November 11, 2025 • 30 mins
The holidays are nearly here, which means you're about to sit across from relatives with very different political views. Fun, right? Whether it's Uncle Bob bringing up the recent election or your cousin sharing hot takes nobody asked for, navigating political conversations at family gatherings is exhausting. We're sharing practical scripts, gentle redirects, and exit strategies that protect your peace without ruining dinner.
Stop dreading family gatherings because of politics—hit subscribe and get practical scripts and boundary-setting strategies that actually work (without causing drama).
- Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
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—
Who Should Listen
This episode is for anyone heading into the holidays with family members who have very different political views, and moms trying to keep the peace while protecting their mental health and teaching their kids healthy boundaries.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- How to state boundaries before the gathering even starts
- The "tell me more" technique for finding empathy (even when it's hard)
- Scripts for asking permission to share your view without starting a fight
- How to reframe conversations toward shared goals instead of divisive politics
- Defusing tactics: humor, neutral topics, and graceful subject changes
- Planning exit strategies and partner rescue signals for when things get heated
—
Bios
Caitlin brings her signature blend of humor and practical advice to help overwhelmed moms navigate the challenges of adulting—including surviving politically charged family gatherings without losing your mind. With Jenny, who brings real talk and solidarity to the chaos of modern motherhood.
—
Sources & Mentions
- For links to resources mentioned in this episode, head to ckandgkpodcast.com/blog
- An article for TIME by Angela Haupt
- This Instagram post from Jackie Santillan @kindminds_smarthearts
- Find us on social media @CKandGKPodcast
Note: This is a re-aired episode from last year that's incredibly relevant for this holiday season. The strategies and scripts still work, and honestly, we all need the reminder.
Important reminder from this episode: Schedule your mammogram if you're due. Caitlin had a follow-up win and wants you to take care of yourself, too.
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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Thanks, y'all!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:01):
It's Tuesday.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Yeah, it is.
Let's do this.
Uh, we are so glad you're heretoday.
Today we are talking about whatto say when the family talk at
the gatherings turns towardspolitics, and you just can't
even.
So hopefully this is coming outjust in time for you to listen
(00:24):
to it before Thanksgiving on theroad trip.
Thanksgiving over the river andthrough the woods to
grandmother's house, you know?
So let's do this.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
All right.
But before we do that, Caitlin,what are you doing in January?
I want to discuss the state ofour Oh goodness.
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
That's Jenny, my glowingly tricky warrior.
I don't know.
It's it's a you know, it's agenerator that does this.
I'm gonna have to start doing itmyself because some of these are
just so random that I just can'teven so.
SPEAKER_01 (00:59):
Okay.
Well, let me tell you, politicalpickup lines, there's a lot of
them out there.
Ew.
And some of them uh are not asmiddle of the road as let's
discuss the state of our union.
SPEAKER_00 (01:11):
Ew.
Okay, so um again, as Imentioned, we're talking about
what to say at family gatheringswhen the talk turns towards
politics and you are just not onthe same page as your family.
So today's sources are um twopieces.
One is um this lovely Instagramaccount called Kind Minds Smart
Hearts, uh, kindminds underscoresmart hearts.
(01:34):
And it's run by a woman namedJackie Sentien, and I love her.
She's got really nice parentingtips, and she also shares funny
memes from parents.
So um check her out.
And the other, the the heavilycited uh source today is 11
Things to say to your relativewhose politics you hate uh by
Angela Hott in Time magazine,which was a fabulous article.
(01:57):
And um I'm the blog post forthis episode is probably gonna
be pretty limited to go readthat article, but just in case
uh you'll be able to find thethe video from Jackie in the
blog post, and um, I wouldhighly recommend that you read
the article, it's very helpful.
Um before I get to that, I dowant to acknowledge that this
election was tough for a lot ofpeople, myself included.
(02:20):
Um and as a result, I uh tookthis article to heart.
Um, I firmly believe in doingwhat you can to protect your
peace during this time.
Um, and and so that's what kindof this is about.
And and as Jackie from KindMinds Smart Hearts reminded me,
the holidays are temporary.
(02:41):
Um, it is okay to put uptemporary barriers to protect
yourself.
It's okay to prioritize yourmental health.
Um, she she ends this video thatI'm gonna put in the blog post
for this episode by saying, youknow, one of my friends, very
wise sons, said, Um, I thinkI've made enough memories with
this person.
(03:01):
Oh wow.
If that's you, that's okay,right?
Um, otherwise, just rememberthis is temporary uh and you
know, ultimately the goal is tobe able to move forward.
So that's the hope here.
SPEAKER_01 (03:16):
Um I will tell you, like I um in the fall of 16, my
dad started a conversation withis it okay to talk about the
election?
SPEAKER_00 (03:28):
Very interesting.
SPEAKER_01 (03:29):
And I was like, wow, thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (03:31):
That's a very respectful way to go about this.
Very respectful, and I lovethat.
Um, and we're gonna get to that.
But the thing is, uh, somepeople are saying, I'm not going
to family get-togethers.
And I'm not here to tell youwhether or not you can you do
that.
Again, as I said, I believe inprotecting your peace.
So if that means that you can'tdo it, then that's what that
(03:54):
means.
Okay.
No, I get it.
Um, but it is really difficultto opt out of family
get-togethers.
So here are some ways to protectyour peace when you do have to
attend.
Okay.
Uh, one is to make yourintentions clear ahead of time
by saying point blank, I won'tbe talking about politics today.
Perfect.
Okay.
(04:14):
You are emphasizing that youwant to keep the focus on the
kids or on the festivities orwhatever, and you're gonna ask
straight up for a commitment toavoid talking about it.
Okay.
And chances are it's gonna comeup anyway.
And when it does, you can say,okay, that's enough of that.
Pass the gravy or whatever, optout.
Right.
(04:34):
Or um remind everyone, hey, youknow, we are not talking about
that here today.
And let it go.
Okay.
Um, so that's the first one.
I won't be talking aboutpolitics today.
The second one is uh, if you'rechoosing empathy, can you tell
me a story that helps meunderstand how you came to
(04:55):
believe that?
So here's what the article says.
It says asking for the storybehind someone's beliefs can
help us remember that our familymembers are complex and that
their ideas come from a placethat we might recognize, even if
we don't necessarily subscribeto those beliefs.
So the example given here ismaybe I disagree with my uncle
deeply, deeply, deeply aboutguns, but his story about his
(05:17):
sense of accomplishment andbelonging after shooting his
grandfather's rifle for thefirst time might help me
remember kind of where he'scoming from, right?
Right.
Um just as we want people tohave empathy for how we feel,
the best way to do that is tomodel empathy ourselves, right?
So there we go.
(05:38):
Um this one, this one I kind oflike because it feels a little a
little petty.
I don't like it.
Um but here we go.
It's if I had heard only whatwas in your newsfeed, I'm sure
I'd think the same thing, butI've had different experiences
in my life.
SPEAKER_01 (05:59):
Uh you could even just, if you wanted to dial it
back a little bit, you can justsay, I've had different
experiences in my life.
SPEAKER_00 (06:05):
You could, yeah.
You really could.
Um, so one of the sources uhcited in the Time article is
someone named Neilan Parker,who's the executive director of
Common Ground USA, which is anorganization that's dedicated to
building peace.
Um considers this a very gentlereminder that even the most
compelling news stories don'tnecessarily apply to equally to
(06:26):
everyone's lives, right?
Because everyone has differentexperiences.
Um here's another one, numberfour.
What kind of compromise orsolution might work for both
sides?
Uh and maybe reframing it as howdo we work to come up with a
solution that's inclusive andthat's helpful for most people?
(06:48):
Um you're you're disarming themby putting them on the same
team, right?
You're you're saying thatultimately we have the same
goal.
Let's work together toward tocome to that.
Okay, number five.
And this is one of Jenny's linesthat she's used on me.
I've heard her use it on herhusband.
It's it tends to be adistracting line for her for her
sometimes, but the line is tellme more.
(07:11):
Or you can say more about that.
Say say more.
Okay.
Um even though you might notwant to hear more, so this might
be a little counterintuitive.
Um if you can convince someonethat you actually do want to
hear what they have to say, umit it disarms them, but they
(07:32):
stop ranting about it and theystart talking about it.
Um and and honestly, it's kindof it's kind of calling them out
on the on anything that'sinflammatory.
They'll they'll chill a littlebit, is the usual reaction.
Okay.
And maybe they'll actuallylisten to what you have to say
also because you've given them achance to do it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:50):
If they're coming from a space where they feel
like they don't have permissionto share or they don't have the
space to talk, and you give themopen permission and say, No, I
want to hear from you, tell memore.
It really does turn off thatdefense.
It does, yeah, and make it aconversation rather than a
(08:11):
lecture.
SPEAKER_00 (08:12):
And they're not backed into a corner anymore,
right?
Like that one of the things thatI've experienced in my
conversations with people whodisagree with me uh politically
is that the reaction tends to bevery defensive and backed into a
corner, uh, you know, lashingout, and and letting them have
the space outside of that cornertends to be very helpful.
(08:35):
And you just mentioned the wordpermission, and I'm gonna come
to that here.
This is number six.
Could I have permission to sharemy point of view?
Um, so this is part of acommonly used counseling
technique called elicit,provide, elicit.
And here's how it works (08:52):
first you find out what someone else's
point of view is, then youprovide your own perspective,
and then you ask the otherperson for their reaction.
The reason this works is thatthe other person has actively
said, yes, I do want to hearwhat you have to say, right?
(09:13):
But if they say no, then don'tengage.
You don't have to.
You're not gonna you're notgonna convince anyone.
Why waste your breath if theydon't want to hear what you have
to say?
But interestingly, it's veryunlikely that someone's going to
say, No, I don't want to hearwhat you have to say.
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
Unless it's delivered as can I have
permission to share my point ofview?
SPEAKER_00 (09:36):
It's yeah, it's delivery matters.
Can I talk about what I believe?
Exactly.
Delivery matters.
Okay.
Number seven, I'd like to have achance to learn from each other
because I respect you and I seethe world differently.
Now I modified that line becausethe original line was I respect
you but see the worlddifferently.
(09:56):
And we've talked about this overand over again, right?
The word but often negates whatyou just said.
I'm sorry, but is not an I'msorry, right?
I love you but is not an I loveyou.
So if you change it to because Irespect you and see the world
differently, you've you'vecreated a situation where two
(10:21):
things can exist at the sametime, right?
SPEAKER_01 (10:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
So the point of that line is to let your family
members know that while youmight disagree, you still intend
to ground your discussion in aplace of respect.
And you genuinely want tounderstand where they're coming
from.
So here's the the caveat here.
Um you have to mean that.
You can't just say, and Irespect you and I see the world
(10:46):
differently, and then notactually show respect.
So if you if you don't want tolearn anything from them, then
please don't say that line,right?
Right.
Um, and another thing is thatline tends to be a little bit
disarming and and can often dothe the backing into the corner
thing.
So you might decide that you'llcontinue that discussion in
(11:08):
private.
Might just be better.
Okay, number eight.
I like this one.
Maybe we could revisit thisconversation when we're both
feeling more calm.
Uh if you're both on edge, walkaway.
Walk away.
(11:29):
And you can say, let's just takea break from this.
Cheers.
SPEAKER_01 (11:34):
Like, you know, or call yourself out and say, I can
feel myself getting heated.
Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_00 (11:39):
Put it on you.
SPEAKER_01 (11:40):
Don't I think I need a break.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
You just don't want to say something you're gonna
regret later.
So getting heated is just notthe right it's not the right
time to have thoseconversations.
Okay.
This is my default when I'mfeeling that I am losing control
of a situation.
Um here we go.
It's using humor, okay?
(12:04):
You can use humor anytime todiffuse any situation, but this
one was like kind of silly.
I mean, I'll vote for anyone whowill boost the economy, cut my
taxes, and prosecute people whoremove their shoes on an
airplane.
Right?
Change it.
Add a pet peeve in there, youknow.
Like people are gonna glom ontothat humor part, and they're
(12:24):
gonna be like, oh my gosh,that's the worst.
It's so gross, you know, or likeI'll I'll vote for anybody who
like says it's not okay forpeople to put their long, gross
hair over the edge of the seatand have it dangle into my like
tray table.
You know what I'm saying?
Stuff like that, or you know,it's really helpful.
SPEAKER_01 (12:42):
Because you're turning the conversation and um
someone with conversational andsocial savvy will recognize
that.
And hopefully there's someone inyour group who has that and will
follow your lead.
SPEAKER_00 (13:00):
Absolutely.
I think that people and peoplelike when everyone's in on the
joke, you know, like it it ittends to bring everybody back
together.
Like, I you you know, I've saidthis many times.
Like, I firmly believe thatthere is a love language that is
laughter, shared laughter.
SPEAKER_01 (13:16):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (13:17):
And I think that that's a a pretty common one for
a lot of people.
So anything you can do to kindof diffuse is going to be
helpful.
Um, along those same lines.
Um, this one was like for saybefore an election, I'll just be
glad when the campaigncommercials are over with.
But I am saying, uh, I'm justglad all the commercials and
(13:37):
text messages have stopped.
Yes.
You know, just everybody canagree with that statement
because they were awful.
Incessant.
Gosh, uh awful.
Um, and when in doubt, you canturn to sports, right?
unknown (13:53):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (13:53):
Looks like the Cowboys probably won't beat the
Eagles this year.
SPEAKER_01 (13:57):
There you go.
SPEAKER_00 (13:58):
Way to go, Dak.
Right?
Like you can turn it tosomething that's just not at all
about politics, if you can.
Uh, and if it has to be a randomcomment that you just throw out
there to diffuse, that's fine.
People are gonna be way moreengaged in a fun conversation
that's a debate about sportsthan they are about a
(14:22):
conversation about politics thatisn't so fun.
SPEAKER_01 (14:25):
And depending on your family, it might work to
just say that same phrase everytime things start together.
SPEAKER_00 (14:33):
Right.
Like, what's your go-to?
Oh, how about those boys?
SPEAKER_01 (14:39):
Remember, we were talking about the cowboys?
Yeah.
Uh my family, that would totallyresonate.
They would all laugh and belike, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:47):
If you're not a sports family, then find
something out.
If find something else to do,like, you know, wow.
So um how about that pie?
Real good, yeah?
Excited?
Like, let's have some pie.
And everyone, it's it'll beawkward enough that people will
understand that you're trying toshift the conversation to
something else.
Um, if you need to pull out likea fun conversation game and play
(15:12):
at the table.
It is okay to have backupsupport.
We've talked about games before.
Um, there's some fun ones.
You can, there's one like thewould you rather questions?
Print out a list of those andhave them at the table, right?
Like do something to make surethat you can steer the
conversation in the rightdirection.
Um, now, so here's we've got 11of them.
(15:32):
These are exact again in thetime article.
The time article is linked inour show notes and the blog
post, so you can find them inboth places.
Um, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna endon this note that I thought was
really important from thearticle, the time article.
Remember that if your familymember won't let the election go
and is just determined to pick afight, you don't have to
participate in that.
(15:53):
Right?
Um, some people just they justhave to keep talking about it.
They're gonna ruminate over itand over it and over and over.
And this may even be someonewho's who you agree with
politically and they justthey're so upset and they just
can't let it go.
So uh you don't have toparticipate.
You can take control over whatyou can, which is yourself, but
(16:16):
uh that might mean that you justhave to remove yourself from the
situation, whatever that lookslike.
Uh if it means a diffusecomment, if it means uh getting
up and excusing yourself to goto the restroom, if it means
grabbing a puzzle and going andsitting in the living room,
whatever that has to be for you,it is okay.
Because again, this is thiswhole thing is about protecting
(16:37):
your peace in this particularsituation, which is a hard one.
SPEAKER_01 (16:42):
You could passive aggressively do the dishes nice
and loud.
Bang those pots and pans in thesink.
SPEAKER_00 (16:49):
You can.
Whatever you have to do, it'sokay.
Let's take a break.
For links to resources mentionedin this episode, head on over to
ck and gkpodcast.com slash blogto find everything you need.
And be sure to follow us onsocial media.
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
(17:10):
at CKNGK Podcast.
And now back to the show.
Woo! That was a heavy topic.
I hope it helps someone.
I hope if you like just pickone.
Just pick one line and just glomonto it.
It's okay.
Repeat it over and over again.
SPEAKER_01 (17:26):
Well, and if you have someone that is also not
interested in having theseconversations.
SPEAKER_00 (17:34):
That will help a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (17:35):
Right?
It really helps to have thatpartner.
I remember when um I was homewith a new baby, I had told my
mom and my d and my husband, um,if I ask for a cup of tea, that
means please get this person outof my face.
SPEAKER_00 (17:50):
Ooh, there you go.
That's a good one.
SPEAKER_01 (17:53):
And so I would say, okay, I think I'm gonna make a
cup of tea.
And they're like, Oh, you knowwhat?
I think it's time for you guysto go.
I'm sure the baby's hungry, youknow, and they would like wrap
up the conversation and get thevisitor out.
Um, so knowing that you havesomeone that you could lean on,
whether it be your partner or asibling that you uh um do well
(18:14):
with, and again, they don't haveto agree with you politically,
it's just someone that you know,hey, I'm I'm I need to be
rescued.
SPEAKER_00 (18:21):
Yeah, absolutely.
There's and there's absolutelynothing wrong with that either.
And another thing I would say isdo you remember when we talked
to Kimball Lewis from EmpoweringParents?
One of the things he talkedabout was practice, right?
Like practice saying the line.
So if you have to, you know,have someone walk you through
like a potential scenario, apartner who knows your family
(18:44):
and knows what their what theirtrigger lines would be for you.
You're it's okay to look in themirror, practice.
It's okay to say it with apartner, like, hey, we're not
talking about this, you know,just get confident saying he is
the one who said you do not haveto attend every fight you've
been invited.
Whatever you have to do.
(19:04):
Okay, all right.
Let's talk about obsessions,because Let me tell you what I'm
obsessed with.
SPEAKER_01 (19:08):
Let's hear it.
The Belafonte.
SPEAKER_00 (19:11):
Uh, what?
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
The Belafonte is the name of my brand new Subaru.
Oh okay.
So um she's just lovely.
Um, she's blue wilderness, whichis what I've always thought of.
She's a beautiful girl.
The plants are the seeds aremade of plants.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
She sits on a bed of algae, and it's uh it smells
really bad in there.
Just kidding.
SPEAKER_01 (19:38):
Uh, we got her um the same day that Abby did her
checkout dive for Scuba.
And um in The Life Aquatic withSteve Zizu, which you know is a
scuba dive, one of yourfavorites too, yeah.
One of my favorites, the boat iscalled the Belafonte, and it is
(19:59):
blue, so we decided to name ourcar the Belafonte.
SPEAKER_00 (20:02):
I like it, and it's a girl too, yes.
It has a sunroof.
Yeah, she does.
It's a girl, right?
She.
Okay.
Yeah.
She.
I don't want cars withoutsunroofs anymore.
I love them.
It's like one of my things.
I'm obsessed.
I I when my first car was aconvertible, it was a 1974 five
(20:23):
five MGB, which is a littleBritish baby.
Yeah, she was precious.
Um, I had her for like twomonths, and then in Colorado, it
doesn't make sense to drive acar that's that low to the
ground because you can't driveit in the snow.
So we traded it in.
And my next car, or we sold itto a friend who collected
vintage cars.
And then my next car had asunroof, and I drove that car
(20:45):
for like 12 years.
I'm never I will never go backto a car that doesn't have a
sunroof.
It doesn't, if it doesn't haveone, I don't want it.
I don't want it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:52):
It's my first sunroof.
I love it.
I love it so much.
SPEAKER_00 (20:54):
Even if you just crack it a little bit, just that
fresh, oh my god.
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:59):
And it has a turbo engine, which I never thought I
would be like this, but I'mlike, I love the turbo engine.
SPEAKER_00 (21:05):
Does it make the noise?
Like, do you get it all excitedbecause you can hear it coming
up or no?
SPEAKER_01 (21:10):
It goes so fast.
It goes so that'd be bad for mylead foot.
Oh man, I love it so much.
I'm like, oh, I'll like racesomeone off the line.
Like, oh, I I got up to 30 milesan hour way faster than you.
SPEAKER_00 (21:23):
Like, and then you both stop at the same red light,
and that person's like, way togo, friend.
You had to go fast, and nowwe're both in the same light.
Good job.
SPEAKER_01 (21:31):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:32):
Um, this is not related only except the name,
but um, when Sam was little, hehad a little blue elephant that
stayed in the car all the time,and his name was Harry Elefante.
SPEAKER_01 (21:46):
Oh, love it.
Love it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
Because of, yeah.
Anyway, um my current obsessionright now is getting decorated
for Christmas, and that mightseem early to y'all because
it's, you know, not Thanksgivingyet.
But um, you and I are going on acruise over Thanksgiving, and we
always our family alwaysdecorates the day after
Thanksgiving, and we won't behere.
(22:11):
And I know Okay, so Abby askedif we could decorate before we
go.
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
I'm like, oh, that's just one more thing I'm gonna
do.
SPEAKER_00 (22:17):
I know, and it's let me tell you, it is stressing me
out.
I did do the Christmas tree lastyear, uh, and it took me four
days last year because I had to,the lights kept going out.
Now, I did the Christmas treeyesterday in like three hours.
And and there were plenty oflights that were going out, but
(22:37):
this time, for whatever reason,when I would replace the bulb,
it would actually work.
Oh, and I got smart and stoppedtrying to like I would replace
the bulb, see if it worked.
If it didn't work, then I justtossed the bulb in the
recycling.
Like I didn't try to hang on toit and then keep testing it in
other things.
Like, just let it go.
Like, it's a Christmas lightbulb.
(22:58):
It's they come, you get extrasin every time you buy lights.
Like, just let it go.
I have like probably 30 littlebaby light bulbs that I can just
test it.
Like, so anyway, the tree isstill on this morning, which is
amazing because last year itwould last about two hours, and
then I would have to go through.
I think I had to take off allthe lights maybe three times
(23:20):
last year.
So anyway, the rest of theChristmas decor is going up.
SPEAKER_01 (23:25):
It's not it is 12 feet tall and it is not going up
before.
SPEAKER_00 (23:28):
Oh, yeah, you guys have a big one.
Ours is nine feet, so like wecan, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (23:31):
And I also it requires climbing the stairs.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, no, that's a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
Uh I will say this.
I don't know how you do yourChristmas lights.
I'm a I am a I don't just likegently lay the lights on the
branches.
Like, that is not for me.
I can't do that.
I have to, I have to be verydeliberate and intentional about
how I do them.
I do the trunk is all white sothat it has what my mom and I
respectfully call the innerglow.
(23:59):
Uh we we revel in the inner glowof the tree.
And then the outside lights arecolor, but I used to wrap them
around each layer going up anddown.
Um, like I would start at thebottom and then go all the way
around the tree, kind of like aspiral, like ice cream cone sort
of thing.
Um, I stopped doing that, andnow I go up and down.
(24:22):
So I'll go all the way up andall the way down and all the way
and like kind of go back andforth.
It makes the lights go onfaster.
It's more efficient with theamount of lights that you have,
and it's easier to take themoff.
SPEAKER_01 (24:37):
So um we have this thing called a pre-lit tree.
SPEAKER_00 (24:40):
I know they don't have enough lights on them for
me.
If I had a pre-lit tree, I wouldstill put more lights on it.
Because I, my favorite thingever is when there's no lights
on in the house except for theChristmas tree, and it lights up
the whole stinking room.
Like that's my favorite thing.
Yeah, no, we don't know morelights.
That's why I don't do pre-littrees because I want I yeah.
(25:03):
That's it's just me.
I need more lights.
Anyway, that's my obsession isdecorating for Christmas.
SPEAKER_01 (25:09):
Okay, here's my gem.
I am reading a book called TheDisappearing Spoon.
Okay, it is about the periodictable, it's little vignettes
about how the uh periodic tablewas uh put together and then
stories about each of theelements.
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
And it is riveting.
SPEAKER_00 (25:30):
Sounds boring.
SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
Well, that's it.
Every person that I've read itaround is like, doesn't that
make you want to fall asleep?
Isn't that boring?
And I'm like, no, it's so good.
SPEAKER_00 (25:41):
I have gotten into one science book, and it was The
Immortal Life of Henrietta Lax,but otherwise, I I mean I can't,
I haven't gotten into but okay.
I mean, disappearing spoon, Idon't get it.
SPEAKER_01 (25:52):
But so my gem has happened multiple times.
SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
So people are saying, aren't you bored out of
your book?
SPEAKER_01 (25:56):
Don't you think that book is boring?
And I have to say, no, it'samazing.
SPEAKER_00 (26:00):
Oh my gosh.
Okay, well, speaking of amazing,I'm gonna have a little personal
celebration.
Um, and this is more personalthan I think we usually get, but
I'm just gonna say it.
Um, I am somebody who at my40-year-old mammogram, yay for
being 40, um, there's just alittle cluster of something
(26:20):
that's going on, right?
And I had to have a follow-updiagnostic mammogram, and then
they said, okay, this looks okayfor now, but we're concerned I
we want you to come back in sixmonths.
So I had my six-month follow-upthe other day, and everything
looks clean right now.
So it's not perfect.
It that that little cluster ofstuff is still there, but it
hasn't changed.
(26:41):
But they can watch it, andthey're just watching it.
And so that's really good thatit hasn't changed in six months,
and I'm celebrating that.
And if you haven't already, Iknow we passed uh breast cancer
awareness month, but frankly,every month should be that
month.
So check yourself if you haven'talready.
And if you're over 40 and youhaven't booked your first
mammogram, this is your reminderto please go do that.
(27:02):
Also, it's not so bad.
It used to be worse.
I had a mammogram when I was 28uh for what I would consider to
be a similar issue.
Um that one really hurt.
I don't know if I just wasn'tknow I didn't know what to
expect, or I think thetechnology has really improved,
frankly, um, where they don'thave to do what they've had to
(27:22):
do.
But uh it is kind of wild to seethe amount of pressure they put
on you.
Like they'll show you in pounds,like how how heavy the pressure
is on yourself.
Um but it does I always justtake a couple of Motrin before I
go and then go in, and I reallydon't have an issue.
It doesn't hurt.
SPEAKER_01 (27:38):
And I will tell you, uh, the clinic I went to was
also super fast.
Yes, it doesn't take very longmy appointment meant something.
I got there at the time, checkedin, and was taken right back.
And it the whole squish is like10 minutes.
Yeah, it's not bad.
SPEAKER_00 (27:53):
It's really not bad at all.
SPEAKER_01 (27:55):
So if you haven't done it because it's producing
anxiety for you, does it causepain?
Absolutely.
But is it uh very hard?
And the pain is temporary.
And let me tell you this (28:06):
I just got an immunization and it hurt
when I got it because it's aneedle, and now my arm is still
sore.
That's not how a mammogram is.
Does not have residual sorenessafter the mammogram.
After I was uh dressed again, Iwas fine.
SPEAKER_00 (28:22):
Yeah, it's really it's super easy.
I would just highly recommendgoing.
Just go get it done.
SPEAKER_01 (28:27):
Get it done.
SPEAKER_00 (28:28):
All right.
Your insurance covers it, it'sfree.
Yep.
And if it's a diagnostic one,they'll tell you the results
before you walk out the door.
So you don't have to go home andfeel like you're in agony just
waiting for information.
So that's really nice.
That's what happened with me.
So it's nice.
Okay, so cheers to a cleanmamogram.
SPEAKER_01 (28:48):
Make good choices.
SPEAKER_00 (28:49):
And uh protect your peace.
You can do this.
And happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Bye.
It's Tuesday.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Yeah, it is.
Let's do this.
Uh, we are so glad you're heretoday.
Today we are talking about whatto say when the family talk at
the gatherings turns towardspolitics, and you just can't
even.
So hopefully this is coming outjust in time for you to listen
(00:24):
to it before Thanksgiving on theroad trip.
Thanksgiving over the river andthrough the woods to
grandmother's house, you know?
So let's do this.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
All right.
But before we do that, Caitlin,what are you doing in January?
I want to discuss the state ofour Oh goodness.
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
That's Jenny, my glowingly tricky warrior.
I don't know.
It's it's a you know, it's agenerator that does this.
I'm gonna have to start doing itmyself because some of these are
just so random that I just can'teven so.
SPEAKER_01 (00:59):
Okay.
Well, let me tell you, politicalpickup lines, there's a lot of
them out there.
Ew.
And some of them uh are not asmiddle of the road as let's
discuss the state of our union.
SPEAKER_00 (01:11):
Ew.
Okay, so um again, as Imentioned, we're talking about
what to say at family gatheringswhen the talk turns towards
politics and you are just not onthe same page as your family.
So today's sources are um twopieces.
One is um this lovely Instagramaccount called Kind Minds Smart
Hearts, uh, kindminds underscoresmart hearts.
(01:34):
And it's run by a woman namedJackie Sentien, and I love her.
She's got really nice parentingtips, and she also shares funny
memes from parents.
So um check her out.
And the other, the the heavilycited uh source today is 11
Things to say to your relativewhose politics you hate uh by
Angela Hott in Time magazine,which was a fabulous article.
(01:57):
And um I'm the blog post forthis episode is probably gonna
be pretty limited to go readthat article, but just in case
uh you'll be able to find thethe video from Jackie in the
blog post, and um, I wouldhighly recommend that you read
the article, it's very helpful.
Um before I get to that, I dowant to acknowledge that this
election was tough for a lot ofpeople, myself included.
(02:20):
Um and as a result, I uh tookthis article to heart.
Um, I firmly believe in doingwhat you can to protect your
peace during this time.
Um, and and so that's what kindof this is about.
And and as Jackie from KindMinds Smart Hearts reminded me,
the holidays are temporary.
(02:41):
Um, it is okay to put uptemporary barriers to protect
yourself.
It's okay to prioritize yourmental health.
Um, she she ends this video thatI'm gonna put in the blog post
for this episode by saying, youknow, one of my friends, very
wise sons, said, Um, I thinkI've made enough memories with
this person.
(03:01):
Oh wow.
If that's you, that's okay,right?
Um, otherwise, just rememberthis is temporary uh and you
know, ultimately the goal is tobe able to move forward.
So that's the hope here.
SPEAKER_01 (03:16):
Um I will tell you, like I um in the fall of 16, my
dad started a conversation withis it okay to talk about the
election?
SPEAKER_00 (03:28):
Very interesting.
SPEAKER_01 (03:29):
And I was like, wow, thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (03:31):
That's a very respectful way to go about this.
Very respectful, and I lovethat.
Um, and we're gonna get to that.
But the thing is, uh, somepeople are saying, I'm not going
to family get-togethers.
And I'm not here to tell youwhether or not you can you do
that.
Again, as I said, I believe inprotecting your peace.
So if that means that you can'tdo it, then that's what that
(03:54):
means.
Okay.
No, I get it.
Um, but it is really difficultto opt out of family
get-togethers.
So here are some ways to protectyour peace when you do have to
attend.
Okay.
Uh, one is to make yourintentions clear ahead of time
by saying point blank, I won'tbe talking about politics today.
Perfect.
Okay.
(04:14):
You are emphasizing that youwant to keep the focus on the
kids or on the festivities orwhatever, and you're gonna ask
straight up for a commitment toavoid talking about it.
Okay.
And chances are it's gonna comeup anyway.
And when it does, you can say,okay, that's enough of that.
Pass the gravy or whatever, optout.
Right.
(04:34):
Or um remind everyone, hey, youknow, we are not talking about
that here today.
And let it go.
Okay.
Um, so that's the first one.
I won't be talking aboutpolitics today.
The second one is uh, if you'rechoosing empathy, can you tell
me a story that helps meunderstand how you came to
(04:55):
believe that?
So here's what the article says.
It says asking for the storybehind someone's beliefs can
help us remember that our familymembers are complex and that
their ideas come from a placethat we might recognize, even if
we don't necessarily subscribeto those beliefs.
So the example given here ismaybe I disagree with my uncle
deeply, deeply, deeply aboutguns, but his story about his
(05:17):
sense of accomplishment andbelonging after shooting his
grandfather's rifle for thefirst time might help me
remember kind of where he'scoming from, right?
Right.
Um just as we want people tohave empathy for how we feel,
the best way to do that is tomodel empathy ourselves, right?
So there we go.
(05:38):
Um this one, this one I kind oflike because it feels a little a
little petty.
I don't like it.
Um but here we go.
It's if I had heard only whatwas in your newsfeed, I'm sure
I'd think the same thing, butI've had different experiences
in my life.
SPEAKER_01 (05:59):
Uh you could even just, if you wanted to dial it
back a little bit, you can justsay, I've had different
experiences in my life.
SPEAKER_00 (06:05):
You could, yeah.
You really could.
Um, so one of the sources uhcited in the Time article is
someone named Neilan Parker,who's the executive director of
Common Ground USA, which is anorganization that's dedicated to
building peace.
Um considers this a very gentlereminder that even the most
compelling news stories don'tnecessarily apply to equally to
(06:26):
everyone's lives, right?
Because everyone has differentexperiences.
Um here's another one, numberfour.
What kind of compromise orsolution might work for both
sides?
Uh and maybe reframing it as howdo we work to come up with a
solution that's inclusive andthat's helpful for most people?
(06:48):
Um you're you're disarming themby putting them on the same
team, right?
You're you're saying thatultimately we have the same
goal.
Let's work together toward tocome to that.
Okay, number five.
And this is one of Jenny's linesthat she's used on me.
I've heard her use it on herhusband.
It's it tends to be adistracting line for her for her
sometimes, but the line is tellme more.
(07:11):
Or you can say more about that.
Say say more.
Okay.
Um even though you might notwant to hear more, so this might
be a little counterintuitive.
Um if you can convince someonethat you actually do want to
hear what they have to say, umit it disarms them, but they
(07:32):
stop ranting about it and theystart talking about it.
Um and and honestly, it's kindof it's kind of calling them out
on the on anything that'sinflammatory.
They'll they'll chill a littlebit, is the usual reaction.
Okay.
And maybe they'll actuallylisten to what you have to say
also because you've given them achance to do it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:50):
If they're coming from a space where they feel
like they don't have permissionto share or they don't have the
space to talk, and you give themopen permission and say, No, I
want to hear from you, tell memore.
It really does turn off thatdefense.
It does, yeah, and make it aconversation rather than a
(08:11):
lecture.
SPEAKER_00 (08:12):
And they're not backed into a corner anymore,
right?
Like that one of the things thatI've experienced in my
conversations with people whodisagree with me uh politically
is that the reaction tends to bevery defensive and backed into a
corner, uh, you know, lashingout, and and letting them have
the space outside of that cornertends to be very helpful.
(08:35):
And you just mentioned the wordpermission, and I'm gonna come
to that here.
This is number six.
Could I have permission to sharemy point of view?
Um, so this is part of acommonly used counseling
technique called elicit,provide, elicit.
And here's how it works (08:52):
first you find out what someone else's
point of view is, then youprovide your own perspective,
and then you ask the otherperson for their reaction.
The reason this works is thatthe other person has actively
said, yes, I do want to hearwhat you have to say, right?
(09:13):
But if they say no, then don'tengage.
You don't have to.
You're not gonna you're notgonna convince anyone.
Why waste your breath if theydon't want to hear what you have
to say?
But interestingly, it's veryunlikely that someone's going to
say, No, I don't want to hearwhat you have to say.
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
Unless it's delivered as can I have
permission to share my point ofview?
SPEAKER_00 (09:36):
It's yeah, it's delivery matters.
Can I talk about what I believe?
Exactly.
Delivery matters.
Okay.
Number seven, I'd like to have achance to learn from each other
because I respect you and I seethe world differently.
Now I modified that line becausethe original line was I respect
you but see the worlddifferently.
(09:56):
And we've talked about this overand over again, right?
The word but often negates whatyou just said.
I'm sorry, but is not an I'msorry, right?
I love you but is not an I loveyou.
So if you change it to because Irespect you and see the world
differently, you've you'vecreated a situation where two
(10:21):
things can exist at the sametime, right?
SPEAKER_01 (10:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
So the point of that line is to let your family
members know that while youmight disagree, you still intend
to ground your discussion in aplace of respect.
And you genuinely want tounderstand where they're coming
from.
So here's the the caveat here.
Um you have to mean that.
You can't just say, and Irespect you and I see the world
(10:46):
differently, and then notactually show respect.
So if you if you don't want tolearn anything from them, then
please don't say that line,right?
Right.
Um, and another thing is thatline tends to be a little bit
disarming and and can often dothe the backing into the corner
thing.
So you might decide that you'llcontinue that discussion in
(11:08):
private.
Might just be better.
Okay, number eight.
I like this one.
Maybe we could revisit thisconversation when we're both
feeling more calm.
Uh if you're both on edge, walkaway.
Walk away.
(11:29):
And you can say, let's just takea break from this.
Cheers.
SPEAKER_01 (11:34):
Like, you know, or call yourself out and say, I can
feel myself getting heated.
Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_00 (11:39):
Put it on you.
SPEAKER_01 (11:40):
Don't I think I need a break.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
You just don't want to say something you're gonna
regret later.
So getting heated is just notthe right it's not the right
time to have thoseconversations.
Okay.
This is my default when I'mfeeling that I am losing control
of a situation.
Um here we go.
It's using humor, okay?
(12:04):
You can use humor anytime todiffuse any situation, but this
one was like kind of silly.
I mean, I'll vote for anyone whowill boost the economy, cut my
taxes, and prosecute people whoremove their shoes on an
airplane.
Right?
Change it.
Add a pet peeve in there, youknow.
Like people are gonna glom ontothat humor part, and they're
(12:24):
gonna be like, oh my gosh,that's the worst.
It's so gross, you know, or likeI'll I'll vote for anybody who
like says it's not okay forpeople to put their long, gross
hair over the edge of the seatand have it dangle into my like
tray table.
You know what I'm saying?
Stuff like that, or you know,it's really helpful.
SPEAKER_01 (12:42):
Because you're turning the conversation and um
someone with conversational andsocial savvy will recognize
that.
And hopefully there's someone inyour group who has that and will
follow your lead.
SPEAKER_00 (13:00):
Absolutely.
I think that people and peoplelike when everyone's in on the
joke, you know, like it it ittends to bring everybody back
together.
Like, I you you know, I've saidthis many times.
Like, I firmly believe thatthere is a love language that is
laughter, shared laughter.
SPEAKER_01 (13:16):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (13:17):
And I think that that's a a pretty common one for
a lot of people.
So anything you can do to kindof diffuse is going to be
helpful.
Um, along those same lines.
Um, this one was like for saybefore an election, I'll just be
glad when the campaigncommercials are over with.
But I am saying, uh, I'm justglad all the commercials and
(13:37):
text messages have stopped.
Yes.
You know, just everybody canagree with that statement
because they were awful.
Incessant.
Gosh, uh awful.
Um, and when in doubt, you canturn to sports, right?
unknown (13:53):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (13:53):
Looks like the Cowboys probably won't beat the
Eagles this year.
SPEAKER_01 (13:57):
There you go.
SPEAKER_00 (13:58):
Way to go, Dak.
Right?
Like you can turn it tosomething that's just not at all
about politics, if you can.
Uh, and if it has to be a randomcomment that you just throw out
there to diffuse, that's fine.
People are gonna be way moreengaged in a fun conversation
that's a debate about sportsthan they are about a
(14:22):
conversation about politics thatisn't so fun.
SPEAKER_01 (14:25):
And depending on your family, it might work to
just say that same phrase everytime things start together.
SPEAKER_00 (14:33):
Right.
Like, what's your go-to?
Oh, how about those boys?
SPEAKER_01 (14:39):
Remember, we were talking about the cowboys?
Yeah.
Uh my family, that would totallyresonate.
They would all laugh and belike, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:47):
If you're not a sports family, then find
something out.
If find something else to do,like, you know, wow.
So um how about that pie?
Real good, yeah?
Excited?
Like, let's have some pie.
And everyone, it's it'll beawkward enough that people will
understand that you're trying toshift the conversation to
something else.
Um, if you need to pull out likea fun conversation game and play
(15:12):
at the table.
It is okay to have backupsupport.
We've talked about games before.
Um, there's some fun ones.
You can, there's one like thewould you rather questions?
Print out a list of those andhave them at the table, right?
Like do something to make surethat you can steer the
conversation in the rightdirection.
Um, now, so here's we've got 11of them.
(15:32):
These are exact again in thetime article.
The time article is linked inour show notes and the blog
post, so you can find them inboth places.
Um, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna endon this note that I thought was
really important from thearticle, the time article.
Remember that if your familymember won't let the election go
and is just determined to pick afight, you don't have to
participate in that.
(15:53):
Right?
Um, some people just they justhave to keep talking about it.
They're gonna ruminate over itand over it and over and over.
And this may even be someonewho's who you agree with
politically and they justthey're so upset and they just
can't let it go.
So uh you don't have toparticipate.
You can take control over whatyou can, which is yourself, but
(16:16):
uh that might mean that you justhave to remove yourself from the
situation, whatever that lookslike.
Uh if it means a diffusecomment, if it means uh getting
up and excusing yourself to goto the restroom, if it means
grabbing a puzzle and going andsitting in the living room,
whatever that has to be for you,it is okay.
Because again, this is thiswhole thing is about protecting
(16:37):
your peace in this particularsituation, which is a hard one.
SPEAKER_01 (16:42):
You could passive aggressively do the dishes nice
and loud.
Bang those pots and pans in thesink.
SPEAKER_00 (16:49):
You can.
Whatever you have to do, it'sokay.
Let's take a break.
For links to resources mentionedin this episode, head on over to
ck and gkpodcast.com slash blogto find everything you need.
And be sure to follow us onsocial media.
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
(17:10):
at CKNGK Podcast.
And now back to the show.
Woo! That was a heavy topic.
I hope it helps someone.
I hope if you like just pickone.
Just pick one line and just glomonto it.
It's okay.
Repeat it over and over again.
SPEAKER_01 (17:26):
Well, and if you have someone that is also not
interested in having theseconversations.
SPEAKER_00 (17:34):
That will help a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (17:35):
Right?
It really helps to have thatpartner.
I remember when um I was homewith a new baby, I had told my
mom and my d and my husband, um,if I ask for a cup of tea, that
means please get this person outof my face.
SPEAKER_00 (17:50):
Ooh, there you go.
That's a good one.
SPEAKER_01 (17:53):
And so I would say, okay, I think I'm gonna make a
cup of tea.
And they're like, Oh, you knowwhat?
I think it's time for you guysto go.
I'm sure the baby's hungry, youknow, and they would like wrap
up the conversation and get thevisitor out.
Um, so knowing that you havesomeone that you could lean on,
whether it be your partner or asibling that you uh um do well
(18:14):
with, and again, they don't haveto agree with you politically,
it's just someone that you know,hey, I'm I'm I need to be
rescued.
SPEAKER_00 (18:21):
Yeah, absolutely.
There's and there's absolutelynothing wrong with that either.
And another thing I would say isdo you remember when we talked
to Kimball Lewis from EmpoweringParents?
One of the things he talkedabout was practice, right?
Like practice saying the line.
So if you have to, you know,have someone walk you through
like a potential scenario, apartner who knows your family
(18:44):
and knows what their what theirtrigger lines would be for you.
You're it's okay to look in themirror, practice.
It's okay to say it with apartner, like, hey, we're not
talking about this, you know,just get confident saying he is
the one who said you do not haveto attend every fight you've
been invited.
Whatever you have to do.
(19:04):
Okay, all right.
Let's talk about obsessions,because Let me tell you what I'm
obsessed with.
SPEAKER_01 (19:08):
Let's hear it.
The Belafonte.
SPEAKER_00 (19:11):
Uh, what?
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
The Belafonte is the name of my brand new Subaru.
Oh okay.
So um she's just lovely.
Um, she's blue wilderness, whichis what I've always thought of.
She's a beautiful girl.
The plants are the seeds aremade of plants.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
She sits on a bed of algae, and it's uh it smells
really bad in there.
Just kidding.
SPEAKER_01 (19:38):
Uh, we got her um the same day that Abby did her
checkout dive for Scuba.
And um in The Life Aquatic withSteve Zizu, which you know is a
scuba dive, one of yourfavorites too, yeah.
One of my favorites, the boat iscalled the Belafonte, and it is
(19:59):
blue, so we decided to name ourcar the Belafonte.
SPEAKER_00 (20:02):
I like it, and it's a girl too, yes.
It has a sunroof.
Yeah, she does.
It's a girl, right?
She.
Okay.
Yeah.
She.
I don't want cars withoutsunroofs anymore.
I love them.
It's like one of my things.
I'm obsessed.
I I when my first car was aconvertible, it was a 1974 five
(20:23):
five MGB, which is a littleBritish baby.
Yeah, she was precious.
Um, I had her for like twomonths, and then in Colorado, it
doesn't make sense to drive acar that's that low to the
ground because you can't driveit in the snow.
So we traded it in.
And my next car, or we sold itto a friend who collected
vintage cars.
And then my next car had asunroof, and I drove that car
(20:45):
for like 12 years.
I'm never I will never go backto a car that doesn't have a
sunroof.
It doesn't, if it doesn't haveone, I don't want it.
I don't want it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:52):
It's my first sunroof.
I love it.
I love it so much.
SPEAKER_00 (20:54):
Even if you just crack it a little bit, just that
fresh, oh my god.
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:59):
And it has a turbo engine, which I never thought I
would be like this, but I'mlike, I love the turbo engine.
SPEAKER_00 (21:05):
Does it make the noise?
Like, do you get it all excitedbecause you can hear it coming
up or no?
SPEAKER_01 (21:10):
It goes so fast.
It goes so that'd be bad for mylead foot.
Oh man, I love it so much.
I'm like, oh, I'll like racesomeone off the line.
Like, oh, I I got up to 30 milesan hour way faster than you.
SPEAKER_00 (21:23):
Like, and then you both stop at the same red light,
and that person's like, way togo, friend.
You had to go fast, and nowwe're both in the same light.
Good job.
SPEAKER_01 (21:31):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:32):
Um, this is not related only except the name,
but um, when Sam was little, hehad a little blue elephant that
stayed in the car all the time,and his name was Harry Elefante.
SPEAKER_01 (21:46):
Oh, love it.
Love it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
Because of, yeah.
Anyway, um my current obsessionright now is getting decorated
for Christmas, and that mightseem early to y'all because
it's, you know, not Thanksgivingyet.
But um, you and I are going on acruise over Thanksgiving, and we
always our family alwaysdecorates the day after
Thanksgiving, and we won't behere.
(22:11):
And I know Okay, so Abby askedif we could decorate before we
go.
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
I'm like, oh, that's just one more thing I'm gonna
do.
SPEAKER_00 (22:17):
I know, and it's let me tell you, it is stressing me
out.
I did do the Christmas tree lastyear, uh, and it took me four
days last year because I had to,the lights kept going out.
Now, I did the Christmas treeyesterday in like three hours.
And and there were plenty oflights that were going out, but
(22:37):
this time, for whatever reason,when I would replace the bulb,
it would actually work.
Oh, and I got smart and stoppedtrying to like I would replace
the bulb, see if it worked.
If it didn't work, then I justtossed the bulb in the
recycling.
Like I didn't try to hang on toit and then keep testing it in
other things.
Like, just let it go.
Like, it's a Christmas lightbulb.
(22:58):
It's they come, you get extrasin every time you buy lights.
Like, just let it go.
I have like probably 30 littlebaby light bulbs that I can just
test it.
Like, so anyway, the tree isstill on this morning, which is
amazing because last year itwould last about two hours, and
then I would have to go through.
I think I had to take off allthe lights maybe three times
(23:20):
last year.
So anyway, the rest of theChristmas decor is going up.
SPEAKER_01 (23:25):
It's not it is 12 feet tall and it is not going up
before.
SPEAKER_00 (23:28):
Oh, yeah, you guys have a big one.
Ours is nine feet, so like wecan, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (23:31):
And I also it requires climbing the stairs.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, no, that's a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
Uh I will say this.
I don't know how you do yourChristmas lights.
I'm a I am a I don't just likegently lay the lights on the
branches.
Like, that is not for me.
I can't do that.
I have to, I have to be verydeliberate and intentional about
how I do them.
I do the trunk is all white sothat it has what my mom and I
respectfully call the innerglow.
(23:59):
Uh we we revel in the inner glowof the tree.
And then the outside lights arecolor, but I used to wrap them
around each layer going up anddown.
Um, like I would start at thebottom and then go all the way
around the tree, kind of like aspiral, like ice cream cone sort
of thing.
Um, I stopped doing that, andnow I go up and down.
(24:22):
So I'll go all the way up andall the way down and all the way
and like kind of go back andforth.
It makes the lights go onfaster.
It's more efficient with theamount of lights that you have,
and it's easier to take themoff.
SPEAKER_01 (24:37):
So um we have this thing called a pre-lit tree.
SPEAKER_00 (24:40):
I know they don't have enough lights on them for
me.
If I had a pre-lit tree, I wouldstill put more lights on it.
Because I, my favorite thingever is when there's no lights
on in the house except for theChristmas tree, and it lights up
the whole stinking room.
Like that's my favorite thing.
Yeah, no, we don't know morelights.
That's why I don't do pre-littrees because I want I yeah.
(25:03):
That's it's just me.
I need more lights.
Anyway, that's my obsession isdecorating for Christmas.
SPEAKER_01 (25:09):
Okay, here's my gem.
I am reading a book called TheDisappearing Spoon.
Okay, it is about the periodictable, it's little vignettes
about how the uh periodic tablewas uh put together and then
stories about each of theelements.
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
And it is riveting.
SPEAKER_00 (25:30):
Sounds boring.
SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
Well, that's it.
Every person that I've read itaround is like, doesn't that
make you want to fall asleep?
Isn't that boring?
And I'm like, no, it's so good.
SPEAKER_00 (25:41):
I have gotten into one science book, and it was The
Immortal Life of Henrietta Lax,but otherwise, I I mean I can't,
I haven't gotten into but okay.
I mean, disappearing spoon, Idon't get it.
SPEAKER_01 (25:52):
But so my gem has happened multiple times.
SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
So people are saying, aren't you bored out of
your book?
SPEAKER_01 (25:56):
Don't you think that book is boring?
And I have to say, no, it'samazing.
SPEAKER_00 (26:00):
Oh my gosh.
Okay, well, speaking of amazing,I'm gonna have a little personal
celebration.
Um, and this is more personalthan I think we usually get, but
I'm just gonna say it.
Um, I am somebody who at my40-year-old mammogram, yay for
being 40, um, there's just alittle cluster of something
(26:20):
that's going on, right?
And I had to have a follow-updiagnostic mammogram, and then
they said, okay, this looks okayfor now, but we're concerned I
we want you to come back in sixmonths.
So I had my six-month follow-upthe other day, and everything
looks clean right now.
So it's not perfect.
It that that little cluster ofstuff is still there, but it
hasn't changed.
(26:41):
But they can watch it, andthey're just watching it.
And so that's really good thatit hasn't changed in six months,
and I'm celebrating that.
And if you haven't already, Iknow we passed uh breast cancer
awareness month, but frankly,every month should be that
month.
So check yourself if you haven'talready.
And if you're over 40 and youhaven't booked your first
mammogram, this is your reminderto please go do that.
(27:02):
Also, it's not so bad.
It used to be worse.
I had a mammogram when I was 28uh for what I would consider to
be a similar issue.
Um that one really hurt.
I don't know if I just wasn'tknow I didn't know what to
expect, or I think thetechnology has really improved,
frankly, um, where they don'thave to do what they've had to
(27:22):
do.
But uh it is kind of wild to seethe amount of pressure they put
on you.
Like they'll show you in pounds,like how how heavy the pressure
is on yourself.
Um but it does I always justtake a couple of Motrin before I
go and then go in, and I reallydon't have an issue.
It doesn't hurt.
SPEAKER_01 (27:38):
And I will tell you, uh, the clinic I went to was
also super fast.
Yes, it doesn't take very longmy appointment meant something.
I got there at the time, checkedin, and was taken right back.
And it the whole squish is like10 minutes.
Yeah, it's not bad.
SPEAKER_00 (27:53):
It's really not bad at all.
SPEAKER_01 (27:55):
So if you haven't done it because it's producing
anxiety for you, does it causepain?
Absolutely.
But is it uh very hard?
And the pain is temporary.
And let me tell you this (28:06):
I just got an immunization and it hurt
when I got it because it's aneedle, and now my arm is still
sore.
That's not how a mammogram is.
Does not have residual sorenessafter the mammogram.
After I was uh dressed again, Iwas fine.
SPEAKER_00 (28:22):
Yeah, it's really it's super easy.
I would just highly recommendgoing.
Just go get it done.
SPEAKER_01 (28:27):
Get it done.
SPEAKER_00 (28:28):
All right.
Your insurance covers it, it'sfree.
Yep.
And if it's a diagnostic one,they'll tell you the results
before you walk out the door.
So you don't have to go home andfeel like you're in agony just
waiting for information.
So that's really nice.
That's what happened with me.
So it's nice.
Okay, so cheers to a cleanmamogram.
SPEAKER_01 (28:48):
Make good choices.
SPEAKER_00 (28:49):
And uh protect your peace.
You can do this.
And happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Bye.
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