Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Life audio. This episode mentioned suicide and may be triggering
for some listeners.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
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Speaker 3 (00:51):
I pray to God that you would see that oftentimes
churches get it wrong, man. Churches get it wrong sometimes,
and we just slat Bible verses on stuff that could
be a chemical disruption in a body.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
And I just want to say to somebody, man, I'm
sorry that.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
You just got hit with a Bible verse when you
just needed somebody to sit in the puddle of your tears.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. This week, we'll hear
from Ed Newton, pastor of Community Bible Church in San Antonio, Texas.
Growing up as a CODA, a child of a deaf
adult ed bridged the hearing and deaf worlds for his parents,
fostering immense empathy but also hardship. Later, following his parents' deaths,
he faced a tidal wave of despair and suicidal thoughts.
(01:37):
He sought professional help and openly shared his struggle with
his church, who responded with grace. Now Ed advocates for
the church to be a hospital for the broken, urging
people to seek help and recognize it's okay to not
be okay, but not to stay that way. Later in
the episode, we'll hear from Wendell Vinson and Todd Lamb
fear from City Serve, an organization that helps equip and
(01:58):
empower churches to serve their communities. They discussed City Service
mission to equip local churches and to meet the last
mile of need in their communities. They highlight the church's
role in community transformation, citing reduced recidivism rates and it's
a central ministry of presence before, during, and after crises
like natural disasters or war. Finally, they acknowledge compassion fatigue,
(02:21):
emphasizing that faithful service requires spiritual replenishment in order to
continue to serve others. Well, let's begin with Ed's story.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
My name is Ed Newton, pastor of Community Bible Church
here in San Antonio, Texas. More importantly, I am married
to Stephanie twenty seven years of marriage. For children that
are named London Lola live laws in twenty two twenty
nineteen seventeen. I grew up in a home where both
(02:55):
parents are deaf. CODEA stands for child of death adult
and basically you are the bridge and the gap and
the mouthpiece for two deaf people, much like my mom
and dad. When I was about thirty five, I was
talking to my dad one day and I was like, Dad,
do you wish you up signing this?
Speaker 4 (03:11):
To him?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Of course, I was like, do you wish you could
be actually healed?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
And he was like he signs to me like no,
And I was like why and he signs to me,
He goes you, and I go, what do you mean me?
He goes, I'm watching you be a mouthpiece for God.
Knowing that God taught you how to do that by
being a mouthpiece for me and mom, and man, that
(03:37):
that just put everything in perspective for me. My mission
was to actually be the voice for two people that
could not speak and to help them understand how to
aggregate and acclimate into a hearing world.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And it came with a lot of hardship. It came
a lot of difficulty. It came with a lot of embarrassment.
You know, at times where you.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Know my mom and dad when they talk, they sound
very guttural and loud, and it drew a lot of attention,
and so it embarrassed me a lot when I was
growing up. And at the same time, then I feel
bad for being embarrassed with my mom and dad. And
then people just said some mean things like your parents
are deaf and dumb. No, they're not dumb, they're just deaf.
Or can your parents read? They're like, they're not illiterate,
(04:17):
I just can't hear. So ignorance was very typically, very
unfortunately not filtered through some proper, politically correct statements, and man,
it just it hurt me a lot, and it hurt
my mom and dad a lot along the way, and
so their pain became my pain. December twenty sixth, day
after Christmas, I woke up and nothing was going on
(04:37):
in my world professionally, personally in regards to my life.
Was working through some relational dynamics of just my family,
but just felt a sense of overwhelming despair. And it's
kind of hard to put into words, except for the
fact that I've battled depression and anxiety for several years now,
(05:01):
but this one was like a title wave. It was
like a tsunami of depression. My dad died in twenty
twenty two, my mom died in twenty twenty. There was
just like this vortex of a lot of things that
was just unfolding that just made me feel a level
of despair that I'd felt before. But it just felt
as if it was a hundred x that I didn't have
(05:22):
a suicidal plan. I didn't have ideations of how to
end my life. It was like, I think it would
be better that I wouldn't be alive, Like it would
just be much better just to go to heaven and
be done.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
And I'd never felt like that before in my life.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Like I'm a pretty positive, encouraging, love to be around
people and laugh, and found myself in a place of despair.
My wife, who is about five foot tall Filipino, crawlsing
my lap and just hey, we're gonna get through. This
took me several days to just get out of bed struggling.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Just couldn't see myself getting out of this funk that
I was feeling.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
So I not only notified my wife, you know, she's
walking with me, and then began to invite some people
into this, and so grateful that the board that represents
our church was like, hey, man, I want to encourage
you to just let's go get some help. And that
(06:25):
began that journey of some biblical guidance and counseling and therapy,
and it was just super refreshing to actually sit with
a professional that was able to look at the totality
of my life. I don't know how to express it,
except for the fact that I just felt as if
failure was just like before me and you kind of
(06:47):
get to a place where imposter syndrome and all of
this kind of just adds up. You're wrestling with insecurity,
you're wrestling with inadequacy, You're wrestling with like, I don't
feel really good.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I got lower chronic.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Back pain, and I'm just like, man, this is all
just adding up, just got heavy, and I'm like, I
think I just went out but that's where God met me.
You kind of get to a place where you get
sick of being sick and tired of being tired, and
you're like, Okay, I'm not going to die. I'm not
going to quit. It's okay not to be okay. So
it's not okay to stay that way when God can
(07:18):
break every chain. So the culture that we've created here,
it's just okay not to be okay. And I could
tell you a thousand stories of how this church is
the church that if I could just be even more candid,
me saying out loud to a congregation on a pretty
regular basis, like hey, I battle depression and battle anxiety
(07:40):
and I'm working through some stuff for me to even
tell the congregation and not be fired, to actually not
have a group of leaders come alongside of me and go, hey,
I think you're actually disqualified. This doesn't feel like a
tightest guy, You don't feel like a second Timothy guy.
You actually feel like you need to resign. It was
the opposite. We're going to be a hospital for the broken,
(08:01):
and we're going to do what Jesus did really really well.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Well. I pray to God that you would see that.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Oftentimes churches get it wrong, man, churches get it wrong sometimes,
and we just slap Bible verses on stuff that could
be a chemical disruption in a body. And I just
want to say to somebody, man, I'm sorry that you
just got hit with a Bible verse when you just
needed somebody to sit in the puddle of your tears.
I just I'm sorry that somebody just hit you with
(08:30):
the Romans eight twenty eight and you just need somebody
just to listen.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
And I wouldn't give up on the church.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
That church didn't hurt you, that the person was trying
to do the best they knew how to do. And
I believe some of the healthiest people I have ever
met sit on somebody's couch. I actually think it's the
red flag of danger. Is for somebody that says I'm good,
(08:56):
I don't need counseling, I would say, watch out for
that's a slippery slope of destruction that's about to happen.
I use this analogy. I think life is like a
two liter bottle, and man, it'll just shake you up sometimes.
If I handed you a two liter bottle and just
shook it up and said I need you to open
it right now you're like, no, I need to wait.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
I'd be like, no, I need you to open it
right now.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
You do the most logical thing you would, like barely
turn the cap. And I just think most people life
gets shaken up and they don't know what to do
with that. And then one moment sitting with somebody that
lets you just go sh oh, just don't live life
(09:39):
all bound up when you can find somebody that would
love you just to sit with you and go, hey,
let me tell you what I hear and see, You're
not alone. This world is filled with multiple voices that
(10:00):
speak to you on what to do, where to be,
where to go, and that comes through various of social media,
in movies and music and news outlets. We're constantly hearing
and listening and feeling. But when we do not align
our heart to what God says, who is the ultimate voice,
(10:21):
then it just conflicts the directional, navigational component of our life.
And so to begin with a belief that God and
his word and his voice can be heard, it could
be received, and it actually could give direction to a
life and makes something feel meaningless become meaningful, ordinary, extraordinary
(10:43):
because there's a God who never changes, who operates out
of the character of sovereignty and goodness, who's always working
for your greater good. So why not begin a day
with him and let him frame the filter of how
you're to see the world. And that's when we begin
to embrace the fact that no weapon formed against you
shall prosper.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Greater is heath that's.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
In you than he that's in the world. I can
do all things, said Christy strengthens me. And then you
begin to realize, Man, it's not really me doing this
on my own. It's God working in and through me.
And this God wants to talk to me. I like
it this way. God not only loves you, he actually
likes you too.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Jesus listens.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
June eighteenth, My Savior God, I rejoice.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
You have clothed me with garments of salvation.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Your robe of righteousness is mine eternally, because you are
my savior forever. Your perfect righteousness can never be taken
away from me. This means I don't need to be
afraid of facing my sins.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Or dealing with them.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
As I became aware of sin in my life, I
can confess it and receive your forgiveness and full measure.
Help me also to forgive myself. I know that self
hatred is very unhealthy for me, and it is not
pleasing to you. To avoid this hurtful snare. I'm learning
(12:09):
to take many looks at you for every look I
take at my sins and failures, I delight in your
assurances that I am precious in your sight. I'm so
thankful I don't have to prove my worth by trying
to be good enough. You lived a perfect life on
my behalf because you knew I could not do so.
(12:32):
Now I want to live in this glorious freedom of
being your fully forgiven follower, remembering that there is no
condemnation for those who belong to you in your forgiving name,
Jesus Amen.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
To learn more about Ed, visit at Newton dot com
and be sure to check out his book Why Not
You Believing What God Believes about You, Available at your
favorite retailer. Stay tuned to Wendell Vincent and TODDLM. Fearstory.
After a brief message looking for a source of daily
(13:11):
encouragement and peace, The Jesus Calling app brings you closer
to God with daily devotionals right on your phone. Explore
features like personalized daily devotionals and soothing audio readings. You
can bookmark your favorite passages, set reminders for your devotional time,
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(13:33):
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or use it to end your evening in gratitude, the
Jesus Calling App offers comfort, guidance, and a deeper connection
to God at your fingertips. Get started today for free.
The Jesus Calling App is available in both the Apple
and Google Play stores. Wendell Vinson, co founder of City
(14:01):
Serve and longtime pastor of Canyon Hills Church, and toddlem Fear,
senior vice president of City Serve, discussed the vital role
of the church in transforming communities, including measurable results like
lower residivism rates. The conversation highlights the church's a central
ministry of presence, offering support before during an after crisis
such as natural disasters or conflicts. Acknowledging the reality of
(14:24):
compassion fatigue, Vincent and Lamvier stress that ongoing service requires
consistent spiritual replenishment to effectively care for others.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Wendell Vinson, President, co founder of City Serve, pastor of
Canyon Hills Church, Bakersville, California. City Serve was launched in
twenty sixteen as a resourcing ministry to local churches.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
Todd Lambfeir, Senior vice president of City Serve. Serve also
on the executive team for the National Faith Advisory Board.
I'd met pastor Wendell and Dave Donaldson, the two co
founders of City Serve, in Washington, d C. And I'd
(15:15):
never met them, had not heard about their organization like
I do for all the first time people wanting to
meet with the White House. I gave them fifteen minutes,
and that fifteen minutes turned into two hours as I
just listened to them unpacked their story of how important
(15:36):
it is to love on and to resource the local church.
The local church can be the heroes in their community.
It just captivated me. And the beauty of this organization
is that puts at the central point the local church
and making sure that the local church becomes the hero
(15:56):
in every community and resourcing them to a point to
where they can meet the needs of people who are
living in that last mile of need. That is the
absolute genius of city serve.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Most people come to Jesus out of pain. They come
when they're empty or when they are in desperate need.
I've been pastoring the church that I pastor for forty
two years, and seldom have I had someone come and say,
I am doing good. I have money at the bank,
(16:35):
my kids are great, my marriage is great. I need
to get saved. Almost entirely people come out of a need,
either emptiness inside or a real pain point in their life.
And so we helped churches make that journey with people
toward Jesus and toward a life of discipleship. And we
(17:00):
resource churches in three primary ways, with the resources that
they need to serve the poor and the needy in
their community, with capacity building training helping them learn how
to serve that population in their community. And then thirdly,
with a collaboration, helping them know how to collaborate both
(17:22):
with other churches in their community and also with the
stakeholders in their community. We want them to be good
community partners, serve their community, lead with what they're for,
and so we encourage churches to work deeply with their
other stakeholders in their community.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
It doesn't take long for any pastor to realize that
the needs are out there. The question is what are
they going to do about it. Any pastor, any ministry
that just opens up its eyes and looks into the
field and see that they're ripe and the harvest should
want to do something about it. So the question isn't
(18:02):
the desire as much as it is the ability to
meet that need. And that's really where City Serve comes
in and partners with the local church to help resource
and to help meet those needs. And it's a beautiful
partnership that allows pastors and churches that have a desire
(18:23):
to meet the practical physical needs of the community it
was called to serve and to have an organization come
alongside it to help make that happen. This is the
beauty of the partnership between the local church and City Serve.
And this partnership helps with food insecurity. We did that
(18:47):
through the Farmers to Family Food Box program with over
seventeen point three million boxes of life giving food given
out every week during the pandemic through the local church
to meet people who are living in that last mile
of need.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
When Jesus was commissioning his disciples that Cesri ap Philippi,
and he said to them, I'm building my church and
the gates of Hell will not prevail against it. He
was telling them that He's giving them the keys to
the kingdom to enable them to against all odds present
(19:24):
and represent Jesus to their communities. He meant it. I
mean he took them all the way from the Galilee
region up into Cesria Philippi, where the backdrop in Cesarea
Philippi was really pagan worship, and he was making that
journey using that as the backdrop, so that they would
understand that they didn't have to be intimidated by evil,
(19:47):
or by darkness or by pain in the world around them,
that they could, in the name of Jesus, and in
the power of Jesus, represent Jesus well, even in times
of great difficulty. So he was in effect commissioning his disciples.
I would argue it is the most dynamic infrastructure for
(20:09):
community transformation. It's interesting that the data actually validates how
powerful the ministry the church can be. We can kind
of criticize all the things that are wrong in our
world and curse the darkness, or we can be people
who see our role as being healing agents. Now there's
(20:33):
a time to have a prophetic voice, And I would
argue that when you serve your community, it only strengthens
your prophetic voice to speak truth to your generation. But
there is an amazing dynamic that happens when the church engages.
For instance, I live in California and we have a
ton of recidivism, people just going and prisons and back out,
(20:58):
and prisons and back out. And the statistics show that
if a person coming out out of prison just goes
back into his old lifestyle around the same people, kind
of living the same lifestyle, it doesn't have some kind
of change transformation his life. He's in the high sixty percentile.
(21:20):
He's going to go back into prison within a decade,
within ten years. But across America, if that same person
connects with a local church, gets in a group, finds
some new friends, begins to learn a new way of living,
that drops to seven and eight percent. So when a
(21:40):
person connects with the Body of Christ and starts moving
down a different path, it transforms community. One of the
first things that we do in times of war or disaster,
natural disaster is identify God's people, local churches that are
(22:06):
in the middle of that war, are that disaster a
network potentially of churches, a coalition of churches in a
community that are cooperating and working together, and then we
resource them. We don't go around them. We resource them
because they were there before that war or disaster happened.
(22:29):
They're going to be there. They're there right now, in
the middle of it, living through it real time, and
they're going to be there after it's all over.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
What people need in times of disaster more than anything
is they need the ministry of presence. They just need
to know that they're not alone, that there's someone there
that is driven from a neighboring town, has flown in
from a neighboring state, and they're there. Especially early on
(23:03):
in a disaster, so much that can happen. There's very
little an average person can do. Search and rescue is
going on, which is part of what we do at
City Serve with our compassion collective, with our air assets
and helicopters. Those things are needed most. But when you
get past that, what people need they just need to
(23:25):
know that they're not alone. The unfortunate thing about disasters
like Texas, like Jamaica, like Leahina war zones like Ukraine
and Israel. What people need to know is that you're
going to be there for the long haul. And here's
the reality. I mean, these disasters have a shelf life
(23:47):
of about eight to fourteen days.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
It all kind of lead that with a story of
a young couple in our church. They were mobilized to
go and serve at a summer cap the past couple
of years. That has been through the church taking place
for over thirty years, and they went the last couple
of years and served in that camp. It's a camp
(24:12):
where the county allows us to take foster children that
are in the system to a week long summer camp.
They get to learn archery, they get to ride horses,
they get to swim, they get to play, they get
to just experience camp. Most of them for the first
time that they've ever been to a summer camp. Rayan
(24:33):
was a a wonderful young couple took their vacation time
from their jobs and that's what their family did. They
went and served at that camp. They already have two
children that are young. They're a young family. This last
summer they served a couple of children. There were siblings,
(24:54):
a boy, and a girl that were about eleven and twelve,
and they just built a relationship with them. They found
out from their social worker later that the placement back
inside their home wasn't going to be a possibility. That
those kids had been in the system in and out
for years and long term they were going to be
(25:16):
in the system probably the rest of their life. And
this young couple sought the Lord and prayed and went
on this process of fostering to adopt. Their adoption was
just recently finalized here in our county. And at the
dedication of their children to the Lord, I was watching
(25:40):
this young family who had plenty on their plate. They
had the challenges every young couple has, but got enlarged
their heart for these two children and they brought them
into their family. Now they're family of four children are
a family of six. And I watched them on the
stage as they were dedicating their children to the Lord,
(26:02):
and I thought, this young couple has, by the grace
of the Lord, made a decision as a holy spirit
led them. It's going to impact generations to come. The
lives of those two children will never be the same.
One of our key statements to churches is that compassion
is scalable. You start where you are with what you have,
(26:27):
and God will take you further. So compassion through the
local church can be incredibly creative. I in fact think
it's better for churches just to operate out of their
own sense of identity and their own creativity. We just
resource them in doing that. So it can be very
(26:48):
small acts of compassion that have really big impact the
churches are doing to care for their widows in their community,
or it can be something large. We have some churches
that are actually building entire communities for their widows in
(27:10):
their community where they can care for them in an
ongoing way. So it can be small or it can
be large. We have churches that aren't trying to serve
in that space that represents those that are homeless or
at risk of homelessness, and there are churches that are
(27:30):
doing small acts of compassion where they're going out and
serving them and trying to engage with them and reach
out to them and proclaim the Gospel to them in
creative ways. We have churches that are building homeless communities
where they're actually bringing them in and doing amazing things
(27:52):
that are impacting entire cities. Workforce development, getting those individuals
back on a path of growing, helping them overcome personal barriers,
maybe mental health barriers or addiction issues. It's scalable. Compassion scalable.
Speaker 5 (28:10):
In the line of work that we're in, particularly as
relates to disaster relief, disaster response, Compassion fatigue is just
a reality. You cannot give out what you do not
have in you. And this is why being saturated in
(28:31):
God's Word every day is so vitally important. Just the
daily grind of life lowers the energy of the spirit
inside of you. And then when you add on events,
and you add on situations and your environments that are
high stress environments like a disaster relief or a war zone,
(28:55):
you need to be filling up on a heavy dose
of the Word of God, whether reading it or listening
to it. It needs to be an app absolute constant.
It's not a luxury, it's an absolute necessity. It's a
non negotiable to stay in God's Word, to commune with him,
(29:18):
to listen to worship music, to pray for God, to
just continue to be your strength, to be your source,
to be your all in all, and without it, without
having any of that, you'll become a casualty yourself, and
in our midst of doing for others, we first must
(29:41):
do for ourselves. It's like being on that plane that's
going down, and we know what the stewardess tells us
when the oxygen comes down, put the oxygen on yourself first,
and then help others. And that's really what has to
happen for those who are involved in meeting the needs
of others. You need to take care of yourself spiritually,
(30:05):
being his word every single day.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
I just found that it's not our own strength, our
own power. I mean, Zacharia says, that is not by
might or my power, but by the spirit of the
Lord that the work is done. And if any of
us think that we can in our own strength or
power just live out what the Lord's called us to,
(30:33):
we're mistaken. It all flows out of that personal relationship
with the Lord Jesus Christ. It all flows out of
that place, that secret place, that place with Him where
his holy spirit just fills us, strengthens us, enlightens our thinking,
(30:54):
drives us, moves us forward, empowers us to go forward
add to the work that He has for us. So
I just encourage everyone to trust him or fully he
isn't surprised by any of the things that are going
on in the world around us right now. He knew
exactly when each of us were going to live, be born,
(31:16):
live our time on this earth. He has a work
force to do, but it's a time to really depend
on him more every single day to give us what
we need. If we don't, we're going to run out
of gas. We won't make the long run, we won't
finish faithfully without his power and his strength and his
(31:37):
spirit that work in our lives. Something that's really helped
me is to just remind myself that he's the Lord
of the Harvest, and he loves these people far more
than any of us could ever love them. He has
watched them from the time they were in their mother's womb.
(32:01):
He knows every detail everything that they've been through. He's
the Lord of the Harvest, and he wants to be
the lord of their lives. And really recognizing that it's
ultimately a work of God's spirit that we can do
our best, and we should, but ultimately it's the Lord
(32:23):
working and their heart and life that's going to make
all the difference. And when I remind myself, Lord, this
is your harvest and these are your people. Lord, You
do the heavy lifting here, not me. But I'm going
to do what you've called me to do and be
who you've called me to be, and then I'm going
to trust you to do what only you can do.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
To learn more about City Serve, visit Cityserf dot us.
If you'd like to hear more stories about living out
who we were created to be, check out our interview
with Erica Campbell. Next time on the Jesus Calling podcast,
(33:12):
we'll hear from television host Kathy Lee Gifford, who believes
in the power of relationship over the power of religion.
Speaker 6 (33:20):
I think religion puts us in chains, and Jesus came
to get us out of the chains. It's all about relationship,
not religion, and I think we've really lost touch with
that in Western Christianity.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith
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you stories from people who share their journeys of faith
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Be sure to follow us on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or
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(33:58):
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Calling website at jesuscalling dot com