June 30, 2026 • 18 mins
Your nervous system doesn’t just fear danger, it fears unfamiliarity. When a new coaching tool or emotional healing practice shows up, it can trigger instant doubt: “This won’t work,” “I’m not buying it,” “Show me the evidence.” We get honest about what’s really happening in those moments and why skepticism can be a healthy stage of healing until it turns into a lifelong hiding place.
We talk through how the primal brain conserves energy by keeping you on the same painful mental path, and how it will happily recruit your intelligence to do it. You can spend months analyzing frameworks, comparing therapy modalities, and debating neuroscience, then never practice the one thing that changes a life: observing your thoughts and regulating your nervous system during real conflict. If you’ve ever felt “educated about healing” but not any healthier, this will land.
Then we go deeper into identity and fear. Healing can threaten the stories that have become familiar: being the strong one, the misunderstood one, the one who suffers patiently. Hope can feel dangerous because disappointment hurts, and simplicity can feel offensive because the ego equates complexity with truth. We also name selective skepticism: grilling coaching with a microscope while accepting anxious thoughts with zero evidence. The closing invitation is simple and piercing: before you reject the next possibility, ask who inside you desperately needs it not to work.
If this resonates, listen all the way through, share it with a friend who lives in overthinking, and subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. After you listen, leave a review and tell us: what would you try if you stopped debating and started practicing?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Gamal Abtar.
SPEAKER_01 (00:16):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today's episode is about nervoussystems fear of unfamiliar
tools.
And the focus is going to be onnovelty, hope, disappointment,
and the brain rejecting whatcould help it because it is
afraid to go towards a realitythat it hasn't lived before.
(00:37):
I do have to admit that when Istarted my coaching services, I
found a lot of women skepticalof the modalities of healing,
and rigidly so because theymight have used different
modalities in the past that didnot help them.
And when these previousmodalities didn't work, it leads
them to enter any world ofhealing with skepticism and
concern.
(00:58):
So in the beginning, as a newcoach, I would treat this as an
obstacle, and I would treat itas a wall that we came across
that we had to break through.
But now I'm a little more wise.
I treat it as a stage.
Skepticism of healing is a stagein your healing.
Skepticism is a healthy responsebecause of the novelty that
(01:20):
healing brings.
So women come to me and theyengage with my work, but they
might not sign up for mycoaching, saying that it doesn't
work, which is perfectly fine,except that they go around
saying that nothing works.
So then they start usingskepticism as an excuse to not
heal rather than a stage ofhealing that it is.
(01:41):
As an example, if you don'tagree with one thing or some
things that I teach, then youuse that to disagree with
everything that I have to say,rejecting all of my ideas
because there's disagreementwith one of my ideas.
This skepticism is born becauseanything unfamiliar creates an
apprehension in your system justbecause of its novelty, even if
(02:04):
that novelty comes with apromise of improvement.
The original apprehensionthoughts sound like this is not
for me, who made her the expert,I don't agree with anything
she's saying, or other thoughtslike this can't be possible,
it's not for me.
Wellness, improvement,stability, joy, all of this is
for other people.
(02:25):
This skepticism is created byyour primal mind in its quest of
conserving energy, becausecoming out of the mental pathway
that keeps creating pain in yourlife over and over again, even
though it keeps you rehearsingyour suffering, it is the less
energy consuming pathway, andyour nupti mind will keep you
(02:46):
there for as long as it can.
So the healing becomes tricky.
The lowest part of your primalbrain will use each and every
excuse to justify keeping you inpain, to justify not spending
any energy towards wellness, andkeep you in skepticism and
constantly looping your thoughtsand keeping you in doubt.
(03:07):
Doubting yourself, doubtingcoaching, doubting health care
or other mental wellnessmodalities, it will keep you
recycling the pain over and overagain, and it will use your
intellect, your knowledge, yourexperience, your degrees to
justify recycling that pain andjustify your position instead of
(03:28):
actually letting you createchange.
So imagine you finally found acoaching framework that could
genuinely change how you think.
So you listen to one podcastepisode and instead of
practicing the tool for a week,your mind immediately starts
researching.
You start researching Redditthreads, you watch YouTube
(03:48):
videos, you compare it to CBT,DBT, ACT, IFS, NLP,
psychodynamic therapy,attachment theory, and
neuroscience.
You spend three months trying todetermine whether this is the
right modality.
And by the end of these threemonths you've become incredibly
educated about healing withoutbecoming any healthier.
(04:11):
And your primal brain absolutelyloves this because researching
feels productive while requiringalmost no emotional change.
You spend enormous mental energyavoiding the one thing that
actually requires energy,practicing a different way of
being.
Your intellect becomes a defensemechanism in this case.
(04:33):
Your knowledge became anotherway to stay exactly where you
are.
You are educated, you are smart,you're hard working, you have
the trainings and you understandphysiology, psychology,
pathology, even pharmacology.
You've educated yourself inevidence based practice.
So every time you hear acoaching concept, your mind
(04:54):
immediately starts analyzing it.
This sounds like confirmationbias.
This overlaps with CBT.
The evidence here isn't strongenough.
The studies here are limited.
Correlation doesn't equalcausation.
And yada yada yada, yourreasoning continues.
And everything you're saying maybe intellectually accurate, but
(05:15):
notice what is never happeninghere.
You never practice observingyour own thoughts that was the
original invite of the podcast.
Your knowledge became the shieldagainst transformation, and you
never really learned to regulateyour nervous system during
conflict, which was youroriginal goal to begin with.
You continue to remain theperson that can't think clearly
(05:38):
when your child misbehaves, andyou're not any more successful
in your business than you werebefore.
The primal brain would muchrather have you critique the
treatment than receive it.
It will rather keep you underthe impression that intellectual
superiority is the healingrather than have you actually
create some change or beemotionally free.
(05:58):
It uses your mind, yourintellect, your education to
protect your suffering becauseremaining an expert requires far
less energy than becoming abeginner at something.
And your lower brain does notcare if you stay stuck through
ignorance or intelligence.
It has no preference.
If ignorance won't keep you inthe same emotional pattern, it
(06:22):
will recruit your intelligenceinstead.
It will use your degrees, yourreligious knowledge, your life
experiences, your criticalthinking skills.
All of this is evidence for whyyou should not change.
In the hands of the nafs, evenintelligence becomes another
tool of self sabotage.
The smarter you are, the moresophisticated your self sabotage
(06:47):
becomes.
So while skepticism is a normalstage of healing, when you first
hear a new framework and yourbrain says this doesn't work,
skepticism is your nervoussystem asking for familiarity.
You might think you'reevaluating the work when your
body is evaluating thediscomfort of the change.
The question you should beasking is not is this true?
(07:10):
The question you should beasking is in the process of
this, will I have to becomesomeone that I've never been
before?
When you ask this question withgenuine curiosity, you start to
realize that your skepticismmight not be healthy after all.
You start to realize that youmight have been more loyal to
your pain than you thought.
If pain is your identity whereyou identify as a woman who
(07:34):
nobody understands or the womanwho has to be strong, healing
threatens that identity.
Not because pain is good.
We know pain is not good,especially if it's unnecessary
pain, but your brain wouldrather be right in the name of
efficiency every time than befree in the name of novelty.
(07:54):
If you come across a frameworkthat works and helps you heal,
then there's a chance that yourold story will lose its power,
and to the lower brain that isterrifying.
Because this would mean that nowyou're not helpless, now you
have agency, now you can't blameyour childhood or your
circumstances.
And this agency requires action.
(08:17):
And you might be protectingyourself from hope by calling it
skepticism.
And sometimes you do not want tobelieve healing is possible
because hope makes youvulnerable.
If you hope and it fails, youwill feel crushed.
So you stay skeptical to avoidthe grief of wanting something
and not being able to have it.
(08:38):
Skepticism is also you rejectingsimple tools because your pain
feels too complicated.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala oftenplaces transformation inside
repetition and simple tasks likesalah, dhikur, wudu, fasting,
daily practice.
Healing may be simple, butsimple does not mean shallow.
(09:01):
You have left healthy skepticismif all healing modalities feel
suspicious.
You have to question why yourbrain rejects everything that
could heal you.
This is how you come back tohealthy skepticism.
This is how skepticism becomes astage of healing rather than a
destination.
All of this is an invite for youto create a better relationship
(09:24):
with your skepticism.
You do not need to shameskepticism.
You don't need to coach throughit.
You can say, of course, I'mscared.
Of course, because this is new.
You can say I am allowed toquestion, but I'm asking you to
not allow yourself to use doubtas a prison.
You are allowed to test aframework through practice.
(09:46):
You're not allowed to haveendless mental debate so you
never get to practice anyframework.
Healing begins when you becomewilling to experiment.
Constant skepticism is a loyaltytest to your old identity.
You are not constantly skepticalbecause the framework of healing
is weak.
You are skeptical because itworks, and as a result of it you
(10:09):
will become someone new, andthat is terrifying.
If you have spent ten yearsbeing the one who is always
misunderstood, the one whosehusband never changes, the one
whose family doesn't supporther, the one who is always
criticized at work, then healingdoes not only ask you to feel
better, it asks you to loosenyour grip on the identity that
(10:32):
you've formed.
And these identities give you astrange sense of belonging.
Even painful identities becomefamiliar, comfortable homes.
You may at times hate this homethat you're living in, but it's
familiar to you.
You know where all of the lightswitches are.
You know that you like thetemperature in one shower area
(10:53):
versus the other.
So you've become really familiarwith this home even though at
times you hate living here.
You have to also question yourskepticism because the mind
confuses complexity with truth.
And you reject simple healingbecause if you think your pain
is deep, the solution must becomplicated.
(11:13):
If someone tells you notice yourthoughts, regulate your body,
just choose the very nextaction, your mind will say this
cannot be it.
I want a nine hundred pagemanual of healing.
It demands a complicated routetowards your well being because
your injury has beencomplicated.
But I ask you to be mindful thatsometimes the most powerful
(11:36):
truths are simple enough thatthe ego feels insulted by them.
So I encourage you to try thesimple things.
Your ego would always rather beright than free.
If you stay skeptical because ifthe work is true, then you have
to admit you had more agencythan you ever wanted to believe,
and you start to blame yourself,but that in itself will keep you
(12:00):
stuck.
So the freedom is in practicingyour agency, not self blame.
Blame will say this is my fault,I was not able to create change
all these years.
Agency and responsibility saysthere is something I can do now.
And the ego hates that becausebeing right about how impossible
(12:20):
everything feels is safer thanbeing responsible for taking the
next step.
Another barrier is that if youaccept that healing is possible,
then you may have to grieve howlong you've lived without it.
Skepticism can be a way to avoidthis grief, so you may not have
to feel the sadness of all ofthe years you've spent over
(12:42):
functioning or begging andproving your worth, all of the
years you've spent victim toyour diagnosis or a victim to
your child's diagnosis.
If you heal all of that, thenyou will face the possibility of
why didn't you do this before?
So skepticism becomes a wallagainst this grief.
There is a simple fix for this,and that is you can decide right
(13:05):
now that regardless of what youdecide to choose as a path to
your healing, when you do feelbetter, you will not become
judgmental of what you didn't doand how fast you didn't do it.
You can decide right now thatyou will be self forgiving and
will be in complete acceptanceof your decisions.
You can decide that what you didor didn't do happened exactly in
(13:29):
the right time.
Guidance arriving now or laterdoes not mean that Allah
abandoned you at any earlierpoint.
It just means that this is themoment you were invited to
create your change.
I believe in my heart of heartsthat healing exists for every
woman, and some women are notskeptical of healing, they're
skeptical of receiving it forthemselves.
(13:52):
There's also skepticism thatyour mind offers that feeds your
sense of moral superiority.
And that happens when your brainsays that you will lose the
moral high ground that you'vegained through suffering.
A lot of times being religious,being spiritual gets confused
with how much you're able tosuffer.
(14:12):
So you subconsciously continueto say look how much I can
tolerate, look how patient I am,look how wrong everyone else is.
Healing threatens that story.
If you keep retelling the storyof what they did because that
story gives you a place to standabove them, you will use
skepticism of the healingmodalities to stay on that
(14:36):
pedestal, even though it hurtsyour life and your future
possibilities.
Quran calls you to purificationof this nafs, the Teskiathan
Nuffs, this is Teskiathan Nuffs,so that you can call your nafs
out on all of these lies thatit's spinning.
Then there's the most dangerousskepticism, and that is
(14:57):
selective.
You question coaching, therapy,nervous system, emotional
healing, and you do that with amicroscope with a fine tooth
comb, but you accept youranxious thoughts with zero
evidence.
You question the modality, butyou do not question the thought
that says nothing will everchange.
(15:17):
You question the teacher, butyou do not question your own
inner critic that has beenruining you.
Coaching and other healingapproaches open your eyes to
this biased loyalty tosuffering.
Skepticism itself needs a limit.
It is healthy when itinvestigates.
It turns into self sabotage whenit moves in permanently, and it
(15:39):
starts to live rent free in yournervous system.
At some point you have toquestion the skepticism itself.
There are thousands uponthousands of healing
opportunities out there.
The greatest tragedy is not thelack of these modalities, it is
that you will never giveyourself an opportunity to find
out if you stay enslaved inconstant skepticism.
(16:02):
Years from now you may stillhave the same marriage, the same
anxiety, the same resentment,the same emotional reactions,
and the same relationship withyourself, all because your
skepticism kept you safe in yourcurrent identity.
You became so committed toprotecting yourself from
disappointment that you alsoprotected yourself from any
(16:24):
transformation.
So before you reject the nextpossibility, the next coach, the
next framework, or even the nextconversation, ask yourself with
loving honesty who inside of youdesperately needs this not to
work?
Because the answer to thatquestion will tell you far more
about your future than anyframework could, knowing that
(16:47):
your skepticism may not bestanding between you and false
hope, but rather standingbetween you and the life Allah
has been inviting you into allalong.
And perhaps today is the day youbecome skeptical of your
skepticism itself.
With that I pray to Allah.
O Allah, grant me the courage toquestion the thoughts that keep
(17:10):
me trapped, and the wisdom torecognize the paths in front of
me.
Olah, you have opened my healingfor me.
Protect me from mistaking fearfor discernment or familiarity
for truth.
Purify my enough and soften myhearts towards growth that
brings me closer to you, Ya RabAmin Yarabulamin.
(17:31):
Please keep me in your drawas.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizably successful.
Now your host, Dr.
Gamal Abtar.
SPEAKER_01 (00:16):
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Today's episode is about nervoussystems fear of unfamiliar
tools.
And the focus is going to be onnovelty, hope, disappointment,
and the brain rejecting whatcould help it because it is
afraid to go towards a realitythat it hasn't lived before.
(00:37):
I do have to admit that when Istarted my coaching services, I
found a lot of women skepticalof the modalities of healing,
and rigidly so because theymight have used different
modalities in the past that didnot help them.
And when these previousmodalities didn't work, it leads
them to enter any world ofhealing with skepticism and
concern.
(00:58):
So in the beginning, as a newcoach, I would treat this as an
obstacle, and I would treat itas a wall that we came across
that we had to break through.
But now I'm a little more wise.
I treat it as a stage.
Skepticism of healing is a stagein your healing.
Skepticism is a healthy responsebecause of the novelty that
(01:20):
healing brings.
So women come to me and theyengage with my work, but they
might not sign up for mycoaching, saying that it doesn't
work, which is perfectly fine,except that they go around
saying that nothing works.
So then they start usingskepticism as an excuse to not
heal rather than a stage ofhealing that it is.
(01:41):
As an example, if you don'tagree with one thing or some
things that I teach, then youuse that to disagree with
everything that I have to say,rejecting all of my ideas
because there's disagreementwith one of my ideas.
This skepticism is born becauseanything unfamiliar creates an
apprehension in your system justbecause of its novelty, even if
(02:04):
that novelty comes with apromise of improvement.
The original apprehensionthoughts sound like this is not
for me, who made her the expert,I don't agree with anything
she's saying, or other thoughtslike this can't be possible,
it's not for me.
Wellness, improvement,stability, joy, all of this is
for other people.
(02:25):
This skepticism is created byyour primal mind in its quest of
conserving energy, becausecoming out of the mental pathway
that keeps creating pain in yourlife over and over again, even
though it keeps you rehearsingyour suffering, it is the less
energy consuming pathway, andyour nupti mind will keep you
(02:46):
there for as long as it can.
So the healing becomes tricky.
The lowest part of your primalbrain will use each and every
excuse to justify keeping you inpain, to justify not spending
any energy towards wellness, andkeep you in skepticism and
constantly looping your thoughtsand keeping you in doubt.
(03:07):
Doubting yourself, doubtingcoaching, doubting health care
or other mental wellnessmodalities, it will keep you
recycling the pain over and overagain, and it will use your
intellect, your knowledge, yourexperience, your degrees to
justify recycling that pain andjustify your position instead of
(03:28):
actually letting you createchange.
So imagine you finally found acoaching framework that could
genuinely change how you think.
So you listen to one podcastepisode and instead of
practicing the tool for a week,your mind immediately starts
researching.
You start researching Redditthreads, you watch YouTube
(03:48):
videos, you compare it to CBT,DBT, ACT, IFS, NLP,
psychodynamic therapy,attachment theory, and
neuroscience.
You spend three months trying todetermine whether this is the
right modality.
And by the end of these threemonths you've become incredibly
educated about healing withoutbecoming any healthier.
(04:11):
And your primal brain absolutelyloves this because researching
feels productive while requiringalmost no emotional change.
You spend enormous mental energyavoiding the one thing that
actually requires energy,practicing a different way of
being.
Your intellect becomes a defensemechanism in this case.
(04:33):
Your knowledge became anotherway to stay exactly where you
are.
You are educated, you are smart,you're hard working, you have
the trainings and you understandphysiology, psychology,
pathology, even pharmacology.
You've educated yourself inevidence based practice.
So every time you hear acoaching concept, your mind
(04:54):
immediately starts analyzing it.
This sounds like confirmationbias.
This overlaps with CBT.
The evidence here isn't strongenough.
The studies here are limited.
Correlation doesn't equalcausation.
And yada yada yada, yourreasoning continues.
And everything you're saying maybe intellectually accurate, but
(05:15):
notice what is never happeninghere.
You never practice observingyour own thoughts that was the
original invite of the podcast.
Your knowledge became the shieldagainst transformation, and you
never really learned to regulateyour nervous system during
conflict, which was youroriginal goal to begin with.
You continue to remain theperson that can't think clearly
(05:38):
when your child misbehaves, andyou're not any more successful
in your business than you werebefore.
The primal brain would muchrather have you critique the
treatment than receive it.
It will rather keep you underthe impression that intellectual
superiority is the healingrather than have you actually
create some change or beemotionally free.
(05:58):
It uses your mind, yourintellect, your education to
protect your suffering becauseremaining an expert requires far
less energy than becoming abeginner at something.
And your lower brain does notcare if you stay stuck through
ignorance or intelligence.
It has no preference.
If ignorance won't keep you inthe same emotional pattern, it
(06:22):
will recruit your intelligenceinstead.
It will use your degrees, yourreligious knowledge, your life
experiences, your criticalthinking skills.
All of this is evidence for whyyou should not change.
In the hands of the nafs, evenintelligence becomes another
tool of self sabotage.
The smarter you are, the moresophisticated your self sabotage
(06:47):
becomes.
So while skepticism is a normalstage of healing, when you first
hear a new framework and yourbrain says this doesn't work,
skepticism is your nervoussystem asking for familiarity.
You might think you'reevaluating the work when your
body is evaluating thediscomfort of the change.
The question you should beasking is not is this true?
(07:10):
The question you should beasking is in the process of
this, will I have to becomesomeone that I've never been
before?
When you ask this question withgenuine curiosity, you start to
realize that your skepticismmight not be healthy after all.
You start to realize that youmight have been more loyal to
your pain than you thought.
If pain is your identity whereyou identify as a woman who
(07:34):
nobody understands or the womanwho has to be strong, healing
threatens that identity.
Not because pain is good.
We know pain is not good,especially if it's unnecessary
pain, but your brain wouldrather be right in the name of
efficiency every time than befree in the name of novelty.
(07:54):
If you come across a frameworkthat works and helps you heal,
then there's a chance that yourold story will lose its power,
and to the lower brain that isterrifying.
Because this would mean that nowyou're not helpless, now you
have agency, now you can't blameyour childhood or your
circumstances.
And this agency requires action.
(08:17):
And you might be protectingyourself from hope by calling it
skepticism.
And sometimes you do not want tobelieve healing is possible
because hope makes youvulnerable.
If you hope and it fails, youwill feel crushed.
So you stay skeptical to avoidthe grief of wanting something
and not being able to have it.
(08:38):
Skepticism is also you rejectingsimple tools because your pain
feels too complicated.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala oftenplaces transformation inside
repetition and simple tasks likesalah, dhikur, wudu, fasting,
daily practice.
Healing may be simple, butsimple does not mean shallow.
(09:01):
You have left healthy skepticismif all healing modalities feel
suspicious.
You have to question why yourbrain rejects everything that
could heal you.
This is how you come back tohealthy skepticism.
This is how skepticism becomes astage of healing rather than a
destination.
All of this is an invite for youto create a better relationship
(09:24):
with your skepticism.
You do not need to shameskepticism.
You don't need to coach throughit.
You can say, of course, I'mscared.
Of course, because this is new.
You can say I am allowed toquestion, but I'm asking you to
not allow yourself to use doubtas a prison.
You are allowed to test aframework through practice.
(09:46):
You're not allowed to haveendless mental debate so you
never get to practice anyframework.
Healing begins when you becomewilling to experiment.
Constant skepticism is a loyaltytest to your old identity.
You are not constantly skepticalbecause the framework of healing
is weak.
You are skeptical because itworks, and as a result of it you
(10:09):
will become someone new, andthat is terrifying.
If you have spent ten yearsbeing the one who is always
misunderstood, the one whosehusband never changes, the one
whose family doesn't supporther, the one who is always
criticized at work, then healingdoes not only ask you to feel
better, it asks you to loosenyour grip on the identity that
(10:32):
you've formed.
And these identities give you astrange sense of belonging.
Even painful identities becomefamiliar, comfortable homes.
You may at times hate this homethat you're living in, but it's
familiar to you.
You know where all of the lightswitches are.
You know that you like thetemperature in one shower area
(10:53):
versus the other.
So you've become really familiarwith this home even though at
times you hate living here.
You have to also question yourskepticism because the mind
confuses complexity with truth.
And you reject simple healingbecause if you think your pain
is deep, the solution must becomplicated.
(11:13):
If someone tells you notice yourthoughts, regulate your body,
just choose the very nextaction, your mind will say this
cannot be it.
I want a nine hundred pagemanual of healing.
It demands a complicated routetowards your well being because
your injury has beencomplicated.
But I ask you to be mindful thatsometimes the most powerful
(11:36):
truths are simple enough thatthe ego feels insulted by them.
So I encourage you to try thesimple things.
Your ego would always rather beright than free.
If you stay skeptical because ifthe work is true, then you have
to admit you had more agencythan you ever wanted to believe,
and you start to blame yourself,but that in itself will keep you
(12:00):
stuck.
So the freedom is in practicingyour agency, not self blame.
Blame will say this is my fault,I was not able to create change
all these years.
Agency and responsibility saysthere is something I can do now.
And the ego hates that becausebeing right about how impossible
(12:20):
everything feels is safer thanbeing responsible for taking the
next step.
Another barrier is that if youaccept that healing is possible,
then you may have to grieve howlong you've lived without it.
Skepticism can be a way to avoidthis grief, so you may not have
to feel the sadness of all ofthe years you've spent over
(12:42):
functioning or begging andproving your worth, all of the
years you've spent victim toyour diagnosis or a victim to
your child's diagnosis.
If you heal all of that, thenyou will face the possibility of
why didn't you do this before?
So skepticism becomes a wallagainst this grief.
There is a simple fix for this,and that is you can decide right
(13:05):
now that regardless of what youdecide to choose as a path to
your healing, when you do feelbetter, you will not become
judgmental of what you didn't doand how fast you didn't do it.
You can decide right now thatyou will be self forgiving and
will be in complete acceptanceof your decisions.
You can decide that what you didor didn't do happened exactly in
(13:29):
the right time.
Guidance arriving now or laterdoes not mean that Allah
abandoned you at any earlierpoint.
It just means that this is themoment you were invited to
create your change.
I believe in my heart of heartsthat healing exists for every
woman, and some women are notskeptical of healing, they're
skeptical of receiving it forthemselves.
(13:52):
There's also skepticism thatyour mind offers that feeds your
sense of moral superiority.
And that happens when your brainsays that you will lose the
moral high ground that you'vegained through suffering.
A lot of times being religious,being spiritual gets confused
with how much you're able tosuffer.
(14:12):
So you subconsciously continueto say look how much I can
tolerate, look how patient I am,look how wrong everyone else is.
Healing threatens that story.
If you keep retelling the storyof what they did because that
story gives you a place to standabove them, you will use
skepticism of the healingmodalities to stay on that
(14:36):
pedestal, even though it hurtsyour life and your future
possibilities.
Quran calls you to purificationof this nafs, the Teskiathan
Nuffs, this is Teskiathan Nuffs,so that you can call your nafs
out on all of these lies thatit's spinning.
Then there's the most dangerousskepticism, and that is
(14:57):
selective.
You question coaching, therapy,nervous system, emotional
healing, and you do that with amicroscope with a fine tooth
comb, but you accept youranxious thoughts with zero
evidence.
You question the modality, butyou do not question the thought
that says nothing will everchange.
(15:17):
You question the teacher, butyou do not question your own
inner critic that has beenruining you.
Coaching and other healingapproaches open your eyes to
this biased loyalty tosuffering.
Skepticism itself needs a limit.
It is healthy when itinvestigates.
It turns into self sabotage whenit moves in permanently, and it
(15:39):
starts to live rent free in yournervous system.
At some point you have toquestion the skepticism itself.
There are thousands uponthousands of healing
opportunities out there.
The greatest tragedy is not thelack of these modalities, it is
that you will never giveyourself an opportunity to find
out if you stay enslaved inconstant skepticism.
(16:02):
Years from now you may stillhave the same marriage, the same
anxiety, the same resentment,the same emotional reactions,
and the same relationship withyourself, all because your
skepticism kept you safe in yourcurrent identity.
You became so committed toprotecting yourself from
disappointment that you alsoprotected yourself from any
(16:24):
transformation.
So before you reject the nextpossibility, the next coach, the
next framework, or even the nextconversation, ask yourself with
loving honesty who inside of youdesperately needs this not to
work?
Because the answer to thatquestion will tell you far more
about your future than anyframework could, knowing that
(16:47):
your skepticism may not bestanding between you and false
hope, but rather standingbetween you and the life Allah
has been inviting you into allalong.
And perhaps today is the day youbecome skeptical of your
skepticism itself.
With that I pray to Allah.
O Allah, grant me the courage toquestion the thoughts that keep
(17:10):
me trapped, and the wisdom torecognize the paths in front of
me.
Olah, you have opened my healingfor me.
Protect me from mistaking fearfor discernment or familiarity
for truth.
Purify my enough and soften myhearts towards growth that
brings me closer to you, Ya RabAmin Yarabulamin.
(17:31):
Please keep me in your drawas.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
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