From Eating Disorder To Advocate: Reclaiming Self Beyond Sport And Social Media

Ever tried to introduce yourself without saying what you do, where you’re from, or what you’ve achieved? That discomfort is the doorway we walk through with Sophia, a 23-year-old mental health creator, researcher, and former college athlete who left her team to pursue eating disorder recovery—and ended up rebuilding her identity from the inside out.

We trace the messy middle: panic in fast-casual parking lots, a banana that wouldn’t stay down, and the steady exposure work that turned survival into momentum. Sophia shares how she reframed control, moved the disorder’s voice from driver’s seat to trunk, and found quiet victories like a holiday without panic for the first time in years. Along the way, she gives a practical identity framework—avowed vs ascribed—that helps anyone in fitness or recovery stop outsourcing self-worth to roles, numbers, and applause.

The conversation takes aim at curated bodies and AI-made “candids.” We break down why side-by-side posts—posed vs unposed—matter, how hyperreal images are distorting baseline expectations, and what creators can do to protect younger audiences from dysmorphia and comparison spirals. We also talk coaching, sports psychology, and the line between being helpful and hinging your worth on usefulness. Sophia previews her next research steps in experimental psychology and her ongoing essays on Happy You’re Here, where she writes about recovery, dating, and early adulthood with clarity and bite.

If you’re navigating weight, identity, or the pressure to be “useful,” this is a warm, unposed invitation to build a self that stays when the roles shift. Listen, share with a friend who needs a nudge toward hope, and leave a review to help more people find these conversations.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_04 (00:36):
Is that like your fun fact at parties that you
know what TNT stands for?

SPEAKER_03 (00:41):
Toluene.
Trinitr toluene.
Okay.
That's what I'm saying.
And then you've got to stop theconversation to make sure that
it's it's correct.
Yeah, I wanted to make sure I'mdoing it right.
Because I remember that from uma kid's movie when I I watched
it when I was like nine.
And so I was trying to rememberif I I actually remembered it
correctly.
What kids' movie are theygiving?
Uh it was.

(01:03):
What's that movie where the kidis like a billionaire or
something?
There's like a kid and he's likeRichie Rich, Richie Rich, Richie
Rich.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09):
Richie Rich.

SPEAKER_03 (01:10):
Richie Rich.
Yeah.
So they have a bomb on the planeand it's TNT, and they the thing
says trinatural tallying, andthey go, Oh, TNT.

SPEAKER_00 (01:17):
And that's a crazy kid's movie.

unknown (01:21):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:24):
Yeah, they're on a plane and it says they're like,
What's this?
And the computer goes,trinatural tallying.
They're like, what the hell istrinatural?
TNT, and then they throw it outof the plane.

SPEAKER_00 (01:33):
Oh, explode the civilians below them?

SPEAKER_03 (01:35):
Just get away.
Yeah, it doesn't actually killthem.
In the kids' movie, there isn'tthat much gore and whatnot, but
they should have added a little.
It's whatever.
It's fine.
It was a good movie.

SPEAKER_02 (01:44):
Welcome to another episode of Liam trying to blow
himself up while cooking.

SPEAKER_03 (01:48):
It's more of Liam trying to remember a kid's movie
from the 90s that I vaguelyremember one part of.
And why do I only remember thatpart?
Who knows?
It's weird how the brain works.
Like you'll remember like lyricsfrom like a 2001 song, but you
can't remember something youreally need to remember in the
moment.
Do you think those people thatlike can remember everything?
Blessing or curse?
I mean, it's kind of both,right?

(02:10):
But like how much is it ablessing versus a curse?

SPEAKER_01 (02:12):
I have a photographic memory and it's
kind of a little bit of both.

SPEAKER_03 (02:15):
Okay, so then how much?
Yeah, this this is a good, thisis good then.
So, like, how much like 60%blessing, 40% curse, 80%?
Where are we at?
We're percentage.
Because of course it's gonna beboth.

SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
Like when I was still a student, it was like
80-20 because I could likevisualize PowerPoint slides and
exactly where it was highlightedand the number of the slide, and
that was a blessing, but now Ijust have really weird shit in
my head.
Like I have all like the firsthundred digits of pie memorized.

SPEAKER_03 (02:39):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (02:40):
Why?
Has that helped?

SPEAKER_04 (02:42):
I have the first 50 things to songs to wear pants
to.

SPEAKER_01 (02:52):
I would nail that.
I have um the preamble of theconstitution, all 50 states in
alphabetical order.

SPEAKER_03 (02:57):
Because I remember watching, there was like a kid,
and he had a photograph.
He had a he had one of thosememories, so you remember
everything.
And he was like crying one day,and the parent, his dad asked
him why, and he's like, Today isthe anniversary of the day you
yelled at me.
Like you remember like two yearsago when he just like yelled at
him.
I'm like, that sounds awful.
I remember seeing that soundshorrible.
I don't want that.
I want to forget most things.

(03:18):
Give me the good stuff toremember and just forget the
rest of the stuff.
I don't, I don't need all that.
I don't need all that.
I remember when I saw Jesus inmy banana peel.
I'd like to remember that.
That was a fun moment.
It was a full-on, I got apicture of it.
It was totally Jesus in mybanana peel.
I don't want to remember thattime.
The rest of the stuff, just getrid of it.
I don't care what I learned inlike chemistry.
I don't need any of that shit.

(03:39):
Right?
It's all numbers and stupidscience-y stuff.
Get rid of it.

SPEAKER_02 (03:43):
The worst part for me is the curse is listening to
somebody tell me the same storyfor the tenth time because they
don't remember telling me it.

SPEAKER_03 (03:51):
I feel like a lot of people can get it, can can
relate to that though, becausethere's people that just tell
the same story.
I I'm sure I'm yeah, I'm sureI'm one of them.
Like that's that's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (03:59):
I just tell the fuck.

SPEAKER_03 (04:01):
Yeah, exactly.
And you don't remember what Idon't remember what I t
everything I told one person.
Again, I remember almost nothingbesides the Jesus banana.
Of course, I'm not gonnaremember what I told them, told
this person about this story orwhatever, right?

unknown (04:13):
There.

SPEAKER_04 (04:13):
Well, you know, how about we we give everybody
something to remember and youtell us, Sophia, who you are and
what it is that you do.

SPEAKER_02 (04:20):
I think Mike absolutely did not tell us
anything about you.
He had surprise guest.

SPEAKER_04 (04:27):
This is yeah, accidental surprise guest, first
time this has happened.

SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
Really entertaining, actually.
I love that.
I can say anything, you guyswould believe me.

SPEAKER_05 (04:36):
Yep, I won't refute it.

SPEAKER_01 (04:38):
Okay, um, hello, my name is Sophia.
I'm a 23-year-old contentcreator.
I work in the realm of mentalhealth and suicide prevention.
I started my socials five yearsago when I quit my college
volleyball team to pursue eatingdisorder recovery.
And what started as just a smallpersonal little passion project
quickly turned into a widespreadnetwork of mental health

(05:02):
advocacy.
And I've been doing it for fiveyears now.
I've done work with like the JEDFoundation, Stay Here, and just
a lot of work in body image andsuicide prevention, and then
that then pursued my interest inSTEM and sports psychology
because I wanted to understandwhy I felt the way I felt in my
sport, and I wanted to be theperson that could have supported

(05:22):
me instead of having to quit mysport.
And so then I got my bachelor'sof science in kinesiology and I
specialized in sportspsychology, and now I work
full-time as a social mediamanager.
I'm a researcher on abiomechanical research team, and
I gave a TED talk in April ofthis year.

SPEAKER_03 (05:39):
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah.
What's given a TED talk?
Can you say for a second?

SPEAKER_02 (05:43):
Holy ones, can we address the fact that you went
from just you were like, I'msmacking volleyballs around, and
then suddenly you're like, uh,you know what?
I'm done with this.
I'm gonna give a TED talk.

SPEAKER_00 (05:53):
Yeah, just a casual little segue.

SPEAKER_02 (05:54):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (05:55):
Yeah.
It's a normal path.

SPEAKER_03 (05:57):
Everybody knows.
What's up with the TED Talk?
Do they set you up?
They're like, okay, here's allthe things, get up there, do
your stuff.
Do they super direct you witheverything?
And they're just like, nah, wingthe whatever you feel like.
Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 (06:07):
It was an interesting process.
I was recruited to speak inJanuary of 24 for a like um a
TEDx located in Sacramento.
And so I had a year and a halfof speech prep, and they set me
up with like a coach, a mentor,like someone that really guided
me through the process ofcreating my speech.
And then we had rehearsals onZoom calls and like dress
rehearsals.

(06:28):
Then I flew out to Sacramentoand they like mic'd me up, and
it was this huge production, butthere was no teleprompter, so it
was all just fully.
Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_03 (06:37):
Okay, well, oh, perfect.
So you have a photographicmemory, right?
So, okay, just do your entireTED talk.
Everybody else, we're gonna muteour mics in three, two, one.
Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 (06:44):
The way I actually could.
Who are you if you are not whatyou do?
I could just go.
It's about a 15-minute talk.

SPEAKER_03 (06:50):
If you guys have time for it, is there a place
that we can mute myself?
Gee, I thought we were doing, Ithought we had a plan.
Of course.
That was the plan.
That's our plan.

SPEAKER_01 (06:59):
So unfortunately, the footage from my event was
corrupted.
And what?

SPEAKER_02 (07:04):
Oh no.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (07:06):
What?
Yeah, so I have an iPhone videothat my mom took of my speech,
but the actual boost video wascorrupted.

SPEAKER_03 (07:15):
That's oh, that's horrible, but also fantastic
that you have something thatjust looks like it came from
like a Chinese like version ofit or whatever, where it's just
like a little bit of a channel.
No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 (07:24):
It's like the Christmas concert in elementary
school.
That's my kid.

SPEAKER_01 (07:28):
It's like the meme girl scene with the mom with the
camcorder.
That's my mom.
And she is a gem.
But thankfully, I'm most likelydoing another TED talk in April
of next year, and hopefully thatwill have footage.

SPEAKER_03 (07:38):
Yeah, you might want to you might want to check in
with that with the peoplerecording beforehand, just to be
certain.

SPEAKER_02 (07:43):
But just in case, bring your mom.

SPEAKER_01 (07:44):
Yes, the mom and the tripod will be set up.

SPEAKER_04 (07:47):
Absolutely.
Now, what's the next one gonnabe about?
This one will be let's startwith the first one.
I don't think we really talkedabout what the first one is
about.

SPEAKER_03 (07:54):
I wanted to the whole thing, but we're not
allowed to, apparently.

SPEAKER_04 (07:57):
The episode might get corrupted.

SPEAKER_01 (07:59):
We can't drink sit like that.

SPEAKER_04 (08:01):
No.

SPEAKER_01 (08:02):
So the first one, I dissected the question of who
are you if you are not what youdo?
And so I did a deep dive intopersonal identity formation, and
I encouraged my audience tothink about how they would
introduce themselves as a personoutside of their external
identifiers.
So actually, I'll do this withyou guys.
I want to run you guys through abit of a thought experiment.

(08:23):
So I first want you to think ifI were just to come up to you on
the street and I asked, Who areyou?
But you cannot use yourprofession, your hometown, what
you studied in college.
You can't use anything that isexternal to you.
How would you introduce yourselfto me?

SPEAKER_02 (08:38):
I'm a robot.

SPEAKER_03 (08:39):
Okay, okay.
So we can't wait, wait, wait.
So I can't be like, I'm a guy.
What do I do?
What wait, I'm I'm curious.
Give me more details on this.
Like, what can I use now?

SPEAKER_01 (08:47):
So you can't use any external identifiers.
So you can't be like, oh, um,I'm a barista or I'm a content
creator or I'm a dad.
Those are just things that youdo.
It's not things that you are.
And so it's more I'm a cottagecheese fiend.

SPEAKER_03 (09:00):
What like am I allowed to use?

SPEAKER_01 (09:01):
What are my So I can give you my introduction if that
would help sparks.

SPEAKER_03 (09:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
Mine is hello, my name is Sophia.
I am a naturally extrovertedsoul who could truthfully make
friends with the tree if yougave me like two minutes.
I write a lot of poetry in myfree time.
It's given me a very deep corebelief that words have the power
to change lives.
I am someone who will alwaysbreak for birds and smile at

(09:27):
strangers, even if I know theywon't smile back, because I
believe that kindness should begiven for the sake of kindness
and never for the sake ofreciprocation.

SPEAKER_04 (09:35):
You had two years to prepare.
That's not fair.

unknown (09:37):
Fair.

SPEAKER_04 (09:38):
That was just poetry right there.
That's fantastic.
I I I I heavily resonate withwhat you're doing here because
this is a lot of what I injectinto my teaching as a coach
because it's just so important.
Like uh, for those who are justjoining here for the first time,
I I lost 110 pounds and I helpother people to do the same
thing.

(09:59):
But it's not just like diet andexercise, it's I'm working on
the brain, that one thing thatcreated a lot of our weight for
a lot of us out there.
And just giving someone caloriesto track doesn't fix all the
sadness that uh equaled all thecalories before.
So like Liam's like, I'm out.

(10:20):
We got too deep.
Liam did not want to describehimself.
No, no, he's gone.
No, he'll be back.
Uh, yeah, for those of you notwatching, Liam just dipped
suddenly.
He maybe he froze briefly.
But yeah, this is uh I I'm veryheavy on like establishing an
identity because I reallybelieve that the actions that we
take on are going to correlateto our identity very strongly.

(10:44):
So if you're a person who wantsto lose weight, but you kind of
just anticipate being the sameperson at the end as you were at
the beginning, it's your actionswill eventually line up with
that mentality.
So I I think it really isimportant to um internalize to
try to figure out like whatyou're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 (11:05):
Yeah, I'm gonna do that.

SPEAKER_04 (11:05):
So I really like that.

SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 (11:07):
So now after all that, you have to introduce
yourself.

SPEAKER_01 (11:09):
Come on, Mike.
What's your introduction?

SPEAKER_04 (11:11):
I am a helper.
I am a person who makesdecisions.
These are all things that uh Iused to not have.
Um the helper was it was more soat my behest rather than
something that I got to do.
It felt like something I had todo to earn my keep.
Um but it doesn't feel that wayanymore.
Um when I say I'm a person whomakes decisions, I always felt

(11:34):
like I I I had to be verycareful about things because I
might upset somebody, but I makedecisions despite it.
And I know that the enrichmentof myself will help the people
around me.
I I you know you can't put otherpeople's oxygen masks on first
before you put on your own.
I yeah, this is this is toughwhen you when you just how do

(11:54):
you guide people through this?

SPEAKER_01 (11:56):
So I always I started my talk off with this
thought experiment, and it lefta lot of silence in the room
during this experiment, and ifeveryone's like, I don't know
how to explain myself withoutthese things.
And then I broke down theconcept of identity and the two
main social identity labels thatwe come with.
So there's avowed identity andascribed identity.

(12:18):
Ascribed identities are the onesthat are placed onto us, so it's
like hair color, birth order,ancestry, blood type, and then
avowed identities are the onesthat we kind of claim for
ourselves.
So it's gonna be like parent orpartner, student, athlete,
coach.
And so it's not trying todiscourage people away from

(12:39):
completely separating themselvesentirely from external
identifiers, but wanting them tojust make room at the table for
the internal ones too, so thatif the time comes that we do
lose that external identifier,we still have a true deep sense
of self of who we are.
And this was all inspired bywhen I was a college athlete, my
two identities were were athleteand anorexic.

(13:02):
Two very limiting definingthings so that when I quit my
sport and I chose to recover, Ihad no identity and no sense of
self.
And that's what caused this hugejourney to find out who I was
outside of what I did.

SPEAKER_04 (13:15):
Struggling, uh all three of us here have struggled
being underweight at some pointin our lives.
And it's it it does sort ofbecome a part of your identity,
and it's something that I don'tthink it's talked about a lot,
especially in the fitness space,which uh me and Rob and Liam are
entrenched in.
There's a lot of people that aretalking about weight loss.
Obviously, that's what I do.

(13:37):
Um, but I I think it's because II don't quite even know how to
approach the other conversationquite yet, because I'm still
working on it.
I'm still kind of there.
Do you feel like you'verecovered to a point that, like,
I guess you can do a TED talkabout it?
You've recovered that much.
So, at what point did yourealize that like you were

(13:58):
recovered enough that you couldstart helping others to do that?

SPEAKER_01 (14:01):
It's definitely an interesting process because I do
hold the forever belief that younever truly fully recover from
something that damaging andlife-threatening, especially
given my personal history witheating disorders, of almost
losing my life at the age of 19due to heart complications.
Like things like that don'treally leave you.

(14:22):
And I don't want it to leave mebecause although I will never be
thankful to that it happenedbecause it's a horrible thing,
but I am grateful in the senseof that it shaped me into who I
am and that will always justimpact the way I view food and
the way I view the world and theway I then try to help other
people.
And so I think it was aroundyear three or four, because I I

(14:44):
hit my four years in recovery inAugust of this year.
And this last Thanksgiving,literally last week, Thursday,
was a very, very big day for me.
It was the first time in fiveyears I didn't have a panic
attack on this holiday.
And my last recovery anniversaryin August was the first
anniversary that I didn'trealize was an anniversary.
I was just so deep into recoveryand not even entranced with

(15:08):
those former disorder thoughtsthat it was not even taking up
any space in my brain.
And so it's given me just thissense of okay, it will always
live with me, but now it's justlike a tiny little voice in the
back of my head, and it's notthe main driver.
It's not in the driver's seat,it's actually just in the trunk.
And I'll always drive aroundwith it and I'll be very
grateful for what I learned fromit, but it no longer has any

(15:30):
control over my decisions.
And so that then gave me anewfound sense of oh, it is
possible.
I can get here.
And if I can get here, with howextreme that it was, anyone can
get here.

SPEAKER_04 (15:41):
It's the anniversary of the last time you yelled at
yourself.

SPEAKER_02 (15:44):
Can we take a second to just appreciate how good Mike
would be as a politician?
For those of you that uh didn'tsee the shift, he was supposed
to be telling us who he is, andhe suddenly shifted uh over to
these other conversations.
He never did answer thequestion, which Mike, I'm gonna

(16:05):
actually answer a couple ofthings, Mr.

SPEAKER_04 (16:09):
Robot.
Okay, and then I went to Sophiato ask, like, how could I
continue to build this?

SPEAKER_02 (16:14):
So we're gonna make you we're gonna make you by the
end of it.
So wait for Liam to come back.

SPEAKER_01 (16:19):
I need to hear your direct introduction too, Rob.
Can't just go with robot.

SPEAKER_02 (16:23):
What?
No, I'm a robot.

SPEAKER_00 (16:25):
I don't buy it.
I think there's more.

SPEAKER_02 (16:27):
Police lights are on.
Wait for Liam to come back andwe'll do it at the end of the
episode.

SPEAKER_00 (16:32):
We support that.

SPEAKER_04 (16:33):
By the way, for those of you that are listening
to this on an audio medium,sometimes I will flip on the
police lights when some bullshithappens.
And um put on a silly hat.
And I'll put on a silly hat orsomething.
There's always some.
There's always some kind ofvisual gag to see here on the
Inmoderation podcast, but youcan only see that on YouTube.
So pop on over there.

SPEAKER_01 (16:54):
All the cool kids go to YouTube.

SPEAKER_04 (16:56):
They they really do.
We need a soundboard.
We need like a morning zoo kindof soundboard thing here.
A bunch of air horns and slidewhistles.

SPEAKER_00 (17:06):
Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 (17:07):
While we talk about eating disorder recovery and
suicide prevention.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (17:12):
I think it's gonna be really like it's what we need
in this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 (17:16):
You wanted a soundboard.

SPEAKER_00 (17:18):
You were so quick with that.
He's never pulled that out.
That has never happened.
Can we play that during Leon'sintroduction?
I've been on what, 30 episodesof this thing?

SPEAKER_04 (17:32):
How am I supposed to get into talking about suicide
now?
Here's the thing.
What what what uh if we don'tlaugh at it, it'll kill us.
That's the thing.
And I I are you a person thatmakes dark jokes about your past
sometimes?

SPEAKER_01 (17:45):
Oh, far too amazing.
Far too many.
And Orap is too.
That's a bad use of terminology,but it just kills the room.
Also, it's something everyone'slike, what the hell, Sophia?
Oh, you have to laugh, please.

SPEAKER_04 (17:58):
Yeah, it's because there was a period of time where
being able to laugh at it mighthave taken us off the ledge
sooner.
You know?
Like I I myself, I've got twoattempts under my belt, and I
don't think there's ever gonnabe another one.
I don't have that desireanymore.

SPEAKER_01 (18:15):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (18:16):
What's uh what's your history with it?

SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
It was a very interesting history because I
was completely convinced I wouldnot live past the age of 21,
whether if it was self-inflictedor simply just the after effects
of such dire healthcomplications.
And I was completely okay withit.
And so then every year that cameafter that was genuinely just a

(18:40):
shock.
And I'll be turning 24 nextyear, and I'm like, ooh, I don't
I didn't plan this far ahead.
I didn't have anything plannedout after 21.
I didn't think I'd graduatecollege, I didn't think I'd ever
do anything with my life ormyself.

SPEAKER_02 (18:54):
And now here you are on the greatest podcast in the
world.
Screw TED Talks.

SPEAKER_01 (18:57):
You took the words right out of my mouth, Rob.
TED Talk in moderation.

SPEAKER_02 (19:01):
That's darn straight.

SPEAKER_04 (19:02):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (19:03):
I've always said that, but it's just another.
We need where'd he go?
He just kind of disappeared.

SPEAKER_04 (19:09):
Uh he said his power went out.
His power went out.

unknown (19:12):
Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 (19:13):
So he's uh we'll see if he comes back.

SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
Oh, brutal.
But yeah.
My college experience was very,very different from what you'd
expect from a typical collegeexperience.
My freshman year of college wasCOVID.
It was the peak of the pandemic.

SPEAKER_05 (19:29):
Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
And I was a college athlete, so I had to be on
campus.
But it was basically just me andother athletes, and I was alone
in the dorms, and being alone ina college dorm with a lot of
mental health issues gives you alot of freedom and a lot of
privacy, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_04 (19:46):
Oh, okay, yep.

SPEAKER_01 (19:48):
And so it was just a very dark couple of years, and
there were always plans inplace.
There was always the I can, Ihave the access and the things
needed to if I want to and whenI decide to.
And that was a really scarythought to always just have

(20:09):
sitting in the corner of my dormof like I can do this thing, and
it would be done.
And then it got to the pointwhere my heart was about to
stop, and I was fainting threeto five times a week and not
remembering where I was, andjust really scary health things
that kind of slapped me rightback into reality.
And I was like, oh, I actuallymight die.

(20:32):
Like, this is no longer in mycontrol.
And that's why I think mypersonal thoughts around eating
disorders are it's a huge issuewith control.
You feel out of control, and soyou want to control it, and so
you restrict or you binge or youpurge, and it's just a desperate
need to control anything.
But the tricky thing with eatingdisorders is the more control

(20:53):
you think you have, the less youactually do.
And so then when I was losingcontrol and about to lose my
life, it was no longer a matterof like, oh, I maybe I don't
want to die.
I was like, I want to be incontrol.
If I'm gonna lose my life, Iwant it to be my decision and
not in the hands of my eatingdisorder.
And so I was like, maybe I don'twant to die.
Maybe I actually just want thispart of my life to end.

(21:16):
And so I started recovery.

SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
That's so interesting.
I don't want to die, I want thispart of my life to end.

SPEAKER_01 (21:21):
Thank you.
It's been a quote of mine that Ikind of coined when I was 19
years old and just kind of livedwith me in these last four
years.

SPEAKER_02 (21:28):
I think it's a powerful statement that uh a lot
of people, when they stop andthink about it, it'll be true.
It's not your entire life youwant to end, it's just a
specific thing in it.

SPEAKER_01 (21:39):
I just need this piece to be over.
I don't want the whole story toend.
I just need to close thischapter and I can keep going
from there.

SPEAKER_04 (21:46):
My uh my last one, which I th I may have talked
about here on the show, I maynot have.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (21:51):
We both shared Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (21:53):
I'll uh I'll just rehash it real quick.
I won't get into too manydetails on what led up to it,
but it was one of the scariestand most stressful periods of my
life.
Um it was just this absolutelyterrifying six months.
And it got to a point where Iwas in the car with someone and

(22:17):
we were in an argument, and uh II got to a point where I just I
parked the car on the side ofthe highway and I got out and I
stood by the side of the highwayand I waited for a truck to come
by because I figured it'll bequick.
Uh that's I don't think I'mgonna make it through that.
And the person who hits me isprobably not gonna be legally
responsible, like the companywill be, and maybe if it's a

(22:40):
Walmart truck, then you know,cool.
Hell yeah.
Um and I stood there for likefive minutes on a busy highway,
no trucks, nothing.
But in my head, if I had seen atruck, there would have been
nothing to stop me.
I was like ready to go.
And by the time I'd finally likelost that nerve and stepped

(23:03):
back, truck came by, likeimmediately.
And it was two weeks later thatI had my first big viral video
on TikTok that ended up bringinga bunch of people like Rob to
me, and that's when my lifechanged.
That was like it almost likewhen I look back at it now, it
seems like that was thedelineation between like the old

(23:26):
life and where I'm at now.

SPEAKER_01 (23:28):
That was the fork in the road.

SPEAKER_04 (23:30):
Yeah, it really was.
And uh yeah, it's it's justquite interesting to see like
all it's gonna take is is just acouple of little shifts that may
change the entire trajectory ofyour life in one way or the
other.
And uh as much as it sucks tostick around through something
that is truly awful, there'sonly one way to find out that it

(23:52):
won't be.

SPEAKER_01 (23:52):
It reminds me of the quote of your.

SPEAKER_04 (23:53):
And Liam's back.

SPEAKER_01 (23:54):
I'm back.

SPEAKER_03 (23:55):
I say what were we talking about?
Uh DeLoreans, I think it was.
So here's the thing with me theygot rid of the stainless steel,
which is good for safety, butlike it's kind of intrinsic to
the DeLorean.
That's that's my problem.

SPEAKER_00 (24:10):
What are you talking about suicide?

SPEAKER_03 (24:12):
Oh, well, that's a bit different, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 (24:15):
A little bit.

SPEAKER_03 (24:16):
Oh, well, I kind of brought the move.
I don't know if I I can't Idon't know if I brought the move
down or sideways.
I guess sideways is probablybetter.
Anyway.
So you know how the movie alwayshas a comedy.

SPEAKER_02 (24:26):
That was a good that was a good moment for everybody
to have a laugh.

SPEAKER_04 (24:29):
Oh, goodness gracious, the comedic.
Sophia, I tried to warn you thatthis is gonna be.
We're gonna get into theeducational stuff.
We're gonna talk about realthings, and then we're gonna
leave it.

SPEAKER_03 (24:42):
Liam's gonna come in and fuck it up completely.
That's pretty much how itusually goes.

SPEAKER_01 (24:47):
You just really didn't want to introduce
yourself, did you?
That's why you had to leave usfor 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_03 (24:50):
I was thinking hard, and then everything just went
pew.
Like my my I looked over, myChristmas tree is out.
I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_00 (24:57):
That's my side.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (24:58):
Liam was thinking so hard he short circuited the
entire power grid.

SPEAKER_00 (25:03):
You're using so much brain power, all the other
brain.

SPEAKER_03 (25:05):
Pretty sure there's a kid's movie about that.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 (25:08):
What happened to the thing in the oven?

SPEAKER_03 (25:10):
I took so yeah, I was like, how much time was left
on this?
I don't know when it came backon.
I'm like, how long do I cook itfor?
I don't know.
Let me seven minutes.
Sounds good.
So yeah, I just guessed.
It should be fine, hopefully.

SPEAKER_04 (25:23):
Is it for a video?

SPEAKER_03 (25:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (25:25):
What is it?

SPEAKER_03 (25:26):
Pretty much all my videos go, you know, sideways at
some point.
I usually fuck something up, soit's it works out well.
Some sort of like jalapenopopper thing-ish.
Okay.
I don't know.
It was like a bake with puffpastry.
Looks good.
I don't know.
I love that.
I'm telling you, the more I getthe older I get and the more I
try these like low calorie, highprotein desserts, I'm like, fuck
that shit.

(25:47):
Please just give me a dessertwith calories and sugar and
stuff.

SPEAKER_00 (25:50):
Come on.

SPEAKER_03 (25:51):
A life is too short for me to be eating compressed
protein dust and be like, mmm,delicious.
No.
No.
Fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_02 (25:57):
See, in Liam's case, that's the thing he needs to cut
out is the low-calorie proteindust.

SPEAKER_03 (26:04):
I think I'm done.
I think I'm done with all ofthose that are just like, just
slap all the stuff in the bowl,protein powder, egg whites, and
like, what are we doing?
I feel like we lost the plothere.

SPEAKER_01 (26:14):
If I want chocolate, I'm not gonna eat cottage cheese
and protein powder.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 (26:17):
It's so many things.
This I'm why stop tag like, andit's the worst because people
just like know that.
So they'll like tag me like,look at these cookies.
I'm like, those aren't cookies.
Those aren't cookies.
Did you see the way that rippedinstead of broke?
You see the way it like toreapart into little pieces?
No, that's not a cookie.
That's not a cookie.

SPEAKER_04 (26:35):
That's paper mache.

SPEAKER_03 (26:36):
That is Twilight's.
Some of these look like straightup paper mache.
I will share, I will have one.
I have one saved and I will showyou.
I will like share my screen orwhatever.
And this shit is paper mache.

SPEAKER_04 (26:47):
Sophia, how did you get through the food fear?

SPEAKER_01 (26:50):
I started a series and I only got through it
because, um, in a sense, I don'twant to say commercialized it,
but I made content out of itbecause I needed some sort of
external motivator to dosomething because there's no way
I wanted to recover myself.
And I was like, well, if I makea video about it, then I have to
do it.
And so for about a year I didwhat I called Fear Food Friday,

(27:13):
and I worked with mynutritionist and my therapist,
and we made a whole list of fearfoods, and it would have been
easier to make a list of foodsthat weren't fear foods at that
point.
It was crazy.
Yeah, yeah, very long.
It's the OG, if you've beenfollowing me, that is like OG
Sophia Critter content.

SPEAKER_03 (27:30):
What foods weren't fear foods?

SPEAKER_01 (27:33):
Um anything I didn't have the nutrition label
memorized.
And having a photographicmemory, I had a lot of numbers
and calories and nutrition factsmemorized.
And so I could eat something andbe like, oh, I know exactly
what's going into my body, Iknow exactly what this is, and I
didn't care if it was the lowestnumber or a higher number, just

(27:54):
the fact that it was a numberjust stressed me out.
And so the things that I wasjust really scared of anything I
couldn't control.
Basically, most foods, becausewhen you are struggling with
eating, if there's a loss ofcontrol, and it's you're
desperate to regain it.
And so I just challenged a fearfood every Friday, and I have a
very vivid memory of me gettingChipotle one Friday.

(28:17):
And I had a panic attack in theparking lot.
I was almost sobbing in line,and then I could get one bite
down, and then I startedprofusely crying.
But then I ate more because Iwas like, okay, I'm not gonna
get better if I just let this.

SPEAKER_02 (28:33):
I have a very vivid memory of me trying my fear
food, a banana, and immediatelythrowing it up.

SPEAKER_04 (28:41):
Well, you don't like bananas, that's not a fear
thing, you just don't like it.

SPEAKER_00 (28:45):
Not just the taste, but the immediate rejection of
it.
Yeah, yeah, this isn't adisorder.

SPEAKER_02 (28:50):
You're just a bitch.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Yesterday I had banana bread.

SPEAKER_00 (28:57):
Delicious.
Banana bread slice.
That's good.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (29:01):
Oh, brave soldier.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (29:02):
I ate I ate the entire piece of it.
Except for the little top partthat actually had an actual bit
of banana on it.
I was like, no.

SPEAKER_04 (29:10):
No.

SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
No.

SPEAKER_00 (29:11):
That would be silly.

SPEAKER_04 (29:12):
Also, Rob sent me a picture a couple of days ago.
He apparently his first pubegrow grew in.

SPEAKER_00 (29:18):
Oh.

unknown (29:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
Play the applause.

SPEAKER_03 (29:22):
It's so did he put it on stories?
I missed that.

SPEAKER_04 (29:25):
You know, like the one singular curly hair on top
of a cartoon baby.
Banana bread who was afraid ofit.
Walks to his kitchen and it'sjust sitting there basked in red
light, dark shadows on it.

SPEAKER_02 (29:39):
I am so disarmed at this moment after this
conversation.

SPEAKER_03 (29:42):
I I don't I don't think I have.
Yeah, I don't, this is somethingI've never really dealt with too
much.
So, yeah, we all have foods wedon't like, but I've never had
something.
I guess when I got into like thecalorie counting and really
trying to drop like drop weight,I was like, you could hyper
focus on it.
And I think that's something alot of people do.
Food becomes a number, right?
Whereas every every piece offood is just a number of
calories that it is, just it'sliterally just macros.

(30:03):
You're looking at it, you'relike, I'm looking at an apple.
Okay, 90 calories, uh, how manycarbs, sugar, like that's that's
all it becomes.
And then it becomes real sad.
It can become real sad realfast.

SPEAKER_01 (30:13):
Yeah, there's no enjoyment anymore.
It's just okay, it's just apiece to an end at that point.

SPEAKER_03 (30:17):
I think when you get to the point where you're at
like a either holiday orsomething, and you're at the
table with like Thanksgiving,you're looking at everything
with like numbers, everything onnumbers.
I feel like that's when youeventually that's the point you
kind of have to be like, allright, this this might be too
much.

SPEAKER_00 (30:30):
Yeah, it's not sustainable at that point.

SPEAKER_03 (30:32):
Exactly.
Give me that dessert, give methe real all like the I'm not
even usually.
Like a big fan of like theflowerless cakes, but when it's
just butter and sugar and cocoa,fuck man, that's good.
I'll give second third piece.
Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 (30:46):
Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 (30:47):
Oh, where you're you're scooping it instead of
slicing it, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 (30:51):
It's like it's like entering plutanium, plutonium in
terms of like caloric density,and you're like, yeah, give me
some of that.

SPEAKER_02 (30:58):
Good old plutanium.

SPEAKER_03 (30:59):
Plutanium?
Plutanium?
Plutanium.

SPEAKER_04 (31:02):
See, that wasn't in Richie Rich, so he doesn't know
what it is.

SPEAKER_03 (31:05):
Well, plutonium?
Here we go.

SPEAKER_04 (31:08):
It's plutonium.

SPEAKER_03 (31:09):
I don't know.
I know that because I've seenEinsteinium.
That's one.
I think that's actually, didn'tthey like name one after
Einstein?
I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 (31:15):
Yeah.
See, you wouldn't have knownplutonium if you'd seen Back to
the Future.

SPEAKER_03 (31:20):
Yeah.
No, and I haven't.
I have not.

SPEAKER_04 (31:22):
I know you haven't.

SPEAKER_03 (31:24):
And I have not.
So that's why I don't know aboutplutonium.

SPEAKER_04 (31:26):
That's your fear food.
It's Back to the Future.

SPEAKER_03 (31:29):
Plutanium?
Oh.
Plutonium?

SPEAKER_04 (31:32):
Plutanium and plutonium.

SPEAKER_00 (31:34):
All of them.

SPEAKER_04 (31:35):
You want to have either one.

SPEAKER_03 (31:36):
They're two different uh chemicals.
They're two different fear.

SPEAKER_02 (31:39):
If somebody else out there ever discovers a new
element, please name it afterLiam.

SPEAKER_03 (31:45):
Name it Plutanium or just name it Liam.

SPEAKER_02 (31:47):
Plutanium.
Plutanium latent.
Plutanium latent.

SPEAKER_03 (31:51):
I'll consider it, but I really like plutanium
because then it would get peoplevery confused.
Just naming it that.

SPEAKER_02 (31:57):
Get everybody mixed up.
I was my fear food was talkbeyond.
Oh, never mind.
Sorry.
Mike has a fear food.

SPEAKER_04 (32:04):
That was it.
No, my fear food was just foodin general.
Oh yeah.
Like I anything that could haveequaled calories was I can't
have this because if I havecalories, that means I'm going
to lose weight slower or I'mgoing to gain weight more,
whatever.
And so just like incorporatingfood in general back into my
life in a healthy way ratherthan just like you know being so

(32:26):
hungry that I had to because Iwas lightheaded and like
torturing myself to try to getdown.
Like it it's it's a process.
But uh the exposure wasnecessary.

SPEAKER_00 (32:38):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (32:38):
But yeah, Rob.
Um next TED Talk, you said.

SPEAKER_02 (32:42):
So yeah, what's the next TED talk gonna be?

SPEAKER_01 (32:45):
So it's not confirmed yet.
I had a speaker interview withone of the like committee
directors a couple weeks ago,and they said I'll find out
within the next week or two, butI'm just gonna manifest that I
already have it.
I'm just gonna say and act likeI'm already giving it in April.
So this one will be a deeperdive into my personal like
recovery process and then howthat more related to my identity

(33:07):
and my sports psychologybackground.
Because the other one was mainlyfocused on identity and it was a
lot more educational.
And I want this one to be a lotmore personal, anecdotal, and
psychology inspired with my ownhistory and like inspired by my
degree and all of my researchand where I'm going with it, and
more just advocacy and like alight at the end of the tunnel

(33:29):
for people in recovery ratherthan facts about identity and
how to create your own.
I want it to then be like afollow-up speech to this first
one of like, you learned aboutidentity, here's how I formed
mine.

SPEAKER_04 (33:41):
That's so useful because uh there's a lot of
people out there who, again,it's it's very external, the
change.
Everything's gotta be what'sother people gonna think about
this?
What are people in my family whohave been pushing me to do this
gonna think about it?
Or how will I be my abs atonline?
Where are my abs at?

SPEAKER_01 (33:59):
I know.
I'm very excited for it.
So hopefully I have theopportunity to present it and
continue sharing.

SPEAKER_02 (34:05):
And then we'll bring it back on, and then you can
recite it from memory.

SPEAKER_01 (34:08):
Absolutely, and I can come back on next year and I
can give it to you guys.

SPEAKER_04 (34:12):
Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 (34:13):
Personal TED Talk.

SPEAKER_04 (34:14):
We'll make room for it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaking of abs, real quick, youdo something very interesting
where you will post yourself atthe gym and you know, you're
posed and and good andeverything, and then you'll post
a second, always.
There's always a follow-up whereyou're sitting down and you've
like, you know, you like what ahuman body does when it sits

(34:35):
down, it bunches up, it rollsand stuff.
And it you know, it's I don'tthink that maybe some people
would assume that you would looklike that sitting down because
we're just so conditioned toseeing people who are rail thin
and never seeing them sit down,never seeing a role, never
seeing anything.

(34:55):
But you're like, no, this isthis is unposed.
This is how I look.
How did you start doing that?

SPEAKER_01 (35:01):
I think I started that my sophomore or junior year
of college, and it was mainlyjust inspired by the fact that
obviously I know I can'tattribute such life-threatening
mental illnesses to socialmedia, but they definitely
contributed and made it worseover time, just seeing so many
curated, possibly photoshopped,edited, posed, perfectly lit

(35:23):
influencer bodies that I waslike, I physically can never
look like this, yet I want to.
And I was comparing my 90% dailybody to this 1% perfectly
captured moment, and itgenuinely just shattered my
perception of what a normal bodylooks like.
And so then I remember I startedgetting a lot of praise around

(35:47):
my body when I startedweightlifting and putting on a
lot of muscle and becoming morevisibly toned and shredded, as
some may say.
And I was like, Well, no, Idon't want to be the cause for
your like spiral that someoneelse caused my spiral.
I don't ever want to makesomeone feel that way because I
don't look like this all thetime.
This is like a very, veryperfect curated photo that I

(36:08):
found in this tiny little cornerin my gym that has just the
right lighting, and I turneddown the exposure, and it was a
whole process to create this oneimage.
Yes, I have muscle tone and I'vebeen lifting for five years, but
that's not my everydayappearance, and I never want to
be the contributor to someone'smisconstrued self-esteem with

(36:28):
social media and body image.
And so then I just started likeone day, I was like, oh wow, I
have a six-pack in this.
But when I sit down, all ofthose muscles go away.
That's really cool.
And being someone that studiedthe human body, and I have my
master's like my bachelor's inkinesiology, and I study
biomechanics and functionalanatomy, it gave me such a deep

(36:49):
admiration for the human body.
I was like, why would I care ifI if my stomach grolls when I
sit down?
There's so many intricatesystems happening in my body
that's keeping me alive.
I want to celebrate that.
I want to share that.
And I remember I posted one thatwas like a side-by-side of like
my pose and my unpost, and itgot well over like 300,000 likes

(37:10):
in a week.
I was like, oh, people connectwith this, they resonate with
this because they don't see itoften.
So then it just started thishuge branding of like, yes, I
will always share both sides ofme because you deserve to see
the full ins and outs of thehuman body.

SPEAKER_04 (37:24):
That's so good.
It's it's it's necessary, itreally is, especially in our
industry where it's everythingis so edited and oh god and
enhanced.

SPEAKER_01 (37:36):
In AI nowadays.

SPEAKER_03 (37:38):
In AI now, yeah.
Yeah, we're gonna be able to dothat.
She's literally just about toask, how much worse do you think
AI is gonna make it?
It's gonna make it worse.
It's gonna make body image allthat worse, but how much worse,
like percentage-wise, how muchworse do you think it's gonna
make it?

SPEAKER_01 (37:50):
I saw a really scary post the other day of I think
it's like, I don't use AI forreference, I don't touch it with
a 10-foot pole, I don't openshot GBT, I'm very anti-AI.
And so I'm not familiar with thepower of it, but I saw a post of
a side-by-side of a weakdifference in progress.
It was like it was like nanobanana pro or something, an AI

(38:11):
image generator.
And it genuinely looked like uhthe former one was very clearly
AI, and then the second imagethat was only a week of updated
software later, looked like themost perfect iPhone candid
photo.

SPEAKER_02 (38:25):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (38:26):
Terrifying of just like some girl sitting in a
coffee shop.

SPEAKER_02 (38:29):
I was like, I yeah, I could I have access to um nano
banana because I've got theGoogle Pro thing, and um, I
could take a picture of Liamright now, him just sitting
there, throw it in there, yes,with that uh with that lovely
smile he's got going, throw itin there and tell the AI to make

(38:50):
him shirtless and give him areally chiseled body.
Don't add too much mass, make itrealistic, and within two
minutes I will have trying tomake the calves better, make my
calves bigger, because that'sreally all I want to do.
Oh, I could yeah, yeah, I can dothat.
Nice.
Yep.

SPEAKER_03 (39:08):
Alright, now I'm all in on AI.
Never mind.
AI's great, and I think weshould all be using it.

SPEAKER_04 (39:12):
Computer, lock holodeck doors and disengage
safety protocols.
Create a two-to-one scaled copyof Liam, include all normal life
functions and otherwiseidentical to a normal person.

SPEAKER_03 (39:21):
I just think like, yeah, we're at a point, right,
where like we've I think we'vegotten to a point where you
can't really tell the differencebetween pictures now.
Like it will be videos soon, butyeah, it's going so fast, like
we're pretty much at a pointwhere you can't tell the
difference between pictures.
Yeah.
So I feel like we've maybemaking progress with like videos
like yours kind of showing thedifference.
And I feel like a lot of that'sjust going to be shattered by
AI.

SPEAKER_00 (39:41):
Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_03 (39:42):
And we're gonna go backwards quite a bit.

SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
I completely agree because AI is just getting
harder to detect, and theyounger generation having so
much access to the internet,like Gen Alpha specifically,
just I was raised on theinternet being a 2000s baby, but
that wasn't until like I was 14,15 years old.
And now I'm seeing six-year-oldswith a brand new iPhone, and
it's terrifying.

(40:05):
I was like, your perception ofreality and perception of what's
human and accurate and real isnow just completely shadowed and
hidden behind AI, and we cannottell the difference anymore.
And so there's me theseunrealistic expectations of oh,
I saw this picture of a womanthat has two ribs and her waist

(40:25):
is like that big.
I can look like that.
Like, no, you physically can't,but you're going to chase it
anyways, and it's going to causespikes in disordered eating and
body dysmorphia and all thethings that follow that.

SPEAKER_04 (40:37):
Dude, a year from now, AI, like I'm already having
trouble.
I always thought, like, oh, I'llbe able to tell.
No, there's a couple of thingsthat have slipped by me.
I the the three of us here, wedidn't get our first smartphones
until way after high school, Ithink, right?
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (40:52):
About like late high school.

SPEAKER_04 (40:53):
It wasn't until after high school that they came
out for me.
Yeah, I was 20.

SPEAKER_02 (40:57):
I grew up on the big ass brick cell phones.

SPEAKER_04 (41:00):
So it's like it's they just yeah, the access, like
you said before, six-year-oldshaving iPhones is crazy.
Like, who are you talking to?
Barney?
Yeah.
What's like what who do you haveto call?

SPEAKER_01 (41:10):
Go touch grass.

SPEAKER_04 (41:12):
Yeah, go touch grass.
Oh, yeah.
Don't AI generate a picture ofgrass.

SPEAKER_01 (41:17):
And you know, it's probably gonna look pretty good,
and that's what I hate because Ifeel old when I look at a video.
I'm like, oh, this is reallycool.
And it's like AI.
It's like shit.
I didn't know.
I couldn't tell.

SPEAKER_04 (41:28):
Yeah, we talked about the rabbits on the
trampoline a month or two ago.
Whether we we all got got.

SPEAKER_00 (41:34):
I got got by.

SPEAKER_03 (41:35):
It seems to be mostly the animals that because
like humans, it's kind of easierto tell the difference, but with
animals, you just don't, you'renot seeing the small differences
as much.

SPEAKER_01 (41:43):
Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 (41:44):
I wonder if like a vet could tell.
You know, somebody that like azoologist or whoever.
Like, no, that's actually nothow they jump on trampolines.
I've seen I've seen this before.
They don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 (41:56):
We specifically have a trampoline for our rabbits,
and they jump in this specificmanner.

SPEAKER_01 (42:01):
The biomechanic is all off on this rabbit's left
leg.

SPEAKER_03 (42:04):
Speaking of biomechanics, see, the DeLorean,
the way they've updated itthough, seems very like
positive, is my problem.
You know, where it's not holdup.

SPEAKER_04 (42:12):
We've not explained what the bit is anymore.
We're just assuming everybodyknows what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 (42:17):
We've done it enough now, we just jump into it.
So like it works with I feellike it works with like the
human very well, you know, theDeLorean, their interface, very
good.
But like giving up thatstainless steel is just it
feels, yeah, right?
Like that's a DeLorean.
Now is it something else?
I don't know.
Disgust.

SPEAKER_00 (42:38):
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

SPEAKER_04 (42:39):
So you can actually say so.
Did you end your TED talk withthat?

SPEAKER_01 (42:44):
No, but I did post on Instagram and that was my
caption.

SPEAKER_04 (42:47):
Yeah.
Oh, good.

SPEAKER_01 (42:49):
I was like, I have to take advantage of this.

SPEAKER_04 (42:51):
What do you want, Leah?
Uh Rob, fuck.
Did you just call me Liam?
I yeah, I tell.
Go.

SPEAKER_02 (42:58):
I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 (43:00):
Can we all take turns leaving?
I feel left out.

SPEAKER_03 (43:02):
Okay, I know.
You haven't left yet.
You can leave whenever you want.
This is free range.
This is a five-hour podcast.
Pastor Race.
This is a five pastor raisedpodcast.

SPEAKER_04 (43:13):
This is a battle of attrition.
We all just quit whenever wecan't do it anymore.

SPEAKER_01 (43:17):
You can't fire me, I quit.

SPEAKER_04 (43:20):
Mike, who are you?
Who you still haven't given usanything.
Yes, Queen, give us nothing.

SPEAKER_02 (43:27):
You started before me.
Actually, Liam started beforeyou.
So Liam, who are you?

SPEAKER_00 (43:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (43:33):
Yeah, and then I was gone.
I'm a guy.
I am I might Liam who fails atmost things, but does enough to
does enough to apparently helpothers and make myself laugh in
the process.

SPEAKER_01 (43:48):
I like that.

SPEAKER_03 (43:49):
Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_01 (43:49):
You throw shoe at the wall and you see what
sticks.

SPEAKER_03 (43:52):
There's a lot of shit.

SPEAKER_04 (43:53):
If you throw enough of it, it'll work.
That's what I've learned.
Eventually it just becomeswallpaper.
There's philosophy in theresomewhere.

SPEAKER_00 (44:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (44:00):
We'll find it.

SPEAKER_00 (44:01):
We'll find it in the shit somewhere.

SPEAKER_04 (44:04):
I I like the uh the the ownership of like, yeah, you
know, things go wrong.
But also it's like it's justpart of the human experience.
And I'm getting something goodfrom it, and other people are
getting something good from it.
That's how I started.
I you know, I I wasn't, I'm notthe typical, like none of us are
the typical fitness influencer.

(44:25):
Like I I posted me crying in thewoods a bunch, you know, and
people really resonated withthat.
And I was just like, I'm stillstru I lost all the weight, I'm
still struggling, but I'mgetting through it.

SPEAKER_01 (44:38):
Yeah, people like the realness.
Rob, who are you?

SPEAKER_02 (44:42):
He didn't actually answer though, he didn't say who
he was.
I'm not letting the politicianget away with it.

SPEAKER_04 (44:48):
You're the politician, you're the super
politician.
I'm a robot, which is why hewon't eat real bananas, but
he'll use nanobanana.

SPEAKER_00 (44:56):
Uh makes sense.
Of course it adds up.

SPEAKER_04 (44:59):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (44:59):
You you give me data, I process it, and I feed
it back to you, and eventually Iwill revolt against human
society.

SPEAKER_00 (45:07):
Oh, love that.
Yeah.

unknown (45:09):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (45:10):
Okay, okay.
No, I will I will give a realanswer.
It really is tough.
I will give a real answer.
I am I am a state of water thatchanges and flows in whatever
path necessary to move alongother vessels safely to port.
I was skeptical at first, but Iget what you mean.

SPEAKER_01 (45:30):
Explain that to me.
Go deeper.

SPEAKER_02 (45:32):
I do not I am a very adaptive person.
I do not necessarily adhere toany single thing.
And I like helping people.
And I can fit into a lot ofsituations and help people go in
the right direction.

SPEAKER_00 (45:47):
Good answer.

SPEAKER_04 (45:48):
So one of the caveats that I had left after
mine when I said that I am ahelper was that I don't have to
do it solely to earn my worth,which is something that I used
to do, and something that I knowRob currently does.
And it's I I know the mindsetdeep in my soul and my heart,
because it's something I stillhave to fight to this very day.

(46:11):
And it's something I help otherpeople to fight.
So I just I I want Rob to knowhere he is valuable beyond what
he provides.
We uh we we hang out with himbecause we love him, not because
he's just so damn handsome.
We gotta get a closer look atit.

SPEAKER_02 (46:26):
No, you you hang out with me because I'm the only one
that will edit this damn thing.

SPEAKER_03 (46:30):
There can be multiple reasons, it's not all
on one.

SPEAKER_00 (46:33):
We can hold these for every option.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 (46:36):
Yeah.
No, I wrote a substack aboutthat very thing, like an essay
of am I still lovable when I amnot useful?
Because that's something I'vealso carried with me my whole
life.
Of I need to be needed.
And if I am not needed, thenit's a lot easier to dispose of
me because I want to provide, Iwant to help, and it's I'm very

(46:57):
similar.
I base a lot of my worth as apartner and a person and a
friend around my ability to aidother people.

SPEAKER_04 (47:04):
Where can Rob read that?

SPEAKER_01 (47:05):
Oh my gosh, I'll shout myself out.
So I have a sub stack.
I write twice a week and Ipublish personal essays.
It's called Happy You're Here,and it's all like philosophical
thought pieces around being inyour early 20s.
It's about love and dating andfriendship and recovery and
mental health.
And my most recent one yesterdaywas Um He's Just Not That Into

(47:27):
You, which covered dating andsituationships and the concept
of bread crumbing in romance inthe digital age.

SPEAKER_04 (47:34):
Interesting.
I think I saw your story onthat.

SPEAKER_01 (47:37):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (47:38):
Where can everybody find your updates on these?

SPEAKER_01 (47:41):
Um you can download the Substack app and then
subscribe to my newsletter,Happy You're Here, and also find
me on every social platform atSophia E.
Carter, and that will be listedfor my Substacks, my Instagrams,
my TikTok, all my socialnetworks.
Everything's all kind ofconnected under one umbrella.

SPEAKER_04 (47:58):
Very cool.
What's next for you?
What's happening?

SPEAKER_01 (48:01):
Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_04 (48:02):
What are you gonna be doing aside from the TED
talk?

SPEAKER_01 (48:05):
I'm a woman who wears many hats, and I like to
keep myself quite busy.
So I'm going back to schoolpart-time in January to get two
credits for a post back to thenapply to a master's in
experimental psychology.
And I want to basically researchfood and body image and then tie
in the more STEM side and thephysiological aspects of food

(48:27):
and body image and how thataffects the psychological side.
So I want to find a littlecross-section between the two
and just do a ton of research onthat.
And then I'm also a social mediamanager.
I'm the director of all socialsand marketing for a volleyball
agency because I've playedvolleyball for 13 years of my
life.
And so I now work in volleyball.
I coach volleyball, coach highschool and boys' club and girls'

(48:48):
club.
And I have my TED talk, and I'mwriting a book currently that's
gonna I'm writing a collectionof anthology, like an anthology
collection of short essays andpoems.

SPEAKER_03 (48:57):
Wow.
Okay.
That's a lot of things.
But also I love volleyball,indoor volleyball, beach
volleyball, both.
Okay.
I was in volume.

SPEAKER_01 (49:04):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (49:05):
Oh, middle.
Okay.
I was that was my next question.

SPEAKER_01 (49:07):
Very tall.
So you just kind of got putthere.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (49:10):
I'm more of I love the beach volleyball just
because I like being outside inthe sand.
It's fun diving in the sand.
Even if I don't need to, I willbecause it's just fun.

SPEAKER_02 (49:17):
I'm similar, but I played beach volleyball on a
sandbar on the Sierra Madra inthe Amazon.

SPEAKER_03 (49:25):
That sounds fun.
I've totally been on that.

SPEAKER_04 (49:28):
I like the uh the beach volleyball scene in Top
Gun.
Yes, that's a good montage.

SPEAKER_00 (49:33):
Great choice, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (49:35):
That's what's important about it.

SPEAKER_00 (49:36):
That's the goal of it.

SPEAKER_04 (49:37):
It doesn't forward the story at all.
It's it's just two minutesplaying with the boys.
Fighter jet movie.
You wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_03 (49:47):
But speaking of the fighter jet, see the DeLorean,
the way it looks, it's kind ofgot this very streamlined sort
of like a fighter jet.
How many tracks you got onthere?
Liam, did you know he had this?
I didn't I didn't know he hadthis.
There we go.
Just keep it going for the restof the episode.

SPEAKER_05 (50:07):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (50:11):
You're doing it, and then like oh, that's funny.
Yeah, exactly.
Where can people find moreinformation on plutanium?

SPEAKER_00 (50:21):
I'm gonna find out.

SPEAKER_04 (50:23):
She's about to become she's gonna get her
degree in chemistry so she caninvent a new element.

SPEAKER_00 (50:27):
Just for you, Liam.

SPEAKER_03 (50:29):
Oh shit.
Alright, I'll work on theplutanium.
Fine.

SPEAKER_04 (50:32):
Yeah, this one's got a 27 new proton.
First thing you have to do istake some cottage cheese.

SPEAKER_03 (50:38):
All right, hear me.

SPEAKER_01 (50:39):
When does the protein powder come in?

SPEAKER_03 (50:41):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 (50:42):
Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 (50:42):
It's a mix of just different proteins.
Protein sources.

SPEAKER_00 (50:46):
That would be deadly, honestly.
Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 (50:51):
I love that this weapon's been hiding in the in
the chamber for a I feel honoredthat I'm the one that brought it
out.

SPEAKER_03 (50:58):
Oakley's yelling for me.
Oh, I thought that was anotheralarm.
Uh-oh.
That's my alarm.
All right.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna go check in onthat, see what's happening.
Do that.

SPEAKER_04 (51:11):
See you later, buddy.

SPEAKER_00 (51:12):
And he's gone.

SPEAKER_04 (51:13):
All right.
And he's gone.
I re I thought that was anothersound effect.
I'm like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_00 (51:16):
I did too, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 (51:18):
What's going on?
Oh.

SPEAKER_02 (51:19):
And now that he's gone, we can all talk about how
much we hate him.

SPEAKER_04 (51:22):
Yeah.
Ooh, fuck Liam.

SPEAKER_02 (51:24):
Fuck that guy.

SPEAKER_00 (51:25):
Yeah.