October 25, 2024 • 35 mins
Marriage and travel have been my latest adventures, and they've gifted me with transformative insights that I’m excited to share with you this week on Journey to the Soul. Reflecting on the joys and introspections that these milestones bring, I invite you into my journey of embracing life's changes and the beautiful evolution of love. Returning to Tennessee's vibrant fall, I cherish the shift in my relationship with my partner, Kenny, and the profound lessons it has taught me about opening my heart and valuing vulnerability.
Ever wondered how your destiny can be guided by the stars? This episode uncovers the fascinating world of astrology, particularly focusing on the lunar nodes. My North Node in Libra and South Node in Aries represent my transition from independence to finding balance and partnership. Through my evolving relationship with Kenny, I illustrate the challenges and triumphs of moving from a self-reliant lifestyle to one that thrives on cooperation and mutual growth, proving that individuality can coexist within a nurturing relationship.
As we wrap up our soulful exploration, I encourage you to embrace life’s endless possibilities and open your heart to new experiences. By sharing my own story of love and vulnerability, I hope to inspire you to take the leap into the unknown, as the journey of love promises rewards that are both profound and life-changing. Stay connected with me on Instagram and share your insights from this episode. Let’s continue this journey of self-discovery and growth together, spreading positivity and light.
Generate your Astrology Chart HERE to discover your lunar nodes!
Interpret the meaning of your nodes HERE based off of what house and sign they are in.
Subscribe to my Substack HERE
Follow me on Instagram HERE
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, loves, welcome to the Journey to the Soul podcast
.
I am your host, jacinda Villa,a spiritual life coach and
holistic health coach.
Every week, we will be divingdeep into all things purpose,
wellness, spirituality andcreating the life that you dream
of.
This space is meant to be safeand transformative for you to
(00:26):
dive into the deepest parts ofyourself.
I will share what I havelearned from my journey along
this path years of research andmentors along the way.
Having spent many years livinglife out of alignment and afraid
to go after my dreams, I knowfirsthand what it means to take
the first step down, living alife authentic to you.
(00:47):
We are on this road ofself-discovery together.
It is time for you to live thelife you imagined.
Hi, everyone, welcome back toanother episode of Journey to
the Soul.
Another episode of Journey tothe Soul.
I am so excited to be here withyou this week.
(01:16):
It's been a couple of weekssince I actually recorded my
last podcast episode.
I was traveling abroad the lastcouple of weeks and I got
married, so the last eight weeksreally have been just so
fast-paced, with so many thingsgoing on, life happening, trying
to enjoy and be there to reallyexperience this
(01:37):
once-in-a-lifetime thing.
So I decided to take a littlehiatus in recording and just
really enjoy and savor themoment.
So I'm so excited to be backhome and to be recording this
for you today.
It's just been a wonderful lastcouple of weeks, but I am
(02:00):
really looking forward togetting back on track with
everything.
Especially when you're gone forthat much time, it feels like
sometimes you don't know how toget back in the swing of things.
So it's nice to get back intosome kind of routine and I have
so many episodes that I want torecord for you guys as well.
(02:23):
So that is what I'm lookingforward to, and also coming home
and Tennessee being in fullspring fall.
For anyone that's listening, Ilive in right outside of
Nashville, tennessee, and youreally do get to experience all
(02:45):
the seasons here, and it's beenso wonderful to come back home
and to see the world changingcolor, to feel the slight chill
in the air.
It's one of my favorite seasons, so it's so lovely to see it
come to life and really enjoy it.
(03:05):
Considering that we've been inwarmer climates the last couple
of weeks, it's funny to comehome and be like, oh, it's
actually getting cold here again, but nonetheless, today's
episode has actually beensomething that I have thought
(03:26):
about over the last couple ofweeks really leading up to me
getting married, which we gotmarried about a month ago.
So leading up to us gettingmarried, this was really weeks,
months.
Leading up to this, I had beenthinking about this particular
(03:46):
thing a lot, and that was myrelationship with my husband and
how that has evolved, and I'vejust I feel like you know,
sometimes when you'reapproaching a certain milestone
in life, you tend to look backat where you've been, how you've
(04:07):
grown, where you've come fromand all of these things.
I think it's only natural forus to do that.
So, leading up to our wedding,those weeks, those months really
, I had been thinking so muchabout our relationship and how
our relationship has evolved asa couple leading up to this
(04:29):
moment in time and how thisbecame possible.
You know us getting married andhow that was such a huge thing
for me in my life and that'swhat I wanted to touch on on
today's episode is how I openedmy heart up to my partner and
(04:53):
how hard that was for me to doso.
So, getting married andcommitting to do this life with
him and knowing the value thatthat brings into my life and the
richness that that brings intomy life.
It's been such a huge evolutionfrom how it started with us,
(05:16):
because that was really not howit started.
There was a lot of fears therefor me, a lot of other things
that I had to overcome in orderfor me to have the relationship
that I do with my partner now,and I'm going to introduce one
aspect of astrology that Iactually want to tie into this
(05:39):
episode, because I feel likeit's such an incredible thing to
have in mind, so that we knowhow to honor ourselves, but also
to know how we can really growand be all that we're meant to
be.
So today I'm gonna touch alittle bit on the lunar nodes in
(06:03):
astrology, and they are calledyour south node and your north
node is what we call them inwestern astrology, and your
north node essentially is yournorth star in this life.
It's your compass, it's thedirection that your soul is
(06:26):
going in for its highestevolvement, so it's also tied to
a zodiac sign.
So those qualities are what youare here to embody when it
comes to your north node, andyour south node in astrology is
what we come into in this lifebased off of our past lives.
(06:50):
So it's often related toconditioning we can have and
some people can feel veryconnected to their south node.
It's really something that'sfamiliar to most of us.
But in this life we are meantto step into our north node.
(07:11):
That is our purpose, that isour dharma, that's where we're
going in this lifetime.
So I love looking at the nodesfor us to kind of get a macro
idea of what our sole purpose isin this life, according to
(07:31):
astrology.
So studying your north andsouth node can really help you
with this.
The south node, like I mentioned, is really our comfort zone.
It's more taking in our pastlives if we believe in that.
Our south node comes withstrengths that we come into the
(07:52):
world with and these strengthscome from our past lives.
And this is why our south nodecan feel very comfortable,
because it is something that weare familiar with, we are good
at.
This is something that we cameinto the world with.
And the North Node it reallyjust depends on the person.
(08:14):
It can be very exciting, it canfeel intimidating, it can feel
very far-fetched and away fromwho you are in this moment in
time.
Maybe it's not something thatyou really embody in this moment
.
But regardless of that,according to astrology, our soul
(08:35):
chose this unique combinationof north and south node for us
and for our highest evolution.
So, even if it feelsuncomfortable or unfamiliar, I
really want to invite you, asthis episode goes on, to really
open your mind and lean intothat.
(08:57):
Sometimes, the north and southnode are also called the nodes
of faith, or the dragon hand andthe dragon tail, so there's a
lot of verbiage that you can usewhen referring to them.
If you know a little bit aboutastrology, perhaps you have
heard about them before.
(09:19):
If you have never heard aboutthem in astrology or are not
very well versed with Westernastrology, again, this is such a
great thing.
To start with, you know,outside of your sun sign, your
moon sign, your rising sign orthings like that, the nodes
(09:41):
really show us where we aregoing, so they're trying to
usher us towards our mostfulfilling path in this life.
They show us what skins we needto shed, and the south node
show us where we're coming fromand what we're bringing into
this life.
They are things that we'vealready mastered this life.
(10:05):
They are things that we'vealready mastered, and the North
Node, on the other hand,represents what you're growing
into.
It's your destiny and it's notalways easy to embrace.
Growth is uncomfortable becauseit requires us to change and to
do something differently thanwhat we're normally comfortable
(10:25):
with, but it is going to be themost fulfilling path for you if
you honor that and really allowyourself to move into that.
I am going to share with youguys how you can pull up your
North and South Node and whenyou do, I really encourage you
(10:47):
to read on your North Node andsee how you can integrate these
traits into your life, becauseit can really be something that
is so eye-opening andlife-changing for you to honor
these aspects.
I'll share where you can dothat later in the episode.
(11:08):
But to tie back into our story,I want to share with you my
North Node because it ties intothe rest of what we're going to
be talking about today, and myNorth Node is in Libra Libra and
(11:36):
finding this out for me wassuper, super eye-opening and it
made me more self-aware aboutwhere I was staying in my
comfort zone and not reallygrowing and expanding the way
that my soul intended.
So having my North Node inLibra means that my south node
is in Aries and your north nodeand south node in astrology are
really most of the time going tobe opposite signs.
(12:00):
So that also adds to it in thesense that whatever your south
node is, that comfort zone yournorth node is going to typically
be in the opposite sign andit's going to be something that
feels most of the time,unfamiliar, uncomfortable and
(12:22):
really rooted with a lot of fear.
So I have my south Node inAries and for me, my greatest
growth will come from close andpersonal partnerships.
So in the past I was a loneoperator and too selfish to work
(12:43):
with others.
Having a South Node in Aries isvery a let-me-do-it-myself
attitude, veryme-against-the-world attitude.
In this life I'm supposed to belearning how to compromise and
cooperate with others, how to bein partnership, how to have
(13:05):
balanced relationships that isthat Libra energy right how to
learn how to have my needs metbut also keep the needs of other
people in mind.
So this is my growth in thislife and going back to the story
(13:27):
about me and my partner and methinking about my evolution as a
person in order for us to havethe relationship that we do, I
was very much living and stillbeing in my south node in Aries
and that's what felt good andright to me, so it was extremely
(13:52):
uncomfortable for me to openmyself up to him.
I was so used to beingindependent.
I never asked for help, Iwanted to do everything by
myself.
I didn't trust other people andit was a very singular way of
looking at the world.
It was me against the world andnever allowing myself to lean
(14:16):
on anyone.
I know I've discussed this inother podcast episodes and I've
always felt like a very lonesoul.
You know the mentality ofhaving to do it all on my own,
of not being able to trustpeople being in a partnership,
so you can see how much of anevolution has come in order for
(14:56):
me to be in partnership.
There was a two-year gap betweenour first date and our second
date, and our first interactionhas always been something that
stayed in my mind.
That first date with him and Iwas always something that stayed
(15:20):
top of mind to me, and it wasbecause he felt so familiar to
me.
It was like we had known eachother forever.
Familiar to me, it was like wehad known each other forever.
I remember meeting him thatnight and sitting here talking
to this man that I had just met,about my dreams and visions
(15:41):
about life and hearing him talkand express his worldview as
well.
I am a super private person sothis for me was a big deal
because I don't open myself uplike that to anyone, even my
family.
I have always been a veryprivate person and I'm very
(16:06):
mindful about what I choose toshare with other people and I'm
very mindful about what I chooseto share with other people.
Speaking to him, it was thefirst time I felt like I didn't
have to make myself small tofeel understood and I could be
fully myself with him, andpreviously with all of my other
(16:27):
partners.
We were always on differentpages.
I was always afraid to go afterwhat I really wanted in life.
I always knew what I kind ofwanted out of life.
I always had more clarity thanthem and that was always.
A huge problem is that we oftenoutgrew each other because I
(16:49):
always wanted more out of lifeand I would often make myself
small to make them feelcomfortable.
And speaking with Kenny thatnight, I just knew, based off of
how he was speaking and how Iwas speaking to him, that this
(17:09):
was not someone that I needed tochange my viewpoint on life or
to change the way that I speakor try to conform in some way,
because he truly spoke the samelanguage as I did.
I always believed that I had togive up who I was in order to
(17:31):
be in a relationship.
I felt like it was either oneor the other, that you could not
have both, and I have now cometo learn that you can still be
your full self with someone andstill be independent over your
life while being in a committedrelationship.
(17:52):
You don't have to choose.
They both coexist and actuallyI believe it makes for a very
happy and healthy relationshipwhere you both have your
individual lives and interestsand friends, but you also have
(18:12):
the beautiful life that you arecreating together, so you can
still have autonomy over yourlife and be in partnership.
It doesn't have to be one or theother, and that two-year gap
between us having thisinteraction and then going on
(18:34):
our second date was reallysomething that I chose and I
felt like I really in my mindover those two years, it was
really me just simply fightingmy demons.
(18:57):
I was too afraid to open myheart to the possibility of what
could be with this man that Iknew was different.
That was something that Irealized that night that I spoke
to him, I knew he was different, and it was very hard for me to
work through my beliefs aboutmen as well, stemming from my
(19:19):
upbringing that all men areunfaithful and cheat and harm
women.
Therefore you cannot trust them, that you cannot rely on men.
There was some deep stuff here,and although that first
impression stayed ingrained inme, I still struggled to accept
(19:42):
that I would need to change inorder to let him into my life,
and these were parts of myselfthat I had never needed to face
nor wanted to face.
But I knew that if I was goingto let him in, I was going to
need to face them, and there'sso many layers to all of this.
(20:07):
I do believe, looking back now,that a part of me didn't believe
that I deserved someone likehim as well.
Outside of feeling like wespoke the same language and like
we had been friends in otherlifetimes, there was also just
the part that he was a goodperson, a kind person, and that
(20:31):
radiated from him, and also thathe was someone who was living
life in a way that I had neverseen before, and we come from
such different backgrounds andupbringings, and I didn't see my
intrinsic worth then.
I still had little to noself-love for myself.
(20:54):
I didn't understand myintrinsic worth just being alive
, just being here and what Ibrought to the world.
So I do believe there was someself-sabotage there as well.
So during this time this isreally the work that happened
and I got back from a tripabroad with my family and
(21:18):
finally made the decision that Iwas just going to take the
risks that.
I had gone through this in myhead so many times over the last
two years, many times over thelast two years, and I was
(21:38):
beating a dead horse and I knewthat if it wasn't now, then when
was it going to be?
And in my head it still feltlike now was not a good time.
There was so many things goingon in my life.
I was still relatively new toTennessee.
I had only moved three yearsago.
I felt like I was still gettingmy bearings in life.
(21:59):
I was working like crazy.
I was caring for my mom, whowas living with me at the time
and needed around the clockattention.
So for me, trying to createspace for this person was also a
huge thing.
It's like how do I even fit himinto my life?
(22:21):
You know now's not a good time,maybe later when I have more
time or, you know, I have moreflexibility with work or this or
that.
There were so many things thatI kept telling myself.
But getting back from this tripabroad, I came back with a
(22:41):
completely different perspective, and this was the first time I
had traveled to Italy.
I had actually just startedtraveling.
It was only my secondinternational trip of my life
and it was July of 2019, and myfirst trip abroad was in 2018,
(23:04):
so I really had only startedtraveling and I knew that I
always wanted to travel in mylife, but I kept putting it on
the back burner.
I was so focused on surviving.
So things like this pleasureyou know it was not something
(23:24):
that was just a priority at thatmoment in time.
But coming back from this trip,traveling in general, traveling
and I am making an episode onthis discovering new places in
the world opens you up to lifein a whole other way.
(23:46):
Every time I travel, I amconstantly being expanded in
some way.
My worldview is constantlychanging.
So I just came back with a freshperspective, a new version of
reality, and my husband loves totravel and he always seemed to
(24:10):
be somewhere when I spoke to himor when we exchanged texts is I
knew that he loved to adventureand discover the world and that
was a big part of his life andhas been.
And I was thinking while I wason this trip about how
incredible it would be to have apartner to do this with.
And he lived so differentlythan I did, but it was in a way
(24:35):
that my soul yearned for.
He really lived lifedifferently than anyone around
me.
He lived a life of freedom, ofadventure, lived on his own
terms and really got toexperience life in the most
beautiful way.
And I got back from this tripand I decided that I was willing
(24:58):
to take the risk, to openmyself up to him, to choose what
I knew could be somethingincredible for the both of us to
make decisions based off of thelife I wanted.
Make decisions based off of thelife I wanted, not my fears,
(25:19):
and I am so, so happy that I did, because my life has changed in
the most beautiful way.
Like most relationships, we allhear it that it's not a walk in
the park.
Anything worth having in thislife takes work and devotion to
it, and I had to get reallyuncomfortable to let him in and
(25:42):
because of that, we grew veryquickly.
I knew that if I wanted to makethis relationship work, I was
going to learn how to let him in, something that I had never
done fully with anyone.
My mindset, of course, hasslowly changed about what it
(26:02):
means to let someone in, what itmeans to be in a partnership,
learning to balance my desireswith those of the most difficult
(26:37):
things for me to do in my life,and our relationship has truly
been one of the greatestteachers in my life.
But it's what I am meant tolean into in this life.
So, even when it'suncomfortable, I lean in,
because this is how I am meantto grow in this life.
(26:57):
Knowing this information atthis time, even if it came a few
years later from when I choseto let him in, has been a huge
expander for me.
So I really encourage you,after this episode, to pull up
(27:18):
your astrology chart and to seewhat your north and south node
are.
It will give you an incredibleidea of how you are meant to
grow and evolve as a soul inthis life.
How you are meant to grow andevolve as a soul in this life.
You can learn and understandyour strengths, but also where
(27:40):
you are meant to go and stepinto.
We don't need to fight theseaspects of ourselves.
In the show notes I am going tolink where you can pull up your
astrology chart.
Where you can pull up yourastrology chart as well as a
brief summary of each north andsouth node.
It's on Cafe Astrology'swebsite, so I will link it below
(28:01):
for you, that way you can readup on your nodes.
We have shared this beautifullife as a couple for over five
years and we just started ourchapter as husband and wife, and
I think back to those fiveyears and all we have done, all
we have experienced.
(28:22):
There have been so many tryingtimes.
With each one that passes, Ihave just been more and more
certain that this is the personthat is intended for me.
There have been so many stormsthat we have weathered and I
(28:43):
simply fall more deeply in lovewith him each time because there
is no one else I would ratherdo life with.
That becomes clear as timecontinues to pass.
I can see the value in the usversus me now, the going at it
(29:03):
together versus alone, of havingsomeone to rely on and ask for
help, and it's really been aboutlearning to balance my very
independent spirit, with theconnection I have to others,
finding harmony and balance.
This is my karma in this life.
(29:24):
He opened me up to that.
He has shown me the value ofwhat it means to be in a
committed partnership, where youare devoted to one another, to
walk together.
This is something that he grewup in, so it was very familiar
to him, but for me, growing upalmost in the exact opposite, it
(29:49):
was very hard for me to openmyself up to this.
It wasn't something that Ireally thought was possible.
I didn't know what a healthy,committed partnership was.
He's also shown me how havingpeople in your life to share it
with is something that isinvaluable, and I really didn't
(30:11):
value that before.
I was a lone soul and it waswhat I believe was the best
thing for me.
I felt like investing energyinto people wasn't something
that I believe was the right useof energy.
Again and this was all bychoice I always felt that I had
(30:33):
to work towards my goals anddreams, and it was better to do
it alone than with others, andit was because I knew what I
could do, that I could count onmyself, and investing time in
friends or partners, or reallyany relationship was not a good
(30:53):
use of my time.
My greatest lesson from this hasbeen to not shy away from love,
to lean into it.
It is so worth it.
It is a vulnerable and scarything to open yourself up to
other people, to not want to gethurt, but if you allow yourself
(31:19):
, you will discover that it isone of the most amazing things
that we get to experience inthis life.
It is to love another with ourwhole being, and I wouldn't
trade it for the world.
Timing, I do believe, iseverything, especially when it
(31:39):
comes to our story, because Ifeel like that time between our
first date and us reconnectingwas so necessary for me and as
well as him, and we talk aboutit now as a couple.
(32:00):
If we would have pushed it towork the first time around, if
it would have really happened,if it would have worked and I
honestly don't think it wouldhave I don't think our
relationship would have survived, because I needed to get to a
certain place in order to becommitted and commit myself to
(32:22):
this relationship, and he alsohad to go through an evolution
within himself.
I meant to record this episodebefore we left as well, and it
didn't happen, but I believe itall happens for a reason, and I
have been reflecting on this somuch while we've been abroad
(32:43):
with friends, family, leading upto our wedding, being at the
retreat that I just was in Dubaiwith a group of girls
discussing relationships andfemininity and all that
wonderful stuff.
I've actually talked about thismore in the last few weeks than
ever before and I realize, andhave always known, that Kenny
(33:08):
and I have a very strong loveand connection, that our
relationship and how we chooseto live does constantly expand
those around us.
I've always known that.
It inspires me all the time,and I know that not everyone
gets to experience a love likethis in their life.
(33:30):
They have walls and don't allowthemselves to do so.
The risk is not worth thereward to them.
Our love and devotion to eachother still takes my breath away
.
When we got married a few weeksago, I was thinking of how much
(33:52):
my love for him has grown sincewe have shared life together,
how it has only deepened, andyou can only love someone as
deeply as you love yourself.
The more one learns to lovethemselves, the more they learn
(34:12):
to love another.
For those of you who still tryto keep their hearts closed off
to love.
I hope this episode inspiresyou to see that it is one of the
surest risks in life that isworth taking.
And don't we all ultimatelyjust want to be loved and be
(34:37):
cherished, to feel like we arespecial in the eye of someone we
love?
This exists.
This is possible.
Take the chance and open yourheart.
I will talk to you all nextweek.
I'm sending you so much loveand light.
Until then, I hope you enjoyedthis episode.
(35:04):
Please make sure you subscribeso you never miss an episode,
and share this message with anyfriends and family.
I'd love to hear your takeaways, so share them with me by
leaving a comment below orheading over to my Instagram at
Jacinda Marie.
I am sending you all so muchlove.
Hi, loves, welcome to the Journey to the Soul podcast
.
I am your host, jacinda Villa,a spiritual life coach and
holistic health coach.
Every week, we will be divingdeep into all things purpose,
wellness, spirituality andcreating the life that you dream
of.
This space is meant to be safeand transformative for you to
(00:26):
dive into the deepest parts ofyourself.
I will share what I havelearned from my journey along
this path years of research andmentors along the way.
Having spent many years livinglife out of alignment and afraid
to go after my dreams, I knowfirsthand what it means to take
the first step down, living alife authentic to you.
(00:47):
We are on this road ofself-discovery together.
It is time for you to live thelife you imagined.
Hi, everyone, welcome back toanother episode of Journey to
the Soul.
Another episode of Journey tothe Soul.
I am so excited to be here withyou this week.
(01:16):
It's been a couple of weekssince I actually recorded my
last podcast episode.
I was traveling abroad the lastcouple of weeks and I got
married, so the last eight weeksreally have been just so
fast-paced, with so many thingsgoing on, life happening, trying
to enjoy and be there to reallyexperience this
(01:37):
once-in-a-lifetime thing.
So I decided to take a littlehiatus in recording and just
really enjoy and savor themoment.
So I'm so excited to be backhome and to be recording this
for you today.
It's just been a wonderful lastcouple of weeks, but I am
(02:00):
really looking forward togetting back on track with
everything.
Especially when you're gone forthat much time, it feels like
sometimes you don't know how toget back in the swing of things.
So it's nice to get back intosome kind of routine and I have
so many episodes that I want torecord for you guys as well.
(02:23):
So that is what I'm lookingforward to, and also coming home
and Tennessee being in fullspring fall.
For anyone that's listening, Ilive in right outside of
Nashville, tennessee, and youreally do get to experience all
(02:45):
the seasons here, and it's beenso wonderful to come back home
and to see the world changingcolor, to feel the slight chill
in the air.
It's one of my favorite seasons, so it's so lovely to see it
come to life and really enjoy it.
(03:05):
Considering that we've been inwarmer climates the last couple
of weeks, it's funny to comehome and be like, oh, it's
actually getting cold here again, but nonetheless, today's
episode has actually beensomething that I have thought
(03:26):
about over the last couple ofweeks really leading up to me
getting married, which we gotmarried about a month ago.
So leading up to us gettingmarried, this was really weeks,
months.
Leading up to this, I had beenthinking about this particular
(03:46):
thing a lot, and that was myrelationship with my husband and
how that has evolved, and I'vejust I feel like you know,
sometimes when you'reapproaching a certain milestone
in life, you tend to look backat where you've been, how you've
(04:07):
grown, where you've come fromand all of these things.
I think it's only natural forus to do that.
So, leading up to our wedding,those weeks, those months really
, I had been thinking so muchabout our relationship and how
our relationship has evolved asa couple leading up to this
(04:29):
moment in time and how thisbecame possible.
You know us getting married andhow that was such a huge thing
for me in my life and that'swhat I wanted to touch on on
today's episode is how I openedmy heart up to my partner and
(04:53):
how hard that was for me to doso.
So, getting married andcommitting to do this life with
him and knowing the value thatthat brings into my life and the
richness that that brings intomy life.
It's been such a huge evolutionfrom how it started with us,
(05:16):
because that was really not howit started.
There was a lot of fears therefor me, a lot of other things
that I had to overcome in orderfor me to have the relationship
that I do with my partner now,and I'm going to introduce one
aspect of astrology that Iactually want to tie into this
(05:39):
episode, because I feel likeit's such an incredible thing to
have in mind, so that we knowhow to honor ourselves, but also
to know how we can really growand be all that we're meant to
be.
So today I'm gonna touch alittle bit on the lunar nodes in
(06:03):
astrology, and they are calledyour south node and your north
node is what we call them inwestern astrology, and your
north node essentially is yournorth star in this life.
It's your compass, it's thedirection that your soul is
(06:26):
going in for its highestevolvement, so it's also tied to
a zodiac sign.
So those qualities are what youare here to embody when it
comes to your north node, andyour south node in astrology is
what we come into in this lifebased off of our past lives.
(06:50):
So it's often related toconditioning we can have and
some people can feel veryconnected to their south node.
It's really something that'sfamiliar to most of us.
But in this life we are meantto step into our north node.
(07:11):
That is our purpose, that isour dharma, that's where we're
going in this lifetime.
So I love looking at the nodesfor us to kind of get a macro
idea of what our sole purpose isin this life, according to
(07:31):
astrology.
So studying your north andsouth node can really help you
with this.
The south node, like I mentioned, is really our comfort zone.
It's more taking in our pastlives if we believe in that.
Our south node comes withstrengths that we come into the
(07:52):
world with and these strengthscome from our past lives.
And this is why our south nodecan feel very comfortable,
because it is something that weare familiar with, we are good
at.
This is something that we cameinto the world with.
And the North Node it reallyjust depends on the person.
(08:14):
It can be very exciting, it canfeel intimidating, it can feel
very far-fetched and away fromwho you are in this moment in
time.
Maybe it's not something thatyou really embody in this moment
.
But regardless of that,according to astrology, our soul
(08:35):
chose this unique combinationof north and south node for us
and for our highest evolution.
So, even if it feelsuncomfortable or unfamiliar, I
really want to invite you, asthis episode goes on, to really
open your mind and lean intothat.
(08:57):
Sometimes, the north and southnode are also called the nodes
of faith, or the dragon hand andthe dragon tail, so there's a
lot of verbiage that you can usewhen referring to them.
If you know a little bit aboutastrology, perhaps you have
heard about them before.
(09:19):
If you have never heard aboutthem in astrology or are not
very well versed with Westernastrology, again, this is such a
great thing.
To start with, you know,outside of your sun sign, your
moon sign, your rising sign orthings like that, the nodes
(09:41):
really show us where we aregoing, so they're trying to
usher us towards our mostfulfilling path in this life.
They show us what skins we needto shed, and the south node
show us where we're coming fromand what we're bringing into
this life.
They are things that we'vealready mastered this life.
(10:05):
They are things that we'vealready mastered, and the North
Node, on the other hand,represents what you're growing
into.
It's your destiny and it's notalways easy to embrace.
Growth is uncomfortable becauseit requires us to change and to
do something differently thanwhat we're normally comfortable
(10:25):
with, but it is going to be themost fulfilling path for you if
you honor that and really allowyourself to move into that.
I am going to share with youguys how you can pull up your
North and South Node and whenyou do, I really encourage you
(10:47):
to read on your North Node andsee how you can integrate these
traits into your life, becauseit can really be something that
is so eye-opening andlife-changing for you to honor
these aspects.
I'll share where you can dothat later in the episode.
(11:08):
But to tie back into our story,I want to share with you my
North Node because it ties intothe rest of what we're going to
be talking about today, and myNorth Node is in Libra Libra and
(11:36):
finding this out for me wassuper, super eye-opening and it
made me more self-aware aboutwhere I was staying in my
comfort zone and not reallygrowing and expanding the way
that my soul intended.
So having my North Node inLibra means that my south node
is in Aries and your north nodeand south node in astrology are
really most of the time going tobe opposite signs.
(12:00):
So that also adds to it in thesense that whatever your south
node is, that comfort zone yournorth node is going to typically
be in the opposite sign andit's going to be something that
feels most of the time,unfamiliar, uncomfortable and
(12:22):
really rooted with a lot of fear.
So I have my south Node inAries and for me, my greatest
growth will come from close andpersonal partnerships.
So in the past I was a loneoperator and too selfish to work
(12:43):
with others.
Having a South Node in Aries isvery a let-me-do-it-myself
attitude, veryme-against-the-world attitude.
In this life I'm supposed to belearning how to compromise and
cooperate with others, how to bein partnership, how to have
(13:05):
balanced relationships that isthat Libra energy right how to
learn how to have my needs metbut also keep the needs of other
people in mind.
So this is my growth in thislife and going back to the story
(13:27):
about me and my partner and methinking about my evolution as a
person in order for us to havethe relationship that we do, I
was very much living and stillbeing in my south node in Aries
and that's what felt good andright to me, so it was extremely
(13:52):
uncomfortable for me to openmyself up to him.
I was so used to beingindependent.
I never asked for help, Iwanted to do everything by
myself.
I didn't trust other people andit was a very singular way of
looking at the world.
It was me against the world andnever allowing myself to lean
(14:16):
on anyone.
I know I've discussed this inother podcast episodes and I've
always felt like a very lonesoul.
You know the mentality ofhaving to do it all on my own,
of not being able to trustpeople being in a partnership,
so you can see how much of anevolution has come in order for
(14:56):
me to be in partnership.
There was a two-year gap betweenour first date and our second
date, and our first interactionhas always been something that
stayed in my mind.
That first date with him and Iwas always something that stayed
(15:20):
top of mind to me, and it wasbecause he felt so familiar to
me.
It was like we had known eachother forever.
Familiar to me, it was like wehad known each other forever.
I remember meeting him thatnight and sitting here talking
to this man that I had just met,about my dreams and visions
(15:41):
about life and hearing him talkand express his worldview as
well.
I am a super private person sothis for me was a big deal
because I don't open myself uplike that to anyone, even my
family.
I have always been a veryprivate person and I'm very
(16:06):
mindful about what I choose toshare with other people and I'm
very mindful about what I chooseto share with other people.
Speaking to him, it was thefirst time I felt like I didn't
have to make myself small tofeel understood and I could be
fully myself with him, andpreviously with all of my other
(16:27):
partners.
We were always on differentpages.
I was always afraid to go afterwhat I really wanted in life.
I always knew what I kind ofwanted out of life.
I always had more clarity thanthem and that was always.
A huge problem is that we oftenoutgrew each other because I
(16:49):
always wanted more out of lifeand I would often make myself
small to make them feelcomfortable.
And speaking with Kenny thatnight, I just knew, based off of
how he was speaking and how Iwas speaking to him, that this
(17:09):
was not someone that I needed tochange my viewpoint on life or
to change the way that I speakor try to conform in some way,
because he truly spoke the samelanguage as I did.
I always believed that I had togive up who I was in order to
(17:31):
be in a relationship.
I felt like it was either oneor the other, that you could not
have both, and I have now cometo learn that you can still be
your full self with someone andstill be independent over your
life while being in a committedrelationship.
(17:52):
You don't have to choose.
They both coexist and actuallyI believe it makes for a very
happy and healthy relationshipwhere you both have your
individual lives and interestsand friends, but you also have
(18:12):
the beautiful life that you arecreating together, so you can
still have autonomy over yourlife and be in partnership.
It doesn't have to be one or theother, and that two-year gap
between us having thisinteraction and then going on
(18:34):
our second date was reallysomething that I chose and I
felt like I really in my mindover those two years, it was
really me just simply fightingmy demons.
(18:57):
I was too afraid to open myheart to the possibility of what
could be with this man that Iknew was different.
That was something that Irealized that night that I spoke
to him, I knew he was different, and it was very hard for me to
work through my beliefs aboutmen as well, stemming from my
(19:19):
upbringing that all men areunfaithful and cheat and harm
women.
Therefore you cannot trust them, that you cannot rely on men.
There was some deep stuff here,and although that first
impression stayed ingrained inme, I still struggled to accept
(19:42):
that I would need to change inorder to let him into my life,
and these were parts of myselfthat I had never needed to face
nor wanted to face.
But I knew that if I was goingto let him in, I was going to
need to face them, and there'sso many layers to all of this.
(20:07):
I do believe, looking back now,that a part of me didn't believe
that I deserved someone likehim as well.
Outside of feeling like wespoke the same language and like
we had been friends in otherlifetimes, there was also just
the part that he was a goodperson, a kind person, and that
(20:31):
radiated from him, and also thathe was someone who was living
life in a way that I had neverseen before, and we come from
such different backgrounds andupbringings, and I didn't see my
intrinsic worth then.
I still had little to noself-love for myself.
(20:54):
I didn't understand myintrinsic worth just being alive
, just being here and what Ibrought to the world.
So I do believe there was someself-sabotage there as well.
So during this time this isreally the work that happened
and I got back from a tripabroad with my family and
(21:18):
finally made the decision that Iwas just going to take the
risks that.
I had gone through this in myhead so many times over the last
two years, many times over thelast two years, and I was
(21:38):
beating a dead horse and I knewthat if it wasn't now, then when
was it going to be?
And in my head it still feltlike now was not a good time.
There was so many things goingon in my life.
I was still relatively new toTennessee.
I had only moved three yearsago.
I felt like I was still gettingmy bearings in life.
(21:59):
I was working like crazy.
I was caring for my mom, whowas living with me at the time
and needed around the clockattention.
So for me, trying to createspace for this person was also a
huge thing.
It's like how do I even fit himinto my life?
(22:21):
You know now's not a good time,maybe later when I have more
time or, you know, I have moreflexibility with work or this or
that.
There were so many things thatI kept telling myself.
But getting back from this tripabroad, I came back with a
(22:41):
completely different perspective, and this was the first time I
had traveled to Italy.
I had actually just startedtraveling.
It was only my secondinternational trip of my life
and it was July of 2019, and myfirst trip abroad was in 2018,
(23:04):
so I really had only startedtraveling and I knew that I
always wanted to travel in mylife, but I kept putting it on
the back burner.
I was so focused on surviving.
So things like this pleasureyou know it was not something
(23:24):
that was just a priority at thatmoment in time.
But coming back from this trip,traveling in general, traveling
and I am making an episode onthis discovering new places in
the world opens you up to lifein a whole other way.
(23:46):
Every time I travel, I amconstantly being expanded in
some way.
My worldview is constantlychanging.
So I just came back with a freshperspective, a new version of
reality, and my husband loves totravel and he always seemed to
(24:10):
be somewhere when I spoke to himor when we exchanged texts is I
knew that he loved to adventureand discover the world and that
was a big part of his life andhas been.
And I was thinking while I wason this trip about how
incredible it would be to have apartner to do this with.
And he lived so differentlythan I did, but it was in a way
(24:35):
that my soul yearned for.
He really lived lifedifferently than anyone around
me.
He lived a life of freedom, ofadventure, lived on his own
terms and really got toexperience life in the most
beautiful way.
And I got back from this tripand I decided that I was willing
(24:58):
to take the risk, to openmyself up to him, to choose what
I knew could be somethingincredible for the both of us to
make decisions based off of thelife I wanted.
Make decisions based off of thelife I wanted, not my fears,
(25:19):
and I am so, so happy that I did, because my life has changed in
the most beautiful way.
Like most relationships, we allhear it that it's not a walk in
the park.
Anything worth having in thislife takes work and devotion to
it, and I had to get reallyuncomfortable to let him in and
(25:42):
because of that, we grew veryquickly.
I knew that if I wanted to makethis relationship work, I was
going to learn how to let him in, something that I had never
done fully with anyone.
My mindset, of course, hasslowly changed about what it
(26:02):
means to let someone in, what itmeans to be in a partnership,
learning to balance my desireswith those of the most difficult
(26:37):
things for me to do in my life,and our relationship has truly
been one of the greatestteachers in my life.
But it's what I am meant tolean into in this life.
So, even when it'suncomfortable, I lean in,
because this is how I am meantto grow in this life.
(26:57):
Knowing this information atthis time, even if it came a few
years later from when I choseto let him in, has been a huge
expander for me.
So I really encourage you,after this episode, to pull up
(27:18):
your astrology chart and to seewhat your north and south node
are.
It will give you an incredibleidea of how you are meant to
grow and evolve as a soul inthis life.
How you are meant to grow andevolve as a soul in this life.
You can learn and understandyour strengths, but also where
(27:40):
you are meant to go and stepinto.
We don't need to fight theseaspects of ourselves.
In the show notes I am going tolink where you can pull up your
astrology chart.
Where you can pull up yourastrology chart as well as a
brief summary of each north andsouth node.
It's on Cafe Astrology'swebsite, so I will link it below
(28:01):
for you, that way you can readup on your nodes.
We have shared this beautifullife as a couple for over five
years and we just started ourchapter as husband and wife, and
I think back to those fiveyears and all we have done, all
we have experienced.
(28:22):
There have been so many tryingtimes.
With each one that passes, Ihave just been more and more
certain that this is the personthat is intended for me.
There have been so many stormsthat we have weathered and I
(28:43):
simply fall more deeply in lovewith him each time because there
is no one else I would ratherdo life with.
That becomes clear as timecontinues to pass.
I can see the value in the usversus me now, the going at it
(29:03):
together versus alone, of havingsomeone to rely on and ask for
help, and it's really been aboutlearning to balance my very
independent spirit, with theconnection I have to others,
finding harmony and balance.
This is my karma in this life.
(29:24):
He opened me up to that.
He has shown me the value ofwhat it means to be in a
committed partnership, where youare devoted to one another, to
walk together.
This is something that he grewup in, so it was very familiar
to him, but for me, growing upalmost in the exact opposite, it
(29:49):
was very hard for me to openmyself up to this.
It wasn't something that Ireally thought was possible.
I didn't know what a healthy,committed partnership was.
He's also shown me how havingpeople in your life to share it
with is something that isinvaluable, and I really didn't
(30:11):
value that before.
I was a lone soul and it waswhat I believe was the best
thing for me.
I felt like investing energyinto people wasn't something
that I believe was the right useof energy.
Again and this was all bychoice I always felt that I had
(30:33):
to work towards my goals anddreams, and it was better to do
it alone than with others, andit was because I knew what I
could do, that I could count onmyself, and investing time in
friends or partners, or reallyany relationship was not a good
(30:53):
use of my time.
My greatest lesson from this hasbeen to not shy away from love,
to lean into it.
It is so worth it.
It is a vulnerable and scarything to open yourself up to
other people, to not want to gethurt, but if you allow yourself
(31:19):
, you will discover that it isone of the most amazing things
that we get to experience inthis life.
It is to love another with ourwhole being, and I wouldn't
trade it for the world.
Timing, I do believe, iseverything, especially when it
(31:39):
comes to our story, because Ifeel like that time between our
first date and us reconnectingwas so necessary for me and as
well as him, and we talk aboutit now as a couple.
(32:00):
If we would have pushed it towork the first time around, if
it would have really happened,if it would have worked and I
honestly don't think it wouldhave I don't think our
relationship would have survived, because I needed to get to a
certain place in order to becommitted and commit myself to
(32:22):
this relationship, and he alsohad to go through an evolution
within himself.
I meant to record this episodebefore we left as well, and it
didn't happen, but I believe itall happens for a reason, and I
have been reflecting on this somuch while we've been abroad
(32:43):
with friends, family, leading upto our wedding, being at the
retreat that I just was in Dubaiwith a group of girls
discussing relationships andfemininity and all that
wonderful stuff.
I've actually talked about thismore in the last few weeks than
ever before and I realize, andhave always known, that Kenny
(33:08):
and I have a very strong loveand connection, that our
relationship and how we chooseto live does constantly expand
those around us.
I've always known that.
It inspires me all the time,and I know that not everyone
gets to experience a love likethis in their life.
(33:30):
They have walls and don't allowthemselves to do so.
The risk is not worth thereward to them.
Our love and devotion to eachother still takes my breath away
.
When we got married a few weeksago, I was thinking of how much
(33:52):
my love for him has grown sincewe have shared life together,
how it has only deepened, andyou can only love someone as
deeply as you love yourself.
The more one learns to lovethemselves, the more they learn
(34:12):
to love another.
For those of you who still tryto keep their hearts closed off
to love.
I hope this episode inspiresyou to see that it is one of the
surest risks in life that isworth taking.
And don't we all ultimatelyjust want to be loved and be
(34:37):
cherished, to feel like we arespecial in the eye of someone we
love?
This exists.
This is possible.
Take the chance and open yourheart.
I will talk to you all nextweek.
I'm sending you so much loveand light.
Until then, I hope you enjoyedthis episode.
(35:04):
Please make sure you subscribeso you never miss an episode,
and share this message with anyfriends and family.
I'd love to hear your takeaways, so share them with me by
leaving a comment below orheading over to my Instagram at
Jacinda Marie.
I am sending you all so muchlove.
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