Leave Your Backpack at the Fence

What if the secret to building a state championship team wasn't drills or plays, but teaching kids to drop their mental garbage at the fence before practice? This week I sit down with Janet Dickey, head field hockey coach at Westbrook High in Connecticut, certified mindset coach, and founder of Victory Mindsets. Janet is entering her 36th season coaching the same small-town program she played for as a kid, and she's built one of the smallest schools in the state into a conference champion.

We get into the "blade 54 generation" of kids who want to be told exactly where to run, how a 2016 state title pushed her toward mindset coaching, and why she's stayed at the same school for three and a half decades while everyone else was leveling up and moving on. Plus, sibling rivalry as rocket fuel, raising problem solvers instead of rule followers, and why "I loved watching you play today" might be the most important thing a parent can say on the car ride home.

Find Janet at victorymindsets.com or on Instagram and LinkedIn.

Want to be a guest on Drink O'Clock? Send us a message on PodMatch here: podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/drinkoclock

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:36):
You know, this is a new software, so I gotta tell
you, I'm not I'm not used to thecountdown.
I can turn it off, but I kind oflike it a little bit.
I kind of like it a little bit.
Gives you gives you gives youyou know something to expect.
My old one was like record boom,you know.
Uh you have the those coupleextra seconds that get you can
compose yourself.
But um, this is the Drink aClock podcast.
Um my I'm the host, RobValentius, and I have the

(00:59):
pleasure of having with me nowuh Janet Dickey.
Now typically takes a little bitfor me to figure out names.
Yours, I'm good.
I'm not gonna mess up uh Dickey.
I at least I hope I didn't messit up.
So I probably should have askedyou anyway, just in case there
was a way to say it.
No, we got it.
Uh awesome, awesome.
Now, Janet, you're a head coach,you're a certified mindset

(01:22):
coach, and you're also thefounder of Victory Mindsets.
Welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26):
Thanks for having me on.
This is fun.

SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 (01:30):
Good, good.
Yeah.
I mean, hey, look, uh, PodMatchhas been good to me.
Um I have really professionalsite.
I like it.
It's uh, you know, it's a it's agreat way to find people to talk
to that are legit because when Ifirst started, so I'm in this
year in August, it'll be yearfour.
So when I first started, uh Igot everybody from Reddit.

(01:50):
Now Reddit is an interestingplace to find people to chat
with.
Um some people are flaky, youknow.
In the beginning, you know, Ihad people that just didn't show
up or they tell me they forgot,whatever the case is.
Um, so it's not like I couldrate somebody from Reddit.
And then I have the crazypeople, which were always so

(02:11):
much fun to interview.
For me, I love the crazy peoplebecause uh I could probably let
them talk all day and uh youknow go to town with that.
But um, you know, I I podmatchhas been uh a great utility um
for this podcast.
I don't know what your what yourthoughts are on on PodMatch.

SPEAKER_01 (02:29):
I've had a wonderful experience with it.
Um, I didn't realize it was athing until someone recommended
it to me.
And I was like, wow, this isreally a thing.
And it's it's yeah, I've hadsome fun interviews, I've had
some kind of dull ones.
Um, I've had ones where we'renot face to face, and that's
kind of freaky for me.
But like, um yeah, I and I'mgoing to a live recording.

(02:52):
I'm in Connecticut and I'm goinginto the Bronx on Saturday to do
a live recording, so I'm wickedexcited about that.

SPEAKER_00 (03:00):
Man, if I had a real studio and this wasn't like my
bedroom behind me, I would havehad to come record with me.
I'm out of Philly, man.
Oh, that would have been fun.
Philly born.

SPEAKER_01 (03:10):
I love to love Philly.
You gotta be a Gino Ari Emma fanthen.

SPEAKER_00 (03:14):
Yeah, look, man, uh, I gotta tell you, sports here
has been a little rough.
Um except the Eagles.
The Eagles are always havealways been a uh kind of a light
to our darkness here.
Uh it's awesome to see theFlyers in the playoffs.
Um, I'm not hockey's like fourthfor me.
Uh basketball being number two,the Sixers have been a dumpster

(03:36):
fire for years.
Ever.
And they're still a dumpsterfire, and you know, we're
missing our best player goinginto you know, fucking Boston,
who's you know, arguably the Ithink they're better than the
Pistons, so they're probably thebest team in the East.
And uh we're probably gonna getsmoked.
If we get one game, I'll behappy.
Two, I'll be shocked.
So uh we'll we'll see how thatgoes.
I mean, playing in Philly is alittle tough, but we always

(03:59):
choke against Boston, um,unfortunately.
And they got Tatum back, so it'sand then the Phillies are just
uh you know, when you run itback every year, yeah.
You know, it's awful.
It's all I don't know.
Well, who are you a fan of upthere?

SPEAKER_01 (04:10):
So we where we live is smack dab in the middle, um
halfway between Boston and NewYork.
So our whole town growing up, itwas always 50-50.
Um I am more of an amateursports fan.
I love college athletics,anything college athletics.
Um, I really enjoy watching.
Um, but growing up, um, I'mgonna date myself, but it was

(04:32):
the New York Rangers becausethey had um the Maloney boys and
they had Ron Duguet, and andthey were always doing ads on TV
for like I think it was SassonJeans or something that Ron
Duguet did.
Um, and then so the Rangers umice hockey was is my team.
Um, I have two boys that are NewJersey Devil fans, um much to my

(04:56):
chagrin.
And my daughter is uh MapleLeafs fan.
So um interesting.
Yeah.
Uh she she was dating a guy whowas a heavy Boston fan, and when
they broke up, she's like, I'mgonna go with their rivals.
So, and then she's she lovesAustin Matthews, so that's her
her thing.
Um that's funny.
Yeah, I mean gone to games atYankee Stadium, I've gone to

(05:20):
Fenway, I've you know, and butfor me, it really like UConn is
obviously um a big uh draw forus.
University of North Carolinafield hockey is like you know,
our favorite.
Um, I was watching UNC and Dukelacrosse game before I left um
to go out earlier.

(05:40):
So yeah, more collegiate,anything collegiate I'll watch,
like gymnastics, not reallyswimming and stuff like that,
but any collegiate competition.
And then um I like to watch uhthe Premier League from England
every weekend, and Man City ismy team.

SPEAKER_00 (05:57):
So nice, okay.
Yeah, see, I uh the the soccerthing or you know, football is
you know, and when if you're inEurope, um I'm still I'm I'm not
quite there yet watching that.
I got a couple buddies who areuh Cuban, Puerto Rican, uh they
live in Miami, they'recoworkers, and they're they're
obsessed with soccer, so that'sall they talk about.

(06:19):
And uh I I've never really Iplayed a lot actually when I was
younger, uh, but I never reallygot really into it.
Um UConn though, tell you this.
I'm a Nova fan.
And UConn is uh I know we'reokay.
I grew up I grew up like 10minutes from but maybe 15

(06:40):
minutes from VillanovaUniversity.
So it was always a dream of mineto go, but you know, when you're
when it's 35 grand a semester,uh as a poor kid, you know,
unless I was I'm I'm smart, butI didn't apply myself enough to
get you know a full ride.
So that was that was a no-go.
But uh I actually will datemyself here.
I remember I stormed the court.
Uh me and a buddy of mine, wewere at the Wacovia Center.

(07:03):
It was probably actually evenlong before it was Wacovia.
I forget what the hell it wasbefore that, but um well the
Palestra is uh uh at theircollege, but this was like when
they because they would playsometimes, they'd have like a
four-game package where theyactually play where uh the
Sixers play.
And I stormed the court with abuddy of mine when we upset

(07:24):
UConn.
UConn, I think, was ranked atthe time, and we weren't.
And uh we stormed the courtbecause it was a last second
thing.
And uh, this was when Randy Foyplayed for Nova.
Um, a very young freshman, KyleLowry, was playing.
He wasn't even, I don't eventhink he was a starter yet.
Um, and they had some otherplayers that we really got into

(07:46):
that that did a couple of themgot drafted, but never really
did much.
Randy Foy, I think, was uhoutside of Lowry.
Lowry was obviously the you knowthe headliner there, but uh that
that was uh a cool experience.
But now in my I I don't um Idon't follow Nova as much, but
they're local, so we always wantthem to do well.
But it's not like I wanted UConnto lose.

(08:07):
I know their women's basketballis really good, right?

SPEAKER_01 (08:10):
Yes, yes.
Um Gino is a Philly boy.
He um he came up through thesystem in Philadelphia.
Norristown is where he was from.
I'm a huge Gino Ariana fan.
I just love how he coaches andwhat he demands of those girls
and uh the bar he sets.
And I have been for a very longtime, but I'll tell you a funny
side story.
So um my husband and I had thesame Spanish teacher in high

(08:33):
school.
He he's four years older thanme, but we had the same teacher,
and uh he was a Nova, heavy Novaalum.
And this is how I got intocollege bat watching college
basketball.
Our TV got our black and whiteTV got two stations, and CBS
would show a game of the weekevery Saturday, and oftentimes
it was Providence um and orVillanova or Big East game.

(08:56):
It was never, never UConn backthen, but it was you know
something.
If we could tell him what theVillanova score was on the next
quiz, we got like 10 extrapoints.
Um my husband got he got, Idon't want to say he got passed
in that class, but he got a goodgrade because he could sing the
Villanova fight song.
So that was my introduction tolike Rolly Massamino and all of

(09:22):
them.
If I would watch every Saturdaywhatever I could for c men's
college basketball, and itliterally was like a
doubleheader, I want to say, onSaturday afternoons that they
used to show back then.
Uh, and it would have had tobeen CBS because liter ABC and
CBS were the only two channelswe got.

SPEAKER_00 (09:38):
So yeah, college basketball is really fun to
watch, especially March Madness.
I mean, it's just the the stuffthat could this year was a
little lackluster the first tworounds, maybe, but once once you
got really to like this, youknow, the sweet 16 Elite Eight,
there were some crazy games.
And then obviously, uh, youknow, the the game winner uh was

(10:02):
it against Duke, right?
Yep, and that was just and ofcourse I picked Duke.
I had a nice little parlay goingon.
I'm like, oh yeah, I got this.
And then I was I I knew he wasgonna hit the shot.
As soon as we took it, I'm like,damn it, I lost.
I only I'm not a big better,right?
You know, I bet five bucks here,five bucks there, but I was
like, ah, that's a I would havewon 30 bucks.
I'm like, well, I lost five.

(10:22):
Uh, it is what it is, you know.
Uh but it's uh college sports isfun.
You know, you can really see thepassion when you're dealing with
kids.
Uh I don't follow, I just don'tfollow it as much as I do pro,
but I know enough to bedangerous, especially during the
draft, because I'm one of thoseresearch people.
So before the draft, I'm like,I'm looking at draft boards, Mel

(10:42):
Kuiper, uh, you know, and I'mlike like really into figuring
out, trying to figure out whothe Eagles are gonna draft, what
they're gonna do.
And then they always just do theexact opposite of what you think
they're gonna do.
But well, look, let's uh let'stalk a little bit about you,
right?
That's this podcast is for umtalk to me.
Uh let's just talk a little bitabout growing up, you know.
Obviously, we talked about uh,you know, you you're you're in

(11:04):
Connecticut.
Did you always were you bornthere?
I was born in Narrestown, by theway.
Uh so I was born where Gino was.
But uh talk a little bit aboutgrowing up and you know what got
you into sports and andultimately uh lacrosse, right?
Is is your is your big onethere.

SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
Field hockey.

SPEAKER_00 (11:18):
Field hockey.
Field hockey.

SPEAKER_01 (11:20):
Yep.
Um, so yes, I actually live onthe street I grew up on.
Um now.
My son, my youngest, lives inthe house I grew up in.
That's cool.
Um yeah, we it was a piece ofland that my dad had um in his
family that we ended up puttingour house on.
But yep, born and raised inWestbrook, Connecticut, very
small population.
We are in a beach association,so we go from about 5,000 in our

(11:45):
town in the winter to about15,000 in the summer.
Um, my bestie is is one of theonly summer people I ever really
hung out with.
Um, we've been besties since wewere 12.
Um, so we're going on a good50-year anniversary of our
friendship.
And um, yep, got uh went tocollege.

(12:06):
So I was the eight years youngerthan my sister, and my sister is
just phenomenal.
She still is, it kills me.
She is one of those naturallyathletic people.
Like, she was like, uh, we wentskiing one time.
This was like 30 years ago, andshe's like, I think I want to
try this snowboarding stuff.
I'm like, okay.
Next thing you know, rant, rant,rant, rant.

(12:27):
I'm like, really?
I'm on the skis doing this asI'm going down.
But so I was the little kid thattraps behind my sister who
played three sports right afterTitle IX came.
Is it Title Nine?
Yeah, Title Nine, I had to thinkfor a minute.
Right after Title IX camethrough.
Um, a phenomenal uh phys edteacher at the school who
coached all three sports.

(12:48):
Um so she played field hockey,basketball, and softball, and
they were competitive in eachone.
And all of her friends, I wasthat annoying little, you know,
I was in first grade, she was ayou know, fourth grade, I was a
uh she was a senior in highschool.
So I was the annoying littlesister, but they all of her
friends were so good to me.
And it was, I would get home andI would take her extra sticks

(13:11):
out in the side yard and get mytwo friends that lived in the
neighborhood year-round and say,Let's play, let's play, let's
play, let's play.
You know, always out in the yardplaying something kickball,
badge ball, you know, fieldhockey, basketball, playing
horse, shooting hoops, trying todo whatever we could.
And then it morphed into Istarted playing field hockey in
middle school.

(13:32):
And in the eighth grade, I hadmy math teacher was our coach,
and she was phenomenal.
I struggled.
My sister was the Val Victorian.
She went to Connecticut Collegeum on a triple like biology
major, you know, uber, ubersmart.
I I, you know, struggled everytime my mom would come home from

(13:53):
open house, I'd be like, Oh,here we go.
Here's the speech.
You don't apply yourself, youdon't focus.
Well, not for nothing, people.
Massive ADHD, but it wasn't athing back then in the 80s, and
it certainly wasn't a girlthing.
So um, I had a math teacher whowas also our field hockey coach,
and she taught math in a waythat I got it, and we connected

(14:14):
uh at field hockey.
So she really, I think thateighth grade year really
solidified that love of the gamefor me.
Um, went through and played, um,you know, did fairly well, and
went to college and couldn't getmy footing in college.
I I was on the team, but then Iwas like, uh, this is not what I

(14:36):
expect.
You know, I wasn't prepared forbeing in college and being on a
c collegiate junior college, butstill, you know, on that type of
level.
So, and and having competitionfor my spot.
I was always one of the bestones at my spot, so I never had
to compete for my spot fromfreshman year on.
So um, it was all kind of brandnew to me.
And ended up um getting marriedwhen I was 19.

(14:59):
I met a guy, he went into theMarine Corps.
We lived in uh California for alittle bit, and then we lived in
Hawaii, which was flippingawesome.
I every oh I gotta tell you, itheritage is so fascinating.
It really, really is.
Um, I worked with a woman whowas seven years old when Pearl

(15:19):
Harbor was bombed, and you know,we learned about it in our
history books and like you know,those old black and white movies
that they always show in ourclasses.
This is someone who said she waswalking to church when they the
planes were going over, like youknow, so just very fascinating.
Ended up coming back toConnecticut, um, no longer
married to that person, but thehead coaching job at our school

(15:42):
opened up, and I was 23, 24,maybe at the time.
And I was like actually the JVcoach uh opened up.
So I took JV for two years, andthen I in 1990 I took over as
the head coach.
So had a great life living inHawaii.
Jettison, that husband, got agreat husband now.
We've been together 33 years,and uh yep, we have three

(16:04):
children.
Um, my daughter was a regionalAll-American, she played for me,
and she went on to play incollege and also coaching
collegiate um the collegiaterank.
She was an assistant coach atWestern Connecticut.

SPEAKER_00 (16:17):
So following in the footsteps, huh?
That's gotta be pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
Yeah, it was very cool.
But you know, I I my sisterlaughs when I say I really do
owe it all to my hatred of herwhen I was growing up, but my,
you know, my incessant need toprove that I could be just as
good, if not better.
And that really is at the coreof what I think drives me

(16:43):
internally for everything I doin my life.

SPEAKER_00 (16:45):
Yeah, there's something about sibling rivalry.
So my brother is five yearsyounger than me, and uh we
shared similar interests.
He uh, you know, he always, youknow, well, he tells me this
now, but he always looked up tome.
So he would um he would like thesame stuff that I liked just
because I liked it, you know.
So we played me and him used toplay a lot of basketball
together, and we uh we had verydifferent games.

(17:07):
So um yeah, we we grew up in afamily.
Well, we grew up in a poorfamily, you know.
We're not you know, we got by,but we also, you know,
unfortunately in in the worldthat we live in, poor families
we tend to not uh we're not asnutritious typically.
So either not eating or what youare eating is not nutritious,
it's because it's cheap.

(17:28):
So uh we grew up eatingspaghettios, and my mom did the
best she could, you know, for awhile.
My parents were together untilwe were about uh maybe uh I was
probably 10 or 11.
And my brother was like five orsix, so he was pretty young.
And uh, so we were chubby kids.
And then uh as we grew up, sowhen I hit like 13, I'm like,

(17:50):
man, I I really want girls tostart noticing me.
And I don't like people to callme the fat kid anymore.
So I put myself on a diet.
My mom helped me, like, we woulddo like fat-free chicken patties
and like she made it, you know,kiddie, you know, because I was
13.
So I lost like I actually lostso much weight.
I went from oh, I was like 200pounds and I was 13.

(18:12):
So I was I was a big kid.
I was like carbon.
Uh I went from 200 pounds todown to like one.
I want to say I was like, Imight have been even more than
that, but I I lost, I went downto like 130.
Like, you know, as a kid, youcan just you just follow you
just lose it.
Your metabolism's insane.
Um, I actually lost so muchweight in the three months, two

(18:34):
and a half months, you know,summer that when I came back,
people didn't know who I was.
And uh so then my brother atsome point was like, oh my
brother got skinny, you know.
I need to so then he started toto be healthier.
And then me and him were just wewould just play basketball all
the time together.
That was like our thing.
But my game was a lot different.
He was always he's taller thanme, of course.

(18:56):
You know, my mom smokedcigarettes when she had me.
Thanks, mom.
Uh, because it was okay to dothat in the 80s, it wouldn't
affect your kid.
Um, so my brother is a littlebit taller, he's maybe like 5'8,
5'9, and I'm I'm five five.
So he always had a differentgame than me.
He was more of like the powerforward, and I was always the
point guard, you know.
And I always, uh, because I wasshorter, I was, I mean, I was

(19:18):
fast.
That was like my one thing.
I was short, but I was fast asshit.
So, but I always tried to playsmarter.
Because when you're small in asport like basketball that
revolves around athleticism, youhave to play smarter.
It's just like like Kyle Lowryis the same thing.
He's a shorter guy, but healways played smarter.
So I always had to try to thinktwo steps ahead of the defense.

(19:39):
That was like always my gamegrowing up.
Um, so I would do a lot ofno-look passes behind the back.
I would be doing um weird thingsthat people wouldn't, you know,
think of because I'm thinking tomyself, if I run this way, and
if my teammate who I just metfive minutes ago, it's harder
when you're when you're playingpickup games, uh, cuts this way.

(20:02):
His man is probably not gonna bein the lane where I need him to
be, and I can kick up a pass andit's an easy layup.
It it worked with the smarterpeople, not so much with the
people who are just runningaround trying to shoot the ball.
But um, basketball was likealways our thing growing up.
We played some football too, butum, it's just funny.
And me and him got, we didn'tget into like fist fights, but
we would definitely, especiallyif it was just me and him and

(20:23):
we're playing one-on-one, therewas always this.
I had to beat him because I wasthe older kid.
And if he beat me, like he wouldget mad because if I played
fast, then he would play bullyball.
So it was like, did you guysever have that like growing up?

SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
Like the one-on-one situations and not so much with
my sister because she wasalready out of the house when I
was going into like fifth grade.
She was going to freshman yearat college, and then she never
came, she never really movedback.
And my brother was 13 yearsolder than me, so he went to
college when I was uhkindergarten.
But I think like no, neverreally had that.

(21:01):
So that was part of I think whatwhen I went to college I wasn't
prepared for was the competitionof people fighting you for your
for your spot.
Like I never really had to fightfor it.
So that is one of the thingsthat I try to instill in my
girls that play for me is youknow, we are a small squad,

(21:22):
we're a small school, and yeah,you're pretty much guaranteed a
spot.
You don't have to try outthere's no cuts, but you know,
you should always play and actlike somebody is is out for your
spot, you know.
Like I I always make it veryclear that no, you know, every
year it's a fresh slate, andwhen we go in in preseason,
everything is new and and that'sit.

(21:44):
But um, I didn't didn't reallyhave that.
My kids are too so because therewas such a big space between my
siblings and I, my children arethe three of the most
competitive people I've ever metin my life.
And my sons are much like youand your.
Brother.
Um, the youngest is four and ahalf years um younger than the

(22:05):
oldest, but Jeffrey can't be anymore than five five or five six.
And his older brother's six two.
He got my husband's height.
So the knee hockey games thatused to happen in this house,
because they were both icehockey players, were pretty
brutal.
Sometimes the card games got alittle bit out of control or the
board games.

(22:25):
Um, and I also think it helpedmy daughter because I think she
was always trying to show shewas better than the boys.
Like she's the middle child, shealways has that.
I'm the man owned, I'm the onlygirl, I'm the middle, but you
know, I call it Jan Bradysyndrome, which is uh, you know,
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.
I don't know if you understandthat, but so there's a bit of

(22:48):
that also for her.
So I think looking at theirpersonalities, I love the way
they turned out because they sheis so competitive, like so
freaking competitive.
And I love you know, watchingher when she would play in
college, even when she playedfor me, I you know, I just would
stand there and watch her andgo, damn, that's my kid.

(23:09):
And she is so freaking good, youknow, and had nothing to do with
me.
It was all her, trust me.
You know, I was just guidingthem along.
But, you know, it's just so muchfun for a parent to see that.

SPEAKER_00 (23:21):
Competition, uh, you know, regardless of what it's
in, um, I really think,especially as a kid, um, yeah, I
really think it it helps yougrow as a person because it
teaches you about winning andhow to be, you know, a great
diswinner.
It teaches you about losing.
Because I know that today's dayand everyone gets a

(23:41):
participation trophy.
But that's not how the realworld works, right?
If you lose, you'reunfortunately you're a loser.
You can play as hard as youwant.
You can be the best player onthe field, but if you if you're
still gonna lose it, you'restill lost.
And uh it's I think it's a lotof those lessons sports, right?

(24:02):
Because that goes into life aswell.
Um and you know, for me, I thinkthat's where a lot of kids these
days.
And look, you're you're a coach,right?
I mean, I think kids strugglenow because a lot of you know,
it's a lot of proof.
You know, when you're whenyou're a kid, it's like it's
okay to lose, it's okay to dothis, it's okay to that.
But then, you know, I think theystruggle with that later in

(24:24):
life, whether it's throughsports or even in real life,
because they they they grew upgetting that that free trophy
for no reason.

SPEAKER_01 (24:32):
That is the biggest battle I think that any coach
has these days.
Um, is when you were talkingabout how you used to see, like
when you were playing withcertain guys, and you'd be like,
all right, you're planning theyou're planning your thing three
three moves ahead.
Um I we call this the blade 54generation.

(24:54):
They want me to tell them to runto like because we play on
grass, all right, you're gonnarun to blade 54 of the grass,
and Mary's gonna dribble theball to blade 63, and then she's
gonna pass it perfectly to you.
They can't, they cannot thinkoutside the box for themselves,
which is this system that I'vecreated, and and I created it

(25:16):
with help from another, likeeven we got coached, my
assistant and I, we took acoaching course for a whole year
with a great guy from Australiawho who has a great company um
called the Coaching Lab.
And it's about you are theproblem, you as coaches are the
problem setters.
Let the kids be the problemsolvers.
Because if they can't problemsolve in the middle of a game,

(25:38):
how are they gonna problem solvein the middle of the day?
How are they gonna problem solvein the middle of driving a car?
How are they gonna problem solvewhen they get to be an adult and
they've got a coworker that theythey can't get along with, or
they they have a boss that theyjust don't know how to relate
to, or so there's so much oflife lessons that we try to
incorporate into it.
But this like mentality of youjust tell me what to do, coach,

(26:01):
and I'll go do it.
Well, that's not how this works.
So sometimes to make themunderstand it, we have a pond
where we have a beautiful fieldwhere we're way away from the
high school, we're out in acomplex, we're in the outfield
of the baseball field, and it ithas this big pond around it.
And in the fall, it's justgorgeous because the leaves
change color.
And I just when we walk outthere every day, I'm just so

(26:24):
happy and lucky to be out theredoing what I do and what I love
with surrounded by athletes thatwant to learn and are excited to
be there.
And I will say to them, and wewe actually do different things,
you know, at different times,but I will say to them, I can go
to Five Below and buy a set ofpaints and those little um

(26:46):
canvases, and maybe tomorrowwe're all gonna sit and we're
all gonna paint the pond.
And you know what?
Everyone's interpretation isgonna be different, but that's
okay because when you put thepictures together, it's still
what we're all looking at tomake it tie into that, and they
go, uh, you know, like yeah, soyou gotta the kids want to be

(27:12):
creative, they need to becreative.
They can't this leading themaround, like I'm scared.
I'm scared when I'm elderly.
Who's gonna be taking care of melike in a nursing home?
Because I totally plan onpicking one that has a happy
hour and puts me to bed by sixo'clock at night, and I can
watch whatever I want on TV,preferably somewhere sunny and
warm, or just lie to me, justlie to me and have a sand pit

(27:34):
somewhere, wheel me out to thesand and let me sell myself.
But like, who's gonna take careof me if they can't figure out
what I need and and they'regonna freak out because no one
told them that I need amedication at a certain time and
they have a you know, I must dothis, I must do that.
Like, you know, and the you'vegot to foster the competition

(27:57):
within your team in a healthyway.
Because you're gonna have allthose parents on the sideline
that are gonna be woofing about,oh, I'm gonna say that one and
that, and then why is that oneplaying?
And you know, the parentsmeeting, I'm very, you know,
luckily for me, field hockey isnot a sport that anybody's dad
has coached since they werelittle kids.
You know, when you get insoccer, I wouldn't want anything

(28:18):
to do with coaching high schoolsoccer because every one of
those dads has either coached aparking rec team or uh played
for Man City, like in theirbrains.
Like I just thank you.
They know nothing about fieldhockey, so or not nothing, but
next to nothing.
And and so when I have myparents meeting, I can tell them

(28:39):
I these are my expectations.
When you get in a car with yourdaughter after a game, or you
can't find something positive tosay to her, all I want you to
say to her was, I love watchingyou play today.
That was so much fun.
Thank you very much.
And you know, I've gottencompliments on our parents.
Like, they I'm like, if you seegood play from the other team,

(29:00):
absolutely applaud it.
Like you should be doing that.
And there are certain teams thatcome in, and my parents
afterwards are like, Whoa, theirparents are brutal.
I'm like, Yep, but it's not us,and never will it be under my
tenure how we behave.

SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
I couldn't be you, I couldn't deal with the parents.
I'm sure it is not fun because Icouldn't imagine.
I mean, I I remember um Iremember cheering on my brother.
He was in a basketball league,but it was a church league, and
I was uh cheering them on and uhthis one kid.
I I got really frustratedbecause the kid that was

(29:34):
playing, I don't know if he wasuh actually the same age as
everybody, but he was a foottaller of all of them.
And I just remember, and I I'mprobably at the top of the kid.
I'm like, like, you get up thebastard, you know, I'm yelling.
And the the the the church werelike, look, I'm gonna have to

(29:56):
leave.
And I'm like, what?
They're like, you can't beyelling.
And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.
Like, you know, he's my brother.
I want him to to dominate.
And he would have been thebiggest person outside of this
gargantuan kid that just had tocatch the ball and be like, oh,
you know, like it was he was amonster.
And that was back then, so youknow, it's probably even crazier

(30:19):
now for sometimes they see likeeighth graders that are you know
sixth four, and you're like,Well, I don't even care, you
know, uh but destined to be uh asports uh person of some kind in
their future.
Now, um, so you're entering your35th season at Westbrook?
Going into my 36th.
36th.
So, you know, obviously coachestend to move around.

(30:42):
What's kept you in the sameprogram for three and a half
decades?
You know, I mean, um, you gottalove it, right?

SPEAKER_01 (30:48):
I absolutely love it.
I have a great foundation, Ihave great support from my
administrators, and um I have,like I said, this is my town.
It's the team I went, I playedon.
It's my school that I grew up inand graduated from.
My husband graduated from there.
Um, like longevity, I think, issomething that kind of I don't

(31:09):
know if it's a work ethic umreally that was instilled in me.
My dad was a self-employedjeweler who always was, you
know, we're the first to you areart when your name's over the
door, you're the first to come,you're the last to go, and you
do all the cruddy jobs.
Um, and I just think it was, andand you didn't leave a job until

(31:30):
you had another one lined up.
Like that was either better orequal pay, you you know, or if
you had to take a cut was betterfor you, whatever for whatever
reason.

SPEAKER_03 (31:40):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (31:40):
Um so I think it was the work ethic that was
instilled to me in me by by mydad.
Um, but yet again, our town isis a very close-knit community.
My husband's been at his is thefirst job for him out of
college, and he is um in year 42at the same company.

SPEAKER_00 (32:01):
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (32:02):
Unusual, yeah, you know, and very unusual for us.
But like I said, I I in like I Ilove what I do, and and I can't
imagine, you know, I did getasked once about let me see,
Kevin's 26.
He was maybe just had him, or hewas one.
So 25 years ago, a job came upat a college nearby, and uh an

(32:25):
equipment guy who I knew umsaid, Oh, you'd be great for
this, you should go and apply.
And I I was like, you know what?
I I have no desire.
Like I I at that point I hadn'treally accomplished everything I
wanted to with my Westbrookteam.
And I felt as though I just, youknow, it wasn't my it wasn't it

(32:46):
wasn't in my heart.
I I didn't feel like it was whatI really needed to do.
I feel like there's too much ofthe leveling up.
I'm gonna I'm gonna start hereand then I'm gonna level up in
two years, I'm gonna go here,and I'm gonna go there.
And and I feel like when youlook at someone's resume and
they shifted around that much,that like to me is a red flag.
That's just me.

SPEAKER_00 (33:06):
Commitment there, you know.

SPEAKER_01 (33:09):
He yeah, that's a super red flag to me.
Like, why, you know, and I thinkthat's actually something that I
instilled in all of my childrenas well.
Um, which, you know, I've youknow, I have a like I said, I
have a son, and he just switchedjobs, but he was at the other
job for like eight or nineyears, and he said, Mom, this is
a this is a level up for me, andyou know, management changed at

(33:32):
my other job, and it like he wastrying to sell it to me.
I'm like, dude, you don't haveto sell it to me.
You know, I get it.
Like it's fine, but you know, Iit's it's very um rewarding as a
mom and as a coach to see thelongevity of what you've created
and values that you don't evenknow that you've instilled in
people that you've instilled inthem.

(33:53):
My middle school coach is ateacher in our school system,
she played for me.
So that's awesome.
Yeah, yeah, and she's raisingtwo kids in town, and her little
one is like playing now.
She's she's actually done aphenomenal job of trying to
create interest um with theelementary school age kids
because, like I said, we're avery small program, and getting,

(34:14):
you know, uh competing againsttowns that have a great feeder
program and great park and recthings.
She's done a great job with thepark and rec stuff.
Why?
She has a passion for it.
This kid loved playing, sheloves coaching, and it and she
brings that into everything shedoes.
And our fields are kind of likeside by side a little bit.

(34:35):
Their kids are always runningover after practice, the middle
schoolers, if we have a game andsitting on the sideline and
watch it.
So I say to mine, look, you'resetting the example for the
littles.
Like they're you're you're liketheir idols, they want to be
like you when they get to highschool.
So set a good example for them,which is what my sister's
friends did for me.

SPEAKER_00 (34:52):
That's awesome.
You know, um, I live innortheast Philly, so it's a
little bit different for us.
Like our uh sometimes I I wishwe had that small town oriented
thing because I feel like you'dyou know pe everyone you run
into, but uh there's there'spositives and negatives, I
guess.
We don't have a conveniencestore or freaking have a beer

(35:14):
store with a walking distance.
So like you know, you get youget some some cool stuff either
way.
I think it depends on whatyou're into.
Um now Westbrook was one of thesmallest programs, right, in
Connecticut, but you've builtthem into a bit of a powerhouse.
Um what's year one coaching beenlike for you compared to now?

SPEAKER_01 (35:38):
Oh gosh, year one.
Um, I don't think we won a game.
I was so young, year one.
Um, what was I like 23, 24,maybe?
Um, and just naive.
I coached them like I wanted tobe coached, like how I thought
coaching should be.
Like I was, you know, I'm incharge, and you know, clueless,

(36:01):
absolutely clueless.
Um, God bless those girls thatthey still talk to me.
Um, one of them is an officialin the area now.
Um, and yeah, I love, you know,and she she'll make a call and
she'll look at me and go, like,she's looking for my approval,
and I'll be like, Kel, it'sfine.
You're good, you're good.
Like it's just funny.
And then I have to remember shestill sees me as her coach.

(36:24):
I see her as my peer.
She still sees me as her coach.
So I have to remember that that,you know, I have that kind of
whatever, you know, that aura orwhatever.
Um, and then, you know, I wentalong, went along, went along.
Got some good players.
Um, got a little better, but Igotta be honest with you, when I

(36:46):
ended up, and I'm trying tothink, Emily's been with me for
20, Mikhail's 29, like 29seasons.
When I got together with myassistant coach, she really is
the yin to my yang.
Like, she is good at the thingsthat I am not good at, and the
coming together of our minds umreally is what helped start to

(37:11):
change.
I think as a coach, you have tobe okay with asking for help,
um, taking help, receivinginformation, um, you know, just
okay, this isn't working.
I gotta go in a differentdirection.
It's okay to be vulnerable likethat.
And I don't know that a lot ofcoaches can be vulnerable.

(37:35):
I know a lot of coaches that aredoing things the way they did
them in the 80s.
Well, okay, that's great, butwhat are you creating players
that can adapt to a collegiateprogram?
Or are you creating players thatplay the system that you've
taught them that works for you?
Like, I feel like we are raisingyoung ladies that some of some

(37:56):
of which are gonna play incollege and are gonna have to
learn how to get along with newteammates and maybe teammates
that they might not get alongwith outside of the field, but
when they're on the field, theygotta they gotta get along with
them.
You know, we're raising theseyoung women to go out and be
able to use the voices to talkand and advocate for themselves.

(38:17):
Um, you know, our social media,they can ignore any of the
social media garbage that thatgets spewed on them.
I I would first of all, I alwaysjoke with my assistant coach.
I would have to have broken herphone when we were in high
school if we ever knew eachother in high school.
She went to a different school,she went to a rival school, as a
matter of fact.

(38:38):
Um, but she's like the got apost, you know, she likes
Facebook and all that stuff, andshe's always checking in, and
she all she'll ask, she'll say,Is it okay if I tag you?
And I'll, you know, I'll say yesor no.
We she would have been the onethat would have been like online
telling everybody we were at thekeg party in the woods.
Like that's just her and herpersonality, you know.

(38:58):
I can't imagine my parentshaving the ability to check in
and see where I was 98% of thetime when I was in in high
school.
Luckily for me, I was eightyears younger, so they were a
little tired by the time I camealong.
And you know, I did a lot, I Ilike to say I was raised by TV,
you know, the TV families, thePartridge family, the Brady

(39:19):
Bunch, they all raised me.
That was good.
But is it's a joke now becausemy sister-in-law and I are the
same age, and my husband is fouryears older than us.
He was going to Yukon, and wewere uh juniors in high school
and seniors in high school.
I would tell my parents I wasgoing to the library with Sue,
and we'd go up to Yukon.

(39:40):
Now, Yukon is about a littleover an hour on rural country
roads.
Now, picture that in uh, youknow, I'd put enough gas in so
that they wouldn't notice thegas was gone.
And but we never thought we weregonna hit a deer.
That wasn't a thing then.
Flat tire.
I don't know what I would havedone if I ever got a flat tire.
I would have had to go findsomebody's house, knock on the

(40:02):
door.
I would have had to call myfather on a phone and go, I'm
in, you know, I'm 50 minutesaway.
Can you, you know, come help orwhatever?
Never thought of that.
Got in the car, went up there,went up to it was the old field
house at UConn.
We used to watch the games, thebasketball, the guys' basketball
games, and come home.
And my parents were like, Well,you're at the library a lot.
Why are your grades so bad?

SPEAKER_00 (40:22):
I'm like, jeez, I I I'm trying.
Yeah.
Must be the teacher.
We lived, we lived in adifferent like, because I'm, you
know, I grew up, I was born in86, so I I'm a millennial, but I
was kind of like the lastgeneration that grew up without
cell phones.
You know, I didn't get a cellphone until I was in high
school, right?

(40:42):
So I grew up up to 13, 14, 15ish before I had a cell phone.
And I think, you know, um Iappreciate that time now as an
adult because hey, my mom wouldbe like, be home by six for
dinner.
You're not home.
I'm assuming you're beingkidnapped, I'll call the police.

(41:04):
You know, like my mom was wasuh, you know, very uh
protective, but you know, it wasa weird time frame.
Now, you know, if you're it'slike everything's instant
contact, you know, it's it'svery hard to break off that
grid, to leave the grid of youknow, everyone can get to you,
whether it's your cell phonethrough text and call or social

(41:25):
media, right?
Facebook message or whatever.
You're always reachable.
And I I I did appreciate uh, youknow, uh being able to unplug or
just if I didn't want to talk tosomeone, I didn't have to.
And I think the kids now it'syou can't unplug.
Everything is interconnectedwith everything, you know.

SPEAKER_01 (41:44):
And and our kids are so afraid of fear of fear of
judgment and fear of failure.
Yeah, they are, you know,because it's gonna be splashed
everywhere.
And that is my biggest thing isthey when they come in, so we're
in the outfield of the baseballfield, and they come into the
like all in the fences, and theyleave their imaginary backpack

(42:04):
of garbage from the day on theoutside of the fences.
And and there are days when Igo, you know what, I need to go
outside the fences, drop mygarbage, and come back in.
Like there'll be days when I'm alittle scattered and I'll be
like, Yeah, I gotta go do thisright now.
And the the phones stay in thebag.
Like when we have a water breakor we're having a little bit of
a transition time, you know, thephone stays in the bag.

(42:26):
You're there, be present withyour friends because you're
never gonna be present in thismoment again.
And I think that's one of thethings that they truly actually
appreciate is the permission tobe present in the moment and not
have to be constantly checkingthose phones.
And you know, the captains areall making TikToks after the

(42:47):
game, like with whoever scored agoal or had an assist or
whatever.
That's awesome.
And they're doing their TikTokand then they're done, and then
the back the phones arebackstahed again.
And I explained that to theparents at the beginning.
Don't expect to get instantly intouch in touch with your kid
during practice time, becauseyou know, if if it's my time,
I'm with them.

(43:07):
I don't answer my phone then.
My phone is in my bag, and Idon't even look at it until the
end of practice.
I have a radio if the AD needsto get me or the athletic
trainer needs to get me.
If there's a hurricane comingand they need to radio
something, I have a radio and Ican hear that instantly.
Otherwise, it's my time with mygirls.

SPEAKER_00 (43:27):
And I I appreciate that.
I I think uh more people kind ofneed to follow that direction
because we don't we don't have alot of that.
Old school, right?
Um now you became a certifiedmindset coach in 2019.
What was happening in yourcoaching life that made you say,
I need to go get certified inthis?

SPEAKER_01 (43:48):
So what happened was in 2016, we won a state title
with um 16 kids on our team.
Now it takes 11 just Like socceron a size.
And and most of those kids werelike freshmen.
I want to say maybe five or sixof the starters were freshmen.

(44:10):
And I had kind of been doingdifferent things.
I would go to differentconferences, get different ideas
from different coaches, and Ikind of belt blended it all
together.
Well, after that game, Irealized that I'm onto something
here, but I didn't really knowwhat.
And the training popped up, youknow, like much like when you

(44:30):
talk about something and it popsinto your phone or whatever.
Um, from po yeah, positiveperformance, um, Lindsay Wilson.
Um, and it was uh, you know, getcertified.
And I thought maybe I, you know,maybe I could turn this into
something, um, you know, inaddition to what I do anyway.
So um I did the certificationmostly through COVID, I I want

(44:54):
to say.
I started that September, soSeptember 2019, and uh it was a
year-long thing, and um startedusing more of the techniques
that I learned from Lindsay thatI that I teach now that she
certified us in.
And um this past season was soin 2021, we didn't have enough

(45:16):
for our own team.
So we um reached out to a formerplayer who's an athletic
director at a nearby town, andwe ended up with a co-op team.
So a school who had never hadfield hockey, although their AD
played for me, and our school.
So I had girls coming over fromthat school, and this is the
fifth year in the cycle, andemploying all the techniques

(45:38):
that I I've been employing allthe way through, and um
combining it with the coachinglab with our friend Jack from
Australia, stuff from him, madethis whole bundle of stuff, and
I'm like, wow, this reallyworks.
And I see so many of my fellowcoaches struggling.
Like, we're the first co-op in,I don't know if it's in the
state, but I definitely knowit's in our conference to win a

(46:00):
conference title.
We won our conference title.
Um, we had 15, 15 wins thisseason.
We're 15, two and two, I want tosay.
And um, yeah, and I want toshare it.
And I'm like, well, I should youknow, this is a great side gig.
Like, I love sharing it, but I Ialso like that I can say, hey,

(46:23):
this is my job.
I get to coach people for aliving.
I love that because that's whatI love to do.
I was born to be a coach.
I I didn't know it.
I wish I had known it back whenI was trying to figure out what
to do in college.
I probably would have gone to bea teacher, but back in the in
the early 80s, um teachingwasn't a profession you went
into.
My dad wanted me to go intobusiness because of the

(46:46):
business.
Um, you know, get that businessbackground, get that business
degree, and you know, not notrun off and get married to a
Marine.
You know, that's it's okay.
It is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 (46:58):
Life is life.
Um, you know, I do have a lot ofyoung people that listen to
this, and I always try to guidethem in the right direction.
I always tell people, you know,uh, I think what makes us human
is making mistakes, man.
And uh, you know, as you getolder, you own the mistakes, and
then as you get even older, youyou kind of turn those mistakes
into uh a philosophy, or youturn that into something and and

(47:20):
you make a positive out of it, Iguess is the best way to put it.

SPEAKER_01 (47:22):
Absolutely.
Here's my mantra it's how youreact to the situations that
you're you've been given is whatdefines you as a person.
So that's and that's what I tellthe girls.
And honestly, looking back now,I think I went through
everything I went through sothat I could be better prepared

(47:43):
to teach the girls now.
Like I did a lot of on my ownstuff, and I I learned and you
know, you you go off to thistropical island, no friends, no
nothing, no support group.

SPEAKER_00 (47:58):
Um, and I mean, but if you had to go anywhere with
no friends, I mean that's atleast a decent place to go,
right?
It's not like you went toDetroit.

SPEAKER_01 (48:07):
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
I think uh the next station hewould have gone to, I think
that's why I was like, yeah,nope, nope, not going there.

SPEAKER_00 (48:14):
I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 (48:15):
But like everything I you know, everything I went
through defines me as a personand it prepared me to better
prepare these young ladies tonot squander their athletic
ability, to not feel like theycan't accomplish something if
they put their minds to it.
Um, years ago I had uh you know,that come to me and and they'll

(48:36):
be like, hey, how's school?
Blah, blah, blah.
Oh, I went to the guidanceoffice and I was gonna apply to
this school, this school, thisschool, but she told me don't
even bother.
I'm like, why?
What's the worst they're gonnatell you?
No, okay, no harm.
Well, do you know that thatyoung lady got into that school
and got her degree from thatschool?
Like, I want to walk into theoffice and go, What are you
telling these girls?
Like, don't what's the worstthat can happen?

(48:59):
No is a completely okay answer,but you're not gonna know until
you try.
And it's okay to fall down andit's okay to fail.
I've done it, and let me showyou why how I've done it.
So, and how I picked myself backup and how I rebuilt, and uh,
you know, so I think that all ofthose lessons are what have made

(49:20):
me who I am, but they've alsomade me the coach that I am, and
the value I bring to thisprogram and the and the
insights, the personal insightsand and everything, make it uh,
you know, in my mind it's ano-brainer.
I don't know why I don't have aline out the door waiting to
talk to me, but well, that's whywe gotta get you out there,

(49:42):
right?

SPEAKER_00 (49:42):
Um it's that's why I'm here.
Well, it's the it's the famousMichael Scott um quote, right?
You miss a hundred percent ofthe shots you don't take.
Uh I think Wayne Gretzky said ittoo, but uh, you know, we'll get
we'll give it to Michael Scott.
So I like that.
I think that's I think it'simportant.
I think it's good to to teachkids it's okay to fail, man.
Um, you know, my generation, um,it that's very much what it was

(50:05):
like.
It was like, hey, you fail, youfail.
If you get knocked down, comeback up.
I mean, my dad, um, you know, Igot my ass whooped.
I would Narkstown was not uh notthe friendliest place to grow up
as a kid.
So, you know, I walked toschool, no one drove me, you
know.
I was uh, you know, my middleschool was it was in walking

(50:26):
distance, so I'd walk.
I got my ass beat once, and uh,you know, my dad's like, We're
you're going to karate.
So I went to karate, I did uhlearned some taekwondo, and um,
you know, I'm I'm going againstthis this big kid.
And we, you know, we'resparring.
And uh he's like, Look, man, itdoesn't matter how big uh they

(50:46):
are, you got heart.
And uh I I remember I'm I'mtimid at first because I'm I'm
not I'm a lover, not a fighter.
You know, that's not my thing.
Uh and I remember this kid, he,you know, you got you the red
sparring gear, he punches me inthe forehead.
And I just remember getting sofucking mad that I just went
ballistic.
I'm hitting him with jabs andleft and like I I end up winning

(51:09):
the fight, and and my dad'slike, you know, they had a uh a
room where parents could watch,but it was separated, you know,
which is probably the smartthing to do.
Uh it has like the see-throughglass or whatever.
And I just remember that wasgymnastics.

SPEAKER_01 (51:21):
When my daughter went to gymnastics, I had to sit
in the room and watch throughthe glass.

SPEAKER_00 (51:24):
Same thing, right?
And uh I just remember, youknow, when it was over my dad,
he still brings stuff.
You know, my dad's 62.
He's like, Do you remember thattime?
You beat the crap out of thatbig kid.
You know, I'm like, I'm like,Yeah, I do actually.
You know, there's certain thingsyou you do remember.
Um, and you know, I think uh asit's it's important for you and
and what you're doing there as acoach and teaching these kids
because um I I worry as well.

(51:47):
I deal with seniors now.
It's it's you know, my job.
I work in like the Medicareworld.
And uh I I'm worried when I getthat, you know.
I'm not I I'll be 40 this year,so it's not like I'm that far
off, you know.
Hopefully they come up with thatlike longevity drug for humans.
I'll I'll be in line, throw itright in the veins, you know.
I'm uh I'll be cool to live tolike a buck fifty or something

(52:10):
as long as as long as I stillhave my mind, you know.
It's I don't want to lose mymind.

SPEAKER_01 (52:14):
Um Yeah, that is the scary part, is the is the uh
from what it it just in myfamily, from what I've seen,
either the body goes and themind is completely sharp, or the
mind goes and the body is fine.
And I'm thinking to myself, do Iwanna know I want to walk across
the room and I can't do it, ordo I want to not have a clue and

(52:35):
just walk across the room?
Like you, you're like that'sit's a hard one.
My plan is to a hundred.
I'm planning on living to ahundred.
I already informed my kids.
I'm I'm going out at a hundred,so we'll see.
I you know, I it's tough, man.

SPEAKER_00 (52:48):
You know, because you don't it all the things that
we've been fed and and given,and maybe this is the conspiracy
theorist to me.
I don't do you watch uh likeNetflix and stuff?
Did you watch the plasticdocumentary that they have on
there?
Don't do it.
It just ruin it ruins it ruinseverything for you.
Now I look at everything, I'mlike, oh well, that's yeah,

(53:10):
plastic bottle.
Apparently, uh they interviewlike uh uh how many how many
couples, babe?
They interview three.
My my fiance's behind the greenscreen.
Um she's kind of like myproducer that's not my producer.
Um so there's three couples thatthey interview and they're
struggling to get pregnant.
So this this lady who's beentalking about microplastics for

(53:32):
decades, you know, is basicallykind of running an impromptu
experiment.
Like if we remove all theplastics from your life, will
you get pregnant?
I got halfway through and I'mlike, Jesus, I look at
everything that I do as plastic.
And, you know, and God onlyknows what it's doing to your
brain.
Um I think they said in the umthe documentary that everybody

(53:55):
right now has enoughmicroplastics to equate to a
full plastic spoon.
And that's just in your bodyright now.
Um, you know, so I'm trying, I'mat the the age now where I'm
trying to like live healthier.
And dude, like I weigh my foodand I've been doing different
things to try to not be a slob,and uh everything just

(54:18):
everything's bad for you.
It's like it's like you'repicking um you know, Emperor
Palpatine or Darth Vader, right?
It's like which one are youtaking today?
And that's kind of how you knowlife is so um it's tough.
And you see documentaries likethat, man, it kills me.

SPEAKER_01 (54:34):
Well, and yeah, and like you were saying before,
like when you were saying howyou the cheaper food is the
junker junk food.
Why?
Why why is the good healthystuff expensive?
That should not be the way itshould be, but it is.
But um, I grew up with my momwas I would like to say she was

(54:56):
very progressive for her day andage.
Um, they used to spray for themosquitoes in the summer, and
she would run around now.
These are like the memories Ihave of her, running around the
house like a crazy person.
Close the window, you gottaclose the windows.
What was it, DDT that they werespraying?
Yeah, like she knew, but shelike she was that progressive

(55:16):
that she was on to the that'sall chemicals, you gotta close
it.
Like, you know, keep the house,uh yeah.
And yeah, I just thought she wasbeing a crazy person because she
was freaking out about, youknow, I didn't realize it till I
got older.
My sister, you know, graduatedhigh school in this mid-70s,
went to a very uh crunchy, ifyou will, earthy uh college, and

(55:39):
you know, she, you know, was avegetarian and everything.
Mom started to go to our weeklytrips to the grocery also
included the health food store,which I don't know what the
smell was in there when I was akid, but I don't know if it was
patchouli or whatever, but itwas just hard.
The smell of this, but the allthe unblanched almonds, the

(56:00):
all-natural.
We had a big glass jar, it waslike this big, it was a pear
shape, filled with sunflowerseeds.
So I grew up um Lucky Charms arestill and will always be my
cinnamon toast crunch for me.

SPEAKER_00 (56:14):
Um big cinnamon toast crunch.

SPEAKER_01 (56:20):
I remember my bestie coming into the kitchen in the
summer, and I'd be like, I justgotta finish my breakfast.
And it was plain yogurt, choppedup whatever fresh fruit was in
the house, raisins, those ahandful of those nuts, a handful
of those sunflower seeds.
And I remember her being like,What are you eating?
But that was, you know, my mom,like I said, very progressive

(56:40):
for that day and age.
I'm like, that was just what thefood that was in the house,
never had soda in the house,ever.
No soda.
Um, just was not what we drank.
We had milk at dinner, we had apewter pitcher that went on the
table filled with milk atdinner, and we all filled up,
you know, our glasses out of it.
And it just, you know,unfortunately, when she got

(57:02):
older, um, you know, I thinkher, like you said, it's like
raising toddlers.
The seniors are like raisingtoddlers.
When my my son, my oldest, was ateenager, and my mom was giving
me a hard time.
I I would look at the two ofthem and go, I'm she lived two
streets away.
I'd be like, I'm shipping youdown to Nana's and you're gonna
live with Nana.
Because the both of you aregoing through the same thing at

(57:23):
this time, and you're bothdriving me crazy.
So you go live with Nana, haveat it.
Good luck.
Nasping on there, whatever,however they say it.
Have a good, have a good life,the two of you.
Um, but Karmer comes backaround, he's got two little
ones, and he's raising byhimself an 11-year-old and a
six-year-old.

SPEAKER_00 (57:42):
So hey, you did something right.
You got some grandkids, right?
So, you know, um, you got themthrough the the tough stuff, and
uh now they can coach their kidsjust like you coach them.
So it's it's a a beautifulcircle.
Uh the the way the way of thelife.

SPEAKER_01 (57:58):
It is, and that is the thing, yeah.
That is the thing that I don'tthink people connect these days
is how connected we are withoutthe cell phones, just through
life connections, how connectedand what that circle of life
kind of is, and how important itis to nurture that circle of
life, your your elders and yourpeers, as well as your children

(58:22):
and the future of, you know,what did Whitney say?
The I believe the children areour future.
Well, I'm kind of scared for thefuture at times.
Uh, I mean, I hold out good hopefor the fact that I know that my
son is raising his daughterswith values that he got from us,
but they're the they're theexception.

SPEAKER_00 (58:41):
I would agree with you.
I would agree with you.
Now, um, I didn't get to 90% ofmy questions, which is good.
That means this is a goodinterview, Janet.
Okay.
Um, but look, I want you to plugaway, tell us where everybody
can find your content, andhopefully we can uh we can help
you grow that.

SPEAKER_01 (58:58):
All right.
So they can contact me,Victorymindsets at Gmail.
And um my website isvictorymindsets.com.
Um, and those I'm on Instagram,I'm on uh LinkedIn, they can
contact me through those.
Um, and basically, you know, DMme anytime, anything they want

(59:19):
to know about my program.
Um, please, you know, contact meand say yes, yes, yes.
I'm excited.
I want to learn more from you.
You seem like an amazing coach.
And, you know, we would love tohave your your uh input into our
program.
And and again, like I said, nojudgment from me.
I'm I'm on the like, I'm soexcited when people want to

(59:41):
change because I see coaches ona sideline and I really want to
go up to them in the middle of agame and go, so um, I really
like to help you, you know.
And some people don't want thathelp, and I get that.
And I see those girls, andafterwards, I'm like, I'll go
through the high five line andI'll give them a hug and I'll
whisper in their ear something,you know, positive, like, hey,
you're doing the right thing.
It's okay, keep going, you know,whatever.
But it it's heartbreaking to mewhen I see people just not

(01:00:05):
enjoying what they do, notenjoying the kids, and not
giving those kids the experiencethat they should have.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:12):
Well, I think a lot of people pick the wrong jobs
too.
You know, maybe maybe they'renot in where they where they
want to be either.
Uh I would recommend to you getsome good business cards, man.
Throw a QR code on there, handthem off at the hand them off at
the coach handshake.
Like, hey, you ever want to wantto chat?
Boom, here you go.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:32):
Yeah, after we after we beat you, I think that
sometimes it's a little awkward.
They get a little, they get alittle, you know, a little uh
angry sometimes.
You know what?

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:42):
You should have specific business cards for the
people you beat, right?
I'm sorry.
But if you want to find out howI did it, boom, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:50):
Hey, that's a great idea.
I gotta reorder some new ones.
I might have to change themaround.
That's a great idea.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:55):
I work in our I work in our marketing operations for
my company, so we we try to comeup with random shit all the
time.
So I'm like, hit me with theideas.
I'm here.
Well, me and AI, you know, atthis point, me and AI are like
this.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:08):
So um I I'm a television junkie, and you know
what gets me?
Like, I was gonna tease youbefore and say, so you basically
you're mayhem and his brotheroutside in the park in the
driveway playing basketball.
Those commercials during thebasketball, during the I think
the the commercials during MarchMadness are sometimes better
than the um Super Bowl ones.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:27):
Oh, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:28):
Honestly, there's some there's some really good
ones.
I wish they had would havebrought back the ones with with
uh Charles Barkley and thoseguys with the we're
Indianapolis.
No, no, Chuck, we have to go toIndianapolis.
Like that one was awesome thatone year.
But there are some I love acommercial that afterwards you
go, wait, what what was thatpart?

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:48):
I love Barclay and and all and all those guys.
They they their show and andjust him in general.
He just says the craziest stuff.
I love it.
Uh, but it's I don't know.
It's funny you say that becauseit uh we do a holiday party
every year, and um I'm on sinceI'm partly on our our marketing
team, we always come up with askit.
And I actually wrote a wholeskit for my boss.

(01:02:10):
I made him instead of mayhem,I'm uh I made him uh Mr.
Medicare.
And he was basically there's alot of changes in our world all
the time.
And uh we we basically simulatedthat in in the auto insurance
world, but for for Medicare, andit was it was really funny.
So we get a kick, we do thatevery year.
I've made him uh you ever seethe progressive commercials

(01:02:31):
where they're like when you turninto your parents, like I made
him the old guy.
Oh, we talk about him all thetime.
Yeah, I made him Dr.
Bob because his name's his yes,we're both Robert.
So uh I made him die.
So I I I get every year I get toturn him into some funny
commercial person at some point,and then it's it's it's fun.
But um, well, look, this was apleasure.

(01:02:52):
Um, I really enjoyed having thisconversation with you.
My podcast is drinkclock pod onall socials, drink clock
podcast, wherever you listen topodcasts, as well as YouTube.
Follow me, like, subscribe onYouTube, and uh we'll have this
up soon.
So um, yeah, thank you so muchfor joining me.
And uh let's do this again soon.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:08):
I would love to.
Thank you very much.
What an awesome time.
Thanks.