June 2, 2026 • 38 mins
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Nicole thought TikTok was being ridiculous. After posting wedding videos online, strangers flooded the comments insisting there was “no way” she was half white like she’d always believed. Some people were curious. Others were cruel. But the comments kept coming.
“You look Black.”
“That’s not your dad.”
“You should take a DNA test.”
So she did. What Nicole expected would be a funny way to shut down internet trolls turned into a complete rewriting of her identity, family history, and understanding of herself.
In this unforgettable episode of Family Twist, Nicole shares how a viral TikTok video led to the shocking discovery that the father who raised her was not her biological father. Raised in Maui in a conservative Christian household, Nicole never seriously questioned the story she’d been told about her background. But one DNA test uncovered an entirely different reality, including a biological father in Texas who never knew she existed.
What follows is one of the most emotional and hopeful reunion stories we’ve heard on the podcast.
Nicole opens up about confronting her mother, finding her biological father through an obituary and Facebook search, and the overwhelming moment of realizing she finally saw herself in someone else. Corey and Kendall also explore the complicated emotions that come with DNA surprises, race and identity, reunion, loyalty to the parent who raised you, and the emotional whiplash of discovering a whole new side of your family overnight.
This episode covers:
- DNA surprises and NPE discoveries
- Viral TikTok DNA stories
- Race and identity revelations
- Late discovery biological family
- Reunion with a biological father
- Family secrets and emotional healing
- Nature versus nurture
- Adoption-adjacent identity journeys
- The impact of ancestry DNA testing
Somehow, this story also includes one of the sweetest father-daughter reunions imaginable.
Want more Corey and Kendall?
Join us for Family Twist After Hours, our weekly unfiltered bonus podcast featuring personal stories, family secrets, behind-the-scenes conversations and plenty we don't share on the regular show.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kendall (00:00):
Hey everybody and welcome back to Family Twist.
(00:02):
I'm Kendall.
Our guest today, Nicole, grew upin Maui, raised in a loving
family, never really questioningthe story she'd been told about
who she was.
But after posting a weddingvideo on TikTok and getting
thousands of comments fromstrangers insisting something
about her story didn't add up,she decided to take a DNA test.
(00:22):
What happened next completelychanged her understanding of
herself, her family, and heridentity.
What I really connected with inNicole's story is how layered
this kind of discovery can be.
There's shock, confusion,excitement, grief, guilt,
curiosity, and sometimes joy allhappening at once.
(00:43):
And for Nicole, there was alsothis incredibly emotional
experience of meeting abiological father who never knew
she existed, and a holy side ofher family who welcomed her with
open arms.
This episode also gets intosomething we talk about a lot on
Family Twist.
The difference between thefamily who raises you and the
(01:03):
biological connections youdiscover later in life.
Nicole speaks so beautifullyabout loving the dad who raised
her while also building arelationship with the father she
found through DNA.
It's complicated, messy,healing, and honestly very
human.
And I have to say, Corey and Iinstantly felt connected to
Nicole.
(01:24):
Maybe it's because so many of usin this community understand
what it's like when one piece ofinformation suddenly reframes
your entire life story.
So settle in, because this is areally powerful conversation.
Corey (01:42):
Hey Nicole, welcome to the podcast.
SPEAKER_02 (01:44):
Hi, hey guys, thanks for having me on here.
Corey (01:47):
I'm so intrigued by your story because as we just talked
about a couple of minutes agobefore we started recording,
like I did go on your TikTok andclicked on a few posts just to
know a little bit.
I'm like, whoa, there's a storyhere.
A lot going on.
But so let's rewind to yourchildhood.
SPEAKER_02 (02:04):
So to get background, I was raised in
Maui, Hawaii.
So if you've ever been there,it's a very small island.
And I was there pretty much mostof my life.
I'm 26 now.
Yeah, I was growing up there.
I'm the oldest of three.
So it's me, my sister, mybrother, and then our two
parents.
And my mother is Indian, and thedad that I was raised with is
(02:28):
white.
So it was the three of us withour two parents.
And we had a pretty, very, Ithink, blessed childhood living
in the islands of paradise.
Very beautiful.
That um yeah, growing up, it wasvery, I would say also remote
because people that you wouldcome across would be either
tourists or people that wouldn'tstay very long.
So I think a lot of it was justvery remote and secluded.
(02:51):
Are your typical averageAmerican experience can't be
compared to how it is living onthe island because it's just
totally different type oflifestyle.
And so a lot of it grew up waslike around Pacific Islanders,
you know, Hawaiians, Sumoans,Tongans, lots of Japanese and
Chinese influence, a verycultural mix, but you wouldn't
have come across a lot of peoplethat looked like me or my
(03:15):
mother.
So okay, it was kind ofinteresting place because you
were considered like theminority, right?
Corey (03:20):
What did you know about your birth?
SPEAKER_02 (03:24):
I knew that I was conceived in Texas.
I was born actually in NorthCarolina, so we were living
there.
I think my parents were livingthere for a bit, and then we
actually moved to Hawaii shortlyafter.
But I knew that I did take so mymother had told me that I took
after my grandpa's or her dad.
(03:46):
And he actually had passed awaywhen she was young, and so I've
seen pictures of him, and heisn't the dark, just darkest me,
but if not darker.
And people may not realize this,but Indians are a very diverse
type of people.
You can have northern Indians orvery light skin, you can have
southern, which is my mom is, soI'm half south Indian, so they
(04:07):
can be very dark, they have alltypes of features and hair
textures.
So I knew that what I was toldis that I really took after my
grandpa, and so that was thereason behind like how come I
don't look like my siblings,right?
So maybe I just didn't get anyof my dad's features, and I
think that's just something thatI when my parents tell you
(04:27):
something, you believe it at ayoung age, and I think uh that's
just how it goes when you'regrowing up.
And for me, I was raised in aconservative Christian
household, and also I washomeschooled.
My view of any outside knowledgeis already limited because I'm
so I was homeschooled up until Iwas in high school.
Corey (04:49):
One home.
SPEAKER_02 (04:51):
I actually had to beg my parents to let us go to a
public high school because I hadmore friends, a young teen.
Up until that point, yeah, I washomeschooled.
Corey (05:00):
It's so funny how the little things just like tie back
to our story, like the NorthCarolina thing.
So one of Kendall so Kendallfound out he's the oldest of
seven.
Oh wow and one of hishalf-brothers lives in North
Carolina, and his uncle andcousins moved to North Carolina.
SPEAKER_02 (05:17):
That's so crazy.
Kendall (05:19):
No, it's where in North Carolina is so my brother lives
near Asheville.
Okay, but my uncle lives closerto the coast.
SPEAKER_02 (05:29):
Okay.
Kendall (05:29):
So yeah, I can't remember the name of the town
that my uncle moved to, butokay.
It's just it is crazy.
To your point, I remember I wentto a private Christian like like
nursery school, and then and theplan was for me to go to a
private elementary school.
(05:51):
And I remember because ofchurch, ironically, I was like,
Oh, but I know these other kidsfrom the public school.
Can I just go to that?
I had to beg my parents.
SPEAKER_02 (06:03):
Yeah, you know how it feels with like you just kind
of want to have differentexperience, and people just try
to tell you, oh, public school'sbetter, come make friends, and
you get excited and you want togo there.
Kendall (06:13):
So and I convinced them, and I went public school
from first through 12th.
So it worked.
Corey (06:20):
That's so cool.
That's so cool.
Yeah, it's just so bizarre,Nicole, that uh we've been doing
this for four years now, and wejust I'm speaking for both of
us, we feel this instantconnection with somebody, and
we're not in person right now,we're seeing each other, but
it's like we feel this instantconnection with everybody we
have on the show.
SPEAKER_02 (06:41):
I love it, I feel like it's meant to be sometimes.
I always feel like the thingthat I found out, it's like
there's almost like no suchthing as coincidences, which is
meant to be to like be revealedand things like that.
Um, so yeah, I totally agree.
Kendall (06:55):
And that's totally how I feel.
Kendall's the opposite.
Docs are more pessimist and notpessimistic, but what's the
word?
Skeptical.
Skeptical, a little skeptical.
Corey (07:04):
Yeah, whereas I'm mystical.
That's a good combo though tohave.
As a kid or growing into ateenager, did you ever have an
inkling that something was justnot right?
SPEAKER_02 (07:14):
So the interesting part is that people always would
ask me, like, are you adopted?
Do you have a different?
I've always gotten questionslike that.
And I think it didn't reallysurprisingly enough, it didn't
actually bother me because Ifelt like I was so sure of
myself at the time and of myparents, and that I would trust
them to my full content, that Inever really thought about it.
(07:37):
And it's like I almost I wishthat I did, because then I
wouldn't have round out in sucha crazy way.
But I feel like just because Iloved my parents so much, and
you know those are your parents,and you want to be close to them
and a part of them, that yourbrain kind of just submits and
conjures up this thing of okay,then I must just be what they
(07:57):
are.
Yeah, and that was just kind ofmy line of thinking.
I honestly just never reallythought anything was up, which
is crazy.
Kendall (08:06):
I totally get it though.
SPEAKER_02 (08:07):
I was just a very dark-skinned Indian woman, and
that I just didn't have anywhite features from my dad, and
that just was I I knew thatgenetics could be very wild and
crazy, and sometimes you'll havetwo parents to have a dark
child, and it's oh but I thinkbecause my parents myself, we
never they never approached meand said made any comments, and
(08:29):
I never went to them and said,Hey, this person asked me if I'm
adopted, is that true, mom?
I never asked them and theynever came up with those
conversations never reallyhappened.
I think with when you grew up inalso an Indian household, my mom
came from India and married mydad at a very young age.
And so growing up in more of theIndian household, those types of
(08:49):
conversations are not justsomething that just can be
easily discussed.
And I think my parents are verynon-confrontational people that
they like to say that they wantto talk about things and then it
doesn't come up and they kind ofjust doesn't happen or they
don't see it, and I think intheir own brain, it's let's just
not discuss it and let's justmove on and keep living because
so many things are happening inour life that maybe the way that
(09:12):
I look it wasn't their toppriority, and I think for me
either, it wasn't just somethingthat I was really concerned
about.
So that was custom how I feltgrowing up, even though people
always asked me or made fun ofme, I just was like, nope, my
mid dance Indians can be dark.
I feel like looking back, nowpeople are probably like, okay,
maybe they knew but didn't wantto talk or really told me that
(09:34):
was the other part was likethere was no one around me that
would have been able to be upfront and been like, Hey Nicole,
I think you should ask yourparents what's going on.
Not that's their job, but Idon't think I had anyone around
me that would be willing to talkto me about those things.
I've honestly growing up inMaui, there was a very, that's a
very small percent of blackpeople.
And like I said earlier, thereare usually going to be tourists
(09:56):
who come to the hotels and stay,and I'm not living in the
tourist area.
So I feel like if I had maybehad made some black friends,
they probably wouldn't have beenlike, okay, you're one of us,
but I didn't have any of that.
So I feel like just living in aplace where you're in their
minority, you're not aroundother people.
So it's like I didn't have noone to compare myself to if that
makes sense.
(10:16):
And also everyone in Hawaii isvery mixed, like all of them
were like, I'm half Japanese,I'm part Chinese, I'm more just
a very cultural mix of peoplethat I think I thought, okay, if
everyone's mixed and I'm mixed,maybe I just after my mom.
Yeah.
Corey (10:33):
Oh, was there a DNA test involved?
SPEAKER_02 (11:37):
Yes.
So last year, and I'll kind oftalk about how I even decided to
take an A test.
I've been posting on TikTok forabout a year now, and I actually
got married in 2024, September.
And so I wanted to share mywedding photos last year in
January.
And I was following along thisfunny trend where it's talking
(11:57):
about controversial things thatyou do at an Indian wedding or
that you don't do.
And so I made a joke by that Iwasn't marrying an Indian man
because my husband's white.
So it was like a funny jokeabout how I had an Indian
wedding, but not with an Indianman.
So I shared those wedding photosand it really blew up.
And I started getting commentsabout, oh, which one's Indian?
Are you Indian?
You look black.
(12:17):
There's no way you're Indian.
And of course, if I know I'vebeen I've heard those things
before, so I was like, didn'treally think much about it.
But it started to really blow upthousands of comments every
single day.
I would open up the app and Iwould have a lot of comments.
And some of them were genuine,some of them were also very
nasty and just very shrewd.
(12:39):
Online social media can bepeople could or easy to say
stuff that's very hatefulbecause they're behind a screen.
I started to post more about myparents that I was raised with.
I said, No, this is my mom, thisis my dad.
Um, and was like, oh man, peopleare being relieved.
They felt like they were whatthey're defensive about the way
that I looked, and that it waslike bothering people a lot that
(13:00):
I was saying that I was halfwhite.
And my husband's actuallyadopted, and so he he knows who
his parents are and he's metthem before, and he's taking a
DNA test before in the past, andso I thought eventually I would
take one just because I thinkit's an interesting thing to
know like what you are.
And I I also did get commentsthat were like, take a DNA test,
(13:21):
just post it and let us see.
Um and I was like, one damn, I'mtrying to be a content creator,
I think it would be good contentto showcase this story, and I'm
so confident let me just takeone anyways and post about it
and shut people up and p double.
And so in February, I purchasedit.
(13:41):
I did not tell my parents, sothe only people that knew were
my husband and my sister.
I paid for expedition shippingbecause I just wanted to know
the answer.
Hence, Sarah, so maybe that wasmy subconscious being like,
okay, maybe something's up.
I got the results back in twoweeks.
Um, I actually recorded myselfreading the results with my
(14:02):
sister and my husband.
And when I was looking at it, Ithink I still didn't make sense
of it in my head because I wasin just pure shock.
Because I'm seeing, yes, I'mhalf Indian, but the other half,
I'm like, where's the whitepart?
Where's the European?
And I started seeing when you'reAfrican American, you have
different parts that are likeall mixed up but equal to 50%.
(14:24):
So I was seeing 10% Nigerian,10% Mali, just a lot of West
African percentages, and still Iwasn't, I was still it didn't
hit me.
And my husband was like, No,that means you're half African
American.
And he's like, See, if you addthem all up, it's 50%.
And so, and so my sister waslike, I I think you need to ask
(14:47):
the source, I think you wouldask mom, you know, and uh she's
like maybe it was something thatshe was being mean to tell you,
maybe she's it was hard for herto get it out.
So I waited a day because I wasjust scared.
I was scared to confront her.
I just didn't want her to getmad that I took one.
(15:08):
And it's funny because myparents have always been weird
about DNA tests, like theydidn't have a huge interest
towards it.
I think when we would talk aboutmy husbands, we'd all talk about
that.
They didn't care.
Oh, that's cool, but like, whydo you care so much about what
you are?
So that's why I didn't tellthem.
And so I waited a day and I hada dream the night before I
called my mom.
(15:28):
And I had a dream that I waswalking down the aisle at my
wedding, and all of my guestswere there, but there was one
guest that I didn't recognize,and it was just some random
black man, and it really spookedme.
I woke up and it was 4 a.m.
And I look over to my husband,and he's also a wink, and he's I
(15:50):
just feel like this is justsomething that's gonna be really
tugging on your heart.
I he woke up and he was like, Ijust feel like this is gonna be
some type of breakthrough foryou or just something crazy.
And so I was like, Yeah, I thinkyou pretended to call your mom.
Go back to sleep, and so I callher, and we used to always
FaceTime her call, so it wasn'tout of the ordinary that I would
call her because they live inHawaii still, so I'm always
(16:11):
talking to them, and but I thinkshe knew something was up
because I usually call when it'safter the workday is done, and
so it was the middle of myworkday, and I work from home,
and I'm like, I must go my lunchbreak, let me call my mom, and I
call her, and she's like, Heyhoney, is everything okay?
And I was like, Yeah, so and sheactually knew that I went viral
(16:32):
on TikTok.
Um, so she knew that I wasgetting comments about these
things, and still she nothingwas coming out, like she didn't
say anything.
And so when I would tell herabout these comments, she was
like, Oh my gosh, people are socrazy.
And looking back now, and Iremember like when I was telling
her about these things, I couldtell it actually wasn't
bothering her that people weresaying that I was black.
(16:56):
So I think she was getting alittle bit worked up, but I just
thought it was because oh mygod, they're being so rude,
right?
So looking back now, I thinkmaybe she was still thinking,
Could it be possible?
So back to the phone call, Icalled her and I told her that I
took a DNA test after I wentviral, and I said it was really
cool to see that I was halfIndian, but the other half, mom,
(17:18):
I'm half African American.
Is it possible that I have adifferent dad from my siblings?
And then it was she took a pauseand she was like, Wow, yeah, I
think you do.
So her saying, I think you do,means she herself wasn't sure.
Which I'm like, okay, that and Ithought, okay, if she had kept
quiet about this, this just mustmean that she it was like a bad
(17:42):
encounter and that it just wassomething that was traumatic for
her.
When I had her shannot.
So I told her, It's okay thatyou didn't tell me for so long,
but I want to know the truthnow.
It's out there now.
She had told me the story oflike how they met, and it was in
Texas, it had happened when myparents were already married, so
the dad that raised me.
(18:04):
So they had came, she had justcome from India, and they my dad
had gotten her a job, and so shewas a cleaning lady at the time.
And I had to ask the time, and Iwas like, Mom, was it
consensual?
And she was like, Yeah, it was,but I think because it was such
a shock.
And I think when we're young, wechoose to do things that we
(18:25):
regret later on, right?
I think mobs can test the thingsthat we are not maybe not okay
with in the moment orafterwards, but we do it anyway.
And I think lines get blurredand then later on we feel
shameful, and a lot of Indianculture is based on shame, and
to come out with some of thiswould be like very, I think,
very hard for her to come outwith and share and probably be
(18:46):
like bring a lot of shame to herfamily and to herself.
So I can see why she didn't talkabout it, and I think that just
because she was so happy thatshe was pregnant, that she
really did think that I was likea reincarnation of her dad
because she loved her dad somuch and they were so close.
That's blessing with someonethat looked just like my dad.
(19:07):
There was no chance in hell thatmy bad would be able to contact
my mom.
And he himself didn't know atall that I even existed.
All it takes is one time.
And she told me all thosethings.
She I asked her, Do you rememberhis name?
And she that was the one detailthat she did actually remember.
So it just was so fascinatingthat she all these years that
(19:29):
she remembered his first name,and so I didn't have a last name
to go off of.
But I knew that okay, if he's inTexas, and what are the chances
that maybe he's still there?
Who knows?
And with the ancestry, it didn'tmatch me to him, but it actually
matched me to one of hishalf-brothers, my half-uncle.
And so I had that name, but thisperson had already passed away
(19:52):
back in I think 2020.
So I'm like, okay, how am Igonna find him?
So my husband was like, Okay,why don't you look at this
person's obituary?
Because it's gonna say who hesurvived by, and you might see
the name.
So I'm like, okay, so I'mbrowsing over, I'm Googling it,
I'm looking through it.
Because it this was like afterthe phone call was over, I'm
like, I want to find him, but Ididn't tell my mom, she didn't
(20:15):
know that I was gonna find him,but I just I need answers
because I learned to know sideof the story because my mom was
able to share some details, butnot a lot, because it was very,
I think, still traumatic for heras a young woman.
Age gap, too.
It's like it's it's hard to beopen about those things.
So I said, okay, I'm gonna do mydue diligence and find out on my
own.
(20:35):
And so I'm like looking throughit, and then I see like all
these names that because there'sthey're a big family, big black
southern family.
So I'm looking and I'm like,okay, and I see his name.
This is survived by, and I seethe first name, Rodney.
I'm like, okay, and then I seethe last name, Carter.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
So I go on Facebook and I'm likelooking because just like
(20:59):
there's so many people on Texas,like, I don't know how I'm gonna
find him.
Look, anyways, I just assumethat maybe he would be on there
because he was younger than mydad who raised me, but a little
bit older than looking, and thenI see some pictures pop up.
Again, it doesn't really hit mebecause I'm like, okay, yeah, I
don't really know.
And my husband's like, yeah, helooks like you.
And I see so I decide that Idon't want to message him and
(21:23):
scare him, but I'm gonna messageone of his daughters because I
feel like they're close to myage, they could probably relate
and be able to let him know.
So I find one of them, I findher Instagram, and then I
message her, and I was like,hey, you don't know me at all,
clearly.
I tried to make it not soundsuper scammy at all.
(21:44):
And I went outside, I just waslike, hey, I know you don't know
me.
But I recently took a DNA testand I found out that my biotech
is a different person.
My mom mentioned that sheremembers working with your dad
in in Texas, the chance thatthis could be my town, and let
me know.
And so I'm like waiting to seeif she's gonna respond.
And honestly, it only took acouple hours like that day.
(22:06):
She's I just talked to my dad,and he might be right.
And oh my gosh, I just was likeso anxious because I did not
think I was even gonna get aresponse the day of.
And so I'm like, Okay, and she'slike, What's your number?
I'm gonna call you.
And I'm like, Okay, we can call.
Kendall (22:26):
This is happening.
SPEAKER_02 (22:27):
And I felt like I'm gonna do this and let's just see
how the conversation goes.
And like she calls me afterwork, and then I just spill
everything about what hadhappened and me going viral and
like how our parents met andstuff like that.
And she's like, Yeah, I calledmy dad, and I he said he he
didn't know it all, but he hadremembered my mom, and he's oh,
(22:47):
was it the Indian lady?
Was it her?
But he remembered that she wasIndian, so I guess it was
confirmed that way.
And so it's just we all love herdad so much.
We know he's not perfect, butone thing about him is he's a
really good dad.
And if he had known about you,he would have learned to be in
your wife like a hundredpercent.
Cause he's like a really biggirl dad.
He loves his kids, and you canreally see it.
(23:10):
It's just what an amazing man hejust had.
All his kids are just superclose to him.
And I think that shows whenyou're a good parent.
And so she's like, he wants totalk to you.
And I'm like, okay, sure.
He can call me tomorrow duringmy lunch break.
And she's okay.
And she gave him my number.
It's a Thursday.
And so he calls me.
And I'm like, Hi, like, is thisNicole?
(23:32):
It's super proper.
Because it's so funny becausehe's not a pro proper person,
but like when he called me thisday, he was trying to be super
proper.
It was really funny.
So he said, Is this Nicole?
And I'm like, Yeah, this is she.
He must be pretty shocked aboutall of this.
And I'm like, Yeah.
And we talked for over an hour.
What?
He just was super genuine andnice.
I could just tell, like, all ofmy nerves I had leading up to
(23:56):
this was like, I feel like wentaway because he would just was
to make me feel verycomfortable.
And he was like, You havenothing to feel embarrassed
about.
I clearly didn't know, but Iwould love to be in your life if
you'll let me.
I've missed the last 25 yearsand I would love to be in your
life for the next 25 and more.
God willing.
And so just hearing that, I justwas like, wow, very happy to
(24:16):
hear that.
Because you never know what thereactions can maybe be when you
approach someone, they could belike, Well, I have enough kids.
I don't even want, like, youknow, away from me, you know,
because you never know.
And I knew that was the risk Iwas willing to take.
If they are not wanting toaccept me, cool, that's fine.
I just want to know what who heis, and I'll leave you guys
alone.
But the fact that they were justso accepting of me right away,
(24:39):
and they were like, You're oursister, that's your dad, and
just accepting was just like,wow, it couldn't have turned out
any better.
And so since that day last year,in Vedor, we've talked every
single day since then.
He just really got to know meand asked me questions and
stuff, and I sent him picturesof a little me, and he just he
(25:01):
knew that I was his right away.
He was like, Yeah, just no,there's no other reasoning.
And so I think some of his kidswere a little skeptical,
obviously valid, because like,why now?
Why am I here now?
And so they had asked if we werewilling to like take our
paternity test.
And I was like, at first I waslike, I don't know, because
everything was happening sofast.
(25:22):
And I just was like, okay, holdon.
But then as we started to talkmore, I'm like, you know what?
I want to be sure I want them tofeel comfortable.
They're gonna be like, if I'mgonna be in their life, they are
allowed to be like skepticalbecause that's their dad's
protective of him.
So I was like, you know what?
If it lets me have more peopleto love on and vice versa, then
(25:43):
let's do it.
I was ready to meet him inperson, and I was like,
actually, the month of that Iwas talking to him, I was like,
I want to meet him already, youknow?
I was pretty excited, and sofrom February until June is when
we actually met for the firsttime in person.
So again, it was happening veryfast because my dad's such a
loving person, though it hadhappened that way just because
of who he is, and he was like,Yeah, you can fly down here and
(26:05):
stuff.
And so I flew down to Texas withmy husband.
Um, and then I went like to thehotel that we're saying at, met
him in the lobby first becausewe were gonna go get lunch
together, and so he broughtflowers and he was like
recording because he was soexcited, and it was just such a
sweet moment because just seeinghim in person and seeing his
(26:25):
like characteristics andmannerisms.
I was just like, wow, like it'sso similar, and it was just so
crazy to like finally see likemyself and someone else, and I'm
talking like full and liketwins.
It was really crazy.
Just the way that he likes tomake jokes, he's super
extroverted, super funny, heloves talking to people, which
is a really sweet person, and uhit made me like so happy to know
(26:48):
like my biodad was someone thatI could look up to and just be
like have someone that was agood person that was I was a
part of, like I thought goodknowing that because I before
that I had to just assume thatit was gonna be just someone who
was a bad person, just so weknow never really know until we
need them.
And so when we met at and stuff,that one was done when I was
(27:09):
like, I think now's a good timeto take the returning test
because we're together inperson.
I did the Walgreens at home one,some you can buy in Walgreens,
so did the cheek swab and in thehotel, and then I think I got
the results back once I hadalready left Texas and I was
back in Seattle, but again I wasstill so nervous because I'm
like, what if we're wrong?
(27:31):
And then I went through all thisgetting to know this random man
for nothing, and I'm like,trying to be correct.
Oh my gosh.
But my husband was like, No,there's no way, like your mom
remembered his name, heremembered your mom, like
literally, who else could it be?
Yeah, okay, so obviously I tookit and was like 99.99 after
daddy.
(27:52):
I was like, but he was excited,he's supposed to celebrate and
stuff, and so once I took that,the other seven came around,
they were like, We're sometimesto be a part of your life, and
like you're our sister, andagain, like just very like sweet
people, and so I think it justreally shows like what a loving
family and stuff, and they'reall super like close and tight
(28:12):
with each other, like cousins,uncles, aunties, and everyone,
like that they are like, Hey,and a member, welcome, and I
think that was great to have.
Um, so yeah, that was just likea really crazy, but I think like
fulfilling year last year, justso much had happened that like I
(28:34):
just can't even believe it.
It feels so fresh in my mindstill, just because I'm like, I
still think about sometimes.
I'm like, well, what do youmean?
I have a different dad.
Because it's just mind-blowing.
Um but to be able to meet himand then meet my siblings, and
then I met my grandma on thatside before she passed away.
I just feel like everything kindof aligned up really well.
(28:55):
It really was like meant to be,and then even that later, like
towards the end of last orDecember, I had brought him to
Maui so that he could come andsee how I lived and what my
childhood was like, and so thatworked, very special for us.
I think like we grew even closerbecause he could just see like
how I grew up and like justthings that he didn't miss out
(29:17):
on, but I think just tounderstand like me as a person
more, and um even when I met himin person, I actually decided to
make this album of all mypictures from where I was like
since I was like birth, a baby,up until now.
And I left some pages blank sothat we could add some together,
like how I grew up, and that wasreally special.
(29:39):
But yeah, that trip to Man, Ifeel like I'm always gonna look
back on because like it was justlike so special and bonded so
well, and it was like 12 days oflike uninterrupted time with my
dad, and uh, which was like areally great trip.
And uh, our birthdays actuallyare very close, it's crazy.
So, like his birthday isDecember 7th, and mine's
(30:01):
December 15th, so we're bothlike Sagittariuses, and so I'm
not into the whole horoscope,but I do think it was crazy that
to know that like we had similarbirthdays, but he had asked like
what my birthday was earlier.
I was like, Oh yeah, it's inDecember, and he's oh my gosh,
like you're definitely mine,because in family there's a lot
of like people that haveDecember birthdays, like
children, his mom, to mygrandma.
(30:22):
So, like December is a very likepopular month for them.
Kendall (30:26):
Wow.
So your mother and your raisingfather, how what do they know at
this point?
SPEAKER_02 (30:33):
So they know that I went to go meet him, and they
were they understood.
They said this is something thatshe needs to go to, and I'm an
adult now, and like I can makethose choices for myself.
I think for my dad who raisedme, it was hard because I think
he assumed that it was gonna belike a one and done.
Like I was gonna go meet him andthen leave it and then not try
(30:54):
to like make plans and pursuelike this relationship.
So I think he was a little bitlike off put oh, she really
wanted to like have be in hislife.
So I think it was hard for him.
And I think understand, like healso is like learning about this
for the first time himself.
Like, I think he always had likesuspicions that maybe that I
wasn't his, but to him it didn'tmatter because I was still his
(31:16):
daughter at the end of the day,and like he still raised me like
nothing else was going on.
So like I have so much respectfor that because I feel like to
raise someone that's not yours,but just to chair some and treat
them like you're they're yourkid is just like very admirable.
Now, I do wish that maybe he hadshared like those thoughts with
me.
Like, I maybe have a little bitof like an ink ring, but he
(31:39):
never did.
So again, I was like blinded tothat.
I think people had asked himtoo, like, is not going on
years?
And he said it doesn't matter ifshe wasn't.
I think to them, like theydidn't really communicate that
to each other, it couldn't havecame up.
And I think when my parents likealso had their own like marital
problems that like that didn'talso really come up.
So I think when I went to like ameeting and stuff, it was they
(32:02):
had again they respected it, butI think it was still hard on
them to know that like I wasdoing this step, and I think
like for my mom, she felt like Iwas gonna have a new family, and
that I was leaving them, andthat she loves her kids and
she's very protective of herkids, and so I think she felt
like I was slowly like losingthem, and vice versa.
(32:23):
Like they just I was just gonnahave a new family, and I was
like, bye! But that wasn't thecase at all.
I just wasn't what's best for mebecause it just was so much for
me to learn at 25 years old, allof a sudden, like wow, that's a
lot to like to realize.
And so I was just trying toreassure them like I have to go
do this, and you guys know me.
(32:44):
I'm like someone who wants to,like, if it's yeah, it's uh it
felt fast to them, like theywere like, Oh, it's too soon,
you can't go meet it's too soon,too soon.
But we understand, but I'm like,You guys know me, like I don't
think things are ever too soonbecause I feel like I found out,
but is it really too soon?
Because I didn't have 25 yearsof any of this prior knowledge,
so that's right.
(33:04):
To me, I feel like it was justright timing.
And I think it was good timingbecause I had already gotten
married, so I was in this newera of like my own family one
day, and near like family union.
And I feel like because I had alot more emotional maturity to
handle something like this, Ialways felt like it was like
probably good timing for mebecause I feel like if it had
(33:26):
happened maybe as a teenager,who really knows how that would
have unfolded and like custodybattles and all that messy stuff
that has happened, like whoknows?
So I feel like it was goodtiming for me to find out, and
so even when he came to Mauitoo, it was a little bit of a
shock.
I told him, like, I was like,it's about to be a year before
(33:48):
because it was December, and I'mlike, it's about to be a whole
year since I found out.
So I'm like, I'm like, I gottado this.
So I'm like, that was kind oflike their life thing, but I
think just like as parents, Ithink they understand like that
is really important, and my dad,he's older now, and it's like
we've lost so much timetogether.
(34:08):
I want to be I just like lovebeing around him so much, and
just feel like I want to haveall those years back, and I want
to be able to have new memoriesand stuff, and so I think
hopefully they were able toreally understand that in that
way for me, and like they knowlike we're gonna do what's best
for Nicole, and like if this iswhat she wants, then we know
we'll allow it.
Corey (34:30):
Great, it's such a beautiful story.
Yeah.
So, Nicole, please do us afavor, give your husband a hug
for us for being a greatsupportive spouse.
The last question that we alwaysask on the podcast is when you
were going through thisdiscovery, is there a song or a
musical artist or a genre thathelps you progress through this?
SPEAKER_02 (34:52):
It's a good question.
Okay, genre, yes.
So in Hawaii, we love Hawaiianreggae.
And so there's this one songfrom this local band, and it's
called Liliana.
And the song is about this guysings about his daughter just
loving his daughter and how he'saway from her.
When you're in music, you're ontour, you're doing this, you're
(35:12):
away for a long time.
One of the lyrics is yourdaddy's coming home.
And so I had we were in the carone day picking up from the
airport, picking my dad up, andhad came all randomly.
Okay, and so we started to play,and he's in the front seat next
to my husband, and he starts tocry and tear up.
I'm sorry, guys, this song isjust so special, and like to be
(35:34):
here, like where you grew up,was just like so amazing.
And so that song I feel was justsomething that like really spoke
to him and me, and like it'ssuch a beautiful song.
But it's um, it's called umLiliana, and it's back, it's by
um Maole.
Um, but yeah, it's a Hawaiian umreggae band, and they're
amazing, and actually from Maui.
And so I feel like that songreally speaks to us because it
(35:55):
talks about missing your lovedones, missing your daughter so
much, but like reassuring herthat I'm gonna be there, I'm
gonna come back to you soon, andlike that whole reading.
Corey (36:04):
I love that.
That's a little cool, great.
Thank you so much for sharingyour story.
SPEAKER_02 (36:11):
Not much to dish out, but I feel like it's such a
beautiful story, and I just wantpeople to feel that like these
things do happen, and like wecan let it like crumble or shake
our world, but really be able totake control of and realize like
you're not alone, and thesethings can always have like a
beautiful ending, and like Ifeel like reunions with like
your parents and family isalways a special thing because
(36:32):
it's like more people to likelove on you.
That's like what people say,yeah, more people to love on
you, and vice versa.
Kendall (36:38):
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of
Family Twist.
Nicole's story is such areminder that DNA discoveries
don't just uncover names andpercentages, they uncover
emotions, histories,relationships, and entire parts
of ourselves we never knewexisted.
What really moved me aboutNicole is how open-hearted she's
remained through all of this.
(37:00):
It would have been easy to letanger or confusion take over,
but instead she's approachedthis journey with curiosity,
compassion, and a realwillingness to hold space for
everyone involved, including theparents who raised her and the
biological family she's onlyrecently found.
And honestly, hearing her talkabout finally seeing herself in
(37:20):
someone for the first time,seeing shared mannerisms and
personality traits that hit mehard.
A lot of people in our communityknow exactly what that feels
like.
There's something incrediblypowerful about recognizing
yourself and another human beingafter spending years wondering
where certain pieces of you camefrom.
(37:41):
We're really grateful to Nicolefor trusting us and all of you
with her story.
If this episode resonates withyou, please make sure to
subscribe, leave a review, andshare it with someone who might
need to hear it.
And as always, remember familysecrets are the ultimate plot
twist.
Hey everybody and welcome back to Family Twist.
(00:02):
I'm Kendall.
Our guest today, Nicole, grew upin Maui, raised in a loving
family, never really questioningthe story she'd been told about
who she was.
But after posting a weddingvideo on TikTok and getting
thousands of comments fromstrangers insisting something
about her story didn't add up,she decided to take a DNA test.
(00:22):
What happened next completelychanged her understanding of
herself, her family, and heridentity.
What I really connected with inNicole's story is how layered
this kind of discovery can be.
There's shock, confusion,excitement, grief, guilt,
curiosity, and sometimes joy allhappening at once.
(00:43):
And for Nicole, there was alsothis incredibly emotional
experience of meeting abiological father who never knew
she existed, and a holy side ofher family who welcomed her with
open arms.
This episode also gets intosomething we talk about a lot on
Family Twist.
The difference between thefamily who raises you and the
(01:03):
biological connections youdiscover later in life.
Nicole speaks so beautifullyabout loving the dad who raised
her while also building arelationship with the father she
found through DNA.
It's complicated, messy,healing, and honestly very
human.
And I have to say, Corey and Iinstantly felt connected to
Nicole.
(01:24):
Maybe it's because so many of usin this community understand
what it's like when one piece ofinformation suddenly reframes
your entire life story.
So settle in, because this is areally powerful conversation.
Corey (01:42):
Hey Nicole, welcome to the podcast.
SPEAKER_02 (01:44):
Hi, hey guys, thanks for having me on here.
Corey (01:47):
I'm so intrigued by your story because as we just talked
about a couple of minutes agobefore we started recording,
like I did go on your TikTok andclicked on a few posts just to
know a little bit.
I'm like, whoa, there's a storyhere.
A lot going on.
But so let's rewind to yourchildhood.
SPEAKER_02 (02:04):
So to get background, I was raised in
Maui, Hawaii.
So if you've ever been there,it's a very small island.
And I was there pretty much mostof my life.
I'm 26 now.
Yeah, I was growing up there.
I'm the oldest of three.
So it's me, my sister, mybrother, and then our two
parents.
And my mother is Indian, and thedad that I was raised with is
(02:28):
white.
So it was the three of us withour two parents.
And we had a pretty, very, Ithink, blessed childhood living
in the islands of paradise.
Very beautiful.
That um yeah, growing up, it wasvery, I would say also remote
because people that you wouldcome across would be either
tourists or people that wouldn'tstay very long.
So I think a lot of it was justvery remote and secluded.
(02:51):
Are your typical averageAmerican experience can't be
compared to how it is living onthe island because it's just
totally different type oflifestyle.
And so a lot of it grew up waslike around Pacific Islanders,
you know, Hawaiians, Sumoans,Tongans, lots of Japanese and
Chinese influence, a verycultural mix, but you wouldn't
have come across a lot of peoplethat looked like me or my
(03:15):
mother.
So okay, it was kind ofinteresting place because you
were considered like theminority, right?
Corey (03:20):
What did you know about your birth?
SPEAKER_02 (03:24):
I knew that I was conceived in Texas.
I was born actually in NorthCarolina, so we were living
there.
I think my parents were livingthere for a bit, and then we
actually moved to Hawaii shortlyafter.
But I knew that I did take so mymother had told me that I took
after my grandpa's or her dad.
(03:46):
And he actually had passed awaywhen she was young, and so I've
seen pictures of him, and heisn't the dark, just darkest me,
but if not darker.
And people may not realize this,but Indians are a very diverse
type of people.
You can have northern Indians orvery light skin, you can have
southern, which is my mom is, soI'm half south Indian, so they
(04:07):
can be very dark, they have alltypes of features and hair
textures.
So I knew that what I was toldis that I really took after my
grandpa, and so that was thereason behind like how come I
don't look like my siblings,right?
So maybe I just didn't get anyof my dad's features, and I
think that's just something thatI when my parents tell you
(04:27):
something, you believe it at ayoung age, and I think uh that's
just how it goes when you'regrowing up.
And for me, I was raised in aconservative Christian
household, and also I washomeschooled.
My view of any outside knowledgeis already limited because I'm
so I was homeschooled up until Iwas in high school.
Corey (04:49):
One home.
SPEAKER_02 (04:51):
I actually had to beg my parents to let us go to a
public high school because I hadmore friends, a young teen.
Up until that point, yeah, I washomeschooled.
Corey (05:00):
It's so funny how the little things just like tie back
to our story, like the NorthCarolina thing.
So one of Kendall so Kendallfound out he's the oldest of
seven.
Oh wow and one of hishalf-brothers lives in North
Carolina, and his uncle andcousins moved to North Carolina.
SPEAKER_02 (05:17):
That's so crazy.
Kendall (05:19):
No, it's where in North Carolina is so my brother lives
near Asheville.
Okay, but my uncle lives closerto the coast.
SPEAKER_02 (05:29):
Okay.
Kendall (05:29):
So yeah, I can't remember the name of the town
that my uncle moved to, butokay.
It's just it is crazy.
To your point, I remember I wentto a private Christian like like
nursery school, and then and theplan was for me to go to a
private elementary school.
(05:51):
And I remember because ofchurch, ironically, I was like,
Oh, but I know these other kidsfrom the public school.
Can I just go to that?
I had to beg my parents.
SPEAKER_02 (06:03):
Yeah, you know how it feels with like you just kind
of want to have differentexperience, and people just try
to tell you, oh, public school'sbetter, come make friends, and
you get excited and you want togo there.
Kendall (06:13):
So and I convinced them, and I went public school
from first through 12th.
So it worked.
Corey (06:20):
That's so cool.
That's so cool.
Yeah, it's just so bizarre,Nicole, that uh we've been doing
this for four years now, and wejust I'm speaking for both of
us, we feel this instantconnection with somebody, and
we're not in person right now,we're seeing each other, but
it's like we feel this instantconnection with everybody we
have on the show.
SPEAKER_02 (06:41):
I love it, I feel like it's meant to be sometimes.
I always feel like the thingthat I found out, it's like
there's almost like no suchthing as coincidences, which is
meant to be to like be revealedand things like that.
Um, so yeah, I totally agree.
Kendall (06:55):
And that's totally how I feel.
Kendall's the opposite.
Docs are more pessimist and notpessimistic, but what's the
word?
Skeptical.
Skeptical, a little skeptical.
Corey (07:04):
Yeah, whereas I'm mystical.
That's a good combo though tohave.
As a kid or growing into ateenager, did you ever have an
inkling that something was justnot right?
SPEAKER_02 (07:14):
So the interesting part is that people always would
ask me, like, are you adopted?
Do you have a different?
I've always gotten questionslike that.
And I think it didn't reallysurprisingly enough, it didn't
actually bother me because Ifelt like I was so sure of
myself at the time and of myparents, and that I would trust
them to my full content, that Inever really thought about it.
(07:37):
And it's like I almost I wishthat I did, because then I
wouldn't have round out in sucha crazy way.
But I feel like just because Iloved my parents so much, and
you know those are your parents,and you want to be close to them
and a part of them, that yourbrain kind of just submits and
conjures up this thing of okay,then I must just be what they
(07:57):
are.
Yeah, and that was just kind ofmy line of thinking.
I honestly just never reallythought anything was up, which
is crazy.
Kendall (08:06):
I totally get it though.
SPEAKER_02 (08:07):
I was just a very dark-skinned Indian woman, and
that I just didn't have anywhite features from my dad, and
that just was I I knew thatgenetics could be very wild and
crazy, and sometimes you'll havetwo parents to have a dark
child, and it's oh but I thinkbecause my parents myself, we
never they never approached meand said made any comments, and
(08:29):
I never went to them and said,Hey, this person asked me if I'm
adopted, is that true, mom?
I never asked them and theynever came up with those
conversations never reallyhappened.
I think with when you grew up inalso an Indian household, my mom
came from India and married mydad at a very young age.
And so growing up in more of theIndian household, those types of
(08:49):
conversations are not justsomething that just can be
easily discussed.
And I think my parents are verynon-confrontational people that
they like to say that they wantto talk about things and then it
doesn't come up and they kind ofjust doesn't happen or they
don't see it, and I think intheir own brain, it's let's just
not discuss it and let's justmove on and keep living because
so many things are happening inour life that maybe the way that
(09:12):
I look it wasn't their toppriority, and I think for me
either, it wasn't just somethingthat I was really concerned
about.
So that was custom how I feltgrowing up, even though people
always asked me or made fun ofme, I just was like, nope, my
mid dance Indians can be dark.
I feel like looking back, nowpeople are probably like, okay,
maybe they knew but didn't wantto talk or really told me that
(09:34):
was the other part was likethere was no one around me that
would have been able to be upfront and been like, Hey Nicole,
I think you should ask yourparents what's going on.
Not that's their job, but Idon't think I had anyone around
me that would be willing to talkto me about those things.
I've honestly growing up inMaui, there was a very, that's a
very small percent of blackpeople.
And like I said earlier, thereare usually going to be tourists
(09:56):
who come to the hotels and stay,and I'm not living in the
tourist area.
So I feel like if I had maybehad made some black friends,
they probably wouldn't have beenlike, okay, you're one of us,
but I didn't have any of that.
So I feel like just living in aplace where you're in their
minority, you're not aroundother people.
So it's like I didn't have noone to compare myself to if that
makes sense.
(10:16):
And also everyone in Hawaii isvery mixed, like all of them
were like, I'm half Japanese,I'm part Chinese, I'm more just
a very cultural mix of peoplethat I think I thought, okay, if
everyone's mixed and I'm mixed,maybe I just after my mom.
Yeah.
Corey (10:33):
Oh, was there a DNA test involved?
SPEAKER_02 (11:37):
Yes.
So last year, and I'll kind oftalk about how I even decided to
take an A test.
I've been posting on TikTok forabout a year now, and I actually
got married in 2024, September.
And so I wanted to share mywedding photos last year in
January.
And I was following along thisfunny trend where it's talking
(11:57):
about controversial things thatyou do at an Indian wedding or
that you don't do.
And so I made a joke by that Iwasn't marrying an Indian man
because my husband's white.
So it was like a funny jokeabout how I had an Indian
wedding, but not with an Indianman.
So I shared those wedding photosand it really blew up.
And I started getting commentsabout, oh, which one's Indian?
Are you Indian?
You look black.
(12:17):
There's no way you're Indian.
And of course, if I know I'vebeen I've heard those things
before, so I was like, didn'treally think much about it.
But it started to really blow upthousands of comments every
single day.
I would open up the app and Iwould have a lot of comments.
And some of them were genuine,some of them were also very
nasty and just very shrewd.
(12:39):
Online social media can bepeople could or easy to say
stuff that's very hatefulbecause they're behind a screen.
I started to post more about myparents that I was raised with.
I said, No, this is my mom, thisis my dad.
Um, and was like, oh man, peopleare being relieved.
They felt like they were whatthey're defensive about the way
that I looked, and that it waslike bothering people a lot that
(13:00):
I was saying that I was halfwhite.
And my husband's actuallyadopted, and so he he knows who
his parents are and he's metthem before, and he's taking a
DNA test before in the past, andso I thought eventually I would
take one just because I thinkit's an interesting thing to
know like what you are.
And I I also did get commentsthat were like, take a DNA test,
(13:21):
just post it and let us see.
Um and I was like, one damn, I'mtrying to be a content creator,
I think it would be good contentto showcase this story, and I'm
so confident let me just takeone anyways and post about it
and shut people up and p double.
And so in February, I purchasedit.
(13:41):
I did not tell my parents, sothe only people that knew were
my husband and my sister.
I paid for expedition shippingbecause I just wanted to know
the answer.
Hence, Sarah, so maybe that wasmy subconscious being like,
okay, maybe something's up.
I got the results back in twoweeks.
Um, I actually recorded myselfreading the results with my
(14:02):
sister and my husband.
And when I was looking at it, Ithink I still didn't make sense
of it in my head because I wasin just pure shock.
Because I'm seeing, yes, I'mhalf Indian, but the other half,
I'm like, where's the whitepart?
Where's the European?
And I started seeing when you'reAfrican American, you have
different parts that are likeall mixed up but equal to 50%.
(14:24):
So I was seeing 10% Nigerian,10% Mali, just a lot of West
African percentages, and still Iwasn't, I was still it didn't
hit me.
And my husband was like, No,that means you're half African
American.
And he's like, See, if you addthem all up, it's 50%.
And so, and so my sister waslike, I I think you need to ask
(14:47):
the source, I think you wouldask mom, you know, and uh she's
like maybe it was something thatshe was being mean to tell you,
maybe she's it was hard for herto get it out.
So I waited a day because I wasjust scared.
I was scared to confront her.
I just didn't want her to getmad that I took one.
(15:08):
And it's funny because myparents have always been weird
about DNA tests, like theydidn't have a huge interest
towards it.
I think when we would talk aboutmy husbands, we'd all talk about
that.
They didn't care.
Oh, that's cool, but like, whydo you care so much about what
you are?
So that's why I didn't tellthem.
And so I waited a day and I hada dream the night before I
called my mom.
(15:28):
And I had a dream that I waswalking down the aisle at my
wedding, and all of my guestswere there, but there was one
guest that I didn't recognize,and it was just some random
black man, and it really spookedme.
I woke up and it was 4 a.m.
And I look over to my husband,and he's also a wink, and he's I
(15:50):
just feel like this is justsomething that's gonna be really
tugging on your heart.
I he woke up and he was like, Ijust feel like this is gonna be
some type of breakthrough foryou or just something crazy.
And so I was like, Yeah, I thinkyou pretended to call your mom.
Go back to sleep, and so I callher, and we used to always
FaceTime her call, so it wasn'tout of the ordinary that I would
call her because they live inHawaii still, so I'm always
(16:11):
talking to them, and but I thinkshe knew something was up
because I usually call when it'safter the workday is done, and
so it was the middle of myworkday, and I work from home,
and I'm like, I must go my lunchbreak, let me call my mom, and I
call her, and she's like, Heyhoney, is everything okay?
And I was like, Yeah, so and sheactually knew that I went viral
(16:32):
on TikTok.
Um, so she knew that I wasgetting comments about these
things, and still she nothingwas coming out, like she didn't
say anything.
And so when I would tell herabout these comments, she was
like, Oh my gosh, people are socrazy.
And looking back now, and Iremember like when I was telling
her about these things, I couldtell it actually wasn't
bothering her that people weresaying that I was black.
(16:56):
So I think she was getting alittle bit worked up, but I just
thought it was because oh mygod, they're being so rude,
right?
So looking back now, I thinkmaybe she was still thinking,
Could it be possible?
So back to the phone call, Icalled her and I told her that I
took a DNA test after I wentviral, and I said it was really
cool to see that I was halfIndian, but the other half, mom,
(17:18):
I'm half African American.
Is it possible that I have adifferent dad from my siblings?
And then it was she took a pauseand she was like, Wow, yeah, I
think you do.
So her saying, I think you do,means she herself wasn't sure.
Which I'm like, okay, that and Ithought, okay, if she had kept
quiet about this, this just mustmean that she it was like a bad
(17:42):
encounter and that it just wassomething that was traumatic for
her.
When I had her shannot.
So I told her, It's okay thatyou didn't tell me for so long,
but I want to know the truthnow.
It's out there now.
She had told me the story oflike how they met, and it was in
Texas, it had happened when myparents were already married, so
the dad that raised me.
(18:04):
So they had came, she had justcome from India, and they my dad
had gotten her a job, and so shewas a cleaning lady at the time.
And I had to ask the time, and Iwas like, Mom, was it
consensual?
And she was like, Yeah, it was,but I think because it was such
a shock.
And I think when we're young, wechoose to do things that we
(18:25):
regret later on, right?
I think mobs can test the thingsthat we are not maybe not okay
with in the moment orafterwards, but we do it anyway.
And I think lines get blurredand then later on we feel
shameful, and a lot of Indianculture is based on shame, and
to come out with some of thiswould be like very, I think,
very hard for her to come outwith and share and probably be
(18:46):
like bring a lot of shame to herfamily and to herself.
So I can see why she didn't talkabout it, and I think that just
because she was so happy thatshe was pregnant, that she
really did think that I was likea reincarnation of her dad
because she loved her dad somuch and they were so close.
That's blessing with someonethat looked just like my dad.
(19:07):
There was no chance in hell thatmy bad would be able to contact
my mom.
And he himself didn't know atall that I even existed.
All it takes is one time.
And she told me all thosethings.
She I asked her, Do you rememberhis name?
And she that was the one detailthat she did actually remember.
So it just was so fascinatingthat she all these years that
(19:29):
she remembered his first name,and so I didn't have a last name
to go off of.
But I knew that okay, if he's inTexas, and what are the chances
that maybe he's still there?
Who knows?
And with the ancestry, it didn'tmatch me to him, but it actually
matched me to one of hishalf-brothers, my half-uncle.
And so I had that name, but thisperson had already passed away
(19:52):
back in I think 2020.
So I'm like, okay, how am Igonna find him?
So my husband was like, Okay,why don't you look at this
person's obituary?
Because it's gonna say who hesurvived by, and you might see
the name.
So I'm like, okay, so I'mbrowsing over, I'm Googling it,
I'm looking through it.
Because it this was like afterthe phone call was over, I'm
like, I want to find him, but Ididn't tell my mom, she didn't
(20:15):
know that I was gonna find him,but I just I need answers
because I learned to know sideof the story because my mom was
able to share some details, butnot a lot, because it was very,
I think, still traumatic for heras a young woman.
Age gap, too.
It's like it's it's hard to beopen about those things.
So I said, okay, I'm gonna do mydue diligence and find out on my
own.
(20:35):
And so I'm like looking throughit, and then I see like all
these names that because there'sthey're a big family, big black
southern family.
So I'm looking and I'm like,okay, and I see his name.
This is survived by, and I seethe first name, Rodney.
I'm like, okay, and then I seethe last name, Carter.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
So I go on Facebook and I'm likelooking because just like
(20:59):
there's so many people on Texas,like, I don't know how I'm gonna
find him.
Look, anyways, I just assumethat maybe he would be on there
because he was younger than mydad who raised me, but a little
bit older than looking, and thenI see some pictures pop up.
Again, it doesn't really hit mebecause I'm like, okay, yeah, I
don't really know.
And my husband's like, yeah, helooks like you.
And I see so I decide that Idon't want to message him and
(21:23):
scare him, but I'm gonna messageone of his daughters because I
feel like they're close to myage, they could probably relate
and be able to let him know.
So I find one of them, I findher Instagram, and then I
message her, and I was like,hey, you don't know me at all,
clearly.
I tried to make it not soundsuper scammy at all.
(21:44):
And I went outside, I just waslike, hey, I know you don't know
me.
But I recently took a DNA testand I found out that my biotech
is a different person.
My mom mentioned that sheremembers working with your dad
in in Texas, the chance thatthis could be my town, and let
me know.
And so I'm like waiting to seeif she's gonna respond.
And honestly, it only took acouple hours like that day.
(22:06):
She's I just talked to my dad,and he might be right.
And oh my gosh, I just was likeso anxious because I did not
think I was even gonna get aresponse the day of.
And so I'm like, Okay, and she'slike, What's your number?
I'm gonna call you.
And I'm like, Okay, we can call.
Kendall (22:26):
This is happening.
SPEAKER_02 (22:27):
And I felt like I'm gonna do this and let's just see
how the conversation goes.
And like she calls me afterwork, and then I just spill
everything about what hadhappened and me going viral and
like how our parents met andstuff like that.
And she's like, Yeah, I calledmy dad, and I he said he he
didn't know it all, but he hadremembered my mom, and he's oh,
(22:47):
was it the Indian lady?
Was it her?
But he remembered that she wasIndian, so I guess it was
confirmed that way.
And so it's just we all love herdad so much.
We know he's not perfect, butone thing about him is he's a
really good dad.
And if he had known about you,he would have learned to be in
your wife like a hundredpercent.
Cause he's like a really biggirl dad.
He loves his kids, and you canreally see it.
(23:10):
It's just what an amazing man hejust had.
All his kids are just superclose to him.
And I think that shows whenyou're a good parent.
And so she's like, he wants totalk to you.
And I'm like, okay, sure.
He can call me tomorrow duringmy lunch break.
And she's okay.
And she gave him my number.
It's a Thursday.
And so he calls me.
And I'm like, Hi, like, is thisNicole?
(23:32):
It's super proper.
Because it's so funny becausehe's not a pro proper person,
but like when he called me thisday, he was trying to be super
proper.
It was really funny.
So he said, Is this Nicole?
And I'm like, Yeah, this is she.
He must be pretty shocked aboutall of this.
And I'm like, Yeah.
And we talked for over an hour.
What?
He just was super genuine andnice.
I could just tell, like, all ofmy nerves I had leading up to
(23:56):
this was like, I feel like wentaway because he would just was
to make me feel verycomfortable.
And he was like, You havenothing to feel embarrassed
about.
I clearly didn't know, but Iwould love to be in your life if
you'll let me.
I've missed the last 25 yearsand I would love to be in your
life for the next 25 and more.
God willing.
And so just hearing that, I justwas like, wow, very happy to
(24:16):
hear that.
Because you never know what thereactions can maybe be when you
approach someone, they could belike, Well, I have enough kids.
I don't even want, like, youknow, away from me, you know,
because you never know.
And I knew that was the risk Iwas willing to take.
If they are not wanting toaccept me, cool, that's fine.
I just want to know what who heis, and I'll leave you guys
alone.
But the fact that they were justso accepting of me right away,
(24:39):
and they were like, You're oursister, that's your dad, and
just accepting was just like,wow, it couldn't have turned out
any better.
And so since that day last year,in Vedor, we've talked every
single day since then.
He just really got to know meand asked me questions and
stuff, and I sent him picturesof a little me, and he just he
(25:01):
knew that I was his right away.
He was like, Yeah, just no,there's no other reasoning.
And so I think some of his kidswere a little skeptical,
obviously valid, because like,why now?
Why am I here now?
And so they had asked if we werewilling to like take our
paternity test.
And I was like, at first I waslike, I don't know, because
everything was happening sofast.
(25:22):
And I just was like, okay, holdon.
But then as we started to talkmore, I'm like, you know what?
I want to be sure I want them tofeel comfortable.
They're gonna be like, if I'mgonna be in their life, they are
allowed to be like skepticalbecause that's their dad's
protective of him.
So I was like, you know what?
If it lets me have more peopleto love on and vice versa, then
(25:43):
let's do it.
I was ready to meet him inperson, and I was like,
actually, the month of that Iwas talking to him, I was like,
I want to meet him already, youknow?
I was pretty excited, and sofrom February until June is when
we actually met for the firsttime in person.
So again, it was happening veryfast because my dad's such a
loving person, though it hadhappened that way just because
of who he is, and he was like,Yeah, you can fly down here and
(26:05):
stuff.
And so I flew down to Texas withmy husband.
Um, and then I went like to thehotel that we're saying at, met
him in the lobby first becausewe were gonna go get lunch
together, and so he broughtflowers and he was like
recording because he was soexcited, and it was just such a
sweet moment because just seeinghim in person and seeing his
(26:25):
like characteristics andmannerisms.
I was just like, wow, like it'sso similar, and it was just so
crazy to like finally see likemyself and someone else, and I'm
talking like full and liketwins.
It was really crazy.
Just the way that he likes tomake jokes, he's super
extroverted, super funny, heloves talking to people, which
is a really sweet person, and uhit made me like so happy to know
(26:48):
like my biodad was someone thatI could look up to and just be
like have someone that was agood person that was I was a
part of, like I thought goodknowing that because I before
that I had to just assume thatit was gonna be just someone who
was a bad person, just so weknow never really know until we
need them.
And so when we met at and stuff,that one was done when I was
(27:09):
like, I think now's a good timeto take the returning test
because we're together inperson.
I did the Walgreens at home one,some you can buy in Walgreens,
so did the cheek swab and in thehotel, and then I think I got
the results back once I hadalready left Texas and I was
back in Seattle, but again I wasstill so nervous because I'm
like, what if we're wrong?
(27:31):
And then I went through all thisgetting to know this random man
for nothing, and I'm like,trying to be correct.
Oh my gosh.
But my husband was like, No,there's no way, like your mom
remembered his name, heremembered your mom, like
literally, who else could it be?
Yeah, okay, so obviously I tookit and was like 99.99 after
daddy.
(27:52):
I was like, but he was excited,he's supposed to celebrate and
stuff, and so once I took that,the other seven came around,
they were like, We're sometimesto be a part of your life, and
like you're our sister, andagain, like just very like sweet
people, and so I think it justreally shows like what a loving
family and stuff, and they'reall super like close and tight
(28:12):
with each other, like cousins,uncles, aunties, and everyone,
like that they are like, Hey,and a member, welcome, and I
think that was great to have.
Um, so yeah, that was just likea really crazy, but I think like
fulfilling year last year, justso much had happened that like I
(28:34):
just can't even believe it.
It feels so fresh in my mindstill, just because I'm like, I
still think about sometimes.
I'm like, well, what do youmean?
I have a different dad.
Because it's just mind-blowing.
Um but to be able to meet himand then meet my siblings, and
then I met my grandma on thatside before she passed away.
I just feel like everything kindof aligned up really well.
(28:55):
It really was like meant to be,and then even that later, like
towards the end of last orDecember, I had brought him to
Maui so that he could come andsee how I lived and what my
childhood was like, and so thatworked, very special for us.
I think like we grew even closerbecause he could just see like
how I grew up and like justthings that he didn't miss out
(29:17):
on, but I think just tounderstand like me as a person
more, and um even when I met himin person, I actually decided to
make this album of all mypictures from where I was like
since I was like birth, a baby,up until now.
And I left some pages blank sothat we could add some together,
like how I grew up, and that wasreally special.
(29:39):
But yeah, that trip to Man, Ifeel like I'm always gonna look
back on because like it was justlike so special and bonded so
well, and it was like 12 days oflike uninterrupted time with my
dad, and uh, which was like areally great trip.
And uh, our birthdays actuallyare very close, it's crazy.
So, like his birthday isDecember 7th, and mine's
(30:01):
December 15th, so we're bothlike Sagittariuses, and so I'm
not into the whole horoscope,but I do think it was crazy that
to know that like we had similarbirthdays, but he had asked like
what my birthday was earlier.
I was like, Oh yeah, it's inDecember, and he's oh my gosh,
like you're definitely mine,because in family there's a lot
of like people that haveDecember birthdays, like
children, his mom, to mygrandma.
(30:22):
So, like December is a very likepopular month for them.
Kendall (30:26):
Wow.
So your mother and your raisingfather, how what do they know at
this point?
SPEAKER_02 (30:33):
So they know that I went to go meet him, and they
were they understood.
They said this is something thatshe needs to go to, and I'm an
adult now, and like I can makethose choices for myself.
I think for my dad who raisedme, it was hard because I think
he assumed that it was gonna belike a one and done.
Like I was gonna go meet him andthen leave it and then not try
(30:54):
to like make plans and pursuelike this relationship.
So I think he was a little bitlike off put oh, she really
wanted to like have be in hislife.
So I think it was hard for him.
And I think understand, like healso is like learning about this
for the first time himself.
Like, I think he always had likesuspicions that maybe that I
wasn't his, but to him it didn'tmatter because I was still his
(31:16):
daughter at the end of the day,and like he still raised me like
nothing else was going on.
So like I have so much respectfor that because I feel like to
raise someone that's not yours,but just to chair some and treat
them like you're they're yourkid is just like very admirable.
Now, I do wish that maybe he hadshared like those thoughts with
me.
Like, I maybe have a little bitof like an ink ring, but he
(31:39):
never did.
So again, I was like blinded tothat.
I think people had asked himtoo, like, is not going on
years?
And he said it doesn't matter ifshe wasn't.
I think to them, like theydidn't really communicate that
to each other, it couldn't havecame up.
And I think when my parents likealso had their own like marital
problems that like that didn'talso really come up.
So I think when I went to like ameeting and stuff, it was they
(32:02):
had again they respected it, butI think it was still hard on
them to know that like I wasdoing this step, and I think
like for my mom, she felt like Iwas gonna have a new family, and
that I was leaving them, andthat she loves her kids and
she's very protective of herkids, and so I think she felt
like I was slowly like losingthem, and vice versa.
(32:23):
Like they just I was just gonnahave a new family, and I was
like, bye! But that wasn't thecase at all.
I just wasn't what's best for mebecause it just was so much for
me to learn at 25 years old, allof a sudden, like wow, that's a
lot to like to realize.
And so I was just trying toreassure them like I have to go
do this, and you guys know me.
(32:44):
I'm like someone who wants to,like, if it's yeah, it's uh it
felt fast to them, like theywere like, Oh, it's too soon,
you can't go meet it's too soon,too soon.
But we understand, but I'm like,You guys know me, like I don't
think things are ever too soonbecause I feel like I found out,
but is it really too soon?
Because I didn't have 25 yearsof any of this prior knowledge,
so that's right.
(33:04):
To me, I feel like it was justright timing.
And I think it was good timingbecause I had already gotten
married, so I was in this newera of like my own family one
day, and near like family union.
And I feel like because I had alot more emotional maturity to
handle something like this, Ialways felt like it was like
probably good timing for mebecause I feel like if it had
(33:26):
happened maybe as a teenager,who really knows how that would
have unfolded and like custodybattles and all that messy stuff
that has happened, like whoknows?
So I feel like it was goodtiming for me to find out, and
so even when he came to Mauitoo, it was a little bit of a
shock.
I told him, like, I was like,it's about to be a year before
(33:48):
because it was December, and I'mlike, it's about to be a whole
year since I found out.
So I'm like, I'm like, I gottado this.
So I'm like, that was kind oflike their life thing, but I
think just like as parents, Ithink they understand like that
is really important, and my dad,he's older now, and it's like
we've lost so much timetogether.
(34:08):
I want to be I just like lovebeing around him so much, and
just feel like I want to haveall those years back, and I want
to be able to have new memoriesand stuff, and so I think
hopefully they were able toreally understand that in that
way for me, and like they knowlike we're gonna do what's best
for Nicole, and like if this iswhat she wants, then we know
we'll allow it.
Corey (34:30):
Great, it's such a beautiful story.
Yeah.
So, Nicole, please do us afavor, give your husband a hug
for us for being a greatsupportive spouse.
The last question that we alwaysask on the podcast is when you
were going through thisdiscovery, is there a song or a
musical artist or a genre thathelps you progress through this?
SPEAKER_02 (34:52):
It's a good question.
Okay, genre, yes.
So in Hawaii, we love Hawaiianreggae.
And so there's this one songfrom this local band, and it's
called Liliana.
And the song is about this guysings about his daughter just
loving his daughter and how he'saway from her.
When you're in music, you're ontour, you're doing this, you're
(35:12):
away for a long time.
One of the lyrics is yourdaddy's coming home.
And so I had we were in the carone day picking up from the
airport, picking my dad up, andhad came all randomly.
Okay, and so we started to play,and he's in the front seat next
to my husband, and he starts tocry and tear up.
I'm sorry, guys, this song isjust so special, and like to be
(35:34):
here, like where you grew up,was just like so amazing.
And so that song I feel was justsomething that like really spoke
to him and me, and like it'ssuch a beautiful song.
But it's um, it's called umLiliana, and it's back, it's by
um Maole.
Um, but yeah, it's a Hawaiian umreggae band, and they're
amazing, and actually from Maui.
And so I feel like that songreally speaks to us because it
(35:55):
talks about missing your lovedones, missing your daughter so
much, but like reassuring herthat I'm gonna be there, I'm
gonna come back to you soon, andlike that whole reading.
Corey (36:04):
I love that.
That's a little cool, great.
Thank you so much for sharingyour story.
SPEAKER_02 (36:11):
Not much to dish out, but I feel like it's such a
beautiful story, and I just wantpeople to feel that like these
things do happen, and like wecan let it like crumble or shake
our world, but really be able totake control of and realize like
you're not alone, and thesethings can always have like a
beautiful ending, and like Ifeel like reunions with like
your parents and family isalways a special thing because
(36:32):
it's like more people to likelove on you.
That's like what people say,yeah, more people to love on
you, and vice versa.
Kendall (36:38):
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of
Family Twist.
Nicole's story is such areminder that DNA discoveries
don't just uncover names andpercentages, they uncover
emotions, histories,relationships, and entire parts
of ourselves we never knewexisted.
What really moved me aboutNicole is how open-hearted she's
remained through all of this.
(37:00):
It would have been easy to letanger or confusion take over,
but instead she's approachedthis journey with curiosity,
compassion, and a realwillingness to hold space for
everyone involved, including theparents who raised her and the
biological family she's onlyrecently found.
And honestly, hearing her talkabout finally seeing herself in
(37:20):
someone for the first time,seeing shared mannerisms and
personality traits that hit mehard.
A lot of people in our communityknow exactly what that feels
like.
There's something incrediblypowerful about recognizing
yourself and another human beingafter spending years wondering
where certain pieces of you camefrom.
(37:41):
We're really grateful to Nicolefor trusting us and all of you
with her story.
If this episode resonates withyou, please make sure to
subscribe, leave a review, andshare it with someone who might
need to hear it.
And as always, remember familysecrets are the ultimate plot
twist.
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