June 4, 2026 • 28 mins
Looking for a simple tool you can use anytime guilt, anxiety, or the urge to make everyone else happy starts taking over? Listen now for an EFT tapping practice that helps recovering people pleasers feel calmer, more grounded, and more confident in their boundaries. Save this episode—you'll thank yourself later.
What You'll Learn in This Episode
- Why people pleasers often feel responsible for others' emotions
- How EFT tapping can help regulate the nervous system
- The connection between people-pleasing, anxiety, and old conditioning
- How to begin shifting limiting beliefs around boundaries and self-worth
- A guided tapping exercise you can return to anytime you need support
Challenge for the Week
Save this episode and revisit the tapping practice whenever you notice yourself feeling guilty, anxious, or responsible for someone else's emotions. Pay attention to which statements feel difficult to say—they may point to areas that need healing.
Work With Me
Ready to stop people-pleasing and start prioritizing yourself without guilt? I'd love to help.
Email me at maryann@maryannwalker.life to apply to work with me now!
Links Mentioned in This Episode
Matt Lengauer: https://wearradiantsouls.com
Instagram & YouTube: @radiantsoulsllc
Get your FREE ticket to The Energy Healing Conference in Layton, Utah June 19th & 20th, 2026 here. When prompted select Matt Lengauer as your sponsor https://offer.energyhealingconference.com/laytonehcemailspeakertickets2026
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (00:42):
Well, welcome back.
More than likely if you're herelistening, it's because you are
a recovering people pleaser andyou're looking for simple,
actionable tools to help you todecrease anxiety, decrease
cortisol, increase peace,increase confidence, and just
overall feel better.
And if that is you, you aregoing to absolutely love today's
episode.
You're going to want to bookmarkthis episode and come back to it
(01:04):
any time that you find yourselfexperiencing all of the
overwhelming emotions that cancome with being a people
pleaser, because today we'regoing to be doing a live
practice together.
But before we dive into thispractice, then I want to
introduce you to my friend andcolleague, Matt Lengauer.
He is the founder of RadiantSouls.
He's a certified life coach,Reiki master, and energy healing
(01:24):
mentor.
And he has felt personallycalled to help people transform
their lives..
He has a particular interest inEFT tapping, as well as in
LGBTQIA+ empowerment and queerspirituality.
Ultimately, his goal is to helpother people shine their light
by breaking free of falseidentity programming.
Matt, welcome.
I am so happy that you are here.
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (01:45):
So happy to be here.
Hello
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (01:47):
Now, before we dive in, can you tell
us a little bit about yourstory?
Because I think that my audienceis really going to resonate with
you.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (01:54):
Yeah.
So, I grew up very much a peoplepleaser.
I call myself a recoveringpeople pleaser now that I've
done a lot of healing work onit.
I have always been verysensitive to other people's
emotions and felt the obligationto fix their emotions so that I
could feel better.
(02:15):
and I kinda got trapped in thatloop of doing that from a very
young age, and then I kept doingit in adulthood, which causes me
a lot of interpersonal issuesand not getting my needs met.
so I did a lot of healing workthrough energy healing and,
through tapping specifically,and of course, working with a,
an amazing life coach.
(02:36):
so it really kinda got me toreprogram a lot of those beliefs
that, you know, I am only worthyand lovable if I am making other
people happy and fixing theirproblems and doing everything
that they want me to do, youknow, all of that kind of
fawning, with other people toreduce the tension I was feeling
from their emotions.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (02:59):
Oh, goodness, yes.
That we do so much of thisbecause we're trying to release
our own tensions, right?
That then we're gonna befawning, we're gonna be people
pleasing, we're gonna beprioritizing everybody else just
in an attempt to experience thatpeace.
And I appreciate that you saidthat this is something that's
kind of been with you your wholelife.
'Cause I think that for so manypeople, yeah, it does start on,
in childhood, and it's like,"Ohyeah, if I can make mom and dad
(03:20):
happy, it's all gonna be great."And then recognizing as we get
older that, oh my goodness, I'mstill doing this in
relationships, and this was mychildhood coping mechanism, and
how can I break free of that?
And today we're going to betalking about one very specific
tool that you mentioned has beenreally helpful with this.
And yeah, will you tell us whatthat tool is?
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (03:39):
Yeah.
So tapping or EFT tapping, thereare a lot of different ways to
do this.
If you looked up tapping videoson YouTube, you would probably
get millions, and, each persondoes it a different way.
So I specifically do it twodifferent ways.
One we're going to do today,where we're trying to just
reprogram and incorporate newbeliefs by acknowledging the old
(04:03):
ones without judgment and kindaletting those go, and then
incorporating, new ones, kinda,I call it reprogramming.
So, what we're going to do istouch different parts of our
upper body, that are pressurepoints, and this releases a lot
of stored energy in our body.
And when we're saying andthinking about these specific
(04:25):
beliefs that we have, we'regoing to be activating that
energy and releasing it.
so if you think about whenyou're anxious or in distress or
in shock or something, a lot oftimes we'll touch right here, or
we'll do this, or we rub ourface.
These are all different pressurepoints here that we're going to
(04:47):
be tapping.
So our body already knows andautomatically wants us to touch
those places to relieve stress.
so we're just gonna do it
maryann-walker--she-her (04:57):
amazing
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (04:57):
yeah.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (04:58):
Yeah, that the body knows and that
mind-body connection.
Yeah.
Yeah,'cause as you know, I workso much with thought work, and I
love the idea of combining thethought work with the body work
and putting the two togetherbecause, you know, we've talked
about h- before here on thepodcast that the body keeps the
score.
And I love that you pointed outthat, yeah, we, we automatically
put our hand to our chest to go,and gasp for air or rub our
(05:21):
temples and think,"Oh mygoodness, what's going on?" And
that that is your body's way ofhelping you to process those
emotions and helping you torelease those emotions.
So yeah, tell us more about howdoes this even work?
What is going on when you'retapping?
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (05:35):
Yeah.
So when we apply pressure tothese different points, and this
can be done in other ways,that's why people will get
acupuncture, acupressure, it'srelieving that energy, and our
body is constantly movingenergy.
And, it's not all woo-woo.
This is science,science-researched and a fact
that your brain emits energy.
(05:56):
It can be measured.
Your heart emits energy.
It can be measured.
All of this is moving throughyour body.
So what we're going to do is,trauma, phobias, limiting
beliefs, they get stuck.
So by applying pressure in thesedifferent places, I'm gonna take
you through a script that kindof resets what beliefs you want
(06:19):
to incorporate into your system.
So this is one way.
When I work one-on-one withsomeone, I do it a little bit
differently, and we actuallylaser-focus in onto a specific
fear or a limiting belief, andwe can measure just, like, scale
of one to 10, what does thatfeel like now, do a round of
tapping, and then what does itfeel like, post-tapping?
(06:41):
And we do that.
And, like, why not use yourbody's natural way of healing
and natural way of relievingstress to, like, get rid of this
in 10 to 20 minutes?
I mean, it's such an easy thingto do
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (06:52):
Yeah.
Yeah, and so I've personallyused tapping quite a bit.
I've noticed for myself,sometimes I'll even just tap on
my sternum as I'm driving downthe road, you know, whilst I'm
driving and help me to processemotions.
But is there anybody thattapping isn't for?
Like, is this contraindicated inany way for anybody?
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (07:08):
You know, really, even if someone
isn't able to tap on themselves,like, um, the best example I can
give is, like, trying to get a,a child to tap.
It might not always be great,but if you can get them to watch
you tap on yourself, our neuronsalso mirror other people's,
energy.
So what relief I'm starting toshow myself, the person in front
(07:32):
of me watching is going to pickup on that, just like, I mean,
we're all highly sensitivepeople.
We're already picking up onthat.
So that's one superpower that wehave as highly sensitive people,
to be able to pick up also onthe relief, not just the anxiety
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (07:47):
I love that.
And what an amazing tool for aparent to use to help their kids
learn how to process emotionsor, or even just anybody, even
just sitting with a friend andsaying,"Hey, let's, let's tap it
out." It, it's interesting asI'm working with clients too,
and I'm sure that you'veexperienced this as well, that I
also experience the relief aswe're working together.
It's like,
matt-lengauer---rad (08:04):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I will say, you don't evenhave to believe that it works
for it to work because, a friendof mine who's a big skeptic of
anything like this, she recentlydid tapping on something for her
life recommended by hertherapist, and she said to me,
she's like,"It shouldn't work,but it does." She's like,"I, I
(08:25):
don't understand why it works,but it does." So she just does
it.
And, you know, if you, if you'refeeling the benefits from, you
know, it, it often doesn'tmatter how you get there
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (08:35):
Yeah.
So for you personally or for ourlisteners, how do you know when
you should use tapping?
matt-lengauer---radiant (08:42):
Anytime you want to relieve yourself, I-
my meter is usually something'sfrustrating me.
Okay, what's frustrating meabout this?
And I'm a journaler, so a lot oftimes I'll start there, and I'll
be like,"Okay, there's some,like, core limiting beliefs
here." So I make YouTube videosfor the LGBT specifically for
tapping.
(09:02):
And so I will focus in on thingsthat, come up a lot for us.
So body image, feeling inferior,religious trauma, feeling
outcast, those sorts of issuesthat our community feels a lot.
So, I will find, and I justkinda meditate on that, and I
create a script of what was thenegative stuff coming up, and
(09:23):
then what is a more realisticbelief, and then focus on the
positive, affirmations to tapalong.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (09:30):
Yeah.
I love that so much because Ikn- that's been especially
helpful for me is when I'mtapping, I have to identify what
the problem is and acknowledgewhere I'm currently at, but I
also have to really invest someenergy into, and how do I wanna
flip this?
Where do I want to be?
What else is true?
Like, I have to be veryintentional about it,'cause like
you said, it can be really easyto get stuck in that spiral
(09:53):
where we're just kind of alldoom and gloom.
And tapping, I think, for me,has been so helpful with just
shifting it and helping me tomove through it and get to the
other side so that I can seethings a little bit more
clearly.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (10:05):
Yeah.
And what's wonderful is you canlive with, even if you don't
totally believe the new belief,you can live with it a little
bit better, and you can practiceit a little bit better because
the tapping has removed theemotional charge to it.
So it's not erasing memories.
It's not erasing, your old self.
You're not, you're not lettingthat go, but you can live with
(10:28):
it.
You can say,"Okay, yeah, I dokinda have this, but it doesn't
really bother me." And then youcan focus more on, well, what is
gonna bring me joy?
What is a more realistic or atleast an alternative, like you
said, an alternative belief?
What else is true?
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (10:44):
Yeah.
Yeah, and like you said, it'snot going to erase it, but it
kinda has me thinking, I'vetalked before about turning up
or down the volume on certainthoughts.
And it sounds like it's exactlythat experience where it's like,
"No, this is still a part of me,but I'm not gonna let it just be
ringing in my ears 24/7 anymore.
I'm-- It's gonna quiet down alittle.
I can process it in my body." Ithink we underestimate how much
(11:05):
work is actually done in ourbody.
We think we can just think ourway through it, but really
getting in the body, be itthrough tapping or any other
somatic practice, can be soincredibly healing.
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (11:17):
Yes.
Yes
maryann-walker--she-he (11:19):
Awesome.
Well, I'm excited because Matthas prepared a script
specifically for this audience,and I'm so excited about this.
So you had mentioned before thatyou like to have your clients
kind of like rank where they'reat on a scale.
Should the listeners do thatbefore they start?
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (11:33):
So for this particular way of doing
it, you don't have to do that.
All you'll really be doing isyou'll be following me where I'm
tapping and, and then you'lljust repeat after me.
And I'll kind of...
I'll try to say it slow so youcan repeat, and then if you
wouldn't mind, you know, helpingout here and repeating after me
and kind of we'll, we'll, we'llgo at that pace.
(11:55):
Um, but to kind of introducethose tapping, the places we're
gonna tap real, just real quick,and if you have glasses, you
probably wanna take them off.
but we'll start with the, theinner brow.
You can do both sides, or youcan just do one side, but the
inner brow here, and then theside of the eye, and then under
(12:16):
the eye, under the nose, underthe mouth, right here at the
collarbone where it feels alittle sensitive, and then under
the arm on the rib And thenwe'll finish a cycle up here at
the crown.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (12:36):
Okay.
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (12:37):
So we'll do that
maryann-walker--she-her (12:38):
quickly too, for those that are
listening only to the audio, Iwant to remind you we are also
on YouTube, so if you're avisual person, then do that.
And if not, just kind of the me-the places that he just
mentioned, just kind of flowthrough those, or you can just
tap on your sternum.
But I highly encourage you, comeand join us on YouTube.
I think we look pretty goodtoday.
What do you think?
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (12:57):
Yes.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:00):
well let's dive in.
I'm excited.
Anything else we need to knowbefore we begin?
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (13:04):
No, I would just say that we're
going to do three setupstatements as to kind of tell
our body what the purpose is.
And as we're saying those, wejust tap on the side of our hand
here, the karate chop point asit's called, and we'll just
continue tapping there.
And then we'll go through thecycle.
And we'll go through it a fewtimes with, a bunch of different
(13:25):
statements
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (13:26):
Okay, sounds good
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (13:28):
All right, so let's begin tapping on
our people-pleasing statements.
So we'll start with the karatechop point here, and you'll just
repeat after me.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:40):
Okay
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (13:41):
Even though I sometimes feel
responsible
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:45):
Even though I sometimes feel
responsible
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (13:49):
for others' emotions
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (13:51):
for others' emotions
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (13:54):
I know their emotions are their
business, not mine
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:58):
Hmm.
I know that their emotions aretheir business, not mine
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (14:04):
Even though my body and brain
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (14:09):
Even though my body and brain
matt-lengauer---radiant- (14:12):
reacts with anxiety around others'
emotions
maryann-walker--she-her- (14:16):
Reacts with anxiety around others'
emotions
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (14:20):
I know this is just an old program
running
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (14:25):
I know this is just an old program
running
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (14:28):
And I am updating it now
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (14:31):
and I am updating it now
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (14:34):
Even though I may feel like a bad
person
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (14:39):
Even though I may feel like a bad
person
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (14:42):
When others are hurt by my boundaries
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (14:46):
When others are hurt by my boundaries
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (14:49):
I know we must each take
responsibility
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (14:54):
I know we must each take
responsibility
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (14:58):
for ourselves, and these are just
old triggers I'm healing now
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (15:03):
for ourselves, and these are just
old triggers that I'm healingnow
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:11):
Inner brow.
I often feel responsible forothers' emotions
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (15:16):
I often feel responsible for
others' emotions
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (15:21):
side of the eye.
I believed that easing theirtension
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (15:27):
I believed that easing their
tension
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:30):
under the eye would also ease my
tension
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (15:34):
would also ease my tension.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:39):
under the nose.
If I can just make their lifeeasier
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (15:44):
If I can just make their life
easier
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:47):
under the mouth.
Mine will be easier too
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (15:51):
Mine will be easier too
matt-lengauer---rad (15:53):
Collarbone?
If I say no, it might make itworse
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (15:59):
If I say no, it might make it worse
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (16:03):
under the arm, I might feel like I
failed them
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (16:07):
I might feel like I failed them
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (16:11):
and the crown and failed myself
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:14):
and failed myself
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (16:18):
But now I know better
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:21):
But now I know better
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (16:25):
I know this is old conditioning
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (16:28):
I know this is old conditioning
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (16:32):
from family and society
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (16:35):
from family and society
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (16:39):
from experiences that reinforced it
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (16:43):
from experiences that reinforced it
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (16:48):
that it served me well at one point
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:51):
And it served me well at one point
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (16:54):
And I'm grateful that it did
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:57):
And I'm grateful that it did
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:01):
But I have better tools
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:03):
But I have better tools
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:04):
And I'm upgrading that program now
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:07):
And I'm upgrading that programming
now
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (17:12):
I know overgiving won't create the
connection I seek
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (17:17):
I know overgiving won't create the
connection I seek
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:22):
I'm choosing not to burn myself out
trying
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:26):
I'm choosing not to burn myself out
trying
matt-lengauer---radiant- (17:31):
People will be disappointed
maryann-walker--she-her- (17:34):
People will be disappointed
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (17:37):
be disappointed in them
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (17:39):
I'll be disappointed in them
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:42):
And that's okay
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:44):
And that's okay
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (17:47):
I will be living authentically
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (17:50):
I will be living authentically
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (17:54):
which means the right people will come
into my life
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (17:57):
Which means the right people will come
into my life
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (18:03):
From now on, only true authentic
connections will form
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (18:08):
From now on, only true authentic
connections will form
matt-lengauer---radi (18:13):
Everything I need to be emotionally safe
and strong
maryann-walker--she- (18:18):
Everything I need to be emotionally safe
and strong
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (18:22):
is already within me.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (18:25):
It's already within me
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (18:28):
I can tune in anytime I want
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (18:31):
I can tune in anytime I want.
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (18:35):
take the steps I need to take for me
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (18:38):
take the steps I need to take for me
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (18:42):
and let the chips fall where they
may
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (18:45):
and let the chips fall where they
may
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (18:49):
After all, I've made it this far
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (18:52):
After all, I've made it this far.
matt-lengauer---radiant (18:55):
Instead of surviving, I'm now thriving
maryann-walker--she-her (18:59):
Instead of surviving, I'm now thriving
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (19:03):
I am taking care of myself first
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (19:06):
I am taking care of myself first
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (19:11):
I am important
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (19:14):
I am important.
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (19:17):
I am now treating myself like I'm
important
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (19:21):
I am now treating myself like I'm
important
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (19:26):
And I will ask for what I need from
others
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (19:29):
And I will ask for what I need from
others
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (19:34):
they may not be able to deliver
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (19:37):
they may not be able to deliver.
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (19:40):
And that's just more information
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (19:43):
And that's just more information
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (19:46):
It doesn't speak to my character or
worth
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (19:49):
It doesn't speak to my character or
worth
matt-lengauer---radiant (19:53):
because my worth is inherent
maryann-walker--she-her (19:56):
Because my worth is inherent
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (20:00):
My worth comes from within, not
from how much I mean to others.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (20:05):
My worth comes from within, not
from how much I mean to others
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (20:12):
that I'm upgrading my programming
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:15):
Now that I'm upgrading my
programming
matt-lengauer---radiant- (20:18):
people may not like it
maryann-walker--she-her- (20:20):
People may not like it.
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (20:24):
And I get it
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:25):
And I get it
matt-lengauer---radiant (20:29):
They're not used to me having boundaries
maryann-walker--she-her (20:31):
They're not used to me having boundaries
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (20:35):
I'll know what to say when the time
comes
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (20:38):
I'll know what to say when the time
comes
matt-lengauer---radiant (20:42):
because my inner voice has been saying
it all along
maryann-walker--she-her (20:46):
Because my inner voice has been saying
it all along
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (20:50):
And now I trust it
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:52):
And now I trust it
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (20:56):
Now I trust myself
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:58):
Now I trust myself
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (21:02):
My sensitivity isn't the problem
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (21:05):
My sensitivity isn't the problem
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (21:10):
My sensitivity is my superpower
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (21:14):
My sensitivity is my superpower
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (21:19):
I am able to sense things quickly
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (21:23):
I am able to sense things quickly.
matt-lengauer---radia (21:26):
Sometimes that's uncomfortable
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (21:29):
And sometimes that's uncomfortable
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (21:33):
But it's just information
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (21:35):
But it's just information
matt-lengauer---radian (21:39):
Everyone loves me for my sensitivity
maryann-walker--she-he (21:42):
Everyone loves me for my sensitivity
matt-lengauer---radiant- (21:46):
That's why these new boundaries will
help me and them
maryann-walker--she-her- (21:50):
That's why these new boundaries will
help me and them
matt-lengauer---radiant (21:55):
Because I will love myself first from
now on
maryann-walker--she-her (21:58):
Because I will love myself first from
now on
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (22:03):
You can drop the arms and take a
deep breath and let that out Howdoes that feel?
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (22:16):
Thank you.
That was, that was interesting.
I mean, as you know, I've beenworking on this for a while.
It was very interesting to seewhich statements really landed,
which ones I resisted, whichones...
I mean, I, I apologize forlaughing in the middle.
I just thought,"Oh, yeah, they,it is gonna disappoint people
when you state boundaries," butletting go of,"I'm gonna stop
disappointing me." So that wasvery interesting to just notice
(22:38):
which of those statements werestill kind of sticking points
for me.
I think for me personally, I'm,I'm definitely going to be
re-listening to this or, youknow, even, even looking at the
transcript and repeating it formyself and sitting with it,
'cause this is a lifelongproject, isn't
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (22:54):
Yes, it is.
And I would say if there are afew that stand out to you, maybe
jot those down and just do awhole round just on that.
Um, and if you notice that thereare maybe s- spots that are more
sensitive than others, you canstay on it longer and then just
keep going.
And, yeah.
(23:14):
And my only other recommendationafterwards is to, especially
with this style of tapping, torepeat it on n- not just more
than once, but on different daysso that you're, you're kinda
conditioning it into your body.
And drink lots of water becausethis is a lot of work your body
is doing, and hydrating it keepsthat energy flowing.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (23:36):
Yeah.
It's a pretty big emotionaldetox, isn't
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (23:39):
it?
is.
It
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (23:40):
Yeah.
Yeah, it was interesting.
I don't know if people couldhear it, but there were some
where I could feel it in mythroat where it was, like,
almost hard to say.
Like, I wanted to be able to sayit and feel into it, but my body
was like,"Ooh, that's hard tosay." And those ones I really
felt myself think,"Oh, I justwanna say that one again.
I wanna keep saying it until Ican say it more freely." Like, I
could feel that it was stuck.
(24:01):
so yeah, this was superfascinating
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (24:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
it's like, um, especially thoseones that feel stuck.
It was like it was in a tightcontainer and now you've just
taken the lid off, and now it'sgoing to, it's gonna flow.
You're, there, it's gonna comeup throughout the day
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (24:17):
Thank you so much, Matt.
I appreciate that.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (24:20):
Thank you for demonstrating with me
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (24:22):
yeah, that was super fun.
Yeah, so everybody make sure youbookmark this.
If you noticed that emotionswere coming up for you, if you
noticed that some of these wereharder for you to say, make sure
that you bookmark this episodeand come back as many times as
you need and just follow along,because there is so much healing
to be had by actually taking thetime to process this in your
body and to rewire your mind sothat you can actually truly feel
(24:47):
and believe it.
Okay, now Matt, before we gothen, I understand that you have
an event coming up later thismonth in northern Utah.
Can you tell us a bit aboutthat?
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (24:57):
Yes, I'm really excited to be
presenting at the Energy HealingConference in Layton, Utah.
So this is their summerconference that is going to be
June 19th and 20th.
I'll be presenting on themorning of the 19th.
It's a Friday.
And I'm going to be doing a50-minute, five-zero, session on
(25:20):
a specific way to tap that'sdifferent from this one.
This is the one where I get morelaser-focused on a specific
fear.
I love this because we get deepinto the underlying belief that
it's fun for me, to kinda digreally deep and find out why am
I so afraid of this, So we'regonna work on those.
(25:40):
We're going to tap through it.
I'm also going to haveone-on-one tapping sessions at
my booth both days.
So I would love it if everyonewho is in the area or who wants
to fly out there just to comevisit me and watch it and get
involved
maryann-walker--she-he (25:56):
Awesome.
Yeah, well, I know I'm for suregoing to be there.
I'm so excited to come.
This is where Matt and I met afew years ago, was at the Energy
Healing Conference when I waspresenting, and now he's
presenting, and I am just soexcited about it.
And Matt also has a link whereyou can go and get free tickets.
I'm gonna putting, be puttingthat in the show notes, so if
you're in the area, then we canget you some tickets.
(26:17):
And Matt, how can people findyou?
you have such a wealth ofknowledge, and I'm excited
you're gonna be tapping intothose fears and those phobias at
the conference because, oh mygoodness, like I think about all
of the fears that specificallymy audience has, you know, the
fear of abandonment, the fear ofare they not going to like me
anymore if I tell them no, orwho's gonna be upset?
And so yeah, how can people findyou if they want to connect with
(26:40):
you further?
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (26:41):
Yeah, so I would recommend following
me on Instagram and YouTube,Radiant Souls LLC.
and my website where you canlearn more about me and the work
I do and the different, servicesthat I offer,
wearradiantsouls.com.
and I really just wanna workwith people to help them shine
their true light that's withinthem and just be weird and be
(27:04):
you
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (27:05):
Yeah, I love that.
And I will be linking all of hiscontact information in the show
notes, so you can just click tocheck that out.
Matt is very entertaining tofollow on Instagram, so yes, go
and follow him for sure.
And Matt, if there was just onemessage that you wanted my
audience to just really take toheart today, what would that be?
matt-lengauer---radiant (27:23):
There's no urgency and there's no race
to work on you.
You go at your own pace and justbe kind and loving to yourself
when you do it.
And, you're not on anyone else'stimeline but your own
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (27:39):
Hmm.
I love that, especially for thisaudience I love that so much.
Great.
Well, thank you so much forbeing here, Matt, and yeah, I'll
see everybody next week.
Bye now.
Well, welcome back.
More than likely if you're herelistening, it's because you are
a recovering people pleaser andyou're looking for simple,
actionable tools to help you todecrease anxiety, decrease
cortisol, increase peace,increase confidence, and just
overall feel better.
And if that is you, you aregoing to absolutely love today's
episode.
You're going to want to bookmarkthis episode and come back to it
(01:04):
any time that you find yourselfexperiencing all of the
overwhelming emotions that cancome with being a people
pleaser, because today we'regoing to be doing a live
practice together.
But before we dive into thispractice, then I want to
introduce you to my friend andcolleague, Matt Lengauer.
He is the founder of RadiantSouls.
He's a certified life coach,Reiki master, and energy healing
(01:24):
mentor.
And he has felt personallycalled to help people transform
their lives..
He has a particular interest inEFT tapping, as well as in
LGBTQIA+ empowerment and queerspirituality.
Ultimately, his goal is to helpother people shine their light
by breaking free of falseidentity programming.
Matt, welcome.
I am so happy that you are here.
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (01:45):
So happy to be here.
Hello
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (01:47):
Now, before we dive in, can you tell
us a little bit about yourstory?
Because I think that my audienceis really going to resonate with
you.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (01:54):
Yeah.
So, I grew up very much a peoplepleaser.
I call myself a recoveringpeople pleaser now that I've
done a lot of healing work onit.
I have always been verysensitive to other people's
emotions and felt the obligationto fix their emotions so that I
could feel better.
(02:15):
and I kinda got trapped in thatloop of doing that from a very
young age, and then I kept doingit in adulthood, which causes me
a lot of interpersonal issuesand not getting my needs met.
so I did a lot of healing workthrough energy healing and,
through tapping specifically,and of course, working with a,
an amazing life coach.
(02:36):
so it really kinda got me toreprogram a lot of those beliefs
that, you know, I am only worthyand lovable if I am making other
people happy and fixing theirproblems and doing everything
that they want me to do, youknow, all of that kind of
fawning, with other people toreduce the tension I was feeling
from their emotions.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (02:59):
Oh, goodness, yes.
That we do so much of thisbecause we're trying to release
our own tensions, right?
That then we're gonna befawning, we're gonna be people
pleasing, we're gonna beprioritizing everybody else just
in an attempt to experience thatpeace.
And I appreciate that you saidthat this is something that's
kind of been with you your wholelife.
'Cause I think that for so manypeople, yeah, it does start on,
in childhood, and it's like,"Ohyeah, if I can make mom and dad
(03:20):
happy, it's all gonna be great."And then recognizing as we get
older that, oh my goodness, I'mstill doing this in
relationships, and this was mychildhood coping mechanism, and
how can I break free of that?
And today we're going to betalking about one very specific
tool that you mentioned has beenreally helpful with this.
And yeah, will you tell us whatthat tool is?
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (03:39):
Yeah.
So tapping or EFT tapping, thereare a lot of different ways to
do this.
If you looked up tapping videoson YouTube, you would probably
get millions, and, each persondoes it a different way.
So I specifically do it twodifferent ways.
One we're going to do today,where we're trying to just
reprogram and incorporate newbeliefs by acknowledging the old
(04:03):
ones without judgment and kindaletting those go, and then
incorporating, new ones, kinda,I call it reprogramming.
So, what we're going to do istouch different parts of our
upper body, that are pressurepoints, and this releases a lot
of stored energy in our body.
And when we're saying andthinking about these specific
(04:25):
beliefs that we have, we'regoing to be activating that
energy and releasing it.
so if you think about whenyou're anxious or in distress or
in shock or something, a lot oftimes we'll touch right here, or
we'll do this, or we rub ourface.
These are all different pressurepoints here that we're going to
(04:47):
be tapping.
So our body already knows andautomatically wants us to touch
those places to relieve stress.
so we're just gonna do it
maryann-walker--she-her (04:57):
amazing
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (04:57):
yeah.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (04:58):
Yeah, that the body knows and that
mind-body connection.
Yeah.
Yeah,'cause as you know, I workso much with thought work, and I
love the idea of combining thethought work with the body work
and putting the two togetherbecause, you know, we've talked
about h- before here on thepodcast that the body keeps the
score.
And I love that you pointed outthat, yeah, we, we automatically
put our hand to our chest to go,and gasp for air or rub our
(05:21):
temples and think,"Oh mygoodness, what's going on?" And
that that is your body's way ofhelping you to process those
emotions and helping you torelease those emotions.
So yeah, tell us more about howdoes this even work?
What is going on when you'retapping?
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (05:35):
Yeah.
So when we apply pressure tothese different points, and this
can be done in other ways,that's why people will get
acupuncture, acupressure, it'srelieving that energy, and our
body is constantly movingenergy.
And, it's not all woo-woo.
This is science,science-researched and a fact
that your brain emits energy.
(05:56):
It can be measured.
Your heart emits energy.
It can be measured.
All of this is moving throughyour body.
So what we're going to do is,trauma, phobias, limiting
beliefs, they get stuck.
So by applying pressure in thesedifferent places, I'm gonna take
you through a script that kindof resets what beliefs you want
(06:19):
to incorporate into your system.
So this is one way.
When I work one-on-one withsomeone, I do it a little bit
differently, and we actuallylaser-focus in onto a specific
fear or a limiting belief, andwe can measure just, like, scale
of one to 10, what does thatfeel like now, do a round of
tapping, and then what does itfeel like, post-tapping?
(06:41):
And we do that.
And, like, why not use yourbody's natural way of healing
and natural way of relievingstress to, like, get rid of this
in 10 to 20 minutes?
I mean, it's such an easy thingto do
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (06:52):
Yeah.
Yeah, and so I've personallyused tapping quite a bit.
I've noticed for myself,sometimes I'll even just tap on
my sternum as I'm driving downthe road, you know, whilst I'm
driving and help me to processemotions.
But is there anybody thattapping isn't for?
Like, is this contraindicated inany way for anybody?
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (07:08):
You know, really, even if someone
isn't able to tap on themselves,like, um, the best example I can
give is, like, trying to get a,a child to tap.
It might not always be great,but if you can get them to watch
you tap on yourself, our neuronsalso mirror other people's,
energy.
So what relief I'm starting toshow myself, the person in front
(07:32):
of me watching is going to pickup on that, just like, I mean,
we're all highly sensitivepeople.
We're already picking up onthat.
So that's one superpower that wehave as highly sensitive people,
to be able to pick up also onthe relief, not just the anxiety
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (07:47):
I love that.
And what an amazing tool for aparent to use to help their kids
learn how to process emotionsor, or even just anybody, even
just sitting with a friend andsaying,"Hey, let's, let's tap it
out." It, it's interesting asI'm working with clients too,
and I'm sure that you'veexperienced this as well, that I
also experience the relief aswe're working together.
It's like,
matt-lengauer---rad (08:04):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I will say, you don't evenhave to believe that it works
for it to work because, a friendof mine who's a big skeptic of
anything like this, she recentlydid tapping on something for her
life recommended by hertherapist, and she said to me,
she's like,"It shouldn't work,but it does." She's like,"I, I
(08:25):
don't understand why it works,but it does." So she just does
it.
And, you know, if you, if you'refeeling the benefits from, you
know, it, it often doesn'tmatter how you get there
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (08:35):
Yeah.
So for you personally or for ourlisteners, how do you know when
you should use tapping?
matt-lengauer---radiant (08:42):
Anytime you want to relieve yourself, I-
my meter is usually something'sfrustrating me.
Okay, what's frustrating meabout this?
And I'm a journaler, so a lot oftimes I'll start there, and I'll
be like,"Okay, there's some,like, core limiting beliefs
here." So I make YouTube videosfor the LGBT specifically for
tapping.
(09:02):
And so I will focus in on thingsthat, come up a lot for us.
So body image, feeling inferior,religious trauma, feeling
outcast, those sorts of issuesthat our community feels a lot.
So, I will find, and I justkinda meditate on that, and I
create a script of what was thenegative stuff coming up, and
(09:23):
then what is a more realisticbelief, and then focus on the
positive, affirmations to tapalong.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (09:30):
Yeah.
I love that so much because Ikn- that's been especially
helpful for me is when I'mtapping, I have to identify what
the problem is and acknowledgewhere I'm currently at, but I
also have to really invest someenergy into, and how do I wanna
flip this?
Where do I want to be?
What else is true?
Like, I have to be veryintentional about it,'cause like
you said, it can be really easyto get stuck in that spiral
(09:53):
where we're just kind of alldoom and gloom.
And tapping, I think, for me,has been so helpful with just
shifting it and helping me tomove through it and get to the
other side so that I can seethings a little bit more
clearly.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (10:05):
Yeah.
And what's wonderful is you canlive with, even if you don't
totally believe the new belief,you can live with it a little
bit better, and you can practiceit a little bit better because
the tapping has removed theemotional charge to it.
So it's not erasing memories.
It's not erasing, your old self.
You're not, you're not lettingthat go, but you can live with
(10:28):
it.
You can say,"Okay, yeah, I dokinda have this, but it doesn't
really bother me." And then youcan focus more on, well, what is
gonna bring me joy?
What is a more realistic or atleast an alternative, like you
said, an alternative belief?
What else is true?
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (10:44):
Yeah.
Yeah, and like you said, it'snot going to erase it, but it
kinda has me thinking, I'vetalked before about turning up
or down the volume on certainthoughts.
And it sounds like it's exactlythat experience where it's like,
"No, this is still a part of me,but I'm not gonna let it just be
ringing in my ears 24/7 anymore.
I'm-- It's gonna quiet down alittle.
I can process it in my body." Ithink we underestimate how much
(11:05):
work is actually done in ourbody.
We think we can just think ourway through it, but really
getting in the body, be itthrough tapping or any other
somatic practice, can be soincredibly healing.
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (11:17):
Yes.
Yes
maryann-walker--she-he (11:19):
Awesome.
Well, I'm excited because Matthas prepared a script
specifically for this audience,and I'm so excited about this.
So you had mentioned before thatyou like to have your clients
kind of like rank where they'reat on a scale.
Should the listeners do thatbefore they start?
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (11:33):
So for this particular way of doing
it, you don't have to do that.
All you'll really be doing isyou'll be following me where I'm
tapping and, and then you'lljust repeat after me.
And I'll kind of...
I'll try to say it slow so youcan repeat, and then if you
wouldn't mind, you know, helpingout here and repeating after me
and kind of we'll, we'll, we'llgo at that pace.
(11:55):
Um, but to kind of introducethose tapping, the places we're
gonna tap real, just real quick,and if you have glasses, you
probably wanna take them off.
but we'll start with the, theinner brow.
You can do both sides, or youcan just do one side, but the
inner brow here, and then theside of the eye, and then under
(12:16):
the eye, under the nose, underthe mouth, right here at the
collarbone where it feels alittle sensitive, and then under
the arm on the rib And thenwe'll finish a cycle up here at
the crown.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (12:36):
Okay.
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (12:37):
So we'll do that
maryann-walker--she-her (12:38):
quickly too, for those that are
listening only to the audio, Iwant to remind you we are also
on YouTube, so if you're avisual person, then do that.
And if not, just kind of the me-the places that he just
mentioned, just kind of flowthrough those, or you can just
tap on your sternum.
But I highly encourage you, comeand join us on YouTube.
I think we look pretty goodtoday.
What do you think?
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (12:57):
Yes.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:00):
well let's dive in.
I'm excited.
Anything else we need to knowbefore we begin?
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (13:04):
No, I would just say that we're
going to do three setupstatements as to kind of tell
our body what the purpose is.
And as we're saying those, wejust tap on the side of our hand
here, the karate chop point asit's called, and we'll just
continue tapping there.
And then we'll go through thecycle.
And we'll go through it a fewtimes with, a bunch of different
(13:25):
statements
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (13:26):
Okay, sounds good
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (13:28):
All right, so let's begin tapping on
our people-pleasing statements.
So we'll start with the karatechop point here, and you'll just
repeat after me.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:40):
Okay
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (13:41):
Even though I sometimes feel
responsible
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:45):
Even though I sometimes feel
responsible
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (13:49):
for others' emotions
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (13:51):
for others' emotions
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (13:54):
I know their emotions are their
business, not mine
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (13:58):
Hmm.
I know that their emotions aretheir business, not mine
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (14:04):
Even though my body and brain
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (14:09):
Even though my body and brain
matt-lengauer---radiant- (14:12):
reacts with anxiety around others'
emotions
maryann-walker--she-her- (14:16):
Reacts with anxiety around others'
emotions
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (14:20):
I know this is just an old program
running
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (14:25):
I know this is just an old program
running
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (14:28):
And I am updating it now
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (14:31):
and I am updating it now
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (14:34):
Even though I may feel like a bad
person
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (14:39):
Even though I may feel like a bad
person
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (14:42):
When others are hurt by my boundaries
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (14:46):
When others are hurt by my boundaries
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (14:49):
I know we must each take
responsibility
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (14:54):
I know we must each take
responsibility
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (14:58):
for ourselves, and these are just
old triggers I'm healing now
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (15:03):
for ourselves, and these are just
old triggers that I'm healingnow
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:11):
Inner brow.
I often feel responsible forothers' emotions
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (15:16):
I often feel responsible for
others' emotions
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (15:21):
side of the eye.
I believed that easing theirtension
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (15:27):
I believed that easing their
tension
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:30):
under the eye would also ease my
tension
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (15:34):
would also ease my tension.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:39):
under the nose.
If I can just make their lifeeasier
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (15:44):
If I can just make their life
easier
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (15:47):
under the mouth.
Mine will be easier too
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (15:51):
Mine will be easier too
matt-lengauer---rad (15:53):
Collarbone?
If I say no, it might make itworse
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (15:59):
If I say no, it might make it worse
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (16:03):
under the arm, I might feel like I
failed them
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (16:07):
I might feel like I failed them
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (16:11):
and the crown and failed myself
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:14):
and failed myself
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (16:18):
But now I know better
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:21):
But now I know better
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (16:25):
I know this is old conditioning
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (16:28):
I know this is old conditioning
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (16:32):
from family and society
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (16:35):
from family and society
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (16:39):
from experiences that reinforced it
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (16:43):
from experiences that reinforced it
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (16:48):
that it served me well at one point
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:51):
And it served me well at one point
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (16:54):
And I'm grateful that it did
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (16:57):
And I'm grateful that it did
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:01):
But I have better tools
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:03):
But I have better tools
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:04):
And I'm upgrading that program now
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:07):
And I'm upgrading that programming
now
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (17:12):
I know overgiving won't create the
connection I seek
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (17:17):
I know overgiving won't create the
connection I seek
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:22):
I'm choosing not to burn myself out
trying
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:26):
I'm choosing not to burn myself out
trying
matt-lengauer---radiant- (17:31):
People will be disappointed
maryann-walker--she-her- (17:34):
People will be disappointed
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (17:37):
be disappointed in them
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (17:39):
I'll be disappointed in them
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (17:42):
And that's okay
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (17:44):
And that's okay
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (17:47):
I will be living authentically
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (17:50):
I will be living authentically
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (17:54):
which means the right people will come
into my life
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (17:57):
Which means the right people will come
into my life
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (18:03):
From now on, only true authentic
connections will form
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (18:08):
From now on, only true authentic
connections will form
matt-lengauer---radi (18:13):
Everything I need to be emotionally safe
and strong
maryann-walker--she- (18:18):
Everything I need to be emotionally safe
and strong
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (18:22):
is already within me.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (18:25):
It's already within me
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (18:28):
I can tune in anytime I want
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (18:31):
I can tune in anytime I want.
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (18:35):
take the steps I need to take for me
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (18:38):
take the steps I need to take for me
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (18:42):
and let the chips fall where they
may
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (18:45):
and let the chips fall where they
may
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (18:49):
After all, I've made it this far
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (18:52):
After all, I've made it this far.
matt-lengauer---radiant (18:55):
Instead of surviving, I'm now thriving
maryann-walker--she-her (18:59):
Instead of surviving, I'm now thriving
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (19:03):
I am taking care of myself first
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (19:06):
I am taking care of myself first
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (19:11):
I am important
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (19:14):
I am important.
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (19:17):
I am now treating myself like I'm
important
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (19:21):
I am now treating myself like I'm
important
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (19:26):
And I will ask for what I need from
others
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (19:29):
And I will ask for what I need from
others
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (19:34):
they may not be able to deliver
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (19:37):
they may not be able to deliver.
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (19:40):
And that's just more information
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (19:43):
And that's just more information
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (19:46):
It doesn't speak to my character or
worth
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (19:49):
It doesn't speak to my character or
worth
matt-lengauer---radiant (19:53):
because my worth is inherent
maryann-walker--she-her (19:56):
Because my worth is inherent
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (20:00):
My worth comes from within, not
from how much I mean to others.
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (20:05):
My worth comes from within, not
from how much I mean to others
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (20:12):
that I'm upgrading my programming
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:15):
Now that I'm upgrading my
programming
matt-lengauer---radiant- (20:18):
people may not like it
maryann-walker--she-her- (20:20):
People may not like it.
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (20:24):
And I get it
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:25):
And I get it
matt-lengauer---radiant (20:29):
They're not used to me having boundaries
maryann-walker--she-her (20:31):
They're not used to me having boundaries
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (20:35):
I'll know what to say when the time
comes
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (20:38):
I'll know what to say when the time
comes
matt-lengauer---radiant (20:42):
because my inner voice has been saying
it all along
maryann-walker--she-her (20:46):
Because my inner voice has been saying
it all along
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (20:50):
And now I trust it
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:52):
And now I trust it
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (20:56):
Now I trust myself
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (20:58):
Now I trust myself
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (21:02):
My sensitivity isn't the problem
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (21:05):
My sensitivity isn't the problem
matt-lengauer---radiant-soul (21:10):
My sensitivity is my superpower
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_0 (21:14):
My sensitivity is my superpower
matt-lengauer---radiant-souls (21:19):
I am able to sense things quickly
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_05 (21:23):
I am able to sense things quickly.
matt-lengauer---radia (21:26):
Sometimes that's uncomfortable
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (21:29):
And sometimes that's uncomfortable
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (21:33):
But it's just information
maryann-walker--she-her-_2_ (21:35):
But it's just information
matt-lengauer---radian (21:39):
Everyone loves me for my sensitivity
maryann-walker--she-he (21:42):
Everyone loves me for my sensitivity
matt-lengauer---radiant- (21:46):
That's why these new boundaries will
help me and them
maryann-walker--she-her- (21:50):
That's why these new boundaries will
help me and them
matt-lengauer---radiant (21:55):
Because I will love myself first from
now on
maryann-walker--she-her (21:58):
Because I will love myself first from
now on
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (22:03):
You can drop the arms and take a
deep breath and let that out Howdoes that feel?
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (22:16):
Thank you.
That was, that was interesting.
I mean, as you know, I've beenworking on this for a while.
It was very interesting to seewhich statements really landed,
which ones I resisted, whichones...
I mean, I, I apologize forlaughing in the middle.
I just thought,"Oh, yeah, they,it is gonna disappoint people
when you state boundaries," butletting go of,"I'm gonna stop
disappointing me." So that wasvery interesting to just notice
(22:38):
which of those statements werestill kind of sticking points
for me.
I think for me personally, I'm,I'm definitely going to be
re-listening to this or, youknow, even, even looking at the
transcript and repeating it formyself and sitting with it,
'cause this is a lifelongproject, isn't
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (22:54):
Yes, it is.
And I would say if there are afew that stand out to you, maybe
jot those down and just do awhole round just on that.
Um, and if you notice that thereare maybe s- spots that are more
sensitive than others, you canstay on it longer and then just
keep going.
And, yeah.
(23:14):
And my only other recommendationafterwards is to, especially
with this style of tapping, torepeat it on n- not just more
than once, but on different daysso that you're, you're kinda
conditioning it into your body.
And drink lots of water becausethis is a lot of work your body
is doing, and hydrating it keepsthat energy flowing.
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (23:36):
Yeah.
It's a pretty big emotionaldetox, isn't
matt-lengauer---radiant-sou (23:39):
it?
is.
It
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (23:40):
Yeah.
Yeah, it was interesting.
I don't know if people couldhear it, but there were some
where I could feel it in mythroat where it was, like,
almost hard to say.
Like, I wanted to be able to sayit and feel into it, but my body
was like,"Ooh, that's hard tosay." And those ones I really
felt myself think,"Oh, I justwanna say that one again.
I wanna keep saying it until Ican say it more freely." Like, I
could feel that it was stuck.
(24:01):
so yeah, this was superfascinating
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (24:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
it's like, um, especially thoseones that feel stuck.
It was like it was in a tightcontainer and now you've just
taken the lid off, and now it'sgoing to, it's gonna flow.
You're, there, it's gonna comeup throughout the day
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (24:17):
Thank you so much, Matt.
I appreciate that.
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (24:20):
Thank you for demonstrating with me
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (24:22):
yeah, that was super fun.
Yeah, so everybody make sure youbookmark this.
If you noticed that emotionswere coming up for you, if you
noticed that some of these wereharder for you to say, make sure
that you bookmark this episodeand come back as many times as
you need and just follow along,because there is so much healing
to be had by actually taking thetime to process this in your
body and to rewire your mind sothat you can actually truly feel
(24:47):
and believe it.
Okay, now Matt, before we gothen, I understand that you have
an event coming up later thismonth in northern Utah.
Can you tell us a bit aboutthat?
matt-lengauer---radiant-so (24:57):
Yes, I'm really excited to be
presenting at the Energy HealingConference in Layton, Utah.
So this is their summerconference that is going to be
June 19th and 20th.
I'll be presenting on themorning of the 19th.
It's a Friday.
And I'm going to be doing a50-minute, five-zero, session on
(25:20):
a specific way to tap that'sdifferent from this one.
This is the one where I get morelaser-focused on a specific
fear.
I love this because we get deepinto the underlying belief that
it's fun for me, to kinda digreally deep and find out why am
I so afraid of this, So we'regonna work on those.
(25:40):
We're going to tap through it.
I'm also going to haveone-on-one tapping sessions at
my booth both days.
So I would love it if everyonewho is in the area or who wants
to fly out there just to comevisit me and watch it and get
involved
maryann-walker--she-he (25:56):
Awesome.
Yeah, well, I know I'm for suregoing to be there.
I'm so excited to come.
This is where Matt and I met afew years ago, was at the Energy
Healing Conference when I waspresenting, and now he's
presenting, and I am just soexcited about it.
And Matt also has a link whereyou can go and get free tickets.
I'm gonna putting, be puttingthat in the show notes, so if
you're in the area, then we canget you some tickets.
(26:17):
And Matt, how can people findyou?
you have such a wealth ofknowledge, and I'm excited
you're gonna be tapping intothose fears and those phobias at
the conference because, oh mygoodness, like I think about all
of the fears that specificallymy audience has, you know, the
fear of abandonment, the fear ofare they not going to like me
anymore if I tell them no, orwho's gonna be upset?
And so yeah, how can people findyou if they want to connect with
(26:40):
you further?
matt-lengauer---radiant-s (26:41):
Yeah, so I would recommend following
me on Instagram and YouTube,Radiant Souls LLC.
and my website where you canlearn more about me and the work
I do and the different, servicesthat I offer,
wearradiantsouls.com.
and I really just wanna workwith people to help them shine
their true light that's withinthem and just be weird and be
(27:04):
you
maryann-walker--she-her-_ (27:05):
Yeah, I love that.
And I will be linking all of hiscontact information in the show
notes, so you can just click tocheck that out.
Matt is very entertaining tofollow on Instagram, so yes, go
and follow him for sure.
And Matt, if there was just onemessage that you wanted my
audience to just really take toheart today, what would that be?
matt-lengauer---radiant (27:23):
There's no urgency and there's no race
to work on you.
You go at your own pace and justbe kind and loving to yourself
when you do it.
And, you're not on anyone else'stimeline but your own
maryann-walker--she-her-_2 (27:39):
Hmm.
I love that, especially for thisaudience I love that so much.
Great.
Well, thank you so much forbeing here, Matt, and yeah, I'll
see everybody next week.
Bye now.
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