November 18, 2025 • 45 mins
What if your body isn’t broken—just brilliantly protective? We sit down with sexual empowerment coach Kris Hall to explore how pain can replace pleasure, why the nervous system learns fear so quickly, and how to patiently re-teach it safety, turn-on, and joy. This is a frank, fun, and deeply practical conversation about rebuilding desire from the inside out.
Kris shares the moment her sex life flipped—from confident, curious, and connected to years of pain during penetration. Doctors and devices didn’t solve it. What did: somatic healing, nervous system rewiring, and small, repeatable practices that restored trust in her body. We unpack five tools she teaches—breath, sound, movement, energy, and intention—and how they unlock energetic orgasms, amplify arousal, and bring the mind along as a willing partner rather than a saboteur.
We also venture beyond the bedroom: exhibitionism within consent-forward spaces, nature as an arousal supercharger, the playful mango-in-the-shower story that turned into a group ritual, and the island romp that made all the healing worth it. Sex magic gets a clear, grounded explanation—manifestation powered by sexual energy—plus how to use altered states ethically, whether through microdosing or breathwork that can mirror psychedelic openness without leaving your body behind. Kris demystifies cervical orgasms, reframes substances with nuance, and shows how podcasting led her from curiosity to calling.
If you’re craving practical tools, fresh language, and permission to want more, this conversation is your map back to a turned-on life. Listen, share with a friend, and tell us: what belief about sex are you ready to release?
Kris Hall is a Sexual Empowerment Coach, podcast host, and pleasure activist on a mission to help people create the sex and relationships they crave. After losing access to her own pleasure, she now guides others in reclaiming theirs. With over 1,000 hours of training in Tantric Sex, Women’s Sexuality, and Somatic Experiencing, Kris blends deep wisdom with bold honesty to help guide you through your own pleasure revolution & back into that full f*ck yes feeling of aliveness!
Open yourself up to your unlimited orgasmic potential with her free 15 minute pleasure activation!
https://www.krishall.ca/the-pleasure-portal
Ready to feel that fully alive, vibrant f*ck yes energy again? Work with her 1:1!
https://www.krishall.ca/coaching
Listen to her podcast: “I’ll Have What She’s Having” for multi-orgasmic, heart-thumping, soul-expanding, “I can’t believe this is my life” kind of vibes!
https://open.spotify.com/show/2AqCjI7Qq5l9l0hEJ95jsM?si=99f3b38f50e7496b
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Marvin (00:00):
Welcome to Filthy Little Secrets, the show where real
everyday women get real aboutsex.
We're here to shatter stigmaand trample taboo one candid
conversation at a time.
My name's Marvin, but myreaders know me as Morgan Hale,
filthy romance author.
And I'm your host for thisheart-to-heart chat about
something most of us thinkabout, dream about, and even
yearn for.
(00:21):
But few of us feel comfortableadmitting it, talking about it,
or celebrating it.
So let's get filthy together.
Hey everybody.
Um I have a super fun guest toshare with you today.
And this came about because I'ma member of a Facebook group
that's a bunch of podcasters,like 75,000 members.
(00:42):
And I've been in this group forI don't know, maybe six months,
I'm not sure.
And when I came into it though,I mean I immediately thought,
I'm not sure I'm in the rightgroup because when I was
searching the group for anybodywanting to talk about sexuality,
there was nothing.
And even right now, like if Isearch the group for the topic
sex, I get one result, andthere's nothing in the post that
(01:03):
says anything about sexuality.
I don't even know why thisresult comes up in the search.
And so I was like, oh my gosh,I'm sure they're all wonderful
podcasts, but they're about verynon-sexual topics.
Lots and lots of podcasterstalking about everything but
sex.
But Kris showed up in thisFacebook group with a post about
her podcast.
I'll have what she's having.
And uh and I just it lit me upbecause I'm like, this woman has
(01:27):
just stepped in here in thislike where we all participate,
apparently in this Facebookgroup.
I mean, you know, not to throwtoo much shade on the group, but
where there's no conversationon the topic as though none of
us ever think about sex or orhave sex.
And she's like, I'm I'm showingup and I'm gonna open this
invitation up that I'm here totalk about it.
And I just love that so muchbecause I there's so much more I
(01:49):
know going on in betweenpeople's ears and in their
private labs, but I think thelack of conversation about it
contributes to you know thefeeling of shame.
So I reached out to Kris and Iwas like, Hey, I know I'm a
total stranger, but would you beyou know interested in coming
on the show to talk about it?
And can I share a little bit ofwhat you wrote back?
Because to me it was just I waslike, Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
So she was like, I love toshare, and it's such an
(02:11):
important piece of dismantlingthe shame around sex and
normalizing all of ourexperiences.
And I was like, oh my god, thiswoman was so perfect for this
show.
So yes, I'm super excited thatyou agreed to come and talk.
So thank you.
Kris (02:24):
My pleasure.
It's funny, like you're talkingabout like, oh yeah, people
don't post on this Facebookgroup very often.
And I'm like, I actually didn'teven think about it.
I was just like, yep, this iswhat I'm looking for.
This is what my podcast isabout.
Like when I post on socialmedia, I like see like an echo
chamber of all these otherpeople posting about sexuality.
So it's funny, I don'tnecessarily see that.
Marvin (02:42):
Yeah, um, I love that you just like stepped into a
chamber that wasn't reallyechoing that very much, and you
just to me that's magical andpowerful.
And and I'm certain there'sother people who saw your post,
and even it's a little bit likeyou said, you know, if it
dispels a little bit of shameevery time we do it, I just
believe that it's it's powerful.
(03:02):
So yeah.
I had also been looking at onyour website Kris Hall, which uh
for anyone that's interested,of course, this will be in the
show notes too.
But Kris Hall's K-R-I-S-H-A-L-Ldot ca is her website, and she
has an about page where I wasreading it, and I got emotional
reading this because to me I Ihear someone who you know at one
(03:26):
point in your life you were youfelt this like liberation
around your sexuality, and thenyou had an experience that it
depends on how comfortable youare sharing.
I would love to hear you knowmore about your experience as
like a shutdown, and then youhad this like come back fight
just to be like, I'm going toexperience pleasure in my
lifetime, whatever I have to do.
Kris (03:48):
So yeah, I'm happy, I'm happy to chat about it.
Um yeah, so I was young andactually me and my friends we
used to say young and dumb andfull of cum.
Um and I loved sex and I hadalready had quite a few partners
and some deeper explorationsthan most other people my age.
(04:10):
And I felt really confident init.
And yeah, I just loved it as amethod to connect, as we all do.
And yeah, I can actually like Ican narrow it down to like the
afternoon when like it started,and then it just like amplified
more and more.
So it was it was pain, right?
And it was so psychosomatic,which means like it was coming
from my body, it was coming frommy mind, and like my mind was
(04:32):
compounding what was happeningin my body.
And yeah, I just startedexperiencing pain where there
used to be pleasure, especiallyduring penetration.
And it was awful.
It went on for five years atleast.
Um, I think I keep saying fiveyears in my bios because like
that's what it feels like.
That's definitely how long itwas, but like I just couldn't
(04:52):
get out of it and it got worseand worse and worse.
And later on I realized, andand through like lots and lots
of work, I went to doctors.
I went and like there was onedoctor who gave me like a bunch
of different size, like waxdildos because she thought that
would solve the problem.
And I was like, I don't thinkthis is my problem.
I know some people that's whathelps, but like it just it was
like a complete rewiring of mysexual experience where like,
(05:16):
yeah, where there used to bepleasure, there's now pain.
And every time I had sex, itreinforced that narrative and it
reinforced that bodilyexperience.
And so it took a lot of likedeep nervous system work to get
out of it.
Marvin (05:28):
Wow, yeah.
Wow, God, that would I mean, Imean, I don't know, but for me,
just imagining what that wouldbe like being a sexual person
and how important that is to meto feel that like almost like
it's just slipping away from meand why this is so important to
me.
I mean, and I don't know whatyour spirituality is, but I
would be angry at God.
I would just be like, Thisfucking sucks.
(05:49):
Why is this happening to me?
Kris (05:52):
Yeah, yeah.
It was why is this happening tome?
Why is this like why me?
And like it starteddisconnecting me from like
myself, right?
Because all of a sudden Icouldn't have sex the way I
wanted to.
I wanted to connect, I gotexcited about somebody, we'd get
there, and then all of a suddenit was just too painful.
I couldn't have sex, and it wasjust yeah, it was insanely
(06:12):
frustrating and demoralizing,and I felt alone and afraid.
And yeah, I had so many momentsof why me.
Of course, now having you knowcompletely changed my career and
moved into a sexuality space,I'm like, oh yeah, that's why
me.
I needed to go through that, soI knew what was going on there.
Marvin (06:29):
Yeah, yeah.
Isn't it wild how I mean it'slike, yeah, I mean, I want to
look back at my life, thingsthat I went through that were
really hard.
Why did I have to go throughthat thing?
But it does now make sense.
Like if I was gonna, and I'm anauthor too, so I'm like, if I
was gonna write a book, youknow, and it was gonna have all
these elements, yeah.
I probably would have gonethrough that horrible thing and
(06:51):
this really painful thing inorder to become the person who
you know would live theauthentic life that I'm now
endeavoring to live, you know,and have the mission and the
purpose.
And so yeah.
So props to you for signing upfor five years of something so
hard so that you that cruciblethat you walked through in order
(07:12):
to be the person that you arenow.
Kris (07:15):
I walked through I walked through the hell and then I
walked through like two years oflike healing and like all the
work to get where I am now.
So yeah, it's always possibleto change it.
Marvin (07:26):
Well, so can we go back to before all that though?
Like just like you so you saidyou were young when you started
to discover that you were asexual person.
There are there certainmemories, like I don't know on
your on your website.
I guess this canoe experiencewas during that period.
Kris (07:44):
It's funny, I was writing down a bunch of like different
sexual stories.
I even had to like go look uplike the place in Asia where it
happened to be like, oh, Iwonder if I can get this detail
right or like this hostel,right?
I'm like, oh, let's shut downnow.
But I completely forgot aboutthe canoe.
Thank you for bringing that up.
Yeah, no, I once had sex in afloating canoe and being
Canadian, it's extra funnybecause we, you know, are
(08:05):
Canadian canoes, eh?
And um, and so we were out atmy family cottage on the lake,
and yeah, it was me and mypartner at the time.
Um, and this was the partnerlike right before all that stuff
happened.
And yeah, we just got reallyhorny in the boat and then just
like we were doing it like doggystyle, like as we were floating
down this like little part ofthe lake, and we like looked
(08:25):
around, it was like, okay,nobody's watching, so this is
fine.
Yeah, I'm such an ecosexual.
I still get majorly turned onby being outside.
Marvin (08:33):
Oh, yeah, in nature.
Well, no, I mean, I would thinktoo.
I mean, you're prettyimpressive just for the balance
that you would have to have.
Yeah, I'm still impressingmyself, right, and not like fall
in the water.
That's cool.
Do you uh I mean, so I mean,I'm just thinking about that
experience for me, because Ialso have a little bit of an
(08:55):
exhibitionistic side, you know,I'd say little, it's really
pretty intense, if I'm honest.
Has that been a theme for youor no?
It was just like you're innature and it's yeah, it's a
theme.
Kris (09:07):
Oh, for sure.
Especially like later on inlife when I'm like getting
better at having, yeah, moreexhibitionist sex, more ego
sexual sex.
Yeah, no, I've I've it's funny,I was I was in the sex room of
a party because in my localcommunity, there's a lot of
there's a lot of parties thatinvolve a sex room, which is
great.
Um, which you know, all theconsent has gone over and
everything, and it's a very safespace to play.
(09:28):
But yeah, so like lastHalloween, I was in the middle
of this sex room and there waslike a mattress dead center, and
there's like space around thewalls.
And so we end up getting like alot of voyeurism.
And I was just like after, andwe were oh, we like vortexed
into this experience.
There was four of us.
There was some wax play, therewas like somebody had some
vampire teeth.
It was great.
And we like vortexed into thisthis experience for probably
(09:51):
about four hours.
And it was only at like 4 a.m.
when I was finally like, oh, weshould probably go to the rest
of the party.
I was like, I'm not the personto be exhibitionist in the
middle of the sex room for fourhours in the middle of a party,
am I?
Oh no, wait, I've done thatbefore.
Never mind.
Nope, that's me.
Okay.
Marvin (10:06):
Turns out, yes.
Well, so okay, so you were soat this party, you were like in
the middle of the mattress andthere were people watching you,
or so that is what okay, I gotyou.
Kris (10:17):
Yeah, and then you're like, sorry, that does the
boyism side.
Yeah.
Marvin (10:20):
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
So okay, so there you had thecanoe experience in your youth.
Look, when did you do youremember like a moment in your
youth when you were like, oh,this is how this feels in my
body?
This is amazing.
I love this.
Oh, did you have like a kind ofa watershed moment where No, I
don't think so.
Kris (10:39):
It's funny, I like part of the reason I was drawn to
sexuality in like podcasting andin my career um was also just
when I was a teenager, I waslike, I was like weirdly
confident, you know.
Like I I had lots of closefriends who were like a little
bit nervous or like like nervousabout sex or nervous about
their bodies.
And I just remember being like,I'm not perfect, but like I
feel pretty good.
(10:59):
I like myself, I like my body,you know, like I got this, I'm
good.
And like I could feel that kindof sentiment spreading in my
friends.
And I was always the one tobring up sex.
Like I so I have this oneroommate and good friend who um
she didn't have sex, she's onlyhad sex with her husband, um,
and they're now expecting theirsecond child.
And she hadn't even given ablowjob before getting married
(11:21):
or before being engaged, really.
And so she like, and I would gointo her room and I would sit
down and I would like to tellher these stories and tell her
like these wild sexual stories.
And she's like, Kris, do I needto?
And I was like, Can I pleaseshare?
And she's like, Okay, okay.
And then years later, she comesto me, she's like, Kris, thank
you so much for talking to meabout sex because I feel so much
more comfortable now because ofit.
Marvin (11:41):
Right.
Kris (11:41):
I still remember she's like driving me home from
something, and we're like 26,and she's like, Okay, so my
boyfriend didn't believe thatI'd never given a blowjob
before.
So um teach me how to do it.
Marvin (11:50):
It's time, and I was like, Right.
I've been waiting for thismoment.
Kris (11:56):
I've been waiting.
But yeah, I was always thefirst one to be like, let's talk
about it and like be very, verycomfortable talking about sex.
So I didn't have like a cometo, like, oh my god, I love this
feeling, but it just alwaysfelt like, why isn't more people
talking about this?
And can we talk about this?
And like I wasn't the firstperson in my group of friends to
have sex by a long shot.
Some of my friends had sex atlike 14, and I don't think I did
(12:16):
it until I was 17.
Um, but I liked that I waitedand I felt really ready when I
did it.
Marvin (12:22):
So the experience where the you started to have the
pain, what age were you whenthat started for you?
I was twenty twenty two ortwenty-three.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you had a few years of youknow, like experiencing,
exploring, having sex in canoes.
(12:42):
Yeah.
Just I mean, long enough toreally grieve it, I'm sure.
But when did you start tobecause I would imagine it was
gradual that it came back foryou, right?
Or was it like an amazing,miraculous No, it was it was
gradual.
Kris (12:58):
And yeah, there was definitely a couple moments
where I like, and I knew it waspossible because I sometimes had
moments where it came back andI was able to have sex without
that pain.
Marvin (13:06):
Yeah.
Kris (13:07):
And that was like that was just so hugely important.
I was like, wow, okay, it'spossible, it's there, but how
can I do this consistently?
Yeah.
Why is this not my normal?
And like yeah, yeah.
So it was it was gradual.
Marvin (13:21):
Yeah.
Kris (13:22):
And uh yeah, so it was probably around like 27, 26, 27,
and I just started exploring.
And you know how it is withwhen something's wrong, like you
kind of go through waves whereyou're like, okay, I have all
this strength and courage andhope, and I'm gonna go try a
bunch of things, and then youget dejected because none of
them work, and then you kind ofgo back into like that more
depressive side.
And yeah, so I tried like apelvic physiotherapist that did
(13:43):
not work at all.
She was trying to tell me whatto eat, and she, I kid you not,
she attached electrodes to mylike pelvic floor.
So, like inside my butt andit's like inside my vaginal
wall, and then had me likesqueeze so that she could show
it on a graph.
And I was like, Yeah, dude,like I've got plenty of pelvic
floor muscles, I'm fine.
This is a problem.
Marvin (14:02):
Yeah, that's not what it is.
Well, but yeah, like uh I'll uhyou know what I love about that
story is you're like, I'm downto try it because I'm going to
figure this out.
So yeah.
Kris (14:14):
I tried it all.
I saw all the doctors, none ofthem helped, and then yeah, I
finally found the solution.
And yeah, it involves lots ofsomatic healing and lots of
nervous system rewiring and lotsof deeper, very subtle work.
Because it because it turnedout like it wasn't really the
pain anymore.
It was like I experienced painonce, and then I was so afraid
(14:35):
of the pain happening that likemy nervous system wired to fear
instead of pleasure, and so Ijust felt afraid and tense, and
there was just all of thatlayers upon layers of stuff.
Marvin (14:45):
Um, yeah.
Kris (14:46):
So I getting through that is a slow process.
Marvin (14:48):
Yeah.
Well, I guess you're a somaticpractitioner now.
Is that part of it?
Yeah, okay, cool.
Well, with the experience thatyou've been through and how
tremendously powerful it was foryou.
I could see how you're like,okay, I'm gonna learn to teach
this.
Kris (15:04):
Yeah, yeah.
And it was actually like thehealing and the teaching
actually happened like back toback because it was in one
program.
I found a teacher who like shewas just telling stories where I
was like, oh my gosh, that'swhat I want for my life.
And you know, like she painteda picture of women doing sex
magic in the forest, which issomething I do.
I actually lead retreats whereI take women through like sex
magic experiences andeverybody's you know, like
(15:27):
masturbating in the same roomand it's with a spiritual
context, and that sounds so farout of people's comfort zones
until they're experienced.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like I I remember hearingmy teacher talk about that kind
of experience and me being like,oh my God, I've dreamt that
this was possible, but this isactually possible in this
lifetime.
Okay, sign me up.
And like, so the beginning ofher program was all about that
(15:50):
like self-healing and self-work.
And so that's when I got to doall the work on myself.
And then so when we were, youknow, in the second part of the
program and I was learning howto do the somatic work for other
people, I was like, okay, I seehow this works, you know, like
you you've become so much moreadept at it when you've gone
through it yourself, obviously.
Marvin (16:07):
Yeah.
Can we dive into the sex magicthing?
I'm really curious about this.
A friend of mine told me thatshe was using her pussy in
pleasure to basically, it wasalmost like she was praying for
somebody, but she was channelingher sexual energy, and so she
was self-pleasuring, and she wastaking the energy in her body
and using it to you know sendhealing vibes to this person,
(16:30):
and something incrediblehappened.
And I can't remember the exactstory, but she told me about
this, and I was like, Where didyou even get the idea to do
this?
This is amazing.
I love this idea.
So I've heard one other personwho came on this podcast talk
about she used the term sexmagic, but where did this well,
okay?
So part of how this concept wasintroduced to you is this
teacher, you said, right?
(16:51):
For your experience with sexmagic, and how would you
describe what it is?
Kris (16:54):
Yeah, so sex magic is manifestation using rocket fuel,
which is your sexual energy.
So it's funny, the way yourfriend used it is yeah, like
it's not wrong, like you candefinitely use it that way.
I teach it a little bitdifferently, but I love that it
was like sending outwardprayers.
Um but yeah, so so sex magic,so first sexual energy, right?
(17:16):
It's very, very powerful.
It's one of the only types ofenergy in our bodies that we can
use and transform into otherdifferent types of energy.
And so, like, you can breatheit up like through the chakras
and like kind of transform itand turn on your entire body.
And what that does too is allowyou to be in your highest
state.
You are in all the positivity,all the joy, all the pleasure of
(17:39):
your being.
And what you're doing is you'recombining that energy and that
pleasure and that and thepossibility of this dream or
this prayer becoming true.
Right.
So, like a lot of people domanifestation by writing down or
by thinking about it, bymeditating on it, but adding
self-pleasure to the mix is thenext level.
And that's why it's called sexmagic.
(18:00):
Because like getting what youwant is about believing it's
possible and like making, likeactually removing the obstacles
in your way.
But then also like you need tohave that embodied experience of
it being safe, of it beingactually possible.
Because so much of the time,what people want feels so out of
reach because like our nervoussystem doesn't actually feel
like it's possible or safe tohave.
(18:20):
And so, yeah, this is this isthe safety, this is the
pleasure.
Like, of course, like you'reteaching your brain to move
towards the thing that feels sogood when you're mixing the
pleasure and the dream.
Yeah.
Marvin (18:33):
Yeah, I mean, because I'm since you're talking about
this, I'm just like, okay, Imean, if I think about it, and I
have played with this ideasince I had this conversation
with her.
Um but yeah, like when I'm inthat state of like really
intense arousal or orgasm, allthe analytical stuff, it's sort
of like that part of the brainjust cools off.
Kris (18:53):
Yeah, because orgasms are an altered state of
consciousness.
Yeah.
Marvin (18:58):
I love it, I love it.
Well, okay, so since you havereclaimed your sexual power and
your pleasure in your body, Imean, have there been some
experiences that you've had thatyou're like, this is what I
fought my way back for, is formoments like this.
Kris (19:14):
Oh, totally, yeah.
And it's funny, a lot of theminvolve nature and some of them
involve psychedelics.
But yeah, definitely.
And so I met my current partnerlike right after I did all like
the deep healing work, and hewas able to meet me on like a
whole different level in sexthat like I hadn't been on
before.
So maybe I hadn't beenattracting someone on that level
(19:36):
before, but all of a sudden,everything seemed so possible.
And that was two and a halfyears ago.
And so yeah, I've just beenhaving the wildest sex, and
we're we're not a monogamoustoo.
So like I've had a coupleexperiences outside of that.
And uh yeah, so there's acouple that it would be amazing
to mention, but yeah, one ofthem was we took like some some
(19:58):
micro micro doses of mushrooms,as we like to do sometimes.
And um, we like to kind of likeaccess a deeper state of
relaxation and connection andeven like that feeling of seeing
each other as divine.
Um, and we went to this, wecanoeed over to this like small
island.
We were just like kind ofsearching out on like our uh my
(20:19):
family's like the lake that thatmy family cottage is on.
So we're just like canoeing outto like find what kind of rock
or island could we find?
We want some privacy, but wewant to be out in nature.
And so sure enough, we foundthis perfect island where
there's like a ring of treesaround it and this little like
stage in the middle for us.
Perfect.
We park there and we spendprobably like five hours just
(20:40):
deep diving into like just crazystates of like energetic orgasm
and like just there's parts ofus that come out that we're
like, who are you?
But that's okay, we're gonna gowith it, and like, oh yeah,
that's probably one of myfavorites, where it's like, fuck
yes, all the work wasabsolutely worth it for this
moment.
Marvin (21:00):
Yeah.
And when you say energeticorgasm, some listeners are not
gonna necessarily know what thatmeans.
Like, could you explain if it'sexplainable what what that's
like to experience and what youmean by that?
Kris (21:15):
Yeah, yeah.
So um it's like it's a littlebit harder to distinguish, I
find, with women and with pussyowners because we tend to our
orgasms look like so manydifferent things.
Of course, everybody can orgasmin so many different ways, but
we like sometimes I kind ofconflate the two.
I'm like, well, my the orgasmwas really intense and it was
(21:35):
everywhere in my body, but Ialso felt it in my vulva.
So, like, is it an energeticorgasm?
But with men and penis owners,it's really, really, it's really
straightforward.
It's they had an orgasm andthey didn't ejaculate, right?
And it's a full body experiencewhere like it's like every
single nerve ending and yourwhole body is just like flexing.
(21:56):
And it it feels different everytime, right?
Because you can orgasm fromyour breasts or from your ears
or from your feet or from yourarmpits.
Um, but a full body energeticorgasm is kind of what it sounds
like.
It's you're orgasming from yourentire body all at once.
Um, and it's more on theenergetic side, right?
Like it's not necessarily thatclenching, it's it's like
ripples and waves of energy.
(22:17):
Yeah.
Marvin (22:18):
Very cool.
I don't know that I've reallyever experienced that.
So, how did you tap into thatfor yourself?
Like where what was yourdoorway into was this the
teacher that you were talkingabout?
Kris (22:28):
That yeah, definitely the teacher.
And then I've started to teachthis to other people now too.
Because yeah, the teachertaught all the students to be
teachers to go, you know, bringout the sex witches into the
world.
Marvin (22:38):
Yes, yeah, spread the good news.
Kris (22:40):
Spread the good news.
The female punch of revolutionis here.
Marvin (22:44):
Uh uh yes, absolutely.
I'm willing to.
Well, cool.
Okay, so that was your doorway.
If you were to describe whatthat is, I guess there's
probably multiple modalitiesmight be involved in what you
are studying.
Kris (22:55):
Yeah, so there's multiple different techniques.
Um, and there's like probablythere's probably like up to 10
or 12, like unique, different,like I would call them sexual
tools, and I'm not talking aboutdildos that you can use.
And they're they kind ofsurprise some people.
So, like the first one isbreath, right?
Like doing breath work,breathing in and out through the
mouth is really powerfulbecause like it gets you out of
(23:17):
your head into your body, andyou start to just feel
everything on a deeper level.
Even sounding.
Sounding is the second one,like actually making noise.
I know sometimes we think it'slike a performative thing, but
it's actually really, reallyit's it's letting out emotions
and it's it's making you presentand it's like you're sounding
the different pieces of you thatfeel different things.
Um, the others would bemovement.
(23:40):
So like allowing your body tomove.
Because I know that sometimes,especially pussy owners, we lock
up and we like, okay, and likewe tense and we tense and we
tense.
But uh yeah, so movement isanother one.
Um, energy, learning to moveyour energy around.
Um, I know that that's likedirectly related to energetic
orgasms, but there is ways toteach yourself and to learn how
to like actually feel the energyand move the energy through
(24:02):
your body.
And like another, I think Iwould mention like top five, the
fifth one would be intentionthat like you have an intention
to go somewhere, you have anintention with your pleasure,
and that's a really powerful wayof like getting there because
your body knows where you wantto go and and brings you there.
Marvin (24:16):
Gotcha.
Very cool.
And I've kind of wrapped upseveral months of doing this
like kundalini activation workever since then.
The like movement of energy inmy body has been next level.
It's and I definitely notice ifI'm self-pleasing that yeah, I
can feel every just all over mybody really.
It's like it all startshappening.
(24:37):
So I wonder if like I'mteetering on some of what you're
talking about, because um, Ifeel like some of those pieces
that you're mentioning arethings that I've been not with
that intention of of having thatexperience.
I've just been playing withthose pieces for different
reasons.
But yeah, it has been showingup.
Like when I saw pleasure, youknow, it's like, oh, there's all
that.
That's here it is.
Kris (24:57):
Yeah, kundalini energy is a really powerful way to use
your sexual energy and move itthrough your body.
And yeah, you're definitelyteetering on energetic orgasms
then.
You're almost there.
Marvin (25:06):
It's gonna happen.
Very cool.
Okay, well, so you had thisawesome island experience with a
ring of trees.
I mean, that sounds almost likethe trees grew up just to
witness that moment with you andyour partner.
That's really cool.
Are there other experiencesthat you would like to share?
Kris (25:23):
That yeah, yeah.
So there's there's two thatcome to mind.
The first one is oh, they'resuch different flavors.
So one of them involvesdressing up like a goblin and
wearing butt bogs for way toolong.
Um, I'll get to that onesecond.
The first one is this okay.
So I had a sexual experiencewith a mango, and it was
(25:46):
absolutely superb.
So I was in Peru and I was bymyself at this hostel, and I
had, again, a little bit ofmushrooms, and I really needed
to use up the mushrooms before Igot on the flight because I was
gonna go see my partner for thefirst time in two months in
like 24 hours.
And so I had this soloexperience, and it's this tiny
little town in the middle oflike desert sand dunes in Peru.
(26:08):
And, you know, there's there'sno privacy.
I'm in a dark dorm.
So when I decided I reallywanted to eat this mango, there
was this juicy, juicy mango thatI bought from down the street.
And I was like, I want to eatthis with my whole body, my
whole soul.
These mangoes in Peru are sogood.
Like, I've never tasted mangoesthis good.
I was like, I need to fullyhonor this mango's juiciness by
(26:28):
eating it with all of me.
And the only way I can do thatis by going into the bathroom
and going into the shower andeating this mango, buckass nude.
So I go into the shower and I'meating this mango and it's
dripping down my body.
And uh and yeah, I bring myselfto orgasm a couple times, and
it's it's just a very strong,intense experience.
And like I even had momentswhere I was like, I touched my
(26:52):
own levels of shame, like myupper barriers where I was like,
oh, is this like too much?
If I told somebody about thisexperience, would it be like a
ridiculous experience wheresomebody looks at me and thinks
I'm crazy?
Um but yeah, I kept going, Ipersevered, it was amazing.
And then the best part about itis that I then brought it back
to my community and we did it ina group.
So I brought it up.
Marvin (27:12):
So everybody gets a mango.
Yeah, I love this.
I'm like picturing this, likeeverybody gets their mango,
everybody.
I mean, I guess everybody'snaked, and these would have to
be good mangoes.
Did she bring back goodmangoes?
Kris (27:23):
Is that what so we didn't have great mangoes because it
was July in Canada, so we usedwatermelon, but it got really
sticky, and yeah, I I introducedit with this story and had
everybody like do this soloexploration, and then I could
see the energy starting to likemingle, and it was like, all
right, guys, let's go.
And so we all just likecoalesced beautifully, and
people were licking each other,and like, and the number one
(27:44):
comment was, uh, I don't think Ican ever look at fruit again
the same way.
Marvin (27:47):
You completely changed it for which is amazing.
I love this so much.
Okay, so you you oh god, I'mjust like I'm going back to this
moment in the shower with themango, you know, kind of thing.
So when you said you broughtyourself to orgasm, was this
just your body responding toyour intention and the
experience of eating the mango?
Kris (28:09):
I'm I definitely had some clitoral stimulation involved.
Marvin (28:12):
Oh, okay.
Kris (28:13):
Yeah, like I definitely brought myself there with that
as well, but it was so closealready, you know, when you're
like you barely have to touchyourself, it's so turned on the
juices, the psychedelicexperience.
And of like, I truly like theonly way to give it full the
only way to explain it is to sayI was having sex with a mango.
Marvin (28:32):
Yeah, yeah, right.
Kris (28:34):
And that's that was ridiculous, but it was like I
highly suggest everybody try itbecause Yeah, don't knock until
you try it.
Marvin (28:41):
You'll never see fruit the same way.
Kris (28:43):
You'll never see it the same way again.
Marvin (28:45):
I love it.
I love that.
I mean, one of the things Ilove about you sharing the story
is like it will I I feel surethat sure some people are gonna
be like that's weird, butthere's gonna be people that are
gonna be like, what if that'spossible for me?
You know, because it's likeit's like I am certain that we
do we've only begun to tap intowhat's possible for us actually,
(29:08):
you know, because I mean firstof all, it's so tapped we didn't
even talk about it, but I don'tknow, I feel like it's a a
whole frontier that we've justbarely tapped into.
So there's lots of experiencesthat I haven't had yet, and I
know of them because I've heardsomeone else because I'm
interested, and I'm always likelooking into oh, well, what's
this thing?
But yeah, I mean, lots ofexperiences I haven't had yet.
I think I read somewhere whereyou mentioned cervical orgasms.
Kris (29:33):
Well, yeah, so like I was talking about the different
types of orgasms, cervical beingit's it's funny, I just led a
women's retreat and we were alltalking about pleasure and
talking about different types oforgasms, and like so many women
were so interested in cervicalorgasms in particular.
And it's just the very, veryend, right?
If you go and you touch thevery, very end of the vaginal
canal, that's the cervix, that'sthe opening to the uterus.
(29:53):
And it is a powerful energycenter where there's a lot of
tenderness, there's a lot ofenergy, there's A lot of trauma,
but also a lot of awakening.
There's just there's so muchthere, just like the G spot.
There's just so much energy inthose places.
And the orgasms that peoplehave, there's it's funny because
the statistics on this areabysmal, right?
Like mostly it says, like, ohyeah, most women don't orgasm
(30:16):
cervically.
But like it really is amisnomer because people don't
really know what it feels likebecause it feels different.
Like some people just fullyrelax in their entire bodies.
That's what happens to me.
I literally like collapse, andmy partner knows it's coming
because he'll find the spot andhe'll just like keep hitting it,
and then I'll just my wholebody will collapse and as an
orgasm.
(30:36):
And it looks different foreverybody, and it's like a
wildly sensitive, but yeah,wildly sensitive but powerful
spot.
Marvin (30:45):
Very cool.
One of the things that was kindof interesting to me reading
this bio on your website, youmentioned your podcast that the
more you learned, the more yourealized you didn't want to just
talk about it, you wanted toteach it.
It sounds like theconversations that you were
having on the podcast.
Has that podcast served you asmuch as it served your guests
and listeners?
Kris (31:03):
I definitely think so.
I think it had a lot to do withfinding my voice.
Um, because like I said, I wasalways like really down to talk
about sexuality.
And I was like the first one ofmy friends to talk about it.
And like if people like I didthat test where I'm like, what
are the four things that youwould like that I would always
talk about?
And people always saysexuality, and I'm like, okay,
cool.
So like everybody sees me thisway, just like I see myself.
(31:25):
Okay.
And with the podcast, I mean,it honestly started because I
was like super bored duringCOVID.
I was bored with my job and Ireally need a creative outlet.
And I just picked a topic outof like those topics that I
absolutely love.
And yeah, it was really alongthe way that it was more like a
wait, okay, who's gonna listento an engineer, which is my last
(31:46):
career, who's gonna listen toan engineer talk about sex?
Like, I need to have someexpertise.
I want to have some expertise.
I want to be bringing like newa new voice to the table instead
of shining the light just onother people, and which is a
great thing to do, but yeah, itwas like no, no, no, I want this
to be an educational thing andI want to be an educator on
this.
Marvin (32:03):
Yeah.
Kris (32:04):
So in that way, it did help.
Yeah.
Marvin (32:06):
So led you to your new career.
Kris (32:08):
Yeah.
Marvin (32:09):
Like your life's work, your passion, and that's
awesome.
I'm actually still in theengineering thing.
My hope is with my writing tostep out of engineering and then
to because I just want to,whether it's through this
podcast or books or whatever, Ijust want it to be a safe space
for the topic.
And yeah, so I love that youcreated for yourself in your
(32:30):
life here and it started for youwith your podcast.
It sounds like that's verycool.
You were talking about thatthere was a story about bat
plugs and dressing up as agoblin.
Kris (32:39):
Yeah, this one's fun.
So it was early into dating mypartner, and for some reason I
went full in on the idea that sowe were going to you're going
to a Shakespeare play, like amodified Shakespeare play, like
the Bard on the Beach kind ofvibe where you know they they
take a Shakespeare play and thenthey twist it somehow.
And this one was that they weregonna pretend that three
goblins were doing the entireplay, um, that they like break
(33:01):
into the theater.
And so we were going to agoblins-themed play.
And I decided that I wanted toanswer the door as if I was a
goblin, because of course I did.
I don't know.
I don't know why.
It was a playful thing Idecided to do at the moment.
So I put on a bald cap, I gotmyself some ears and like a long
crooked nose, and like I thinkI put on like a loincloth or
something.
I don't know.
And so I answered the door,like you know, like just pull on
(33:24):
like like golem style.
And I immediately think, ohGod, I cannot let this image
cement into this guy's brain.
He's only known me for a couplemonths.
Like, I don't want him topicture this goblin.
And so I immediately just likerip it all off after I think
better of it.
And I'm like, okay, yeah, let'sgo to the theater.
Um, and then we were foolingaround because I was also
(33:45):
wearing like very sexy lingerieat the same time.
So we were fooling aroundbefore going to the theater, and
he told me he had a buttplug-in, and I was like, Well,
I'm gonna put one in two then.
But I didn't really think aboutthis because his was a short
one, mine was a much longer one,and we were sitting down, and
so I'm stuck in this theaterwhere I barely understand it
because they're all speakingShakespeare out of giant
prosthetic goblin masks.
Marvin (34:05):
Goblin masks, yeah.
Kris (34:06):
And I've got this giant butt plug-in, and I'm thinking,
oh shit, this is okay.
And so I have to go to like,and of course, it's an outdoor
kind of theater, and so I haveto go to the porta potty to go
take this out.
And thankfully I brought alittle plastic bag with me.
But anyways, it was reallyfunny after the show when we're
like fully around outside, ofcourse, um, underneath this
tree, and we're like doing handstuff because it's dark and it's
(34:27):
a big tree, so it's fine, eventhough it's like decently close
to the public.
Yeah, and that's when he likereaches back and goes, Oh,
where's your butt plug?
And I went, Yeah, so aboutthat.
Marvin (34:36):
That had to come out.
Kris (34:37):
That had to come out.
Marvin (34:38):
Gotcha.
But I mean, yeah, nice.
I like your level of commitmentthat you're like, hey, you got
a butt plug, I'm coming with abutt plug too.
Kris (34:46):
I was like, What?
You can't have all thispleasure.
Oh, I mean, yes, obviously Iwant you to have this pleasure,
but I was like, I want that formyself too.
Marvin (34:52):
Exactly, right?
Yeah, nice, cool.
Um I feel like you've gotprobably lots of stories, and I
would love to hear all of them.
Kris (34:58):
I do, it's funny because like in the middle of the sexual
pain, so I did like a reallylong solo backpacking journey,
like right after the sexual painstarted.
And so like I did manage tohave some sexual experiences
that were really, reallymemorable and amazing.
And like I love to, you know,tell people how I threesomed my
way across Asia because I kindof did.
It was like almost in everycountry, it felt like I somehow
(35:19):
ended up in a threesome, andsome of them were completely
accidental, like like accidentalin a consensual way, but like
very much not planned.
Um that's kind of like yeah,that's kind of like the category
of like my sexual experiencesthat haven't really been talked
about here is like there's earlyand there's like more adult
ecosexual kind of vibe, Kris,and then there's like the middle
(35:39):
where it's like, yeah, I hadlots of sex in other countries
in weird situations where we hadto just make do with whatever
we had.
Marvin (35:45):
So when you say make day with everybody, so this was
during the this was during thepainful time where it was
difficult to, I guess, have likepenetrative sex.
Kris (35:54):
Yeah.
Marvin (35:54):
Gotcha.
So it was like, well then let'sget creative.
Kris (35:57):
Yeah, and also like it was it was a one-time thing so
often because I was always onthe move, and like, you know,
threesomes offer so many moreopportunities to be creative and
to, you know, I think I did I'mI'm bisexual and like I I
definitely did gear towardswomen a lot more during that
time period, I think, becausepenetration was so painful.
Marvin (36:15):
Right.
Kris (36:15):
Um and so yeah, it just it offered it's funny when I think
back, I'm like, I I guess therewas those moments where I
wasn't so wrapped up in the painand the fear, and I was able to
be a little more exploratory.
Um especially while I wastraveling and I felt that kind
of expansive adventure spirit.
Marvin (36:31):
Yeah, you know, actually, I mean, I'm gosh, it's
been probably five years nowthat I've been following Dr.
Jared Dispenza, these retreatsthat he does.
The power of it is like gettingyou out of your normal
environment, your normalday-to-day to to step out of
your life, and that that enablesbecause your body is just has
all this neuro wiring to yourenvironment and your usual, and
(36:53):
like if you can break that andyou can get out of it, that it
opens up this opportunity towrite new neural pathways, and
so yeah, like how cool for Ethat like you take some
traveling, and it's like, yeah,you have a new blank site almost
not blank, a lot of things openup for you in terms of being
able to create new experiences.
Kris (37:12):
Yeah, yeah.
So it was like I was around24-ish, and yeah, I spent eight
months in Asia and three monthsin New Zealand, three months in
Australia.
Yeah.
Marvin (37:19):
Did you have an experience during that time
where you were like, there'sstill doors for me, maybe not
the ones that I'm used to that Iwant to recover, but did it go
like that, or did you just flyright into it?
Kris (37:29):
And yeah, I remember flowing right in.
I I remember a lot of likefeeling like myself again.
I think that's that's one ofthe biggest things that I felt
like I lost was I didn't feellike myself when I couldn't act
on attraction, when I couldn'tbe that flirty person that I
feel like I am.
And yeah, like it was like Isaid, it was kind of like part
of my identity was really washedaway.
And yeah, there was thosemoments where I did feel like
(37:52):
myself.
And generally I was able tostill be myself up until like
the moment where the painhappened, and then that like
disconnection would would followthrough.
But there's definitely someexperiences that stand out in my
memory, and it's very possiblethat I kind of just blocked out
the part that feltuncomfortable, but that like I
was able to kind of, you know,let the other person do the
penetration side of it.
And like, and I I don't thinkI'd really identify that until
(38:13):
right now, that like thosethreesome experiences were
really expansive because Ididn't have to play all the
roles.
I got to be that third.
Um, and I got to play withdifferent parts of yeah, my
ability to be in these sexualsituations where I yeah, I guess
I just I was playing adifferent role.
Marvin (38:30):
Yeah.
I guess like I I mean, was itthat your body was relaxed and
that opened up?
Kris (38:35):
Yeah, and sometimes honestly it had to do with being
drunk.
Well, that's yeah, yeah.
Unfortunately, I just kind ofstarted to notice a pattern
where, like, you know, I'd getpretty drunk with some people,
and then there'd be someattraction, and then there'd be
some sex, and and that while Iwas in that state of
inebriation, I didn't have thecognitive cognitive functioning
to be able to even think aboutthe pain, and so it just didn't
(38:57):
happen.
And I don't know why I didn'tclue in sooner that, like, oh,
that's because it's coming frommy brain, it's not coming from
my body.
Like, my body's fully able toexperience pleasure, but my
brain is blocking it.
Marvin (39:07):
Yeah, uh, you're you're bringing this up.
Part of the reason why thisinterests me is I mean, for
myself, I was just so heavilyindoctrinated when I was
younger.
And even as a teenager, I wasjust so resistant to anything,
alcohol or any kind ofsubstance, you know, and almost
made it a part of my like mysense of identity that I don't
do that.
But I have definitelywitnessed, and it's taken me a
(39:29):
while, because I'm in my 50snow, that I've just seen with
others, with lovers, that likeit opens doors.
It absolutely does open doors.
And so I guess I don't knowwhat the question is that I'm
driving at, except that I'mwondering if you have any
thoughts about, yeah, I mean, itdoes, and here's why.
Kris (39:47):
Yeah, substances and sex.
Yeah, let's do it.
So what comes to mind is likethe when I was in my young 20s,
I realized that I hadn't had myvery first time with every
sexual partner that I'd had upto a certain point in my life,
every single time that it wasthe first time, I had been
drunk, or I'd had at least onedrink.
And I know that that's probablylike a confidence and like a
(40:08):
nervousness thing and likecooling the nerves, or like it
just tended to happen after barnights, or maybe I I did drink a
lot when I was younger.
I don't drink so much anymorenow.
So it's interesting, it'sinteresting just to note that
like in my younger life, Idefinitely used alcohol to help
kind of calm the nerves.
And I get that's used that way.
Um, and I definitely see thatat a certain point you stop
(40:28):
being able to connect.
And like even now, like evenafter one drink or two drinks,
I'm not connecting with peoplein the same way.
And so I actually would saythat alcohol limits your ability
to connect and limits yoursexual experiences.
But it does have a time and aplace where, yeah, it relaxes
you.
Like one drink can just relaxthe body, relax the mind, allow
things to flow just a little bitbetter.
So, like, yeah, it's good.
(40:50):
Me personally, I also getreally I have a lot of some of
my sexual pain actually comesfrom dehydration.
So that has stayed with me.
So if I'm dehydrated, it's alittle bit more on the painful
side.
And so, like alcoholdehydrates, and so that's not
great.
Marvin (41:06):
Yeah, right.
Kris (41:06):
Yeah.
But when it comes tosubstances, I'm kind of a yes to
that, as long as they're usedvery consciously and maybe in
smaller doses.
Like, I mean, I've told you acouple of my stories.
Like, I also have othersubstance stories that I
absolutely love that, yeah, wedid connect on a deeper level
because of the substance, butagain, it was done like together
and in a conscious way andoften in a lower dose so that we
(41:27):
can stay with our bodies andeach other.
Marvin (41:29):
Yeah, gotcha.
Interesting.
Well, I've yet to really um, Imean, my one story and it didn't
involve sex at all.
But I was at a burn, and uhthere was like a guy that came
up and he had I guess it was ablunt, I'm not even sure what it
was.
This is how not educated I amabout these things.
But he offered, you know, forme to take a hit off of this
(41:51):
thing, and I was like, sure, whynot?
You know, I'm here to have newexperiences and so like I took a
puff of it and I was likecoughing and then I was laughing
for 30 minutes afterwards.
I don't even know whateverything was amusing.
I have been thinking about thissome because I have noticed
that and it does seem like ithas to do with how relaxed the
(42:14):
person is able to be and just bein their body where maybe
without that it was easier to bein in their head, you know, and
and harder to just drop intofeeling.
I don't know.
These are things that I'mobserving from the outside
looking in, it's just maybewonders.
Kris (42:31):
And it's interesting too to to think about that breath
work can imitate certainsubstances, right?
So like certain types of breathwork actually were used to
replace LSD when LSD was bannedand less available in certain
decades, and that like that isstill one of the ways you can
use breath is to like deepeninto your body, into your
feelings, get out of your head.
And it takes a lot longer.
(42:52):
It's kind of like my my analogyis like walking up the mountain
versus like getting dropped offon the top with a helicopter,
but you can get there and it'sstill very, very, very powerful.
Marvin (43:01):
Cool.
Well, um, so for anyone who'slistening to this who would like
to know more about you, we'regonna put some things in the
show notes.
But do you have anything thatyou would like to share with
folks about, you know, here'shere's who I am, here's what I
have to offer, here's what wouldyou share?
Kris (43:18):
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm a sexual empowermentcoach, and you can find me at
chrishall.ca and yeah, we canwork one-on-one to help you
through any sexual blocks thatyou're having.
And I also do lots of women'sretreats, and I do have a free
gift for you if you're listeningand you'd like to try out some
of these techniques on your own.
(43:39):
The breath, the sounding, themovement, the energy.
I've got a little 15-minuteaudio for you to try out on your
own and to yeah, just startbringing more of that sexy
aliveness back into your life.
Marvin (43:49):
Oh, very cool.
Yeah, I think you might be thefirst guest who had a gift for
listeners.
I'll have it.
Um yeah, we'll have that linkin the show notes.
And then I know you've also gota podcast, right?
Kris (43:58):
Yes, I'm I'm so used to my podcast, you know, being the
podcast I'm talking on.
So uh yeah, it's called I'llHave What She's Having.
Um, and it's available whereveryou listen.
And we just hit episode number50, which is exciting.
Uh we just talk all thingsturned on, sexy life.
Marvin (44:13):
Love it.
Yeah, so if you want to listento Kris talk more about sexual
adventures, go check that out.
I know I'm going to.
Well, thank you so much forcoming on the show and for being
who you are in the world.
I love it.
I'm grateful that you are thisperson and doing the sex magic
that you're doing in the world.
Kris (44:31):
Yeah, thank you so much.
It's been such a pleasure totalk to you.
I love talking about this.
It's obviously one of myfavorite topics.
And uh yeah, thank you formaking sex more accessible and
more talked about.
And yeah, just uh helpingpeople feel like they're a
little bit less alone.
Marvin (44:47):
Yes.
Hey, thanks for listening toFilthy Little Secrets.
I hope we left you feelinglight, free, and inspired to
explore your filthy sexualhorizons.
If you want more, subscribe toget all the filthy feature
funds.
If you're a sex positive womanand like to burn another broad
change, I want to talk to you.
Wanna come on the show and tellyour story?
Head to MorganhaleBooks.comslash podcast to learn more.com
(45:14):
slash podcast.
Until next time, Morgan Hale.
Welcome to Filthy Little Secrets, the show where real
everyday women get real aboutsex.
We're here to shatter stigmaand trample taboo one candid
conversation at a time.
My name's Marvin, but myreaders know me as Morgan Hale,
filthy romance author.
And I'm your host for thisheart-to-heart chat about
something most of us thinkabout, dream about, and even
yearn for.
(00:21):
But few of us feel comfortableadmitting it, talking about it,
or celebrating it.
So let's get filthy together.
Hey everybody.
Um I have a super fun guest toshare with you today.
And this came about because I'ma member of a Facebook group
that's a bunch of podcasters,like 75,000 members.
(00:42):
And I've been in this group forI don't know, maybe six months,
I'm not sure.
And when I came into it though,I mean I immediately thought,
I'm not sure I'm in the rightgroup because when I was
searching the group for anybodywanting to talk about sexuality,
there was nothing.
And even right now, like if Isearch the group for the topic
sex, I get one result, andthere's nothing in the post that
(01:03):
says anything about sexuality.
I don't even know why thisresult comes up in the search.
And so I was like, oh my gosh,I'm sure they're all wonderful
podcasts, but they're about verynon-sexual topics.
Lots and lots of podcasterstalking about everything but
sex.
But Kris showed up in thisFacebook group with a post about
her podcast.
I'll have what she's having.
And uh and I just it lit me upbecause I'm like, this woman has
(01:27):
just stepped in here in thislike where we all participate,
apparently in this Facebookgroup.
I mean, you know, not to throwtoo much shade on the group, but
where there's no conversationon the topic as though none of
us ever think about sex or orhave sex.
And she's like, I'm I'm showingup and I'm gonna open this
invitation up that I'm here totalk about it.
And I just love that so muchbecause I there's so much more I
(01:49):
know going on in betweenpeople's ears and in their
private labs, but I think thelack of conversation about it
contributes to you know thefeeling of shame.
So I reached out to Kris and Iwas like, Hey, I know I'm a
total stranger, but would you beyou know interested in coming
on the show to talk about it?
And can I share a little bit ofwhat you wrote back?
Because to me it was just I waslike, Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
So she was like, I love toshare, and it's such an
(02:11):
important piece of dismantlingthe shame around sex and
normalizing all of ourexperiences.
And I was like, oh my god, thiswoman was so perfect for this
show.
So yes, I'm super excited thatyou agreed to come and talk.
So thank you.
Kris (02:24):
My pleasure.
It's funny, like you're talkingabout like, oh yeah, people
don't post on this Facebookgroup very often.
And I'm like, I actually didn'teven think about it.
I was just like, yep, this iswhat I'm looking for.
This is what my podcast isabout.
Like when I post on socialmedia, I like see like an echo
chamber of all these otherpeople posting about sexuality.
So it's funny, I don'tnecessarily see that.
Marvin (02:42):
Yeah, um, I love that you just like stepped into a
chamber that wasn't reallyechoing that very much, and you
just to me that's magical andpowerful.
And and I'm certain there'sother people who saw your post,
and even it's a little bit likeyou said, you know, if it
dispels a little bit of shameevery time we do it, I just
believe that it's it's powerful.
(03:02):
So yeah.
I had also been looking at onyour website Kris Hall, which uh
for anyone that's interested,of course, this will be in the
show notes too.
But Kris Hall's K-R-I-S-H-A-L-Ldot ca is her website, and she
has an about page where I wasreading it, and I got emotional
reading this because to me I Ihear someone who you know at one
(03:26):
point in your life you were youfelt this like liberation
around your sexuality, and thenyou had an experience that it
depends on how comfortable youare sharing.
I would love to hear you knowmore about your experience as
like a shutdown, and then youhad this like come back fight
just to be like, I'm going toexperience pleasure in my
lifetime, whatever I have to do.
Kris (03:48):
So yeah, I'm happy, I'm happy to chat about it.
Um yeah, so I was young andactually me and my friends we
used to say young and dumb andfull of cum.
Um and I loved sex and I hadalready had quite a few partners
and some deeper explorationsthan most other people my age.
(04:10):
And I felt really confident init.
And yeah, I just loved it as amethod to connect, as we all do.
And yeah, I can actually like Ican narrow it down to like the
afternoon when like it started,and then it just like amplified
more and more.
So it was it was pain, right?
And it was so psychosomatic,which means like it was coming
from my body, it was coming frommy mind, and like my mind was
(04:32):
compounding what was happeningin my body.
And yeah, I just startedexperiencing pain where there
used to be pleasure, especiallyduring penetration.
And it was awful.
It went on for five years atleast.
Um, I think I keep saying fiveyears in my bios because like
that's what it feels like.
That's definitely how long itwas, but like I just couldn't
(04:52):
get out of it and it got worseand worse and worse.
And later on I realized, andand through like lots and lots
of work, I went to doctors.
I went and like there was onedoctor who gave me like a bunch
of different size, like waxdildos because she thought that
would solve the problem.
And I was like, I don't thinkthis is my problem.
I know some people that's whathelps, but like it just it was
like a complete rewiring of mysexual experience where like,
(05:16):
yeah, where there used to bepleasure, there's now pain.
And every time I had sex, itreinforced that narrative and it
reinforced that bodilyexperience.
And so it took a lot of likedeep nervous system work to get
out of it.
Marvin (05:28):
Wow, yeah.
Wow, God, that would I mean, Imean, I don't know, but for me,
just imagining what that wouldbe like being a sexual person
and how important that is to meto feel that like almost like
it's just slipping away from meand why this is so important to
me.
I mean, and I don't know whatyour spirituality is, but I
would be angry at God.
I would just be like, Thisfucking sucks.
(05:49):
Why is this happening to me?
Kris (05:52):
Yeah, yeah.
It was why is this happening tome?
Why is this like why me?
And like it starteddisconnecting me from like
myself, right?
Because all of a sudden Icouldn't have sex the way I
wanted to.
I wanted to connect, I gotexcited about somebody, we'd get
there, and then all of a suddenit was just too painful.
I couldn't have sex, and it wasjust yeah, it was insanely
(06:12):
frustrating and demoralizing,and I felt alone and afraid.
And yeah, I had so many momentsof why me.
Of course, now having you knowcompletely changed my career and
moved into a sexuality space,I'm like, oh yeah, that's why
me.
I needed to go through that, soI knew what was going on there.
Marvin (06:29):
Yeah, yeah.
Isn't it wild how I mean it'slike, yeah, I mean, I want to
look back at my life, thingsthat I went through that were
really hard.
Why did I have to go throughthat thing?
But it does now make sense.
Like if I was gonna, and I'm anauthor too, so I'm like, if I
was gonna write a book, youknow, and it was gonna have all
these elements, yeah.
I probably would have gonethrough that horrible thing and
(06:51):
this really painful thing inorder to become the person who
you know would live theauthentic life that I'm now
endeavoring to live, you know,and have the mission and the
purpose.
And so yeah.
So props to you for signing upfor five years of something so
hard so that you that cruciblethat you walked through in order
(07:12):
to be the person that you arenow.
Kris (07:15):
I walked through I walked through the hell and then I
walked through like two years oflike healing and like all the
work to get where I am now.
So yeah, it's always possibleto change it.
Marvin (07:26):
Well, so can we go back to before all that though?
Like just like you so you saidyou were young when you started
to discover that you were asexual person.
There are there certainmemories, like I don't know on
your on your website.
I guess this canoe experiencewas during that period.
Kris (07:44):
It's funny, I was writing down a bunch of like different
sexual stories.
I even had to like go look uplike the place in Asia where it
happened to be like, oh, Iwonder if I can get this detail
right or like this hostel,right?
I'm like, oh, let's shut downnow.
But I completely forgot aboutthe canoe.
Thank you for bringing that up.
Yeah, no, I once had sex in afloating canoe and being
Canadian, it's extra funnybecause we, you know, are
(08:05):
Canadian canoes, eh?
And um, and so we were out atmy family cottage on the lake,
and yeah, it was me and mypartner at the time.
Um, and this was the partnerlike right before all that stuff
happened.
And yeah, we just got reallyhorny in the boat and then just
like we were doing it like doggystyle, like as we were floating
down this like little part ofthe lake, and we like looked
(08:25):
around, it was like, okay,nobody's watching, so this is
fine.
Yeah, I'm such an ecosexual.
I still get majorly turned onby being outside.
Marvin (08:33):
Oh, yeah, in nature.
Well, no, I mean, I would thinktoo.
I mean, you're prettyimpressive just for the balance
that you would have to have.
Yeah, I'm still impressingmyself, right, and not like fall
in the water.
That's cool.
Do you uh I mean, so I mean,I'm just thinking about that
experience for me, because Ialso have a little bit of an
(08:55):
exhibitionistic side, you know,I'd say little, it's really
pretty intense, if I'm honest.
Has that been a theme for youor no?
It was just like you're innature and it's yeah, it's a
theme.
Kris (09:07):
Oh, for sure.
Especially like later on inlife when I'm like getting
better at having, yeah, moreexhibitionist sex, more ego
sexual sex.
Yeah, no, I've I've it's funny,I was I was in the sex room of
a party because in my localcommunity, there's a lot of
there's a lot of parties thatinvolve a sex room, which is
great.
Um, which you know, all theconsent has gone over and
everything, and it's a very safespace to play.
(09:28):
But yeah, so like lastHalloween, I was in the middle
of this sex room and there waslike a mattress dead center, and
there's like space around thewalls.
And so we end up getting like alot of voyeurism.
And I was just like after, andwe were oh, we like vortexed
into this experience.
There was four of us.
There was some wax play, therewas like somebody had some
vampire teeth.
It was great.
And we like vortexed into thisthis experience for probably
(09:51):
about four hours.
And it was only at like 4 a.m.
when I was finally like, oh, weshould probably go to the rest
of the party.
I was like, I'm not the personto be exhibitionist in the
middle of the sex room for fourhours in the middle of a party,
am I?
Oh no, wait, I've done thatbefore.
Never mind.
Nope, that's me.
Okay.
Marvin (10:06):
Turns out, yes.
Well, so okay, so you were soat this party, you were like in
the middle of the mattress andthere were people watching you,
or so that is what okay, I gotyou.
Kris (10:17):
Yeah, and then you're like, sorry, that does the
boyism side.
Yeah.
Marvin (10:20):
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
So okay, so there you had thecanoe experience in your youth.
Look, when did you do youremember like a moment in your
youth when you were like, oh,this is how this feels in my
body?
This is amazing.
I love this.
Oh, did you have like a kind ofa watershed moment where No, I
don't think so.
Kris (10:39):
It's funny, I like part of the reason I was drawn to
sexuality in like podcasting andin my career um was also just
when I was a teenager, I waslike, I was like weirdly
confident, you know.
Like I I had lots of closefriends who were like a little
bit nervous or like like nervousabout sex or nervous about
their bodies.
And I just remember being like,I'm not perfect, but like I
feel pretty good.
(10:59):
I like myself, I like my body,you know, like I got this, I'm
good.
And like I could feel that kindof sentiment spreading in my
friends.
And I was always the one tobring up sex.
Like I so I have this oneroommate and good friend who um
she didn't have sex, she's onlyhad sex with her husband, um,
and they're now expecting theirsecond child.
And she hadn't even given ablowjob before getting married
(11:21):
or before being engaged, really.
And so she like, and I would gointo her room and I would sit
down and I would like to tellher these stories and tell her
like these wild sexual stories.
And she's like, Kris, do I needto?
And I was like, Can I pleaseshare?
And she's like, Okay, okay.
And then years later, she comesto me, she's like, Kris, thank
you so much for talking to meabout sex because I feel so much
more comfortable now because ofit.
Marvin (11:41):
Right.
Kris (11:41):
I still remember she's like driving me home from
something, and we're like 26,and she's like, Okay, so my
boyfriend didn't believe thatI'd never given a blowjob
before.
So um teach me how to do it.
Marvin (11:50):
It's time, and I was like, Right.
I've been waiting for thismoment.
Kris (11:56):
I've been waiting.
But yeah, I was always thefirst one to be like, let's talk
about it and like be very, verycomfortable talking about sex.
So I didn't have like a cometo, like, oh my god, I love this
feeling, but it just alwaysfelt like, why isn't more people
talking about this?
And can we talk about this?
And like I wasn't the firstperson in my group of friends to
have sex by a long shot.
Some of my friends had sex atlike 14, and I don't think I did
(12:16):
it until I was 17.
Um, but I liked that I waitedand I felt really ready when I
did it.
Marvin (12:22):
So the experience where the you started to have the
pain, what age were you whenthat started for you?
I was twenty twenty two ortwenty-three.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you had a few years of youknow, like experiencing,
exploring, having sex in canoes.
(12:42):
Yeah.
Just I mean, long enough toreally grieve it, I'm sure.
But when did you start tobecause I would imagine it was
gradual that it came back foryou, right?
Or was it like an amazing,miraculous No, it was it was
gradual.
Kris (12:58):
And yeah, there was definitely a couple moments
where I like, and I knew it waspossible because I sometimes had
moments where it came back andI was able to have sex without
that pain.
Marvin (13:06):
Yeah.
Kris (13:07):
And that was like that was just so hugely important.
I was like, wow, okay, it'spossible, it's there, but how
can I do this consistently?
Yeah.
Why is this not my normal?
And like yeah, yeah.
So it was it was gradual.
Marvin (13:21):
Yeah.
Kris (13:22):
And uh yeah, so it was probably around like 27, 26, 27,
and I just started exploring.
And you know how it is withwhen something's wrong, like you
kind of go through waves whereyou're like, okay, I have all
this strength and courage andhope, and I'm gonna go try a
bunch of things, and then youget dejected because none of
them work, and then you kind ofgo back into like that more
depressive side.
And yeah, so I tried like apelvic physiotherapist that did
(13:43):
not work at all.
She was trying to tell me whatto eat, and she, I kid you not,
she attached electrodes to mylike pelvic floor.
So, like inside my butt andit's like inside my vaginal
wall, and then had me likesqueeze so that she could show
it on a graph.
And I was like, Yeah, dude,like I've got plenty of pelvic
floor muscles, I'm fine.
This is a problem.
Marvin (14:02):
Yeah, that's not what it is.
Well, but yeah, like uh I'll uhyou know what I love about that
story is you're like, I'm downto try it because I'm going to
figure this out.
So yeah.
Kris (14:14):
I tried it all.
I saw all the doctors, none ofthem helped, and then yeah, I
finally found the solution.
And yeah, it involves lots ofsomatic healing and lots of
nervous system rewiring and lotsof deeper, very subtle work.
Because it because it turnedout like it wasn't really the
pain anymore.
It was like I experienced painonce, and then I was so afraid
(14:35):
of the pain happening that likemy nervous system wired to fear
instead of pleasure, and so Ijust felt afraid and tense, and
there was just all of thatlayers upon layers of stuff.
Marvin (14:45):
Um, yeah.
Kris (14:46):
So I getting through that is a slow process.
Marvin (14:48):
Yeah.
Well, I guess you're a somaticpractitioner now.
Is that part of it?
Yeah, okay, cool.
Well, with the experience thatyou've been through and how
tremendously powerful it was foryou.
I could see how you're like,okay, I'm gonna learn to teach
this.
Kris (15:04):
Yeah, yeah.
And it was actually like thehealing and the teaching
actually happened like back toback because it was in one
program.
I found a teacher who like shewas just telling stories where I
was like, oh my gosh, that'swhat I want for my life.
And you know, like she painteda picture of women doing sex
magic in the forest, which issomething I do.
I actually lead retreats whereI take women through like sex
magic experiences andeverybody's you know, like
(15:27):
masturbating in the same roomand it's with a spiritual
context, and that sounds so farout of people's comfort zones
until they're experienced.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like I I remember hearingmy teacher talk about that kind
of experience and me being like,oh my God, I've dreamt that
this was possible, but this isactually possible in this
lifetime.
Okay, sign me up.
And like, so the beginning ofher program was all about that
(15:50):
like self-healing and self-work.
And so that's when I got to doall the work on myself.
And then so when we were, youknow, in the second part of the
program and I was learning howto do the somatic work for other
people, I was like, okay, I seehow this works, you know, like
you you've become so much moreadept at it when you've gone
through it yourself, obviously.
Marvin (16:07):
Yeah.
Can we dive into the sex magicthing?
I'm really curious about this.
A friend of mine told me thatshe was using her pussy in
pleasure to basically, it wasalmost like she was praying for
somebody, but she was channelingher sexual energy, and so she
was self-pleasuring, and she wastaking the energy in her body
and using it to you know sendhealing vibes to this person,
(16:30):
and something incrediblehappened.
And I can't remember the exactstory, but she told me about
this, and I was like, Where didyou even get the idea to do
this?
This is amazing.
I love this idea.
So I've heard one other personwho came on this podcast talk
about she used the term sexmagic, but where did this well,
okay?
So part of how this concept wasintroduced to you is this
teacher, you said, right?
(16:51):
For your experience with sexmagic, and how would you
describe what it is?
Kris (16:54):
Yeah, so sex magic is manifestation using rocket fuel,
which is your sexual energy.
So it's funny, the way yourfriend used it is yeah, like
it's not wrong, like you candefinitely use it that way.
I teach it a little bitdifferently, but I love that it
was like sending outwardprayers.
Um but yeah, so so sex magic,so first sexual energy, right?
(17:16):
It's very, very powerful.
It's one of the only types ofenergy in our bodies that we can
use and transform into otherdifferent types of energy.
And so, like, you can breatheit up like through the chakras
and like kind of transform itand turn on your entire body.
And what that does too is allowyou to be in your highest
state.
You are in all the positivity,all the joy, all the pleasure of
(17:39):
your being.
And what you're doing is you'recombining that energy and that
pleasure and that and thepossibility of this dream or
this prayer becoming true.
Right.
So, like a lot of people domanifestation by writing down or
by thinking about it, bymeditating on it, but adding
self-pleasure to the mix is thenext level.
And that's why it's called sexmagic.
(18:00):
Because like getting what youwant is about believing it's
possible and like making, likeactually removing the obstacles
in your way.
But then also like you need tohave that embodied experience of
it being safe, of it beingactually possible.
Because so much of the time,what people want feels so out of
reach because like our nervoussystem doesn't actually feel
like it's possible or safe tohave.
(18:20):
And so, yeah, this is this isthe safety, this is the
pleasure.
Like, of course, like you'reteaching your brain to move
towards the thing that feels sogood when you're mixing the
pleasure and the dream.
Yeah.
Marvin (18:33):
Yeah, I mean, because I'm since you're talking about
this, I'm just like, okay, Imean, if I think about it, and I
have played with this ideasince I had this conversation
with her.
Um but yeah, like when I'm inthat state of like really
intense arousal or orgasm, allthe analytical stuff, it's sort
of like that part of the brainjust cools off.
Kris (18:53):
Yeah, because orgasms are an altered state of
consciousness.
Yeah.
Marvin (18:58):
I love it, I love it.
Well, okay, so since you havereclaimed your sexual power and
your pleasure in your body, Imean, have there been some
experiences that you've had thatyou're like, this is what I
fought my way back for, is formoments like this.
Kris (19:14):
Oh, totally, yeah.
And it's funny, a lot of theminvolve nature and some of them
involve psychedelics.
But yeah, definitely.
And so I met my current partnerlike right after I did all like
the deep healing work, and hewas able to meet me on like a
whole different level in sexthat like I hadn't been on
before.
So maybe I hadn't beenattracting someone on that level
(19:36):
before, but all of a sudden,everything seemed so possible.
And that was two and a halfyears ago.
And so yeah, I've just beenhaving the wildest sex, and
we're we're not a monogamoustoo.
So like I've had a coupleexperiences outside of that.
And uh yeah, so there's acouple that it would be amazing
to mention, but yeah, one ofthem was we took like some some
(19:58):
micro micro doses of mushrooms,as we like to do sometimes.
And um, we like to kind of likeaccess a deeper state of
relaxation and connection andeven like that feeling of seeing
each other as divine.
Um, and we went to this, wecanoeed over to this like small
island.
We were just like kind ofsearching out on like our uh my
(20:19):
family's like the lake that thatmy family cottage is on.
So we're just like canoeing outto like find what kind of rock
or island could we find?
We want some privacy, but wewant to be out in nature.
And so sure enough, we foundthis perfect island where
there's like a ring of treesaround it and this little like
stage in the middle for us.
Perfect.
We park there and we spendprobably like five hours just
(20:40):
deep diving into like just crazystates of like energetic orgasm
and like just there's parts ofus that come out that we're
like, who are you?
But that's okay, we're gonna gowith it, and like, oh yeah,
that's probably one of myfavorites, where it's like, fuck
yes, all the work wasabsolutely worth it for this
moment.
Marvin (21:00):
Yeah.
And when you say energeticorgasm, some listeners are not
gonna necessarily know what thatmeans.
Like, could you explain if it'sexplainable what what that's
like to experience and what youmean by that?
Kris (21:15):
Yeah, yeah.
So um it's like it's a littlebit harder to distinguish, I
find, with women and with pussyowners because we tend to our
orgasms look like so manydifferent things.
Of course, everybody can orgasmin so many different ways, but
we like sometimes I kind ofconflate the two.
I'm like, well, my the orgasmwas really intense and it was
(21:35):
everywhere in my body, but Ialso felt it in my vulva.
So, like, is it an energeticorgasm?
But with men and penis owners,it's really, really, it's really
straightforward.
It's they had an orgasm andthey didn't ejaculate, right?
And it's a full body experiencewhere like it's like every
single nerve ending and yourwhole body is just like flexing.
(21:56):
And it it feels different everytime, right?
Because you can orgasm fromyour breasts or from your ears
or from your feet or from yourarmpits.
Um, but a full body energeticorgasm is kind of what it sounds
like.
It's you're orgasming from yourentire body all at once.
Um, and it's more on theenergetic side, right?
Like it's not necessarily thatclenching, it's it's like
ripples and waves of energy.
(22:17):
Yeah.
Marvin (22:18):
Very cool.
I don't know that I've reallyever experienced that.
So, how did you tap into thatfor yourself?
Like where what was yourdoorway into was this the
teacher that you were talkingabout?
Kris (22:28):
That yeah, definitely the teacher.
And then I've started to teachthis to other people now too.
Because yeah, the teachertaught all the students to be
teachers to go, you know, bringout the sex witches into the
world.
Marvin (22:38):
Yes, yeah, spread the good news.
Kris (22:40):
Spread the good news.
The female punch of revolutionis here.
Marvin (22:44):
Uh uh yes, absolutely.
I'm willing to.
Well, cool.
Okay, so that was your doorway.
If you were to describe whatthat is, I guess there's
probably multiple modalitiesmight be involved in what you
are studying.
Kris (22:55):
Yeah, so there's multiple different techniques.
Um, and there's like probablythere's probably like up to 10
or 12, like unique, different,like I would call them sexual
tools, and I'm not talking aboutdildos that you can use.
And they're they kind ofsurprise some people.
So, like the first one isbreath, right?
Like doing breath work,breathing in and out through the
mouth is really powerfulbecause like it gets you out of
(23:17):
your head into your body, andyou start to just feel
everything on a deeper level.
Even sounding.
Sounding is the second one,like actually making noise.
I know sometimes we think it'slike a performative thing, but
it's actually really, reallyit's it's letting out emotions
and it's it's making you presentand it's like you're sounding
the different pieces of you thatfeel different things.
Um, the others would bemovement.
(23:40):
So like allowing your body tomove.
Because I know that sometimes,especially pussy owners, we lock
up and we like, okay, and likewe tense and we tense and we
tense.
But uh yeah, so movement isanother one.
Um, energy, learning to moveyour energy around.
Um, I know that that's likedirectly related to energetic
orgasms, but there is ways toteach yourself and to learn how
to like actually feel the energyand move the energy through
(24:02):
your body.
And like another, I think Iwould mention like top five, the
fifth one would be intentionthat like you have an intention
to go somewhere, you have anintention with your pleasure,
and that's a really powerful wayof like getting there because
your body knows where you wantto go and and brings you there.
Marvin (24:16):
Gotcha.
Very cool.
And I've kind of wrapped upseveral months of doing this
like kundalini activation workever since then.
The like movement of energy inmy body has been next level.
It's and I definitely notice ifI'm self-pleasing that yeah, I
can feel every just all over mybody really.
It's like it all startshappening.
(24:37):
So I wonder if like I'mteetering on some of what you're
talking about, because um, Ifeel like some of those pieces
that you're mentioning arethings that I've been not with
that intention of of having thatexperience.
I've just been playing withthose pieces for different
reasons.
But yeah, it has been showingup.
Like when I saw pleasure, youknow, it's like, oh, there's all
that.
That's here it is.
Kris (24:57):
Yeah, kundalini energy is a really powerful way to use
your sexual energy and move itthrough your body.
And yeah, you're definitelyteetering on energetic orgasms
then.
You're almost there.
Marvin (25:06):
It's gonna happen.
Very cool.
Okay, well, so you had thisawesome island experience with a
ring of trees.
I mean, that sounds almost likethe trees grew up just to
witness that moment with you andyour partner.
That's really cool.
Are there other experiencesthat you would like to share?
Kris (25:23):
That yeah, yeah.
So there's there's two thatcome to mind.
The first one is oh, they'resuch different flavors.
So one of them involvesdressing up like a goblin and
wearing butt bogs for way toolong.
Um, I'll get to that onesecond.
The first one is this okay.
So I had a sexual experiencewith a mango, and it was
(25:46):
absolutely superb.
So I was in Peru and I was bymyself at this hostel, and I
had, again, a little bit ofmushrooms, and I really needed
to use up the mushrooms before Igot on the flight because I was
gonna go see my partner for thefirst time in two months in
like 24 hours.
And so I had this soloexperience, and it's this tiny
little town in the middle oflike desert sand dunes in Peru.
(26:08):
And, you know, there's there'sno privacy.
I'm in a dark dorm.
So when I decided I reallywanted to eat this mango, there
was this juicy, juicy mango thatI bought from down the street.
And I was like, I want to eatthis with my whole body, my
whole soul.
These mangoes in Peru are sogood.
Like, I've never tasted mangoesthis good.
I was like, I need to fullyhonor this mango's juiciness by
(26:28):
eating it with all of me.
And the only way I can do thatis by going into the bathroom
and going into the shower andeating this mango, buckass nude.
So I go into the shower and I'meating this mango and it's
dripping down my body.
And uh and yeah, I bring myselfto orgasm a couple times, and
it's it's just a very strong,intense experience.
And like I even had momentswhere I was like, I touched my
(26:52):
own levels of shame, like myupper barriers where I was like,
oh, is this like too much?
If I told somebody about thisexperience, would it be like a
ridiculous experience wheresomebody looks at me and thinks
I'm crazy?
Um but yeah, I kept going, Ipersevered, it was amazing.
And then the best part about itis that I then brought it back
to my community and we did it ina group.
So I brought it up.
Marvin (27:12):
So everybody gets a mango.
Yeah, I love this.
I'm like picturing this, likeeverybody gets their mango,
everybody.
I mean, I guess everybody'snaked, and these would have to
be good mangoes.
Did she bring back goodmangoes?
Kris (27:23):
Is that what so we didn't have great mangoes because it
was July in Canada, so we usedwatermelon, but it got really
sticky, and yeah, I I introducedit with this story and had
everybody like do this soloexploration, and then I could
see the energy starting to likemingle, and it was like, all
right, guys, let's go.
And so we all just likecoalesced beautifully, and
people were licking each other,and like, and the number one
(27:44):
comment was, uh, I don't think Ican ever look at fruit again
the same way.
Marvin (27:47):
You completely changed it for which is amazing.
I love this so much.
Okay, so you you oh god, I'mjust like I'm going back to this
moment in the shower with themango, you know, kind of thing.
So when you said you broughtyourself to orgasm, was this
just your body responding toyour intention and the
experience of eating the mango?
Kris (28:09):
I'm I definitely had some clitoral stimulation involved.
Marvin (28:12):
Oh, okay.
Kris (28:13):
Yeah, like I definitely brought myself there with that
as well, but it was so closealready, you know, when you're
like you barely have to touchyourself, it's so turned on the
juices, the psychedelicexperience.
And of like, I truly like theonly way to give it full the
only way to explain it is to sayI was having sex with a mango.
Marvin (28:32):
Yeah, yeah, right.
Kris (28:34):
And that's that was ridiculous, but it was like I
highly suggest everybody try itbecause Yeah, don't knock until
you try it.
Marvin (28:41):
You'll never see fruit the same way.
Kris (28:43):
You'll never see it the same way again.
Marvin (28:45):
I love it.
I love that.
I mean, one of the things Ilove about you sharing the story
is like it will I I feel surethat sure some people are gonna
be like that's weird, butthere's gonna be people that are
gonna be like, what if that'spossible for me?
You know, because it's likeit's like I am certain that we
do we've only begun to tap intowhat's possible for us actually,
(29:08):
you know, because I mean firstof all, it's so tapped we didn't
even talk about it, but I don'tknow, I feel like it's a a
whole frontier that we've justbarely tapped into.
So there's lots of experiencesthat I haven't had yet, and I
know of them because I've heardsomeone else because I'm
interested, and I'm always likelooking into oh, well, what's
this thing?
But yeah, I mean, lots ofexperiences I haven't had yet.
I think I read somewhere whereyou mentioned cervical orgasms.
Kris (29:33):
Well, yeah, so like I was talking about the different
types of orgasms, cervical beingit's it's funny, I just led a
women's retreat and we were alltalking about pleasure and
talking about different types oforgasms, and like so many women
were so interested in cervicalorgasms in particular.
And it's just the very, veryend, right?
If you go and you touch thevery, very end of the vaginal
canal, that's the cervix, that'sthe opening to the uterus.
(29:53):
And it is a powerful energycenter where there's a lot of
tenderness, there's a lot ofenergy, there's A lot of trauma,
but also a lot of awakening.
There's just there's so muchthere, just like the G spot.
There's just so much energy inthose places.
And the orgasms that peoplehave, there's it's funny because
the statistics on this areabysmal, right?
Like mostly it says, like, ohyeah, most women don't orgasm
(30:16):
cervically.
But like it really is amisnomer because people don't
really know what it feels likebecause it feels different.
Like some people just fullyrelax in their entire bodies.
That's what happens to me.
I literally like collapse, andmy partner knows it's coming
because he'll find the spot andhe'll just like keep hitting it,
and then I'll just my wholebody will collapse and as an
orgasm.
(30:36):
And it looks different foreverybody, and it's like a
wildly sensitive, but yeah,wildly sensitive but powerful
spot.
Marvin (30:45):
Very cool.
One of the things that was kindof interesting to me reading
this bio on your website, youmentioned your podcast that the
more you learned, the more yourealized you didn't want to just
talk about it, you wanted toteach it.
It sounds like theconversations that you were
having on the podcast.
Has that podcast served you asmuch as it served your guests
and listeners?
Kris (31:03):
I definitely think so.
I think it had a lot to do withfinding my voice.
Um, because like I said, I wasalways like really down to talk
about sexuality.
And I was like the first one ofmy friends to talk about it.
And like if people like I didthat test where I'm like, what
are the four things that youwould like that I would always
talk about?
And people always saysexuality, and I'm like, okay,
cool.
So like everybody sees me thisway, just like I see myself.
(31:25):
Okay.
And with the podcast, I mean,it honestly started because I
was like super bored duringCOVID.
I was bored with my job and Ireally need a creative outlet.
And I just picked a topic outof like those topics that I
absolutely love.
And yeah, it was really alongthe way that it was more like a
wait, okay, who's gonna listento an engineer, which is my last
(31:46):
career, who's gonna listen toan engineer talk about sex?
Like, I need to have someexpertise.
I want to have some expertise.
I want to be bringing like newa new voice to the table instead
of shining the light just onother people, and which is a
great thing to do, but yeah, itwas like no, no, no, I want this
to be an educational thing andI want to be an educator on
this.
Marvin (32:03):
Yeah.
Kris (32:04):
So in that way, it did help.
Yeah.
Marvin (32:06):
So led you to your new career.
Kris (32:08):
Yeah.
Marvin (32:09):
Like your life's work, your passion, and that's
awesome.
I'm actually still in theengineering thing.
My hope is with my writing tostep out of engineering and then
to because I just want to,whether it's through this
podcast or books or whatever, Ijust want it to be a safe space
for the topic.
And yeah, so I love that youcreated for yourself in your
(32:30):
life here and it started for youwith your podcast.
It sounds like that's verycool.
You were talking about thatthere was a story about bat
plugs and dressing up as agoblin.
Kris (32:39):
Yeah, this one's fun.
So it was early into dating mypartner, and for some reason I
went full in on the idea that sowe were going to you're going
to a Shakespeare play, like amodified Shakespeare play, like
the Bard on the Beach kind ofvibe where you know they they
take a Shakespeare play and thenthey twist it somehow.
And this one was that they weregonna pretend that three
goblins were doing the entireplay, um, that they like break
(33:01):
into the theater.
And so we were going to agoblins-themed play.
And I decided that I wanted toanswer the door as if I was a
goblin, because of course I did.
I don't know.
I don't know why.
It was a playful thing Idecided to do at the moment.
So I put on a bald cap, I gotmyself some ears and like a long
crooked nose, and like I thinkI put on like a loincloth or
something.
I don't know.
And so I answered the door,like you know, like just pull on
(33:24):
like like golem style.
And I immediately think, ohGod, I cannot let this image
cement into this guy's brain.
He's only known me for a couplemonths.
Like, I don't want him topicture this goblin.
And so I immediately just likerip it all off after I think
better of it.
And I'm like, okay, yeah, let'sgo to the theater.
Um, and then we were foolingaround because I was also
(33:45):
wearing like very sexy lingerieat the same time.
So we were fooling aroundbefore going to the theater, and
he told me he had a buttplug-in, and I was like, Well,
I'm gonna put one in two then.
But I didn't really think aboutthis because his was a short
one, mine was a much longer one,and we were sitting down, and
so I'm stuck in this theaterwhere I barely understand it
because they're all speakingShakespeare out of giant
prosthetic goblin masks.
Marvin (34:05):
Goblin masks, yeah.
Kris (34:06):
And I've got this giant butt plug-in, and I'm thinking,
oh shit, this is okay.
And so I have to go to like,and of course, it's an outdoor
kind of theater, and so I haveto go to the porta potty to go
take this out.
And thankfully I brought alittle plastic bag with me.
But anyways, it was reallyfunny after the show when we're
like fully around outside, ofcourse, um, underneath this
tree, and we're like doing handstuff because it's dark and it's
(34:27):
a big tree, so it's fine, eventhough it's like decently close
to the public.
Yeah, and that's when he likereaches back and goes, Oh,
where's your butt plug?
And I went, Yeah, so aboutthat.
Marvin (34:36):
That had to come out.
Kris (34:37):
That had to come out.
Marvin (34:38):
Gotcha.
But I mean, yeah, nice.
I like your level of commitmentthat you're like, hey, you got
a butt plug, I'm coming with abutt plug too.
Kris (34:46):
I was like, What?
You can't have all thispleasure.
Oh, I mean, yes, obviously Iwant you to have this pleasure,
but I was like, I want that formyself too.
Marvin (34:52):
Exactly, right?
Yeah, nice, cool.
Um I feel like you've gotprobably lots of stories, and I
would love to hear all of them.
Kris (34:58):
I do, it's funny because like in the middle of the sexual
pain, so I did like a reallylong solo backpacking journey,
like right after the sexual painstarted.
And so like I did manage tohave some sexual experiences
that were really, reallymemorable and amazing.
And like I love to, you know,tell people how I threesomed my
way across Asia because I kindof did.
It was like almost in everycountry, it felt like I somehow
(35:19):
ended up in a threesome, andsome of them were completely
accidental, like like accidentalin a consensual way, but like
very much not planned.
Um that's kind of like yeah,that's kind of like the category
of like my sexual experiencesthat haven't really been talked
about here is like there's earlyand there's like more adult
ecosexual kind of vibe, Kris,and then there's like the middle
(35:39):
where it's like, yeah, I hadlots of sex in other countries
in weird situations where we hadto just make do with whatever
we had.
Marvin (35:45):
So when you say make day with everybody, so this was
during the this was during thepainful time where it was
difficult to, I guess, have likepenetrative sex.
Kris (35:54):
Yeah.
Marvin (35:54):
Gotcha.
So it was like, well then let'sget creative.
Kris (35:57):
Yeah, and also like it was it was a one-time thing so
often because I was always onthe move, and like, you know,
threesomes offer so many moreopportunities to be creative and
to, you know, I think I did I'mI'm bisexual and like I I
definitely did gear towardswomen a lot more during that
time period, I think, becausepenetration was so painful.
Marvin (36:15):
Right.
Kris (36:15):
Um and so yeah, it just it offered it's funny when I think
back, I'm like, I I guess therewas those moments where I
wasn't so wrapped up in the painand the fear, and I was able to
be a little more exploratory.
Um especially while I wastraveling and I felt that kind
of expansive adventure spirit.
Marvin (36:31):
Yeah, you know, actually, I mean, I'm gosh, it's
been probably five years nowthat I've been following Dr.
Jared Dispenza, these retreatsthat he does.
The power of it is like gettingyou out of your normal
environment, your normalday-to-day to to step out of
your life, and that that enablesbecause your body is just has
all this neuro wiring to yourenvironment and your usual, and
(36:53):
like if you can break that andyou can get out of it, that it
opens up this opportunity towrite new neural pathways, and
so yeah, like how cool for Ethat like you take some
traveling, and it's like, yeah,you have a new blank site almost
not blank, a lot of things openup for you in terms of being
able to create new experiences.
Kris (37:12):
Yeah, yeah.
So it was like I was around24-ish, and yeah, I spent eight
months in Asia and three monthsin New Zealand, three months in
Australia.
Yeah.
Marvin (37:19):
Did you have an experience during that time
where you were like, there'sstill doors for me, maybe not
the ones that I'm used to that Iwant to recover, but did it go
like that, or did you just flyright into it?
Kris (37:29):
And yeah, I remember flowing right in.
I I remember a lot of likefeeling like myself again.
I think that's that's one ofthe biggest things that I felt
like I lost was I didn't feellike myself when I couldn't act
on attraction, when I couldn'tbe that flirty person that I
feel like I am.
And yeah, like it was like Isaid, it was kind of like part
of my identity was really washedaway.
And yeah, there was thosemoments where I did feel like
(37:52):
myself.
And generally I was able tostill be myself up until like
the moment where the painhappened, and then that like
disconnection would would followthrough.
But there's definitely someexperiences that stand out in my
memory, and it's very possiblethat I kind of just blocked out
the part that feltuncomfortable, but that like I
was able to kind of, you know,let the other person do the
penetration side of it.
And like, and I I don't thinkI'd really identify that until
(38:13):
right now, that like thosethreesome experiences were
really expansive because Ididn't have to play all the
roles.
I got to be that third.
Um, and I got to play withdifferent parts of yeah, my
ability to be in these sexualsituations where I yeah, I guess
I just I was playing adifferent role.
Marvin (38:30):
Yeah.
I guess like I I mean, was itthat your body was relaxed and
that opened up?
Kris (38:35):
Yeah, and sometimes honestly it had to do with being
drunk.
Well, that's yeah, yeah.
Unfortunately, I just kind ofstarted to notice a pattern
where, like, you know, I'd getpretty drunk with some people,
and then there'd be someattraction, and then there'd be
some sex, and and that while Iwas in that state of
inebriation, I didn't have thecognitive cognitive functioning
to be able to even think aboutthe pain, and so it just didn't
(38:57):
happen.
And I don't know why I didn'tclue in sooner that, like, oh,
that's because it's coming frommy brain, it's not coming from
my body.
Like, my body's fully able toexperience pleasure, but my
brain is blocking it.
Marvin (39:07):
Yeah, uh, you're you're bringing this up.
Part of the reason why thisinterests me is I mean, for
myself, I was just so heavilyindoctrinated when I was
younger.
And even as a teenager, I wasjust so resistant to anything,
alcohol or any kind ofsubstance, you know, and almost
made it a part of my like mysense of identity that I don't
do that.
But I have definitelywitnessed, and it's taken me a
(39:29):
while, because I'm in my 50snow, that I've just seen with
others, with lovers, that likeit opens doors.
It absolutely does open doors.
And so I guess I don't knowwhat the question is that I'm
driving at, except that I'mwondering if you have any
thoughts about, yeah, I mean, itdoes, and here's why.
Kris (39:47):
Yeah, substances and sex.
Yeah, let's do it.
So what comes to mind is likethe when I was in my young 20s,
I realized that I hadn't had myvery first time with every
sexual partner that I'd had upto a certain point in my life,
every single time that it wasthe first time, I had been
drunk, or I'd had at least onedrink.
And I know that that's probablylike a confidence and like a
(40:08):
nervousness thing and likecooling the nerves, or like it
just tended to happen after barnights, or maybe I I did drink a
lot when I was younger.
I don't drink so much anymorenow.
So it's interesting, it'sinteresting just to note that
like in my younger life, Idefinitely used alcohol to help
kind of calm the nerves.
And I get that's used that way.
Um, and I definitely see thatat a certain point you stop
(40:28):
being able to connect.
And like even now, like evenafter one drink or two drinks,
I'm not connecting with peoplein the same way.
And so I actually would saythat alcohol limits your ability
to connect and limits yoursexual experiences.
But it does have a time and aplace where, yeah, it relaxes
you.
Like one drink can just relaxthe body, relax the mind, allow
things to flow just a little bitbetter.
So, like, yeah, it's good.
(40:50):
Me personally, I also getreally I have a lot of some of
my sexual pain actually comesfrom dehydration.
So that has stayed with me.
So if I'm dehydrated, it's alittle bit more on the painful
side.
And so, like alcoholdehydrates, and so that's not
great.
Marvin (41:06):
Yeah, right.
Kris (41:06):
Yeah.
But when it comes tosubstances, I'm kind of a yes to
that, as long as they're usedvery consciously and maybe in
smaller doses.
Like, I mean, I've told you acouple of my stories.
Like, I also have othersubstance stories that I
absolutely love that, yeah, wedid connect on a deeper level
because of the substance, butagain, it was done like together
and in a conscious way andoften in a lower dose so that we
(41:27):
can stay with our bodies andeach other.
Marvin (41:29):
Yeah, gotcha.
Interesting.
Well, I've yet to really um, Imean, my one story and it didn't
involve sex at all.
But I was at a burn, and uhthere was like a guy that came
up and he had I guess it was ablunt, I'm not even sure what it
was.
This is how not educated I amabout these things.
But he offered, you know, forme to take a hit off of this
(41:51):
thing, and I was like, sure, whynot?
You know, I'm here to have newexperiences and so like I took a
puff of it and I was likecoughing and then I was laughing
for 30 minutes afterwards.
I don't even know whateverything was amusing.
I have been thinking about thissome because I have noticed
that and it does seem like ithas to do with how relaxed the
(42:14):
person is able to be and just bein their body where maybe
without that it was easier to bein in their head, you know, and
and harder to just drop intofeeling.
I don't know.
These are things that I'mobserving from the outside
looking in, it's just maybewonders.
Kris (42:31):
And it's interesting too to to think about that breath
work can imitate certainsubstances, right?
So like certain types of breathwork actually were used to
replace LSD when LSD was bannedand less available in certain
decades, and that like that isstill one of the ways you can
use breath is to like deepeninto your body, into your
feelings, get out of your head.
And it takes a lot longer.
(42:52):
It's kind of like my my analogyis like walking up the mountain
versus like getting dropped offon the top with a helicopter,
but you can get there and it'sstill very, very, very powerful.
Marvin (43:01):
Cool.
Well, um, so for anyone who'slistening to this who would like
to know more about you, we'regonna put some things in the
show notes.
But do you have anything thatyou would like to share with
folks about, you know, here'shere's who I am, here's what I
have to offer, here's what wouldyou share?
Kris (43:18):
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm a sexual empowermentcoach, and you can find me at
chrishall.ca and yeah, we canwork one-on-one to help you
through any sexual blocks thatyou're having.
And I also do lots of women'sretreats, and I do have a free
gift for you if you're listeningand you'd like to try out some
of these techniques on your own.
(43:39):
The breath, the sounding, themovement, the energy.
I've got a little 15-minuteaudio for you to try out on your
own and to yeah, just startbringing more of that sexy
aliveness back into your life.
Marvin (43:49):
Oh, very cool.
Yeah, I think you might be thefirst guest who had a gift for
listeners.
I'll have it.
Um yeah, we'll have that linkin the show notes.
And then I know you've also gota podcast, right?
Kris (43:58):
Yes, I'm I'm so used to my podcast, you know, being the
podcast I'm talking on.
So uh yeah, it's called I'llHave What She's Having.
Um, and it's available whereveryou listen.
And we just hit episode number50, which is exciting.
Uh we just talk all thingsturned on, sexy life.
Marvin (44:13):
Love it.
Yeah, so if you want to listento Kris talk more about sexual
adventures, go check that out.
I know I'm going to.
Well, thank you so much forcoming on the show and for being
who you are in the world.
I love it.
I'm grateful that you are thisperson and doing the sex magic
that you're doing in the world.
Kris (44:31):
Yeah, thank you so much.
It's been such a pleasure totalk to you.
I love talking about this.
It's obviously one of myfavorite topics.
And uh yeah, thank you formaking sex more accessible and
more talked about.
And yeah, just uh helpingpeople feel like they're a
little bit less alone.
Marvin (44:47):
Yes.
Hey, thanks for listening toFilthy Little Secrets.
I hope we left you feelinglight, free, and inspired to
explore your filthy sexualhorizons.
If you want more, subscribe toget all the filthy feature
funds.
If you're a sex positive womanand like to burn another broad
change, I want to talk to you.
Wanna come on the show and tellyour story?
Head to MorganhaleBooks.comslash podcast to learn more.com
(45:14):
slash podcast.
Until next time, Morgan Hale.
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