December 24, 2025 • 23 mins
How did your last year go? You didn’t just survive this past year—you grew, overcame, created, and loved.
But if you’re not remembering that, you’re missing the fuel that will drive the year to come.
In this episode, Justin Wenck, PhD, invites you to take a loving and honest look back at your year and discover just how much beauty, growth, and adventure you’ve lived through (even if you forgot most of it).
Whether you're heading into a new year or stuck in the middle of one, this episode will help you reconnect with your story, reclaim your wins, and remember how much progress you’ve made, even when it didn’t feel like it.
✨ Key Takeaways
🔁 You’ve done more than you think. Use your calendar to remember the highlights—and the healing.
🧠 Why our brains often forget the good stuff (and how to reclaim it).
🗻 The "Mount Everest" metaphor: Why falling into a pit might mean you climbed farther than anyone else.
💔 Reframing hardships and loss—Justin shares stories of illness, grief, and letting go.
🛠️ Categories to reflect on: health, travel, relationships, growth, skills, and joy.
💡 The life-changing power of self-love—and how to build it (including a mirror technique that’s not for the faint of heart).
🧘🏽♂️ How loving yourself creates sustainable motivation, energy, and emotional transformation.
Ready to reflect? Open your calendar, scan the last 12 months, and start noticing what you forgot to celebrate.
Want to feel more grounded, peaceful, and connected? Try Justin’s Life Energy Activation Process (LEAP) at JustinWenck.com/LEAP.
Revisit Episode 35 for the powerful “I Love Myself” guided meditation.
Share your breakthrough with Justin: What did you forget that you now remember?
Comment on social or email: podcast@justinwenck.com
Ready to stop just understanding this work… and actually experience it?
Join Justin for a live, in-person 60-minute experience designed to recharge your system across your body, mind, emotions, and energy.
📍 Ocean Yoga, Pacifica, CA USA
🗓 May 2nd | 1:00–2:00 PM
👉 Register here:
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Connect with me:
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Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, music and pics belong to the rightful owners.
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Justin Wenck (00:00):
How has your year been? Welcome to the show. I
(00:02):
really do want to know, how hasthe past year of your life been,
and I'm guessing, no matter howgood or bad you think it's been,
it's actually been even betterthan you actually remember. And
that's why, on today's episode,we're going to be going over why
it's so important that youactually recognize how great of
(00:23):
a year you actually had. Becauseif you're not owning that and
seeing that and utilizing that,you're basically saying, I want
to have a way more challengingyear than I need to. And there's
no reason for that. So if youwant to have the easiest, most
incredible, most enjoyable yearthat you've had so far in your
(00:45):
life. You're not going to wantto miss this episode. Are you
ready to live a life with enoughtime, money and energy have
relationships and connectionsthat delight you? Are you ready
for the extraordinary life youknow you've been missing. If so,
then this is the place for you.
I'm a best selling author,coach, consultant and speaker
(01:08):
who's worked in technology forover two decades. I'm a leader
at transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
Justin Wenck, PhD, so what do Imean by like you probably had a
(01:32):
much better year than yourecognize? Well, this is going
to be a real key to loving youryear, loving yourself and loving
what's coming up before you. Sothis is something that I've been
practicing for a very long time,and I'm also going to tie it in
with one of the most populartopics that I've ever covered on
(01:53):
this show. And I think you'regoing to see how simple yet how
powerful it is in making youhave the life that you actually
want to have, instead of justhaving the life that you seem to
get, whether you want it or not,because you want the wildlife
you want, right? Not just thelife you got. If you're happy
with the life you got, then whyare you listening to this? I
(02:16):
would love, yeah, let me know.
I'd love to hear why you'relistening to this. If you're
like, I just just like my, likemy beautiful face, or my the
sound of my my voice. Anyway,what we're talking about is,
first off, have you actuallylooked back at what happened in
the past year? Because I'mrecording this before the before
(02:38):
2025 is over. It's going to comeout just right before Christmas.
So many of you might belistening to this, you know,
leading into the new year, yet,whether you're listening to this
at that time, or maybe sometimein the middle of the year,
whenever you listen to this,it's always a good time to look
back on what's been going on,and especially at the end of the
year, because when you actuallylook back at what has happened,
(03:02):
you're going to realize thatyou've probably accomplished and
experienced a whole lot morethan you've allowed yourself to
remember. And you're also goingto recognize that it wasn't all
smooth sailing, that you mighthave had some issues, some
challenges, and despite allthat, you still had the
experiences and the triumphs andthe great experiences and loves
(03:23):
and connections that that youultimately ended up having
again. This doesn't mean thatthe year was easy and that
everything went your way. Therecould have been all sorts of
horrible things, yet what I'marguing is it was better than
you likely remember. So how doyou actually remember all this?
And so for many people, the thisis going to be simple. For
(03:47):
others of you, this mightrequire, you know, maybe
adopting one new, simple, butalso helpful habit, and that
habit, or that thing that isgoing to be really easy, is to
go and just review yourcalendar. So if you're like me
and many other people, and youkeep a calendar, I use Google
Calendar. However you keep acalendar, maybe it's the old
(04:08):
school paper calendar. Was itFranklin Covey or whoever,
whoever it was, but basically,whatever way that you were able
to make sure that you showed upfor appointments, showed up for
meetings, showed up for theairport and showed up for dates
and gatherings and whatnot.
Like, that's basically most ofwhat happened in the past year,
(04:28):
right? So I, I've done thisevery year for, I don't know,
well, over a decade. Like,originally it was something I
had to do as part of working,you know, at a corporate job
where every year they're like,Well, you got it. We got to do
self assessment time. Andbasically they have you, they
had me, they had all of us,where I, you know, worked for,
(04:51):
you know, 10 years initially, atmy first company is you rewrite
your own self assessment andthen they. Basically, you go
through it with your manager,and he kind of goes, okay, yeah,
that's what you did. And here'swhat I think about it. But it's
like, Wait, what did I do? Andso I would go through my
calendar and it's like, oh yeah,I worked on that project, or oh
yeah, I went on that trip. Andit's like, you know? So it's
(05:15):
like, going through my ownpersonal calendar, and I'm like,
Oh yeah, I went to Guatemala inApril, and I had this great
Yellowstone Grand Tetons trip,and went to, went to Cancun or
not didn't. It wasn't Cancun, itwas Cabo San Lucas. Like, I
always get their opposite sidesof Mexico. I get them, I get
them confused, because they'reboth C words, but they're not
(05:37):
hairy, C words, some of you willfind that funny, but it's like,
oh yeah, I had these greatevents. And the thing is, is not
everything that happened to youis going to be in your calendar,
but it's going to jar yourmemory, because when I was going
through those trips, I alsoremember like, Oh yeah, right
after that Guatemala trip, I wasreally sick. I had a crazy
(05:58):
stomach bug for an entire weekwhere I was basically just
staying at home and staying onthe toilet, if you know what I
mean, yeah, the old fashionedHershey squared. So get you
every every time I'm tellingyou. So you know it's like, Oh
yeah, and then Oh right. A weekbefore I went to the Cabo trip,
I was also like, horribly,horribly ill, like a fever, a
headache, like I wasn't moving.
(06:21):
And there was another periodwhere it was after the Grand
Tetons, the Yellowstone trip, Ithink that one, I don't know
there was another where I wasout for a week. So I had, like,
three weeks of the year where Iwas horribly, horribly sick.
It's like, oh, and still, withall of that, like, I had my new
energy practice, the life energyactivation process that I
(06:43):
started to get out to people,and I did multiple events with
that taught lots of people. Ihad the audio cues, audio
created, and people are lovingit. I got so many amazing
testimonials of how it impactsthem, how they feel calm, how
they feel grounded, and just howit makes them just feel great
for even just a few minutes at atime. And I know many of these
(07:03):
people and gotten to see, like,the shifts that have happened in
their life. And so I, you know,I see the, you know, these
challenges, and then I see, oh,what I was still able to
overcome, and even the challengeof being sick, I kind of
recognize, like, oh, wait, Ihandled that differently than I
had in the past. Like I was ableto handle it by shifting my diet
(07:25):
and getting lots of rest insteadof just, Okay, well, let me just
medicate myself and powerthrough, you know, I was able to
actually, like, you know, carefor myself and let myself rest
and heal. So even seeing some ofthese times where it was, Oh, I
got, I got knocked down. Butreally it was, it was a learning
experience, and it was part ofmy growth and part of my my
(07:48):
amazing story for the year. Andso by, just by going through
your calendar and just kind oflike recognizing and I what I
like to do, and we're going tobe tying this in with how going
through this is very key to theone of the most favorite
episodes is episode 35 and wetalked about it on episode 100
and can't believe that that was,you know, that that's not the
(08:11):
only 100 episode celebrationthat I've had to have, because I
just just remembered this year Icelebrated 200 episodes of doing
this show that that that wasthis year. So, like, there's
another thing that I'm like, Ohmy gosh, I can't believe I've
been doing this, this podcast.
And, you know, we started justdoing just just doing on audio,
and then at some point, addedthe video and been on YouTube.
(08:34):
And thank you to those that dolike and subscribe on YouTube,
because it's been very, veryhappy with, you know, all the
interactions and Pete thingsthat have gotten to come through
the the YouTube following. Sodefinitely appreciate that. But,
you know, it's like, I like tosometimes put these things into
categories, and you can changethe categories based on what's
appropriate for you. But I like,you know, having things to do
(08:56):
with health and wellness. I liketo talk about trips and
adventures that I've had thingsto do with relationships, right?
Because a lot of times, manypeople, it's like, I could use
some, you know, more connectionsthat are of good quality and
beneficial. So it's like, whatwhat changed in the realm of
relationships? Did you maybeinto relationship? Because, you
know, one of the challenges Ihad was, you know, my sister
(09:19):
passed away, and so then startedto have a little bit more have a
little bit more contacts with myfather, and then got reminded
that, oh, to me, he's just not agood person for me to be around.
And it's like, love him. Hopehe's happy with the people he's
got in his life. And I'm verywant nothing but the best and
the happiness. But just likethat guy, the way he is, not for
me, grateful for all the stuffhe's done for me, yet I'm going
(09:41):
to do my own thing. He can dohis thing, and that's great. And
just and seeing how great thatthat can be for both of us, and
how that's resulted in me havingsome of the best experiences
with other people, or just bybeing with myself, I.
And, okay, so it's sorelationships is a very
(10:02):
important category that a lot ofpeople forget, you know, of
like, what was the nourishingtimes? Or what were the ways
that you deepen the relationshipwith yourself? Respect yourself
had some boundaries right then,maybe things to do with, like,
your home, your car, you know,or, I don't know, tangible
thing, because sometimes it'skind of like cool, like, I got
my got my dream car, or, Oh, hadall these issues with my home.
(10:25):
Like, it's funny, like, I lookat what happened with where I
live, and it's like, I've had amajor gas leak, I've had
electrical outages, I thinkprobably at least four times
this year. Currently, I'm havingsome heater issues. And it's
just like, Wow, is this stuff,stuff's going on. And it's like,
I had to be taken care of. Andlike, how is my business going?
Or how's your career? And then Ithink a really fun, important
(10:46):
one is like, what are the skillsand growth areas that that
you've gotten adventures, putfun stuff. Like, I like, I enjoy
movies. So I started, like,going and seeing, like, what
movies did I see this year? Andit's like, oh yeah. And it
reminded me all these good timesthat I had even going to see
these movies. Did I like everymovie I saw? No, but it was just
like, as an experience, gettingto be part of the part of
(11:07):
culture and things happening. Soeven just maybe, when I hear,
when you hear me talking aboutthose categories, you start to
think of things that have beenhappening for you in the past
year. And you know, some of themgood, some of them not so good,
yet you're starting to haveideas, and this is where it
becomes really important of whatlens you look at these through,
(11:29):
and it's important to look at itthrough the lens of self love,
like being a really, reallyloving person to yourself. Now
switch gears a little bit to howyou can basically love your year
by loving yourself and again. Itdoesn't really matter what year
(11:49):
you're talking about, if it'sthe past year or the upcoming
year, if you love yourself,you're going to love love all of
it and everything in between.
And I first learned this conceptfrom a book called Love yourself
like your life depends on it, byKamal Ravikant, so again, like
you know, shared a meditation inEpisode 35 definitely go check
it out. You know, was called theThe I love the guided I love
(12:12):
myself. Meditation. That's thename of the episode, if you want
to go try to find it. But inthis book, you know, as a, I
think he is like a SiliconValley Tech executive type guy
that was just miserable, and atsome point he's just like, I
gotta love myself, like, but mylife depends on it. Because he
started being like, I think I'vehad enough of of life, and it's
one of those that I can take ittotally relate. But to me, I'm
(12:35):
always just like, why should Ido more work, right? I feel like
I've done plenty of plenty ofhard work that just seems like
one more chore on the to dolist, which it's like, it's a
little light, but it is alsokind of true and heavy that,
like I was like shit, like Igot, got all these other things
to do, and I do ultimately enjoyliving my life and love myself
(12:56):
enough that I want to keep goingand have more more adventures.
And when I look back on my year,and there hasn't been a year I
haven't done this and lookedback, we're going Fuck What an
incredible year. I can't believeI thought I didn't do enough,
that I wasn't good enough, thatI was, you know, somehow less
than because I didn't do allthese other things. Because do
(13:17):
you recognize that? Yeah, youwant to, you want to scale Mount
Everest, whatever that is foryou. And maybe you didn't reach
Mount Everest, but if you lookand see the vertical feet
equivalent of what you've done,you've scaled Mount Everest,
maybe 234, times. Just a lot ofthat was you ended up in a deep
valley or a pit, and you had tocrawl yourself out of that. And,
(13:39):
you know, like, be like, but Ididn't make it. Everest, but you
know what? You'll learn how toget out of it. And you might and
then, yeah, if you're reallypaying attention, you've learned
how to avoid those pitfalls inthe future. And you've you've
made some headway. You've madesome headway toward getting to
your Mount Everest. And you'recomparing yourself to other
(13:59):
people that, yeah, they madethey might have made it, but
where did they start out, andwhat was their journey? And
because it's like again, if youjust take a helicopter to the
top of Mount Everest, I don'teven know if that's possible,
allowed, whatever, but thatain't what they write fucking
books about. I took a helicopterto Everest, tipped off, had a
had a selfie, a diet Cook, goton the helicopter and left. It
(14:21):
was beautiful. It was wonderful.
Hours like, you know, nobody'sread, making a movie about that,
writing a book about that,nobody's bragging. There's
probably people would brag aboutit, but that's these people you
want to know. I don't want toknow these people. The fact is
that the journey is a big partof it. And, you know, loving
(14:42):
yourself and the journey thatyou've had and loving yourself
to go, let's see how I can makethis journey even better. I've
had a good journey. I had somegood experiences. I'm gonna, I'm
gonna love myself to keep goingand find even more enjoyable
ways to go ahead. So. Sobasically, you know this Kamal
(15:03):
Ravikant discovers that like,Hey, I think if I don't love
myself, I'm not going to bealive anymore. And then that
was, that was his truth. But thetruth is that how you love
yourself really is going todictate the quality of the life
that you're going to have,because if you love yourself,
you're going to, you're goingto, more often than not, give
(15:25):
yourself a life that isenjoyable to live. If you don't,
you're going to give yourselfshit sandwiches, left, right,
up, down center. And it's one ofthe things I look back and
recognize all these harmful, youknow, self beliefs that I've had
about myself, and it's like thatexplains why things went, how
(15:46):
they went, and the more thatI've owned that, hey, I'm
worthwhile, I'm a lovableperson, the more that I've made
choices and set boundaries andthen made allowances for the
things that are helpful andnourishing and things have
shifted. Is it all happenovernight? No, does it get
(16:07):
better and better? Yes. Does itget easier? Yes. Does it get
filled with more amazing peopleas you go on? Yes, and so what
if how you love yourself is themost important thing in almost
anything just a month ago, aboutas within so without talking
(16:27):
about self sustainability, yourability to love yourself is a
really big important part ofyour self sustainability,
because that's going to fuelyou, energize you, give you the
lens to see things in a way thatare going to make it more
enjoyable and energizing tocontinue doing what it is you
want, and you're going tolovingly allow yourself to have
(16:49):
what you actually want in a waythat you can actually enjoy.
Because if you don't likeyourself and you get what you
want, there's no shortage ofways. And I've, done this so
many times. Of like, you know,it's like, oh, I got a best
selling novel or book. It's nota novel, but, yeah, best selling
book. And my ability to go like,Yeah, but it didn't sell as many
(17:12):
copies as I wanted it to. Andlike, oh, it's only in this one
category. And oh, I selfpublished with the hybrid
publisher. And so it's not like,if I got published and it wasn't
New York, like, there's allthese ways to shit on anything
amazing that we do yet. Whatgood does that do? What good
does that do? Like, again, maybeit makes you do a lot of things,
(17:37):
but if you're don't enjoy it,never will enjoy it. What's the
point? What is the point ofdoing all of these things, do
all the things, and you'remiserable, and you make everyone
around you miserable. What whocares? Who cares? Honestly, what
(17:58):
matters is, how much are youable to enjoy your experience
along the way that really kindof, is it and doing good things
and enjoying them. They can gotogether. They should go
together. They're supposed to gotogether. And so how can you
work on loving yourself a littlebit more? One is you can go and
(18:21):
check out that meditation fromEpisode 35 about the you know,
loving yourself. Meditation theothers is just as often as you
can, replacing whatever nonsenseyou're likely thinking about
with just the thought, I lovemyself. I love myself. Like, Oh,
that jerk. Just cut me off. I'mdriving. I love myself. What's
(18:43):
this bill? Oh, I love myself. Ilove myself. Oh, this broke
again. I love myself. Oh, no,it's raining. I love myself. And
just see how that starts toallow a little opening, a little
air, a little shift in yourlife, in your vision, and just
your whole way of being. And ifyou really want something really
(19:05):
challenging, something reallyadvanced, something incredibly
powerful that I don't recommend,I really don't recommend this to
most of you. Yet it is soincredibly powerful that if you
can do it, this is one of thosethings like you might want to
have a coach, a therapist, agood friend, a clergy person on
hand, because this can bring upa lot. So I'm going to advise
you to avoid this. Yet I'm goingto put this out there as
(19:28):
something to be aspirationaltowards, and that is saying I
love myself in the mirror, solook yourself in the mirror. Say
I love myself. I love you. Ilove and say your name again.
I'm not don't do this. Avoidthis. Definitely don't do this.
(19:48):
Start with just one minute, andthen each day, maybe add one
more minute, and then just onceyou get to 10 minutes a day, if
you just, if you can do that, 10minutes a day where you can look
yourself in the mirror.
One to 10 minutes, and they'llsay, I love myself. I love you.
I love you, man, you'rebeautiful. Just be with that.
(20:13):
Things are gonna shift in you,and boy, is your year gonna
shift. If you can, then thatperson can look at what you've
done in the past year, because,again, this really is about
doesn't matter what your parentswere like, what your siblings
were like, what your friendshave been like, what your
significant others have beenlike, as awful and as shitty, or
as good or as amazing. If youcan become the most amazing
(20:39):
parent, sibling lover, friend toyourself, and just wait and see
what comes at you. Just wait,look at look at what you did in
the past year, and then think ofhow what you want to happen the
next year, and just let themagic happen. So this is really
(21:01):
about you love yourself. Youlove your last year, and then
love your upcoming year evenmore. That's the space to start
dreaming, to start going, ooh,what could I enjoy? And just
allow yourself to just enjoy thevision, enjoy feeling what it
might be like for all thesethings, and recognize you have
(21:22):
so much now. You've had so much,you have so much, and that you
will continue to have even more,and just let it be. And that's
my gift to you. My wish for youthis holiday season this Yeah,
so just I love you. Thank youfor being a listener, and want
you to be able to love yourselfas much, as much as is possible.
(21:46):
So with that love to hear what'smaybe been something in the past
year that you're just like,fuck. Thank you so much. Justin
for asking that question. I'dforgotten that this happened,
and yeah, that was an incredibleyear this past year. So thank
you so much. I'd love to hearit. Sent me an email, put a
comment on the social media,whatever, and yeah, looking
(22:07):
forward to wishing you a HappyNew Year, whatever this might
be. So with that, thank you andgood day. Thanks for tuning in
to engineering emotions andenergy with Justin Wenck, PhD,
today's episode resonated withyou. Please subscribe and leave
a five star review. Yourfeedback not only supports the
show, but also helps others findus and start their journey of
(22:29):
emotional and energetic mastery.
You can also help by sharingthis podcast with someone you
think will love it just as muchas you do. Together, we're
engineering more amazing livesyou you.
How has your year been? Welcome to the show. I
(00:02):
really do want to know, how hasthe past year of your life been,
and I'm guessing, no matter howgood or bad you think it's been,
it's actually been even betterthan you actually remember. And
that's why, on today's episode,we're going to be going over why
it's so important that youactually recognize how great of
(00:23):
a year you actually had. Becauseif you're not owning that and
seeing that and utilizing that,you're basically saying, I want
to have a way more challengingyear than I need to. And there's
no reason for that. So if youwant to have the easiest, most
incredible, most enjoyable yearthat you've had so far in your
(00:45):
life. You're not going to wantto miss this episode. Are you
ready to live a life with enoughtime, money and energy have
relationships and connectionsthat delight you? Are you ready
for the extraordinary life youknow you've been missing. If so,
then this is the place for you.
I'm a best selling author,coach, consultant and speaker
(01:08):
who's worked in technology forover two decades. I'm a leader
at transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
Justin Wenck, PhD, so what do Imean by like you probably had a
(01:32):
much better year than yourecognize? Well, this is going
to be a real key to loving youryear, loving yourself and loving
what's coming up before you. Sothis is something that I've been
practicing for a very long time,and I'm also going to tie it in
with one of the most populartopics that I've ever covered on
(01:53):
this show. And I think you'regoing to see how simple yet how
powerful it is in making youhave the life that you actually
want to have, instead of justhaving the life that you seem to
get, whether you want it or not,because you want the wildlife
you want, right? Not just thelife you got. If you're happy
with the life you got, then whyare you listening to this? I
(02:16):
would love, yeah, let me know.
I'd love to hear why you'relistening to this. If you're
like, I just just like my, likemy beautiful face, or my the
sound of my my voice. Anyway,what we're talking about is,
first off, have you actuallylooked back at what happened in
the past year? Because I'mrecording this before the before
(02:38):
2025 is over. It's going to comeout just right before Christmas.
So many of you might belistening to this, you know,
leading into the new year, yet,whether you're listening to this
at that time, or maybe sometimein the middle of the year,
whenever you listen to this,it's always a good time to look
back on what's been going on,and especially at the end of the
year, because when you actuallylook back at what has happened,
(03:02):
you're going to realize thatyou've probably accomplished and
experienced a whole lot morethan you've allowed yourself to
remember. And you're also goingto recognize that it wasn't all
smooth sailing, that you mighthave had some issues, some
challenges, and despite allthat, you still had the
experiences and the triumphs andthe great experiences and loves
(03:23):
and connections that that youultimately ended up having
again. This doesn't mean thatthe year was easy and that
everything went your way. Therecould have been all sorts of
horrible things, yet what I'marguing is it was better than
you likely remember. So how doyou actually remember all this?
And so for many people, the thisis going to be simple. For
(03:47):
others of you, this mightrequire, you know, maybe
adopting one new, simple, butalso helpful habit, and that
habit, or that thing that isgoing to be really easy, is to
go and just review yourcalendar. So if you're like me
and many other people, and youkeep a calendar, I use Google
Calendar. However you keep acalendar, maybe it's the old
(04:08):
school paper calendar. Was itFranklin Covey or whoever,
whoever it was, but basically,whatever way that you were able
to make sure that you showed upfor appointments, showed up for
meetings, showed up for theairport and showed up for dates
and gatherings and whatnot.
Like, that's basically most ofwhat happened in the past year,
(04:28):
right? So I, I've done thisevery year for, I don't know,
well, over a decade. Like,originally it was something I
had to do as part of working,you know, at a corporate job
where every year they're like,Well, you got it. We got to do
self assessment time. Andbasically they have you, they
had me, they had all of us,where I, you know, worked for,
(04:51):
you know, 10 years initially, atmy first company is you rewrite
your own self assessment andthen they. Basically, you go
through it with your manager,and he kind of goes, okay, yeah,
that's what you did. And here'swhat I think about it. But it's
like, Wait, what did I do? Andso I would go through my
calendar and it's like, oh yeah,I worked on that project, or oh
yeah, I went on that trip. Andit's like, you know? So it's
(05:15):
like, going through my ownpersonal calendar, and I'm like,
Oh yeah, I went to Guatemala inApril, and I had this great
Yellowstone Grand Tetons trip,and went to, went to Cancun or
not didn't. It wasn't Cancun, itwas Cabo San Lucas. Like, I
always get their opposite sidesof Mexico. I get them, I get
them confused, because they'reboth C words, but they're not
(05:37):
hairy, C words, some of you willfind that funny, but it's like,
oh yeah, I had these greatevents. And the thing is, is not
everything that happened to youis going to be in your calendar,
but it's going to jar yourmemory, because when I was going
through those trips, I alsoremember like, Oh yeah, right
after that Guatemala trip, I wasreally sick. I had a crazy
(05:58):
stomach bug for an entire weekwhere I was basically just
staying at home and staying onthe toilet, if you know what I
mean, yeah, the old fashionedHershey squared. So get you
every every time I'm tellingyou. So you know it's like, Oh
yeah, and then Oh right. A weekbefore I went to the Cabo trip,
I was also like, horribly,horribly ill, like a fever, a
headache, like I wasn't moving.
(06:21):
And there was another periodwhere it was after the Grand
Tetons, the Yellowstone trip, Ithink that one, I don't know
there was another where I wasout for a week. So I had, like,
three weeks of the year where Iwas horribly, horribly sick.
It's like, oh, and still, withall of that, like, I had my new
energy practice, the life energyactivation process that I
(06:43):
started to get out to people,and I did multiple events with
that taught lots of people. Ihad the audio cues, audio
created, and people are lovingit. I got so many amazing
testimonials of how it impactsthem, how they feel calm, how
they feel grounded, and just howit makes them just feel great
for even just a few minutes at atime. And I know many of these
(07:03):
people and gotten to see, like,the shifts that have happened in
their life. And so I, you know,I see the, you know, these
challenges, and then I see, oh,what I was still able to
overcome, and even the challengeof being sick, I kind of
recognize, like, oh, wait, Ihandled that differently than I
had in the past. Like I was ableto handle it by shifting my diet
(07:25):
and getting lots of rest insteadof just, Okay, well, let me just
medicate myself and powerthrough, you know, I was able to
actually, like, you know, carefor myself and let myself rest
and heal. So even seeing some ofthese times where it was, Oh, I
got, I got knocked down. Butreally it was, it was a learning
experience, and it was part ofmy growth and part of my my
(07:48):
amazing story for the year. Andso by, just by going through
your calendar and just kind oflike recognizing and I what I
like to do, and we're going tobe tying this in with how going
through this is very key to theone of the most favorite
episodes is episode 35 and wetalked about it on episode 100
and can't believe that that was,you know, that that's not the
(08:11):
only 100 episode celebrationthat I've had to have, because I
just just remembered this year Icelebrated 200 episodes of doing
this show that that that wasthis year. So, like, there's
another thing that I'm like, Ohmy gosh, I can't believe I've
been doing this, this podcast.
And, you know, we started justdoing just just doing on audio,
and then at some point, addedthe video and been on YouTube.
(08:34):
And thank you to those that dolike and subscribe on YouTube,
because it's been very, veryhappy with, you know, all the
interactions and Pete thingsthat have gotten to come through
the the YouTube following. Sodefinitely appreciate that. But,
you know, it's like, I like tosometimes put these things into
categories, and you can changethe categories based on what's
appropriate for you. But I like,you know, having things to do
(08:56):
with health and wellness. I liketo talk about trips and
adventures that I've had thingsto do with relationships, right?
Because a lot of times, manypeople, it's like, I could use
some, you know, more connectionsthat are of good quality and
beneficial. So it's like, whatwhat changed in the realm of
relationships? Did you maybeinto relationship? Because, you
know, one of the challenges Ihad was, you know, my sister
(09:19):
passed away, and so then startedto have a little bit more have a
little bit more contacts with myfather, and then got reminded
that, oh, to me, he's just not agood person for me to be around.
And it's like, love him. Hopehe's happy with the people he's
got in his life. And I'm verywant nothing but the best and
the happiness. But just likethat guy, the way he is, not for
me, grateful for all the stuffhe's done for me, yet I'm going
(09:41):
to do my own thing. He can dohis thing, and that's great. And
just and seeing how great thatthat can be for both of us, and
how that's resulted in me havingsome of the best experiences
with other people, or just bybeing with myself, I.
And, okay, so it's sorelationships is a very
(10:02):
important category that a lot ofpeople forget, you know, of
like, what was the nourishingtimes? Or what were the ways
that you deepen the relationshipwith yourself? Respect yourself
had some boundaries right then,maybe things to do with, like,
your home, your car, you know,or, I don't know, tangible
thing, because sometimes it'skind of like cool, like, I got
my got my dream car, or, Oh, hadall these issues with my home.
(10:25):
Like, it's funny, like, I lookat what happened with where I
live, and it's like, I've had amajor gas leak, I've had
electrical outages, I thinkprobably at least four times
this year. Currently, I'm havingsome heater issues. And it's
just like, Wow, is this stuff,stuff's going on. And it's like,
I had to be taken care of. Andlike, how is my business going?
Or how's your career? And then Ithink a really fun, important
(10:46):
one is like, what are the skillsand growth areas that that
you've gotten adventures, putfun stuff. Like, I like, I enjoy
movies. So I started, like,going and seeing, like, what
movies did I see this year? Andit's like, oh yeah. And it
reminded me all these good timesthat I had even going to see
these movies. Did I like everymovie I saw? No, but it was just
like, as an experience, gettingto be part of the part of
(11:07):
culture and things happening. Soeven just maybe, when I hear,
when you hear me talking aboutthose categories, you start to
think of things that have beenhappening for you in the past
year. And you know, some of themgood, some of them not so good,
yet you're starting to haveideas, and this is where it
becomes really important of whatlens you look at these through,
(11:29):
and it's important to look at itthrough the lens of self love,
like being a really, reallyloving person to yourself. Now
switch gears a little bit to howyou can basically love your year
by loving yourself and again. Itdoesn't really matter what year
(11:49):
you're talking about, if it'sthe past year or the upcoming
year, if you love yourself,you're going to love love all of
it and everything in between.
And I first learned this conceptfrom a book called Love yourself
like your life depends on it, byKamal Ravikant, so again, like
you know, shared a meditation inEpisode 35 definitely go check
it out. You know, was called theThe I love the guided I love
(12:12):
myself. Meditation. That's thename of the episode, if you want
to go try to find it. But inthis book, you know, as a, I
think he is like a SiliconValley Tech executive type guy
that was just miserable, and atsome point he's just like, I
gotta love myself, like, but mylife depends on it. Because he
started being like, I think I'vehad enough of of life, and it's
one of those that I can take ittotally relate. But to me, I'm
(12:35):
always just like, why should Ido more work, right? I feel like
I've done plenty of plenty ofhard work that just seems like
one more chore on the to dolist, which it's like, it's a
little light, but it is alsokind of true and heavy that,
like I was like shit, like Igot, got all these other things
to do, and I do ultimately enjoyliving my life and love myself
(12:56):
enough that I want to keep goingand have more more adventures.
And when I look back on my year,and there hasn't been a year I
haven't done this and lookedback, we're going Fuck What an
incredible year. I can't believeI thought I didn't do enough,
that I wasn't good enough, thatI was, you know, somehow less
than because I didn't do allthese other things. Because do
(13:17):
you recognize that? Yeah, youwant to, you want to scale Mount
Everest, whatever that is foryou. And maybe you didn't reach
Mount Everest, but if you lookand see the vertical feet
equivalent of what you've done,you've scaled Mount Everest,
maybe 234, times. Just a lot ofthat was you ended up in a deep
valley or a pit, and you had tocrawl yourself out of that. And,
(13:39):
you know, like, be like, but Ididn't make it. Everest, but you
know what? You'll learn how toget out of it. And you might and
then, yeah, if you're reallypaying attention, you've learned
how to avoid those pitfalls inthe future. And you've you've
made some headway. You've madesome headway toward getting to
your Mount Everest. And you'recomparing yourself to other
(13:59):
people that, yeah, they madethey might have made it, but
where did they start out, andwhat was their journey? And
because it's like again, if youjust take a helicopter to the
top of Mount Everest, I don'teven know if that's possible,
allowed, whatever, but thatain't what they write fucking
books about. I took a helicopterto Everest, tipped off, had a
had a selfie, a diet Cook, goton the helicopter and left. It
(14:21):
was beautiful. It was wonderful.
Hours like, you know, nobody'sread, making a movie about that,
writing a book about that,nobody's bragging. There's
probably people would brag aboutit, but that's these people you
want to know. I don't want toknow these people. The fact is
that the journey is a big partof it. And, you know, loving
(14:42):
yourself and the journey thatyou've had and loving yourself
to go, let's see how I can makethis journey even better. I've
had a good journey. I had somegood experiences. I'm gonna, I'm
gonna love myself to keep goingand find even more enjoyable
ways to go ahead. So. Sobasically, you know this Kamal
(15:03):
Ravikant discovers that like,Hey, I think if I don't love
myself, I'm not going to bealive anymore. And then that
was, that was his truth. But thetruth is that how you love
yourself really is going todictate the quality of the life
that you're going to have,because if you love yourself,
you're going to, you're goingto, more often than not, give
(15:25):
yourself a life that isenjoyable to live. If you don't,
you're going to give yourselfshit sandwiches, left, right,
up, down center. And it's one ofthe things I look back and
recognize all these harmful, youknow, self beliefs that I've had
about myself, and it's like thatexplains why things went, how
(15:46):
they went, and the more thatI've owned that, hey, I'm
worthwhile, I'm a lovableperson, the more that I've made
choices and set boundaries andthen made allowances for the
things that are helpful andnourishing and things have
shifted. Is it all happenovernight? No, does it get
(16:07):
better and better? Yes. Does itget easier? Yes. Does it get
filled with more amazing peopleas you go on? Yes, and so what
if how you love yourself is themost important thing in almost
anything just a month ago, aboutas within so without talking
(16:27):
about self sustainability, yourability to love yourself is a
really big important part ofyour self sustainability,
because that's going to fuelyou, energize you, give you the
lens to see things in a way thatare going to make it more
enjoyable and energizing tocontinue doing what it is you
want, and you're going tolovingly allow yourself to have
(16:49):
what you actually want in a waythat you can actually enjoy.
Because if you don't likeyourself and you get what you
want, there's no shortage ofways. And I've, done this so
many times. Of like, you know,it's like, oh, I got a best
selling novel or book. It's nota novel, but, yeah, best selling
book. And my ability to go like,Yeah, but it didn't sell as many
(17:12):
copies as I wanted it to. Andlike, oh, it's only in this one
category. And oh, I selfpublished with the hybrid
publisher. And so it's not like,if I got published and it wasn't
New York, like, there's allthese ways to shit on anything
amazing that we do yet. Whatgood does that do? What good
does that do? Like, again, maybeit makes you do a lot of things,
(17:37):
but if you're don't enjoy it,never will enjoy it. What's the
point? What is the point ofdoing all of these things, do
all the things, and you'remiserable, and you make everyone
around you miserable. What whocares? Who cares? Honestly, what
(17:58):
matters is, how much are youable to enjoy your experience
along the way that really kindof, is it and doing good things
and enjoying them. They can gotogether. They should go
together. They're supposed to gotogether. And so how can you
work on loving yourself a littlebit more? One is you can go and
(18:21):
check out that meditation fromEpisode 35 about the you know,
loving yourself. Meditation theothers is just as often as you
can, replacing whatever nonsenseyou're likely thinking about
with just the thought, I lovemyself. I love myself. Like, Oh,
that jerk. Just cut me off. I'mdriving. I love myself. What's
(18:43):
this bill? Oh, I love myself. Ilove myself. Oh, this broke
again. I love myself. Oh, no,it's raining. I love myself. And
just see how that starts toallow a little opening, a little
air, a little shift in yourlife, in your vision, and just
your whole way of being. And ifyou really want something really
(19:05):
challenging, something reallyadvanced, something incredibly
powerful that I don't recommend,I really don't recommend this to
most of you. Yet it is soincredibly powerful that if you
can do it, this is one of thosethings like you might want to
have a coach, a therapist, agood friend, a clergy person on
hand, because this can bring upa lot. So I'm going to advise
you to avoid this. Yet I'm goingto put this out there as
(19:28):
something to be aspirationaltowards, and that is saying I
love myself in the mirror, solook yourself in the mirror. Say
I love myself. I love you. Ilove and say your name again.
I'm not don't do this. Avoidthis. Definitely don't do this.
(19:48):
Start with just one minute, andthen each day, maybe add one
more minute, and then just onceyou get to 10 minutes a day, if
you just, if you can do that, 10minutes a day where you can look
yourself in the mirror.
One to 10 minutes, and they'llsay, I love myself. I love you.
I love you, man, you'rebeautiful. Just be with that.
(20:13):
Things are gonna shift in you,and boy, is your year gonna
shift. If you can, then thatperson can look at what you've
done in the past year, because,again, this really is about
doesn't matter what your parentswere like, what your siblings
were like, what your friendshave been like, what your
significant others have beenlike, as awful and as shitty, or
as good or as amazing. If youcan become the most amazing
(20:39):
parent, sibling lover, friend toyourself, and just wait and see
what comes at you. Just wait,look at look at what you did in
the past year, and then think ofhow what you want to happen the
next year, and just let themagic happen. So this is really
(21:01):
about you love yourself. Youlove your last year, and then
love your upcoming year evenmore. That's the space to start
dreaming, to start going, ooh,what could I enjoy? And just
allow yourself to just enjoy thevision, enjoy feeling what it
might be like for all thesethings, and recognize you have
(21:22):
so much now. You've had so much,you have so much, and that you
will continue to have even more,and just let it be. And that's
my gift to you. My wish for youthis holiday season this Yeah,
so just I love you. Thank youfor being a listener, and want
you to be able to love yourselfas much, as much as is possible.
(21:46):
So with that love to hear what'smaybe been something in the past
year that you're just like,fuck. Thank you so much. Justin
for asking that question. I'dforgotten that this happened,
and yeah, that was an incredibleyear this past year. So thank
you so much. I'd love to hearit. Sent me an email, put a
comment on the social media,whatever, and yeah, looking
(22:07):
forward to wishing you a HappyNew Year, whatever this might
be. So with that, thank you andgood day. Thanks for tuning in
to engineering emotions andenergy with Justin Wenck, PhD,
today's episode resonated withyou. Please subscribe and leave
a five star review. Yourfeedback not only supports the
show, but also helps others findus and start their journey of
(22:29):
emotional and energetic mastery.
You can also help by sharingthis podcast with someone you
think will love it just as muchas you do. Together, we're
engineering more amazing livesyou you.
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