15: The First Responder Suicide Crisis: Carolyn Acosta’s Story of Love, Loss & Warning Signs

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes discussions of PTSD, depression, and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). You are not alone. In this deeply moving and powerful episode, grownwoman guest Carolyn Acosta shares the story of her late husband, Alex – a heroic firefighter, devoted father, and elite Air Rescue team member whose invisible battle with PTSD ended in unimaginable loss. Carolyn opens up about the warning signs she missed, the silence surrounding mental health in first responder culture, and how her son’s strength helped her find her own. Now, through the First Alarm Foundation and Family First Podcast, Carolyn is transforming her pain into purpose by advocating for mental health awareness and suicide prevention among first responder families. This is a story about love, legacy, and refusing to stay silent. KEY POINTS  [0:00] Introduction  [4:05] Life as a first responder’s wife meant strength, sacrifice, and “holding down the fort.” [10:28] Alex carried silent trauma but kept his pain from his family. [12:25] Early signs appeared: sleepless nights, anxiety, and disconnection. [14:16] He revealed a long-hidden PTSD diagnosis she didn’t realize was severe. [19:26] On July 12, 2024, Alex took his life… a loss that shattered their world. [25:40] Carolyn turned grief into purpose through the First Alarm Foundation and First Alarm Family First podcast. QUOTES  “He was the guy you could always count on.” – Carolyn Acosta “He couldn’t open up to us… they don’t want to bring it home, so either it be a loss or a tough day, they’d rather just leave it at the station.” – Carolyn Acosta “He was diagnosed with PTSD, a work-related PTSD, and that was never shared until the six months.” – Carolyn Acosta “If one person decides to stay, that’s the whole purpose of our mission.” – Carolyn Acosta GUEST RESOURCES  Carolyn Acosta  Website | firstalarmfoundation Podcast | @FirstAlarmFamilyFirst  RESOURCES  Shannon Allen Grown Website | https://www.grown.org/  IG | @swalkerwil  🔗 Visit the Grown Website Grown.org 📲 Follow Shannon on Instagram @swalkerwil 🎧 Like, Share & Subscribe If this episode moved you, inspired you, or made you think, don’t keep it to yourself! Like, share, and subscribe to grownwoman on your favorite podcast platform. grownwoman is produced by EPYC Media Network