November 20, 2025 • 41 mins
We explore why success can feel empty and how to find real fulfillment by aligning goals with core values. Constance Curtis shares tools for identifying values, breaking people pleasing, and moving from awareness to action with simple daily practices.
• redefining success as fulfillment over validation
• purpose as who you are, not what you do
• listing what lights you up, then asking why
• choosing 3–5 core values as a compass
• common blocks including people pleasing and low self-worth
• three-stage method of awareness, acceptance, action
• practical tools such as joy journaling and vision work
• 30-day abundance challenge to shift from scarcity
• sensing values in the body for clarity
• one aligned step toward a six to twelve month goal
Share this with someone who needs a nudge toward purpose. Re-listen to capture the exercises and try the abundance challenge this week
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cassandra (00:25):
Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like
to welcome you to Is Your Way inYour Way.
And I'm your host.
My name is Cassandra CrawleyMayo.
And for my new listeners outthere, the name of my book is
titled Is Your Way in Your Way.
And I tell you, uh, sotherefore, and actually the book
(00:47):
is for women, just like mypodcasts are for women, although
I know men listen, and that'sI'm okay with that.
But what I'd like for you toknow, I like to know, first of
all, especially these newlisteners out there, are you
ready to stop getting in yourown way and start living the
life that you were truly meantfor?
(01:08):
Well, again, I'm Cassandra.
I am a best-selling author, Iam a mentor, a speaker, and your
guide to all thingstransformative.
Now, each week we dive deepwith powerful guests and
practical tools to help youovercome these self-imposed
(01:28):
barriers and design your bestlife on purpose, with faith, and
without apology.
And today you're in for asoul-shifting conversation with
transformational coach ConstanceCurtis.
So let's get started.
Let me introduce you toConstance.
Hi, Constance.
Constance (01:49):
Hello, Cassandra.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
Cassandra (01:52):
I am glad you are here, girl.
Now, you listen, before we getstarted, I just want to read
your bio because my listenersalways want to know what
qualifies her to talk about whatshe's going to talk about.
And our topic today is findingfulfillment through purpose.
And let me get started on thisbio so we can have a deep dive
(02:16):
into this conversation.
As I mentioned, listeners,she's a transformational coach,
entrepreneur, and reinventionstrategist who helps people
break free from what's holdingthem back and align with who
they were truly created to be.
She has 20 plus years ofexperience and her own journey
through purpose-fueled pivots.
(02:39):
She now guides creative leadersand entrepreneurs to release
self-doubt, reconnect with theirvalues, and create lives rooted
in clarity and courage.
Her no-fluff, heart-centeredapproach speaks to anyone ready
to stop settling and startliving fully.
(03:03):
But was there anything that youreally wanted to do when you
(03:29):
were growing up?
Constance (03:31):
You know what?
There wasn't anything inparticular, but I did grow up
with two parents that wereentrepreneurs.
So at a very young age, I wasexposed to my mother owned a
preschool and a preschool that Iwent to that she actually still
owns.
So she's owned this.
Yeah.
So she's owned this preschoolfor over 35 years now, which has
(03:56):
been absolutely incredible.
And then my father has a citrusfarm.
So he grew up.
So I grew up watching mygrandfather and my father build
that company.
So I was blessed in that I wasexposed to entrepreneurship and
understood that that could be,you know, a path, a way forward
(04:17):
for me.
However, after college, Iactually went into the corporate
world.
So I didn't at first take thatroute, although I quickly found
it a few years later.
Cassandra (04:31):
Okay.
Okay.
Um, so let me ask you beforeyou became this transformational
coach, it's interesting thatboth of your parents were
entrepreneurs, and I alwayssaid, bring up a child the way
they should go, and they willnot depart from it.
So I'm not sure whether theybrought you up to be an
entrepreneur, but a lot of timeswe do what we don't so much do
(04:52):
what they say, we we look atwhat they do.
So as you observe thatthroughout growing up and
everything, like, wow, this ispretty cool.
So that was kind of like partof your DNA, the entrepreneur
piece.
So before you became thiscoach, this transformational
coach, what was life like beforethen?
(05:13):
What was going on with you?
Constance (05:16):
I was building a life, I would say, from
programming, right?
So as we grow up throughchildhood, all the things that
we think we have to do and thatwe should do.
And I was chasing achievementsfor external validation.
So, and not that nothing thattruly fulfills my soul, fulfills
(05:38):
the the ego, the bad ego partof me, but it wasn't fulfilling
what would make me happy on asoul level, on a heart, like you
know, from from my heart.
So I had to get get reallyquiet um after you know, I I had
realized that, and that's whatled me to where I'm at now.
How long did it take you tofigure that out?
(06:00):
Oh my goodness.
Cassandra (06:01):
You weren't happy and you know you needed to do
something and and all of that.
How long did that take?
Constance (06:07):
You know, I didn't realize right away that I wasn't
happy.
In fact, I just kept thinkingthat, well, the next mountain I
climb, that's that's when I'mgonna feel the fulfillment.
That's when I'm gonna gethappy.
And then I would get to thatmountain, and then there would
be another mountain to climb,right?
So there was always somethingthat I was working on that I
(06:30):
knew, well, once I just getthere, then I'm going to feel
internally that that sensationthat I've been longing for until
I until it never came, right?
And so what I did is I Istripped away, stripped away all
of the achievements that I had,you know, ever ever achieved in
(06:52):
life, including, you know,raising money from from
investors and launching atechnology company and all of
these things, and thought if allof that went away, if nobody
knew what I did, am I trulyliving a life that fulfills me?
And the qu the the answer wasno.
And so the question is that isbecomes how do you build a life
(07:18):
of purpose?
And majority of us think it iswhat we're here to do, but it's
not.
It's actually rediscovering whoyou are, it's rediscovering
what fulfills you, it'srediscovering your true purpose
here on this earth, and and youknow, how what makes you shine
inside?
And once you can start toidentify those, that is where
(07:39):
you can begin to shift and feelthat fulfillment and happiness
inside.
Cassandra (07:43):
Yeah.
Now, how do you figure out, youknow, uh, as I indicated, like
the the name of the podcast isIs Your Way in Your Way?
Um, what took you?
Well, uh no, let me no, let meask you this.
How did you figure out?
Because, you know, it's you'reright.
(08:04):
You do one thing, you know,you're like, okay, when we get
out of school, okay, we'resupposed to get married, have a
white picket fence, have kids,blah, blah, blah.
That's the old way.
I mean, that's how you wouldthink.
Some of us were brought up thatway.
(08:40):
And then after that, there areindividuals that start like,
well, what am I?
Why am I here?
What's my purpose?
And you indicated you wereunsettled, you weren't not, you
weren't not happy, but as timeand life moved on, you realized
that it was something else.
How did you figure that out?
How would my listeners figurethat out?
(09:01):
What else is there?
Constance (09:03):
Yeah, so the first thing that I encourage all of
you know my clients to do thatI'm working with is rediscover
what are the things that lightyou up?
Make a list, make those listsof the things that they it can
be anything from traveling,visiting with family and
friends, um, you know, buildinga company, but then ask yourself
over and over and over againwhy?
(09:24):
Why?
What is it?
What is the deeper, deeperdesire behind that that fulfills
my soul?
So for instance, I'll takespending time with family and
friends for me is is one of thethings that I love to do, and I
make a lot of time for it.
And part of that's like, well,why?
And it's the deeper, the deeperdesire there is connection.
(09:48):
So we all have these corevalues, and I like to use them
as an internal compass to guideus and create a life that is
fulfilled.
So my four words, and you canhave like three to five words,
but these words should be usedin in every in the decisions
that you make, both personallyand professionally.
(10:10):
And as long as you can tie yourvision and your goals to one of
your core values that fulfillsyour soul, then you're going to
build a life and alignment,right?
So I knew my core values wereconnection, freedom,
experiences, and nourishment.
So when I got quiet with myselfand I asked, okay, is the
(10:35):
company I'm build building, doesit does it, how does it nourish
me?
Am I connected to my clients?
Am I connected to what I'mbuilding?
If it's not tied to those corevalues, then it's not in
alignment with who you trulyare.
So that is the the first thingthat you need to do is
understand what it is that youlove to do, what fulfills your
(10:58):
soul, what lights you up inside,and then get down to the deeper
desire of why.
And it should be one word.
What is the reason?
Like, for instance, it could beyou love to travel, and it's
because it nourishes your soul,right?
So that word, your core valueis nourishment, and that helps
you to understand, okay, thethis is my internal compass to
(11:19):
help me guide, help to helpguide me through life to to live
a life of fulfillment.
Cassandra (11:24):
Okay, so those three things like connection, freedom,
and nourishment.
Um you had you you had all ofthose things within what you
wanted to do.
So, how did you select thetransformational coach?
Where did those those thosevalues that you have?
How did the transformationalcoach come in?
Constance (11:47):
Yeah, so it really came from from just myself and
the transformation that I wentthrough, right?
So building what I was buildingbefore I did the internal work
on myself, I was building a lifethat wasn't aligned with me.
I was building a life thatlooked good on paper or that
everyone else told me I shouldbuild, right?
(12:09):
And so when I got quiet withmyself and I understood my core
values, then that's where when Istarted saying, okay, these are
the personal decisions andprofessional decisions that I'm
going to begin to make.
And that's when I realized,like, even if I don't when I hit
this goal, I'm not going to behappy.
I'm already happy.
So when I hit the goal, that'samazing.
I'm excited and I can't wait tohit that goal.
(12:31):
But I'm already happy andfulfilled inside it as I'm
building towards that goal.
So as I started transformingand building my life and just
woke up one day and was justlike, oh my gosh, like everyone
needs to feel this, right?
Like I want everyone to wake upand just be like ready to like
take on the day because theyjust are feeling like even the
(12:54):
thing, even like my going for awalk, like my connecting with
nature every single morning, itis a non-negotiable for me.
I do it every single morningfrom seven to eight.
That is my time to connect withnature and take a walk in the,
you know, in the park orwherever it may be.
And so really designing my lifearound the things that fulfill
me.
I thought, oh my goodness, ifmore people did this and stopped
(13:18):
chasing achievements and goalsand visions because of the
shoulds and the have-to's, andreally chased their achievements
and goals based on what trulyfulfilled them.
Wow, what a you knowtransformation we would have as
a society, right?
Like a collective ship of allof us just like truly living our
(13:39):
purpose.
And so it, I talked, woke upone day and I said to my coach,
you know, I was consulting atthe time with entrepreneurs and
I was giving strategy and I wasnoticing, oh, they're
self-sabotaging.
Oh, this is a limiting beliefthat they have.
And I started to see in myclients that I was consulting
(14:01):
with patterns.
And I could see it because Ihad done the work on myself.
So I can now clearly identifymy own, you know, patterns, and
then I can start to identify thepatterns of like clients.
But at the time I wasn't acoach, so I didn't feel like it
was it was my, they hired me toconsult, they hired me to
strategize and get them to reachtheir goals on a strategy
(14:23):
level, not on an emotionallevel, not on a mindset,
behavioral, like not on adeeper, deeper fulfilled level.
So I went to my coach and Isaid, I'm feeling called to
integrate this into what I'mdoing.
So my clients can trulyunderstand like that's a great
goal to have, but why is ittruly aligned with you?
(14:43):
Is it going to is it going tomake you happy, or do you think
it's going to make you happy?
Because if you're not happyright now, hitting that $1
million in revenue, it that'snot all of a sudden you're not
going to wake up one day and behappy.
That's just going to come withanother list of things that
another goal that you want tohit, right?
So I woke up one day feelingcalled to share it and help my
(15:04):
clients.
And to be honest, I've havefallen more in love with the
coaching side of what I do overthe consulting side because I am
making such a difference in theway that people are building
and creating their lives.
Cassandra (15:20):
Now, Constance, you indicated earlier that you had
to like come home to self.
And what that meant to me wasyou had to sit and be quiet and
try to figure out.
And it's kind of like aself-discovery.
And when did you make thatdecision that you needed a coach
(15:41):
to support you in thisendeavor?
Constance (15:45):
I love, I love how you mentioned, you know, being
the quiet, the because there'sso much power in the pause, just
taking a moment to sit insolitude and really be with
yourself and and listeninternally.
I realized that I needed acoach when the same patterns or
(16:06):
the same things kept coming,coming up in my life.
It was like this boomerangeffect.
I was like, ah, you know, God,God, the universe, what you
know, whatever the higher poweris that you believe in, kept
throwing the same thing at me.
And I thought, dang, why isthis coming back into my life?
And it could show up in like ain maybe a different with a
(16:27):
different mask on, but it wasthe same pattern that I was
experiencing.
So I had realized that, okay, Ihave a deeper block, more than
likely on a subconscious levelthat I need to uncover, right?
That I really need to workthrough because we can do, we
have the, you know, theconscious, the subconscious, and
(16:49):
the unconscious mind, right?
So we can do all the mindsetwork that we want on the on the
conscious mind.
We can tell ourselvesaffirmations all day long.
But if we have deeper blocks inour subconscious that are, it's
like the deeper desire.
So one, the conscious mind issaying, I want to hit these
goals.
And then the subconscious mindis saying, No, I'm afraid I'm
(17:10):
afraid of being seen or I'm I'mafraid of success.
And they're going up againsteach other, you're never going
to get to the next level thatyou're trying to achieve.
You're going to, you know,self-sabotage and be held back.
So when I realized I was inthis, like on a hamster wheel, I
was on this looping pattern.
I thought, okay, I needguidance and someone to help me
(17:34):
find what it is that is that istruly holding me back.
Cassandra (17:39):
Right.
Good.
That's good.
Yeah, because um, in otherwords, you got stuck.
And I I wanted you to bringthat out because although there
are individuals that arelistening that are in their way
based on those self-imposedbarriers, doubting yourself.
(18:00):
Um, I don't know if I can dothis, or um, procrastination,
uh, like you said,self-sabotage, imposter
syndrome, that's okay, becausewe all go through that.
But what's what and and likewhat this podcast is really
(18:20):
about is empowerment, giving youpermission to say, that's okay,
but now I need to take someaction, and but you cannot do it
by yourself, you know, and Ialways say that, but yet, you
know, and that's why I wantedyou to say, well, who helped you
with this?
So you said I needed a coach,and how somehow you found a
(18:41):
coach that works best for you.
So, what I'm saying for mylisteners is find some a mentor,
a coach, or something to helpyou get through because when
it's time for all of us totransition out of here, we do
not want to have regrets.
My I meant to tell you,Constance.
(19:02):
My listeners know Max.
Max is not Conquer Spaniel, andand he's not even in the room,
but he wants to be in the room.
So now he's trying to disruptthis podcast, and that is not
gonna happen.
So I'm gonna move on.
I'm gonna I'm gonna move on.
I'm gonna move on.
The clients that you had, haveyou seen any commonalities, any
(19:26):
common themes that they'redealing with that are keeping
them stuck?
And if so, what were some whatare some of those things?
Constance (19:34):
Yeah, so one big one is people pleasing, which is a
you know form ofself-abandonment.
Okay.
So, and and which then leadwhich really stems from low
self-worth.
So working through that one isum, you know, a lot of times
(19:55):
people think, well, I'm uhpeople pleasing isn't bad.
I'm I'm I'm a giver.
I just I want to give, give,give.
But if you're not, you know,setting boundaries and and
really sticking or recognizingyour self-worth and letting
people, you know, kind of takeadvantage of you, that's not
good.
That's not good for yourself,right?
(20:15):
That that is self-abandonment.
That is so working through thatthat low self-worth um is a is
a really big one.
Um, another one is so I I guessthe all the patterns, a lot of
the patterns are stemmed aroundlow self-worth.
So another one that I see withclients is um really not
(20:35):
wanting, especially with women,not wanting to use a voice and
like be assertive.
Like they don't want to belike, oh, that bossy, like, you
know, it just and like so theythey play small, they're like,
okay, like okay, okay, or maybe,maybe I'm not, I don't know
what I'm talking about.
And then they start toself-doubt themselves, and then
(20:56):
they self-self-sabotage.
And so really just takingownership and saying, no, I, you
know, I know, I understand, Iknow what I'm talking about, and
stepping through that fear, andso and taking that aligned
action.
So I when I work with clients,I work with them on three
levels.
So one, there's there's theawareness stage, which is what
(21:18):
what are your goals?
What is your vision?
What's all that?
And then um, and then whatcould be holding you back?
What is that limiting belief orthat blocker that you see
yourself, you know,self-sabotaging um that's
keeping you stuck?
And then there's the acceptancestage.
And I loved what you said aboutaccepting our limiting beliefs
(21:39):
because we all have them.
That is the human in us.
So it is normal, like in itsconstant work.
Every, I mean, I meditated forabout an hour this morning
because I was working throughsomething, right?
So it's not just one and done,like I'm gonna have a meeting
and then oh, all my all mylimiting beliefs are gone.
No, it is an everyday thingthat you commit to bettering
(22:00):
yourself.
So that's the acceptance ofrecognizing that the limiting
belief, what's keeping youstuck, that's a part of you.
That is not all of you, right?
So just having acceptance forit, having compassion for it.
And then once you realize thatthat limiting belief, that
self-doubt is actually here.
And if you can believe this,it's it is actually here to
(22:22):
serve you.
And once you can recognizethat, then you step through that
um limiting belief, a stepthrough that fear, and then you
can take the aligned action toget you one step, you know,
closer to reaching that goal.
So that's how I work with myhow I work with um the clients
that I work with.
Cassandra (22:40):
Okay.
And you also have some coursesthat help.
So that was that's uh uh acomponent of your methodology
that you use for your clients toovercome, or like you
indicated, you won't alwaysovercome.
I I was listening to a lady theother day um speaking, and she
said she was a recoveringperfectionist.
(23:02):
And I'm like, really?
So she recovered from that.
How did that happen?
You know, so you know, whenpeople say that, you it's it's
like um it's still work as youindicated.
You know, what do you do tosustain it?
And so you have a course thattalks about um part of like you
talk about um purpose andauthenticity.
(23:22):
You do a joy journal andvisualization.
Constance (23:27):
Yes, and I those are your courses.
I have, yeah, I have abouteight courses now.
So my I would say my core oneis understanding your, I call
them authentic roots, which isjust another word for core
values.
So understanding how to figureout your core values and to
align your life living withpurpose.
So that that's one of thecourses um that I have.
(23:50):
Another one is joy journal.
So again, realizing thatthere's joy every day there
there's joy.
And so we're so focusedsometimes on chasing, you know,
what we want that we forget toslow down and be present and
realize all that we have.
Um, there's a vision.
I love, love, love vision andand manifestation work about
(24:13):
really embodying on a deeperlevel what you, you know, the
the aligned life that you'rebuilding.
And a course that I'm workingon right now, and some to be on,
this is how I come up with mycourses.
It's usually something that Iam working through.
So my the my walks that I doevery morning, I call them an
abundance walk.
(24:33):
And I got that from anotherpodcast that I was listening to.
And on my abundance walks, Ijust noticed the beauty of
nature, all of the abundance ofnature, and I just get into this
like magnetic flow.
So I come back from my walksand I'm like, wow, today is
going to be a magnetic, powerfulday.
And I noticed though, as theday went on, sometimes that lack
(24:55):
scarcity mindset can creep in.
So it might look like, oh mygoodness, I I, you know, I might
be working on building out acourse, but I am like, oh my
gosh, I have to check my email,right?
This this lack of time, this Ijust can't focus and be present
on what I'm working on.
So, and we see that with youknow, lack scarcity mindset,
(25:15):
maybe with money or whatever itmay be.
And so I realize that abundanceis powerful and it's it's all
around us.
So I'm creating a 30-dayabundance challenge and every
day picking a new thing that wefocus on, and just like so the
beauty, just noticing the beautyof abundance all around you.
(25:36):
It could look be in, you know,a person that you walk by, it
could be in a flower that yousee, whatever that is for you,
you know, but just reallygetting into the mindset and
abundance mindset and lettingthat the the flow um, you know,
real not just be in the in themoment of the walk, but in the
moment of the throughout theentire day.
Cassandra (25:57):
Right.
So in other words, that's the30-day challenge is when you
talk to clients, even some of mylisteners may say, okay, every
day I'm gonna think of abundanceand I'm gonna think about what
in that particular day createdthat.
Because when you do that, yourenergy just it's amazing that
(26:20):
energy, how how relevant energyis.
And there'll be days you maynot feel like it, but yet this
is a challenge, and a challengeis an opportunity.
So I I challenge my listenersto to do that.
I think that I think that isgreat.
Now, what what there's anotherthing, you know, when I ask my
(26:40):
clients about what are theirvalues, core values, some of
them get confused, they're notquite sure.
How what do you do to get themto um share or realize or
recognize what their values are,core values?
Constance (27:00):
Core values.
I find it the most powerfulwhen they when they drop into
their body and feel thesensations that arise.
So getting out of the mind,which loves to you know take
over and say, Oh, I know best.
And I I believe that our bodiesare actually a lot more
powerful um than our mind, thatintuition.
(27:20):
So getting quiet, and I soagain making that list, getting
quiet with what what you know,what is it about that that
fulfills you on a soul level andhaving them sit with that and
think of words, and then they'llsay a word such as, like, you
know, for me it's connection.
And when I think of connection,like I get lit up inside.
(27:44):
I'm like, oh my goodness, likeI like authentic, genuine
connections is my thing.
Like, I want to, I want to havea conversation with you, and I
want to go deep.
And I don't, I I hard, it'shard for me to do surface level
um interactions, but so but butI feel that in my body, like I'm
like, or ultimate freedom.
So that is like my number one.
Like what drives me, what keepsme like going every single day,
(28:08):
it's ultimate freedom.
So freedom being like that corevalue, it just should light you
up inside.
And so just continue to gothrough.
I mean, I have probably ahundred words that clients can
go through, but it's the it'swhen they drop into the embody
and they feel the sensation ofit, and they're like, Oh, yes,
that's it.
I feel it.
That's that's what lights me upinside.
(28:29):
And then and to be honest, somecore values can mean kind of
the same thing, you know, butsome people, it's it's how you
interpret it and how you how youfeel it inside, right?
Cassandra (28:41):
And then with that, it's like, well, why?
As you indicated, why, why isdoes that light me up?
Or yeah, put a why between whenwhen they are um writing down,
excuse me, what fulfills themand to talk about maybe maybe
the why.
Constance (28:58):
Yeah, the why, the why is a powerful.
I'll add I'll just say why, whycan over and over and over
again until they're like, oh,safety, you know, and they come,
they come to that one word,security.
They come to that one word thatthey're like, I'm like, that's
your that's the core value,that's what internally, you
(29:18):
know, you want to feel that thatlights up your soul.
Cassandra (29:21):
Yes, yes.
Because I have a friend with abrother, and and every time I
say something, he would say,Why?
And I was like, What are youtalking about?
Leave me alone.
Like, how are you doing today?
I said, I'm doing great.
He said, Why?
I'm like, What?
And well, what do you what doyou have a taste for?
I'm like, this, that, why?
I'm like, man, leave me alone.
(29:44):
But I'd be I think about like,why, why does that excite me?
Why is that?
So next time he asks me thatI'm gonna really dive into this
why rather than saying, you'rereally getting on my last nerves
with this.
Constance (29:57):
It's really why is is a very, very powerful question.
And just sit with that and keepasking yourself, why, why, why?
And you'll be like, Oh wow,that's it's incredible what what
you come to.
Cassandra (30:11):
Yeah, let me um I want you to share maybe one or
two clients oh one, once youfinished working with them, and
some of you may all, it's anongoing thing, I don't know.
What are some of the outcomesof an individual that you have
worked with?
Constance (30:31):
I think that one of the biggest ones is learning,
she really learned to loveherself.
When we started workingtogether, just she didn't have,
you know, the self love wasn'tthere.
And she had.
You know, gone through somethings um in childhood,
unfortunately, that that werelived very deep, very deep in
(30:55):
her subconscious.
Speaker (30:57):
Right.
Constance (30:57):
And so to help her rediscover herself and her
self-love and step into that wasit was extremely powerful.
Cassandra (31:06):
Yeah.
And that made you feel good.
Constance (31:09):
Yes.
I I remember, yeah, you know, Iremember sitting on a call and
she she was reading her journal.
I had her, I always give myclients like call it homework,
but it's just, you know, thingsto to to do in between our our
weekly sessions.
But I said, you know, I wantyou to journal, you know, this
(31:29):
this week.
And and she was reading it tome during our session, and I was
just like, I was just holdingback.
I was like, I just want to cry.
And I was just like, oh my God,this is so touching.
I was like, and just to seeher, like the transformation
that she had gone through, I waslike, oh, this is why I'm doing
(31:50):
this.
Like this is so I'm like, Iit's so fulfilling to see people
reach their next level and anddo the inner work.
And it's it's hard, you know,it's much easier to to ignore it
and and say you don't want todo it, right?
And so it was um, oh mygoodness, it is it's touching
(32:11):
and it it's fulfilling,definitely.
Cassandra (32:14):
Yeah, it's like I keep like the title is finding
fulfillment through our purpose,you know.
And when we're doing what weordained to do, I say, is how
you feel so alive, you know.
It's like when you wake up inthe morning, like, okay, I have
to do this, you know, really,really excited about it.
(32:35):
And I'll say this again it'snot every day that you wake up
like, yeah, because if you didthat, I'm like, something's
wrong with that person.
But um, it is you do feelfulfilled or fulfilled through
your purpose.
Now, um you talked aboutsuccess sometimes feels empty.
(32:59):
Why is that?
Constance (33:03):
Yeah, if you're change chasing success again for
external validation, right?
So in this had hit me when Ihad really understood this, I
was listening to a podcast, thiswas uh years ago, um, to he was
a billionaire, and uh I won'tsay his name, pretty well known,
but he um talking about hisachievements, and he woke up one
(33:27):
day and he was like, I mean, hehe's like the definition of
success, right?
And he was like, I am like nothappy, I'm not fulfilled.
I this is I'm miserable.
And he he left everything, heleft his his company that he'd
built and all of these things,and it's because it for high
(33:48):
achievers, they have we havebeen programmed at a young age,
um, and and it's no one's fault.
The parents or caregivers, it'sit's everyone's just doing
their best, right?
But through school, we're we'rewe're programmed that okay.
If you if you win this, if youget straight A's, if you win the
spelling B, it's you're worthy,yay, we're celebrating you,
(34:10):
right?
It's all of these achievementsthat we're brought up to believe
define our worth.
So high achievers, as theycontinue to grow throughout you
know their life, yeah, theyattach their all of their
achievements with their worth.
With but if you take all thataway, they're like you take all
their success away, they're theyhave very, very, very low
(34:32):
self-worth.
Cassandra (34:33):
Yes.
Constance (34:34):
So success driven from ego and extra external
validation is unfulfilling.
But if you have, but there'salso good ego, right?
And if you are driven by again,what fulfills your soul, take
away all of the achievements andall of the external validation.
Are you fulfilled?
Are you happy?
(34:54):
If if nobody knew what I did,I'm still fulfilled.
Like every day when I get offmy off my calls, I'm extremely,
extremely fulfilled with thework that I'm doing, right?
I don't need an award, I don'tneed a coach award or anything
like that.
I'm feeling, I'm just likehappy with with how that I'm
serving.
So, and to me, that's that'ssuccess, right?
(35:17):
To feel to feel thatfulfillment.
Yeah, it's not the it's not thenumber that's that's in my bank
account.
It is the at the end of theday, was I able to show up and
serve my clients at my at thehighest level.
And if I can say yes, then Ihad a successful day.
Cassandra (35:36):
Exactly, exactly.
Because it kind of goes back towhen people meet each other,
they say, So what do you do?
They're like, Okay, you know,so it's you feel like I had to
do something grandiose for themto like accept me or like, oh,
make me feel important orwhatever, you know.
And I I was I was listening touh somebody else, and you know,
(35:59):
we you're talking aboutconnections and how important it
is.
And he he said, Well, why nexttime you see somebody or meet
somebody you don't really know?
Ask them, what is it about whatyou do you like?
And I said, hmm, I like that,you know, kind of open them up
and you know, so that kind ofcan kind of help them figure out
(36:20):
their values as well inunderstanding and recognizing
what it is that they like.
Um yeah, I thought that was agood one.
That was a good one.
Um, and you also talked abouthow values can give
(36:42):
understanding and knowing whatyour values influence your
clarity and direction in life aswell.
And I thought that was really,really good.
Uh, so Constance, I would likefor you um to share with my
listeners that are stuck, thatare in their way, give them some
(37:02):
tips or advice or encouragementor whatever you're feeling that
you would like to leave themwith today.
Constance (37:13):
Yeah, absolutely.
Great.
This is a great question.
So the first thing I would sayis ask yourself a goal or a
vision that is at least 85%achievable for you in your
personal professional life inthe next, I would say six to 12
months, right?
And journal and journal thatout, what that goal might be and
(37:35):
what the vision of that lookslike and really embody it.
And then journal, where are younow?
And look at that gap and thenjournal what is holding me back?
Why is it, why am I not therenow?
What do I need to overcome?
(37:56):
What limiting beliefs am Iself-sabotaging?
Am I seeing certain patternsthat are, you know, continue to
show up?
Like, am I people pleasing?
Like, what does that look like?
And then, and this is theprobably the most one of the
most important questions youcould ask yourself is if I hold
on to this limiting belief orthis block, how does it serve
(38:20):
me?
What do I gain from thisstaying this staying stuck,
right?
Because that again is the partthat a lot of us miss.
That that thing that's keepingus stuck is actually trying to
serve us.
It's trying to be our ourfriend.
And it's like our annoying bestfriend, right?
That we want to go away, but wejust have to accept it.
(38:42):
We have to see we have theawareness around it.
Now we have to accept it.
So once you understand how it'strying to serve you, and that
can be hard.
So that's my where maybe youhave to bring in a coach or
mentor or someone to help youwork through that and and see
what it what that is and howit's serving you.
Then once you can see that,then write down one action step
(39:04):
that you can take in the nextweek that will help you get
closer to this six-month goal.
Cassandra (39:08):
Yeah, that's good.
Actions and action steps arecritical.
You can think I'm gonna dothis, this, but take an action.
So that was some great advice.
Constance (39:18):
Yes, thank you.
Cassandra (39:20):
I appreciate that.
Uh, how can my listeners get intouch with you?
Constance (39:24):
Yeah, so the best way to get in touch with me is one,
you can follow me on myInstagram, which is Constance
Curtis, or you can um email metoo.
It's Constance atLegacyPeace.com.
Cassandra (39:37):
Okay, okay.
All right.
Well, Constance, we'll have towrap this up.
I want to thank you so much foryour wisdom, uh, the knowledge
that you gained through yourlife experiences.
And I know that there issomething I wrote down notes
myself that my listeners can goback on.
(39:57):
It can even re-listen to this.
And I also ask them to sharethis with others if you feel
that this is this is perfect forthem, you know, finding
fulfillment through purpose andjust with the information you
provided everyone with.
I think kudos, kudos.
And like I always say to mylisteners, and um, and I this is
(40:22):
what I say to my listener,always say bye for now because I
will be back.
You know, and uh Constanceagain, thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, and God bless mylisteners as well as well.
Thanks again.
Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like
to welcome you to Is Your Way inYour Way.
And I'm your host.
My name is Cassandra CrawleyMayo.
And for my new listeners outthere, the name of my book is
titled Is Your Way in Your Way.
And I tell you, uh, sotherefore, and actually the book
(00:47):
is for women, just like mypodcasts are for women, although
I know men listen, and that'sI'm okay with that.
But what I'd like for you toknow, I like to know, first of
all, especially these newlisteners out there, are you
ready to stop getting in yourown way and start living the
life that you were truly meantfor?
(01:08):
Well, again, I'm Cassandra.
I am a best-selling author, Iam a mentor, a speaker, and your
guide to all thingstransformative.
Now, each week we dive deepwith powerful guests and
practical tools to help youovercome these self-imposed
(01:28):
barriers and design your bestlife on purpose, with faith, and
without apology.
And today you're in for asoul-shifting conversation with
transformational coach ConstanceCurtis.
So let's get started.
Let me introduce you toConstance.
Hi, Constance.
Constance (01:49):
Hello, Cassandra.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
Cassandra (01:52):
I am glad you are here, girl.
Now, you listen, before we getstarted, I just want to read
your bio because my listenersalways want to know what
qualifies her to talk about whatshe's going to talk about.
And our topic today is findingfulfillment through purpose.
And let me get started on thisbio so we can have a deep dive
(02:16):
into this conversation.
As I mentioned, listeners,she's a transformational coach,
entrepreneur, and reinventionstrategist who helps people
break free from what's holdingthem back and align with who
they were truly created to be.
She has 20 plus years ofexperience and her own journey
through purpose-fueled pivots.
(02:39):
She now guides creative leadersand entrepreneurs to release
self-doubt, reconnect with theirvalues, and create lives rooted
in clarity and courage.
Her no-fluff, heart-centeredapproach speaks to anyone ready
to stop settling and startliving fully.
(03:03):
But was there anything that youreally wanted to do when you
(03:29):
were growing up?
Constance (03:31):
You know what?
There wasn't anything inparticular, but I did grow up
with two parents that wereentrepreneurs.
So at a very young age, I wasexposed to my mother owned a
preschool and a preschool that Iwent to that she actually still
owns.
So she's owned this.
Yeah.
So she's owned this preschoolfor over 35 years now, which has
(03:56):
been absolutely incredible.
And then my father has a citrusfarm.
So he grew up.
So I grew up watching mygrandfather and my father build
that company.
So I was blessed in that I wasexposed to entrepreneurship and
understood that that could be,you know, a path, a way forward
(04:17):
for me.
However, after college, Iactually went into the corporate
world.
So I didn't at first take thatroute, although I quickly found
it a few years later.
Cassandra (04:31):
Okay.
Okay.
Um, so let me ask you beforeyou became this transformational
coach, it's interesting thatboth of your parents were
entrepreneurs, and I alwayssaid, bring up a child the way
they should go, and they willnot depart from it.
So I'm not sure whether theybrought you up to be an
entrepreneur, but a lot of timeswe do what we don't so much do
(04:52):
what they say, we we look atwhat they do.
So as you observe thatthroughout growing up and
everything, like, wow, this ispretty cool.
So that was kind of like partof your DNA, the entrepreneur
piece.
So before you became thiscoach, this transformational
coach, what was life like beforethen?
(05:13):
What was going on with you?
Constance (05:16):
I was building a life, I would say, from
programming, right?
So as we grow up throughchildhood, all the things that
we think we have to do and thatwe should do.
And I was chasing achievementsfor external validation.
So, and not that nothing thattruly fulfills my soul, fulfills
(05:38):
the the ego, the bad ego partof me, but it wasn't fulfilling
what would make me happy on asoul level, on a heart, like you
know, from from my heart.
So I had to get get reallyquiet um after you know, I I had
realized that, and that's whatled me to where I'm at now.
How long did it take you tofigure that out?
(06:00):
Oh my goodness.
Cassandra (06:01):
You weren't happy and you know you needed to do
something and and all of that.
How long did that take?
Constance (06:07):
You know, I didn't realize right away that I wasn't
happy.
In fact, I just kept thinkingthat, well, the next mountain I
climb, that's that's when I'mgonna feel the fulfillment.
That's when I'm gonna gethappy.
And then I would get to thatmountain, and then there would
be another mountain to climb,right?
So there was always somethingthat I was working on that I
(06:30):
knew, well, once I just getthere, then I'm going to feel
internally that that sensationthat I've been longing for until
I until it never came, right?
And so what I did is I Istripped away, stripped away all
of the achievements that I had,you know, ever ever achieved in
(06:52):
life, including, you know,raising money from from
investors and launching atechnology company and all of
these things, and thought if allof that went away, if nobody
knew what I did, am I trulyliving a life that fulfills me?
And the qu the the answer wasno.
And so the question is that isbecomes how do you build a life
(07:18):
of purpose?
And majority of us think it iswhat we're here to do, but it's
not.
It's actually rediscovering whoyou are, it's rediscovering
what fulfills you, it'srediscovering your true purpose
here on this earth, and and youknow, how what makes you shine
inside?
And once you can start toidentify those, that is where
(07:39):
you can begin to shift and feelthat fulfillment and happiness
inside.
Cassandra (07:43):
Yeah.
Now, how do you figure out, youknow, uh, as I indicated, like
the the name of the podcast isIs Your Way in Your Way?
Um, what took you?
Well, uh no, let me no, let meask you this.
How did you figure out?
Because, you know, it's you'reright.
(08:04):
You do one thing, you know,you're like, okay, when we get
out of school, okay, we'resupposed to get married, have a
white picket fence, have kids,blah, blah, blah.
That's the old way.
I mean, that's how you wouldthink.
Some of us were brought up thatway.
(08:40):
And then after that, there areindividuals that start like,
well, what am I?
Why am I here?
What's my purpose?
And you indicated you wereunsettled, you weren't not, you
weren't not happy, but as timeand life moved on, you realized
that it was something else.
How did you figure that out?
How would my listeners figurethat out?
(09:01):
What else is there?
Constance (09:03):
Yeah, so the first thing that I encourage all of
you know my clients to do thatI'm working with is rediscover
what are the things that lightyou up?
Make a list, make those listsof the things that they it can
be anything from traveling,visiting with family and
friends, um, you know, buildinga company, but then ask yourself
over and over and over againwhy?
(09:24):
Why?
What is it?
What is the deeper, deeperdesire behind that that fulfills
my soul?
So for instance, I'll takespending time with family and
friends for me is is one of thethings that I love to do, and I
make a lot of time for it.
And part of that's like, well,why?
And it's the deeper, the deeperdesire there is connection.
(09:48):
So we all have these corevalues, and I like to use them
as an internal compass to guideus and create a life that is
fulfilled.
So my four words, and you canhave like three to five words,
but these words should be usedin in every in the decisions
that you make, both personallyand professionally.
(10:10):
And as long as you can tie yourvision and your goals to one of
your core values that fulfillsyour soul, then you're going to
build a life and alignment,right?
So I knew my core values wereconnection, freedom,
experiences, and nourishment.
So when I got quiet with myselfand I asked, okay, is the
(10:35):
company I'm build building, doesit does it, how does it nourish
me?
Am I connected to my clients?
Am I connected to what I'mbuilding?
If it's not tied to those corevalues, then it's not in
alignment with who you trulyare.
So that is the the first thingthat you need to do is
understand what it is that youlove to do, what fulfills your
(10:58):
soul, what lights you up inside,and then get down to the deeper
desire of why.
And it should be one word.
What is the reason?
Like, for instance, it could beyou love to travel, and it's
because it nourishes your soul,right?
So that word, your core valueis nourishment, and that helps
you to understand, okay, thethis is my internal compass to
(11:19):
help me guide, help to helpguide me through life to to live
a life of fulfillment.
Cassandra (11:24):
Okay, so those three things like connection, freedom,
and nourishment.
Um you had you you had all ofthose things within what you
wanted to do.
So, how did you select thetransformational coach?
Where did those those thosevalues that you have?
How did the transformationalcoach come in?
Constance (11:47):
Yeah, so it really came from from just myself and
the transformation that I wentthrough, right?
So building what I was buildingbefore I did the internal work
on myself, I was building a lifethat wasn't aligned with me.
I was building a life thatlooked good on paper or that
everyone else told me I shouldbuild, right?
(12:09):
And so when I got quiet withmyself and I understood my core
values, then that's where when Istarted saying, okay, these are
the personal decisions andprofessional decisions that I'm
going to begin to make.
And that's when I realized,like, even if I don't when I hit
this goal, I'm not going to behappy.
I'm already happy.
So when I hit the goal, that'samazing.
I'm excited and I can't wait tohit that goal.
(12:31):
But I'm already happy andfulfilled inside it as I'm
building towards that goal.
So as I started transformingand building my life and just
woke up one day and was justlike, oh my gosh, like everyone
needs to feel this, right?
Like I want everyone to wake upand just be like ready to like
take on the day because theyjust are feeling like even the
(12:54):
thing, even like my going for awalk, like my connecting with
nature every single morning, itis a non-negotiable for me.
I do it every single morningfrom seven to eight.
That is my time to connect withnature and take a walk in the,
you know, in the park orwherever it may be.
And so really designing my lifearound the things that fulfill
me.
I thought, oh my goodness, ifmore people did this and stopped
(13:18):
chasing achievements and goalsand visions because of the
shoulds and the have-to's, andreally chased their achievements
and goals based on what trulyfulfilled them.
Wow, what a you knowtransformation we would have as
a society, right?
Like a collective ship of allof us just like truly living our
(13:39):
purpose.
And so it, I talked, woke upone day and I said to my coach,
you know, I was consulting atthe time with entrepreneurs and
I was giving strategy and I wasnoticing, oh, they're
self-sabotaging.
Oh, this is a limiting beliefthat they have.
And I started to see in myclients that I was consulting
(14:01):
with patterns.
And I could see it because Ihad done the work on myself.
So I can now clearly identifymy own, you know, patterns, and
then I can start to identify thepatterns of like clients.
But at the time I wasn't acoach, so I didn't feel like it
was it was my, they hired me toconsult, they hired me to
strategize and get them to reachtheir goals on a strategy
(14:23):
level, not on an emotionallevel, not on a mindset,
behavioral, like not on adeeper, deeper fulfilled level.
So I went to my coach and Isaid, I'm feeling called to
integrate this into what I'mdoing.
So my clients can trulyunderstand like that's a great
goal to have, but why is ittruly aligned with you?
(14:43):
Is it going to is it going tomake you happy, or do you think
it's going to make you happy?
Because if you're not happyright now, hitting that $1
million in revenue, it that'snot all of a sudden you're not
going to wake up one day and behappy.
That's just going to come withanother list of things that
another goal that you want tohit, right?
So I woke up one day feelingcalled to share it and help my
(15:04):
clients.
And to be honest, I've havefallen more in love with the
coaching side of what I do overthe consulting side because I am
making such a difference in theway that people are building
and creating their lives.
Cassandra (15:20):
Now, Constance, you indicated earlier that you had
to like come home to self.
And what that meant to me wasyou had to sit and be quiet and
try to figure out.
And it's kind of like aself-discovery.
And when did you make thatdecision that you needed a coach
(15:41):
to support you in thisendeavor?
Constance (15:45):
I love, I love how you mentioned, you know, being
the quiet, the because there'sso much power in the pause, just
taking a moment to sit insolitude and really be with
yourself and and listeninternally.
I realized that I needed acoach when the same patterns or
(16:06):
the same things kept coming,coming up in my life.
It was like this boomerangeffect.
I was like, ah, you know, God,God, the universe, what you
know, whatever the higher poweris that you believe in, kept
throwing the same thing at me.
And I thought, dang, why isthis coming back into my life?
And it could show up in like ain maybe a different with a
(16:27):
different mask on, but it wasthe same pattern that I was
experiencing.
So I had realized that, okay, Ihave a deeper block, more than
likely on a subconscious levelthat I need to uncover, right?
That I really need to workthrough because we can do, we
have the, you know, theconscious, the subconscious, and
(16:49):
the unconscious mind, right?
So we can do all the mindsetwork that we want on the on the
conscious mind.
We can tell ourselvesaffirmations all day long.
But if we have deeper blocks inour subconscious that are, it's
like the deeper desire.
So one, the conscious mind issaying, I want to hit these
goals.
And then the subconscious mindis saying, No, I'm afraid I'm
(17:10):
afraid of being seen or I'm I'mafraid of success.
And they're going up againsteach other, you're never going
to get to the next level thatyou're trying to achieve.
You're going to, you know,self-sabotage and be held back.
So when I realized I was inthis, like on a hamster wheel, I
was on this looping pattern.
I thought, okay, I needguidance and someone to help me
(17:34):
find what it is that is that istruly holding me back.
Cassandra (17:39):
Right.
Good.
That's good.
Yeah, because um, in otherwords, you got stuck.
And I I wanted you to bringthat out because although there
are individuals that arelistening that are in their way
based on those self-imposedbarriers, doubting yourself.
(18:00):
Um, I don't know if I can dothis, or um, procrastination,
uh, like you said,self-sabotage, imposter
syndrome, that's okay, becausewe all go through that.
But what's what and and likewhat this podcast is really
(18:20):
about is empowerment, giving youpermission to say, that's okay,
but now I need to take someaction, and but you cannot do it
by yourself, you know, and Ialways say that, but yet, you
know, and that's why I wantedyou to say, well, who helped you
with this?
So you said I needed a coach,and how somehow you found a
(18:41):
coach that works best for you.
So, what I'm saying for mylisteners is find some a mentor,
a coach, or something to helpyou get through because when
it's time for all of us totransition out of here, we do
not want to have regrets.
My I meant to tell you,Constance.
(19:02):
My listeners know Max.
Max is not Conquer Spaniel, andand he's not even in the room,
but he wants to be in the room.
So now he's trying to disruptthis podcast, and that is not
gonna happen.
So I'm gonna move on.
I'm gonna I'm gonna move on.
I'm gonna move on.
The clients that you had, haveyou seen any commonalities, any
(19:26):
common themes that they'redealing with that are keeping
them stuck?
And if so, what were some whatare some of those things?
Constance (19:34):
Yeah, so one big one is people pleasing, which is a
you know form ofself-abandonment.
Okay.
So, and and which then leadwhich really stems from low
self-worth.
So working through that one isum, you know, a lot of times
(19:55):
people think, well, I'm uhpeople pleasing isn't bad.
I'm I'm I'm a giver.
I just I want to give, give,give.
But if you're not, you know,setting boundaries and and
really sticking or recognizingyour self-worth and letting
people, you know, kind of takeadvantage of you, that's not
good.
That's not good for yourself,right?
(20:15):
That that is self-abandonment.
That is so working through thatthat low self-worth um is a is
a really big one.
Um, another one is so I I guessthe all the patterns, a lot of
the patterns are stemmed aroundlow self-worth.
So another one that I see withclients is um really not
(20:35):
wanting, especially with women,not wanting to use a voice and
like be assertive.
Like they don't want to belike, oh, that bossy, like, you
know, it just and like so theythey play small, they're like,
okay, like okay, okay, or maybe,maybe I'm not, I don't know
what I'm talking about.
And then they start toself-doubt themselves, and then
(20:56):
they self-self-sabotage.
And so really just takingownership and saying, no, I, you
know, I know, I understand, Iknow what I'm talking about, and
stepping through that fear, andso and taking that aligned
action.
So I when I work with clients,I work with them on three
levels.
So one, there's there's theawareness stage, which is what
(21:18):
what are your goals?
What is your vision?
What's all that?
And then um, and then whatcould be holding you back?
What is that limiting belief orthat blocker that you see
yourself, you know,self-sabotaging um that's
keeping you stuck?
And then there's the acceptancestage.
And I loved what you said aboutaccepting our limiting beliefs
(21:39):
because we all have them.
That is the human in us.
So it is normal, like in itsconstant work.
Every, I mean, I meditated forabout an hour this morning
because I was working throughsomething, right?
So it's not just one and done,like I'm gonna have a meeting
and then oh, all my all mylimiting beliefs are gone.
No, it is an everyday thingthat you commit to bettering
(22:00):
yourself.
So that's the acceptance ofrecognizing that the limiting
belief, what's keeping youstuck, that's a part of you.
That is not all of you, right?
So just having acceptance forit, having compassion for it.
And then once you realize thatthat limiting belief, that
self-doubt is actually here.
And if you can believe this,it's it is actually here to
(22:22):
serve you.
And once you can recognizethat, then you step through that
um limiting belief, a stepthrough that fear, and then you
can take the aligned action toget you one step, you know,
closer to reaching that goal.
So that's how I work with myhow I work with um the clients
that I work with.
Cassandra (22:40):
Okay.
And you also have some coursesthat help.
So that was that's uh uh acomponent of your methodology
that you use for your clients toovercome, or like you
indicated, you won't alwaysovercome.
I I was listening to a lady theother day um speaking, and she
said she was a recoveringperfectionist.
(23:02):
And I'm like, really?
So she recovered from that.
How did that happen?
You know, so you know, whenpeople say that, you it's it's
like um it's still work as youindicated.
You know, what do you do tosustain it?
And so you have a course thattalks about um part of like you
talk about um purpose andauthenticity.
(23:22):
You do a joy journal andvisualization.
Constance (23:27):
Yes, and I those are your courses.
I have, yeah, I have abouteight courses now.
So my I would say my core oneis understanding your, I call
them authentic roots, which isjust another word for core
values.
So understanding how to figureout your core values and to
align your life living withpurpose.
So that that's one of thecourses um that I have.
(23:50):
Another one is joy journal.
So again, realizing thatthere's joy every day there
there's joy.
And so we're so focusedsometimes on chasing, you know,
what we want that we forget toslow down and be present and
realize all that we have.
Um, there's a vision.
I love, love, love vision andand manifestation work about
(24:13):
really embodying on a deeperlevel what you, you know, the
the aligned life that you'rebuilding.
And a course that I'm workingon right now, and some to be on,
this is how I come up with mycourses.
It's usually something that Iam working through.
So my the my walks that I doevery morning, I call them an
abundance walk.
(24:33):
And I got that from anotherpodcast that I was listening to.
And on my abundance walks, Ijust noticed the beauty of
nature, all of the abundance ofnature, and I just get into this
like magnetic flow.
So I come back from my walksand I'm like, wow, today is
going to be a magnetic, powerfulday.
And I noticed though, as theday went on, sometimes that lack
(24:55):
scarcity mindset can creep in.
So it might look like, oh mygoodness, I I, you know, I might
be working on building out acourse, but I am like, oh my
gosh, I have to check my email,right?
This this lack of time, this Ijust can't focus and be present
on what I'm working on.
So, and we see that with youknow, lack scarcity mindset,
(25:15):
maybe with money or whatever itmay be.
And so I realize that abundanceis powerful and it's it's all
around us.
So I'm creating a 30-dayabundance challenge and every
day picking a new thing that wefocus on, and just like so the
beauty, just noticing the beautyof abundance all around you.
(25:36):
It could look be in, you know,a person that you walk by, it
could be in a flower that yousee, whatever that is for you,
you know, but just reallygetting into the mindset and
abundance mindset and lettingthat the the flow um, you know,
real not just be in the in themoment of the walk, but in the
moment of the throughout theentire day.
Cassandra (25:57):
Right.
So in other words, that's the30-day challenge is when you
talk to clients, even some of mylisteners may say, okay, every
day I'm gonna think of abundanceand I'm gonna think about what
in that particular day createdthat.
Because when you do that, yourenergy just it's amazing that
(26:20):
energy, how how relevant energyis.
And there'll be days you maynot feel like it, but yet this
is a challenge, and a challengeis an opportunity.
So I I challenge my listenersto to do that.
I think that I think that isgreat.
Now, what what there's anotherthing, you know, when I ask my
(26:40):
clients about what are theirvalues, core values, some of
them get confused, they're notquite sure.
How what do you do to get themto um share or realize or
recognize what their values are,core values?
Constance (27:00):
Core values.
I find it the most powerfulwhen they when they drop into
their body and feel thesensations that arise.
So getting out of the mind,which loves to you know take
over and say, Oh, I know best.
And I I believe that our bodiesare actually a lot more
powerful um than our mind, thatintuition.
(27:20):
So getting quiet, and I soagain making that list, getting
quiet with what what you know,what is it about that that
fulfills you on a soul level andhaving them sit with that and
think of words, and then they'llsay a word such as, like, you
know, for me it's connection.
And when I think of connection,like I get lit up inside.
(27:44):
I'm like, oh my goodness, likeI like authentic, genuine
connections is my thing.
Like, I want to, I want to havea conversation with you, and I
want to go deep.
And I don't, I I hard, it'shard for me to do surface level
um interactions, but so but butI feel that in my body, like I'm
like, or ultimate freedom.
So that is like my number one.
Like what drives me, what keepsme like going every single day,
(28:08):
it's ultimate freedom.
So freedom being like that corevalue, it just should light you
up inside.
And so just continue to gothrough.
I mean, I have probably ahundred words that clients can
go through, but it's the it'swhen they drop into the embody
and they feel the sensation ofit, and they're like, Oh, yes,
that's it.
I feel it.
That's that's what lights me upinside.
(28:29):
And then and to be honest, somecore values can mean kind of
the same thing, you know, butsome people, it's it's how you
interpret it and how you how youfeel it inside, right?
Cassandra (28:41):
And then with that, it's like, well, why?
As you indicated, why, why isdoes that light me up?
Or yeah, put a why between whenwhen they are um writing down,
excuse me, what fulfills themand to talk about maybe maybe
the why.
Constance (28:58):
Yeah, the why, the why is a powerful.
I'll add I'll just say why, whycan over and over and over
again until they're like, oh,safety, you know, and they come,
they come to that one word,security.
They come to that one word thatthey're like, I'm like, that's
your that's the core value,that's what internally, you
(29:18):
know, you want to feel that thatlights up your soul.
Cassandra (29:21):
Yes, yes.
Because I have a friend with abrother, and and every time I
say something, he would say,Why?
And I was like, What are youtalking about?
Leave me alone.
Like, how are you doing today?
I said, I'm doing great.
He said, Why?
I'm like, What?
And well, what do you what doyou have a taste for?
I'm like, this, that, why?
I'm like, man, leave me alone.
(29:44):
But I'd be I think about like,why, why does that excite me?
Why is that?
So next time he asks me thatI'm gonna really dive into this
why rather than saying, you'rereally getting on my last nerves
with this.
Constance (29:57):
It's really why is is a very, very powerful question.
And just sit with that and keepasking yourself, why, why, why?
And you'll be like, Oh wow,that's it's incredible what what
you come to.
Cassandra (30:11):
Yeah, let me um I want you to share maybe one or
two clients oh one, once youfinished working with them, and
some of you may all, it's anongoing thing, I don't know.
What are some of the outcomesof an individual that you have
worked with?
Constance (30:31):
I think that one of the biggest ones is learning,
she really learned to loveherself.
When we started workingtogether, just she didn't have,
you know, the self love wasn'tthere.
And she had.
You know, gone through somethings um in childhood,
unfortunately, that that werelived very deep, very deep in
(30:55):
her subconscious.
Speaker (30:57):
Right.
Constance (30:57):
And so to help her rediscover herself and her
self-love and step into that wasit was extremely powerful.
Cassandra (31:06):
Yeah.
And that made you feel good.
Constance (31:09):
Yes.
I I remember, yeah, you know, Iremember sitting on a call and
she she was reading her journal.
I had her, I always give myclients like call it homework,
but it's just, you know, thingsto to to do in between our our
weekly sessions.
But I said, you know, I wantyou to journal, you know, this
(31:29):
this week.
And and she was reading it tome during our session, and I was
just like, I was just holdingback.
I was like, I just want to cry.
And I was just like, oh my God,this is so touching.
I was like, and just to seeher, like the transformation
that she had gone through, I waslike, oh, this is why I'm doing
(31:50):
this.
Like this is so I'm like, Iit's so fulfilling to see people
reach their next level and anddo the inner work.
And it's it's hard, you know,it's much easier to to ignore it
and and say you don't want todo it, right?
And so it was um, oh mygoodness, it is it's touching
(32:11):
and it it's fulfilling,definitely.
Cassandra (32:14):
Yeah, it's like I keep like the title is finding
fulfillment through our purpose,you know.
And when we're doing what weordained to do, I say, is how
you feel so alive, you know.
It's like when you wake up inthe morning, like, okay, I have
to do this, you know, really,really excited about it.
(32:35):
And I'll say this again it'snot every day that you wake up
like, yeah, because if you didthat, I'm like, something's
wrong with that person.
But um, it is you do feelfulfilled or fulfilled through
your purpose.
Now, um you talked aboutsuccess sometimes feels empty.
(32:59):
Why is that?
Constance (33:03):
Yeah, if you're change chasing success again for
external validation, right?
So in this had hit me when Ihad really understood this, I
was listening to a podcast, thiswas uh years ago, um, to he was
a billionaire, and uh I won'tsay his name, pretty well known,
but he um talking about hisachievements, and he woke up one
(33:27):
day and he was like, I mean, hehe's like the definition of
success, right?
And he was like, I am like nothappy, I'm not fulfilled.
I this is I'm miserable.
And he he left everything, heleft his his company that he'd
built and all of these things,and it's because it for high
(33:48):
achievers, they have we havebeen programmed at a young age,
um, and and it's no one's fault.
The parents or caregivers, it'sit's everyone's just doing
their best, right?
But through school, we're we'rewe're programmed that okay.
If you if you win this, if youget straight A's, if you win the
spelling B, it's you're worthy,yay, we're celebrating you,
(34:10):
right?
It's all of these achievementsthat we're brought up to believe
define our worth.
So high achievers, as theycontinue to grow throughout you
know their life, yeah, theyattach their all of their
achievements with their worth.
With but if you take all thataway, they're like you take all
their success away, they're theyhave very, very, very low
(34:32):
self-worth.
Cassandra (34:33):
Yes.
Constance (34:34):
So success driven from ego and extra external
validation is unfulfilling.
But if you have, but there'salso good ego, right?
And if you are driven by again,what fulfills your soul, take
away all of the achievements andall of the external validation.
Are you fulfilled?
Are you happy?
(34:54):
If if nobody knew what I did,I'm still fulfilled.
Like every day when I get offmy off my calls, I'm extremely,
extremely fulfilled with thework that I'm doing, right?
I don't need an award, I don'tneed a coach award or anything
like that.
I'm feeling, I'm just likehappy with with how that I'm
serving.
So, and to me, that's that'ssuccess, right?
(35:17):
To feel to feel thatfulfillment.
Yeah, it's not the it's not thenumber that's that's in my bank
account.
It is the at the end of theday, was I able to show up and
serve my clients at my at thehighest level.
And if I can say yes, then Ihad a successful day.
Cassandra (35:36):
Exactly, exactly.
Because it kind of goes back towhen people meet each other,
they say, So what do you do?
They're like, Okay, you know,so it's you feel like I had to
do something grandiose for themto like accept me or like, oh,
make me feel important orwhatever, you know.
And I I was I was listening touh somebody else, and you know,
(35:59):
we you're talking aboutconnections and how important it
is.
And he he said, Well, why nexttime you see somebody or meet
somebody you don't really know?
Ask them, what is it about whatyou do you like?
And I said, hmm, I like that,you know, kind of open them up
and you know, so that kind ofcan kind of help them figure out
(36:20):
their values as well inunderstanding and recognizing
what it is that they like.
Um yeah, I thought that was agood one.
That was a good one.
Um, and you also talked abouthow values can give
(36:42):
understanding and knowing whatyour values influence your
clarity and direction in life aswell.
And I thought that was really,really good.
Uh, so Constance, I would likefor you um to share with my
listeners that are stuck, thatare in their way, give them some
(37:02):
tips or advice or encouragementor whatever you're feeling that
you would like to leave themwith today.
Constance (37:13):
Yeah, absolutely.
Great.
This is a great question.
So the first thing I would sayis ask yourself a goal or a
vision that is at least 85%achievable for you in your
personal professional life inthe next, I would say six to 12
months, right?
And journal and journal thatout, what that goal might be and
(37:35):
what the vision of that lookslike and really embody it.
And then journal, where are younow?
And look at that gap and thenjournal what is holding me back?
Why is it, why am I not therenow?
What do I need to overcome?
(37:56):
What limiting beliefs am Iself-sabotaging?
Am I seeing certain patternsthat are, you know, continue to
show up?
Like, am I people pleasing?
Like, what does that look like?
And then, and this is theprobably the most one of the
most important questions youcould ask yourself is if I hold
on to this limiting belief orthis block, how does it serve
(38:20):
me?
What do I gain from thisstaying this staying stuck,
right?
Because that again is the partthat a lot of us miss.
That that thing that's keepingus stuck is actually trying to
serve us.
It's trying to be our ourfriend.
And it's like our annoying bestfriend, right?
That we want to go away, but wejust have to accept it.
(38:42):
We have to see we have theawareness around it.
Now we have to accept it.
So once you understand how it'strying to serve you, and that
can be hard.
So that's my where maybe youhave to bring in a coach or
mentor or someone to help youwork through that and and see
what it what that is and howit's serving you.
Then once you can see that,then write down one action step
(39:04):
that you can take in the nextweek that will help you get
closer to this six-month goal.
Cassandra (39:08):
Yeah, that's good.
Actions and action steps arecritical.
You can think I'm gonna dothis, this, but take an action.
So that was some great advice.
Constance (39:18):
Yes, thank you.
Cassandra (39:20):
I appreciate that.
Uh, how can my listeners get intouch with you?
Constance (39:24):
Yeah, so the best way to get in touch with me is one,
you can follow me on myInstagram, which is Constance
Curtis, or you can um email metoo.
It's Constance atLegacyPeace.com.
Cassandra (39:37):
Okay, okay.
All right.
Well, Constance, we'll have towrap this up.
I want to thank you so much foryour wisdom, uh, the knowledge
that you gained through yourlife experiences.
And I know that there issomething I wrote down notes
myself that my listeners can goback on.
(39:57):
It can even re-listen to this.
And I also ask them to sharethis with others if you feel
that this is this is perfect forthem, you know, finding
fulfillment through purpose andjust with the information you
provided everyone with.
I think kudos, kudos.
And like I always say to mylisteners, and um, and I this is
(40:22):
what I say to my listener,always say bye for now because I
will be back.
You know, and uh Constanceagain, thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, and God bless mylisteners as well as well.
Thanks again.
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