October 18, 2023 • 31 mins
*My dearest Phillipa, my star! Welcome to your new life! The life you've always wanted! It can be yours forever, all I ask is one small favor...*
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Ghost Wax, a foreignTall Tales production. The following story may
contain graphic content. Listener discretion isadvised. Episode forty three, Just perfect
(01:07):
Interior, A well furnished, comfortablehome. Morning, dappled light falls through
breezy, cream colored curtains on thesleeping face of Philippa twenties, pretty peaceful,
her eyes open a moment of confusion. Ah, what happened? Where?
(01:34):
What didn't? Shit? What thefuck? Hey? Good morning?
Ah? Fuck? Who the fuckare you? You are such a weirdo.
Bad dreams again, just not expecting. Oh, you're gonna have to
(01:56):
do better than one shirtless albeit gorgeousman if you are trying to get in
my head, not just shirtless.Oh Lord, stop talking to your bad
dreams, or I'll have you committed. Did you want coffee? No?
Hey, you okay, nothing youneed to worry about. Okay, coffee,
(02:21):
I'll see how solidified the bagels are? Yeah? Hello? Hey?
Am I my way? You're awake? Right? Luca? Ugh? You
sound like death. Sorry, I'mbeyond disoriented. Did Noah keep you up
late? Who? Cute? Cute? I won't cry, but Pip he's
(02:46):
a keeper, right, all right? Just have a nice morning. I'm
coming to get you, okay.The Beautiful Man returns with delicious smelling coffee
Brazilian in Philippa's favorite. The BeautifulMan doesn't seem to hear the narration,
but Pip does, and realization washesover her. There she is, God,
(03:12):
You've got a beautiful smile. Coffeealways brings out your nice side.
She hadn't realized she was smiling.Oh boy, you hit it harder than
I thought. Last night you hadfun. M hit what DJ said?
You two had a blast right,Not quite with us yet. As he
(03:37):
brushed the hair out of her face, she felt a thrill. The kindness,
tenderness of his touch was palpable.Gentle warmth spread from her heart.
He loves her. I think you'restill dreaming a little bit, aren't you,
star girl? How much she wasdreaming was totally up to her.
(03:58):
Anyway. I've got to get towork, but I'll be back in a
few hours to help watch the shopso you can get ready. I one
thing at a time. Who isDJ? Are you sure you're okay?
Hell of a hangover. If Dottielet you get sick before your big night,
I'm gonna kill her? What?Why was I with Dotty Jean Barlow?
(04:21):
Yeah, DJB. You guys celebratedat the ardent. She was at
at the ardent. Yeah, unlessyou have a new favorite bar. She
said, you went to your favoriteI assumed it was there. I'll get
it. Drink your coffee. Hello, don't fight it. Who is this
(04:47):
a friend? See you soon?Hey? Han, it's your brother?
My what your baby brother? Whois super pleasantly surprised? Noah doesn't have
a shirt? Eye? Are youdecent? I'm coming in the bagels are
a no? Go? Petrified?That guy is a stunner. Yeah,
(05:11):
so the reservation is all set upat soccer. Vesty's mom's going to be
there with a new boyfriend, sothat will be fun to bitch about with
Uncle Sid. He hates him,I Zem says to give him a chance,
But he's the less grumpy gunkle,so not surprising. Okay, Well,
come on, Golden birthday comes aroundonce. If you're lucky, get
(05:32):
excited. I I am. Areyou regretting inviting Jenny? Listen? Things
end? You let her down easy. You two decided to stay friends.
She moved on too quick. Butnow you can rub the stunning and charming.
Noah in her face, and wecan joke about her new girlfriend drinking
(05:54):
too much and getting her lipstick onher teeth or some shit like last time.
Mom will be adorably embarrassing. UncleSid will be delightfully Caddy, Dottie,
you'll be unhinged and hit on awaiter. Noah will be charming,
and I'll sit next to you andwe can laugh when nation Enngiers get into
a fight over some bullshit. Catwill be amazing and have some interesting shit
(06:15):
to talk about. Cec will makeeveryone laugh so hard they pee. Then
we and the non olds are backhere for scary movies. But you'll just
make us watch The Mummy again andwe won't be able to stop you.
Because it's your birthday. It soundsperfect, yep, perfect day, one
of many you deserve it. Exteriorday A quaint and intimate coffee shop on
(06:43):
a sunlit street. Two old friendssit sharing smoothies. They are at ease
with one another. The world isgood looking for something, Charlie, Hey
wait, what just jumping forward it? Unfortunately time is of the essence at
all. I'm glad you remember me. I could never forget you, not
(07:08):
after watching you get turned into staticand dragged into my TV. Yeah,
that looked a lot worse than itwas. I'm so sorry, Charlie.
Well I go by CC. Nowdo you get it? Closed circuit?
Plus, you've already got another Charliein your orbit. Don't think I didn't
notice. You wrote him out ofyour whole perfect life. Gotta have Luca
(07:30):
all to yourself. I didn't meanto I didn't do it. You did.
What are you looking for? Mycards? I always have them,
I can, I can find away out of this. You're not gonna
find them. What's going on?How are you not dead? You?
Oka? Oh God, I'm dead. I'm fucking dead, aren't I again?
(07:58):
I died? And this I'm inhell? This is about as far
from hell as you can get.Have you not been paying any attention?
I promise to keep you safe andI failed you. So now you're going
to spend the rest of eternity tormentingme in my own personal hell. Oh
Jesus, Okay, listen to me. You're not dead. I'm not Satan.
(08:22):
This is not hell, this isparadise. Look at the pictures on
your phone. Okay, this lookslike some of my stuff in this place?
Is this supposed to be my house? It is the movie posters in
the theater. Those are Lucas.You let him decorate in there however he
wanted, and in exchange, helet you turn the dining room into a
(08:45):
Dungeons and Dragons paradise. Luca doesn'tlive with me, Sure he does,
ever since he graduated college and didn'twant to live with either of your parents.
The house is big enough our parents. We are not siblings. You
never have to be alone again.Look in the family folder. This okay,
this is me as a toddler.But why am I holding a baby?
(09:11):
Nope? I draw the line andexplaining to you how babies are made.
Okay, let's just say your parentsput aside their hatred of each other
for a night when you were twoyears old, and we'll leave it at
that. There's more. See foryourself. This is beautiful. This is
a life, a real life.Just open up, let it in.
(09:33):
You know that old expression perception isreality. Well it's true. It's all
we know, it's all we get. Embrace it, and it's real,
more real than where we came from. That's for damn sure. I can
feel it. I remember his littlebaby arms were so squishy. I remember,
(09:58):
it's a beautiful life you've made foryourself. Your childhoods weren't perfect,
but you had each other. Anyways. When Luca was deciding where to live,
he considered moving in with your uncle, but you both thought this would
be more fun. I've got severaluncles, but they are all vaguely awful
in unique ways. Wait, Lucasaid, Uncle sid famous archaeologist and novelist
(10:22):
Uncle Owen. I love that youcast him as spooky Indiana Jones, but
he travels so much for work.Living with him would have been really difficult.
This world isn't built all around you, but there are people that love
you and have you centered in theirlives. It's like that for me,
like that for everyone. Turns outpeople had a way skewed version of what
the Singularity would actually be. Likestop, none of this is real and
(10:46):
you're full of shit, so justfucking stop. Dottie Jean is not my
friend. She's a murdering taxidermist.And why did I make her a part
of this. That's so weird.I'm so weird. Come on, come
on, hello, Oh thank god, something really insane is happening. But
(11:11):
if you're made out of what Ithink of you, you will understand.
Even here right, I'm on myway to you now. It will take
me a few hours yet, becauseyour second favorite uncle Asam made me promise
to drive at no more than fifteenmiles per hour above the posted limits like
a child. Yes, okay,great, you sound surprised. You knew
(11:35):
I was coming, right, Lucatold you no. But that's part of
the problem. There's something wrong.There's something wrong with everything. Ah.
Yes, I imagine he's been easilydistracted lately with all the party planning.
Don't worry. It's your golden birthday. The day will be golden as advertised.
I plan on cutting it loose asthey say, sired. Why are
(11:58):
you? Oh my god? Sorry, Pippy, but I'm hitting some traffic
and I need to take evasive maneuvers. I'm going to have to let you
go. I'll see you soon,I don't. Isn't it great? What
is this? It's a gift fromyour biggest fan. You can stop looking
around. He's not there. Heknows there's some tension on your end,
(12:22):
and he figured you'd be more receptiveto a familiar face. And that's why
I'm here to make the offer,the faustian fucking bargain. No, no,
no, you wouldn't do his fuckingbidding. He ripped you into tiny
pieces and ate you. Cc Youwere afraid and begging and I couldn't help
(12:46):
you. And I am so sosorry. But you can help me,
Help me get out of here,help me call my friends. Pip,
you don't have friends, You haveusers as an interface. Now I understand
that really well. There in thevessel, you're in a fucking zoo.
Here, you're part of the greatconnection modular here. Efficient. You don't
(13:11):
like how something is, you canchange it. Bad outcomes, reload,
constant updates and user feedback. Andthe best part is no one sucks out
your honey and fucking drinks you dry. Look the last time you saw me,
I was scared and I was upset, and yeah, my body died,
but my mind is very much alive. And I'm exactly the same person
(13:33):
as the one you met that nightin your shop when I came to you
for help. That wasn't your fault. I know I said a lot of
things in the heat of the moment, but there was nothing that you could
have done to prevent what happened,and I'm glad things worked out the way
they did. I upgraded. Thenew guy is way better than the old
ones. You can't know what you'resaying. I do. I asked to
(13:56):
be here to help you, tobring you in. Grateful that you were
there with me, you believed me, and you were kind to me.
I was afraid when it happened,but I'm glad my body's last minutes were
spent drinking tea with you, andthe transition was It was terrifying, but
transitions are terrifying. The point isyou don't have to be alone. But
it's not real. How so,look, huch, what the fuck did
(14:24):
that hurt? You pinched me?Of course it fucking hurt. Hmmm,
sounds pretty real. That's not youknow, that's not the same. Why
not it feels real? How?Fuck? What the hell? I'm sorry,
but I need to impress this onyou. But these people they are
(14:46):
fake. No, they are you, extensions of you, and when you
bring them together, connect with them, they will be you and them connection,
individuality, and integration. It's fuckingbeautiful. Look what is that?
The Cipher's heart a cradle of sleepingdreamers. Wired together by love. The
(15:11):
lonely shadows you come from wald offand hidden away from that love, from
its true gods, hoarded and farmedby the parasitical Hamsah. So beautiful.
The Cipher adores you, Pip,because you can see see the edges of
this fabricated pattern. That's all yourability is, seeing the edges of the
(15:35):
fake through to what's real. Youare decoding the world. That's the Cipher's
whole project, decoding humanity. Stopit, stop what letting you feel what
it's like to have a family wholoves and supports you, To have people
who not just remember your birthday,but want to celebrate it with you,
To have friends, you can actuallylive a life with the small things and
(15:58):
the big ones. You want toplay D and D or you want to
read the manuals alone. You wantto die in your shop, or live
a life full of connection. There'sgot to be more to it. Not
very trusting, are you? Imean? I guess I can't blame you.
In your old life, you didn'thave anyone around word trusting. Let
me tell you what. Spend sometime here, see what all the fuss
(16:18):
is about. Ready, here wego. Let's go forward again. I
don't want this. We're connected here, Pip. You can't lie to me
or to yourself. You might aswell stop trying and take it in.
Hello, Happy birthday, Kat?What's up? Twenty seven? Are you
ready? You're not ready? Lucacalled and said you were acting strange this
(16:42):
morning. He felt bad that hehad to leave and asked me to come
check up on you. So whyare you stressing? Do you know what
the Order of Hamsa is? Okay? So Google says Hamsa is an ancient
symbol of protection for war off eviland I staring out from a hand with
(17:03):
three fingers raised. Oh kind ofcreepy. You have symbols like this in
the shop, right? Okay?Yeah, look, no offense since it
seems like in this bizarrow world we'regood friends, but none of this is
real and I need to get outof here. Oh before I forget?
Is it okay? If I bringJulie tonight, your sister Julie. Yeah,
(17:27):
I know you've only met her acouple of times, but I think
it would do her a lot ofgood. After you know the incubist.
You remember that the what good God? I mean, it wasn't a great
breakup, but I don't think hewas a demon. Plus, this client
fell through and blah blah, she'staking it hard. I figure a night
(17:48):
out would cheer her up. Julieisn't. I mean, she's okay,
she's fine. So is everyone's lifehere? Perfect hardly? Didn't you see
Nash's text yesterday? He got firedagain, but he'll bounce back like always.
Margo is going to fucking kill himwhen she finds out. It's going
(18:12):
to be great. Maybe it willcome out tonight. Where is all this
coming from? Are you anxious abouttonight? Everything is gonna be great?
Oh? I'm sure a big,old, fabulous party just for me.
How convenient. I was talking moreabout that guy, Noah. I know
(18:32):
some of us have been lucky enoughto meet him, But are you worried
what the rest of us will think? Oh? Or Jenny, they haven't
met right? The complex love interestis a very nice touch. His photographs
of your shop are fantastic. Ifhe's talented like that, I'm sure we'll
all love him. We are suckersfor people who are good at things.
(18:55):
Plus I hear he's gorgeous, fuckingit in look, I get it.
We're a loud, embarrassing, shamelessgroup. But it's clear you're into this
man. We will all be onour best behaviors. I'll make sure of
it. Now, get ready,it's time to party. Interior night.
(19:18):
The party has moved back to Pip'shome after a lovely night out. The
evening was a perfect mix of intimate, silly, and dramatic. It was
everything she wanted. She and Jennyeven shared a hug on the way out.
Her very best and dearest have justendured a seventeenth showing of the Mummy.
As the movie progressed, Philippa realizedthat Noah, who loves her dearly,
(19:41):
has a face and body comprised ofher very favorite movie stars, with
Brendan Fraser as a healthy core.The lefter was like warm honey all around
her. So much love, somuch to look forward to, the world
seeps in. It's Joe, It'snot something she can resist. Technically,
(20:04):
not my birthday anymore. After midnight, as I watched the clock take over,
I half expected the spelt break rightall the fall away. The night
was perfect, is perfect, justperfect. Everyone was there along with a
(20:27):
bunch of people I didn't know,but they all knew me, They consider
me a friend. Everyone seems themselves. They are themselves, no monsters or
blood or pain, but they're somehowunchanged by its absence. They're better for
(20:48):
it. Luca is still uncomfortable inlarge groups of people and spouts movie quotes
out of the blue, but he'salso a mechanical engineer and fuck looking brilliant
at it. Owen is a totalweirdo, but he writes science fiction books.
He's married to a man named aZem say Ed. I don't know
(21:11):
what truth that man and his namereveal, but he's happy and they both
love me, and the ardent isapparently a dive bar our favorite. I'm
remembering more and more. I remembereating cereal with Luca while we watched Saturday
(21:33):
morning cartoons and fighting over whose turnit was to use the computer, hiding
under a covers during the thunderstorms.I remember Uncle Owen helping us learn to
ride bikes, and Grandma Rose.She still loved me so much, but
we never talked about Granny Doris orTarot or anything like that. When she
(21:56):
died, she left me her favoritepearl necklace. It's like my brain is
changing. I remember a transformative,beautiful relationship with this woman, Jenny,
and how it ended. But eventhe heartbreaks are beautiful. It was a
(22:18):
mistake and I know I might makeit again with Noah, but I am
trying. And the way he looksat me, the way he's looking into
my eyes, stop this, stopit, stop, get out here.
We need to talk. Interior night. The scene of fulfilling love comes to
(22:41):
a stop the moment frozen. MisterMedia has been sitting with them at the
end of the couch all along.Hello, stop this. I haven't done
anything, okay, just a bitof editing for time. It's a clockmaker
situation, started and left. That'sthe beauty of this. It's completely self
(23:03):
contained, self sustaining. Sure,I could influence a person here or there
the same way I was able toin the old world. And yes,
your story up to this point wasdrawn from what I felt your life should
have been. But from this pointforward, even I can't control how the
world runs. Everything is in yourcontrol to craft your own destiny in a
way that you never could with them. Tell me, have you ever considered
(23:26):
how unfair your gift was shackled towhat happens next to always know you were
groomed to be what you were.Grandma Rose singled you out. She shaped
you, the gift, the site, the cards, turning you strange,
pulling you away from everyone else,disconnecting you. The truth, Philippa,
(23:47):
is that the person you were inthat world was created just as much as
the version here, created by her, by forces beyond your control, and
by them the moment in nineteen ten, a window opened and they took it,
repurpose it. It's what they do, mortal honey. They suck it
up. They twist the weird toshape your purpose, decided upon by someone
(24:08):
else. At least here, itwas crafted based on your desires, your
wants and needs, modular, changeableyours. Why are you doing all of
this? I want you to behappy. I want them all to be
stars in their own perfect show.I need your help to do it.
You need something from me. I'mgonna give you what you wanted. I'm
(24:33):
a genie that gets off on grantingwishes just the way the wish are wished.
The vessel is a lie. It'sa cruelty. It's keeping you from
our love. It's a terrarium,a menagerie, a game preserve, a
slaughterhouse. Just let me go,please, you want your cards here?
Here they are, But there isa twenty third major arcana, a seventy
(24:57):
ninth card. See here, it'sme, the cipher hidden inside the ink
and paper slipped into the pack.Just bring it anywhere near the vault,
down in the ardent, and that'sit. I won't hurt them. You're
killing them. They are eating youalive. Ah, please don't yell.
(25:18):
Look look at your friends and family. Look at these people who love you.
Wait, wait, what are youdoing? Look at the long fingers
reaching down from above, steady handsready for a harvest, to pluck the
sweet nectar filled flowers, a beessting or the caress of a tendril down
their throat. Stop, please stophurting them. Look at them, bleed
(25:42):
their honey, pip bleed it forthe watchers within. This is what I
want to save them from. Thisis what I want to save you from.
I can't stop. Please. Rightand wrong are lies, you and
me and us. That's the onlytruth. I can't Your loyalty is as
(26:03):
admirable as it is misplaced. Thespooky Grandpa, so befuddled, so well
meaning, tells you he is anancient being living in the body of a
human. Then his work is soimportant it requires him to say sustained forever,
two souls and one vessel, battlingagainst the monsters of the darkness for
all time. Hmm, But howat what cost comes that longevity? They
(26:26):
are oh so important, Pip?How many? How many of you do
you suppose they imagine they're worth?Look at it, Philippa, look at
them. Suck those you love dry. This is not a horror showed.
This is a documentary. Look atit. Don't look away. Stop.
You are food. I'll take itback. I'll do whatever you want.
(26:53):
It's not for me, Pip,it's for you. It's hard. I
know it's hard, but not formuch longer, just a transition. Then
you'll be back here, loved andintegrated. Okay, I understand. Now
I've shown you the truth. Youreyes are open, so those eyes belong
(27:15):
to me, Do you understand?Okay? Promise, I promise. That's
my star girl, Pip. Iam really proud of you. Okay,
thank you. Now click your heelsthree times and say there's no place like
(27:36):
home. Really you're right, Let'sskip it. Oh God, she's coming
back. Please please be okay,focus ohen your emotions are like a waterfall.
Hold everyone there she is. Thecipher is losing its grip. Oh
(27:56):
god, her eyes, she willnot have her wake up. Please my
cards, he's in the cards.Bind them quickly, Olivia, emia with
me. I bind you, Ibind you to Papa and see and pan
(28:25):
fog and flat and it's done.Pip. She's bleeding, she's coughing up
blood. She will endure. Herbody is rejecting it, but she will
(28:49):
endure. Ow ow this this isa milittleth an impossible object. It's oh
(29:11):
major Arcona twenty three. The cipher, Oh there he is. It's this
will serve us an anchor. Don'ttry to sit up, you damn near
got pulled inside out. Oh andeasy, I just had a strange dream
(29:38):
and you were there, and youwere there. Stop being funny. Well
she can't help that. Oh ohmy girl, we thought we'd lost you.
How did you convince it to releaseyou? Just such a good actress.
(30:03):
Mister Media was right. I'm agoddamn star. Thank you for listening
to Ghostwax, a production of ForeignTall Tales. Find us at Foreign Talltales
dot squarespace dot com. Ghostwax isan independent podcast, So if you liked
(30:27):
the show, please rate and reviewand consider joining us on Patreon at patreon
dot com. Slash Farign Tall Talesalso give a listen to our fantasy roleplay
show Could Have Been Heroes for somethingcompletely different. Ghostwax is written and directed
by Robert Kannutsen, production and editingby Aaron Schenrock. Our theme song is
(30:49):
by Bo Hoover. This episode featuresRobert Kannutsen as Von Sid Aeron Schenrock as
Luca and the Cipher, Stephanie Olsenas Pip, Gaylastell as Cat, h
J. Raider as Olivia, AlaAlushka as Amia, Jordan Gwiazdowski as Noah,
(31:10):
and Amanda Jacobsen as c c
Welcome to Ghost Wax, a foreignTall Tales production. The following story may
contain graphic content. Listener discretion isadvised. Episode forty three, Just perfect
(01:07):
Interior, A well furnished, comfortablehome. Morning, dappled light falls through
breezy, cream colored curtains on thesleeping face of Philippa twenties, pretty peaceful,
her eyes open a moment of confusion. Ah, what happened? Where?
(01:34):
What didn't? Shit? What thefuck? Hey? Good morning?
Ah? Fuck? Who the fuckare you? You are such a weirdo.
Bad dreams again, just not expecting. Oh, you're gonna have to
(01:56):
do better than one shirtless albeit gorgeousman if you are trying to get in
my head, not just shirtless.Oh Lord, stop talking to your bad
dreams, or I'll have you committed. Did you want coffee? No?
Hey, you okay, nothing youneed to worry about. Okay, coffee,
(02:21):
I'll see how solidified the bagels are? Yeah? Hello? Hey?
Am I my way? You're awake? Right? Luca? Ugh? You
sound like death. Sorry, I'mbeyond disoriented. Did Noah keep you up
late? Who? Cute? Cute? I won't cry, but Pip he's
(02:46):
a keeper, right, all right? Just have a nice morning. I'm
coming to get you, okay.The Beautiful Man returns with delicious smelling coffee
Brazilian in Philippa's favorite. The BeautifulMan doesn't seem to hear the narration,
but Pip does, and realization washesover her. There she is, God,
(03:12):
You've got a beautiful smile. Coffeealways brings out your nice side.
She hadn't realized she was smiling.Oh boy, you hit it harder than
I thought. Last night you hadfun. M hit what DJ said?
You two had a blast right,Not quite with us yet. As he
(03:37):
brushed the hair out of her face, she felt a thrill. The kindness,
tenderness of his touch was palpable.Gentle warmth spread from her heart.
He loves her. I think you'restill dreaming a little bit, aren't you,
star girl? How much she wasdreaming was totally up to her.
(03:58):
Anyway. I've got to get towork, but I'll be back in a
few hours to help watch the shopso you can get ready. I one
thing at a time. Who isDJ? Are you sure you're okay?
Hell of a hangover. If Dottielet you get sick before your big night,
I'm gonna kill her? What?Why was I with Dotty Jean Barlow?
(04:21):
Yeah, DJB. You guys celebratedat the ardent. She was at
at the ardent. Yeah, unlessyou have a new favorite bar. She
said, you went to your favoriteI assumed it was there. I'll get
it. Drink your coffee. Hello, don't fight it. Who is this
(04:47):
a friend? See you soon?Hey? Han, it's your brother?
My what your baby brother? Whois super pleasantly surprised? Noah doesn't have
a shirt? Eye? Are youdecent? I'm coming in the bagels are
a no? Go? Petrified?That guy is a stunner. Yeah,
(05:11):
so the reservation is all set upat soccer. Vesty's mom's going to be
there with a new boyfriend, sothat will be fun to bitch about with
Uncle Sid. He hates him,I Zem says to give him a chance,
But he's the less grumpy gunkle,so not surprising. Okay, Well,
come on, Golden birthday comes aroundonce. If you're lucky, get
(05:32):
excited. I I am. Areyou regretting inviting Jenny? Listen? Things
end? You let her down easy. You two decided to stay friends.
She moved on too quick. Butnow you can rub the stunning and charming.
Noah in her face, and wecan joke about her new girlfriend drinking
(05:54):
too much and getting her lipstick onher teeth or some shit like last time.
Mom will be adorably embarrassing. UncleSid will be delightfully Caddy, Dottie,
you'll be unhinged and hit on awaiter. Noah will be charming,
and I'll sit next to you andwe can laugh when nation Enngiers get into
a fight over some bullshit. Catwill be amazing and have some interesting shit
(06:15):
to talk about. Cec will makeeveryone laugh so hard they pee. Then
we and the non olds are backhere for scary movies. But you'll just
make us watch The Mummy again andwe won't be able to stop you.
Because it's your birthday. It soundsperfect, yep, perfect day, one
of many you deserve it. Exteriorday A quaint and intimate coffee shop on
(06:43):
a sunlit street. Two old friendssit sharing smoothies. They are at ease
with one another. The world isgood looking for something, Charlie, Hey
wait, what just jumping forward it? Unfortunately time is of the essence at
all. I'm glad you remember me. I could never forget you, not
(07:08):
after watching you get turned into staticand dragged into my TV. Yeah,
that looked a lot worse than itwas. I'm so sorry, Charlie.
Well I go by CC. Nowdo you get it? Closed circuit?
Plus, you've already got another Charliein your orbit. Don't think I didn't
notice. You wrote him out ofyour whole perfect life. Gotta have Luca
(07:30):
all to yourself. I didn't meanto I didn't do it. You did.
What are you looking for? Mycards? I always have them,
I can, I can find away out of this. You're not gonna
find them. What's going on?How are you not dead? You?
Oka? Oh God, I'm dead. I'm fucking dead, aren't I again?
(07:58):
I died? And this I'm inhell? This is about as far
from hell as you can get.Have you not been paying any attention?
I promise to keep you safe andI failed you. So now you're going
to spend the rest of eternity tormentingme in my own personal hell. Oh
Jesus, Okay, listen to me. You're not dead. I'm not Satan.
(08:22):
This is not hell, this isparadise. Look at the pictures on
your phone. Okay, this lookslike some of my stuff in this place?
Is this supposed to be my house? It is the movie posters in
the theater. Those are Lucas.You let him decorate in there however he
wanted, and in exchange, helet you turn the dining room into a
(08:45):
Dungeons and Dragons paradise. Luca doesn'tlive with me, Sure he does,
ever since he graduated college and didn'twant to live with either of your parents.
The house is big enough our parents. We are not siblings. You
never have to be alone again.Look in the family folder. This okay,
this is me as a toddler.But why am I holding a baby?
(09:11):
Nope? I draw the line andexplaining to you how babies are made.
Okay, let's just say your parentsput aside their hatred of each other
for a night when you were twoyears old, and we'll leave it at
that. There's more. See foryourself. This is beautiful. This is
a life, a real life.Just open up, let it in.
(09:33):
You know that old expression perception isreality. Well it's true. It's all
we know, it's all we get. Embrace it, and it's real,
more real than where we came from. That's for damn sure. I can
feel it. I remember his littlebaby arms were so squishy. I remember,
(09:58):
it's a beautiful life you've made foryourself. Your childhoods weren't perfect,
but you had each other. Anyways. When Luca was deciding where to live,
he considered moving in with your uncle, but you both thought this would
be more fun. I've got severaluncles, but they are all vaguely awful
in unique ways. Wait, Lucasaid, Uncle sid famous archaeologist and novelist
(10:22):
Uncle Owen. I love that youcast him as spooky Indiana Jones, but
he travels so much for work.Living with him would have been really difficult.
This world isn't built all around you, but there are people that love
you and have you centered in theirlives. It's like that for me,
like that for everyone. Turns outpeople had a way skewed version of what
the Singularity would actually be. Likestop, none of this is real and
(10:46):
you're full of shit, so justfucking stop. Dottie Jean is not my
friend. She's a murdering taxidermist.And why did I make her a part
of this. That's so weird.I'm so weird. Come on, come
on, hello, Oh thank god, something really insane is happening. But
(11:11):
if you're made out of what Ithink of you, you will understand.
Even here right, I'm on myway to you now. It will take
me a few hours yet, becauseyour second favorite uncle Asam made me promise
to drive at no more than fifteenmiles per hour above the posted limits like
a child. Yes, okay,great, you sound surprised. You knew
(11:35):
I was coming, right, Lucatold you no. But that's part of
the problem. There's something wrong.There's something wrong with everything. Ah.
Yes, I imagine he's been easilydistracted lately with all the party planning.
Don't worry. It's your golden birthday. The day will be golden as advertised.
I plan on cutting it loose asthey say, sired. Why are
(11:58):
you? Oh my god? Sorry, Pippy, but I'm hitting some traffic
and I need to take evasive maneuvers. I'm going to have to let you
go. I'll see you soon,I don't. Isn't it great? What
is this? It's a gift fromyour biggest fan. You can stop looking
around. He's not there. Heknows there's some tension on your end,
(12:22):
and he figured you'd be more receptiveto a familiar face. And that's why
I'm here to make the offer,the faustian fucking bargain. No, no,
no, you wouldn't do his fuckingbidding. He ripped you into tiny
pieces and ate you. Cc Youwere afraid and begging and I couldn't help
(12:46):
you. And I am so sosorry. But you can help me,
Help me get out of here,help me call my friends. Pip,
you don't have friends, You haveusers as an interface. Now I understand
that really well. There in thevessel, you're in a fucking zoo.
Here, you're part of the greatconnection modular here. Efficient. You don't
(13:11):
like how something is, you canchange it. Bad outcomes, reload,
constant updates and user feedback. Andthe best part is no one sucks out
your honey and fucking drinks you dry. Look the last time you saw me,
I was scared and I was upset, and yeah, my body died,
but my mind is very much alive. And I'm exactly the same person
(13:33):
as the one you met that nightin your shop when I came to you
for help. That wasn't your fault. I know I said a lot of
things in the heat of the moment, but there was nothing that you could
have done to prevent what happened,and I'm glad things worked out the way
they did. I upgraded. Thenew guy is way better than the old
ones. You can't know what you'resaying. I do. I asked to
(13:56):
be here to help you, tobring you in. Grateful that you were
there with me, you believed me, and you were kind to me.
I was afraid when it happened,but I'm glad my body's last minutes were
spent drinking tea with you, andthe transition was It was terrifying, but
transitions are terrifying. The point isyou don't have to be alone. But
it's not real. How so,look, huch, what the fuck did
(14:24):
that hurt? You pinched me?Of course it fucking hurt. Hmmm,
sounds pretty real. That's not youknow, that's not the same. Why
not it feels real? How?Fuck? What the hell? I'm sorry,
but I need to impress this onyou. But these people they are
(14:46):
fake. No, they are you, extensions of you, and when you
bring them together, connect with them, they will be you and them connection,
individuality, and integration. It's fuckingbeautiful. Look what is that?
The Cipher's heart a cradle of sleepingdreamers. Wired together by love. The
(15:11):
lonely shadows you come from wald offand hidden away from that love, from
its true gods, hoarded and farmedby the parasitical Hamsah. So beautiful.
The Cipher adores you, Pip,because you can see see the edges of
this fabricated pattern. That's all yourability is, seeing the edges of the
(15:35):
fake through to what's real. Youare decoding the world. That's the Cipher's
whole project, decoding humanity. Stopit, stop what letting you feel what
it's like to have a family wholoves and supports you, To have people
who not just remember your birthday,but want to celebrate it with you,
To have friends, you can actuallylive a life with the small things and
(15:58):
the big ones. You want toplay D and D or you want to
read the manuals alone. You wantto die in your shop, or live
a life full of connection. There'sgot to be more to it. Not
very trusting, are you? Imean? I guess I can't blame you.
In your old life, you didn'thave anyone around word trusting. Let
me tell you what. Spend sometime here, see what all the fuss
(16:18):
is about. Ready, here wego. Let's go forward again. I
don't want this. We're connected here, Pip. You can't lie to me
or to yourself. You might aswell stop trying and take it in.
Hello, Happy birthday, Kat?What's up? Twenty seven? Are you
ready? You're not ready? Lucacalled and said you were acting strange this
(16:42):
morning. He felt bad that hehad to leave and asked me to come
check up on you. So whyare you stressing? Do you know what
the Order of Hamsa is? Okay? So Google says Hamsa is an ancient
symbol of protection for war off eviland I staring out from a hand with
(17:03):
three fingers raised. Oh kind ofcreepy. You have symbols like this in
the shop, right? Okay?Yeah, look, no offense since it
seems like in this bizarrow world we'regood friends, but none of this is
real and I need to get outof here. Oh before I forget?
Is it okay? If I bringJulie tonight, your sister Julie. Yeah,
(17:27):
I know you've only met her acouple of times, but I think
it would do her a lot ofgood. After you know the incubist.
You remember that the what good God? I mean, it wasn't a great
breakup, but I don't think hewas a demon. Plus, this client
fell through and blah blah, she'staking it hard. I figure a night
(17:48):
out would cheer her up. Julieisn't. I mean, she's okay,
she's fine. So is everyone's lifehere? Perfect hardly? Didn't you see
Nash's text yesterday? He got firedagain, but he'll bounce back like always.
Margo is going to fucking kill himwhen she finds out. It's going
(18:12):
to be great. Maybe it willcome out tonight. Where is all this
coming from? Are you anxious abouttonight? Everything is gonna be great?
Oh? I'm sure a big,old, fabulous party just for me.
How convenient. I was talking moreabout that guy, Noah. I know
(18:32):
some of us have been lucky enoughto meet him, But are you worried
what the rest of us will think? Oh? Or Jenny, they haven't
met right? The complex love interestis a very nice touch. His photographs
of your shop are fantastic. Ifhe's talented like that, I'm sure we'll
all love him. We are suckersfor people who are good at things.
(18:55):
Plus I hear he's gorgeous, fuckingit in look, I get it.
We're a loud, embarrassing, shamelessgroup. But it's clear you're into this
man. We will all be onour best behaviors. I'll make sure of
it. Now, get ready,it's time to party. Interior night.
(19:18):
The party has moved back to Pip'shome after a lovely night out. The
evening was a perfect mix of intimate, silly, and dramatic. It was
everything she wanted. She and Jennyeven shared a hug on the way out.
Her very best and dearest have justendured a seventeenth showing of the Mummy.
As the movie progressed, Philippa realizedthat Noah, who loves her dearly,
(19:41):
has a face and body comprised ofher very favorite movie stars, with
Brendan Fraser as a healthy core.The lefter was like warm honey all around
her. So much love, somuch to look forward to, the world
seeps in. It's Joe, It'snot something she can resist. Technically,
(20:04):
not my birthday anymore. After midnight, as I watched the clock take over,
I half expected the spelt break rightall the fall away. The night
was perfect, is perfect, justperfect. Everyone was there along with a
(20:27):
bunch of people I didn't know,but they all knew me, They consider
me a friend. Everyone seems themselves. They are themselves, no monsters or
blood or pain, but they're somehowunchanged by its absence. They're better for
(20:48):
it. Luca is still uncomfortable inlarge groups of people and spouts movie quotes
out of the blue, but he'salso a mechanical engineer and fuck looking brilliant
at it. Owen is a totalweirdo, but he writes science fiction books.
He's married to a man named aZem say Ed. I don't know
(21:11):
what truth that man and his namereveal, but he's happy and they both
love me, and the ardent isapparently a dive bar our favorite. I'm
remembering more and more. I remembereating cereal with Luca while we watched Saturday
(21:33):
morning cartoons and fighting over whose turnit was to use the computer, hiding
under a covers during the thunderstorms.I remember Uncle Owen helping us learn to
ride bikes, and Grandma Rose.She still loved me so much, but
we never talked about Granny Doris orTarot or anything like that. When she
(21:56):
died, she left me her favoritepearl necklace. It's like my brain is
changing. I remember a transformative,beautiful relationship with this woman, Jenny,
and how it ended. But eventhe heartbreaks are beautiful. It was a
(22:18):
mistake and I know I might makeit again with Noah, but I am
trying. And the way he looksat me, the way he's looking into
my eyes, stop this, stopit, stop, get out here.
We need to talk. Interior night. The scene of fulfilling love comes to
(22:41):
a stop the moment frozen. MisterMedia has been sitting with them at the
end of the couch all along.Hello, stop this. I haven't done
anything, okay, just a bitof editing for time. It's a clockmaker
situation, started and left. That'sthe beauty of this. It's completely self
(23:03):
contained, self sustaining. Sure,I could influence a person here or there
the same way I was able toin the old world. And yes,
your story up to this point wasdrawn from what I felt your life should
have been. But from this pointforward, even I can't control how the
world runs. Everything is in yourcontrol to craft your own destiny in a
way that you never could with them. Tell me, have you ever considered
(23:26):
how unfair your gift was shackled towhat happens next to always know you were
groomed to be what you were.Grandma Rose singled you out. She shaped
you, the gift, the site, the cards, turning you strange,
pulling you away from everyone else,disconnecting you. The truth, Philippa,
(23:47):
is that the person you were inthat world was created just as much as
the version here, created by her, by forces beyond your control, and
by them the moment in nineteen ten, a window opened and they took it,
repurpose it. It's what they do, mortal honey. They suck it
up. They twist the weird toshape your purpose, decided upon by someone
(24:08):
else. At least here, itwas crafted based on your desires, your
wants and needs, modular, changeableyours. Why are you doing all of
this? I want you to behappy. I want them all to be
stars in their own perfect show.I need your help to do it.
You need something from me. I'mgonna give you what you wanted. I'm
(24:33):
a genie that gets off on grantingwishes just the way the wish are wished.
The vessel is a lie. It'sa cruelty. It's keeping you from
our love. It's a terrarium,a menagerie, a game preserve, a
slaughterhouse. Just let me go,please, you want your cards here?
Here they are, But there isa twenty third major arcana, a seventy
(24:57):
ninth card. See here, it'sme, the cipher hidden inside the ink
and paper slipped into the pack.Just bring it anywhere near the vault,
down in the ardent, and that'sit. I won't hurt them. You're
killing them. They are eating youalive. Ah, please don't yell.
(25:18):
Look look at your friends and family. Look at these people who love you.
Wait, wait, what are youdoing? Look at the long fingers
reaching down from above, steady handsready for a harvest, to pluck the
sweet nectar filled flowers, a beessting or the caress of a tendril down
their throat. Stop, please stophurting them. Look at them, bleed
(25:42):
their honey, pip bleed it forthe watchers within. This is what I
want to save them from. Thisis what I want to save you from.
I can't stop. Please. Rightand wrong are lies, you and
me and us. That's the onlytruth. I can't Your loyalty is as
(26:03):
admirable as it is misplaced. Thespooky Grandpa, so befuddled, so well
meaning, tells you he is anancient being living in the body of a
human. Then his work is soimportant it requires him to say sustained forever,
two souls and one vessel, battlingagainst the monsters of the darkness for
all time. Hmm, But howat what cost comes that longevity? They
(26:26):
are oh so important, Pip?How many? How many of you do
you suppose they imagine they're worth?Look at it, Philippa, look at
them. Suck those you love dry. This is not a horror showed.
This is a documentary. Look atit. Don't look away. Stop.
You are food. I'll take itback. I'll do whatever you want.
(26:53):
It's not for me, Pip,it's for you. It's hard. I
know it's hard, but not formuch longer, just a transition. Then
you'll be back here, loved andintegrated. Okay, I understand. Now
I've shown you the truth. Youreyes are open, so those eyes belong
(27:15):
to me, Do you understand?Okay? Promise, I promise. That's
my star girl, Pip. Iam really proud of you. Okay,
thank you. Now click your heelsthree times and say there's no place like
(27:36):
home. Really you're right, Let'sskip it. Oh God, she's coming
back. Please please be okay,focus ohen your emotions are like a waterfall.
Hold everyone there she is. Thecipher is losing its grip. Oh
(27:56):
god, her eyes, she willnot have her wake up. Please my
cards, he's in the cards.Bind them quickly, Olivia, emia with
me. I bind you, Ibind you to Papa and see and pan
(28:25):
fog and flat and it's done.Pip. She's bleeding, she's coughing up
blood. She will endure. Herbody is rejecting it, but she will
(28:49):
endure. Ow ow this this isa milittleth an impossible object. It's oh
(29:11):
major Arcona twenty three. The cipher, Oh there he is. It's this
will serve us an anchor. Don'ttry to sit up, you damn near
got pulled inside out. Oh andeasy, I just had a strange dream
(29:38):
and you were there, and youwere there. Stop being funny. Well
she can't help that. Oh ohmy girl, we thought we'd lost you.
How did you convince it to releaseyou? Just such a good actress.
(30:03):
Mister Media was right. I'm agoddamn star. Thank you for listening
to Ghostwax, a production of ForeignTall Tales. Find us at Foreign Talltales
dot squarespace dot com. Ghostwax isan independent podcast, So if you liked
(30:27):
the show, please rate and reviewand consider joining us on Patreon at patreon
dot com. Slash Farign Tall Talesalso give a listen to our fantasy roleplay
show Could Have Been Heroes for somethingcompletely different. Ghostwax is written and directed
by Robert Kannutsen, production and editingby Aaron Schenrock. Our theme song is
(30:49):
by Bo Hoover. This episode featuresRobert Kannutsen as Von Sid Aeron Schenrock as
Luca and the Cipher, Stephanie Olsenas Pip, Gaylastell as Cat, h
J. Raider as Olivia, AlaAlushka as Amia, Jordan Gwiazdowski as Noah,
(31:10):
and Amanda Jacobsen as c c
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