Failing Motherhood

Failing Motherhood

If you're riddled with mom guilt, your temper scares you, you're terrified you're screwing up your kids and are afraid to admit any of those things out loud....this podcast is for you. Hosted by Danielle Bettmann, parent coach with Wholeheartedly, each episode is a storytelling interview about one mom's raw and honest experience of growth that leads to new perspectives and practical strategies. Each week we will normalize the struggle, share vulnerably about our insecurities, and rally around small wins and truths. We hope to convince you you're not alone and YOU are the mom your kids need. Interviews with experts that have brilliant insight to share will be sprinkled among interviews with moms just like you. We hope you see yourself, hear your story, and find hope and healing. Welcome to Failing Motherhood. You belong here!

Episodes

July 27, 2021 41 min

Parenting comes down to 2 things: your mental health and your parent-child relationship.  Mental health in motherhood takes a beating.  Isolation and shame is a breeding ground for mental health disorders. 

Dr. Phillippa (Pip) Houghton is a family doctor on Vancouver Island, BC with a special interest in perinatal mental health. She is a mama to two boys and passionate about normalizing the motherhood experience, the good, the hard...

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It's time for a heart-to-heart.  A little storytime.

I'm going off the script and into some real vulnerability in hopes you can relate even a little.

Bottomline-
This is not how it's supposed to be.
This is not what we signed up for.
It's not getting easier.
What do we do about it?

If you're feeling ALL THE HARD lately and need to come up for air...
...hang on through all my rambling and know you're not alone.

Next...

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I am joined once again by Laura Pryor, LIMHP, LPC, PLADC  /  EMDR Level I & II Trained Clinician  /  Brainspotting Therapist  /  Lovely human  /  Conscious parent.

She graciously breaks down the intricacies of the brain science involved with emotional responses, how to best help our kids with emotions, and her thoughts on using time out.

We also talk for a bit about taking shame out of parenting, why it's SO HARD to stay calm...

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My bestie, my better half, my husband Bryce, lets me pick his brain on all things parenting!

He reflects on his upbringing, shares his struggles + confusion of parenting a strong-willed child through the toddler phase, and shares his own insecurities.

Most importantly, he shares the lessons and perspective he learned from his time in inpatient treatment for alcoholism, and how it translated to his parenting, ultimately making his...

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June 1, 2021 24 min

When summer hits, parents can feel equally excited AND anxious.  Change is destabilizing and all the added time together and at home can feel a bit intimidating.

Today I'm sharing 5 essential steps to ensuring your sanity this summer:
#1- Expect adversity.
#2- Game face on.
#3- Put them in control.
#4- Ambiguity is the enemy.
#5- Encourage independent play.

NOW is the time to course-correct the effects of the pandemic on your family&#...

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May 18, 2021 55 min

What even IS "self-care"?

Justine Sones is a mom, writer, + stress-management coach helping burnt-out humans set boundaries. Together we lament over all things unexpected in the motherhood & parenting realm, as well as diving into Justine's reckoning with "self-care".

She shares her "loving mental breakdown of 2018", painting the picture of how a retreat can be a necessary first step to healing.

You...

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April 27, 2021 20 min

STRONG-WILLED KIDS:

  • Everything is the worst thing to ever have happened to them.
  • They're tender-hearted + cold-hearted in the same 30 seconds.
  • Raising them is HARD AF.
  • If you have one... you know.
    Today I'm breaking down the perspective shifts & approaches you need to take them from your greatest adversary to your biggest fan.

    Was this episode helpful?
    then...

    //SCHEDULE YOURS//
    FREE 30 MIN SANITY & SOLUTIONS SESSION-
    htt...

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    After her divorce, Sara Olsher found herself asking... "Is two too young to see a therapist?"

    Her daughter had developed quite severe anxiety and they were both in survival mode for years.

    Then...when her daughter was 6, Sara was diagnosed with breast cancer.  And all she could think about was her daughter's tearful face at her funeral.

    HOW could she get through such chaotic, exhausting rounds of survival mode while helpin...

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    "I was very much afraid the maternal instinct had skipped over me."

    Have you ever feel this way?  Under the impression all this wisdom just *kicks* in and waiting for it like.... when, exactly?

    Especially if you struggle with perfectionism and wanting control, motherhood is a wake-up call and call for surrender.

    Brittany Bergman collected all her thoughts as she became a first-time mom throughout her pregnancy, then shared he...

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    March 16, 2021 29 min

    So, you're minding your own business, parenting like you do, and you come across some positive parenting philosophies and think, YEAH- that sounds like what I want to do!

    So, you learn more about it and start to realize... this makes sense!  This must be why I felt like something was missing for me growing up!

    And then you learn enough to realize you're doing *everything* wrong and feel like WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME ALL...

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    March 2, 2021 57 min

    If you've ever wondered what it'd be like to be raising a toddler as a single mom, as an active duty Army Lieutenant Colonel, stationed abroad in Germany during COVID lockdown.... you're about to find out.

    Claudia has served for over 17 years, including 4 combat deployments and 10 years on jump status as a paratrooper.

    Now she makes war plans by day and talks shapes and colors by night.

    We talk about working mom guilt, hir...

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    February 16, 2021 18 min

    SOLO episode alert!  I wanted to revisit & break down my most popular Instagram post from 2020 -

    "When I'm spinning out because I can't control another person, it means I have work to do.  It's a ME problem."

    It might be hard to hear but if you're looking for ways to extend your patience, you won't want to miss this episode!

    WHY do we get so flustered and lose our cool?
    What is within our power to contr...

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    February 2, 2021 51 min

    Dr. Nicole Byers is a neuropsychologist helping women overcome the mental barriers that leave them stuck in self-doubt so they can stop worrying what everyone else is thinking, build the confidence to speak up, and have the courage to go after their goals.

    Along with sharing her personal struggles of working mom guilt (feeling like a dad), Dr. Nicole shares valuable insights into the mind-body connection, the way our brains learn (a...

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    January 19, 2021 59 min

    Janice Scholl perfectly depicts the rollercoaster of coming into motherhood well-prepared, feeling like you're failing at the most important thing you've ever done while questioning yourself and your sanity. 

    Oh, and apparently the formula her daughter needed cost more than their mortgage.

    This episode covers the work-life balance (tug-of-war), trusting your mom "gut" even as a first-time mom, a crisis of career, ove...

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    January 5, 2021 30 min

    Amelia Mora Mars is a mom to six daughters and four sons, a psychotherapist, and founder of MomConnections where she coaches women raised by emotionally unavailable mothers. She empowers women to break the cycle, heal their hearts, and reclaim their lives. As a mom, she too had to learn to overcome these wounds caused by her own mother. Through her personal journey, she was able to forgive her mom and change the way she mothered he...

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    TW: heart-wrenching examples of hardship, abuse & injustice
    Jamie Grogan's story needs to be heard. 

    Talk about vulnerability... Jamie willingly recounts her fight for her own life and for custody of her girls.   She openly & honestly speaks to the despair & desperation she lived through & what got her through.

    Her daughters are now 24 & 26, she's gone through incredible work to heal, and she wants you to ...

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    November 24, 2020 47 min

    International adoption.  Big T versus little t trauma.  Self-Compassion.  Healthy Boundaries.

    Melissa Corkum has the parenting certifications and life experiences to back up the wisdom she shares in this episode.  Not only does she give us a vulnerable peek into her most chaotic & tumultuous years of adoptions in her family, but she shares the biggest lessons she needed to learn as she came alongside her kids.

    We discuss how the ...

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    November 10, 2020 74 min

    Buckle up.  You're in for a treat.

    In this episode, Leanna Lee graciously & vulnerably shares her experience of becoming a birth mother, placing her beautiful so-loved daughter in an open adoption.

    She speaks to her struggle with mental health throughout her life and the steps she's taken to managing it these past few years.

    Since starting her own business as a freelance content marketing writer, she advocates for postpart...

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    October 20, 2020 64 min

    AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?  I have SO much to learn.

    Sarah Saldi is knee deep in doing all.the.things. to figure out how to parent her littles differently than she was raised & be on the same page with her husband.

    "I really want to work to make sure they feel supported and that it's okay to mess up and not get things right and that we're really genuine in our home. And that's not always pretty and it's not always...

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    October 15, 2020 12 min

    #reasonswhywe'refailing - Thursday episodes dive deep into one reason why we feel like we're failing & what we can do about it!

    In this short, to-the-point episode, I share with you . . .
    5 reasons why parenting (or motherhood for that matter) does NOT come naturally.
    We should NOT expect to know how to do it.

    I also share 3 things you can do about it TODAY.

    LET'S DO THIS.

    I believe in you & I'm cheering you on.
    Co...

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