Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Life Audio.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Did you know that Jesus Calling has its own YouTube channel.
It's full of great content that will enhance your spiritual life.
You'll find beautiful videos with short devotional moments to help
you through your day, as well as stories on video
from celebrities, authors, pastors, and everyday people who share what
their faith journey has meant to them. You'll also find
that Jesus Listens Stories of Prayer series hosted by Susie
(00:33):
McIntyre Eaton, featuring new guests monthly. Subscribe today for new
videos each week.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
The way that I show up at work it matters
to me. One of the greatest gifts that my faith
has given me in my life is knowing how beloved
I am, and knowing that I'm seen, and knowing that
I matter and that I'm valuable and that I belong right.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. This week, we're thrilled
to be celebrating our five hundredth podcast episode. Sarah Drew,
known for her roles in Grey's Anatomy and Everwood, Sarah
shares how her faith shaped her career journey. From a
pastor's kid finding God's pleasure in acting to navigating the
pressures of Hollywood. She discusses the rewarding challenge of developing
(01:19):
her Gray's Anatomy character, April Kepner, into an honest portrayal
of a person of faith, including the storyline of April's
crisis of faith and her eventual return. Later in the episode,
We'll Hear from actor Jeanine Turner, Jeanine recounts her own
tumultuous journey to Hollywood, characterized by countless rejections and setbacks.
She shares the story of her darkest period, when she
(01:41):
only had eight dollars and felt entirely alone, right before
landing her breakthrough unexpected role as a bush pilot in
Northern Exposure, a role she nearly lost due to being
considered too pretty. Janine reminds us that closed doors often
lead to unexpected better opportunities, proving that perseverance, even through
black holes of despair, can take us to where we're
(02:01):
meant to be. Let's begin with Sarah's story.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
I grew up on Long Island in New York, and
I've always been a piquet pastor's kid. I think a
lot of people assume that if you're a pastor's kid,
you love to rebel or your parents are super judgy
and you feel like you live in this box that
(02:30):
you can't get out of. And I would say my
experience was totally opposite to that. I grew up in
a really beautiful home with a ton of laughter and
so much support. We always watched Chariots of Fire growing up,
and Eric Little the main character in Cherry's Fire. He's
this incredible runner and his sister wants him to leave running,
(02:53):
to go and become a missionary in China, I think,
and he has this line where he says, well, I
can't go because when I run, I feel God's pleasure.
And for me, that was sort of my motto life.
That's what acting is for me. So when I act,
I feel God's pleasure. It was an extension of how
I lived out my faith and my giftings in the world.
(03:17):
I don't remember a time in my life when I
wasn't acting. When I graduated from kindergarten, I walked out
onto the stage and was like, and.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
This is my new home.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
I belong on the stage. I will sing, I will dance,
I will make you laugh, priye and think. And this
is where I am the most alive hello, and welcome.
Here I am and I'm here to stay. That was
my energy walking onto the stage of my kindergarten graduation,
and I went on to any possible stage I could
(03:49):
get myself on. Started doing community theater. I was in
every school play. I did a couple of like regional,
you know, professional shows when I was in eighth grade,
and then again in ninth grade. I just couldn't get
enough of it. It was my greatest job. I was
acting all through high school. And I went to look
at colleges and I went and visited University of Virginia
(04:11):
and fell madly in love with the department and with
the facility, and felt like immediately a sense of family
in the hallways of that university. I did this musical
theater program the summer between my second and third year
of college, and I made this snap decision that completely
changed the trajectory of my life. We'd only been working
(04:33):
on songs thus far at this musical theater program, but
I am a much stronger actor than I am a singer.
And we had this masterclass of this casting director from
a very prominent casting office come in to do a
masterclass with us, and I decided in the bathroom, and
I remember it so clearly and so viscerally. In the bathroom,
I'm like, I'm going to do a monologue. I'm gonna
(04:54):
do Nora from a doll's house. And that started my
career because that casting director then went to her office
and said, we got to bring this girl in for stuff.
And third audition they brought me in for was a
professional production of Romeo and Juliet and so I was
cast as Juliette in this incredible theater right outside of
(05:16):
New York. I ended up doing that play, and I
was reviewed in the New York Times and in Variety
and in all these places, and the reviews were really incredible.
And so I wound up kind of getting to choose
what agency I wanted to go with because they started
knocking on my door, which is just not a thing
that happens. It's like such a gift, you know. So
(05:37):
I was taking meetings in my fourth year of college
while I was engaged and preparing for my wedding and
getting all my classes done so I could graduate. I
signed with an agency that I'm still with today, and
I was off to the races. So it was a
wonderful way that it was all orchestrated and meant to
be and everything.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I had done.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
A little two episode of arc on Private Practice, which
was the spin off of Grey's Anatomy, and that's where
I got to meet Shonda and the whole Shondaland community
and family. And then when Grays came around, she first
offered these two episodes to me, just to like, come
play for two episodes. Which was the character at the
end of season five beginning of season six, it's the
(06:26):
character that George saves and then he gets hit by
the bus and I couldn't do it because I had
a scheduling conflict. Thank god, because then they called again
a couple months later to be like, Okay, we got
this other two episode arc. You're going to come on
and get fired. It's going to be really fun. So
I went to do this two episodes. I knew it
was only going to be two episodes, and then had
(06:46):
a blast and left. And the morning after that firing
episode aired, I got a call from my team and
they said they want to bring you back and this
might become a series regular gig. Cut to nine years later,
April Kepner came to be and blossom and grow and change.
But it's really interesting because there was no plan for
her to be there for any long term. From the beginning.
(07:09):
She came on to kind of be a catalyst and
be annoying and kind of grating. It was like, for
that whole first season I was on the show, season six,
I didn't have any fans. Like, people did not enjoy
April Kepner. The character was not loved, And so then
it became this journey of like who is this person?
(07:29):
How do we grow her? How do we shape her?
Who is she going to become? Every single episode i'd read,
I'd be like, Okay, what have you given me to do?
What can I show you that I can do today?
Who is she today? I approached April in the same
way that I would approach any other character. The gift
of having so many seasons to develop somebody, you actually
have time to sort of unpack and allow someone to
(07:52):
take seven different turns and twists and upside downs, and
you get to experience a far more human life when
you see someone on a series for a long period
of time. They didn't decide to make her a Christian
until end of season eight. April went through so much
trauma on that show. You know, she has a gunpointed
(08:15):
at her, she like literally trips on her best friend's
dead body. She loses a baby, her marriage falls apart,
She then gets cut open with no anesthesia, and maybe
her next baby is gonna die. She fails her boards,
she gets fired, and then she loses her faith. Like
the ultimate agony, which I think is a bigger agony
(08:37):
than any of those things, is a loss of your
central like north Star, Like if I don't have the
thing that rooted me and anchored me to the whole
purpose of my life, if that somehow comes undone and
is shaking under my feet, then what am I doing here?
(08:59):
How do you keep breathing? You know when you are
so shaken to your core? So telling that story was
so deep and so profound, the whole crisis of faith storyline.
I remember talking to the writer who was writing it.
We knew that April was going to have this journey
of loss of faith and then she was going to
have this coming back to faith storyline in season fourteen.
(09:23):
And I developed a relationship with her over eight years
on the show, and she asked me, She's like, what
would it take for a believer to come back, what
would you need to hear? And so I just said
to her, I think it's important for a believer to
know that nobody promises that we will have a pain
(09:44):
free life when we say yes. In fact, what we're
guaranteed is that there's going to be suffering. But what
we're also guaranteed is that we won't ever be alone
walking through it because we have God in human form
who did it for us and with us, and so
we have like a person with the ultimate empathy that
(10:05):
is walking those steps with us. I think I would
need to hear that, like, God is not indifferent to
your pain, you know. And so that line was put
into the script, and I remember being in that room
and the writer's being like, that's beautiful, that's lovely, Like, yeah,
let's do more of that. Seanda said, Look, I really
want to tell a very honest and multi layered and
(10:29):
vulnerable story about a person of faith. I want it
to feel authentic. I want it to feel real. Just
consider these doors open all the time anytime something doesn't
feel real, doesn't feel right. Could be more complicated, could
ask more questions and bring people in more to an
honest telling of a person faith story. Please tell us.
I had the tremendous privilege of getting to shape her
(10:51):
in a lot of ways, episode by episode, just in
tiny ways and in sometimes in bigger ways. I go
to fan conventions and things like this, or just meeting
people in the street who love April, and I often
get shape tears. And it's not because they're excited to
meet Sarah. It is because April has gone through like
(11:13):
so much trauma and has come out the other side
with this sparkling, still joyful hope, like she is relentless
in her pursuit of the gold in life and of
not losing that hope no matter how hard the thing is.
And so many people are suffering. So when they welcome
(11:37):
a character day after day, week after week, you know,
year after year, and really become kind of friends with
this person who's walked this path and they're feeling through
it with them, they feel like, if she can do it,
I can do it. Like April's my friend. So it's
a really beautiful. So it's just a powerful experience for
(11:58):
me also to see how she has affected so many people.
I cried through the nine years of that character. She
went through so much and she came out the other
side and you can too. You know, She's such a
part of me, and I think will always be a
part of me. In every job I walk onto, I
(12:24):
want the folks that I'm working with, the cast and
crew and everyone to really feel a sense of belonging
and that they deserve to be there and that they
are part of this community. And we're so happy that
they're here and all in this together. And so I
think that that's one of the biggest ways that I
kind of live out my faith.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
And experience is what you make it.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
So if you choose to show up, even if other
people are behaving badly around you, or maybe just not
as positive or not as enthusiastic about being there.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
You can still create your own vibe.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
You can choose to that positive energy that, like ground
and did openness, warmth, you bring with you.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
To learn more about Sarah Drew and to keep up
with her work, follow her on social media. Stay tuned
to Janine Turner's story After a brief message. These uncertain
times bring anxiety and fear, but Jesus listens. Prayers for
(13:34):
every season gives you daily prayers of comfort with seasonally
inspired illustrations. This beautiful book includes prayers that speak to
your situation, whether it's a time of stress or strength.
Look for Jesus Listens prayers for every season wherever you
buy books. Our next guest is actor Janine Turner, whose
(13:59):
path to Hollywood was full of setbacks, near missus and
moments that could have ended her career before it began.
From count auditions and feeling misunderstood to landing her breakthrough
role on Northern Exposure, Janine shares the insights and wisdom
of staying grounded in your identity and navigating the challenges
that test your strength and perseverance.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
My faith has been a huge part of my career.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
When I was in Texas, even I was at apprentice
to the Fourth Ballet and then my first place were
at Casamignana are local for Worth Theater and I didn't
get the role in Sound of Music, and I remember crying.
My mother was driving and she pulled over the side
of the road and I was like, I did that
was fourteen, you know, I didn't get the rungs on
the music. And my mother said, when God closes the door,
(14:46):
he opens a window. My mother was raised in a
devout Baptist family. Her grandmother, my great grandmother, played the
piano every Sunday at church, and so faith was really
integral always, and that sort of seed was planted within
me by my mother. So my career has been a
journey of God whispering in my ear a purpose. And
(15:10):
I believe we are all born with a purpose. God
gives us a purpose. And it's learning to navigate the
ups and downs and the dark times and the desperation,
and I've hit so many of these in my life
and various genres of my life, and just staying true
to the fact that God has given me a purpose
(15:31):
and I need to continue to listen to Him and
not to what everyone else around me is saying. Because
the journey in Hollywood is treacherous. It's just really difficult.
I often give speeches across the country about hearing ten
thousand no's. But it is just learning to hone your
craft and wait for God's timing. And I know that
(15:53):
in the Bible talks about I can't do it, but
God can. God will lean not on my own understanding,
but on God's understanding. My mother always taught me about tenacity,
and I guess what I've learned from this. She's the
most determined woman I know. But also I've imbued into
that sort of vernacular what does God want me to do?
(16:15):
And I'm not going to stop until I've tried every
avenue I know, because God may be directed me in
such a way, and it may be circuitous. In a
scope of a year, you might book two jobs and
the rest of the time you're doing three auditions a day,
four auditions a day, and it's this kind of gut
(16:35):
wrenching sort of sense of survival. But it was always
intertwined about my purpose for God. If God closes the door,
he opens a window, there will be a window. There'll
be the right thing at the right time. At age
of twenty three, I decided to move to New York
City because I was watching all the great roles where
you were taken seriously. Another thing is I wanted to
(16:57):
go beyond the exterior of how I looked because people
would pigeonhole me. So I told my agents I was
moving to New York City to study with a method
acting coach and to be a serious actress where I
could respect the craft of what I'm doing, or I
wasn't going to do and they fired me.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
They said, well, if you moved in New York.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
You know we're we're not doing that. So I thought, well, okay,
and I moved to New York. And in New York City,
I passed on a lot of things, but I had
a small role in Steel Magnilia's and and Monkey Shines
and things of that nature. But commercials wore my bread
and butter. And right around the time of Northern Exposure,
I hit this just exhaustive black hole where nothing in
(17:42):
my life was going the way I thought it should go.
I was now twenty seven, so I'd been auditioning either
from the age of three or from the age of fifteen.
I'd worked, but I'd never had my big break. I
had auditioned for this pilot with Stanley Tucci. Everybody knows
Stanley Tucci out there and Tom Selleck, and it was
(18:02):
his project.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
It was an NBC pilot. Lawyer. I thought, great, this
is it. You know, she's a lawyer.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
And back in the day, they had to fly you
from New York back out to la you had to
go in and meet the studio. Was just this excruciating experience,
and you had to sign a contract ahead of time.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
If you got the role, how much money you'd be making,
which is good money.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Around this time, I only had eight dollars left to
my name because I'd become oversaturated in the commercial market,
which had been my bread and butter. And I auditioned
for this. I didn't get it, and I had eight
dollars left. Nothing was going in my life. Nothing was
going well in my life at all. I was in
New York City, I'd been all alone, and I was very,
(18:45):
very depressed.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I was trying to do the right thing and be
a serious actress. And I this was the role.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
And this is leaning not on our own understanding, but
lean on God's understanding. To paraphrase, when I heard don't
let anybody put out your flame, you know the words,
I have a purpose, stick to it, and then my
saying that I love don't give up before the miracle.
And I got this call for Northern exposure, this bush
(19:11):
pilot in Alaska who killed her own deer and chopped
her own wood, and flew her own plane and fixed
her own plumbing. It was everything I had ever wanted.
But when I didn't get that Tom Selick pilot, I
couldn't see that I was leaning on my own understanding,
and I couldn't see that. So I didn't give up
before the miracle, because you know, eighty percent of success
is just showing up. And I crawled out of bed
(19:34):
and showed up for this audition. And when I arrived
at the audition in New York City, my sister in
law had flown up to help me because I was
so depressed. The casting director's assistant looked at me and said,
I don't know what these producers are doing. We saw
all of New York City's best talent last week.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Look oh okay, sure.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
And for the first time in my life, I've been
performing at molleying at the age of three, performing at
Carnivals tap dancing.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I couldn't walk in the room with the camera. I
just balked.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
I just like a horse trying to load a trailer.
I was like, I can't go in, and my sister
in law said, I'll go in with you. And I
did the Northern Exposure audition and afterwards we left and
I was crying down Park Avenue saying.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I can't act. I can't act.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
I just I just can't act. It's all over. And
then I get the call you know, had to get
back on a plane go back out to Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I wore a skirt instead of jeans.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
So in my first reading for in the Colisseum, you know,
with everybody from CBS, they had told Joshua Brand, our creator,
she's too pretty to be a pilot. And he comes
out and he's shaking his side. He goes, why did
you wear a skirt? They think you're too pretty to
be a pilot. And I thought, oh my gosh, am
I gonna lose this role because they think that I'm
(20:49):
too pretty to be a pilot. I mean, that's exactly
everything I'd been fighting against.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
And because I wore a skirt. So I walked back
in the room and God spoke to me.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
I walked in and I just took the chair and
I just straddled it in this kind of masculine sort
of way and read with Rob Morrow and I got
the part. And little did I know in that celebration
that I actually booked it. Looking back on all of it, now,
what if I'd given up before that miracle? And for
(21:20):
people that are so down and depressed and suicidal of things,
I was thinking, it's darkest before the dawn. Don't give
up before that miracle, and what if I hadn't shown
up for it? And I look back at it now.
Northern Exposure was a huge success. I mean five years,
one hundred and thirty two nominations. I was nominated for
Golden Globes and Emmys and.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Everybody said no.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
And at that point I had to rely on God.
I had to just rely on God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, listen,
don't give up, show up. And it became the most
miraculous opportunity for me that I think also used my
talents in such a way that were dignified, respected, and
(22:03):
it had an impact that made people's lives happier.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
To this day.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
We're doing a podcast about it, Northern Disclosure.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
People love Northern Exposure. So that's that story.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
It was a long, long trajectory, but it was all along.
It was about don't take no for an answer, don't
let anybody put out your flame that God has given
you or me, and.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Don't give up for that miracle.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
I was born in nineteen sixty two and in the
mid nineteen seventies was when Rocky was released, and Rocky
was just huge and Sylvester Saloone was a mega megastar.
You can't even make a star like that anymore. And
during halftime at the football games, and I was a cheerleader,
all the bands played the theme from Rocky, you know
what I mean. I had met Sylvester at an audition
(22:56):
and I was just in awe and I got cast
in the movie Cliffhanger, but Northern Exposure they needed me
to be in Italy where we filmed it on a Friday.
But Northern Exposure wasn't going to release me till the
following Wednesday. And if I couldn't make it to Italy
on that Friday, they were going to cast somebody else.
(23:19):
So I kept calling this the execs ait Universal and
dealing with them. I said, can't you reboard? It's like reschedule,
just reschedule it, and they said no, no, no, you
know we can't reschedule.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Absolutely not. I said, but I'm going to miss out
on this movie. You know, we could just do my scenes,
you know a little bit early. It's not that easy,
but I mean it could have been done. They said, no, no,
it can't be done.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
And once again I kept fighting, you know what I mean,
I was not going to take no for an answer,
and I was gonna, you know, not let anybody put
out my flame, and I was going to not give
up before the miracle.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I called the Universal EXECU. I'm like, look, my gosh,
it's a.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Huge action movie with syvestist alone, and why can't we
work this out?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
He goes, hang on out, hang on, I'll call you back.
He calls back.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
He goes, we can't do it because it's going to
cost seventy thousand dollars to reboard it.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Right now.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
I was only made one hundred thousand dollars on this movie.
But I knew that this movie role for me was
not about the money. It was about the role and
being in a movie with Sylvester Stallone in Italy and
Cliffhanger and whatnot. So I said to him, I'll pay it.
He said, he said what I said, I'll pay it,
And I like, if it's seventy thousand, fine, I'll give
(24:26):
you my entire salary.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
He goes, what hang on? He hung up.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
He was like, he was like stunned, and he calls
me back and he says, you're out. You can go,
And I said, what about the seventy thousand, because you
don't have to pay it when you're this tenacious and
a brave and God gives me all.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Of this, It's not like you don't ruffle a few feathers.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
But it worked and I was able to go film
the movie with Sylvester Stallone and it was a fabulous experience.
I have been through so many what I call black
holes in my life at different stages of my life.
I've hit this kind of literally, sort of a wall
of blackness where I'm desperate, or I'm in a panic attack,
(25:13):
or I'm crying hysterically and I don't see the light,
i don't see the hope. But there's always been something
that has kept me from going over that cliff, and
I believe it is my faith, and it's God and
(25:34):
Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and it's my recognition and
experience of my own life that if you just it's
darkest before the dawn, if I just stick with it,
tomorrow will be a better day. The next day will
be a better day. Ride this wave and get through it,
because there is always something beautiful on the other side.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
It may not be exactly how I pictured it. It
may be.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Better than most of the time, it's better than I
ever pictured it. Jesus calling at actually speaks an inspiration
to us through the divine and it's Jesus is calling
all of us. Jesus is saying hey, hello, and it's
up for us to listen to it. Don't give up
before that miracle, because it will be there on the
(26:21):
other side. And I've lived it over and over and
over in my life. I'm sixty two.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
And I'm here to tell you that I'm still here.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
So God must have a plan, and I'm going to
show up for it and see what it is. I'll
be reading a passage from Jesus. Listens October eighth. Delightful Lord,
An easy way for me to start talking with you
is to thank you for being my savior, God and
beloved friend. I can also give you thanks for the
(26:51):
things that are happening in my life, in my family
and beyond. These prayers that thanksgiving connect me with you
and ease my way into other types of prayers. I
can talk with you free you because you understand everything
about me and my circumstances.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
And since you paid the full penalty for.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
All my sins, I know you never reject me, so
I am free to pour out my heart to you.
Trusting in you, my refuge, in your redeeming name, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
To learn more about Jeanine Turner, visit Janine Turner dot
com and be sure to check out her new podcast,
co hosted with Rob Morrow, Northern Disclosure Wherever you listen
to podcasts. If you'd like to hear more stories about
what to do when God closes the door, check out
our interview with Aaron Hicks Moon. Next time on the
(27:59):
Jesus Calling podcast, we'll hear from author and speaker John O'Leary,
who shares the story of how he narrowly survived a
tragic house fire as a child and the unexpected heroes
who shaved his life in unimaginable ways.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
The heroes show up and none of them were tights,
and none of them were capes, and they just look
like ordinary friends who faithfully live out the message of
Jesus in life. If God can use those people, he
can use me. And that is a message I think
we need right now in this world.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith
podcast on the Life Audio Network. Every week we'll bring
you stories from people who share their journeys of faith
and how prayer and a relationship with God transformed their lives.
Be sure to follow us on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or
wherever you listen to podcasts, and leave us a review
(28:53):
so others can be inspired weekly by these stories of faith. Finally,
you can find encouragement resources and more on the Jesus
Calling website at Jesus Calling dot com.