December 16, 2025 • 47 mins
Midlife can feel like a perfect storm—menopause, stubborn weight gain, bone loss, shifting identities, and an unexpected rise in loneliness. In today’s episode of Asking for a Friend, we’re digging into one of the most overlooked drivers of women’s health in their 40s, 50s, and 60s: disconnection—and why rebuilding community may be as powerful as lifting heavy or optimizing your hormones.
My guest, Terry Tateossian, is a Harvard-trained, ISSA-certified personal trainer, nutritionist, emotional-eating coach, hormone specialist, and founder of THOR: The House of Rose Retreats, where hundreds of midlife women have transformed not just their bodies—but their confidence, connection, and sense of purpose.
We talk about:
- Why loneliness is the new smoking for women in midlife
- How community improves metabolic health, adherence, motivation, and emotional resilience
- Terry’s personal transformation from obesity, burnout, and hospitalizations to becoming a leader in women's wellness
- The recurring struggles she sees in midlife women—under-eating protein, chronic dieting, hormone confusion, and the pressure to stay small
- How retreats create safety, belonging, and joy—often sparking lifelong friendships
- The smallest, simplest steps you can take today to feel less alone
- Why lifestyle foundations matter more than ever—protein, strength training, stress reduction, and nervous system regulation
If you’ve been feeling isolated, stuck, or unsure how to reconnect with the adventurous, vibrant woman you used to be, this conversation is going to speak straight to you.
You can find Terry Tateossian at:
https://www.thehouseofrose.com/womens-wellness-retreats/
https://www.instagram.com/thor.wellness/
https://www.instagram.com/how.good.can.it.get/
_________________________________________
If you’re doing “all the right things” and still feel stuck, adding a layer of support may be an option. I’ve partnered with a trusted telehealth platform offering modern solutions for women in midlife—including micro-dosed GLP-1 and other peptide therapies.
https://elliemd.com/michelefolan - Create a free account to view all products.
Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/askingforafriend_pod/
✨ Sign up for my weekly newsletter:
https://michelefolanfasterway.myflodesk.com/i6i44jw4fq
Like to connect? Email me at askingforafriendpodcast1@gmail.com
Transcripts are created with AI and may not be perfectly accurate.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional healthcare services. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions regarding a medical condition.
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Michele Folan (00:00):
The new year is coming, so let me ask you
something.
Are your goals the same onesyou made last year and maybe the
year before that?
If you're a midlife womannavigating menopause, stubborn
weight gain, bone loss, and lowenergy starting over every
January isn't the problem.
The plan is.
(00:20):
One that needs protein toprotect muscle, strength
training to support bonedensity, and smart nutrition to
keep your metabolism workingwith you, not against you.
Because this isn't aboutlooking good in a dress for one
(00:41):
event.
It's about staying strong,mobile, and independent for
decades to come.
I'm not coaching you for your40s.
I'm coaching you so you're notin a nursing home at 80.
If this is the year you stopchasing skinny and start
building strength for life,welcome to Faster Way.
Check the show notes for moredetails.
(01:03):
Health, wellness, fitness, andeverything in between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
I'm your host, Michelle Folan,and this is Asking for a Friend.
Today's episode goes straightto the core of an issue
(01:26):
affecting more midlife womenthan we realize: loneliness,
disconnection, and the healthconsequences that come with
losing our sense of community.
As we move through our 40s,50s, and 60s, life shifts.
Kids leave home, careersevolve, aging parents need us,
friendships change, and our ownbodies begin a new hormonal
(01:49):
chapter.
Those transitions often leavewomen feeling more isolated than
ever, even when surrounded bypeople.
And the science is clear.
Chronic lonelinesssignificantly increases the risk
of cardiovascular disease,depression, anxiety, and even
early mortality.
That's why today's guest is theperfect voice for this
(02:11):
conversation.
Terry Taddiosian is aHarvard-trained, ISSA certified
personal trainer, nutritionist,emotional eating coach, hormone
specialist, and the founder ofThor, the House of Rose
retreats, where she has helpedhundreds of midlife women
rebuild their health,confidence, and most
(02:31):
importantly, their connections.
Terry's expertise sits at theintersection of community and
healing.
She understands how working outalongside other women boosts
adherence, reduces stress,elevates mood, and brings back
something most of us have beenmissing.
Joy.
Her retreats are known not justfor physical transformation,
(02:53):
but for the deep lastingfriendships women carry home
with them.
Terry Tatiosian, welcome toAsking for a Friend.
Terry Tateossian (03:02):
Michelle, thank you for having me.
It's an absolute pleasure.
Michele Folan (03:06):
Well, I am so happy you're here, and I'm even
happier that I learned how topronounce your last name.
So I'm it's it's a good startto the day.
Terry Tateossian (03:18):
I love it.
Michele Folan (03:19):
You know, and I told you before we started, I
said, you know, I've beenfollowing you for quite some
time, and it was because of yourown personal transformation
that was incredibly powerful.
And I always love to know whatwas the moment, or maybe even
that rock bottom place that yousaid to yourself, something has
(03:43):
to change.
Terry Tateossian (03:44):
Great question.
So there were multiple,multiple rock bottom situations
and events that led me tofinally get my act together.
And let me tell you, it was themost difficult thing I have
ever achieved in my life,despite considering myself to be
(04:06):
very hardworking, fairlyintelligent, and kind of a
little bit of an overachiever.
And um, yeah, that this was oneof the most mysterious uh
journeys of my life.
But I ended up in the hospitaltwice.
So I thought I was having heartattacks at the time.
(04:27):
The first one did not getthrough to me that I was living
in a very unhealthy uh type ofway.
I was uh working 16, 17 hourdays.
I had had two children, one at30, one at 35.
And I was still wearingmaternity clothes at 37, two
(04:48):
years after I had my son, um,because I refused to buy normal
clothes.
And so little by little I justkept gaining more and more
weight.
It um, no matter what how manydiets I tried.
And you know, I've tried overprobably about over 30 different
diets, you know, from keto toAtkins to South Beach to
(05:08):
Fruitarian to carnivore, vegan,don't even get me started on
vegan.
I did that for six months and Ifailed.
Yeah, so it was a lot of trialand error, a lot of struggle.
And um eventually I got braveenough to hire a coach.
And you know, Michelle.
(05:29):
Yes, so Michelle was my firstcoach, yes.
Michele Folan (05:32):
Yeah, so let's explain.
Okay, Michelle McDonald is JoanMcDonald's daughter, and many
of you already know train withJoan.
Joan was also a guest on thepodcast, but the two of them are
really a powerhouse combo.
And um, how lucky for you, Iwill say, that you got to train
(05:54):
with Michelle McDonald because Iknow that's not easy, but you
clearly had some amazingresults.
So I'll let you go ahead andfinish your story.
Well, it's a really funnystory, okay.
Terry Tateossian (06:09):
So this had to be 2016, maybe.
Okay.
I had been yeah, 2016 or 17 orin that time frame, I had
started following Michelle uhbecause I had a friend who did a
competition, and that's and Imean, okay, I'm 210 pounds,
(06:31):
okay.
My dream is to look like afitness model, but I am 50% body
fat, right?
And so I have a and I picturethis, right?
I have a friend who did acompetition and she was showing
me her photos and her footage,and so I went down the rabbit
hole and I looked at the the topcompetitors um for that
(06:53):
competition, and I followedevery single person because I
thought I was gonna get a clueon how to get my act together
and how can I look like that,right?
My vision bored.
And I started followingMichelle, and I probably stalked
her about a year, and in thatuh course of time, she had a
challenge and she said, Hey, I'mdoing a challenge.
(07:14):
Anybody that is interested, uh,here's you know an application.
I'll let you know if you getaccepted.
And I don't know, I don't knowwhat got into me.
Okay.
I was a marshmallow, okay.
I was very overweight and I wasstruggling.
I did not, I was completely outof my league, jumped in the
deep end of the pool.
(07:34):
I filled out the application,and in my mind, I thought to
myself, there's no way in hellI'm getting in.
So forget about it, right?
This is like professional levelstuff, okay?
Yeah.
And she sends me a message,like, you know, uh a week or two
later, like, hey, you know, yougot accepted.
And I was like, what?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
What are you talking about?
Terry Tateossian (07:58):
So I got in.
That's awesome.
I got into her, I got into hercohort.
She had a very uh limited uhspace, and everyone in my cohort
was prof they wereprofessional.
Okay.
They were uh they've been infitness there the majority of
(08:18):
their lives, they competedpreviously.
I didn't know what a dumbbellwas, okay?
That's awesome.
I mean, that's how I startedout with Michelle.
And so she was sent, she wouldgive me my program and it would
say like D B R D L, right?
(08:39):
I mean, now obviously 10 yearslater, I know exactly what that
is.
It's a dumbbell Romaniandeadlift.
But back then, I was like, whatlanguage is this?
Like, like, can somebodytranslate to me what this means?
Because it was so far from myexpertise, right?
So I didn't even know what DBmeant a dumbbell.
(08:59):
I didn't know what macros were.
Okay, so macros to me 10 yearsago was an Excel software
function.
Michele Folan (09:12):
This is so funny, you know, and I and I'm not
laughing at you.
I'm laughing at this situationonly because, you know, I work
with women that are mostly 50,55 plus, and they all think, oh
my gosh, you know, this is sooverwhelming.
The macros, I what do you meanI have to lift weights?
(09:33):
My pink dumbbells are no goodanymore, you know.
And you did it though.
You did it.
You were you were obese and youdid it.
Terry Tateossian (09:42):
You know, there were times Michelle uh
like figuratively was draggingme by the hair through the
process because I failed a lot,right?
So and I and I had a greatcoach and I still failed.
And eventually she realized Iwas and I was like a child,
right?
So I would have a bingingepisode and I would hide it, and
(10:06):
and I would check in and Iwould say, you know, you have to
report, like, you know, whatare your measurements?
How much do you weigh on thescale?
And I would be like, oh, youknow, I gained three pounds
while I'm in a caloric deficitthat has been working before.
All of a sudden I startedgaining weight.
So she would say, Well, whatthe hell's going on?
(10:28):
And I'm like, ah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I I don't know.
I did everything right, andthis is just what's happening,
right?
Terry Tateossian (10:38):
And so eventually she's like, you know,
you you're having likeemotional binging episodes here,
right?
So that there's more here thanjust training in your macros.
You're having a lot ofself-sabotaging behaviors.
And so I kept going back to thedrawing board, back to the
drawing board, trying over andover and over again until I
(10:58):
could get my head straight.
And uh, that's when thingsreally settled in.
Michele Folan (11:03):
So a couple things here.
I think you going through thisprocess yourself has allowed you
great empathy for working withyour own clients.
Terry Tateossian (11:14):
You know, I'm so grateful for that whole
experience because it reallygives me perspective for how
many battles we have to fight aswomen in order to come out the
(11:36):
other side, right?
So things like body dysmorphia,let me tell you.
You're looking at the posterchild here, right?
Things like having to learnthat uh at some point getting
there's a such a thing asgetting too skinny, right?
(11:56):
Learning that there's anaddiction to the number on the
scale, there's a dopamine hit toseeing the scale go down every
week, and then oh my gosh, whathappens when it doesn't, right?
Our identity being tied tothat.
Uh, there is a an anxiety,panic, and depression uh
(12:17):
association to the scale goingup, right?
So there's so there's so muchnuance here that um I went
through myself that I am sograteful for because I had to
learn how to sit in all of theseuncomfortable spaces for an
extended period of time in orderto have things really settle
(12:40):
into me.
Like for me to fully embodythis lifestyle, I spent, I would
say, probably about 90% of itbeing very uncomfortable.
Like uh working with Michelle,I did multiple builds, right?
So I had to intentionally gainweight in order to build muscle.
And the reason why I wentthrough that is because when I
(13:00):
lost 80 pounds, my glutes felldown, right?
There was nothing there.
And so I would ask my coach andsay, Well, what can I do?
What do I need to do?
And she said, You need to do abuild and you need to focus on
training the glutes more.
And so I did that, but I had togain weight, so the the scale
had to go in the oppositedirection, right?
(13:22):
Yeah, and I had to stay there,I had to stay at 150, 155 pounds
for prolonged periods of time.
I couldn't be 125 pounds.
Like I was at the end of my uhweight loss.
Michele Folan (13:35):
Did you find a sweet spot where your weight now
you're where you're comfortableat your age now?
Terry Tateossian (13:42):
So I I find myself to be comfortable
anywhere under 160 pounds.
As soon as I approach 155, Ijust don't feel as energized, I
would say.
Uh, but my body composition isvery different now at 150 pounds
than it was 10 years ago at 150pounds.
(14:04):
And so um generally inmaintenance, I like to be at
150, 155 pounds is where I feelgood, where my hormones are
feeling good.
I have enough energy, I'm notunderweight, I'm not overweight,
I'm just functioning as good asas well as possible.
Michele Folan (14:25):
Yeah, and you know what?
I think this is a greatmessage, Terry, is that we have
to find that sweet spot with ourweight.
And I don't like people to beobsessed with the scale, but
there is so much tied to thatweight on the scale and just
that feeling of well-being thatis so important, our make making
sure our hormones are in check.
(14:47):
And so I think there's alooking at body composition
rather than weight is a muchhealthier way to be.
You agree?
Absolutely, but it's so hard tountangle ourselves from the
scale.
Terry Tateossian (15:02):
Yeah, diet culture.
And so this is something, oh,for sure.
And we're we've beenconditioned, right, for so many
years.
I mean, our whole lives,really, from what I can
remember, is that you had to be,I I had to be 120 pounds, or I
wasn't worth living, you know,it wasn't worth being here at
all.
Like, don't even talk to mebecause I'm just a waste of
(15:22):
space if I'm not 120 pounds.
And so I had to unlearn all ofthat and really understand that
muscle, muscle weighs more thanfat, right?
And body composition trumpseverything.
It matters the most, right?
Because the the scale does notunderstand how much of that
weight is muscle, how much ofthat weight is body fat, your
(15:45):
organs, skin, water, digestion,etc.
Michele Folan (15:50):
So, yeah, absolutely.
Terry, we're gonna take a quickbreak, and when we come back, I
want to talk about the scienceand reality of loneliness.
I want to talk about peptidesfor a moment.
Yes, weight loss peptides areeverywhere right now, and when
used correctly, they're veryeffective and backed by years of
(16:11):
clinical data.
But peptides are not just aboutweight loss.
There are peptides that supportmetabolic health, energy,
muscle, your sleep, skin, hair,and long-term healthy aging, the
things midlife women areactually struggling with.
That's why I partnered with atrusted telemedicine resource.
(16:32):
My clients were asking for morebecause eating well and lifting
heavy sometimes still isn'tenough in midlife.
LEMD is physician-led,medically supervised, and uses
an FDA certified compoundingpharmacy.
No internet hacks, noself-prescribing, no guessing.
This isn't about chasing asmaller body.
(16:54):
It's about preserving muscle,protecting your metabolism, and
supporting the body you want tolive in for the next 20 to 30
years.
If you want real options, nottrends, you can learn more
through the link in the shownotes.
Okay, we are back.
Before we went on break, I toldyou I wanted to talk about the
(17:16):
science and reality ofloneliness.
And I think I read this maybe acouple weeks ago.
We talk about sitting as thenew smoking, but they also talk
about loneliness being the newsmoking for midlife women.
And I'm curious why you thinkthat isolation hits so hard in
(17:37):
this particular season of life.
It's so interesting, right?
Terry Tateossian (17:40):
So if we look back at our roles, most of our
roles as women have been ascaretakers, right?
So either children, agingparents, family, household,
maybe even career, right?
So if we've dedicated our wholelives to our career and we're
(18:04):
reaching retirement age, ourwhole identity is changing,
right?
And so we're approaching ourmidlife, 50, 60 years old, and
these identities no longerapply, right?
Maybe the children have movedout, maybe parents are no longer
(18:26):
around, maybe we're retiring,maybe we got a divorce.
All kinds of things haveshifted around.
And so when we have spent ourwhole lives being the emotional
backbone for everybody else, whois there for us in that period
of time, right?
(18:46):
So we wake up and we go, Well,who's here for me?
Right?
And sometimes, you know, peoplejust assume that because you we
have been the caretaker and theemotional support for them,
that we don't need that, right?
So usually the strongest peoplehave very little support
(19:09):
emotionally because everybodyjust assumes that they they have
it together, they don't theydon't need my help, right?
But that's not really the case.
And so women are conditioned tonot ask for help, not take up
space, just be silent in theirown uh emotional state.
So I feel like in midlife theykind of take center stage a lot
(19:31):
of times.
And you know, we see I see itall the time.
Michele Folan (19:35):
Yeah, we know the data, and women with strong
ties socially tend to livelonger.
But emotionally, what doescommunity do that's so low
health efforts simply cannot?
Terry Tateossian (19:49):
So I I'll tell you from first hand experience,
because I've I literally livethat that is the secret sauce.
So any time, and it doesn'tjust apply to health, it applies
to Business.
It applies to any type of goal,any type of project, any type
of venture or activity orwhatever it may be.
Health is uh where Iexperienced it in the most
(20:12):
dramatic way.
So when you're in a communityor in a group that has the same
goal and intention as you do,all of a sudden you feel like um
you don't have to carry yourshame alone.
Right?
So people sharing their ownstruggle, their own challenges,
(20:34):
their own failures, quoteunquote, right?
Embolden you to say, oh wow,you know, I'm not alone in this.
I don't have to carry the shameon my own.
You can share it with a group.
Uh people winning in the group,people winning in the small pod
of community that you'vejoined.
(20:55):
It gives you more courage andhope, like, oh my gosh, I can do
this too, right?
And so you you become a littlebit more brave.
At the same time, maybe yourpain tolerance increases, right?
Maybe you're seeing as acollective, the whole group
lifting heavy and you know,really working hard on their
(21:18):
macros and uh figuring thingsout.
And you're like, well, youknow, maybe I can do this too.
You know, I don't have to, Idon't have to be afraid of um
going to the gym.
If so-and-so can do it, I cando this too, right?
It gives you a little bit moreuh tolerance to being
uncomfortable.
Yep.
Your motivation goes up, right?
(21:38):
You're seeing people takingaction and moving and doing
things, and you're like, yeah,you know, there's like a
dopamine hit to that, right?
And so uh your oxytocinincreases, right?
Because now you have somebodyto talk to and you have the same
interests and you're doing thesame things, and maybe they they
(21:58):
live on the other side of theworld.
It still doesn't matter.
You have a common bond and youhave that connection, right?
Your dopamine goes up becausenow you start doing new things,
you're learning new things,you're experimenting, you're
doing all this stuff, yourhormones stabilize, right?
So when you're in a connectedtype of situation, you feel like
(22:18):
you have a little bit morepurpose, right?
And it your biology startsrecalibrating.
You just you feel better, youyou feel um less alone, right?
Yeah.
Michele Folan (22:30):
You know, I I have to say this.
I worked out at home for a verylong time.
And then earlier this year, Irejoined the gym.
I had always gone to the gym,and for some reason, I just
decided I was just gonna workout at home.
I've got a lot of equipment inthe basement.
It has been so enjoyable to goto the gym, but not only for my
(22:56):
own purposes, but to approacholder women.
And when I'm saying older, I'msaying 65, 70, 75, and chatting
with these women to find outwhat motivates them because I'm
always so amazed.
You know, they're doing themachines, they're doing weights
and all of that.
And it's really helped me.
(23:17):
Like I look at them and I say,well, gosh, you know, what am I
complaining about?
You know, here's here's thiswoman who's, you know, 15 years
older than I doing, you know,doing all the stuff.
And and so I see where that canbe very motivating and bring,
you know, you can laugh withthese women.
And, you know, I think that'ssomething that we don't get
(23:39):
enough of is that kind ofcommunity.
Um, I don't know these women, Ialways ask their name, but why
do you think that that joy thatyou get in that moment is so
critical for adherence andresults in the long run?
Terry Tateossian (23:55):
Well, it kind of gives you a mirror, you know,
it it reflects back to youparts about yourself that maybe
you are not giving enoughcredit, right?
So you see somebody that's yourage doing, you know, incredible
things in the gym, beingconsistent, and there you are
too, but you're never reallygiving yourself credit for that.
(24:16):
But it's easier to give creditto her because she's doing it,
but then somewhere in your mind,you're like, ah, I'm doing this
too.
So yeah, I'm associated withthis person, and I feel really
good about it, right?
And so it gives you a bit of amirror, it interrupts the shame
spiral a little bit, right?
Because we tend to beatourselves up a lot, you know.
(24:37):
As women, we do it all thetime.
But somehow, when our friend ishaving a challenge, we're a lot
kinder, and somewhere,hopefully, in their mind, it
comes right back to us becausewe give that back to ourselves.
But there's so many, so manyreasons, right?
Like gives you hope.
Like if you see when I seesomebody in in their 80s going
(25:00):
to the gym and doing all thesethings, I'm gonna be 50 next
year.
It makes me really happy.
It makes me really happy thatI'm still showing up for myself
because it's so easy, right?
Like the big five-oh, it's soeasy to get into my head about
it and say, Oh, you'reinsignificant, nobody cares what
the heck you're doing at thispoint.
(25:21):
No, that's not true, right?
Michele Folan (25:24):
Right.
Oh, yeah.
You know, and I spoke to awoman the other day at the gym.
Her name was Carol.
Carol was 68, close to 70.
And she was kind of nursing aknee replacement.
And I said, Well, that'sfantastic, you're here.
She goes, Well, last year I hadboth shoulders replaced.
She's at the gym, you know, andI I love that community.
(25:49):
You know, she was chatting withother people, and and you have
to think that that not onlyhelped her get back to the gym,
but helped with her healingprocess of having that community
around her.
Terry Tateossian (26:01):
Absolutely.
Michele Folan (26:03):
Yeah, yeah.
I just think it's fantasticbecause I think so often we have
those types of major surgeries,and we take we take a few steps
backward.
And that we don't have to dothat.
You have to have something todrive you forward because, you
know, um, it's like getting, youknow, having a broken hip or
something like that.
That can be devastating.
(26:24):
It's it's keeping moving.
So, what motivates you?
And I think what you're sayingis, you know, you lead these
retreats where women form thesefriendships that last long after
the trip.
Talk a little bit about why youstarted these retreats that you
do and what was thatenvironment that you were trying
(26:46):
to build.
Absolutely.
Terry Tateossian (26:48):
So the retreats are kind of like um a
fully immersive experience intothis lifestyle.
And uh, it's five days, fournights.
We do yoga every day,restorative yoga for the
emotional regulation, nervoussystem regulation at night.
We um eat nutritious wholefoods.
(27:10):
We talk a lot about that.
We do have some liftingsessions and plotti sessions,
talk about the benefits ofmuscle and just a full
all-around lifestyle type ofimmersion into this particular
lifestyle because I know howdifficult it is and how
intimidating it can be uhinitially to get started.
Michele Folan (27:34):
So, what themes or struggles do you see come up
repeatedly among midlife womenat your retreats?
Terry Tateossian (27:43):
A lot of the struggles that I I do notice is
just misinformation on what toeat and how to eat.
Specifically, most women areunder-eating protein and
overeating uh fat and carbs.
That's the a lot of what I dosee.
Chronic or under eating isanother one where women are
(28:05):
stuck in a cycle of uh constantdieting.
That's another common thingthat I noticed is being
underweight or overweight.
There's it's one of uh the twousually.
And um, you know, somemisconceptions on hormone health
and things like that.
Uh there's lots of noise outthere right now, and what to do,
(28:28):
and you know, which medicationsto take to lose weight, and
which GLP and which HRT.
It's so there's so much goingon where it's disguising the
natural things you could dobefore uh attempting any of
these other things.
Michele Folan (28:50):
So it sounds like you really stress lifestyle.
So we're we're talking aboutstress reduction, moving our
bodies, and eating whole foods.
So I love that philosophy.
I think that is such a greatplace to start because you and I
both know that without goodlifestyle, HRT and a GLP one
(29:13):
isn't going to help you longterm.
Those are they're they're greathelp, but you've got you've got
to do the the hard work on thefront end.
You agree?
Terry Tateossian (29:23):
Absolutely.
And I'm not saying that theydon't belong uh in the spectrum
of uh ways to manage things, butthere's a time and place for
them and they're for specificpeople.
So uh that's just my ideologyon that.
Michele Folan (29:38):
Yeah, I agree.
Can you share a powerful storyof a woman whose life was
changed as she joined yourcommunity and found herself at
your retreats?
Terry Tateossian (29:49):
Well, uh, I mean, I'll tell you this much.
I I don't want to singleanybody out, but I'll tell you
this much.
So quite a few of my clientshave been to a retreat and then
have become one-on-one coachingclients.
And uh it sometimes it startsthat way and sometimes it goes
in the other direction.
So sometimes women start ascoaching clients and then they
(30:10):
come to retreats.
But generally, what I have uhheard uh directly is that uh
sometimes a catalyst is aretreat, but then what happens?
The real work starts when yougo home, right?
And you go home and you applythese ideas and uh these habits
into your lifestyle and youlearn how to integrate them on a
(30:33):
consistent basis?
That's where the magic reallyhappens.
Michele Folan (30:37):
How do you get women to open up?
Because I would think sometimespeople show up and they may be
a little guarded.
How do you get them feelingsafe enough to really
participate?
It's such a good question.
Am I right though?
Are they do people kind of justlike kind of a little tentative
as they come in?
Terry Tateossian (30:58):
Yes, yes, and so I I might have a unique style
with this where I don't ask alot of questions, I don't really
pry, I just let people be intheir own space.
I don't uh force the schedule,I don't force any particular
(31:20):
activities.
People can choose to interactwith the group or not, and
there's no judgment in that,right?
Uh I I don't have anyexpectations.
Wow, what a great question youjust asked me like that.
I I have no expectations forwhat I expect from the people
(31:45):
that come into a relationship,right?
So sometimes people comebecause they need more space in
their lives, they they feeloverwhelmed at home.
Um, so the last thing I wouldwant to do is uh make them feel
more overwhelmed, right?
Or more noised and chatter.
And sometimes people comebecause they want they want
(32:05):
that, they want entertainmentand stories and jokes and
activities and things like that.
So it's a very different uhtype of vibe for each person.
Uh, but over the course of fivedays, what I hope to achieve is
uh to provide whatever it isthat is needed for each person,
(32:28):
and each person is very unique,and so it's a little bit
difficult to answer, but thereare some groups that are very
similar, and that's where a lotof magic happens, right?
And um, when people synchronizetheir energies, uh we had one
group where we laughed so hardour abs were hurting for five
days.
Michele Folan (32:49):
That's awesome.
Everybody was so funny.
Yeah, that's great though.
Yeah, that's and that makes youalways feel good that people
when people finally feel at easeto open up.
But I totally understand thatsome people come to that needing
that that space and quiet timeto kind of reconnect with
(33:10):
themselves, right?
For women listening that mayfeel isolated, what's the first
smallest step she can take todayto feel less alone?
Terry Tateossian (33:25):
What a good question.
So I'll tell you what I do,right?
So if I start to feel thatfeeling, right?
And it and it's I I mean, thebest way I can describe it is
it's like a mix of grief.
So, what does loneliness reallyfeel like if I had to break it
(33:47):
down from my perspective?
It's like a missing ofsomething, right?
You're missing someone, you'remissing something, you're
grieving, maybe your past life,maybe um your ex-husband, your
(34:08):
children, maybe your divorced,maybe someone passed away,
right?
So there's a a bit of a uhgrief mixed with a fear that I'm
never going to have that everagain, right?
Yep.
And so uh that's I mean, I'venever thought about this.
I just just kind of try todissect it in the moment because
(34:29):
I'm like, what does it tastelike to me and what does it feel
like?
And there's a a bit of ahopelessness in it, right?
So I'm never gonna have thatever again.
So you're grieving whatever youlost, and then you're afraid
that you're never going to feelthat way again, right?
You're never gonna find anotherfriend, you're never gonna be
happy again.
And that to me is loneliness.
(34:50):
So, how how would I go aboutaddressing it?
I would say the grief is nevergonna go away, right?
So that's gonna be there for aslong as it needs to be.
Just feel it, sit with it, tryto remember, you know, the the
good parts of uh having the timewith the situation, the
(35:13):
environment, the place, theperson.
But then think about well, whatcan I do that is so different
from this thing that I'mgrieving, right?
That it's gonna give me a newavenue to pursue, right?
So hey, I've I've never gonerollerblading or whatever,
(35:37):
something that you've alwayswanted to do, that you never had
time to do.
You were too busy with yourfamily, your business, your
friends, your your yourhousehold, your parents,
whatever.
But it's something you alwayswanted to do.
So for me, that was yoga.
Oh, interesting, right?
Uh-huh.
Um, so I I really uh in my 20swhen people would ask me, what
(35:59):
do you want to be in your lifeif you could do anything and you
didn't have to worry about itfinancially?
Uh my answer was always Iwanted to be a yoga teacher at
the beach.
Of course, at the beach.
Yeah.
Don't ask me why.
So I dived into that, right?
And so I made a lot of friendsthrough the learning process of
(36:20):
yoga.
And yoga is philosophical.
There's, you know, uh theasanas are physical.
So there's so many things tolearn in that particular theme.
Uh, that when you startconnecting with other people
that are studying the samething, um, you make friends, and
then little by little you don'tfeel as lonely.
(36:41):
And you also have a purpose,right?
Every morning you wake up, youget up, and you say, okay, how
can I improve my handstand orheadstand or my plank or my down
dog or you know, whatever it isthat those you're working on,
and then you can connect withthe people that you joined in
the cohort or group, or let'ssay it's a lifestyle
(37:04):
transformation group.
It could be your macros, right?
How do I make the best meal andyou know, for my meal number
three, for example?
Or right, whatever it may be,do something new and join a
community where they're doingthe exact same thing on the
exact same timeline.
So they're not ahead of you andthey're not really behind you,
(37:26):
they're in the same spot.
Yeah.
Michele Folan (37:29):
And you know, and I think we can we can translate
this to all kinds of things.
I mean, it's I I've had um anempty nest expert on my show
before, and we talked about, youknow, take the art class.
You know, you've wanted topaint, you know, go go try, you
know, a painting class.
And I think we worry aboutrejection too.
(37:52):
It's like we've already feltsome rejection, and that that
may be part of that lonelinessthat we're feeling, but you
don't know till you try.
And I think by this time, youknow, it's be adventurous, don't
let that that fear of rejectionor not being good enough hold
(38:13):
you back from having newexperiences, because I think
that's so important.
And this is a good segue intomy next question because I think
more and more women are willingto invest in retreats.
And is it burnout, loneliness,identity shifts, or is it
(38:34):
something deeper that you'reseeing?
Terry Tateossian (38:36):
I think what I'm seeing is we're just really
tired.
We're really tired, and we weare caretakers, right?
So 90% of the time we'recaretakers.
So when you go on a retreat,especially ones where everything
is included and somebody'staking care of you for those
(38:59):
five days, you don't have tothink about what am I gonna eat?
What am I gonna cook?
What is so-and-so gonna eat,what am I gonna cook for them,
and all these things, and whatam I gonna do, or what's my
activity?
You don't have to think aboutany of that.
It's already the schedule'salready created.
You can choose the onlydecision you have to make is do
I participate or do I not?
And that's it, right?
(39:21):
And so there's a lot ofdecision-making fatigue that I
am seeing that, and then that'sa common theme.
And and it's doesn't matteryour age, it doesn't matter if
you're 30 or you're, you know,95.
It's the same kind of thing.
And it's a little bit of adifferent type of environment,
(39:41):
right?
So change of scenery, change ofenvironment, change of
activities, and then no, youdon't need to make any
decisions, you just literallyget to focus on yourself.
Um, and I think we're lackingthat across the board, all of
us.
Michele Folan (39:56):
For sure.
And your brand asks, and I lovethis.
Tagline, how good can it get?
So, for women listening, whatdoes good actually look like in
this season of life?
Terry Tateossian (40:09):
Anything you want.
What a great season in life tobe in.
And I joke around about thisall the time.
You can do whatever you want.
Yeah.
Right.
So, like, really, the onlything that is, and and I I know
that I'm gonna get arguments.
Well, financially, I can dowhatever you want.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
You just have to um repositionthe way you think about things,
(40:33):
right?
And you have to um try and seeor find, be resourceful, right?
So find ways to make thingshappen uh in a way that you you
can afford to do them, you havethe time to do them, you're
willing to do them.
It's an amazing part of life.
We have more resources in our50s, 60s, and 70s.
(40:56):
We have more time available.
Uh, we can join travel groups,right?
So that's another uh thing Inotice a lot.
You know, we don't want totravel alone, but there's so
many ways to go with a group orin a group where you're not
alone, where other people aretraveling solo as well.
Um, we can choose to have justextraordinary experiences and
(41:19):
see the world, yeah.
Um make new friends.
If if you're into traveling,you can sign up for a safari in
in somewhere in Africa and go.
Michele Folan (41:30):
Yeah.
And and and you know, but Ithink you there's there are
things that we can do in ourbackyard as well.
And but I think it's justsaying yes, say yes to yourself
and go and do the thing.
Because how wonderful andgratifying it is to stretch
yourself a little bit and beadventurous, you know.
(41:51):
It's like I think sometimes,Terry, we forget that
adventurous side that we have.
You know, we we we wereadventurous at eight.
We were adventurous maybe evenat 12.
At what point did we stop, youknow, having that lust for
adventure?
And uh I love I love that youdo these retreats.
Speaking of retreats, I waslooking at your 2026 schedule.
(42:15):
Oh my lord, please tell mylisteners um some of the retreat
locations that you have comingup.
Terry Tateossian (42:25):
Yeah, so we have, I think maybe 15 uh dates
in the Smoky Mountains in 2026,right on top of a mountain hill,
mountaintop, uh 50 acres ofnatural turkey forest land.
Uh nothing around, you'reliterally in nature.
So I think there's 15, 16 datesfor that.
(42:46):
Then we have two retreats inthe south of France.
Um, one is in April, one is inuh September, and then we have
one in Sedona in June.
And they all include hiking,they all include yoga.
Uh, some of them include evengym passes uh to the local gyms
(43:08):
to lift weights and get a goodworkout in.
And yeah, there it I'm excited.
I'm so excited.
I cannot wait.
Michele Folan (43:16):
Yeah, you've got a big year ahead of you.
I was really impressed.
I want to ask you a personalquestion.
What is one of your dailynon-negotiables?
What's something you do everyday for yourself?
Terry Tateossian (43:28):
Oh, yeah, I have to lift weights.
Okay.
That's a non-negotiable thing.
Yeah.
And that doesn't mean going tothe gyms.
Uh, I over the years, so it'sbeen over 10 years, I have built
out a gym uh in my house uh inin New Jersey.
There's also a gym in Tennesseeas well.
And so you really all you needis dumbbells, uh, maybe a cable
(43:51):
machine and a barbell and abench.
And so uh it's a non-negotiablethat happens every day.
Uh maybe there's one rest dayhere and there, but I really
enjoy it.
It makes me feel good mentally,not just physically.
And so that is uh the one thingI will not give up.
Michele Folan (44:10):
Oh, and I love hearing you say that because
that that is probably one of thehardest things for my more
mature clients to embrace islifting weights.
And it's because we come fromthat cardio mentality that it
was all about the burn of thecardio and not necessarily the
(44:30):
importance of lifting heavy.
So thanks for thanks for sayingthat.
I usually I get a lot of peoplelike sleep and yoga meditation,
that you know, that stuff, andwhich I think is all super
important because I I think wecarry too much stress, but
lifting weights is I love it.
Like I'd much rather do thatthan anything now.
(44:52):
So I've done I've done totaldone a total 180 myself.
Terry Tateossian (44:56):
So yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I love
yoga.
I teach yoga every Wednesday ina local museum, it's 100 and
art museum, actually.
Oh, cool.
Um, I do Pilates as well.
I do cardio every day, butcardio really has a place and
time.
And so if I am in maintenance,my cardio is maybe 15 minutes
(45:17):
tops per day just to get myheart rate up and to have good
cardiovascular health.
I don't necessarily do any morethan that.
If I'm in a season where I'mcutting, which um anybody who
doesn't know what cutting is,it's being on a diet, trying to
drop body weight, body fatspecifically, I'm gonna keep my
muscles.
Thank you.
I just, you know, if I'm tryingto cut body fat, I will do more
(45:39):
cardio, which is what I'm doingcurrently.
I'm looking to cut down on bodyfat.
Steps, obviously, are somethingthat you get throughout the
day.
So just general movementthroughout the day.
You know, all these things, butreally, if I don't anchor my
day with uh the weights,everything else for me seems to
(45:59):
kind of slide down into eh, youknow.
Michele Folan (46:04):
Uh-huh.
No, I know, I know.
And and it's getting it inearly too, which I'm getting
better about, but still work inprogress there.
All right, Terry Tatiosian.
Where can our listeners findyou?
Terry Tateossian (46:19):
You can find me on Instagram.
How good can it get is myhandle, and you can find me on
my website.
It is thehouseofarose.com.
Michele Folan (46:30):
All right, Terry, thank you so much for being
here.
And uh check Terry out.
And if you want to sign up forone of her retreats, oh she's
got she's got some amazinglocations and uh it sounds like
it would be wonderful.
So thank you so much for beinghere today.
Thank you, Michelle.
It was my absolute pleasure.
Thank you for listening.
(46:52):
Please rate and review thepodcast where you listen.
And if you'd like to join theAsking for a Friend community,
click on the link in the shownotes to sign up for my weekly
newsletter where I share midlifewellness and fitness tips,
insights, my favorite finds, andrecipes.
The new year is coming, so let me ask you
something.
Are your goals the same onesyou made last year and maybe the
year before that?
If you're a midlife womannavigating menopause, stubborn
weight gain, bone loss, and lowenergy starting over every
January isn't the problem.
The plan is.
(00:20):
One that needs protein toprotect muscle, strength
training to support bonedensity, and smart nutrition to
keep your metabolism workingwith you, not against you.
Because this isn't aboutlooking good in a dress for one
(00:41):
event.
It's about staying strong,mobile, and independent for
decades to come.
I'm not coaching you for your40s.
I'm coaching you so you're notin a nursing home at 80.
If this is the year you stopchasing skinny and start
building strength for life,welcome to Faster Way.
Check the show notes for moredetails.
(01:03):
Health, wellness, fitness, andeverything in between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
I'm your host, Michelle Folan,and this is Asking for a Friend.
Today's episode goes straightto the core of an issue
(01:26):
affecting more midlife womenthan we realize: loneliness,
disconnection, and the healthconsequences that come with
losing our sense of community.
As we move through our 40s,50s, and 60s, life shifts.
Kids leave home, careersevolve, aging parents need us,
friendships change, and our ownbodies begin a new hormonal
(01:49):
chapter.
Those transitions often leavewomen feeling more isolated than
ever, even when surrounded bypeople.
And the science is clear.
Chronic lonelinesssignificantly increases the risk
of cardiovascular disease,depression, anxiety, and even
early mortality.
That's why today's guest is theperfect voice for this
(02:11):
conversation.
Terry Taddiosian is aHarvard-trained, ISSA certified
personal trainer, nutritionist,emotional eating coach, hormone
specialist, and the founder ofThor, the House of Rose
retreats, where she has helpedhundreds of midlife women
rebuild their health,confidence, and most
(02:31):
importantly, their connections.
Terry's expertise sits at theintersection of community and
healing.
She understands how working outalongside other women boosts
adherence, reduces stress,elevates mood, and brings back
something most of us have beenmissing.
Joy.
Her retreats are known not justfor physical transformation,
(02:53):
but for the deep lastingfriendships women carry home
with them.
Terry Tatiosian, welcome toAsking for a Friend.
Terry Tateossian (03:02):
Michelle, thank you for having me.
It's an absolute pleasure.
Michele Folan (03:06):
Well, I am so happy you're here, and I'm even
happier that I learned how topronounce your last name.
So I'm it's it's a good startto the day.
Terry Tateossian (03:18):
I love it.
Michele Folan (03:19):
You know, and I told you before we started, I
said, you know, I've beenfollowing you for quite some
time, and it was because of yourown personal transformation
that was incredibly powerful.
And I always love to know whatwas the moment, or maybe even
that rock bottom place that yousaid to yourself, something has
(03:43):
to change.
Terry Tateossian (03:44):
Great question.
So there were multiple,multiple rock bottom situations
and events that led me tofinally get my act together.
And let me tell you, it was themost difficult thing I have
ever achieved in my life,despite considering myself to be
(04:06):
very hardworking, fairlyintelligent, and kind of a
little bit of an overachiever.
And um, yeah, that this was oneof the most mysterious uh
journeys of my life.
But I ended up in the hospitaltwice.
So I thought I was having heartattacks at the time.
(04:27):
The first one did not getthrough to me that I was living
in a very unhealthy uh type ofway.
I was uh working 16, 17 hourdays.
I had had two children, one at30, one at 35.
And I was still wearingmaternity clothes at 37, two
(04:48):
years after I had my son, um,because I refused to buy normal
clothes.
And so little by little I justkept gaining more and more
weight.
It um, no matter what how manydiets I tried.
And you know, I've tried overprobably about over 30 different
diets, you know, from keto toAtkins to South Beach to
(05:08):
Fruitarian to carnivore, vegan,don't even get me started on
vegan.
I did that for six months and Ifailed.
Yeah, so it was a lot of trialand error, a lot of struggle.
And um eventually I got braveenough to hire a coach.
And you know, Michelle.
(05:29):
Yes, so Michelle was my firstcoach, yes.
Michele Folan (05:32):
Yeah, so let's explain.
Okay, Michelle McDonald is JoanMcDonald's daughter, and many
of you already know train withJoan.
Joan was also a guest on thepodcast, but the two of them are
really a powerhouse combo.
And um, how lucky for you, Iwill say, that you got to train
(05:54):
with Michelle McDonald because Iknow that's not easy, but you
clearly had some amazingresults.
So I'll let you go ahead andfinish your story.
Well, it's a really funnystory, okay.
Terry Tateossian (06:09):
So this had to be 2016, maybe.
Okay.
I had been yeah, 2016 or 17 orin that time frame, I had
started following Michelle uhbecause I had a friend who did a
competition, and that's and Imean, okay, I'm 210 pounds,
(06:31):
okay.
My dream is to look like afitness model, but I am 50% body
fat, right?
And so I have a and I picturethis, right?
I have a friend who did acompetition and she was showing
me her photos and her footage,and so I went down the rabbit
hole and I looked at the the topcompetitors um for that
(06:53):
competition, and I followedevery single person because I
thought I was gonna get a clueon how to get my act together
and how can I look like that,right?
My vision bored.
And I started followingMichelle, and I probably stalked
her about a year, and in thatuh course of time, she had a
challenge and she said, Hey, I'mdoing a challenge.
(07:14):
Anybody that is interested, uh,here's you know an application.
I'll let you know if you getaccepted.
And I don't know, I don't knowwhat got into me.
Okay.
I was a marshmallow, okay.
I was very overweight and I wasstruggling.
I did not, I was completely outof my league, jumped in the
deep end of the pool.
(07:34):
I filled out the application,and in my mind, I thought to
myself, there's no way in hellI'm getting in.
So forget about it, right?
This is like professional levelstuff, okay?
Yeah.
And she sends me a message,like, you know, uh a week or two
later, like, hey, you know, yougot accepted.
And I was like, what?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
What are you talking about?
Terry Tateossian (07:58):
So I got in.
That's awesome.
I got into her, I got into hercohort.
She had a very uh limited uhspace, and everyone in my cohort
was prof they wereprofessional.
Okay.
They were uh they've been infitness there the majority of
(08:18):
their lives, they competedpreviously.
I didn't know what a dumbbellwas, okay?
That's awesome.
I mean, that's how I startedout with Michelle.
And so she was sent, she wouldgive me my program and it would
say like D B R D L, right?
(08:39):
I mean, now obviously 10 yearslater, I know exactly what that
is.
It's a dumbbell Romaniandeadlift.
But back then, I was like, whatlanguage is this?
Like, like, can somebodytranslate to me what this means?
Because it was so far from myexpertise, right?
So I didn't even know what DBmeant a dumbbell.
(08:59):
I didn't know what macros were.
Okay, so macros to me 10 yearsago was an Excel software
function.
Michele Folan (09:12):
This is so funny, you know, and I and I'm not
laughing at you.
I'm laughing at this situationonly because, you know, I work
with women that are mostly 50,55 plus, and they all think, oh
my gosh, you know, this is sooverwhelming.
The macros, I what do you meanI have to lift weights?
(09:33):
My pink dumbbells are no goodanymore, you know.
And you did it though.
You did it.
You were you were obese and youdid it.
Terry Tateossian (09:42):
You know, there were times Michelle uh
like figuratively was draggingme by the hair through the
process because I failed a lot,right?
So and I and I had a greatcoach and I still failed.
And eventually she realized Iwas and I was like a child,
right?
So I would have a bingingepisode and I would hide it, and
(10:06):
and I would check in and Iwould say, you know, you have to
report, like, you know, whatare your measurements?
How much do you weigh on thescale?
And I would be like, oh, youknow, I gained three pounds
while I'm in a caloric deficitthat has been working before.
All of a sudden I startedgaining weight.
So she would say, Well, whatthe hell's going on?
(10:28):
And I'm like, ah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I I don't know.
I did everything right, andthis is just what's happening,
right?
Terry Tateossian (10:38):
And so eventually she's like, you know,
you you're having likeemotional binging episodes here,
right?
So that there's more here thanjust training in your macros.
You're having a lot ofself-sabotaging behaviors.
And so I kept going back to thedrawing board, back to the
drawing board, trying over andover and over again until I
(10:58):
could get my head straight.
And uh, that's when thingsreally settled in.
Michele Folan (11:03):
So a couple things here.
I think you going through thisprocess yourself has allowed you
great empathy for working withyour own clients.
Terry Tateossian (11:14):
You know, I'm so grateful for that whole
experience because it reallygives me perspective for how
many battles we have to fight aswomen in order to come out the
(11:36):
other side, right?
So things like body dysmorphia,let me tell you.
You're looking at the posterchild here, right?
Things like having to learnthat uh at some point getting
there's a such a thing asgetting too skinny, right?
(11:56):
Learning that there's anaddiction to the number on the
scale, there's a dopamine hit toseeing the scale go down every
week, and then oh my gosh, whathappens when it doesn't, right?
Our identity being tied tothat.
Uh, there is a an anxiety,panic, and depression uh
(12:17):
association to the scale goingup, right?
So there's so there's so muchnuance here that um I went
through myself that I am sograteful for because I had to
learn how to sit in all of theseuncomfortable spaces for an
extended period of time in orderto have things really settle
(12:40):
into me.
Like for me to fully embodythis lifestyle, I spent, I would
say, probably about 90% of itbeing very uncomfortable.
Like uh working with Michelle,I did multiple builds, right?
So I had to intentionally gainweight in order to build muscle.
And the reason why I wentthrough that is because when I
(13:00):
lost 80 pounds, my glutes felldown, right?
There was nothing there.
And so I would ask my coach andsay, Well, what can I do?
What do I need to do?
And she said, You need to do abuild and you need to focus on
training the glutes more.
And so I did that, but I had togain weight, so the the scale
had to go in the oppositedirection, right?
(13:22):
Yeah, and I had to stay there,I had to stay at 150, 155 pounds
for prolonged periods of time.
I couldn't be 125 pounds.
Like I was at the end of my uhweight loss.
Michele Folan (13:35):
Did you find a sweet spot where your weight now
you're where you're comfortableat your age now?
Terry Tateossian (13:42):
So I I find myself to be comfortable
anywhere under 160 pounds.
As soon as I approach 155, Ijust don't feel as energized, I
would say.
Uh, but my body composition isvery different now at 150 pounds
than it was 10 years ago at 150pounds.
(14:04):
And so um generally inmaintenance, I like to be at
150, 155 pounds is where I feelgood, where my hormones are
feeling good.
I have enough energy, I'm notunderweight, I'm not overweight,
I'm just functioning as good asas well as possible.
Michele Folan (14:25):
Yeah, and you know what?
I think this is a greatmessage, Terry, is that we have
to find that sweet spot with ourweight.
And I don't like people to beobsessed with the scale, but
there is so much tied to thatweight on the scale and just
that feeling of well-being thatis so important, our make making
sure our hormones are in check.
(14:47):
And so I think there's alooking at body composition
rather than weight is a muchhealthier way to be.
You agree?
Absolutely, but it's so hard tountangle ourselves from the
scale.
Terry Tateossian (15:02):
Yeah, diet culture.
And so this is something, oh,for sure.
And we're we've beenconditioned, right, for so many
years.
I mean, our whole lives,really, from what I can
remember, is that you had to be,I I had to be 120 pounds, or I
wasn't worth living, you know,it wasn't worth being here at
all.
Like, don't even talk to mebecause I'm just a waste of
(15:22):
space if I'm not 120 pounds.
And so I had to unlearn all ofthat and really understand that
muscle, muscle weighs more thanfat, right?
And body composition trumpseverything.
It matters the most, right?
Because the the scale does notunderstand how much of that
weight is muscle, how much ofthat weight is body fat, your
(15:45):
organs, skin, water, digestion,etc.
Michele Folan (15:50):
So, yeah, absolutely.
Terry, we're gonna take a quickbreak, and when we come back, I
want to talk about the scienceand reality of loneliness.
I want to talk about peptidesfor a moment.
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(16:11):
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(16:54):
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Okay, we are back.
Before we went on break, I toldyou I wanted to talk about the
(17:16):
science and reality ofloneliness.
And I think I read this maybe acouple weeks ago.
We talk about sitting as thenew smoking, but they also talk
about loneliness being the newsmoking for midlife women.
And I'm curious why you thinkthat isolation hits so hard in
(17:37):
this particular season of life.
It's so interesting, right?
Terry Tateossian (17:40):
So if we look back at our roles, most of our
roles as women have been ascaretakers, right?
So either children, agingparents, family, household,
maybe even career, right?
So if we've dedicated our wholelives to our career and we're
(18:04):
reaching retirement age, ourwhole identity is changing,
right?
And so we're approaching ourmidlife, 50, 60 years old, and
these identities no longerapply, right?
Maybe the children have movedout, maybe parents are no longer
(18:26):
around, maybe we're retiring,maybe we got a divorce.
All kinds of things haveshifted around.
And so when we have spent ourwhole lives being the emotional
backbone for everybody else, whois there for us in that period
of time, right?
(18:46):
So we wake up and we go, Well,who's here for me?
Right?
And sometimes, you know, peoplejust assume that because you we
have been the caretaker and theemotional support for them,
that we don't need that, right?
So usually the strongest peoplehave very little support
(19:09):
emotionally because everybodyjust assumes that they they have
it together, they don't theydon't need my help, right?
But that's not really the case.
And so women are conditioned tonot ask for help, not take up
space, just be silent in theirown uh emotional state.
So I feel like in midlife theykind of take center stage a lot
(19:31):
of times.
And you know, we see I see itall the time.
Michele Folan (19:35):
Yeah, we know the data, and women with strong
ties socially tend to livelonger.
But emotionally, what doescommunity do that's so low
health efforts simply cannot?
Terry Tateossian (19:49):
So I I'll tell you from first hand experience,
because I've I literally livethat that is the secret sauce.
So any time, and it doesn'tjust apply to health, it applies
to Business.
It applies to any type of goal,any type of project, any type
of venture or activity orwhatever it may be.
Health is uh where Iexperienced it in the most
(20:12):
dramatic way.
So when you're in a communityor in a group that has the same
goal and intention as you do,all of a sudden you feel like um
you don't have to carry yourshame alone.
Right?
So people sharing their ownstruggle, their own challenges,
(20:34):
their own failures, quoteunquote, right?
Embolden you to say, oh wow,you know, I'm not alone in this.
I don't have to carry the shameon my own.
You can share it with a group.
Uh people winning in the group,people winning in the small pod
of community that you'vejoined.
(20:55):
It gives you more courage andhope, like, oh my gosh, I can do
this too, right?
And so you you become a littlebit more brave.
At the same time, maybe yourpain tolerance increases, right?
Maybe you're seeing as acollective, the whole group
lifting heavy and you know,really working hard on their
(21:18):
macros and uh figuring thingsout.
And you're like, well, youknow, maybe I can do this too.
You know, I don't have to, Idon't have to be afraid of um
going to the gym.
If so-and-so can do it, I cando this too, right?
It gives you a little bit moreuh tolerance to being
uncomfortable.
Yep.
Your motivation goes up, right?
(21:38):
You're seeing people takingaction and moving and doing
things, and you're like, yeah,you know, there's like a
dopamine hit to that, right?
And so uh your oxytocinincreases, right?
Because now you have somebodyto talk to and you have the same
interests and you're doing thesame things, and maybe they they
(21:58):
live on the other side of theworld.
It still doesn't matter.
You have a common bond and youhave that connection, right?
Your dopamine goes up becausenow you start doing new things,
you're learning new things,you're experimenting, you're
doing all this stuff, yourhormones stabilize, right?
So when you're in a connectedtype of situation, you feel like
(22:18):
you have a little bit morepurpose, right?
And it your biology startsrecalibrating.
You just you feel better, youyou feel um less alone, right?
Yeah.
Michele Folan (22:30):
You know, I I have to say this.
I worked out at home for a verylong time.
And then earlier this year, Irejoined the gym.
I had always gone to the gym,and for some reason, I just
decided I was just gonna workout at home.
I've got a lot of equipment inthe basement.
It has been so enjoyable to goto the gym, but not only for my
(22:56):
own purposes, but to approacholder women.
And when I'm saying older, I'msaying 65, 70, 75, and chatting
with these women to find outwhat motivates them because I'm
always so amazed.
You know, they're doing themachines, they're doing weights
and all of that.
And it's really helped me.
(23:17):
Like I look at them and I say,well, gosh, you know, what am I
complaining about?
You know, here's here's thiswoman who's, you know, 15 years
older than I doing, you know,doing all the stuff.
And and so I see where that canbe very motivating and bring,
you know, you can laugh withthese women.
And, you know, I think that'ssomething that we don't get
(23:39):
enough of is that kind ofcommunity.
Um, I don't know these women, Ialways ask their name, but why
do you think that that joy thatyou get in that moment is so
critical for adherence andresults in the long run?
Terry Tateossian (23:55):
Well, it kind of gives you a mirror, you know,
it it reflects back to youparts about yourself that maybe
you are not giving enoughcredit, right?
So you see somebody that's yourage doing, you know, incredible
things in the gym, beingconsistent, and there you are
too, but you're never reallygiving yourself credit for that.
(24:16):
But it's easier to give creditto her because she's doing it,
but then somewhere in your mind,you're like, ah, I'm doing this
too.
So yeah, I'm associated withthis person, and I feel really
good about it, right?
And so it gives you a bit of amirror, it interrupts the shame
spiral a little bit, right?
Because we tend to beatourselves up a lot, you know.
(24:37):
As women, we do it all thetime.
But somehow, when our friend ishaving a challenge, we're a lot
kinder, and somewhere,hopefully, in their mind, it
comes right back to us becausewe give that back to ourselves.
But there's so many, so manyreasons, right?
Like gives you hope.
Like if you see when I seesomebody in in their 80s going
(25:00):
to the gym and doing all thesethings, I'm gonna be 50 next
year.
It makes me really happy.
It makes me really happy thatI'm still showing up for myself
because it's so easy, right?
Like the big five-oh, it's soeasy to get into my head about
it and say, Oh, you'reinsignificant, nobody cares what
the heck you're doing at thispoint.
(25:21):
No, that's not true, right?
Michele Folan (25:24):
Right.
Oh, yeah.
You know, and I spoke to awoman the other day at the gym.
Her name was Carol.
Carol was 68, close to 70.
And she was kind of nursing aknee replacement.
And I said, Well, that'sfantastic, you're here.
She goes, Well, last year I hadboth shoulders replaced.
She's at the gym, you know, andI I love that community.
(25:49):
You know, she was chatting withother people, and and you have
to think that that not onlyhelped her get back to the gym,
but helped with her healingprocess of having that community
around her.
Terry Tateossian (26:01):
Absolutely.
Michele Folan (26:03):
Yeah, yeah.
I just think it's fantasticbecause I think so often we have
those types of major surgeries,and we take we take a few steps
backward.
And that we don't have to dothat.
You have to have something todrive you forward because, you
know, um, it's like getting, youknow, having a broken hip or
something like that.
That can be devastating.
(26:24):
It's it's keeping moving.
So, what motivates you?
And I think what you're sayingis, you know, you lead these
retreats where women form thesefriendships that last long after
the trip.
Talk a little bit about why youstarted these retreats that you
do and what was thatenvironment that you were trying
(26:46):
to build.
Absolutely.
Terry Tateossian (26:48):
So the retreats are kind of like um a
fully immersive experience intothis lifestyle.
And uh, it's five days, fournights.
We do yoga every day,restorative yoga for the
emotional regulation, nervoussystem regulation at night.
We um eat nutritious wholefoods.
(27:10):
We talk a lot about that.
We do have some liftingsessions and plotti sessions,
talk about the benefits ofmuscle and just a full
all-around lifestyle type ofimmersion into this particular
lifestyle because I know howdifficult it is and how
intimidating it can be uhinitially to get started.
Michele Folan (27:34):
So, what themes or struggles do you see come up
repeatedly among midlife womenat your retreats?
Terry Tateossian (27:43):
A lot of the struggles that I I do notice is
just misinformation on what toeat and how to eat.
Specifically, most women areunder-eating protein and
overeating uh fat and carbs.
That's the a lot of what I dosee.
Chronic or under eating isanother one where women are
(28:05):
stuck in a cycle of uh constantdieting.
That's another common thingthat I noticed is being
underweight or overweight.
There's it's one of uh the twousually.
And um, you know, somemisconceptions on hormone health
and things like that.
Uh there's lots of noise outthere right now, and what to do,
(28:28):
and you know, which medicationsto take to lose weight, and
which GLP and which HRT.
It's so there's so much goingon where it's disguising the
natural things you could dobefore uh attempting any of
these other things.
Michele Folan (28:50):
So it sounds like you really stress lifestyle.
So we're we're talking aboutstress reduction, moving our
bodies, and eating whole foods.
So I love that philosophy.
I think that is such a greatplace to start because you and I
both know that without goodlifestyle, HRT and a GLP one
(29:13):
isn't going to help you longterm.
Those are they're they're greathelp, but you've got you've got
to do the the hard work on thefront end.
You agree?
Terry Tateossian (29:23):
Absolutely.
And I'm not saying that theydon't belong uh in the spectrum
of uh ways to manage things, butthere's a time and place for
them and they're for specificpeople.
So uh that's just my ideologyon that.
Michele Folan (29:38):
Yeah, I agree.
Can you share a powerful storyof a woman whose life was
changed as she joined yourcommunity and found herself at
your retreats?
Terry Tateossian (29:49):
Well, uh, I mean, I'll tell you this much.
I I don't want to singleanybody out, but I'll tell you
this much.
So quite a few of my clientshave been to a retreat and then
have become one-on-one coachingclients.
And uh it sometimes it startsthat way and sometimes it goes
in the other direction.
So sometimes women start ascoaching clients and then they
(30:10):
come to retreats.
But generally, what I have uhheard uh directly is that uh
sometimes a catalyst is aretreat, but then what happens?
The real work starts when yougo home, right?
And you go home and you applythese ideas and uh these habits
into your lifestyle and youlearn how to integrate them on a
(30:33):
consistent basis?
That's where the magic reallyhappens.
Michele Folan (30:37):
How do you get women to open up?
Because I would think sometimespeople show up and they may be
a little guarded.
How do you get them feelingsafe enough to really
participate?
It's such a good question.
Am I right though?
Are they do people kind of justlike kind of a little tentative
as they come in?
Terry Tateossian (30:58):
Yes, yes, and so I I might have a unique style
with this where I don't ask alot of questions, I don't really
pry, I just let people be intheir own space.
I don't uh force the schedule,I don't force any particular
(31:20):
activities.
People can choose to interactwith the group or not, and
there's no judgment in that,right?
Uh I I don't have anyexpectations.
Wow, what a great question youjust asked me like that.
I I have no expectations forwhat I expect from the people
(31:45):
that come into a relationship,right?
So sometimes people comebecause they need more space in
their lives, they they feeloverwhelmed at home.
Um, so the last thing I wouldwant to do is uh make them feel
more overwhelmed, right?
Or more noised and chatter.
And sometimes people comebecause they want they want
(32:05):
that, they want entertainmentand stories and jokes and
activities and things like that.
So it's a very different uhtype of vibe for each person.
Uh, but over the course of fivedays, what I hope to achieve is
uh to provide whatever it isthat is needed for each person,
(32:28):
and each person is very unique,and so it's a little bit
difficult to answer, but thereare some groups that are very
similar, and that's where a lotof magic happens, right?
And um, when people synchronizetheir energies, uh we had one
group where we laughed so hardour abs were hurting for five
days.
Michele Folan (32:49):
That's awesome.
Everybody was so funny.
Yeah, that's great though.
Yeah, that's and that makes youalways feel good that people
when people finally feel at easeto open up.
But I totally understand thatsome people come to that needing
that that space and quiet timeto kind of reconnect with
(33:10):
themselves, right?
For women listening that mayfeel isolated, what's the first
smallest step she can take todayto feel less alone?
Terry Tateossian (33:25):
What a good question.
So I'll tell you what I do,right?
So if I start to feel thatfeeling, right?
And it and it's I I mean, thebest way I can describe it is
it's like a mix of grief.
So, what does loneliness reallyfeel like if I had to break it
(33:47):
down from my perspective?
It's like a missing ofsomething, right?
You're missing someone, you'remissing something, you're
grieving, maybe your past life,maybe um your ex-husband, your
(34:08):
children, maybe your divorced,maybe someone passed away,
right?
So there's a a bit of a uhgrief mixed with a fear that I'm
never going to have that everagain, right?
Yep.
And so uh that's I mean, I'venever thought about this.
I just just kind of try todissect it in the moment because
(34:29):
I'm like, what does it tastelike to me and what does it feel
like?
And there's a a bit of ahopelessness in it, right?
So I'm never gonna have thatever again.
So you're grieving whatever youlost, and then you're afraid
that you're never going to feelthat way again, right?
You're never gonna find anotherfriend, you're never gonna be
happy again.
And that to me is loneliness.
(34:50):
So, how how would I go aboutaddressing it?
I would say the grief is nevergonna go away, right?
So that's gonna be there for aslong as it needs to be.
Just feel it, sit with it, tryto remember, you know, the the
good parts of uh having the timewith the situation, the
(35:13):
environment, the place, theperson.
But then think about well, whatcan I do that is so different
from this thing that I'mgrieving, right?
That it's gonna give me a newavenue to pursue, right?
So hey, I've I've never gonerollerblading or whatever,
(35:37):
something that you've alwayswanted to do, that you never had
time to do.
You were too busy with yourfamily, your business, your
friends, your your yourhousehold, your parents,
whatever.
But it's something you alwayswanted to do.
So for me, that was yoga.
Oh, interesting, right?
Uh-huh.
Um, so I I really uh in my 20swhen people would ask me, what
(35:59):
do you want to be in your lifeif you could do anything and you
didn't have to worry about itfinancially?
Uh my answer was always Iwanted to be a yoga teacher at
the beach.
Of course, at the beach.
Yeah.
Don't ask me why.
So I dived into that, right?
And so I made a lot of friendsthrough the learning process of
(36:20):
yoga.
And yoga is philosophical.
There's, you know, uh theasanas are physical.
So there's so many things tolearn in that particular theme.
Uh, that when you startconnecting with other people
that are studying the samething, um, you make friends, and
then little by little you don'tfeel as lonely.
(36:41):
And you also have a purpose,right?
Every morning you wake up, youget up, and you say, okay, how
can I improve my handstand orheadstand or my plank or my down
dog or you know, whatever it isthat those you're working on,
and then you can connect withthe people that you joined in
the cohort or group, or let'ssay it's a lifestyle
(37:04):
transformation group.
It could be your macros, right?
How do I make the best meal andyou know, for my meal number
three, for example?
Or right, whatever it may be,do something new and join a
community where they're doingthe exact same thing on the
exact same timeline.
So they're not ahead of you andthey're not really behind you,
(37:26):
they're in the same spot.
Yeah.
Michele Folan (37:29):
And you know, and I think we can we can translate
this to all kinds of things.
I mean, it's I I've had um anempty nest expert on my show
before, and we talked about, youknow, take the art class.
You know, you've wanted topaint, you know, go go try, you
know, a painting class.
And I think we worry aboutrejection too.
(37:52):
It's like we've already feltsome rejection, and that that
may be part of that lonelinessthat we're feeling, but you
don't know till you try.
And I think by this time, youknow, it's be adventurous, don't
let that that fear of rejectionor not being good enough hold
(38:13):
you back from having newexperiences, because I think
that's so important.
And this is a good segue intomy next question because I think
more and more women are willingto invest in retreats.
And is it burnout, loneliness,identity shifts, or is it
(38:34):
something deeper that you'reseeing?
Terry Tateossian (38:36):
I think what I'm seeing is we're just really
tired.
We're really tired, and we weare caretakers, right?
So 90% of the time we'recaretakers.
So when you go on a retreat,especially ones where everything
is included and somebody'staking care of you for those
(38:59):
five days, you don't have tothink about what am I gonna eat?
What am I gonna cook?
What is so-and-so gonna eat,what am I gonna cook for them,
and all these things, and whatam I gonna do, or what's my
activity?
You don't have to think aboutany of that.
It's already the schedule'salready created.
You can choose the onlydecision you have to make is do
I participate or do I not?
And that's it, right?
(39:21):
And so there's a lot ofdecision-making fatigue that I
am seeing that, and then that'sa common theme.
And and it's doesn't matteryour age, it doesn't matter if
you're 30 or you're, you know,95.
It's the same kind of thing.
And it's a little bit of adifferent type of environment,
(39:41):
right?
So change of scenery, change ofenvironment, change of
activities, and then no, youdon't need to make any
decisions, you just literallyget to focus on yourself.
Um, and I think we're lackingthat across the board, all of
us.
Michele Folan (39:56):
For sure.
And your brand asks, and I lovethis.
Tagline, how good can it get?
So, for women listening, whatdoes good actually look like in
this season of life?
Terry Tateossian (40:09):
Anything you want.
What a great season in life tobe in.
And I joke around about thisall the time.
You can do whatever you want.
Yeah.
Right.
So, like, really, the onlything that is, and and I I know
that I'm gonna get arguments.
Well, financially, I can dowhatever you want.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
You just have to um repositionthe way you think about things,
(40:33):
right?
And you have to um try and seeor find, be resourceful, right?
So find ways to make thingshappen uh in a way that you you
can afford to do them, you havethe time to do them, you're
willing to do them.
It's an amazing part of life.
We have more resources in our50s, 60s, and 70s.
(40:56):
We have more time available.
Uh, we can join travel groups,right?
So that's another uh thing Inotice a lot.
You know, we don't want totravel alone, but there's so
many ways to go with a group orin a group where you're not
alone, where other people aretraveling solo as well.
Um, we can choose to have justextraordinary experiences and
(41:19):
see the world, yeah.
Um make new friends.
If if you're into traveling,you can sign up for a safari in
in somewhere in Africa and go.
Michele Folan (41:30):
Yeah.
And and and you know, but Ithink you there's there are
things that we can do in ourbackyard as well.
And but I think it's justsaying yes, say yes to yourself
and go and do the thing.
Because how wonderful andgratifying it is to stretch
yourself a little bit and beadventurous, you know.
(41:51):
It's like I think sometimes,Terry, we forget that
adventurous side that we have.
You know, we we we wereadventurous at eight.
We were adventurous maybe evenat 12.
At what point did we stop, youknow, having that lust for
adventure?
And uh I love I love that youdo these retreats.
Speaking of retreats, I waslooking at your 2026 schedule.
(42:15):
Oh my lord, please tell mylisteners um some of the retreat
locations that you have comingup.
Terry Tateossian (42:25):
Yeah, so we have, I think maybe 15 uh dates
in the Smoky Mountains in 2026,right on top of a mountain hill,
mountaintop, uh 50 acres ofnatural turkey forest land.
Uh nothing around, you'reliterally in nature.
So I think there's 15, 16 datesfor that.
(42:46):
Then we have two retreats inthe south of France.
Um, one is in April, one is inuh September, and then we have
one in Sedona in June.
And they all include hiking,they all include yoga.
Uh, some of them include evengym passes uh to the local gyms
(43:08):
to lift weights and get a goodworkout in.
And yeah, there it I'm excited.
I'm so excited.
I cannot wait.
Michele Folan (43:16):
Yeah, you've got a big year ahead of you.
I was really impressed.
I want to ask you a personalquestion.
What is one of your dailynon-negotiables?
What's something you do everyday for yourself?
Terry Tateossian (43:28):
Oh, yeah, I have to lift weights.
Okay.
That's a non-negotiable thing.
Yeah.
And that doesn't mean going tothe gyms.
Uh, I over the years, so it'sbeen over 10 years, I have built
out a gym uh in my house uh inin New Jersey.
There's also a gym in Tennesseeas well.
And so you really all you needis dumbbells, uh, maybe a cable
(43:51):
machine and a barbell and abench.
And so uh it's a non-negotiablethat happens every day.
Uh maybe there's one rest dayhere and there, but I really
enjoy it.
It makes me feel good mentally,not just physically.
And so that is uh the one thingI will not give up.
Michele Folan (44:10):
Oh, and I love hearing you say that because
that that is probably one of thehardest things for my more
mature clients to embrace islifting weights.
And it's because we come fromthat cardio mentality that it
was all about the burn of thecardio and not necessarily the
(44:30):
importance of lifting heavy.
So thanks for thanks for sayingthat.
I usually I get a lot of peoplelike sleep and yoga meditation,
that you know, that stuff, andwhich I think is all super
important because I I think wecarry too much stress, but
lifting weights is I love it.
Like I'd much rather do thatthan anything now.
(44:52):
So I've done I've done totaldone a total 180 myself.
Terry Tateossian (44:56):
So yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I love
yoga.
I teach yoga every Wednesday ina local museum, it's 100 and
art museum, actually.
Oh, cool.
Um, I do Pilates as well.
I do cardio every day, butcardio really has a place and
time.
And so if I am in maintenance,my cardio is maybe 15 minutes
(45:17):
tops per day just to get myheart rate up and to have good
cardiovascular health.
I don't necessarily do any morethan that.
If I'm in a season where I'mcutting, which um anybody who
doesn't know what cutting is,it's being on a diet, trying to
drop body weight, body fatspecifically, I'm gonna keep my
muscles.
Thank you.
I just, you know, if I'm tryingto cut body fat, I will do more
(45:39):
cardio, which is what I'm doingcurrently.
I'm looking to cut down on bodyfat.
Steps, obviously, are somethingthat you get throughout the
day.
So just general movementthroughout the day.
You know, all these things, butreally, if I don't anchor my
day with uh the weights,everything else for me seems to
(45:59):
kind of slide down into eh, youknow.
Michele Folan (46:04):
Uh-huh.
No, I know, I know.
And and it's getting it inearly too, which I'm getting
better about, but still work inprogress there.
All right, Terry Tatiosian.
Where can our listeners findyou?
Terry Tateossian (46:19):
You can find me on Instagram.
How good can it get is myhandle, and you can find me on
my website.
It is thehouseofarose.com.
Michele Folan (46:30):
All right, Terry, thank you so much for being
here.
And uh check Terry out.
And if you want to sign up forone of her retreats, oh she's
got she's got some amazinglocations and uh it sounds like
it would be wonderful.
So thank you so much for beinghere today.
Thank you, Michelle.
It was my absolute pleasure.
Thank you for listening.
(46:52):
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