Are the words you're speaking holding you back from the life God wants for you?
In this episode, we explore the life-changing power of language and how your words—both spoken and unspoken—shape your mindset, relationships, and future.
"We don't often realize it—but what we say about ourselves shapes how we live. This episode is your reminder that you hold the power, through God's truth, to rewrite your story starting with your words."
Through biblical truth, mindset science, and real-life examples, Kristin shares how the words you speak over yourself can either align with God's promises or reinforce doubt and fear. You'll learn practical tools to break free from negative self-talk, stop apologizing for who you are, and start speaking life into your purpose.
If you're ready to shift your language, renew your mind, and create a new narrative rooted in truth, this episode will equip you to speak words that align with God’s calling and transform your life from the inside out.
Takeaways:
- Your words hold creative power—both spiritually and neurologically.
- Negative self-talk acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy; breaking that cycle starts with awareness.
- Excessive apologizing may reveal deeper self-worth struggles that God wants to heal.
- Biblical truth provides a foundation to replace lies with life-giving language.
- Mindfulness in daily conversations builds stronger relationships and healthier emotional patterns.
- Speaking life over your calling brings you into deeper alignment with God’s purpose.
If you’re ready to trade inner criticism for clarity, and overwhelm for lasting peace, this episode is for you. And if you'd like to jump start shifting your thoughts and experiencing more joy go grab my free Rewire Your Mind Guide to help you get started. Rewire Your Mind Guide
Download My Free Joyful Living Devotional: https://kristinfitch.com/devotional
Ready to take your first step towards a more joyful, faith-filled life? Download our Reignite Your Passion Workbook and start living with purpose today!
What to feel more energized in midlife? Grab my 5 Day Energy Reset Jump Start Guide here.
Ready to work with Kristin to make a shift in your life? Click here to get started.
faith-filled words, power of words, speaking life, breaking negative self-talk, Christian mindset shift, faith and language, biblical affirmations, renewing your mind, Christian personal development, emotional healing for Christian women, confidence and self-worth, overcoming negativity, mindset and faith coaching, personal growth for Christian women, Christian women in midlife, stop people-pleasing, overcome self-doubt, speak God’s truth over your life, change your words, change your life
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, beautiful friends, andwelcome back to Faith Filled Woman.
This is your host, Kristin.
Hey there.
Today we are going to talkabout why our words matter so much.
And we're going to talk aboutwhy is that the starting point to
change anything in our lifethat's just not going the way we
want?
We're going to talk about howour words have such power not only
(00:21):
over ourselves, they havepower over how we're feeling, how
we look.
They have power over otherpeople in our relationships.
And so this really is centralto so many things.
And yes, I've talked about thepower of our words, the power of
our thoughts before.
I absolutely just recentlyreleased a episode about negative
(00:42):
thoughts.
But today I want to talkfurther about our words.
And not so much about negativethoughts, but about those little
small words that we don't evenrealize we're using and how changing
them can make a hugedifference in our life.
First, I want to start offwith a little bit from the book,
please.
Sorry, thanks.
By Mark Batterson.
(01:03):
And before I do, though, Iwill just share this scripture with
you.
In John 1:1, it says in thebeginning was the word, right?
In the beginning of the Bible,God literally creates the world through
the Word.
Okay?
And so anyway, so MarkPatterson in his book so says that
(01:23):
abracadabra is the mostuniversally used word that doesn't
need translation.
And yes, it's used bymagicians, but he says the etymology
is more spiritual than magical.
The ancient words abracadabramean, as I speak, I shall create.
In other words, words create worlds.
(01:44):
Words, said the Jewishtheologian Abraham Heischel, are
themselves sacred, God's toolfor creating the universe and are
tools for bringing holiness orevil into the world.
So see, friends, words havealways mattered and what we speak
(02:04):
matters.
It truly has power in the world.
And so I thought this wasreally interesting.
He shares a little bit of dataand says that the University of Chicago,
when they went throughthousands of counseling sessions,
what they found was that somepeople had success in their counseling
sessions and sustained changeand others didn't.
(02:25):
The main factor wasn't thetherapist or the technique.
The main difference or factorwas in how the people getting counseled,
talked and other words.
He says, if you want to changeyour life, you have to change your
words.
And then I'm going to sharethis little excerpt with you from
his book.
(02:46):
Our words don't represent theworld objectively.
Rather, our words create theworld subjectively.
For better or for worse.
Our words can function as selffulfilling prophecies.
They have the power to blessor to curse, to heal or to hurt,
to give life or to cause death.
Scientific studies have foundthat negative words spoken to plants
cause them to languish, whilepositive words help them flourish.
(03:09):
It's as true of people as itis of plants.
And he says that Solomon saidthe tongue has the power of life
and death.
And one other thing I want toshare with what he says.
He says, it says in the Bible,out of the overflow of the heart,
Jesus said, the mouth speaks.
Words are like x rays, butthey do more than reveal the condition
(03:31):
of our hearts.
Our words are both diagnosisand a prognosis.
And then he says, if you wantto change your relationships, you
have to change your words.
And then he talks a little bitabout what I want to talk about today.
He says, it feels like nomatter what you say, it's never enough
and it's always too much.
Or is that just me?
(03:51):
You're damned if you do anddamned if you don't.
Positivity is one of mystrengths, but I recently found myself
in a funk.
Here's a journal entry fromone of those down days when I felt
like I was emotionally flatlining.
Here's what he recorded.
I'm so spent, I'm so tired.
It feels like I'm running on empty.
I'm just not bouncing back.
My head is foggy, my heart is irritated.
(04:14):
Lord help me.
How many of us can relate tosome of those things?
Maybe on a daily basis, but weneed to really consider what it is
we're telling ourselves.
Both or not subconsciouslythat too, but what we're repeating
in our head and then whatwe're actually saying out loud as
well.
And he basically explainedthat he did some self examination
(04:37):
during that season.
One revelation was that I wasusing negative words with a high
degree of frequency.
And he said I was speakingnegativity into existence and giving
it power.
By emphasizing how hardleadership was during that season,
I was making it harder than ithad to be.
My words became selffulfilling prophecy that reinforced
a vicious cycle of negativity.
(04:58):
The same thing happens whenyou complain about people behind
their backs with a second revelation.
Want to change your dynamic?
You have to flip the script bycatching people doing things right,
then bragging about thembehind their backs.
If you want to change yourattitude, you have to change your
words.
Your words are Occam's razor.
Simple words can solveseemingly impossible problems.
(05:20):
And you know, here's what Iwant to say about this.
I have been so.
I have caught myself so manytimes doing just this, using words
or Using statements that don'tmatch what's actually going on.
In other words, I have foundout that over the years, sometimes
(05:42):
in the grocery store when I'mchecking out, I start apologizing
to the cashier, or if I'mwalking by somebody in the grocery
store, and I might say, excuseme, but sometimes I'll then say,
oh, sorry, and.
As if my taking up space is a problem.
And so that's something I haveto be aware of.
And I try to catch myselfbecause I don't have a reason to
(06:05):
apologize.
I didn't do anything wrong,but yet that comes.
It just comes out, right?
And so that, obviously issomething that I have to pay attention
to.
Another thing that happens isfor a lot of us, at some point, we
heard a message that told usthat we are too much, we're too loud,
or that we shouldn't take upso much space or say so much, we
(06:28):
shouldn't be as loud.
Or maybe as a little girl, weshould be polite and respectful and
kind and not be loud and boisterous.
You know, whatever messages wemight have heard subconsciously or
consciously.
But because of that, most ofus will carry some of that into adulthood
without realizing it.
And then we will do thingslike make ourselves seem smaller
(06:51):
or what we're doing.
I absolutely have done thisand still do this to some extent.
Let's say that I'm working ona new project, or when I launched
my podcast, you know, I'llsay, oh, I'm just doing this podcast,
or I'm just trying this thing,or I'm just doing this little event.
(07:14):
In other words, we kind ofdownplay and downsize the importance
of something.
We're trying to almost make itas if we don't say it's anything
big or.
Or it's not important to us,then it won't matter if it doesn't
have the outcome we want, right?
Or what about if we look atourselves in the mirror or try on
(07:37):
our clothes and think, oh, mygosh, I have so much extra weight.
Or maybe we even say toourselves, I am so fat, or I look
so old, or, you know, maybelook at all this flab right on your
arm or your leg.
But we aren't talking verynice to our bodies.
A lot of us, you know, thiscould be true for men and women,
(07:59):
of course, but from a woman'sperspective, we absolutely are so
critical of ourselves.
I actually saw something recently.
It was a woman travelphotographer or travel or adventure
photographer, and.
And she photographs women.
And she had shared after shehad done this trip with women, right?
(08:19):
She had taken women on these trips.
And.
But something happened.
She had a friend that passed,and so then she wanted to share with
her community that, you know,we have to stop being so critical
of ourselves as women especially.
And so I'm going to try topull that up and share with you a
little bit of what she said.
She explained that when herfriend passed, her significant other,
(08:42):
I think her husband said thatsome of the pictures that this travel
photographer took were some ofhis favorite photos of her.
Oh, my gosh, it's almost goingto make me get emotional.
Okay.
So she explained, though, thatthe photos captured her joy, her
true essence.
And she said, I hear it onevery group trip.
(09:02):
How should I pose?
What do I do with my hands?
I feel so awkward, you know?
Or people might say, oh, Ilook heavy.
Or, you know, I don't like howI look.
And she said, we often avoidthe camera.
We pick ourselves apart.
We're more comfortable behindthe lens and in front of it, especially
if we're alone.
And for.
First of all, let me tell youwho it is.
It's Max.
Explore is her Instagram handle.
(09:25):
But then she says, and I get it.
I've been there, too.
But now I don't see it thesame way anymore, because the photos
we take, especially the onesthat capture us as we really are,
he says, they become treasuresfor our families, for our children,
for ourselves.
So she said, if you hesitateto step in front of the camera, please
let this be a reminder.
(09:45):
You are beautiful.
You are worth remembering.
You don't need to be perfectto be cherished.
Let someone take your photo.
Another woman that I followand know is author Ali Worthington.
She's also a podcaster, sheruns a mentoring program, and lots
of things.
But she also shared somethingthat really ties back to the words
(10:07):
we use, but also us trying tonot take up space.
And the post was about why Idon't do low maintenance anymore.
And she explains that at onepoint, she thought low maintenance
was the way to be accepted.
She says, easygoing,undemanding, chill.
I thought it made me strong.
Turns out it just made me silent.
Somewhere along the way, shegot the sparkly, very toxic memo
(10:30):
that having needs equals beingtoo much.
She says.
So I quieted my voice,softened my edges, packed light emotionally,
didn't want to be a hassle.
But here's the truth.
Love that only works when youdisappear isn't love.
And boundaries aren't extra.
They're healthy.
So now I ask for clarity.
(10:51):
Bring snack and Opinions.
I travel with three serums andlots of boundaries and emotional
honesty.
Jesus never asked us to be doormats.
He asked us to live fully.
Heart, soul, mind and spirit.
That includes your needs, thatincludes your voice.
And oh yeah, both of thosethings did hit me, right?
Because this is exactly thetype of work that I am in the world
(11:14):
to help myself and each of youwith, which is, let's stop hiding,
let's stop, stop trying to notbe heard or seen.
Because at some point we weregiven that message.
And here's the thing, I thinkthe first thing we can do to remember
(11:36):
that our words matter.
And is this.
It's that we ask ourselves,how can I change the way I talk about
things or I talk about myself?
Because here's the truth.
We may not even know we'redoing it.
It was actually a cashier thatpointed out to me some years ago
(11:57):
that I was apologizing to him.
So what if you start noticingthe words you're using, the language
you're speaking to otherpeople about other people, about
your children, the languageyou're speaking about your spouse,
or the thoughts you're havingabout them, and then the language
and thought you're havingabout yourself, start writing them
(12:18):
down.
Keep a note on your phone andtype them in.
Catch yourself when you lookin the mirror, when your kid texts
you, when you're rushingaround, when your spouse makes you
slightly feeling irritated,like what, what is the, what are
the words that come up for you?
(12:38):
Write them down and then aftera couple days or a week, review it.
Notice what the patterns are.
Are you repeating.
Much like Mark Patterson wherehe was having a lot more down days
and then he noticed that hislanguage was quite negative.
And so two practices.
The one is what I just said,which is write down and then notice
(13:02):
the words you're using, right?
And then, and you can do somegroups for this, right?
Like words you're using todescribe or talk about yourself,
words you're using to describeand talk about other people or co
workers or friends, wordsyou're using to describe your spouse
if you're married, wordsyou're using to describe your life,
words you're using to describeyour children, words you're using
(13:25):
to describe maybe yourfinancial situation, words you're
using to describe your faith.
And then words you're using todescribe how you feel, right?
Your energy or a lack thereof,start paying attention.
So that's the first thing thatyou can do to start changing your
words so that you can changeyour life.
(13:47):
And here's the Thing is, I get it.
Some people think when we workon ourselves, that's about us.
That's not about God.
That's not about, like, howwe're showing up in the world to
do, to serve the world.
But I disagree.
Because God did not make us tobe to cower or to hide.
He actually made us to partnerwith him and show up standing tall
(14:12):
and with a purpose.
And we cannot do or fulfillthat full purpose unless we can really
step into who we are, who hemade us to be, fully and confidently
in faith.
Here's another thing.
I really liked this.
Someone talked about that it'seasy to say or name what we aren't.
(14:35):
But what if we practice sayingwhat or who we are?
In other words, it's easy tosay I'm not in shape, I'm not skinny
enough.
I'm, you know, whatever.
Like, you can fill in the brinks.
Like, it's really easy to saywhat we aren't today.
But what if we startedpracticing saying what or who we
(14:55):
are and who we're becoming,both in Christ and in our lives?
If your goal is to behealthier and maybe to be a little
bit, know, fit in your clothesbetter, stop telling yourself, I'm
so out of shape, I'm so fat,and start telling yourself, I am
working on getting healthy,you know, I am making changes to
(15:19):
be healthier.
Tell yourself I am strong, youknow, Tell yourself I am capable,
you know.
So start shifting those wordsand see how it changes how you feel
about yourself or about yourspouse or whatever the thing.
Fill in the blank.
And then from there, practicesaying what or who you are and who
(15:40):
you're becoming.
Because that's actually whatwe want to do, right?
We also want to see people notfor what they're doing at this moment,
but for who we see them becoming.
Because Christ wants us tospeak into people's lives.
He wants us to speak into whothey can become, especially when
we partner with Him.
So tell people when you seepotential in them, tell them, you
(16:05):
know, the good that you see.
And so I think when we startdoing this, we'll.
We'll realize everythingchanges when we change our words,
when we change what we'rethinking about.
And, you know, as I shared inthe last chapter, remember, our words
and our thoughts impact ourbody, right?
(16:25):
It's a holistic thing.
Mind and thoughts change.
What goes on in our bodieschanges what goes on in our lives.
It changes what goes on in ourcheckbooks, in our relationships.
It change.
It impacts everything.
So if I talk about this indifferent ways or in different areas.
It's because it matters, right?
(16:47):
And so I just wanted to comeon and share this because I think
it's so important.
And there's many Bible versesabout capturing our thoughts, right?
About focusing on the thingsthat are good, you know, and because
this work matters to me somuch because talking about these
(17:09):
things and trying to help usall shift, you know, shift our words,
shift our thoughts, shift howwe show up in life, how we rest,
how we step into ourinterests, our passions and our purpose.
I have two things to sharewith you.
The first is I will bereleasing for pre sale soon a group
(17:31):
program that I am going towalk alongside of you.
I'm going to guide you throughthe changes, to express yourself,
to reignite your passion andyour voice, to let go of limiting
beliefs, to tap into sayingyes to your future and to be to shift
your life in a way that letsyou show up in the room fully and
(17:53):
confidently.
You and you guys.
I'm so excited.
I am going to be offeringretreats soon, women's retreats.
And I will have some that areone to two day sessions that'll be
on the east coast and I cannotwait to offer those.
They'll happen late summerinto the fall and then we next year
(18:15):
are going on a women'sretreat, a tropical retreat and it
is going to be oh my God, so good.
I already have a group ofwomen that are on my email list to
learn more about retreats.
If you're not part of that andthat's of interest to you because
spots will fill up, go over tokristenfitch.com sign up for my email
newsletter and when it asksyou what you're interested in, make
(18:37):
sure you click retreat as oneof the topics so that I can get you
onto that list to learn more.
And as the details develop.
And if you're somebody thatwants to start making changes now
in your life, you want to, youwant to do something now about the
way you're speaking to yourself.
Then I do have a free downloadfor you on my website.
Go to KristenFitch.com andthen go to the freebies page and
(19:01):
when you go there just scrolldown because I have quite a bit.
There is one called rewireyour mind from negativity to joy.
You can start with that orthere's one other one which is called
create a life you lovejournaling workbook.
That one is great because itgives you list, all sorts of lists,
but you can pull out the onesthat are related to your thoughts
(19:22):
and your thinking and whatpeople say about you.
And then it has pages forreflection, reflections.
It has journaling pages andgratitude pages.
So it really helps us startfocusing on what we're thankful for,
what we're focusing on and howwe can shift maybe the areas in our
lives, like what do we sayabout our body and can we say something
(19:45):
good instead?
So those are all available onmy website and I would love for you
to go download them and let meknow what you think.
Next episode we're going to betalking about how can we trust ourselves?
How can we start listening tothat small voice within us which
can be both ourselves or thatlittle prompting from the Holy Spirit?
(20:08):
And so that's what we're goingto get into and I can't wait to share
that with you.
Thanks again for listening tothe show and if you enjoyed today's
episode, we would love it ifyou could take a minute to leave
a rating and review on ApplePodcast because it helps our show
get discovered by more people.
Hi, beautiful friends, andwelcome back to Faith Filled Woman.
This is your host, Kristin.
Hey there.
Today we are going to talkabout why our words matter so much.
And we're going to talk aboutwhy is that the starting point to
change anything in our lifethat's just not going the way we
want?
We're going to talk about howour words have such power not only
(00:21):
over ourselves, they havepower over how we're feeling, how
we look.
They have power over otherpeople in our relationships.
And so this really is centralto so many things.
And yes, I've talked about thepower of our words, the power of
our thoughts before.
I absolutely just recentlyreleased a episode about negative
(00:42):
thoughts.
But today I want to talkfurther about our words.
And not so much about negativethoughts, but about those little
small words that we don't evenrealize we're using and how changing
them can make a hugedifference in our life.
First, I want to start offwith a little bit from the book,
please.
Sorry, thanks.
By Mark Batterson.
(01:03):
And before I do, though, Iwill just share this scripture with
you.
In John 1:1, it says in thebeginning was the word, right?
In the beginning of the Bible,God literally creates the world through
the Word.
Okay?
And so anyway, so MarkPatterson in his book so says that
(01:23):
abracadabra is the mostuniversally used word that doesn't
need translation.
And yes, it's used bymagicians, but he says the etymology
is more spiritual than magical.
The ancient words abracadabramean, as I speak, I shall create.
In other words, words create worlds.
(01:44):
Words, said the Jewishtheologian Abraham Heischel, are
themselves sacred, God's toolfor creating the universe and are
tools for bringing holiness orevil into the world.
So see, friends, words havealways mattered and what we speak
(02:04):
matters.
It truly has power in the world.
And so I thought this wasreally interesting.
He shares a little bit of dataand says that the University of Chicago,
when they went throughthousands of counseling sessions,
what they found was that somepeople had success in their counseling
sessions and sustained changeand others didn't.
(02:25):
The main factor wasn't thetherapist or the technique.
The main difference or factorwas in how the people getting counseled,
talked and other words.
He says, if you want to changeyour life, you have to change your
words.
And then I'm going to sharethis little excerpt with you from
his book.
(02:46):
Our words don't represent theworld objectively.
Rather, our words create theworld subjectively.
For better or for worse.
Our words can function as selffulfilling prophecies.
They have the power to blessor to curse, to heal or to hurt,
to give life or to cause death.
Scientific studies have foundthat negative words spoken to plants
cause them to languish, whilepositive words help them flourish.
(03:09):
It's as true of people as itis of plants.
And he says that Solomon saidthe tongue has the power of life
and death.
And one other thing I want toshare with what he says.
He says, it says in the Bible,out of the overflow of the heart,
Jesus said, the mouth speaks.
Words are like x rays, butthey do more than reveal the condition
(03:31):
of our hearts.
Our words are both diagnosisand a prognosis.
And then he says, if you wantto change your relationships, you
have to change your words.
And then he talks a little bitabout what I want to talk about today.
He says, it feels like nomatter what you say, it's never enough
and it's always too much.
Or is that just me?
(03:51):
You're damned if you do anddamned if you don't.
Positivity is one of mystrengths, but I recently found myself
in a funk.
Here's a journal entry fromone of those down days when I felt
like I was emotionally flatlining.
Here's what he recorded.
I'm so spent, I'm so tired.
It feels like I'm running on empty.
I'm just not bouncing back.
My head is foggy, my heart is irritated.
(04:14):
Lord help me.
How many of us can relate tosome of those things?
Maybe on a daily basis, but weneed to really consider what it is
we're telling ourselves.
Both or not subconsciouslythat too, but what we're repeating
in our head and then whatwe're actually saying out loud as
well.
And he basically explainedthat he did some self examination
(04:37):
during that season.
One revelation was that I wasusing negative words with a high
degree of frequency.
And he said I was speakingnegativity into existence and giving
it power.
By emphasizing how hardleadership was during that season,
I was making it harder than ithad to be.
My words became selffulfilling prophecy that reinforced
a vicious cycle of negativity.
(04:58):
The same thing happens whenyou complain about people behind
their backs with a second revelation.
Want to change your dynamic?
You have to flip the script bycatching people doing things right,
then bragging about thembehind their backs.
If you want to change yourattitude, you have to change your
words.
Your words are Occam's razor.
Simple words can solveseemingly impossible problems.
(05:20):
And you know, here's what Iwant to say about this.
I have been so.
I have caught myself so manytimes doing just this, using words
or Using statements that don'tmatch what's actually going on.
In other words, I have foundout that over the years, sometimes
(05:42):
in the grocery store when I'mchecking out, I start apologizing
to the cashier, or if I'mwalking by somebody in the grocery
store, and I might say, excuseme, but sometimes I'll then say,
oh, sorry, and.
As if my taking up space is a problem.
And so that's something I haveto be aware of.
And I try to catch myselfbecause I don't have a reason to
(06:05):
apologize.
I didn't do anything wrong,but yet that comes.
It just comes out, right?
And so that, obviously issomething that I have to pay attention
to.
Another thing that happens isfor a lot of us, at some point, we
heard a message that told usthat we are too much, we're too loud,
or that we shouldn't take upso much space or say so much, we
(06:28):
shouldn't be as loud.
Or maybe as a little girl, weshould be polite and respectful and
kind and not be loud and boisterous.
You know, whatever messages wemight have heard subconsciously or
consciously.
But because of that, most ofus will carry some of that into adulthood
without realizing it.
And then we will do thingslike make ourselves seem smaller
(06:51):
or what we're doing.
I absolutely have done thisand still do this to some extent.
Let's say that I'm working ona new project, or when I launched
my podcast, you know, I'llsay, oh, I'm just doing this podcast,
or I'm just trying this thing,or I'm just doing this little event.
(07:14):
In other words, we kind ofdownplay and downsize the importance
of something.
We're trying to almost make itas if we don't say it's anything
big or.
Or it's not important to us,then it won't matter if it doesn't
have the outcome we want, right?
Or what about if we look atourselves in the mirror or try on
(07:37):
our clothes and think, oh, mygosh, I have so much extra weight.
Or maybe we even say toourselves, I am so fat, or I look
so old, or, you know, maybelook at all this flab right on your
arm or your leg.
But we aren't talking verynice to our bodies.
A lot of us, you know, thiscould be true for men and women,
(07:59):
of course, but from a woman'sperspective, we absolutely are so
critical of ourselves.
I actually saw something recently.
It was a woman travelphotographer or travel or adventure
photographer, and.
And she photographs women.
And she had shared after shehad done this trip with women, right?
(08:19):
She had taken women on these trips.
And.
But something happened.
She had a friend that passed,and so then she wanted to share with
her community that, you know,we have to stop being so critical
of ourselves as women especially.
And so I'm going to try topull that up and share with you a
little bit of what she said.
She explained that when herfriend passed, her significant other,
(08:42):
I think her husband said thatsome of the pictures that this travel
photographer took were some ofhis favorite photos of her.
Oh, my gosh, it's almost goingto make me get emotional.
Okay.
So she explained, though, thatthe photos captured her joy, her
true essence.
And she said, I hear it onevery group trip.
(09:02):
How should I pose?
What do I do with my hands?
I feel so awkward, you know?
Or people might say, oh, Ilook heavy.
Or, you know, I don't like howI look.
And she said, we often avoidthe camera.
We pick ourselves apart.
We're more comfortable behindthe lens and in front of it, especially
if we're alone.
And for.
First of all, let me tell youwho it is.
It's Max.
Explore is her Instagram handle.
(09:25):
But then she says, and I get it.
I've been there, too.
But now I don't see it thesame way anymore, because the photos
we take, especially the onesthat capture us as we really are,
he says, they become treasuresfor our families, for our children,
for ourselves.
So she said, if you hesitateto step in front of the camera, please
let this be a reminder.
(09:45):
You are beautiful.
You are worth remembering.
You don't need to be perfectto be cherished.
Let someone take your photo.
Another woman that I followand know is author Ali Worthington.
She's also a podcaster, sheruns a mentoring program, and lots
of things.
But she also shared somethingthat really ties back to the words
(10:07):
we use, but also us trying tonot take up space.
And the post was about why Idon't do low maintenance anymore.
And she explains that at onepoint, she thought low maintenance
was the way to be accepted.
She says, easygoing,undemanding, chill.
I thought it made me strong.
Turns out it just made me silent.
Somewhere along the way, shegot the sparkly, very toxic memo
(10:30):
that having needs equals beingtoo much.
She says.
So I quieted my voice,softened my edges, packed light emotionally,
didn't want to be a hassle.
But here's the truth.
Love that only works when youdisappear isn't love.
And boundaries aren't extra.
They're healthy.
So now I ask for clarity.
(10:51):
Bring snack and Opinions.
I travel with three serums andlots of boundaries and emotional
honesty.
Jesus never asked us to be doormats.
He asked us to live fully.
Heart, soul, mind and spirit.
That includes your needs, thatincludes your voice.
And oh yeah, both of thosethings did hit me, right?
Because this is exactly thetype of work that I am in the world
(11:14):
to help myself and each of youwith, which is, let's stop hiding,
let's stop, stop trying to notbe heard or seen.
Because at some point we weregiven that message.
And here's the thing, I thinkthe first thing we can do to remember
(11:36):
that our words matter.
And is this.
It's that we ask ourselves,how can I change the way I talk about
things or I talk about myself?
Because here's the truth.
We may not even know we'redoing it.
It was actually a cashier thatpointed out to me some years ago
(11:57):
that I was apologizing to him.
So what if you start noticingthe words you're using, the language
you're speaking to otherpeople about other people, about
your children, the languageyou're speaking about your spouse,
or the thoughts you're havingabout them, and then the language
and thought you're havingabout yourself, start writing them
(12:18):
down.
Keep a note on your phone andtype them in.
Catch yourself when you lookin the mirror, when your kid texts
you, when you're rushingaround, when your spouse makes you
slightly feeling irritated,like what, what is the, what are
the words that come up for you?
(12:38):
Write them down and then aftera couple days or a week, review it.
Notice what the patterns are.
Are you repeating.
Much like Mark Patterson wherehe was having a lot more down days
and then he noticed that hislanguage was quite negative.
And so two practices.
The one is what I just said,which is write down and then notice
(13:02):
the words you're using, right?
And then, and you can do somegroups for this, right?
Like words you're using todescribe or talk about yourself,
words you're using to describeand talk about other people or co
workers or friends, wordsyou're using to describe your spouse
if you're married, wordsyou're using to describe your life,
words you're using to describeyour children, words you're using
(13:25):
to describe maybe yourfinancial situation, words you're
using to describe your faith.
And then words you're using todescribe how you feel, right?
Your energy or a lack thereof,start paying attention.
So that's the first thing thatyou can do to start changing your
words so that you can changeyour life.
(13:47):
And here's the Thing is, I get it.
Some people think when we workon ourselves, that's about us.
That's not about God.
That's not about, like, howwe're showing up in the world to
do, to serve the world.
But I disagree.
Because God did not make us tobe to cower or to hide.
He actually made us to partnerwith him and show up standing tall
(14:12):
and with a purpose.
And we cannot do or fulfillthat full purpose unless we can really
step into who we are, who hemade us to be, fully and confidently
in faith.
Here's another thing.
I really liked this.
Someone talked about that it'seasy to say or name what we aren't.
(14:35):
But what if we practice sayingwhat or who we are?
In other words, it's easy tosay I'm not in shape, I'm not skinny
enough.
I'm, you know, whatever.
Like, you can fill in the brinks.
Like, it's really easy to saywhat we aren't today.
But what if we startedpracticing saying what or who we
(14:55):
are and who we're becoming,both in Christ and in our lives?
If your goal is to behealthier and maybe to be a little
bit, know, fit in your clothesbetter, stop telling yourself, I'm
so out of shape, I'm so fat,and start telling yourself, I am
working on getting healthy,you know, I am making changes to
(15:19):
be healthier.
Tell yourself I am strong, youknow, Tell yourself I am capable,
you know.
So start shifting those wordsand see how it changes how you feel
about yourself or about yourspouse or whatever the thing.
Fill in the blank.
And then from there, practicesaying what or who you are and who
(15:40):
you're becoming.
Because that's actually whatwe want to do, right?
We also want to see people notfor what they're doing at this moment,
but for who we see them becoming.
Because Christ wants us tospeak into people's lives.
He wants us to speak into whothey can become, especially when
we partner with Him.
So tell people when you seepotential in them, tell them, you
(16:05):
know, the good that you see.
And so I think when we startdoing this, we'll.
We'll realize everythingchanges when we change our words,
when we change what we'rethinking about.
And, you know, as I shared inthe last chapter, remember, our words
and our thoughts impact ourbody, right?
(16:25):
It's a holistic thing.
Mind and thoughts change.
What goes on in our bodieschanges what goes on in our lives.
It changes what goes on in ourcheckbooks, in our relationships.
It change.
It impacts everything.
So if I talk about this indifferent ways or in different areas.
It's because it matters, right?
(16:47):
And so I just wanted to comeon and share this because I think
it's so important.
And there's many Bible versesabout capturing our thoughts, right?
About focusing on the thingsthat are good, you know, and because
this work matters to me somuch because talking about these
(17:09):
things and trying to help usall shift, you know, shift our words,
shift our thoughts, shift howwe show up in life, how we rest,
how we step into ourinterests, our passions and our purpose.
I have two things to sharewith you.
The first is I will bereleasing for pre sale soon a group
(17:31):
program that I am going towalk alongside of you.
I'm going to guide you throughthe changes, to express yourself,
to reignite your passion andyour voice, to let go of limiting
beliefs, to tap into sayingyes to your future and to be to shift
your life in a way that letsyou show up in the room fully and
(17:53):
confidently.
You and you guys.
I'm so excited.
I am going to be offeringretreats soon, women's retreats.
And I will have some that areone to two day sessions that'll be
on the east coast and I cannotwait to offer those.
They'll happen late summerinto the fall and then we next year
(18:15):
are going on a women'sretreat, a tropical retreat and it
is going to be oh my God, so good.
I already have a group ofwomen that are on my email list to
learn more about retreats.
If you're not part of that andthat's of interest to you because
spots will fill up, go over tokristenfitch.com sign up for my email
newsletter and when it asksyou what you're interested in, make
(18:37):
sure you click retreat as oneof the topics so that I can get you
onto that list to learn more.
And as the details develop.
And if you're somebody thatwants to start making changes now
in your life, you want to, youwant to do something now about the
way you're speaking to yourself.
Then I do have a free downloadfor you on my website.
Go to KristenFitch.com andthen go to the freebies page and
(19:01):
when you go there just scrolldown because I have quite a bit.
There is one called rewireyour mind from negativity to joy.
You can start with that orthere's one other one which is called
create a life you lovejournaling workbook.
That one is great because itgives you list, all sorts of lists,
but you can pull out the onesthat are related to your thoughts
(19:22):
and your thinking and whatpeople say about you.
And then it has pages forreflection, reflections.
It has journaling pages andgratitude pages.
So it really helps us startfocusing on what we're thankful for,
what we're focusing on and howwe can shift maybe the areas in our
lives, like what do we sayabout our body and can we say something
(19:45):
good instead?
So those are all available onmy website and I would love for you
to go download them and let meknow what you think.
Next episode we're going to betalking about how can we trust ourselves?
How can we start listening tothat small voice within us which
can be both ourselves or thatlittle prompting from the Holy Spirit?
(20:08):
And so that's what we're goingto get into and I can't wait to share
that with you.
Thanks again for listening tothe show and if you enjoyed today's
episode, we would love it ifyou could take a minute to leave
a rating and review on ApplePodcast because it helps our show
get discovered by more people.
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