Two Polite Porcupines: Marie Antoinette

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
oh, hey there, oh hey there.
This is our third time starting.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
This is our third take on starting the episode on
the oh hey there's.
We had some technicaldifficulties, so hi kate hi how
are you today?

Speaker 1 (00:31):
I'm I'm good.
Who are we?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
kate and bradley or the history buffoons.
Let's go with that one anyways.
How are you today?

Speaker 1 (00:42):
I'm doing well.
We had a nice like littlethunderstorm come through, which
is always pleasant yeah, thatwas uh short.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
It was very short, it was very short.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
I love thunderstorms that's my sound machine at night
it is.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
You've told me that we had a storm come through
yesterday too, and we got abunch of hail for what may
mid-may?
Mid-may, mid-may and um theides of may wait I think that's
march well, that's caesar, we'retalking about us anyways.
Um, my kids were super excitedbecause sarah went out and

(01:20):
grabbed a couple of the.
I sent you the picture the bigchunks of hail, literally.
One was almost the size of amandarin orange.
What are they?

Speaker 1 (01:30):
called the cuties.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yes, it was big, it was huge.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Did any of your vehicles get damaged?

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yeah, we got some dents, so it's what it is, but
anyways, I found a new dent onmy car this morning, another one
, yep, come on, really yep.
What is it?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
it looks like like a more broad type of like dent.
Oh really, not a pinprick likemy first one that I had earlier
this month someone literallylike opened their door into you.
Yeah it this month someoneliterally like opened their door
into you yeah, it looked likesomeone put like a pen on my
door and then just like stamped.
That's what my first one lookedlike.
This one was a lot more broadand like this big, so it was

(02:16):
kind of hard.
You didn't really notice it,except for like the shadow
effect.
I, I guess, sure.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Either way.
How was your week?

Speaker 1 (02:26):
It was really long.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Oh, my God, oh my.
God it was so long.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
This is so long.
Why was this week so long?

Speaker 1 (02:35):
I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
I feel like it's been a year since we've done this.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
I did get a new job.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Congratulations.
I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Yes, it is at a chiropractic office.
Yeah, which is exciting.
I don't start until June End ofJune yeah.
Yeah, because they're going onvacation and I'm going on
vacation, so I'm transitioningout of the place that I'm
currently working as an employeeand moving to this chiropractic
office as an employee as well.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
I'm excited for you because you get to like kind of
curate your own kind of systemif you will.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, I get to create my own menu.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, yeah, which is super cool.
So I'm super proud of you andexcited for you, so
congratulations on the newendeavor, so I'm excited for you
too.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, yes, beer or story first.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Beer.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, good.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Because I still have to tell you something.
I've been waiting on, I know.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
That's why I was like do you want to tell the story
first?
Because you've been waiting.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
So a little context.
We have had Toppling Goliath onour episodes before.
Was that, oh boy?
Two weeks ago we went to ourfavorite bar, the Brown Bear.
Dano, one of our favoritebartenders was working.
I well, normally we both alwaysorder the pseudo-sue from

(04:00):
Topping Goliath.
Hey man, I just got this newone in from them.
Normally, we both always orderthe pseudo-sue from Topping
Goliath.
Hey man, I just got this newone in from them.
It's called did you show thepicture?
The Summer Sue.
It's a citrus ale and he's likeand Sue, the dinosaur, is on it
.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Oh yeah, he's in Chicago.
She is in Chicago.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
So he poured us each a sample of it.
I'm like that is fucking good.
But we only had a sample.
So I went and looked forpodcast beers for today and I
came across the Six Pack.
So we have full-blown 12-ouncecans Okay.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
So this is from Toppling Goliath Brewing Company
and it is brewed in beautifulDecorah.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Iowa.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
It literally says brewed in beautiful.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
They would do that.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
I'm a Nebraska fan and we were always, you know,
against Iowa.
But anyways, A refreshingcitrus ale brimming with sweet
tropical notes that are perfectfor warm afternoons.
Aromas of bright citrus bring avibrant pop to this summertime
ale how was it?

Speaker 2 (05:14):
It's good.
It could be colder.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Always.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
I thought I had it pretty cold.
I brought it up from where Ilive.
I had ice on it.
We put it in the fridge for abit.
I thought it'd be colder.
It's good though it's, becauseso obviously anyone who's
listened to us past the firstfive seconds knows we try
beverages.
Pseudo sue is a very ipa beer.

(05:43):
It's a pale ale.
This is a citrus ale, so alittle bit different.
Um again, this is literally thesecond time we've had this in
our life and we only had asample for the first one.
It's good quite different.
It's really fucking good.
It's quite different from theirnormal what we have.
Basically.
So thanks, dano, for uh, yeah,thanks, dano for the sample and

(06:07):
um, I saw this and I'm likewe're gonna have that so they
have toppling and toppling.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Goliath has the pseudo sue, and then they have
king sue, which is a hazy ipa sothis is summer, sue, I think.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yes, I think King Sue is a hazy double.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
It is pretty strong.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
It is strong.
I love that one so much it's sogood.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
But anyways, oh, what's the.
The ABV 5.2 is all, oh, that'snot bad, I don't, I guess.
I don't remember what pseudo is, so either way, so you have a
story and I've been waiting tohear it all day.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
It's not a long story , it's quite funny.
So, as you know, I work prettyearly in the morning.
Yes, I get a phone call fromthe wife.
I'm like what's going on?

Speaker 1 (07:01):
What time of day?
Early morning, I'm assuming.
But like what time?

Speaker 2 (07:05):
This was like at 7.10 this morning.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
This morning Okay, this morning Okay.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Hey, I'm like what's up?
Vesper wanted to call you.
I'm like oh okay, oh my God.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Shut off your fucking alarm.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
I can't do it with my phone.
It should be off.
I hit fucking mute.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Is it coming from the computer?
Yes, technical difficulties.
Okay, that's good.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Hey girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Okay, here we go.
Okay, yes, so Vesper wanted totalk to you.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
So Vesper wanted Mama to to you.
So Vesper wanted mama to callme.
And she goes hey, vesper wantedme to call you.
I'm like, okay, which is again.
She's two fucking years old.
She's so cute and it's funny,cause I'll try and talk to my
son on the phone, who is nearlyseven, a few months more, but

(08:06):
nearly seven Barely can get anymore than a meh out of him.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, that's how I look at meh.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
You've heard him before, so you know Vesper gets
on the phone.
Hi Daddy, I can hear her like.
It's like holy fuck.
She's like in the room with me.
It was amazing, because I'mjust so used to xavier being
like yeah, just kind of shy andhe doesn't.
I don't know how she's socomfortable on the phone,
because he's not at all, whichhe doesn't use the phone a lot

(08:38):
because.
But neither does she, neitherdoes she anyways.
So she goes.
Dad, I peed on the potty, likeoh, good job, sweetheart.
I peed yellow, like yeah,that's that's the right color

(08:58):
and she's like good job,sweetheart, yeah.
And then I hear Sarah in thebackground tell daddy what you
got for your, because she gets apotty treat.
Mm-hmm, what did you get?
I got a yellow M&M.
Huh, all right, awesome.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
That's so adorable.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
And then she's like all right, let's let Daddy get
back to work.
I love you, Daddy.
It was so cute, so Mer.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
Mer daddy, it was so cute.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
So it was just, it was just super cute because she
she's two, but I I couldunderstand her.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
She has my heart, oh she, she loves auntie kate, so I
love xavier too.
I.
I love your kids so much butvesper is yours she's my little
buddy.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
She really is, and she loves you so much yeah, it's
so funny because, like shealways asks where's auntie kate?

Speaker 1 (09:51):
she always said is she taking care of her kitties?

Speaker 2 (09:53):
yeah, I'm taking care of my kitties so for a brief
context, a lot of times katewill come down to record an
episode with me at my house, andobviously we do it at her place
too.
Um, when she leaves, vess waslike where's Kate?
I'm like, well, she had to gohome and take care of the
kitties.

(10:13):
So ever since I first said that, which was like a fucking year
ago probably, it's been a while.
Whether it was a year, itdoesn't matter.
And so every time she asked oh,she's at home.
She had to take care of thekitties.
Yep, that's what she's doing.
No matter what you're doing,you're taking care of the
kitties.
That's so fucking cute it'sjust so cute.

(10:36):
I love it.
She's such a sweetheart.
And then go ahead.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Oh, I was going to say, and if you're tuning in for
like the first time, at thevery, very end of our episodes
we talk about social medias andstuff.
Yep, yep, yep.
The very, very, very, very,very end is Vesper.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
So she's the one who says stop it, stop it, stop it.
And the funny thing is, so she.
So I call her two.
She's going to be three inAugust.
So I call her two.
She's going to be three inAugust.
That video was recorded not toofar after she was one.
Yeah, she talks a lot, a lot.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
It's great.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
I love it.
I absolutely love it.
Can't always understand her.
We just got rid of her pacifiernot that long ago.
Thank God that's been helpful.
But, holy fuck, she talks a lotand she's been talking for a
long time because again, end ofour episode.
We do our little spiel and it'sstop.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
It is vesper, so it's so cute she was talking to the
dog because the dog was whiningand she's like stop, stop it.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
So she was emulating daddy at the time.
She, because I miss my dog, Ido.
He passed away last September.
Well, we put him down, whatever, but he was a good boy.
But he also was the bait of myexistence and she's like well,

(12:08):
daddy doesn't like when he makesthat noise.
I'm going to tell him to stoptoo.
And Sarah happened to get avideo of it and then I ripped
the audio from it.
So I'm like, and Kate's like,that'd be a great ending to it,
to our podcast.
I'm like, let's do it.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
If you can hear what's going on.
Right now it's thunderingoutside, Aw, but it was so nice.
But I understand he shut thewindow.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
From the window To the walls.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
We don't need all that stuff.
Great story time.
I love your kids.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
I know and they miss you and they say hello, hello,
oh, okay.
So I learned something.
Oh, my Fucking god, that camefrom the doves Of hell.
Holy shit, are you okay?
Fucking God, that came from thedoves Of hell.

(13:09):
Holy shit, are you okay?
Do you need my assistance?
That's a Super Troopersreference and I say it to her
all the time and she's like Doyou need my?

Speaker 1 (13:18):
assistance Forva Anyways.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
So I learned something this week.
Okay, I have to share with you.
Please share, anyways.
So I learned something thisweek.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
I have to share with you.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Please share.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
You like the band, at least the song from the band,
toto.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Africa.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
I love the song Africa.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
Do you want to know what I learned?

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Tell me, it makes absolute no sense.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
None.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
None.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
It came after that song.
That song came out in 1982.
Tell me, it makes absolute nosense, none, none.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
It came after that song.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
That song came out in 1982.
Okay, in 1986.
Do you know, one year old,potentially, potentially.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
I mean it could have been.
I could have been a month old.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Or a year old Wait.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
I'm a year old.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
You said 86, not 85.
I literally did.
I don't math people Well at all.
That's why I'm here.
It does all of our stats.
Anywho, 86.
You like the France?
Wow, I mixed up words together.
You like the France?
Wow, I mixed up words together.
You like the song Africa?

Speaker 1 (14:29):
By Toto.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
By Toto yes, which came out in 1982.
Two, I was three, you were anegative three, do you know?
Again, not for that song.
He came in 1986.
Again, not for that song, hecame in 1986.
Do you know who the singer'sdad when?

Speaker 1 (14:54):
he joined the band in 1986, that singer's dad is.
I only know of the song.
I know nothing about the band.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
That's fine.
John fucking Williams.
Huh, Do you not know who thatis?
Who?

Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah he's a famous composer for a lot of movies.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
And name some movies.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Okay, jurassic Park, star Wars, Jaws, yep Jaws, some
people say yaws, uh.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Indiana jones yes, yes, oh, yeah, he's, yeah, he's
very famous, multiple, multiplemultiple fucking.
Oh yeah, he's god, he's so godhis son joined the band toto in
1986.
I never fucking knew that.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Interesting, but it was after Toto came out or after
Africa came out.
There it is.
It was after Africa came out.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
I don't know, what got me into Africa, but it's
chef's kiss, no, and that's fine.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
You can never do that again, that'd be fine.
Kidding I.
Chef's kiss, no, and that'sfine.
You can never do that again,that'd be fine.
Um, kidding I.
I heard that and I'm like areyou fucking kidding me?
As I I looked into it because Iknew you liked that song and so
then I looked it's like hejoined the band in 1986.
Like when did africa come up?

(16:22):
Because I know you like thatsong.
It was after the fact.
I honestly don't know who theoriginal singer is, but I
thought I have to shit.
I've been saving this for daysTo do this on the podcast.
I just happened this morning Ipeed yellow.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
He's been waiting all day to tell me he's been
waiting all day to tell me.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
I've been waiting all day to tell Kate because it was
super cute and gross, buteither way, kids two years.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
It's the bubbles man.
It's the bubbles, the bubbles,I guess.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
I'm done.
Anyways, I've been waiting formultiple days to tell Kate that
I learned that the singer ofToto from 1986, if I remember
reading right.
I don't remember exactly theyears.
Holy fuck, I'm so sorry.

(17:21):
Are you though?

Speaker 1 (17:22):
Yeah, he was from then I'm just giving you more
ammo, sorry.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
I won't talk anymore.
So do you have a question forme?
No, tell me, from 1986, he wasfrom 86 to I don't remember what
year, I apologize and thenthere was a gap and then he
rejoined the band or whatever itwas.
I had no idea.
That's literally John Williamsfucking kid.
Yeah, that's literally johnwilliams fucking kid.
Yeah, that's so cool who is uh,an amazing composer for huge,

(17:51):
huge, fucking movies.
Huge hits, huge hits, I meanstar wars alone oh man, he's
gonna be missed when he passesaway because he's on the older
side, I think he's early 90s,even if I'm not mistaken.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
I could be wrong, but he's so amazing.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
He's early 90s even.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
If I'm not mistaken, he's so great.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
He's so amazing, he's so talented.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
I like Hans Zimmerman too.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
I love me some Hans Zimmerman, he's fucking great.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
And then there's one other composer that's really
great in movies, and I'm drawinga blank, I'm drawing a blank,
I'm drawing a blank, um,unfortunately, but there.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
It's funny because I mentioned a previous co-worker
to you earlier and she's a bigfan of the composer I'm trying
to think of oh no oh my god,what the fuck is his name?
Now, it's irritating me.
I can't think of it.
I'd look at my phone, but it'srecording me.
Um, it's okay, oh damn it, Ican't think of it.
I'd look at my phone, but it'srecording me, it's okay, ah,

(18:48):
damn it, I can't think of it, itdoesn't matter Either way.
There's a few composers.
I mean there's a lot of goodcomposers, but there's a couple
that just stand out, and to meit's John Williams, because I
grew up on Star Wars.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
Jurassic Park.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
So good, so so amazing.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Who did?

Speaker 2 (19:11):
was it Hans Zimmer that did Pirates of the
Caribbean.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Might have been Zimmerman.
Might have been Hans Zimmerman.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
That might have been?

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Did he also do Van Helsing?
I don't know where mytelepahone is, but Telepahone it
doesn't matter, we are hey, doyou have a question for me?
We, it doesn't matter.
Do you have a question for me?
We're on a fucking tangent.
No, because this is a longbuild up, so we're just going to
go into the story.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
I really wanted to share those two things with you
today.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
I love the story, so I'm just going to avoid the
question and we'll just getright into it let's do it let's
do it, cheers, cheers to summer,sue.
Thanks Dano.
Right into it, let's do it.
Let's do it, let's do it.
Cheers, cheers to Summer, sue.
Thanks Dano.
I should do a story on Sue,that'd be, great, let's go down

(19:55):
to the.
Field Museum in Chicago.
I think it's the Field Museum,that's where it is.
They have Sue the dinosaur.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
If you have a pseudo-Sue it says in
association with or whatever itsays, field Museum on the can
for a pseudo-Sue.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
This one does too.
Oh, there it is Field Museum.
Look at that.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I didn't turn the can .

Speaker 1 (20:23):
Sorry, actually Sue's origin story, not origin story.
Sue's discovery story isactually pretty significant.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, it's huge.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Yeah, there's a documentary, I believe, on
Netflix at one point.
I don't know if it's stillthere.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Dinosaur 21 or Dinosaur, and then a number I
don't know if it's still thereDinosaur 21 or Dinosaur, and
then a number I don't recall.
This is just off my memory, soit's all wrong.
Potentially.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
No.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Anyway, not potentially.
It's a great documentary if youcan find it.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, dinosaur and then a number, dinosaur number.
I think it's called DinosaurNumber Hashtag.
We used to call that a poundsign.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
We sure did.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Fuck me up.
We sure did.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
Oh, remember those analog phones.
Anyway, okay, okay, I'm gonnatry.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Do you remember rotary phones?
Yes, I loved going to mygrandma's apartment and she had
a rotary phone.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
I'm like I gotta dial my mom Anyway going to my
grandma's apartment and she hada rotary phone.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
I'm like I got to dial my mom Anyway.
So you don't have a questionfor me.
No, let's get into it 1770.
That's a long time ago 1770.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
I was four, 14 year old.
Oh shit, marie Antoinette.
Oh, let him eat cake Of Austria.
Yeah, shows up at Versailles.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Sure fucking does.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
To marry the future.
Louis XVI Fucking ain't right.
She was bright-eyed,bushy-tailed Absolutely, you've
heard that before right.
Is that an idiom?
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?
Absolutely, you've heard shewas.
Is that an idiom?
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?
Yeah, yeah, you should rememberthat I won't it's funny, the
last episode you like.

(22:12):
Read all these down, I'm like,yep, haven't done it yet maybe
somebody out there will email usbe like these are the three
that you mentioned okay, I thinkwe had more than three.
Working on it.
She was young, but she wassuper enthusiastic.
She was very bright, she likedcake.
I'll get to that.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
Okay, good, I will get to that.
I will leave it be for now,then.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
And the French public , public, public.
I've already had a couple todrink today.
I had a two hour nap.
I wasn't there for it, butapparently Nathan said I was
snoring.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
You were.
I came over to record Kate'snapping, so that was fun.
I'm just chatting with Nathan.
What's up, dude?
We're chatting about whatever.
Is that snoring?
Is Kate sleeping, I think so.
I thought I heard snoring.
Yeah, you probably did.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
I love naps okay naps are your second favorite thing
to sleeping naps are better thansleeping let's move on the
french public loved her yes,they did yes very much, so yes,
during a 1773 visit to paris.

(23:37):
So versailles is about 20 milesaway from paris.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
Oh it's not that far.
No, okay, I guess I neverrealized I was that close.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
Same Until this research.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
Well, good for you.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
During a visit to Paris, she gushed to her mother
through letters.
She wrote a lot of letters toher mother.
Okay, she said, quote the poorpeople, despite their taxes.
So poor were transported withjoy, despite their taxes, were
transported with joy at seeingus.
Aka, I'm so happy you saw me.

(24:11):
That's how I took that.
I'm so happy you got to see me.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
You're better for seeing me.
Yeah, that's how I Wow, is thatreally how she thought?

Speaker 1 (24:24):
No, that's just how I interpreted that.
The poor people, despite theirtaxes, were transported with joy
at seeing us.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Were they transported or transfixed?
Transported, I like transfixed.
Sure, yeah, we're going to editthat in Trans.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
Okay, but the vibe shifted fairly quickly.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, that's the thing with Marie.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Antoinette.
Antoinette, that's a meat cake,so court life was like high
school oh so shitty.
It was full of fucking gossip.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Yeah, because that's like I said shitty.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
And powdered wigs, just like my high school.
That was my high school too.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Oh my God, there was like powdered wigs, just like my
high school.
That was my high school too.
Oh my god, there was likepowdered wigs everywhere.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Left and right, everywhere, and there was like
zero privacy.
Marie Antoinette had like zeroprivacy for anything.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
I just thought you meant they didn't have doors in
your bathroom.
Every morning, every morningshe didn't have privacy.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
She had to get dressed in front of a crowd.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
How many people?

Speaker 1 (25:26):
She said, quote I put on my rouge, which is blush.
I put on my rouge, yes, and Iwashed my hands in front of the
whole world End quote, butthat's not accurate.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
But you know her world.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
One time she stood half naked and shivering while
one of her handmaids actually acouple handmaids debated who had
the right to hand her a sleevedid you get this from her
handmaid's tale?

Speaker 2 (25:58):
no all right, sorry, I couldn't resist Sorry.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
Another summer, sue.
But she and she wasn't evenqueen yet and they were all like
already arguing like, oh my God, who can like, actually like,
give her a sleeve.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
How long was she in courtship or whatever you want
to call it with Louis?
Was it a while, or was itpretty brief?

Speaker 1 (26:22):
It was brief.
Okay, it was very brief.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
I guess I never really knew, so I was just
curious if that came across anyof your stuff.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
It was pretty brief.
Okay, yes, fair enough.
So she missed Vienna, which iswhere she lived.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
I miss Vienna too.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
She had a pug Really Named Mops Mops.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
That's so cute.
I know I want a pug, babe.
I really don't.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
And the court that she was like walking into was
really hostile.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Why.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
Well, so wait.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
She was from where?

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Austria, vienna, austria, okay, and she married
into the French.
The French, yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
Well, that tracks, yeah, into the French.
The French, yes, yeah.
Well that tracks.
I mean because, like alliancesand shit, keep doing that People
don't know.
I'm sorry, I am in a goofyfucking mood, so I am probably
going to say dumb shit.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
Well, your daughter's pee was yellow, so what?

Speaker 2 (27:25):
I'm just your daughter's pee was yellow, so
what?

Speaker 1 (27:27):
I'm just kidding, Okay so.

Speaker 2 (27:29):
Her pee was yellow.
Daddy, I peed in the potty, itwas yellow.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
So okay.
Great sweetie Louis XV'smistress was named Madame du
Barry.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Madame du Barry.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
And she had the king's ear on everything.
Not even the wife did, but themistresses always had the king's
ear Because they're betting theking right, they're in a
vulnerable position and they areable to persuade the king on
lots of stuff.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Well, that's why, because the king was probably
betting them and not the queen.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
And Madame du Barry was not exactly warm to Marie
Antoinette.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
I've seen man in an Iron Mask.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
What's that about?
I've seen it a long time ago.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
Do you remember who's in it?

Speaker 1 (28:18):
Leonardo DiCaprio.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Leonardo DiCaprio.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Sorry, am I drooling?

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Could you get a fucking towel shit.
I'm gonna have to clean hermicrophones after this one.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
Anyways, continue, okay I was joking around, but
clearly she was not she wouldcall motor antoinette the
austrian, like it was some kindof slur.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Isn't it funny that it's like thanks for noticing my
heritage, but you're using itas a slur?

Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yes, she was Fuck you , they did not get along Okay so
you don't say MarieAntoinette's mother Empress
Maria Teresa.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
Teresa Mm-hmm.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
What was she empress of, she was a Habsburg.
Was she really?
She was no shit.
Yes, Okay, she had veryCatholic views and she raised
Marie to see royal mistresseslike Madame du Barry as immoral
parasites.
Well, yeah, because A bug to besquished, if you will.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
She was basically having her look out for herself
because these people are goingto pop up, because that was the
lifestyle for them, and she'slike no, no, no, you're the
queen, or whatever.
At that point, these are, likeyou said, parasites.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yes, and Marie refused to speak to her, to her
mom, no, to Madame du Barry themistress, oh the mistress.
Yes, she refused to speak toher.
Yes, yes, I'm sorry the courtwas buzzing.
Du Barry was furious.
Louis XV was an amuse.
Blah, blah, blah.
How'd that go?

(30:08):
Duberry was furious.
Louis the 15th was an amused.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
I'm using that as a short, that too, but to avoid an
incident in public.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Marie antoinette finally went up to Madame du
Barry and said painfullyawkwardly Let me kick.
There are a lot of people atVersailles today.
And that comes straight down,AKA Nice weather we're having
right.
That's what that felt like.
Nice weather we're having.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
That was the olive branch.
There's a lot of people atVersailles.
That was the olive branch.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
There's a lot of people at Versailles today and
that worked.
It was an olive branch, that'sall that matters.
I fucking hate olives yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
And their branches.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
But hovering over Maria and Louis XV, the King,
and Madame de Berry, and blah,blah, blah, blah, empress Maria
Theresa, okay, she is the onlyfemale ruler of the Habsburg
Dominions.
Marie, yes, okay, no, no, no,no, no.

(31:19):
Her mother, oh, her mother, hermother, okay, maria Theresa,
there's a lot of Marias, so many.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Yeah, her mother, maria Teresa, there's a lot of
Marias.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
So many?
Yeah, maria Teresa is thefemale ruler of the Habsburg
Dominions.
She ruled for over 20 years.
Holy shit, really.
Yes.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
She was mom to 15 or 16, depending on the resources
Can you say it that way again.
She was mom to 15 or 16children.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
15 or 16, depending on the resources.
Can you say it that way?
Again, she?
Was mom to 15 or 16 children,15 or 16.
There it is, so some research.
I read Holy shit, that's a lotof fucking kids.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Some research I read said that Marie Antoinette was
the last child.
Oh really, so number 16.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Would be Marie.
Oh, really, so number 16.
Would be.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Marie, but they also called her number 15.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
How come Did you see?

Speaker 1 (32:12):
anything, because then they've also called her the
second to last child.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Which would make sense if she was 15.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, so she's either 15 or 16.
Unclear, unclear.
Unclear okay, unclear, and Ididn't care enough to like deep
dive.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
I can tell by your body language.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
Yeah, okay, but Anne she was.
And Mother Teresa, motherTeresa, maria Teresa, the
Empress of the Habsburg.
She was also a big believer intough love.
Tough love, yes, Okay.
She once described MarieAntoinette as A super douche.

(32:51):
Quote the most beautiful andthe least clever of my children,
Wow.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
What a douchey mom.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Seriously yes, and actually it's true, mom,
seriously yes, and actually it'strue, marie Antoinette was not
a very bright.
She's bright, but she wasn'tthe smartest child.
But she did really really wellin the arts.
She was a great singer, sheplayed the harp, she danced.
But as far as history,mathematics, arithmetic,

(33:26):
whatever you want to call, itOkay.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
so you know, I'm very good at math.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
I know I'm really bad at it.
I'm so glad you're better.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Kind of just brought me down a peg by saying how bad
you are, because maybe I'm notthat good.
You know, I'm very good at math.
Yeah, I play the drums whichyou use, both sides of the brain
.
I think a yeah, I play thedrums which you use both sides
of the brain.
Thank God I got those backfinally, but it's when am I
going here?
It's funny because like for herto say that about her daughter,

(33:58):
it's like she's not verytalented.
She's beautiful but not smart.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Right and I'm not smart's beautiful, but not smart
.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
Right, and I'm not smart or beautiful, but it's
like I can do these things.
It's like it'd be shooting medown for saying you can't do
those.
I'm like, oh yeah, I can.
It's just funny that likeobviously different times,
because what year are we talkingabout again?
1770-ish Give or take right.

(34:29):
Yeah, it's like my daughter'sstupid.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
Yeah, that's basically what she said.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
Basically, it's like why in God's name would you say
that about your fucking daughter?
It doesn't matter.
If you think it, look at thetime frame.
Why would you say that aboutyour fucking daughter?
It doesn't matter if you thinkit.
Look at the time frame.
Why would you say?

Speaker 1 (34:49):
that you really don't have to say that out loud, no,
just keep it to yourself, justliterally like special.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
So Maria Teresa the mother she micromanaged Marie
Antoinette by mail, by mail.
Oh yeah, lots of letters.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
So where did Teresa live?

Speaker 1 (35:09):
She lived in Austria.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
And Antoinette was in France at this time.
Okay, I gotcha.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
So she said by mail be dignified, be serious, be
pregnant.
So she was After.
After Louis and Marie Louis Gotmarried in France, France, they

(35:41):
didn't consummate theirmarriage for seven.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Minutes Years, years.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Seven years.
They didn't touch each otherfor seven years.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Did they not find each other?

Speaker 1 (35:55):
attractive.
You know why he was literally15 when she was 14.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
Oh, I did not know they were that young.
They were young.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
Okay, yeah, that makes more sense.
So louis was also really shy,he was awkward, and so was this
more of an arranged marriage.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
It was an arranged marriage for the habsburgs oh, I
never knew that well that.
So they didn't really well,lack of a better term.
Fuck, until they were.
He was what 22 and she was 21?

Speaker 1 (36:28):
22 and she was 21.
Yeah, oh, wow.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
I never knew that.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
He also potentially had a medical issue which made
sex really uncomfortable for him.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
And what was that?
I was trying to formulate it inmy brain, but then I'm like I'm
just going to ask I don't thinkI wrote it down, but there is a
word for it.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
But it's basically meaning that when he has sex,
it's actually pretty painful,really.
Yeah, phyllism or something.
P-h-i-l-s-m.
Phyllism, something like that.
I believe in you, but Mariadescribed him as kind.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
But clumsy Okay, and their chemistry was a lot more
friendly than steamy.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
So they were more or less it was an arranged marriage
more or less friends thanpartners.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Yeah, like he fell asleep on their wedding night,
Like she was anticipating beingbedded, essentially Right, and
she was like so how are you?
And he was like I mean nevermind, but eventually Maria's
brother, older brother, they're16 children, potentially 15 or

(37:47):
16 children, Maria's brother.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
So many fucking children, oh my God, so many
fucking children, holy shit.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Brother, emperor Joseph II.
What was he?
The emperor of the Habsburgs.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Is that a location now Instead of a person?
I?

Speaker 1 (38:10):
didn't look into it.
I didn't look into it.
I love the fact.
I think he's emperor of.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Rome.
Can you hold on a second?
I love the fact that in themajority of our episodes I ask
you a question and you're likewhat the fuck, brad?
That was a.
What the fuck Brad Lee?
Like, don't ask me thatquestion, please don't.
You fucking asked me thatquestion.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
I'm talking about Marie Antoinette, not Joseph II,
but Cake.
He had to come to Versailles.
Yeah he did Wait what he had tocome to Versailles and lecture
to Louis and Marie like theworld's most awkward, like sex

(39:01):
ed teacher.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
And who did this again?
Her?

Speaker 1 (39:05):
brother.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Her brother came to Versailles and was like okay,
guys, here's what's up, that'slike if my brother Corey were
like hey man, gotta talk to youabout some sex.
Yeah like super fucking awkward.
How about you don't do that?

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Joseph joked that their marriage was like two
polite porcupines.
Ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
Hmm, dude was like two polite porcupines.
That is fucking fantastic.
Sorry, I don't know why I findthat so funny, but that is
fucking amazing.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
Two polite porcupines .

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Oh my God, that's fantastic.
Thank you for that one, JesusChrist.
Okay, so after seven years.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
I'm so talking After seven years.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah andpotentially a medical
intervention on Louie's part.
Do tell it might have.
This is like really specific,but it might have been a
foreskin issue tell me about it.
I really don't.

(40:10):
But um so, so, seven years andperhaps a medical intervention,
yeah, right, right, they finallyconsummated their relationship.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
Well, fork and twine.
Yeah, they had cake then too,right but they, they eventually
had four kids.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Oh, did right, but they eventually had four kids.
Oh, did they really?

Speaker 2 (40:27):
Yeah, they really did 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, I don't
know.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
But Louis.
To his credit, he never, evertook a mistress and he genuinely
adored Marie Antoinette.
Not according to Iron man andIron Mask, but all right, but
the court never stoppedgossiping because, although
seven years of not gossiping, ofcourse there was gossip

(40:54):
surrounded by tea.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
Kate likes tea, so back then though, the beverage,
the beverage.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
I mean, I like gossip too, but whatever.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
I thought I was pretty clear on what I said, but
I appreciate you clearing thatup.
But back then, though, that'swhat you had.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
Oh yeah, that was like your television.
It's like you know what.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
I can't scroll on YouTube.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
No, that's your television.
I can't watch Netflix.
The court is television.
Yeah, I mean no, that's yourtelevision.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
I can't watch netflix television.
Yeah, I mean, literally that'swhat it was.
So it's like that was theirentertainment social fucking
media, which is the bane of ourexistence, uh, back then.
So it's like they're like oh,he didn't better yet two years
later, he didn't better yet.
Let's keep talking some shit.
So, yeah, yeah, that's going tohappen.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
And you know how that rumor got spread Was because
Not by her legs.
Because her bed never had quoteunquote blood in it.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Do we know for a fact she was a virgin going into
this.
Yeah, okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
So, like every time, the bed maids would, yes, would
come in and change the sheets,etc.
They would.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
They would notice that like nothing ever happened,
that was a huge way that theyknew, because typically, when
royalty or whatever, or even aroyal, married whoever, they
would consummate their marriageand there would be blood because
they were supposed to be avirgin and that was a big thing
back then.

(42:30):
Obviously times have changed.
But yeah, no, that makes sense,because if there was no blood,
it's like didn't happen clearlythey didn't fuck yet.
Yeah, and they would changetheir bedding.
Yeah, clearly didn't fuck, yetthey changed their bedding.
Yeah, clearly they didn't fuckyet they changed their bedding.
So, yeah, same thing.
Yeah, I get that Because it wasjust sign of the times.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
So Louis XV died in 1774.
Okay, and Marie became queen at19.
19 years old.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
So did she marry the 16th?
Then she did, which was hisbrother.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Grandson, louis XV's grandson.
I actually meant to look upwhat happened to Louis XVI's
father, but I forgot.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
But the grandfather is Louis.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
XV, the grandson is Louis XVI.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Can you do me a favor ?
Was that not part of yourresearch?
Can you say it out loud?
Say it better.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
It wasn't part of my research.
Can you say it out loud?

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Say it better it wasn't part of my research.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Thank you, Thank you, I actually so.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
You meant it to me, but it wasn't.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
My friend Sam.
Yeah, if I.
So we talk over Messenger, yeah, but if I text her, yeah.
That's just for me to to remindmyself of something you do that
with me, yeah, yeah, yeah, so,and, but I didn't want to send
it to you because I didn't wantto give it away, which?

Speaker 2 (43:53):
I don't want either.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yes, so I texted her louis father, but did I look
into it?

Speaker 2 (44:02):
no, so you did it.
But then you're like this iswhere this dies.
It dies on this hill.
I don't care.
Fuck.
Brad's going to ask me.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
So Nathan and I also talk over Messenger, but then
he'll text me like randommeasurements.
I'm like what the fuck is hedoing?
Just to ruin it.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
He has literally told me, and I've been in his
presence when he's done it.
You guys mainly talk overmessenger when he's like this is
nine and three quarters text,kate, this is how I remember,
because we I'm like, yeah, I gotit.
It's pretty funny because, buthe's literally shown me that.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
So and for you and I.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
We always text but we over messenger messenger will
send Idioms to remember orrandom other shit.
So it's funny how we each allhave our thing To try and
remember shit.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
My cheeks hurt from smiling, do you?

Speaker 2 (44:55):
want to know the funny thing, what we always
forget, yeah like in this case,especially Kate.
No, no, no, don't gloss overthis, especially Kateis number.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
Whatever number 15.
He died in 1774.
Maria became miss you 15.
Maria became queen at 19 yearsold.
Okay, is this one.
She ate cake I'm kidding, keepgoing madame du barry, the
mistress of Louis XV.
She was banished.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Well, are you surprised, though?
It's like you've been bangingmy husband?
Get the fuck out of here.
I'm queen now, motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
But queens really didn't have any real power.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Not back then.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
No.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
Which is funny, because even in the 1700s, when
we'll air, quote this, moreprogressive, still nothing.
I mean, it was all about theking still.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yes, and the heirs?
They just got lucky.
Smile and produce heirs.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
That is a fucking short in the making.
Basically, for them it was abenefit of where they were, who
they were with.
I should say not where theywere, they had no fucking power,
but yet they had power.
But as soon as Louis was gone,oh fuck, what do I?

Speaker 1 (46:30):
do the mistress, you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
Even Marie.
Oh yeah, she had no power.
She had power, but she hadliterally no power, not unless
the king like listened to herCorrect.
Yeah, so it's wild that, likeback then, it was so segregated
in terms of.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
I'm sorry what.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Segregated.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Segregated.
He's not segregated, segregated.
You always make fun of me in mypronunciations.
I'm allowed.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
I am going to repeat that in the recording.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
I said allowed.
I am going to repeat that inthe recording.
I said segregated, segregated,sorry, okay, okay.
So, marie, huh, what, yep, what, exactly what?
What'd you do?
What'd what?
What'd you do?
What'd you?

Speaker 2 (47:27):
do.
What'd you do?
I said look at that shirt.
What Exactly?
What Kate is saying isirrelevant.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Rude, do you want me to continue?

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Yes, yes, because I would like to learn more about
Marie fucking her grandson, orwhatever.
That's not.
Whatever, I was joking, butanyway I'm glad I got you there.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
Okay, so Marie Antoinette was all about fashion
.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
Yeah, she wore like elaborate gowns and whatever.
So when she was in Austria.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
she was very minimalistic, literally, when
she crossed the river intoFrance they stripped her All of
a sudden.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
It's like poof.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, they literally stripped her, put her in French
garb and then brought her toLouis for the first time.
Oh really, like they immediate.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Not the 15th, the future, louis Xth.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
The future Louis XVI, her future husband.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
Which was her second husband after 15.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
No, she didn't.
Marie Antoinette only had onehusband.
His name was Louis XVI.
Louis XV was his grandfather.
Louis XV had a mistress namedMadame du Barry and he died.
And now Louis the 16th, the kid.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
I was just making sure you were there.
I like fucking with Kate.
If you never understood ourpodcast, I like to make sure she
understands what she's talkingabout.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
With the help of fashion consultant, sewer
designer what have you?

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Oh, I thought you meant the name was like sewer,
but okay.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Rose Bertin.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
Rose what.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Rose Bertin.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Bertin.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
She was the fashion person for Marie Antoinette.
Really, she had a name in herown right because for Marie
Antoinette Really she had a namein her own right because of
Marie Luton.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Her name was Rose Bertin.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
yeah, Literally a name in her own right and
Leonard.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
What's Leonard Leonard?
Is it kind of like a lanyard?
He is the Michelangelo of wigsPowdered Mm-hmm.
How much fucking baby powder doyou need?

Speaker 1 (49:46):
I'm just kidding.
Between Rose Burton, thefashion consultant, and Leonardo
, the Michelangelo of wigs, sheturned herself into like a
fucking walking Pinterest board.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
Hold on besides you, who called him the Michelangelo
of wigs?
Was that all you?

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Yeah, yeah, I just.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
I had to know.
Yeah, it was me.
Oh my god, michelangelo, okay,for weeks.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
So Marie Antoinette had hair does up to three feet
tall.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
That sounds more like a hair don't.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
Am I wrong?
Okay, we need to move on.
Am I wrong At one point?

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Seriously no, we need to take a.
Am I wrong?
Seriously no, we need to take abreather here and be like no.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
At one point she literally had a ship on her hair
.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
Do you know who played her in a movie?

Speaker 1 (50:59):
Yes, I do.
Okay, it's a movie called MarieAntoinette, and it's from
Kirsten Dunst, it's not from sheplayed her, yeah Anyway.
So why was that so like?

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Why am I talking about this?

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Because I haven't seen it yet so I don't know how
like real it is.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
I haven't seen it either.
That wasn't my question, butthank you for that delicious
entertainment.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
Fashion was Marie Antoinette's escape.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
Yes, she absolutely adored that.
Yes.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
So it was her way to express her identity.
Yes, yep, yep, becauseliterally she couldn't do
anything else.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Well, she wasn't very talented.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
But it also backfired .

Speaker 2 (51:42):
Oh dear, how so.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
So people were obsessed with how much she spent
.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
She was a bit of a spender.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
She didn't exactly wear the same dress twice.

Speaker 2 (51:55):
Oh really, I mean, even I do, and I don't wear
dresses.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
so but there are plenty of royals who spent like
this, but Maria was a foreigner,gasp.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Austrian Born.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
Yes, so she got the blame.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
Isn't that funny Because, like there's been
plenty of royalty.
I mean they marry differentlegions, locales, other words
that I can't come up withbecause I've had beers.
Can you stop making that face?

(52:35):
They did that on purpose, butyet you're a foreigner.
Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Yeah, they got together for alliances and
they're still like, no, you're aforeigner.
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah, they got together foralliances and they're still like
, no, you're a foreigner.
Yeah to strengthen their butyeah, their ties, basically yeah
, yeah but yet, oh my god, Ican't believe she did that.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
She's a foreigner.
It's like you did this all thetime.
It's better than fucking your,your brother, because they do
too.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
I'm not saying Marie did, but I'm just saying that's
happened.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
All of Game of Thrones.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
So on the grounds of Versailles.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
Back to Versailles.
I love Versailles.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
They built a little tiny not really tiny a very
large playhouse, if you will,for her, like a dollhouse, yeah,
someplace where she could goand actually just be herself out
of the public eye.
Was she feeble-minded?
It was a house on Versailles,but it was a place that she

(53:38):
could just go to.
She could wear muslin dressesand not be ousted, ousted, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Was she feeble-minded ?

Speaker 1 (53:51):
No, okay, no, but she wasn't like the super smartest.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
but that's fine.
Neither am I Okay, but why doeswhat you just said make it seem
like she Short bus, all that Imean?
I don't understand.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Short bus.
All that I mean, I don'tunderstand.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
So it would be like me in myhouse having an escape room
where my but you do have one,wait what when my craft area is.
Okay, that would be my escape.
Sure, she had a separate house.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
So this was basically just her like I want to do this
yes, oh, she yeah this was aplace that she could go.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
I'm sorry and she could invite the people that was
closest to her, that shetrusted, and she could just be
herself, okay, and she wouldwear I'm sorry, just sorry to
interrupt.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Yeah, I'm not saying you explained it wrong.
I interpreted it wrong.
It's just like what ishappening here.
That's on me.
That's right, I apologize.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
But she wore a lot of muslin dresses out there.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Can you explain what muslin is?

Speaker 1 (55:01):
It's a very like linen type fabric that's what I
thought it wasn't like satin orsilk.
That is really queenly.
Yeah, it was very homely almostkind of fabric peasant.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
Yes, yes, yes exactly .

Speaker 1 (55:15):
It was so comfortable , though, well and that was the
place where she could wear thosethings and not be like okay in
the public eye no, that makessense, um sure.
So, but some of the public whoknew about this, yes, thought
that she was mocking the poorpeople by wearing them.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Oh, so they took it the wrong way.
That's unfortunate.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
And that was really just her, like being herself.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
That was her being comfortable.
Yeah, yeah Like you like towear PJs all the time because
you sleep all the time.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
I mean, I'm not wrong .

Speaker 1 (55:49):
No.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
There it is.
That was fucking amazing.
That's going in the burp track.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
So she had a painting made, a painting commissioned,
and it was of her in a muslindress.
Oh, and the public lost theirminds.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
Like they thought it was so beautiful.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
No, they thought it was so insulting because they
thought that she was mockingthem.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Isn't that funny?
Because, like they didn't knowbetter, they assumed, but it
wasn't that was her comfort spot.
Does this painting still exist?
Not, to your knowledge.

Speaker 1 (56:34):
Copies yes, Original, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
That's fine.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
We'll post a photo.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
If we can find that, let's put that in the episode.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
People lost their mind.
They say she's in her underwear, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So she pulled the painting andrecommissioned a new painting of
her in like fucking franceguards, or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah um, but shewas trying to look relatable,
but she looked tone deaf,essentially I hate being tone
deaf but okay.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
So above all these extravagance, extravagance can
you say the first one again,above all this extravagance
France yes not doing so well,not so much well, this is cause
like okay, I'll just go onbefore I say anything.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
There was an economic meltdown in France.
Yeah, this is the revolution.
France was broke Yep.
They helped the Americancolonies win their revolution.
Correct.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
Thanks, ben Franklin, the national debt he went over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, correct,thanks Ben Franklin.
The national debt he went over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,before lightning and shit yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Phil Sweetly went over there too when she met Ben
Franklin.
Remember, phil Sweetly, thatepisode.
The poet.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Can you not ever do that again?
Yes, 1788.
I'd like to say you didn'twhistle, you didn't.
That's not a whistle.
Anyways, that's a callback to aprevious episode.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
Anyways, continue.
France was broke because of theAmerican Revolution.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
Thank you, France.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
And the national debt exploded and in 1788, over half
of France's income was going topay interest.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
Welcome to a la American life.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
Food prices skyrocketed and in 1788 and 89,
a loaf of bread.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
I'm sorry.
Are you talking about today orback then?

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Because, holy fuck, a loaf of bread costs up to 90%
of a worker's daily wages.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
Holy shit Really.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Let them eat cake.
I mean, I want cake.
Okay, the quote from MarieAntoinette Let them eat cake,
isn't that?

Speaker 2 (59:01):
from when she was beheaded?

Speaker 1 (59:04):
No, no, it was all false, really false, really.
That saying let them eat cakeyeah, was written in documents
over a decade before she waseven queen.
Seriously, seriously, it wasall false.
She never said let them eatcake I.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
I feel betrayed by this world.
Yep, because they sold me asthat.
She always said that and I've I.
I hate this world more, evennow than I did five minutes ago.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
Yeah, isn't that crazy.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
This world sucks.
I wanted to eat cake, allbecause of marie, and now I
can't because the world lied tome so the the queen, fuck.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
She's got feathers, she's got diamonds, she's got
private chateaus to do her playcosplay, or whatever Cosplay
they called her, madam Deficit.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
Because she caused so much deficit.

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
Because she spent so much money.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
They called her Madam Deficit man.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
I stand by what I said, but yeah, okay so in this
in the 1780s there was like amini ice age.
There was a lot of hailstorms,a lot of droughts, that like
hailstorm hurt a lot of crops.
In88, there was a wheat harvestthat was one of the worst
harvests in decades and itcaused a massive famine.

(01:00:30):
And then the riots over breadPeasants were furious because
the courts were having partiesand the public were starving.
Yeah, I mean that's starting.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Yeah, yeah, I mean that's very yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
Yeah, yep, yep, yep.
So there's also unfair taxes ina rigged system.
Okay, oh, yeah.
We have three estates in France.
Okay, the first estate is theclergy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Yes, always number one back in those times.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Yes, the second estate was the nobility.
Yes, always number one back inthose times.
Yes, the second estate was thenobility Yep, okay, both paid
little or no taxes.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Typically yes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
The third estate was everybody else.
So you've got the peasants andthe merchants and the artisans,
and they paid for everything.
People wanted reform, but thenobles and the monarchy dragged
their heels.
Okay, louis XVI was indecisive,he was bookish, he was terrible

(01:01:37):
at public relations, he was shy, he didn't even bet his fucking
wife.
Marie Antoinette's influencewas exaggerated.
Marie Antoinette's influencewas exaggerated, but the rumor
mill painted her as a schemingforeigner from Austria who wore
diamonds while France burned.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
Now, who does that sound?

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
like Wore diamonds while France burned.
I know you've got it in thatbrain.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Oh my God, Nero, yeah , yes, yes Go, emperor Nero, yes
, tell me more, tell me more.
Well, he watched his-.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Rome burn.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
City burn while he played his lyre.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
Lyre.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Or lyre.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
Lyre yeah, yeah, so I heard that's false.
Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
Yes, Now that we've done that episode.
I've heard that was actually.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
But it kind of like huh.
That reminds me of Emperor Nero, when they said that he played
the liar while Rome burned.

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
But he also was the architect of that where she was
not.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
So either way.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
So again around the time of Let them Eat Cake, she
never fucking said those words.
We don't know where it camefrom, it just it came from me.

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
I really want cake tonight, okay, or molasses
cookies, ooh, anyways.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
Molasses cookies Frosting on top.
I have to pee.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
All right, let's take a break and go and we're back.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Thank, you for letting me pee okay, so yes,
1775, there's a grain shortage agrain shortage.
Yes, marie antoinette expressedconcern for the poor by writing
to her mother quote it is quitecertain that in seeing the
people who treat us so well,despite their own misfortune, we

(01:03:33):
are more obliged than ever towork.
End quote.
She's a compassionate woman.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
I mean, it sounds that way, yeah, and she was
liked at a point oh for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Yeah, but she was really drowned out by the
sensational rumors spreadingthrough cafes and marketplaces
about her and her husband andthen her extravagant spending,
and there was even likepornographic cartoons coming out
and pamphlets over her.
Yeah, Wow.
And they even portrayed her asa saying a word.

(01:04:07):
It's a pun, meaning theAustrian woman, but also bitch
at the same time.
Oh, and it's called Never knewthat La.
Trichotchen, la Trichon, reallyLa Trichon.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Yes, I never knew that.
The Austrian bitch essentiallythe Austrian bitch.
Yeah, wow, yeah, okay, I neverheard that before.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
It was basically a woman who seduced and sent
France into ruin.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
See, that's really harsh because she didn't do that
.
They blamed her, but it wasn'tjust on her.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
She was absolutely a scapegoat.
I got some more beers after Ipeed.
Yeah, cheers, cheers, cheers,cheers to you.
Yes, cheers.
Okay yeah, so there were alsophilosophers at this time.
You will probably recognizetheir names.
I, okay, yeah, so there werealso philosophers at this time.
You will probably recognizetheir names.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
I'm sure.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
Voltaire and Rousseau .
Yeah, there were others, butthese are the prominent ones
you've heard of.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
Those are the main ones.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
They were writing that the monarchy excuse me,
they wrote about the monarchy.
They wrote about religion, theywrote about inequality into
like fucking bestsellers at thetime.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
Bestsellers Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
They had these new ideas about equality, democracy,
the rights of man.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Yeah, and the right to burp.
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
But people started asking why do we have kings
again?

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
That was one of the biggest things about the French
Revolution, right?

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
It was like we need to stop this and they're like no
Fuck this guy and like LouisXVI, he was just so demure, Just
very simple.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
Let's go with that word.
Your word was better than mine.

Speaker 1 (01:05:59):
In 1789, louis XVI called the Estates General for
the first time in 175 years todeal with this crisis.
Okay, he opened a Pandora's box, so that's an idiom.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
I know it's on the list.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
France was broke.
You have it on the list.
Yeah, great.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Wonderful Look at me go.

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
France was broke.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
Like maxed out credit cards broke.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
Is this when D'Artagnan comes in?
Who D'Artagnan?
Come on, you don't know whoD'Artagnan is.
I've never heard of that.
Three Musketeers.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
Now I've seen it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
You've seen man in the Iron Mask?

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
Like when it first came out in like what 1992?

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
Or 8th, but whatever, is that my fault?
You literally don't know whoD'Artagnan is, mm-mm.

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Moving on.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
What are we even doing here?

Speaker 1 (01:07:09):
Louis XVI tried cutting spending.
Yes, he fired finance ministerswho said things like maybe we
should tax like the nobles he'slike fuck that and louis the
16th was like nah, how aboutyou're fired?
So, in desperation, he calledthe estates general a meeting of

(01:07:29):
representatives from threeestates of french society okay,
like prominent estates basically.
So the first estate was theclergy, which was less than 1%
of the population, with taxexemptions.
The second estate was thenobility, which is about 1.5% of

(01:07:50):
the public, which is also veryanti-tax Of course.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
Third, they wanted to make money without spending
money, basically.

Speaker 1 (01:07:58):
Third estate is literally everybody else.
Correct.
Okay, they are 98% of France.
Yeah, here's the kicker.
Three estates, oh dear.
Each estate got one vote.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
Oh, come on, really, that's how that works.
What does that mean?
Not good.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
It means the third estate, the public, the peasants
, were constantly outvoted, ofcourse.
Two to one, yeah, every time.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
Because the other two are always going to vote in
favor of the king.
Vote in favor of the kingBecause in favor of the king, no
matter what the peasants,whatever you want to call them,
I don't like that.
We're going to vote the otherway, like it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter Because theother two are always going to
vote in favor of the king.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
I mean the third estate.
They played nice, they showedup.
They made their speeches, butthey were only one vote, despite
being 98% of the population.
Meanwhile, the rich and thereligious kept voting as a block
to protect their tax-free lives.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
That is so sad.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
So the third estate was like.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
Not so much.
We're done, we're good, we'refucking done.
We need a change.
Fuck your cake.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
On June 17th 1789, they declared themselves the
National Assembly.
Oh really, okay, Meaning werepresent France.
Not the crown, not the nobles,not father fucking whomever in
the front row.
We are France.

Speaker 2 (01:09:44):
Don't you kind of wish they wouldn't?
We represent the Lollipop.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild.
Okay, so literally, thisstatement we are the National
Assembly is a direct politicalchallenge to King Louis XVI's
authority.
Right, okay, respect my fuckingauthority.

(01:10:09):
Even a few members of the firstand second estates even
defected and joined the NationalAssembly.
Really, yes, Holy shit.

Speaker 2 (01:10:17):
That had to be a loss for him.

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
On June 20th, the National Assembly showed up in a
meeting hall, okay, and ithappened to be at Versailles.
There's just a big meeting hallat Versailles and that's where
they showed up.
Yeah, the doors were locked.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Oh dear.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
Louis XVI, in a move that screamed quote I am not
handling this well tried to stopthem by shutting the building
down for repairs.

Speaker 2 (01:10:48):
Yeah, that's not going to bode well.

Speaker 1 (01:10:51):
So you know what the National Assembly did.
They walked down the street.
They found a tennis court.

Speaker 2 (01:10:58):
And played tennis.

Speaker 1 (01:10:59):
No, that's where they had their meeting.
They called it the tennis courtoath.
The tennis court, can you sayit without laughing?
The tennis court oath theyswore not to disband until they
had written a new constitutionfor France.
Okay, you can lock the doors,but you can't stop this

(01:11:23):
revolution.
It was like one of the firstmoments of this French
Revolution, right, okay?

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
It was more or less a catalyst for what was to come,
kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (01:11:35):
King Louis lost control.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
Lost his shit.

Speaker 1 (01:11:40):
People smelled weakness and when rulers look
weak in a breadless country,guillotines.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
Guillotines, guillotines.
So how do you properly say it?
Is it guillotine?
Because I've heard both.
I've heard both.
I don't know if it's guillotineor guillotine.

Speaker 1 (01:12:00):
Yeah, I've heard both Maybe it's between American and
French.
French French, I feel likethat's.
Do you want some French foryour French?

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
French.
That was fucking amazing.
I'm going to write that down.
I'm going to try and move alongfrom that French French, so I
can't even focus anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
Shall, we move on.

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
I want to say what I was going to say, but I'm at a
loss for French.
Yeah, move along.

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
If I remember, all fine, okay so, the people of
France, french, they stormed theBastille.
Yes, do you know of this?
I do.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
Oh, wonderful.

Speaker 1 (01:12:57):
So it happened on July 14th 1789.

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:13:03):
The Bastille was a medieval fortress in Paris,
correct, mostly used for storingweapons, and at that time,
seven prisoners.

Speaker 2 (01:13:14):
Yes, who were the seven prisoners?

Speaker 1 (01:13:17):
I don't know, but one of them thought he was Julius
Caesar.
Wait what?
Yeah, he thought it was JuliusCaesar.

Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
What kind of fucking LSD do you think yeah?
But the real reason that it wasstormed was it was a symbol.
Yes, Bradley.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
No, you're just Tom.
No, you're just Tom.
No, you're not Julie, you'rejust Tom.
Wait what?
Okay, so they stormed theBastille because, one, it was a
symbol, but two, they hadgunpowder.
Oh dear, I feel like thegunpowder plot is coming out.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
I wasn't going to say it, but I'm glad you did 900
Parisians surrounded theBastille.
Those are people from Paris.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
Scared that the king would crack down on the National
Assembly.
Okay, so, after hours oftension outside the Bastille,
the situation popped off like anovercooked souffle.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Suddenly, Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:14:17):
Okay, these, let me tell you, these Parisians are
like husbands, laborers,artisans, merchants, even a few
soldiers who have gone rogue.

Speaker 2 (01:14:29):
Are they a fortune?

Speaker 1 (01:14:30):
They demanded the governor Like the governor?
Yeah, are they a fortune?
They demanded the governorBernard.

Speaker 2 (01:14:44):
René de.

Speaker 1 (01:14:44):
Lune hand over the gunpowder stored inside the
Bastille.
Gotcha, he stalled, negotiated,lied a little bit.
People are not impressed.
Someone dragged him out of theBastille, someone fired a shot.
To this day no one knows who.

(01:15:05):
But once that happened, thegame is on the attackers.
So shit hit the fan.
Basically, that's another idiom.
Shit hit the fan basically,that's another idiom.
Shit hit the fan.
The.
These merchants had cannonswhich they had stolen earlier in
the morning.
After a few hours of shootingand chaos and losing around a

(01:15:26):
hundred revolutionaries, thedefenders mostly retired
soldiers and a few Swiss guardswere completely overwhelmed and
Governor de Lugnet realized hewas out of options and
surrendered.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
I mean, he probably thought we're good, Until if he
was a fan.
He was like I think I'm over myhead here.

Speaker 1 (01:15:57):
DeLunier thought that he would be arrested, maybe
exiled but no, Well, I meanreligion.
He was being marched towardsCity Hall.
Oh shit, the people yelling.
Okay, someone stabbed him.

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
Seriously Seriously.

Speaker 1 (01:16:14):
And then another person stabbed him Seriously,
and then another person stabbedhim, and then a third person cut
off his head With what?

Speaker 2 (01:16:24):
And then?

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
someone put it on a spike.
Well, that was common.
And then it was paraded aroundParis like a party favor.

Speaker 2 (01:16:33):
That was common practice back then.
I know Put a head in a pike.

Speaker 1 (01:16:37):
I know.

Speaker 2 (01:16:38):
I mean, them were the days.
I remember them well.
Yes, that's fucked up, that'swild.

Speaker 1 (01:16:49):
He was like the first major victim of mob violence in
the revolutionary, or excusemob violence in the
Revolutionary, or, excuse me, inthe Revolution the modern.
And it was the start of therevolution's head on the spike
type of aesthetic, yeah, yeah.
So the storming of the Bastillebecame a big, flashy message to
the monarchy, as in, we'refucking done, even though the

(01:17:14):
building had minimalisticstrategic value it was just a
symbol.
The revolution kicked intooverdrive and to this day, july
14th is France's nationalholiday.

Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
So they consider that their independence day?
I think so.
Yeah, for lack of a better word.
Yeah, okay, yeah, gotcha.

Speaker 1 (01:17:37):
So we're only halfway through.
That's how much we've beentalking in between.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
Are you fucking serious?
No, holy shit.

Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
To give you context, I have 14 pages.

Speaker 2 (01:17:56):
And what are we on Seven?
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (01:17:59):
I thought we had less than that.
We need to go get our pizzabecause they close at 9 and
they're going to call us, so weneed to take a breather.

Speaker 2 (01:18:12):
To this day.
July 14th is France's nationalholiday, so my parents always
used to go to Bastille Days inMilwaukee.

Speaker 1 (01:18:25):
Have you ever been?
No, I did not know of such athing.
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:18:32):
I want to say they've taken me in the past.
I don't recall, though I'malmost positive I've gone with
them, but it's been a long, long, long time.
I don't recall it French-based,obviously, so you think it is

(01:18:54):
about this?

Speaker 1 (01:18:55):
It sounds similarish yeah but I always remember my
mom and dad, always like likegoing to bastille days, which is
french, so anyways sorry sothen, yes, on october 5th and
6th in 1789 october 5th and 6thin 1789, there was a rumor that

(01:19:19):
was spread that the royal familywas hoarding grain.
They were keeping it from thepeasant folk, Mm-hmm oh shit,
and Marie Antoinette was stillthrowing parties at this time.

Speaker 2 (01:19:31):
Yeah, they're not going to be favorable to that.
A crowd of mostly working-classwomen had had enough, I'm sure
this time, yeah, they're notgonna be favorable to that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:37):
A crowd of mostly working class women had had
enough.

Speaker 2 (01:19:40):
I'm sure.

Speaker 1 (01:19:41):
And on the morning of October 5th, thousands of women
armed with kitchen knives ohshit Spikes and potentially
pitchforks.
We're gonna go there andtorches.
They march, exactly.
They march the 12 miles throughthe rain from Paris to
Versailles.
I thought it was 20.
My bad, it's 12.

Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
I mean I'm going to hold a SU for the rest of your
life, but it's okay yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
So it's 12 miles from Paris to Versailles.
What do you mean?
Probably Some men joined, yeah,they.
Some men joined, yeah, theybrought cannons.
It was miserable, but they weremotivated.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
I mean, can you blame them?

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
They stormed into the palace grounds they demanded
bread.
Okay, and constitutionalmonarchy, oh shit.
All right, that seems drasticand that the king come back to
Paris the 12 miles, okay and seewhat the hell is happening
under his quote unquote control,his tutelage.

(01:20:47):
Yeah.
Like let's see what's actuallyhappening underneath your rule.

Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
I'm going to go with.
It doesn't bode well.
I mean, I know what happens tohim, but it's not going to bode
well.

Speaker 1 (01:20:58):
The mob broke into the palace.
Yeah, killed a couple of guards.

Speaker 2 (01:21:02):
Oh dear.

Speaker 1 (01:21:03):
And tried to reach Marie Antoinette in her bedroom.

Speaker 2 (01:21:06):
They killed D'Artagnan.

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
What.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
Nothing, huh D'Artagnan.
Huh, three Musketeers.
Come on, you know the ThreeMusketeers.

Speaker 1 (01:21:16):
I've never seen it never read it, never have done
anything about it.
But we're talking about MarieAntoinette here.
Are you confused?

Speaker 2 (01:21:26):
No, I was literally talking about French shit with
you in accordance to thisfucking episode, but I feel like
the one who's confused is Carryon.

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
She barely escaped into another room with the help
of her guards.
Yeah, and one of the morefamous moments she actually
stepped out onto the balcony,completely exposed to everybody
below her, and the mob was likescreaming for her head and
instead of panicking she staredthem all down like individually

(01:22:00):
yeah, individually, that's right.
And then Louis XVI gave in.
He agreed to move the royalfamily to Paris, specifically to
to Lurie's agree to move therural family to Paris.
Okay, specifically to ToulourisPalace, toulouris Palace.

Speaker 2 (01:22:24):
Hold on, let me move my family.

Speaker 1 (01:22:25):
Toulouris Palace.

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
Let me move my family to another palace.
Hold please, it sounds terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:22:32):
Essentially it was like a fancy prison with
curtains, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:22:37):
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure he didn't think that way,
but ultimately it looks that way.

Speaker 1 (01:22:42):
yes, the marchers made him ride back with them.

Speaker 2 (01:22:46):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
Along with a wagon Wagon, a wagon of flour, which
they found in Versailles.
Aka, they were hoarding alittle bit, well, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:23:04):
No shit.
I mean, it's the king.
He's going to get more than thepeasants, yes.
So of course he's going tohoard some shit because he wants
to get fed For sure, More thanhe wants his subjects to get fed
.

Speaker 1 (01:23:20):
His what.

Speaker 2 (01:23:24):
Subjects is what I said, anywho, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:23:28):
In June 1791,.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
That's a good year.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette tried to flee
Paris with their kids and a fewloyal servants.
Yes, Bradley.

Speaker 2 (01:23:42):
What are the kids' names?

Speaker 1 (01:23:45):
They each have like four or five names long.
I'm not going to go into it.

Speaker 2 (01:23:50):
Do you have them?

Speaker 1 (01:23:51):
No, okay, so that's, but their goal is to make it to
the border, link up withroyalist troops and rally
support to take back control ofthe country.
Okay, but it went terribly.
The royal family had beenbasically under house arrest in
the palace since the Women'sMarch and Louis had reluctantly

(01:24:13):
accepted the constitutionalmonarchy.
But he was not on board withthis whole power to the people
thing.

Speaker 2 (01:24:21):
Well, and this whole thing is, this is the whole
French Revolution, which is huge, I mean very pivotal in history
really, because it overthrewthe monarchy, put in a democracy
, basically, and he was the lastone, and they kick.

Speaker 1 (01:24:42):
Marie was secretly writing to her relatives in
Austria begging for militaryhelp.
Yeah like hey.
She and Louis believed thatonce they reached safety they
could overturn the revolution.

Speaker 2 (01:24:56):
Yeah, they were.
What were you going to say?
100% wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:25:00):
So the plan Mission Ridiculous.
They decided to go intodisguise by dressing as
commoners.

Speaker 2 (01:25:09):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:25:12):
And Louis pretended to be a servant and the queen a
governess.
Maria brought a lot of luggagebecause of course she did.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
I feel like that would give away your secret.

Speaker 1 (01:25:27):
Not only that, but they used a giant royal coach to
travel.

Speaker 2 (01:25:34):
You're trying to be incognito.
Why would you do that?

Speaker 1 (01:25:39):
They meet at about 150 miles northeast of Paris.

Speaker 2 (01:25:43):
That's actually pretty impressive.

Speaker 1 (01:25:44):
And they were recognized by a postmaster who
happened to know that Louis'face is on a fucking coin.
Dude, you look like the guy onthis coin that I have.

Speaker 2 (01:25:57):
He's like.

Speaker 1 (01:25:58):
Dude, this is like your profile man.
That's you man.
Can I use your autograph?
So the public felt superbetrayed.

Speaker 2 (01:26:09):
Can you blame them?
Yeah, I mean, they're in themiddle of a fucking revolution
and he's like no man, I ain'tthat guy.

Speaker 1 (01:26:19):
The trust in the monarchy collapsed.
It became clear that Louiswasn't just incompetent, he was
now pretty much an enemy of thepeople.
So from this point forward,calls to abolish the monarchy
altogether grew a lot louder.
It was a major turning point inthe revolution.
Yeah, and by summer night 1792things started spiraling okay

(01:26:41):
the royal family was imprisonedat the palace under tight guard.
Yeah, the people were furiousabout them, high, like leaving
the palace and like trying tolike.

Speaker 2 (01:26:51):
Well, right, yeah it was a bad love Trying to escape
it, basically.

Speaker 1 (01:26:55):
Madame Antoinette was nicknamed Madame Deficit and it
turned into Madame Vito.
Okay, and everyone suspectedthat she was secretly colluding
with Austria to crush therevolution.

Speaker 2 (01:27:10):
I hate colluding.
But she like was Well, yeah,she was, they weren't wrong.
No they weren't wrong yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:18):
France had declared war on Austria and Prussia, oh
dear, in April 1792, and it wasgoing terribly.

Speaker 2 (01:27:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:26):
Hungry, angry citizens, outside threats,
suspicion that the king was atraitor all equaled boom
revolution.
Like boom boom, boom, boom boom.

Speaker 2 (01:27:41):
It was already going on, but it's like fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:45):
It was like kaboom.

Speaker 2 (01:27:46):
Yeah, this is we are doing this shit.
Yes, because they were sick ofit.

Speaker 1 (01:27:50):
Yes, On August 10th.

Speaker 2 (01:27:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:53):
Two, nope, 20,000 revolutionaries, including the
National Guard and radicalParisians, stormed the palace.
Okay, this Toulouse, whateverpalace.
And Louis had fled again, thistime to a nearby legislative

(01:28:15):
assembly, thinking they'dprotect him.
Not so much.
But the Swiss guards, who wereloyal to the king, were
slaughtered, bodies everywhere,heads on spikes.
It was the best deal to Ponyo,but like bloodier oh boy.
Okay, louis and his family wereformally arrested and taken to

(01:28:35):
the temple prison.
Oh, shit.
On August 13th, he was strippedof his title.
So no more like Louis XIII.
Yeah, okay, 16th, 16th, sorry,what did I say?
13th, really?
Yeah, damn, I suck.
The legislative assembly wasdissolved and replaced by the
national convention.
Okay.
On August 21st, the conventiondeclared, quote there is no

(01:28:59):
longer a monarchy in France.

Speaker 2 (01:29:03):
Isn't that wild that like these people got together
and were like you know what?
No, yeah.
No, we're, we're, we're no.
I mean, they basically went todemocracy, right.

Speaker 1 (01:29:14):
Yeah, they're like, this is no longer a thing, king
Silly, what was that?

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
I can't recreate it.
I wish you wouldn't make me.
But no, it's like it's mindboggling.
It's like, no, we just we don'tagree with this.
You are no longer in power, andthey've been in power for.

Speaker 1 (01:29:41):
Thousands of years, kings have been in power.

Speaker 2 (01:29:44):
thousands of years there Between England, france,
all in between, whatever.
They're like nope, we don'trecognize your power here
anymore, and it's like I wasking today.
Nope, we don't recognize yourpower here anymore, and it's
like I was king today.
Tomorrow not so much.
And it's like holy fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:30:04):
So after the monarchy was abolished, in August 1792,
louis went from your majesty toLouis Capet or Capet to Louis
Capet or Capay Capay.
So basically you're just JoeSchmo Capay.
He was put on trial in December1792 by the National Convention

(01:30:26):
charged with treason.
See so why?
Or conspiring with foreignpowers, true-ish, fleeing the
Okay, sorry, conspiring withforeign powers, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:30:38):
True-ish.

Speaker 1 (01:30:39):
Ish Fleeing the country.
Very true, True-ish yeah, andundermining the revolution at
every turn.

Speaker 2 (01:30:48):
It's like do you blame him?
Though?
He wasn't undermining therevolution.
He was trying to stop itbecause he was king, yes, and
the revolution was to stop himfrom being king yes.
So he wasn't really undermining, he was trying to fucking, just
nope.

Speaker 1 (01:31:01):
Yeah, nope, okay, but this part's interesting, so
focus.

Speaker 2 (01:31:04):
I mean all of it is but.

Speaker 1 (01:31:07):
Listen, the National Convention had 749 deputies 749.
A simple majority was needed topass any resolution.
Oh, 100%.
So the threshold for a bindingdecision like executing a king

(01:31:30):
yes, half of that would be of 7would be 375 if you round up 375
.

Speaker 2 (01:31:39):
Because it's not an even number.

Speaker 1 (01:31:40):
Yep votes are needed.
Okay, here's a twist.
Not everybody voted In everysingle aspect of this vote, so
so is.
By the time of the finalExecution vote, only 721
deputies casted valid votes.

Speaker 2 (01:32:01):
Out of the 749.

Speaker 1 (01:32:02):
Yep, so 721.
Half of 721 is 361, majority361, you're rounded up 361.
361 is the majority.
Yes, 361 is the majority.
Each deputy had to stand up andspeak their vote aloud.
The vote to execute Louis XVI361.

Speaker 2 (01:32:30):
Oh shit.
One vote was between life anddeath 's amazing one really wow
and he's like did I make it?

Speaker 1 (01:32:45):
wow that's wild, yeah , okay marie's downfall took a
little bit longer yeah but itstill happened.
She was now known as the widowcapay, thrown into a dank cell
alone, watched constantly.
Her health deterioratedapparently she.

(01:33:07):
Her hair turned white oh reallyyeah, like it wasn't that far
difference in time frame.
What color was her hair?
It was blonde.

Speaker 2 (01:33:18):
It was kind of a darker blonde.

Speaker 1 (01:33:20):
He was a little bit lighter blonde, so like the,
Kirsten Dunst.

Speaker 2 (01:33:24):
She was too blonde for it.
Well, I mean, but she wasblonde.

Speaker 1 (01:33:28):
She was Anyways and her children were taken from her
.
Her child began on October 14th1793.
Her charges were treason,incest.

Speaker 2 (01:33:44):
Which I feel okay.
I mean go back to Henry VIIIand all that stuff.
Different country obviously,but I feel like they just throw
their shit on there.

Speaker 1 (01:33:56):
Oh yeah, they said incest with her own son.
Do you want to tell the folkswhat you're drinking?

Speaker 2 (01:34:07):
Gin and tonic.
I'm feeling supersonic.
You could have it all, but howmuch do you want it?

Speaker 1 (01:34:13):
Of course she didn't actually partake in incest, no,
no, they just made that shit upto Shock the public.

Speaker 2 (01:34:21):
Shock the public.
That's basically what they did.
Pile charges on whatever youwant to call it, but fuck,
that's just like Anne Boleynfucking her brother.

Speaker 1 (01:34:31):
Mm-hmm, so Marie's verdict guilty, of course.
Sentence death by guillotine,guilt, guillotine, whatever
Guillotine.

Speaker 2 (01:34:40):
I like guillotine, let's go with guillotine.

Speaker 1 (01:34:42):
Her final moment.
On October 16th, she wrote afarewell letter to her
sister-in-law, which was neverdelivered.
Oh, she dressed in a plainwhite gown.
Okay, white was the color ofroyal mourning at that time in
France.

Speaker 2 (01:34:56):
Gotcha.

Speaker 1 (01:34:57):
So it was kind of like a subtle jab, but she rode
to her execution in an open cart.

Speaker 2 (01:35:04):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:35:04):
Louis got a carriage.

Speaker 2 (01:35:06):
Oh Pansy.

Speaker 1 (01:35:09):
She stood tall, poised, pale, thin, but whatever
.
But whatever.
She climbed the scaffold andaccidentally stepped on the
executioner's foot and famouslysaid quote pardon me, sir, I did
not do it on purpose.
End quote At 12.15, the bladefell, the crowd cheered and the

(01:35:34):
monarchy was officially dead andburied.
Louis died conflicted, confusedand probably still thinking
that something could have beenworked out.
Yeah, he's like.
What did I?

Speaker 2 (01:35:46):
do wrong man.

Speaker 1 (01:35:48):
And Maria died defiant, elegant and tragically
misunderstood.

Speaker 2 (01:35:54):
So I heard the whole let them eat cake thing was
actually a myth.

Speaker 1 (01:35:59):
You did hear that.

Speaker 2 (01:36:00):
Yeah, yeah, is that true?

Speaker 1 (01:36:03):
Yeah, it's a myth.

Speaker 2 (01:36:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:36:06):
It was written in the books years prior to her ever
being queen Right.

Speaker 2 (01:36:12):
So why was that like a thing?

Speaker 1 (01:36:14):
I don't know how it happened.
No, okay, but yeah, that's thestory of Marie Antoinette.

Speaker 2 (01:36:19):
It's crazy because I mean, what a time you think
you're going to be like I'mqueen of France and all that
shit and whatever.
And they're like, yeah, wedon't want a king and a queen
anymore, so you're going to haveto go and oh, I think by that
means we're going to kill you,yeah.

(01:36:40):
And I'm going to go by Kate'swords by a guillotine,
Guillotine, Guillotine.
I like guillotine, but you knowwhat I mean.
It's like wait what?

Speaker 1 (01:36:51):
How did you like the summer stew?
Did you like it?

Speaker 2 (01:36:56):
I did.
It could have been a bit colder, personally that's our bad, but
that was our bad.

Speaker 1 (01:37:01):
No, but the drink is good, I like it so, dano, did we
mention this earlier?

Speaker 2 (01:37:07):
he gave us that sample.
It was fucking delicious.
So I was looking for a podcastbeer for us for today and and
I'm like, ooh, we tried it butwe haven't had it per se.
So I got us that and, yes, I'mcurrently drinking a cocktail,

(01:37:29):
but whatever, sorry, pseudo,it's delicious, I like it.
Sorry, pseudo, it's delicious,I like it.
It's quite different from justregular pseudo-sue, obviously,
but no, it was good.
What?

Speaker 1 (01:37:41):
did you think of it?
I liked it a lot.
Yeah, Good yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:37:45):
Welp, I suppose.
All right, buffoons.
That's it for today's episode.

Speaker 1 (01:37:52):
Buckle up, because we've got another historical
adventure waiting for you.
Next time Feeling hungry formore buffoonery, or maybe you
have a burning question or awild historical theory for us to
explore.

Speaker 2 (01:38:03):
Hit us up on social media.
We're History Buffoons Podcaston YouTube X, instagram and
Facebook.
You can also email us athistorybuffoonspodcast at
gmailcom.
We are Bradley and Kate.
Music by Corey Akers.

Speaker 1 (01:38:17):
Follow us wherever you get your podcasts and turn
those notifications on to stayin the loop.

Speaker 2 (01:38:22):
Until next time, stay curious and don't forget to
rate and review us.

Speaker 1 (01:38:26):
Remember, the buffoonery never stops.
Love it, love it.
It really does me.

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