November 5, 2019 • 34 mins
Episode 3 of Focus on the Future is about quality of life. In this episode, host Allycia Wolff talks with Tori Hickenbotham-Westeren. Tori is The Arc Minnesota's Chief Planning & Program Officer. In their conversation, Allycia and Tori discuss what makes a good life, and how parents and caregivers can take steps to ensure their child is safe and happy.
Also in this episode, Allycia has a conversation with Dan Hood. Dan is the founder of HoodWave Disability Radio, a podcast by people with disabilities. Allycia and Dan talk about some of the barriers that people with disabilities face in living a good life. Dan also shares his advice on how to build confidence and create community and belonging.
Resources Mentioned in Episode 3
- HoodWave Disability Radio: www.hoodwave.org
- Al Etmanski, A Good Life: www.amazon.com/Good-Life-Al-Etmanski/dp/0968046223
- TED Talk: Robert Waldinger, What Makes a Good Life: Lessons from the longest study on happiness: www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness
- TED Talk: Stella Young, I'm Not Your Inspiration, Thank You Very Much: www.ted.com/talks/stella_young_i_m_not_your_inspiration_thank_you_very_much
- TED Talk: Judith Heumann, Our Fight for Disability Rights and Why We're Not Done Yet: www.ted.com/talks/judith_heumann_our_fight_for_disability_rights_and_why_we_re_not_done_yet
- TED Talk: Emilie Weight, 3 Things I Learned From My Intellectually Disabled Son: www.ted.com/talks/emilie_weight_3_things_i_learned_from_my_intellectually_disabled_son
- TED Talk: Elise Roy, When We Design for Disability, We All Benefit: www.ted.com/talks/elise_roy_when_we_design_for_disability_we_all_benefit
About Focus on the Future
You can find more information about Focus on the Future at arcminnesota.org/podcast. If Episode 3 inspired a question for an Arc Advocate, call The Arc Minnesota at 833.450.1494.
Focus on the Future is a podcast for caregivers and families supporting people with disabilities. In each episode, a conversation about the journey of discovering our best life and how to achieve it. While exploring legal, financial, and quality of life structures, Focus on the Future aims to get back to what matters most: living a fulfilling and meaningful life that is defined by each individual person.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Music (00:03):
[ music playing]
Allycia Wolff (00:06):
Welcome to Focus on the Future, a future planning
podcast for caregivers andfamilies, supporting people with
disabilities.
Focus on the Future is a podcastof The Arc Minnesota, a
nonprofit organizationadvocating for folks with
intellectual and developmentaldisabilities.
My name is Allycia Wolff.
I'm an advocate here at The ArcMinnesota and your host for
(00:26):
Focus on the Future.
In this week's episode, we'regoing to be talking about
quality of life.
As I had mentioned in a fewprevious episodes, future
planning is kind of like a threelegged stool, where each leg is
a vital component to planningfor and creating a good, happy
future.
And that's legal planning,financial planning, and quality
(00:48):
of life planning.
So today we're going to betalking about quality of life.
What makes a good life forpeople?
How can people live happily?
And what can parents andcaregivers do to plan for the
happiness of their child in thefuture?
Music (01:06):
[ music playing]
Dan Hood (01:06):
Well, if you second guess yourself, that's not good
either.
So you always have to havepeople on your side that will
also give you feedback and toencourage you.
That's the most important thing.
Don't listen to the naysayers.
Music (01:27):
[ music playing]
Allycia Wolff (01:27):
So let's dive in a little bit more to this, about
quality of life and howcaregivers can really plan for
the future and make sure thattheir child always has the
ability to have good quality oflife.
And I'm going to start thisconversation by talking with my
supervisor, Tori.
Tori has been working with TheArc for nearly 10 years now and
(01:51):
this whole time she hasdedicated her career to really
talking with families about thefuture of their child with a
disability.
And a passion that she has isthat everybody has the strengths
and the gifts to be able to be avalued member of their
community.
And so this is what she has as acore component of her advocacy
(02:11):
and future planning is thatevery single person has
something they can offer.
And often when we think aboutwhat we have to offer our
community, it's often somethingthat we take a lot of joy and a
lot of pride in.
So today I'm just going to bechatting with Tori a little bit
about all these things.
Thanks for being here today,Tori! Would you mind introducing
(02:35):
yourself please?
Tori H (02:37):
Sure.
I am Tori Hickenbotham-Westeren.
I am the Chief Planning andProgram Officer at The Arc
Minnesota.
I am also a sibling of a personwith a developmental disability
and an auntie of an individualwith a developmental disability.
Allycia Wolff (02:57):
And today we are going to be talking about what
makes a good life and how peoplelive a good life.
And I know in my conversationswith you, it's been a lot about
looking at the strengths ofpeople.
What made...
How was that different than likewhat you experienced in the
past?
Tori H (03:16):
Well I think that most of us who have a loved one with
a disability have been throughmeetings where we've been told
all of the things that our lovedone has to work on and has to do
to get better, um, or be better.
And those are their goals.
(03:37):
And then that's what themessages that we get about that
person that they need to workon, you know, going to the
bathroom independently or, youknow, properly socializing with
peers.
And I think that continuouslygetting that message about what
(04:01):
somebody needs to work on versuswhat makes them an awesome
individual is reallydisheartening.
Um, because you love thatperson.
Like I love my brother and Ilove my nephew.
And yes, I see the areasobviously that they need support
(04:24):
in.
And I also see what makes themamazing people and what makes me
love them.
And I want other people to seewhat makes me love them and not
the things that they need towork on.
So I think with person centeredplanning and planning in general
, it's about really drawing onthose things and recognizing the
(04:51):
worth of a person.
It's not about ignoring theareas where somebody needs help
or support because we all havethose areas.
It's about looking at thatwithin the context of the whole
person.
Allycia Wolff (05:10):
Have you seen any trends of what makes a good life
or like how people can go aboutreaching that?
Tori H (05:17):
Um, well there's been a lot of research done about what
makes a good life, right?
Because it is subjective.
Each person's definition isdifferent and it's really easy
to put our own definitions onsomeone else.
However, what the research hasshown is that there are themes
(05:38):
that make a good life forpeople.
So one of the biggest themes,and there's tons of great Ted
talks about this, isrelationships.
People who love the person,people who care about the
person, people who are there forthat person.
Which goes back to what I wassaying before, right?
(06:00):
Like I want people to love mybrother and my nephew in the
same way that I do.
So relationships is really thenumber one thing.
The other thing is home, a placeto call home.
That doesn't have to benecessarily like a physical
(06:23):
building that has windows,doors, a bed.
It can be more about a placewhere somebody feels comfortable
and feels like they can go whenthey've had a bad day and it's
their safe space.
For a lot of people it meansthat building with the windows
and the walls and the beds, um,and it doesn't have to be just
(06:46):
that.
It needs to be that safe place.
Allycia Wolff (06:49):
For me it's my dog.
[laughs]
Tori H (06:53):
Right.
Financial security is anotherone.
You know, we often say moneymakes the world go round.
And to some extent that's true.
It doesn't mean that a personhas to have a lot of money and
be a billionaire becauseactually they found that that
has negative effects on aperson.
But it does mean that anindividual has enough money to,
(07:18):
um, do the things that they wantto do and have the things,
within reason, that they want tohave.
And not have to worry aboutthat.
Other trends are, um, let mesee..
.
Allycia Wolff (07:34):
Contribution.
Tori H (07:35):
Yup.
A contribution.
So the feeling that they make adifference.
And that could be through work,it could be through
volunteering, it could even bethrough friendships.
There's really couple ofdifferent ways of thinking about
(07:55):
contribution.
That is, it's different than howwe generally think about it
because we often think aboutcontribution as, um, giving your
work to an employer.
You're contributing.
Or giving money to anorganization.
You're contributing.
But there's also what we callcontributions of being.
(08:19):
And that's how, like I can bewith a good friend of mine and
that person, if I'm having a badday makes me feel better.
Just by being around her,because of who she is as a
person and how she acts.
So it could also be, um, I havea good friend who happens to
(08:45):
have an intellectual anddevelopmental disability, and
one of her contributions to meis that she really teaches to
slow down.
And to pay attention tononverbal cues that people give
because that's actually most ofpeople's communication.
(09:07):
I was actually thinking aboutthis this morning that, a lot of
parents talk about how whentheir kid is a toddler, it's
really frustrating before theylearn to talk because the
toddler can't communicate whatthey want with their mom and
dad.
And so then the toddler has alot of meltdowns.
And I have a young child at homeand I realized that we haven't
(09:33):
had a lot of those samestruggles with not understanding
what she was trying tocommunicate with us.
And I think it's because of myfriend that we've become so used
to paying so much more attentionto those nonverbal cues, that
we're able to read my daughter'snonverbal cues much faster and
(09:56):
more adeptly than we would hadmy friend not been in our lives.
And so there are a lot of peoplewho would look at my friend and
see, to be frank, a charitycase, right?
Somebody who relies on thesystem, someone who always
relies on the support of otherpeople, somebody who needs as
(10:22):
much help as anybody could give.
And yet she's given me so muchin my life through that
contribution of being.
Right?
So it's just a different way ofthinking about that and
recognizing the value thatpeople bring.
Allycia Wolff (10:39):
And I think that what you're referring to is the
study that Al Etmanski did inCanada called A Good Life.
And he wrote a book about it,but it's five major components
that lead a good life foranybody.
And so what he found was that itwas relationships and a
community, home, a contribution,financial security or wealth,
(11:03):
and then choice.
Having the ability to say whatyou want out of your life,
everything from what's forbreakfast to where you live, to
being able to really feel likeyou have control in your life.
And I think that like havingcontrol and choice is something
that we all innately takeadvantage of in our own life.
(11:24):
And we forget how important thatcan be.
Tori H (11:28):
Yeah.
And I think there's aninteresting trend right now kind
of in the disability world wherepeople are throwing the word
choice around.
So it's a little bit of adifficult word to catch right
now because saying that somebodyhas a choice when we give them
two options, first of all isn'tmuch of a choice.
(11:49):
And secondly, if you give aperson a choice that they have
no previous experience with orno context to in their lives,
they're going to always choosethe one that is more comfortable
or more known.
So for instance, if you give aperson a choice between...
(12:12):
Or, a person who's always beenat a day training and
habilitation center, if you givethem the choice, if they would
like to stay at the day trainingcenter or be employed in the
community, as people like to say, a lot of times they're going
(12:38):
to choose to stay at the daytraining and habilitation
because it's what they know.
Allycia Wolff (12:43):
It's what's comfortable.
There's friends there, there'speople there and getting a job
at Walmart[laughs] or whereveris something that's scary and
unknown.
Tori H (12:55):
Yeah.
And they have no context, lifecontext, for even what that
means.
Because throughout their entirelives, we rarely have prepared
people for that future.
Allycia Wolff (13:08):
So what do you think real choice looks like?
Tori H (13:12):
I think real choice is about having those experiences
and the exposure to a variety ofoptions to be able to choose
from.
Because you have to haveknowledge and exposure to be
able to make an educated choice.
Allycia Wolff (13:34):
And the ability to make mistakes, too.
Tori H (13:36):
Yes, exactly.
I think so often we give peoplechoices that are between two
evils, right?
And so we don't give them theopportunity.
We say...
(13:57):
I'm babbling right now.
Um, but I think of it like withmy toddler, right?
I say, do you want eggs forbreakfast or do you want cereal
for breakfast?
Now there are a lot of otherbreakfast options, but I'm only
giving her the two that I wantto make.
And I think we do that withpeople with disabilities a lot
(14:17):
because we are scared of whatthe other options are or what
that could mean.
And so we don't let people takethat risk.
There is a wonderful professorout of Mankato State University,
(14:39):
and she said something thatreally stuck with me.
And she said, we have low, forpeople with disabilities, we
have low expectations and highstandards.
And what she meant by that wasthat for a lot of people with
disabilities, we don't expectthat they're going to succeed in
(15:03):
the ways we normally measuresuccess.
And yet we tend to have superhigh expectations for people
with disabilities that wewouldn't put on somebody else.
And what I mean by that is, aswe think about quality of life,
and we talked about, you know,having a place to call home,
(15:23):
I'll use that as an example.
A lot of times we find thatpeople with disabilities,
they'll say, you know, I want tolive on my own.
I want a house of my own, oreven I want an apartment with a
roommate.
And we say to that person, well,you can't do that until you know
(15:46):
how to do your laundry, and youknow how to cook, and you know
how to clean, and you need toshower every single day.
And so we have all of theseexpectations that we put on this
person that they have to achievebefore we will let them have
that thing that leads to qualityof life.
And yet, if the person didn'thave a disability, we wouldn't
(16:09):
do that.
How many kids are sent tocollege having no idea how to do
their laundry?
I'll tell you me for one.
No idea.
And I still don't cook.
Thankfully my husband cooks.
Right?
And so in our, in our own lives,we figure those things out as we
(16:33):
go because we're allowed to takethose risks.
And you know, we often say asfamily members, I want my son or
daughter to have a good qualityof life.
And what we normally mean whenwe say that, myself included, is
that we want them to be healthyand safe.
Allycia Wolff (16:53):
Hmm-mmm.
Tori H (16:57):
And yet the research says nothing about being healthy
and safe as being the number oneand two indicators of what makes
a quality of life.
Right?
So we have to think about, whenwe're thinking about quality of
life, we have to think aboutthose other things that actually
lead to a quality of life.
Allycia Wolff (17:18):
So how do you, how do you strike that balance?
How do you, as a caregiver?
Because you're always going towant a loved one to be safe and
healthy.
But then what research shows andwhat we all experience in our
life is that like having fun andhaving choice and having a good
home and people that we connectwith is actually what leads to a
(17:38):
good life.
So how do you balance that?
Tori H (17:41):
Um, I think it's about looking at the risk and saying
to yourself, as a family member,as a caregiver, what is the
worst thing that could happen?
And really honestly getting doomand gloom about it.
(18:02):
What is the absolute worst thingthat could happen if my loved
one took this risk?
And then once you've done that,say, okay, if our goal is for
the person to be able to dothis, what do we need to do or
put into place as far assupports or precautions so that
(18:27):
that doesn't happen.
It's not about necessarilyshying away from that fear,
because it's there.
It's gonna keep you up at night.
But it's about meeting it headon because there are a lot of
things that you can put intoplace.
And then there are some thingsthat you just can't prepare for
(18:49):
and the person can fail.
And then the person learnsbecause that's how we all learn.
We often learn more from ourfailures than we do our
successes.
And most often, the thing thatwe fear is going to be the worst
case, what's going to happen,never happens.
(19:10):
You know, so if it's a situationof life and death, then yes,
obviously that may be too highof a risk.
But often the risk is that theperson is not going to have
clean clothes to wear.
Which is not life or death.
It just means they're going tobe wearing dirty clothes or
they're going to figure out howto do their laundry or have
(19:32):
someone help them.
Allycia Wolff (19:34):
Yeah.
And if I think back on my lifepersonally and what experiences
I've grown the most from, it'sbeen when I have failed and made
mistakes, large or small, andthat has been what has created
my character and who I am andhas made me make better
decisions in the future.
(19:54):
And I want to give like justiceto, that's a really hard spot
for people to feel comfortablein is, is like going into that
unknown, like you're jumpinginto a pool both feet like
forward.
Tori H (20:10):
Yeah.
And it's, I mean it is so scaryas a parent, you want to keep
your kid in a bubble for as longas possible because you don't
want anything to happen.
And you know, I as a parent, Ican relate to that.
And again, I have to remindmyself that if I don't let my
(20:32):
children take those risks, theyaren't ever going to learn.
And I, as much as I love themand adore them and always want
to be with them, I don't wantthem dependent on me.
Allycia Wolff (20:45):
Yeah.
You want their own life.
Tori H (20:47):
Yup.
For their entire lives.
Because the things that I wantfor them, having a home of their
own, having friends, havingrelationships, all of that comes
through taking risks.
And if I keep them in thatbubble and dependent on me,
they're never going to havethose things.
(21:07):
And so I have, you know, I haveto weigh that balance for
myself.
And I understand that as aparent of a person with a
disability, it's even moredifficult because you're told
over and over again, this childneeds you, this child is
vulnerable.
Allycia Wolff (21:25):
You sit in meeting after meeting, hearing
all the things that your childcan't do and all the things they
need to fix.
Tori H (21:32):
Exactly.
So that makes it even moredifficult.
And I, you know, I understandthat.
And so it makes it difficult forparents.
And so, you know, everything Isay it's not, it's not to say,
Hey parents, you're doing itwrong.
It's, I get it.
You know, it's tough.
Allycia Wolff (21:54):
It's a constant challenge and need to reevaluate
how you're thinking about it.
Tori H (21:59):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Every day, every day, every newchallenge.
Allycia Wolff (22:06):
Thanks Tori.
As you can probably tell fromour conversation so far, there's
no one way that you can ensurethat somebody always is going to
live a good life.
It depends on a lot of factors.
It depends on a lot ofpersonalities.
It depends on access todifferent things.
(22:27):
And there's a lot of differentvariables that are at play, but
one thing is consistent and thatis ensuring that somebody has a
voice.
And when I say voice, I don'tnecessarily mean an actual voice
because that would imply that aperson that doesn't use words to
communicate, can't have a goodlife.
(22:47):
And as Tori mentioned in theprevious interview, is that
somebody who has any level ofdisability can live a very good
life and can make connectionswith people.
So what I'm trying to say isthat the overarching theme to
people living a good life ishaving a say in what that life
(23:10):
looks like and havingconnections and people that
value them.
And so overall, that is a waythat you can ensure that
somebody is living a good life.
Is by setting up that to happen.
So making sure that your lovedone has people in their life
that value them individually andthat they have access to do what
(23:33):
they want and choice in whatthey want.
And can just have fun with ourtime.
So next I want to share aconversation that I had with Dan
Hood, who is a self advocate andreally heavily involved in The
Arc and a lot of our policy workand self advocacy work and is
(23:53):
also just a really wonderfulhuman being.
And Dan wanted to share hisexperience in what makes a good
life because he is passionateabout the fact that everybody
can have a good life.
And so I will just jump rightinto the interview with Dan
then.
Hey Dan! Welcome to Focus on theFuture.
(24:16):
Thanks for coming in today.
Dan Hood (24:18):
Oh, thank you! Thank you very much.
Allycia Wolff (24:20):
So Dan is involved in self-advocacy around
the state of Minnesota and youlive in St.
Paul and you have a radio show.
What's the name of your radioshow?
Dan Hood (24:33):
Yeah, it's HoodWave Disability Radio.
Allycia Wolff (24:35):
HoodWave Disability Radio.
And what do you talk about onyour show?
Dan Hood (24:38):
Well, right now we're in the process of getting,
getting information, talkingabout the information, and to
really focus on the issues.
Allycia Wolff (24:50):
Okay.
And it's basically, it's likemostly issues that people with
disabilities face.
Dan Hood (24:54):
Correct.
Allycia Wolff (24:55):
Okay.
And it's, and it's like, it'sdifferent events that are
happening and it's differentnews that's going on and it's
for people with disabilities andit's for the community and it's
for families.
Right?
Dan Hood (25:08):
That's right.
Allycia Wolff (25:08):
Great! And people can go where to listen to it?
Dan Hood (25:13):
Oh yeah.
They can go to www.hoodwave.organd to listen to our podcast.
Allycia Wolff (25:21):
Absolutely.
Well, thank you for being onthis podcast today and I just
wanted to talk a little bitabout what it means to live a
good life because that's, that'swhat this episode is all about
is how do you live a happy life.
So I'm wondering from yourperspective, what makes you
happy?
Dan Hood (25:40):
Family, friends, spending time with family.
I mean that's, but that's thebest thing.
You know, my wife is a goodfriend.
I mean we get along really well.
Allycia Wolff (25:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You and Leah, you've beenmarried for how long?
Dan Hood (25:54):
For over a year.
Allycia Wolff (25:55):
For over a year now.
Great.
And would you say that you'rehappy with your relationships
right now?
Like you feel like you have agood circle of people around
you?
Dan Hood (26:04):
Yes.
Allycia Wolff (26:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that makes you happybecause...
Dan Hood (26:11):
Gives me something to look forward to every day.
Allycia Wolff (26:13):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good to feel support fromfriends and family.
Dan Hood (26:17):
Yes.
Allycia Wolff (26:18):
Yeah.
And then, you've mentioned thatyou haven't, yeah, always gotten
that support from people in yourlife before, like you've had
teachers or different peoplethat have supported you that
have said, Oh, well that dream'snot realistic.
You can't do that.
Yeah.
And when people say that kind ofstuff to you, what's your
response?
(26:38):
What do you say?
Dan Hood (26:40):
Oh, uh, my response is, I can pretty much do
anything.
I just need you to give me achance.
And also what is important is togive yourself a chance.
Allycia Wolff (26:51):
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Dan Hood (26:53):
Well, if you second guess yourself, that's not good
either.
And so you always have to havepeople on your side that will
also give you feedback and toencourage you.
That's the most important thing.
Allycia Wolff (27:07):
Yeah.
So surround yourself with peoplethat encourage you and then also
believe in yourself.
Dan Hood (27:12):
Don't listen to the naysayers.
Allycia Wolff (27:16):
Yeah.
[laughs] Yeah.
Cause there'll always be peoplethat tell you that you can't,
right?
Dan Hood (27:19):
Yeah!
Allycia Wolff (27:19):
And when you think about your future and
stuff that you want to happen inyour life, what are some of your
goals and hopes for your future?
Dan Hood (27:36):
Well, my hopes is to basically have a family.
Children that's, you know,that's my heart's desire.
If I can't have a kid well mywife and I will have, you know,
dogs and lizards.
I mean anything that has fourlegs that...
Unfortunately can't be cats, butI'll be able to do other
(27:57):
everything else.
Allycia Wolff (27:58):
Are you allergic to cats?
Dan Hood (27:59):
No, my wife is.
Allycia Wolff (28:00):
Ah, so no cats.
Dan Hood (28:02):
No cats!
Allycia Wolff (28:02):
So dogs and lizards.
[laughs] So that's what you wantfor your future is a family, and
a community, and a place thatyou feel like you belong.
Dan Hood (28:14):
Yeah.
I believe everybody should bewelcome to or in a community.
That's the biggest, you know,that's my passion is that
everybody to be included.
Allycia Wolff (28:28):
Same.
Yeah.
And that's what you talk a lotabout on your podcast, right?
Dan Hood (28:32):
Yes.
Allycia Wolff (28:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so today, the audience ofthe people that are listening to
this podcast, Focus on theFuture, is mostly parents and
caregivers that are supportingpeople with disabilities.
Is there anything that you wantto share with parents?
Dan Hood (28:53):
Yeah.
To encourage your children.
Help them.
You know, just educate them.
I mean, everybody learnsdifferently.
I learn differently.
So does everyone else.
Yeah, just be patient.
Love them.
That's all of the basic...
That's the best thing you coulddo is just love them and be
(29:14):
patient.
Allycia Wolff (29:15):
Love and be patient.
Have faith.
Dan Hood (29:17):
And have faith.
Allycia Wolff (29:17):
Yeah.
That's great.
And you are very involved inself advocacy.
What does self-advocacy mean toyou?
Dan Hood (29:30):
To have a voice, to speak up for yourself and
speaking for the people thatcannot speak for themselves.
To be an advocate, basically.
That's it.
Advocating for oneself or forothers.
Allycia Wolff (29:44):
Yeah.
Using your voice.
Dan Hood (29:46):
Using your voice.
Allycia Wolff (29:47):
And why is that important?
Dan Hood (29:51):
To build self-confidence.
Allycia Wolff (29:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think that, too, it'simportant that people with
disabilities are goodself-advocates because too often
there's a lot of people thatwill tell people with
disabilities that no, you can'tdo stuff.
And so to be a goodself-advocate means that you're
(30:13):
going to speak up for yourselfand know what your worth is and
know what you want out of life.
Dan Hood (30:21):
Yup.
That's correct.
Yeah.
Allycia Wolff (30:22):
Yeah.
Great.
Is there anything else that youwant to share on this podcast or
want to share in general?
Dan Hood (30:29):
Not really.
I think everything's gonna begood.
Allycia Wolff (30:35):
Perfect.
Thanks for coming in, Dan.
Dan Hood (30:37):
[laughs] Not a problem.
Allycia Wolff (30:41):
Many, many thanks to Dan for coming in and
chatting with me and sharing hisexperience about what it means
to live a happy and a good lifefor him.
I really appreciated sittingdown and chatting with Dan today
and I'm glad that you guys wereall able to hear it as well.
That mostly wraps up our episodefor today.
I think that there are manydifferent aspects of what makes
(31:03):
a good life.
And a few takeaways from this isthat it's different for
everybody, but the commonthreads are consistent with
relationships and security andhaving choice.
And earlier in the episode Torihad mentioned that there's many,
many great Ted Talks on thissubject specifically.
(31:24):
And a few that I wanted to pointout are...
I just went to Google and IGoogled Ted Talks A Good Life.
And the first episode that cameup was one from 2015 and this is
a Ted Talk that I personallyhave probably watched five or
six times.
So that's a really greatlongitudinal study on what it
(31:44):
means to live a good, happylife.
And this is consistent withdisability or without
disability.
And then a few other ones tonote are a Ted Talk done by
Stella Young, and then a TedTalk that also is called Our
Fight for Disability Rights.
And then another one is ThreeThings I Learned From My
(32:06):
Intellectually Disabled Son.
Also, Elise Roy does a greatone.
So basically if you just look upTed Talks, there's a lot of
really great content, um, and amillion really wonderful
podcasts about how to live agood life.
So I will let you explore thaton your own and I will see you
next time.
Thank you so very much.
(32:27):
Have a great day.
Music (32:32):
[ music playing]
Allycia Wolff (32:32):
If this episode inspired any questions for an
advocate at The Arc Minnesota,please give us a call.
You can reach us at(833)450-1494.
Focus on the Future is a podcastof The Arc Minnesota.
Subscribe to the podcast on yourfavorite streaming service to
stay up to date with the newestepisodes.
(32:53):
If you're enjoying listening,please support the podcast and
our mission by donating atarcminnesota.
org/podcast.
On the next episode of Focus onthe Future, we're going to be
talking about financialplanning.
A topic that most everybodydreads talking about.
I'm going to be interviewing afinancial planner here locally
(33:16):
in Minneapolis, Minnesota whohas a child with a disability.
And he's going to talk to usabout how financial planning
doesn't need to be somethingthat causes you misery.
He compares it to going to thedentist.
If you don't go to the dentistvery often and you go once every
decade, that visit isn't goingto be very positive, but if you
(33:38):
go once every six months, itdoesn't end up being that bad.
So we'll talk about financialplanning in our next episode.
Please join us.
Our podcast music is composedand recorded by Micah Kadwell.
Micah is a talented guitaristfrom New Brighton, Minnesota who
also has autism.
(33:58):
Thank you, Micah! I'd also liketo say a special thanks to Chloe
Ahlf, who is the producer ofFocus on the Future, and the
sound engineer, Brent Nelson.
Thank you so much, Chloe andBrent! We are all equal parts of
this podcast.
Thanks for joining us today andwe'll see you next time.
(34:18):
Have a great one.
[ music playing]
Allycia Wolff (00:06):
Welcome to Focus on the Future, a future planning
podcast for caregivers andfamilies, supporting people with
disabilities.
Focus on the Future is a podcastof The Arc Minnesota, a
nonprofit organizationadvocating for folks with
intellectual and developmentaldisabilities.
My name is Allycia Wolff.
I'm an advocate here at The ArcMinnesota and your host for
(00:26):
Focus on the Future.
In this week's episode, we'regoing to be talking about
quality of life.
As I had mentioned in a fewprevious episodes, future
planning is kind of like a threelegged stool, where each leg is
a vital component to planningfor and creating a good, happy
future.
And that's legal planning,financial planning, and quality
(00:48):
of life planning.
So today we're going to betalking about quality of life.
What makes a good life forpeople?
How can people live happily?
And what can parents andcaregivers do to plan for the
happiness of their child in thefuture?
Music (01:06):
[ music playing]
Dan Hood (01:06):
Well, if you second guess yourself, that's not good
either.
So you always have to havepeople on your side that will
also give you feedback and toencourage you.
That's the most important thing.
Don't listen to the naysayers.
Music (01:27):
[ music playing]
Allycia Wolff (01:27):
So let's dive in a little bit more to this, about
quality of life and howcaregivers can really plan for
the future and make sure thattheir child always has the
ability to have good quality oflife.
And I'm going to start thisconversation by talking with my
supervisor, Tori.
Tori has been working with TheArc for nearly 10 years now and
(01:51):
this whole time she hasdedicated her career to really
talking with families about thefuture of their child with a
disability.
And a passion that she has isthat everybody has the strengths
and the gifts to be able to be avalued member of their
community.
And so this is what she has as acore component of her advocacy
(02:11):
and future planning is thatevery single person has
something they can offer.
And often when we think aboutwhat we have to offer our
community, it's often somethingthat we take a lot of joy and a
lot of pride in.
So today I'm just going to bechatting with Tori a little bit
about all these things.
Thanks for being here today,Tori! Would you mind introducing
(02:35):
yourself please?
Tori H (02:37):
Sure.
I am Tori Hickenbotham-Westeren.
I am the Chief Planning andProgram Officer at The Arc
Minnesota.
I am also a sibling of a personwith a developmental disability
and an auntie of an individualwith a developmental disability.
Allycia Wolff (02:57):
And today we are going to be talking about what
makes a good life and how peoplelive a good life.
And I know in my conversationswith you, it's been a lot about
looking at the strengths ofpeople.
What made...
How was that different than likewhat you experienced in the
past?
Tori H (03:16):
Well I think that most of us who have a loved one with
a disability have been throughmeetings where we've been told
all of the things that our lovedone has to work on and has to do
to get better, um, or be better.
And those are their goals.
(03:37):
And then that's what themessages that we get about that
person that they need to workon, you know, going to the
bathroom independently or, youknow, properly socializing with
peers.
And I think that continuouslygetting that message about what
(04:01):
somebody needs to work on versuswhat makes them an awesome
individual is reallydisheartening.
Um, because you love thatperson.
Like I love my brother and Ilove my nephew.
And yes, I see the areasobviously that they need support
(04:24):
in.
And I also see what makes themamazing people and what makes me
love them.
And I want other people to seewhat makes me love them and not
the things that they need towork on.
So I think with person centeredplanning and planning in general
, it's about really drawing onthose things and recognizing the
(04:51):
worth of a person.
It's not about ignoring theareas where somebody needs help
or support because we all havethose areas.
It's about looking at thatwithin the context of the whole
person.
Allycia Wolff (05:10):
Have you seen any trends of what makes a good life
or like how people can go aboutreaching that?
Tori H (05:17):
Um, well there's been a lot of research done about what
makes a good life, right?
Because it is subjective.
Each person's definition isdifferent and it's really easy
to put our own definitions onsomeone else.
However, what the research hasshown is that there are themes
(05:38):
that make a good life forpeople.
So one of the biggest themes,and there's tons of great Ted
talks about this, isrelationships.
People who love the person,people who care about the
person, people who are there forthat person.
Which goes back to what I wassaying before, right?
(06:00):
Like I want people to love mybrother and my nephew in the
same way that I do.
So relationships is really thenumber one thing.
The other thing is home, a placeto call home.
That doesn't have to benecessarily like a physical
(06:23):
building that has windows,doors, a bed.
It can be more about a placewhere somebody feels comfortable
and feels like they can go whenthey've had a bad day and it's
their safe space.
For a lot of people it meansthat building with the windows
and the walls and the beds, um,and it doesn't have to be just
(06:46):
that.
It needs to be that safe place.
Allycia Wolff (06:49):
For me it's my dog.
[laughs]
Tori H (06:53):
Right.
Financial security is anotherone.
You know, we often say moneymakes the world go round.
And to some extent that's true.
It doesn't mean that a personhas to have a lot of money and
be a billionaire becauseactually they found that that
has negative effects on aperson.
But it does mean that anindividual has enough money to,
(07:18):
um, do the things that they wantto do and have the things,
within reason, that they want tohave.
And not have to worry aboutthat.
Other trends are, um, let mesee..
.
Allycia Wolff (07:34):
Contribution.
Tori H (07:35):
Yup.
A contribution.
So the feeling that they make adifference.
And that could be through work,it could be through
volunteering, it could even bethrough friendships.
There's really couple ofdifferent ways of thinking about
(07:55):
contribution.
That is, it's different than howwe generally think about it
because we often think aboutcontribution as, um, giving your
work to an employer.
You're contributing.
Or giving money to anorganization.
You're contributing.
But there's also what we callcontributions of being.
(08:19):
And that's how, like I can bewith a good friend of mine and
that person, if I'm having a badday makes me feel better.
Just by being around her,because of who she is as a
person and how she acts.
So it could also be, um, I havea good friend who happens to
(08:45):
have an intellectual anddevelopmental disability, and
one of her contributions to meis that she really teaches to
slow down.
And to pay attention tononverbal cues that people give
because that's actually most ofpeople's communication.
(09:07):
I was actually thinking aboutthis this morning that, a lot of
parents talk about how whentheir kid is a toddler, it's
really frustrating before theylearn to talk because the
toddler can't communicate whatthey want with their mom and
dad.
And so then the toddler has alot of meltdowns.
And I have a young child at homeand I realized that we haven't
(09:33):
had a lot of those samestruggles with not understanding
what she was trying tocommunicate with us.
And I think it's because of myfriend that we've become so used
to paying so much more attentionto those nonverbal cues, that
we're able to read my daughter'snonverbal cues much faster and
(09:56):
more adeptly than we would hadmy friend not been in our lives.
And so there are a lot of peoplewho would look at my friend and
see, to be frank, a charitycase, right?
Somebody who relies on thesystem, someone who always
relies on the support of otherpeople, somebody who needs as
(10:22):
much help as anybody could give.
And yet she's given me so muchin my life through that
contribution of being.
Right?
So it's just a different way ofthinking about that and
recognizing the value thatpeople bring.
Allycia Wolff (10:39):
And I think that what you're referring to is the
study that Al Etmanski did inCanada called A Good Life.
And he wrote a book about it,but it's five major components
that lead a good life foranybody.
And so what he found was that itwas relationships and a
community, home, a contribution,financial security or wealth,
(11:03):
and then choice.
Having the ability to say whatyou want out of your life,
everything from what's forbreakfast to where you live, to
being able to really feel likeyou have control in your life.
And I think that like havingcontrol and choice is something
that we all innately takeadvantage of in our own life.
(11:24):
And we forget how important thatcan be.
Tori H (11:28):
Yeah.
And I think there's aninteresting trend right now kind
of in the disability world wherepeople are throwing the word
choice around.
So it's a little bit of adifficult word to catch right
now because saying that somebodyhas a choice when we give them
two options, first of all isn'tmuch of a choice.
(11:49):
And secondly, if you give aperson a choice that they have
no previous experience with orno context to in their lives,
they're going to always choosethe one that is more comfortable
or more known.
So for instance, if you give aperson a choice between...
(12:12):
Or, a person who's always beenat a day training and
habilitation center, if you givethem the choice, if they would
like to stay at the day trainingcenter or be employed in the
community, as people like to say, a lot of times they're going
(12:38):
to choose to stay at the daytraining and habilitation
because it's what they know.
Allycia Wolff (12:43):
It's what's comfortable.
There's friends there, there'speople there and getting a job
at Walmart[laughs] or whereveris something that's scary and
unknown.
Tori H (12:55):
Yeah.
And they have no context, lifecontext, for even what that
means.
Because throughout their entirelives, we rarely have prepared
people for that future.
Allycia Wolff (13:08):
So what do you think real choice looks like?
Tori H (13:12):
I think real choice is about having those experiences
and the exposure to a variety ofoptions to be able to choose
from.
Because you have to haveknowledge and exposure to be
able to make an educated choice.
Allycia Wolff (13:34):
And the ability to make mistakes, too.
Tori H (13:36):
Yes, exactly.
I think so often we give peoplechoices that are between two
evils, right?
And so we don't give them theopportunity.
We say...
(13:57):
I'm babbling right now.
Um, but I think of it like withmy toddler, right?
I say, do you want eggs forbreakfast or do you want cereal
for breakfast?
Now there are a lot of otherbreakfast options, but I'm only
giving her the two that I wantto make.
And I think we do that withpeople with disabilities a lot
(14:17):
because we are scared of whatthe other options are or what
that could mean.
And so we don't let people takethat risk.
There is a wonderful professorout of Mankato State University,
(14:39):
and she said something thatreally stuck with me.
And she said, we have low, forpeople with disabilities, we
have low expectations and highstandards.
And what she meant by that wasthat for a lot of people with
disabilities, we don't expectthat they're going to succeed in
(15:03):
the ways we normally measuresuccess.
And yet we tend to have superhigh expectations for people
with disabilities that wewouldn't put on somebody else.
And what I mean by that is, aswe think about quality of life,
and we talked about, you know,having a place to call home,
(15:23):
I'll use that as an example.
A lot of times we find thatpeople with disabilities,
they'll say, you know, I want tolive on my own.
I want a house of my own, oreven I want an apartment with a
roommate.
And we say to that person, well,you can't do that until you know
(15:46):
how to do your laundry, and youknow how to cook, and you know
how to clean, and you need toshower every single day.
And so we have all of theseexpectations that we put on this
person that they have to achievebefore we will let them have
that thing that leads to qualityof life.
And yet, if the person didn'thave a disability, we wouldn't
(16:09):
do that.
How many kids are sent tocollege having no idea how to do
their laundry?
I'll tell you me for one.
No idea.
And I still don't cook.
Thankfully my husband cooks.
Right?
And so in our, in our own lives,we figure those things out as we
(16:33):
go because we're allowed to takethose risks.
And you know, we often say asfamily members, I want my son or
daughter to have a good qualityof life.
And what we normally mean whenwe say that, myself included, is
that we want them to be healthyand safe.
Allycia Wolff (16:53):
Hmm-mmm.
Tori H (16:57):
And yet the research says nothing about being healthy
and safe as being the number oneand two indicators of what makes
a quality of life.
Right?
So we have to think about, whenwe're thinking about quality of
life, we have to think aboutthose other things that actually
lead to a quality of life.
Allycia Wolff (17:18):
So how do you, how do you strike that balance?
How do you, as a caregiver?
Because you're always going towant a loved one to be safe and
healthy.
But then what research shows andwhat we all experience in our
life is that like having fun andhaving choice and having a good
home and people that we connectwith is actually what leads to a
(17:38):
good life.
So how do you balance that?
Tori H (17:41):
Um, I think it's about looking at the risk and saying
to yourself, as a family member,as a caregiver, what is the
worst thing that could happen?
And really honestly getting doomand gloom about it.
(18:02):
What is the absolute worst thingthat could happen if my loved
one took this risk?
And then once you've done that,say, okay, if our goal is for
the person to be able to dothis, what do we need to do or
put into place as far assupports or precautions so that
(18:27):
that doesn't happen.
It's not about necessarilyshying away from that fear,
because it's there.
It's gonna keep you up at night.
But it's about meeting it headon because there are a lot of
things that you can put intoplace.
And then there are some thingsthat you just can't prepare for
(18:49):
and the person can fail.
And then the person learnsbecause that's how we all learn.
We often learn more from ourfailures than we do our
successes.
And most often, the thing thatwe fear is going to be the worst
case, what's going to happen,never happens.
(19:10):
You know, so if it's a situationof life and death, then yes,
obviously that may be too highof a risk.
But often the risk is that theperson is not going to have
clean clothes to wear.
Which is not life or death.
It just means they're going tobe wearing dirty clothes or
they're going to figure out howto do their laundry or have
(19:32):
someone help them.
Allycia Wolff (19:34):
Yeah.
And if I think back on my lifepersonally and what experiences
I've grown the most from, it'sbeen when I have failed and made
mistakes, large or small, andthat has been what has created
my character and who I am andhas made me make better
decisions in the future.
(19:54):
And I want to give like justiceto, that's a really hard spot
for people to feel comfortablein is, is like going into that
unknown, like you're jumpinginto a pool both feet like
forward.
Tori H (20:10):
Yeah.
And it's, I mean it is so scaryas a parent, you want to keep
your kid in a bubble for as longas possible because you don't
want anything to happen.
And you know, I as a parent, Ican relate to that.
And again, I have to remindmyself that if I don't let my
(20:32):
children take those risks, theyaren't ever going to learn.
And I, as much as I love themand adore them and always want
to be with them, I don't wantthem dependent on me.
Allycia Wolff (20:45):
Yeah.
You want their own life.
Tori H (20:47):
Yup.
For their entire lives.
Because the things that I wantfor them, having a home of their
own, having friends, havingrelationships, all of that comes
through taking risks.
And if I keep them in thatbubble and dependent on me,
they're never going to havethose things.
(21:07):
And so I have, you know, I haveto weigh that balance for
myself.
And I understand that as aparent of a person with a
disability, it's even moredifficult because you're told
over and over again, this childneeds you, this child is
vulnerable.
Allycia Wolff (21:25):
You sit in meeting after meeting, hearing
all the things that your childcan't do and all the things they
need to fix.
Tori H (21:32):
Exactly.
So that makes it even moredifficult.
And I, you know, I understandthat.
And so it makes it difficult forparents.
And so, you know, everything Isay it's not, it's not to say,
Hey parents, you're doing itwrong.
It's, I get it.
You know, it's tough.
Allycia Wolff (21:54):
It's a constant challenge and need to reevaluate
how you're thinking about it.
Tori H (21:59):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Every day, every day, every newchallenge.
Allycia Wolff (22:06):
Thanks Tori.
As you can probably tell fromour conversation so far, there's
no one way that you can ensurethat somebody always is going to
live a good life.
It depends on a lot of factors.
It depends on a lot ofpersonalities.
It depends on access todifferent things.
(22:27):
And there's a lot of differentvariables that are at play, but
one thing is consistent and thatis ensuring that somebody has a
voice.
And when I say voice, I don'tnecessarily mean an actual voice
because that would imply that aperson that doesn't use words to
communicate, can't have a goodlife.
(22:47):
And as Tori mentioned in theprevious interview, is that
somebody who has any level ofdisability can live a very good
life and can make connectionswith people.
So what I'm trying to say isthat the overarching theme to
people living a good life ishaving a say in what that life
(23:10):
looks like and havingconnections and people that
value them.
And so overall, that is a waythat you can ensure that
somebody is living a good life.
Is by setting up that to happen.
So making sure that your lovedone has people in their life
that value them individually andthat they have access to do what
(23:33):
they want and choice in whatthey want.
And can just have fun with ourtime.
So next I want to share aconversation that I had with Dan
Hood, who is a self advocate andreally heavily involved in The
Arc and a lot of our policy workand self advocacy work and is
(23:53):
also just a really wonderfulhuman being.
And Dan wanted to share hisexperience in what makes a good
life because he is passionateabout the fact that everybody
can have a good life.
And so I will just jump rightinto the interview with Dan
then.
Hey Dan! Welcome to Focus on theFuture.
(24:16):
Thanks for coming in today.
Dan Hood (24:18):
Oh, thank you! Thank you very much.
Allycia Wolff (24:20):
So Dan is involved in self-advocacy around
the state of Minnesota and youlive in St.
Paul and you have a radio show.
What's the name of your radioshow?
Dan Hood (24:33):
Yeah, it's HoodWave Disability Radio.
Allycia Wolff (24:35):
HoodWave Disability Radio.
And what do you talk about onyour show?
Dan Hood (24:38):
Well, right now we're in the process of getting,
getting information, talkingabout the information, and to
really focus on the issues.
Allycia Wolff (24:50):
Okay.
And it's basically, it's likemostly issues that people with
disabilities face.
Dan Hood (24:54):
Correct.
Allycia Wolff (24:55):
Okay.
And it's, and it's like, it'sdifferent events that are
happening and it's differentnews that's going on and it's
for people with disabilities andit's for the community and it's
for families.
Right?
Dan Hood (25:08):
That's right.
Allycia Wolff (25:08):
Great! And people can go where to listen to it?
Dan Hood (25:13):
Oh yeah.
They can go to www.hoodwave.organd to listen to our podcast.
Allycia Wolff (25:21):
Absolutely.
Well, thank you for being onthis podcast today and I just
wanted to talk a little bitabout what it means to live a
good life because that's, that'swhat this episode is all about
is how do you live a happy life.
So I'm wondering from yourperspective, what makes you
happy?
Dan Hood (25:40):
Family, friends, spending time with family.
I mean that's, but that's thebest thing.
You know, my wife is a goodfriend.
I mean we get along really well.
Allycia Wolff (25:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You and Leah, you've beenmarried for how long?
Dan Hood (25:54):
For over a year.
Allycia Wolff (25:55):
For over a year now.
Great.
And would you say that you'rehappy with your relationships
right now?
Like you feel like you have agood circle of people around
you?
Dan Hood (26:04):
Yes.
Allycia Wolff (26:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that makes you happybecause...
Dan Hood (26:11):
Gives me something to look forward to every day.
Allycia Wolff (26:13):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good to feel support fromfriends and family.
Dan Hood (26:17):
Yes.
Allycia Wolff (26:18):
Yeah.
And then, you've mentioned thatyou haven't, yeah, always gotten
that support from people in yourlife before, like you've had
teachers or different peoplethat have supported you that
have said, Oh, well that dream'snot realistic.
You can't do that.
Yeah.
And when people say that kind ofstuff to you, what's your
response?
(26:38):
What do you say?
Dan Hood (26:40):
Oh, uh, my response is, I can pretty much do
anything.
I just need you to give me achance.
And also what is important is togive yourself a chance.
Allycia Wolff (26:51):
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Dan Hood (26:53):
Well, if you second guess yourself, that's not good
either.
And so you always have to havepeople on your side that will
also give you feedback and toencourage you.
That's the most important thing.
Allycia Wolff (27:07):
Yeah.
So surround yourself with peoplethat encourage you and then also
believe in yourself.
Dan Hood (27:12):
Don't listen to the naysayers.
Allycia Wolff (27:16):
Yeah.
[laughs] Yeah.
Cause there'll always be peoplethat tell you that you can't,
right?
Dan Hood (27:19):
Yeah!
Allycia Wolff (27:19):
And when you think about your future and
stuff that you want to happen inyour life, what are some of your
goals and hopes for your future?
Dan Hood (27:36):
Well, my hopes is to basically have a family.
Children that's, you know,that's my heart's desire.
If I can't have a kid well mywife and I will have, you know,
dogs and lizards.
I mean anything that has fourlegs that...
Unfortunately can't be cats, butI'll be able to do other
(27:57):
everything else.
Allycia Wolff (27:58):
Are you allergic to cats?
Dan Hood (27:59):
No, my wife is.
Allycia Wolff (28:00):
Ah, so no cats.
Dan Hood (28:02):
No cats!
Allycia Wolff (28:02):
So dogs and lizards.
[laughs] So that's what you wantfor your future is a family, and
a community, and a place thatyou feel like you belong.
Dan Hood (28:14):
Yeah.
I believe everybody should bewelcome to or in a community.
That's the biggest, you know,that's my passion is that
everybody to be included.
Allycia Wolff (28:28):
Same.
Yeah.
And that's what you talk a lotabout on your podcast, right?
Dan Hood (28:32):
Yes.
Allycia Wolff (28:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so today, the audience ofthe people that are listening to
this podcast, Focus on theFuture, is mostly parents and
caregivers that are supportingpeople with disabilities.
Is there anything that you wantto share with parents?
Dan Hood (28:53):
Yeah.
To encourage your children.
Help them.
You know, just educate them.
I mean, everybody learnsdifferently.
I learn differently.
So does everyone else.
Yeah, just be patient.
Love them.
That's all of the basic...
That's the best thing you coulddo is just love them and be
(29:14):
patient.
Allycia Wolff (29:15):
Love and be patient.
Have faith.
Dan Hood (29:17):
And have faith.
Allycia Wolff (29:17):
Yeah.
That's great.
And you are very involved inself advocacy.
What does self-advocacy mean toyou?
Dan Hood (29:30):
To have a voice, to speak up for yourself and
speaking for the people thatcannot speak for themselves.
To be an advocate, basically.
That's it.
Advocating for oneself or forothers.
Allycia Wolff (29:44):
Yeah.
Using your voice.
Dan Hood (29:46):
Using your voice.
Allycia Wolff (29:47):
And why is that important?
Dan Hood (29:51):
To build self-confidence.
Allycia Wolff (29:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think that, too, it'simportant that people with
disabilities are goodself-advocates because too often
there's a lot of people thatwill tell people with
disabilities that no, you can'tdo stuff.
And so to be a goodself-advocate means that you're
(30:13):
going to speak up for yourselfand know what your worth is and
know what you want out of life.
Dan Hood (30:21):
Yup.
That's correct.
Yeah.
Allycia Wolff (30:22):
Yeah.
Great.
Is there anything else that youwant to share on this podcast or
want to share in general?
Dan Hood (30:29):
Not really.
I think everything's gonna begood.
Allycia Wolff (30:35):
Perfect.
Thanks for coming in, Dan.
Dan Hood (30:37):
[laughs] Not a problem.
Allycia Wolff (30:41):
Many, many thanks to Dan for coming in and
chatting with me and sharing hisexperience about what it means
to live a happy and a good lifefor him.
I really appreciated sittingdown and chatting with Dan today
and I'm glad that you guys wereall able to hear it as well.
That mostly wraps up our episodefor today.
I think that there are manydifferent aspects of what makes
(31:03):
a good life.
And a few takeaways from this isthat it's different for
everybody, but the commonthreads are consistent with
relationships and security andhaving choice.
And earlier in the episode Torihad mentioned that there's many,
many great Ted Talks on thissubject specifically.
(31:24):
And a few that I wanted to pointout are...
I just went to Google and IGoogled Ted Talks A Good Life.
And the first episode that cameup was one from 2015 and this is
a Ted Talk that I personallyhave probably watched five or
six times.
So that's a really greatlongitudinal study on what it
(31:44):
means to live a good, happylife.
And this is consistent withdisability or without
disability.
And then a few other ones tonote are a Ted Talk done by
Stella Young, and then a TedTalk that also is called Our
Fight for Disability Rights.
And then another one is ThreeThings I Learned From My
(32:06):
Intellectually Disabled Son.
Also, Elise Roy does a greatone.
So basically if you just look upTed Talks, there's a lot of
really great content, um, and amillion really wonderful
podcasts about how to live agood life.
So I will let you explore thaton your own and I will see you
next time.
Thank you so very much.
(32:27):
Have a great day.
Music (32:32):
[ music playing]
Allycia Wolff (32:32):
If this episode inspired any questions for an
advocate at The Arc Minnesota,please give us a call.
You can reach us at(833)450-1494.
Focus on the Future is a podcastof The Arc Minnesota.
Subscribe to the podcast on yourfavorite streaming service to
stay up to date with the newestepisodes.
(32:53):
If you're enjoying listening,please support the podcast and
our mission by donating atarcminnesota.
org/podcast.
On the next episode of Focus onthe Future, we're going to be
talking about financialplanning.
A topic that most everybodydreads talking about.
I'm going to be interviewing afinancial planner here locally
(33:16):
in Minneapolis, Minnesota whohas a child with a disability.
And he's going to talk to usabout how financial planning
doesn't need to be somethingthat causes you misery.
He compares it to going to thedentist.
If you don't go to the dentistvery often and you go once every
decade, that visit isn't goingto be very positive, but if you
(33:38):
go once every six months, itdoesn't end up being that bad.
So we'll talk about financialplanning in our next episode.
Please join us.
Our podcast music is composedand recorded by Micah Kadwell.
Micah is a talented guitaristfrom New Brighton, Minnesota who
also has autism.
(33:58):
Thank you, Micah! I'd also liketo say a special thanks to Chloe
Ahlf, who is the producer ofFocus on the Future, and the
sound engineer, Brent Nelson.
Thank you so much, Chloe andBrent! We are all equal parts of
this podcast.
Thanks for joining us today andwe'll see you next time.
(34:18):
Have a great one.
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