Real Lives Of Tour Wives with Fallon Nolan & Danni Enzor

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 11 (00:00):
Telling our stories is the connective tissue of the
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(00:21):
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(00:46):
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Speaker (01:42):
Hi, I'm Danni Enzor, honorary tour wife of Kevin
Nolan, Lainey Wilson's utility and

Speaker 2 (01:47):
lead guitar player.
Hey, I am Fallon Nolan, wifeof Matt Nolan Lainey's drummer,

Speaker 3 (01:52):
and my name is Larry Florman.
You know me as Brother Love the wife andhusband of Sarah Tomek, touring musician.
Thanks for tuning into theJust Keep Talking podcast, Real
Lives of Tour Wives edition.
So where do we begin?
We begin with the fact that mywife just got home from tour.
She has been on the road with AndyBell from a band called Erasure,

(02:13):
which was a huge, huge band, backin the eighties and the nineties,
gooey pop synth, beautiful hit songsthat if you heard them folks, you'd
say, oh my gosh, I know this music.
It's kind of in the DepecheMode realm of things.
And I guess you wouldcall him a legacy act.
He has a, solo album and they'vebeen on tour pretty much for the

(02:37):
better part of this entire year.
Okay.
So we are now almost in July.
My wife had just come home fromtour and it's not easy, right?

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Not a time.
Yeah.
It can get hard.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
It can get hard.
So I looked at the calendar andLainey Wilson has tour dates.
Your guys just left last night.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Yes, correct.
So they're like infestival mode right now.

Speaker (03:01):
Yeah.
This summer has been very differentthan past summers and even past years.
They've been almost off for six months.
Yeah.
Now, which is

Speaker 2 (03:09):
crazy.
Just one-off shows.
So right now they're doing onefestival a weekend for the summer.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
So it's not been that bad.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Alright.
So Fallon, you've beenwith Matt for how long now?

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Um, let's see, August will be eight years.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Congratulations.
And you just got married?

Speaker 2 (03:24):
We just got married in April.
So a few months in.
But feels no different.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
It feels no different.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yeah.
It feels like we'vebeen married for years.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Right.
And that's in a good way you'resaying that with a big smile.
Oh yeah, of course.
Which is wonderful.
Yes, of course.
And you're newlywed, soeverything is a smile.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Of course.
What

Speaker 3 (03:39):
do you do for a living?

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Oh goodness.
So I have been in dentistryfor about 21 years.
I was 20 years old when I started.
So Giving you my age, I guess.
Yeah.
Um, about five or six years ago, I wentback to get my aesthetics license so
that I could do something along the side.
'cause I have been burned outfor many years in dentistry.
I'm still in dentistry of some sort.

(04:01):
I work for a clinic, we make oralsleep devices to treat sleep apnea.
So I'm still in the dentalworld, but not all the way.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
So you're not in the music industry at all.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Oh goodness.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
No entertainment.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
You would not wanna hear me sing and I cannot play an instrument.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, which is fine.
Fair enough.
Danni Enzor.
Hello.

Speaker (04:21):
Hello.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
You have been with Kevin Nolan for how long?

Speaker (04:24):
So our six year anniversary is actually coming up in a couple weeks.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Happy anniversary.
Thank

Speaker (04:28):
you.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
That's fantastic.
And you, what do you do for a living?

Speaker (04:31):
So, kind of a little bit of everything now.
I've had a pretty long standingcareer in accounting and finance,
very traditional corporate background.
I left a little less than a year ago.
I started school tobecome a nail technician.
I'm done with school now,so I'm fully practicing.
I also nanny, for a good friend of mine.
And kind of do a little bit of everything.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Right.
So you are not in theentertainment world at all?
Not at

Speaker (04:51):
all.
Not at all.
I grew up being forced to playpiano and take voice lessons.
But it was not my calling.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Right.
So when you guys.
Started dating your significantothers, and they were just coming up.
So they, at the time, neitherof them were with Lainey Wilson,
which is a really big gig.
So you've been around and I'veknown Matt and Kevin Nolan.
Just a little background.
I've known them sincethey came to Nashville.

Speaker (05:14):
Longer than both of us.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah.
And we've played music together.
We have toured, I mean, these guys arethe most standup guys I've ever known.
And I'm not just saying thatbecause you're here with me right
now, but Matt Nolan on drums.
Kevin Nolan, who's played guitar, bass,every other instrument, we've played
a lot of music together, we've writtensongs, we've toured, like these are
the guys that are like, Hey, we havea gig in San Francisco on Saturday.

(05:39):
It's Monday, and then thefollowing Saturday we have
a gig in Atlanta, Georgia.
Where are you guys down to get in our busand drive across the country all the way
and to San Francisco and then come allthe way back and then go over to Atlanta
and come back and they, said, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Was this in the Buzz-A-Bus?

Speaker 3 (05:56):
This was in the Buzz-A-Bus . Yeah, the bus that Them Vibes RIP.
Yeah.
Well, the, the Buzz-A-Buslives in my driveway right now.
We are looking to sell the Buzz-A-Busbecause we're not using it, but
they're the most standup guys andthey truly are the sweetest people.
I know their parents, asyou both know their parents.
Yes.
And I've always been so appreciativeof getting a phone call.

(06:17):
Matt will call me and we'll,touch base for a long time.
I'll get in touch with KevinThey're very mindful people.
The gigs that they have right now,being with Lainey Wilson couldn't
have happened to better people.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
I agree.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Absolutely.
So let's take it back alittle bit before that though.
Okay.
So, Fallon, you've beenwith Matt for a long time.
What was it like?
What was life like?
If you can sort of go back a littlebit before they were always on tour.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Oh, goodness.
So I lived in, Muscle Shoals.
Mm-hmm.
At the time we met, that's how we met.
He was down there recording, with afriend of ours actually that I met
before I met Matt, Brandon Whyde.
So I just met him hanging out withhim with some mutual friends and
Matt came around recording with him.
And so that's how we met.
At that time I think he was justfinishing up with the Morrison brothers.

(07:02):
Mm-hmm.
I think they had one show left and Iactually got to, that's the one and only
show I saw him play with the Morrisonbrothers and, we were just back and forth.
Florence, Nashville.
Matt would kill me for sayingthis, but this was at the darker
days, the struggling musician days.
Yeah.
I was there for the dark, dark days.
But, like you said, he's just alwaysbeen such an amazing sweetheart.

(07:23):
So.
Even then it was still good.
Yeah.
And fun.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Yeah.
And so, there was a timethat there were dark days.
Matt was painting houses for awhile and gigging and doing all
the things that a musician does.
Danni, Kevin was hustling and hewas teaching and playing gigs.
What was it like sort of back beforethe Lainey days, the darker, the
leaner years, we'll call them.

Speaker (07:43):
It's funny when I think back, and me and Kevin laugh about this, because
when we officially started dating, Ithink within weeks he took off on a
gig and was gone for a week or two.
There was one day he got off thebus at maybe 11 in the morning.
I went over, we watched the MuscleShoals documentary, and then he left
that afternoon to get back on the bus.
So the first probably six months of ourrelationship, he would be gone for a

(08:06):
month at a time or two weeks at a time.
And that was pretty normal.
I always joke, it's not ajoke, that I kind of thrive in
a long distance relationship.
So I, that kind of balance works for me.
I'm a busy girl, that type.
I was in a very traditionalcorporate career, so a very
structured Monday to Friday whenI was free, he typically wasn't.
We made it work.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah.

Speaker (08:25):
So I'm fine.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah.
That's amazing.
So I've been on and offtouring for years as well.
I'm the odd person out here.
I'm the odd tour wife out here.
Because I am a musician and I have avery different, career than my wife
because I chose to be an artist.
Being an artist is way differentthan working for somebody, like the
way my wife works for other artists.
Your guys work for other artistsand it's still the same stress.

(08:49):
Do I have work this year?
Do I have work this week?
Do I have work tomorrow?
And it's a lot of stress.
Now your guys, live through thesestressful times and then one day.
One day after working with Laineyfor a couple of years, 'cause that's
the thing that I sort of remember.
they would say, well, we'regoing out on the road with this
artist named Lainey Wilson.

(09:10):
And she's just got that certainsomething and she's really good
to us and we're just gonna stickthis out and see where it goes.
So, Danni, what was your, feelinglike, what did it look like back then?
I just wanna get to the transitionright before things kind of took
off because they're in, a very.
Highfalutin situation rightnow, which is very cool.
You've seen the growth is my point.
I have, yeah.

Speaker (09:30):
We've been there for the whole metamorphosis.
I will say this has alwaysbeen something with Kevin that
has never really phased me.
I've always heard otherpeople sing his praises.
I'm not a musician.
Right.
I know Kevin's a great musician and agreat person, and it's exciting to see
him play, but it's almost funny to mesometimes to see him up on this big stage,
on this high riser and ripping a guitarsolo and the people are just transfixed.

(09:55):
And I'm like, that's, that's just Kevin.
Yeah.
His, what's the big

Speaker 2 (09:58):
deal?
His guitar solos are amazing though.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, that's my little brother.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah.
I feel the same way.
Let's not, be small about this.
Matt on drums is one of thebest drummers out there.
Period.
Kevin Nolan is also one of the best guitarplayers, bass players, steel players.
Period.

Speaker (10:14):
Insert any instrument.
And Kevin has probably mastered it.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Yeah.

Speaker (10:18):
yeah.
I
feel

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Like a lot of people feel we maybe we're being a little biased,
but they really are amazing musicians.
And they eat, breathe, sleep it.
That's all Matt thinks about.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yeah.
Which is why they're on tour right now.
Which is why they are with one ofthe biggest acts in country music.
And I'm so proud to say that I haveshared the stage with Lainey Wilson, with
Matt, with Kevin and the whole band at
the CMA awards show atthe Bridgestone Arena.
And it was just such a very coolexperience because the artist

(10:51):
that they work for is genuinelyone of the nicest people.
I was able to spend some time on the road.
Helping out.
And I toured for a solidweekend a couple of years ago.
I was down and out on my luck.
I wasn't busy, I was not touring.
My wife was away, she was on theroad and Matt called me and said,
Hey, we need an extra pair of hands.

(11:12):
Can you come and help us outon the road with Lainey Wilson?
Just for a weekend?
And I said, absolutely.
He's like, you know what to do.
We don't, I don't haveto tell you what to do.
Just be there to help.
And I said, fine.
And Lainey was so nice.
The team was so nice.
And this was right at the point thatthey were just exploding to be the big,

(11:33):
big bombshell it was right after theywere on a sprinter, which folks, if
you just see Lainey Wilson now one ofthe biggest stars in all of the world.
And rightfully so.
There was a time they were all in asprinter van and they were touring
this country, and I was asked to helpout right at the beginning of the
very first tour bus that they had.

(11:53):
We did two shows.
Back to back and one of them was ashow that was honored from COVID days.
So it was a smaller venue.
And she honored this show.
And the next night was this big,sexy, fantastic bright lights,
new you have made it venue.
And so I got to see the interactionon both levels and it was the same.

(12:14):
Lainey is exactly who she is.
She's a superstar, andshe is kind and wonderful.
The third night we weresupposed to all go to Florida.
We were supposed to take avery, very, very long drive.
Now, little bit of what happens ontour is that there's a tour bus.
You have a driver, you pay the driver.
Lainey Wilson had two drivers, bothwomen by the way, so kudos for women

(12:36):
empowerment and giving women jobs.
I'm married to a womanthat works her butt off.
They say things like, oh, she'sa great drummer for a woman.
I say, no, she's one of thebest drummers in the world.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
She's literally the, her and Matt They're drum twins.
Yeah.
Sister and brother.
Yeah.
It's pretty crazy.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
Yeah, and so we were on the road and it was like, okay, there's
a decision that has to be made.
We need to be down in South Florida.
We were in Ohio at the time, I think.
And the drivers and the crew.
The crew.
I was the crew.
It was me and one other personand the band, and we sat together.
I was even shocked that I was invited tobe there because I was just there for,
to be a pair of hands for the weekend.

(13:13):
And the driver said, look,we know where you need to be.
We understand that the radio people needyou there, but you're not gonna make
it in time unless we drive illegally.
Which is, driving overtime, which isdoing things that are just unsafe.
There are rules in place sothat the passengers, you know,
the superstars, the musicians.
The merch seller.
Every single person issafe and accounted for.

(13:36):
And there was a hard decision to make.
Do we push ourselves past the limit to getto where you need to be to satisfy, uh,
your obligation or what's the alternative?
and I have been with artists, I haveplayed with artists that have pushed
us to the limit where it was notlegal, where it was not safe, and
we were not taken care of at all.
And Lainey went, aside with herday-to-day manager and came back

(13:58):
and said, everybody's going home.
We're going home now.
And she handled it and we all got paid.
And I thought, you know what?
I root for Lainey Wilson, not just becausemy dear friends are in this band, but
because she is one of the most fantasticartists of our time and she has integrity
and she takes care of her people.
So kudos for you for being with guysthat are with such an amazing act.

(14:22):
So the guys are on theroad, they just left today.
You said now this year is a littlebit different from years past.
What's it been like since LaineyWilson became Lainey Wilson?

Speaker 2 (14:34):
It's, not only been really exciting to see Matt
be where he deserves to be.
because I've seen him work so hard for it.
But I've actually really lovedwatching Lainey grow from
where they started to now.
Like, 'cause like you saidearlier, she's amazing.
You really get what you see with her.
She's just that genuineand humble at all times.

(14:55):
I have a lot of people ask me that, like,she can't be that sweet or that country.
And I said, no, that's really her.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
So you've seen it go from like being in a sprinter van
to now she's arguably one of thelargest acts in the world right now.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah.
I think, like Danni said earlier,you kind of just get used to it.
Like it's just another day foryou when some people will just,
think something's mind blowing.
I'm like, oh yeah, that happens.
But there's certain times seeingMatt, like on Yellowstone.

Speaker 4 (15:23):
And I

Speaker 2 (15:23):
zoom in on him, you know, I'm over there crying,

Speaker 4 (15:26):
right.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
And how I look over at him and he is just sitting there
watching it like no big deal.
And I'm just like, this is amazing.
But yeah, it's full circlemoment a lot of times.

Speaker (15:34):
So it's been pretty great.
Easy to get desensitized almost.
Each milestone is biggerand bigger and bigger.
And it just seems likerun of the mill every day.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Eventually it's just like, oh, that's just kind of
became our norm around here.
Yeah.
But the craziest thingI think for me is, um.
The amount of, inboxes or dms Iguess you would say that I get
for people wanting a connection.
Right.
You know, just people reaching out,asking for me to like do this and
that, and I'm like, look, I wouldn'teven ask for myself to do that.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
Like, what, so what do people ask you for?
Oh gosh.
Lets get into it.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
There was somebody once that asked me to, um, who I hadn't
seen in 25 years, probably high school.
Mm-hmm.
And not a, hi, how you doing?
Looks like life's going good.
Can I ask you a favor?
Just right up, Hey, I'vebeen writing some songs.
Can you get 'em to the right people?
Yeah.
And I'm like, no.
Right.
Or, Hey, I need constantly the signaturesfor the nieces and nephews or, or not

(16:30):
nephews, usually nieces or my daughter.
And I would love to be ableto do that for every single
person, but it's kind of like.
You know, I don't, I just treather as if she's like my sister.
You know, when I'm around her'cause she, it's how she treats me.
Yeah.
So I just, I'm not gonna walkup and say, Hey, will you sign
all these 10 things for me?
So that's been kind of crazy.

(16:52):
So, I'm sorry for anybody listening.
If I didn't respond to your messages,it's just because like, it's rude.
I hate to say no, you know, but like,I can't say yes 'cause I'm not, I'm
not gonna treat her as an object.

Speaker (17:03):
Yeah.
No interaction I've ever had withLainey has been transactional, right?
Yeah.
She's so warm.
She's so kind.
She genuinely wants to check inwith you and see how you are and
catch up and ask about your family.
So it feels very odd and likesomething I'm not open to, to
ask her a transactional favor.
I would never do that personally.
It just, it's not who sheis, it's how cakes Yeah.

(17:23):
She

Speaker 2 (17:24):
would totally do it too.
She would off there likeshe, she would do it.
Yeah.
Like two nights ago, I had,um, went out I do her facials.
I'd went out to her house to, do that andshe had someone else there given services.
Um, you know, not gonnaspeak on any, yeah.
Anything privately, but, She wasintroducing me to that, person,
and was like, oh, did Fallontell you my connection with her?

(17:44):
And, She's like, yeah, we'rejust like a big family.
Yeah.
We just do everything foreach other and together.
So that's how I view her as I'mjust going, I don't even almost
feel like it's going to her houseto work for her in that moment.
Right.
It's just like, we're gonnahang out, do some skincare cut
up, because she's a huge cutup.

Speaker 4 (18:01):
Right.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
And I get a different Lainey every time I do a facial.
You know, sometimes she wants quiettime, especially if we're on the road.
Mm-hmm.
And then, um, sometimes she wantsto blast a, you know, some music.
Listen to some music, and soI just turn my spa music down.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
But so like, you really just what you see with her is
literally what you would get Right.
If you had one-on-one.
Contact with her.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
So you both, you've signed NDAs.
Yes,

Speaker 2 (18:27):
yes,

Speaker 3 (18:27):
yes.
Right.
Well, good.
so folks, see, we're not allowedto, you know, just tell everything.
And this is not what this show is about.
We are, all three of us, our tour wives,we have experiences with people who
leave us and then they come back andthen they leave us again, and then they
come back and then, and on and on and on.
So they just left last night.
Do you have a ritual now?

(18:49):
Is there something, Danni, what is theritual I mean, it could be like, you
know, sex or, or, I don't know what,

Speaker (18:54):
I don't know what we're allowed to talk about here, but ritual,
honestly, it's so run of the mill.
Yeah.
I don't even drop himoff, pick him up anymore.
He knows to Uber call somebodyto pick him up on the way, like,
well, we live so close together.
I'm always like, who'staking you this time?
Right.
And they all, so many people livein the same side of town and I feel
like we had to train them to ask

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah.
I have to pick my wife up.
In fact, I have to time it outto the point where like, if she
lands, I can't keep her waiting.
I mean, I'm like, no way.
I can't.

Speaker (19:23):
She has you trained?
Well,

Speaker 3 (19:23):
Darn right.
She has me trained.
I'm very impressed by the fact thatyour guys know how to, they take Ubers.
I'm like, I could learnsomething from you two.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
Well, I mean, now that they're flying private, they sometimes get
in at like two, three in the morning.
I gotta get up and go to work.
So like,

Speaker 4 (19:36):
yeah,

Speaker 2 (19:37):
don't wake me up.
But if I'm free, I don't mind.
I mean, we're so close tothe airport and everything,

Speaker 3 (19:42):
So, okay, they've been on the road.
What was the longest amountof time, like Fallon?
What do you remember as faras the last few years they
have been nonstop on the road.
And now you're saying this year.
It's a little bit different.
So can you talk to that please?

Speaker 2 (19:56):
I would they play like 200 shows.
Was it like 200 shows in one year?

Speaker (20:01):
I think three years in a row.
Yeah.
Wow.
So

Speaker 2 (20:03):
2023, I think was the busiest year.
And like she said earlier,I'm not a very needy person.
I didn't grow up with, parents thatcoddled me I've never been very needy
or just needing somebody around.
So I enjoy the weekends.
Like, don't get me wrong.
I miss him.
Right?
I want him to be home.

(20:24):
But also I love my downtime by myselfbecause I'm so used to it, right?
My whole life.
I mean, I've never had somebodyjust constantly around.
So that part's been alittle easier for me.
I would say when I first moved here wasthe hardest year for me as far as, just
getting my community in Nashville, going,I was the most depressed that first year.
Wanted to go home just becauseI didn't have a ton of friends.

(20:46):
I mean, I had my friends that I met,, dating Matt, like I met you, right?
Like in the beginning of datingMatt, like Raina and people like
that have, always been good friends.
But now I have like a career that Ilike and something going just besides
being Matt's girlfriend and wife.
But once I got thatgoing, I like our routine.
I like him being gone on the weekendsand we also get to go so much now.

(21:10):
Right now that they do have the busesin the room, I just hop on the bus.
If I got some downtime, I'm like, Hey,I think this would be a good trip to go.
And so that's cool.

Speaker (21:19):
I think we've been very fortunate that it has been pretty
much an open check for what whateverwe want to go to or be part of.
I really prefer to go on the weekendsthat are like Bumfuck Indiana or nobody's
going and there's not a guest list andI can just kind of flit around and I'm
friends with most of the band and crewand try to know everybody's name and make
sure they know mine that's best weekend.

(21:40):
Sometimes you go to the high profile likeLA or New York or even Nashville shows and
you feel like you kind of, you're in the

Speaker 2 (21:45):
Way.
Yeah.
You just feel like, is it coolthat I'm here when you know it is
because like, we clearly belong, butlike you don't wanna be in the way.
Yeah.
But Lainey's always so like.
in the family too.
You can be here.
But I like the low key shows too.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Yeah, those are fun.
I, the same way because when I wouldgo visit or be with my wife out when it
would be like Steven Tyler tour, right.
I mean, everybody wants a piece ofSteven Tyler and it's just insane.
And I just hide in the back and then allof a sudden he'd beelines to me, like he
grabs me over and we start hanging out.
I'm like, all right, well I thank youfor being so kind and, and all that.
So Danni what is your routine?

(22:21):
He was gone, gone, gone, gone.

Speaker (22:23):
I know I mentioned earlier that kind of right out the gate of dating
Kevin was gone for periods of time.
Right.
So I think we were already soaccustomed to him being gone.
I'm somebody that's very fortunateto have a rich community, I think in
Nashville and really good female friends.
I think that is the most importantthing any woman can have.
Yeah.
Is a lot of wonderfulwomen in their corner.
I'm social.

(22:43):
I love to go out on the weekends.
Kevin is not a partier.
He loves to be at home.
He is very calm.
We are very different personality wise.
So when he was gone on weekends,I have ways to fill my time.
I can kind of prioritize ourtime as a couple together
during the week when he's here.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
Right.

Speaker (22:59):
And it just is an easy switch for me to flip.
So that has been thenorm for years at a time.
When he, I think they got off theroad in November of last year.
That has been a consistent,like he is in town.
Pretty much through today.
So it's like have tofactor him into your plans.
I know.
I'm like, wait, Kevin can come.
Um, how surprising.
Uh, where he can go on family tripsand weekends, I'm really independent.

(23:22):
I'm really good at doing things alone.
I expect to, but it hasbeen nice having him around.
Right.
But he has filled his timepretty well, Matt, too.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
Is it tough?
I mean, where's the hard part?
So for me, my wife is gone for a verylong time, and, communication is tough

Speaker (23:37):
for sure.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
Right.
There's things that, like we putin place and we do our best, but
we're human beings, you know?
And It's not always easy, What I'mhearing is, is that your guys are out for
mostly weekends and back during the week.

Speaker (23:50):
It has been a weekend warrior, pretty consistent weekend warrior.
The only times they're gonefor weeks at a time is when
they're going to another country.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
And that's extra

Speaker (23:58):
Hard because of the time zone.
Say they have four overlapping hours whereyou're both awake and can communicate.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
He's calling me on my way to work.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Well, That's really tough.
'cause I just got through that as well.
My wife was over in Europe for five weeks.
came back to the States, then wentback again for another 10 days.
And the time change is different,By the time I'm getting up,
they're already at soundcheck.
And then she'll call, Heybabe, what's going on?
What's happening to sound?
I'm like, I, I'm just having my cup

Speaker (24:21):
coffee.
They're like, I'm asleep.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
Good morning.
And then by the time I'm, ready to dostuff, she's playing, you know, she's
six hours ahead, seven hours ahead.
I can just say the communication istough to remember to call, because
now I've been on the other side.
I've been on the road as well, andI've been the person that hasn't
been good at keeping in touch.
And I have been, the person thatforgets to call or my wife will

(24:43):
call me and she'll say, Hey hun,I'm getting into the elevator now.
I'm like, well then why don't you justwait till we're not going to the elevator?
take a few minutes just for me.
And I get upset and I do get upset.
Have you had instancesWhere you've had troubles,

Speaker (24:55):
it's not for the faint of heart.
Yeah.
This lifestyle, it's not easy.
I think we've made the most of it.

Speaker 4 (25:00):
Yeah.

Speaker (25:01):
I don't think either of us would still be with our partners
if this wasn't something that wecould make work and we weren't.
Maybe more it does takethe right person to be Yes.
The significant other.
Yeah.
For sure.
And I think for me, it's been somethingI've recognized cyclically where they've
been on the road consistently for 7,8, 9 months, and I just start feeling
that like, disconnection creep in.

(25:22):
And I'm like, where are you?
Like, we haven't talked about anythingother than where you're going when
you're leaving, when you're coming home.
It gets transactional to a degree.

Speaker 4 (25:29):
Yeah.

Speaker (25:30):
And I think that's pretty normal and it's, it's hard to prioritize really
meaningful quality connective time.
And that's where the routine,I think works against you.
Right.
You're just in this machine.
Like, wash, rinse, repeat.
You're home for two days.
This is our checklistof things we gotta do.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
They don't wanna do it because like No, and that's what I was gonna say.
I think now I'm kind of just like Isaid in a routine, but that first year
when I was struggling, for me it was,I think Matt thought I was resenting
him for being gone and like doing whathe's hoping that turns into something
great, but, and it wasn't like I'mhappy for that, but I wanted a little

(26:08):
bit of a life together when he is home.
Right.
And it's hard to balance that and you, andit's hard to ask for them to be so much at
that two or three days they have at home.
Mm-hmm.
Because I understand now being onthe road with them a lot, you're
like dead when you get home.
Yeah.
You don't.
And I'm like on Sprinter van days.

Speaker (26:26):
Yeah.
Now they're at least on a bus.
They'd then sleep at night whenthey're traveling or traveling back.
But wake up here.
Yeah.
They would get home at seven in themorning and Kevin would go right to bed.
Yeah.
And sleep all day.
That's one of our twodays together this week.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Matt would wanna just go back in there to the drum room.
He eat, breathe, sleeps it.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah.
Do you ever feel like youlose yourself a little bit.

Speaker (26:46):
I think we're lucky we're not to be very secure in our relationships.
Like we couldn't do this if Kenin our career wasn't the most
trustworthy person on planet earth.
Yeah.
We have never, I've neverquestioned anything.
His commitment, I may not hear fromhim for six hours at a time, but that's
because he is trying to catch a nap.
Or maybe his phone dies becausethe power on the bus in the
bunk wasn't working last night.

(27:07):
But it's proven difficultwhen we're not communicating
for extended periods of time.
Yeah.
But the every day I have, I'venever questioned where we stood.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
Yeah.

Speaker (27:16):
I knew that we would get through it.
You don't notice until you'rekind of in the thick of it.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Like I said earlier, it takes the right kind of person to
be, us, but it also takes the rightmusician as well, because like you
said, I'm sure it's really hard forsomeone who doesn't have the trust.
The Nolan brothers, they wereraised, like you said earlier,
the right people, they're amazing.
And until I met Kathy andJerry, that's when it clicked
for me why Matt was who he was.

(27:42):
So kind and polite and just trustworthy.
And yeah, there's a, it's like purityto Kevin that most people don't have.
I don't think he's, that I,that we've probably never met.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, like you're very lucky

Speaker 3 (27:53):
by the way.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
And I know that, and that's why like, there's just a certain part
of me that will always be okay with.
What Matt's doing and how long he'sgone because he's worth that to me.
And I've never, ever in my life hadanybody that I could 100% trust and
not have to worry about anything.

Speaker (28:12):
And I think, think this camp specifically and Lainey has set a tone.
But everybody has pretty high integrity.
Yes.
And they're good people.
They've.
Opened or toured with bigger acts thatdid not, have as such high standards and
maybe we eye witnessed or at least wasaround for some pretty unsavory behavior.
And Lainey was very clear that night.
Like, you better never pullthat shit on the road with me.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
She would literally fire it, wanted them if they did anything
shady like that behind our backs.
Yeah, that's fantastic to know.
Yeah, it's really, yeah,I've been, 'cause it does

Speaker (28:42):
happen on the road.
Yes it does.
I have been kind of surprised , youhear about that, but you think maybe
it's the anomaly and I think it'seasy when you're on the road, even if
you are in a committed partnership.
People find ways to entertain themselves.
Yeah.
And I think it's easy to feel disconnectedand I bet the musicians who are on the
road, I think the risk of them losingthemselves is probably a lot higher than,

(29:04):
you know, the partner sitting at homeand being able to maintain our normal
life and routine and stay grounded andwith people that support us and in our
communities with our pets and families.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
Yeah.

Speaker (29:14):
They don't have that they're in this void.
And if they don't have a reallystrong relationship with the people
that they're on the road with, Icannot imagine how difficult that is.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Not the case.
And none of them party in this camp.
we're usually the oneshaving the most fun,

Speaker 3 (29:25):
I quit drinking.
Matt and Kevin quit drinkingbefore I quit drinking.
And I remember that, because we alldrank, we all partied, you know,
and we all played music together.
We all toured together and we all had fun.
And we've all been on othertours where it's debauchery.
I mean, look, I was a scumbag.
My wife, she was a scumbag.
when we met each other, match made

Speaker (29:44):
in heaven,

Speaker 3 (29:44):
it really was.
It was like, marry, please.
It's marry

Speaker (29:48):
made in

Speaker 3 (29:48):
hell, ma no marrying yourself.com.
So like, no matter what I do or havedone, there's no way my wife could be
so, so angry with me because she doesthe same dumb stuff and vice versa.
Like when really, when she'sforgetful or something, or, you
know, whatever it is, I can never belike, Sarah, what is wrong with you?
because I've done all of thesame dumb stuff, but we were.

(30:10):
Raised in that rock and roll worldwhere we weren't good to our significant
others, no matter what or who they were.
I'm speaking for my wife, butshe would say the same thing.
Like, we weren't good people interms of our relationships coming
up, and touring for all these years.
And that's why when we met eachother, when we knew you are my
person, you know, you're my wife,and she's like, you're my husband.

(30:31):
was a beautiful epiphany becauseit was like, great, I don't have
to worry about that anymore.
' cause I don't, I don'tworry about her cheating.
I don't worry about any of it,So we had a deal, by the way.
Steven Tyler has been my wife's favorite.
Sarah Tomek's favorite, favoriteband was always Aerosmith.
So when she
got asked to sit in and play anAerosmith song called Lord of the

(30:51):
Thighs, which is a very deep cut.
Okay.
And when the producer of Steven Tyler'srecord at the time in Nashville,
Marti Frederiksen saw Sarah Tomek playan Aerosmith song and she laced it.
' cause she knows Aerosmith probablybetter than Aerosmith does.
it was second nature.
And he said, I would liketo offer you this gig.

(31:12):
And she got the Steven Tyler gig,her hero, she used to masturbate to
Steven Tyler, this is not secret.
She's

Speaker (31:20):
gonna kill you.
That's a dream come true.
I can't even imagine this.
This is

Speaker 3 (31:24):
case, I'm not kidding.
Like she was like, oh my God.
And so I was like, this is a point in ourrelationship that this could be tough.
Like oh my God, like.
You're hot.
You're a great drummer.
It's Steven

Speaker (31:34):
Tyler.
Steven

Speaker 3 (31:35):
Tyler.
Yeah.
So I made a rule.
The all

Speaker (31:38):
passes real.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
I, well, here was what I came up with.
I said, okay, if you get Steven Tyler.
I get three regulars.
And she said, what do you mean by that?
What does that even mean?
I said, well, if you actually sleepwith Steven Tyler, there's no way I'm
in the league or in the room or anywherenear anybody that famous or that

(32:01):
successful and hot at the same time.
You know, like when would I ever bein a room with like, I don't know,
Scarlett Johansen a fair trade to me.
So she sitting in front

Speaker (32:09):
you?
Yeah.
And it's right.
And it started for more maybe 10,really 10 Normies to one Steven Tyler.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
I just thought three regulars, three regular women.
The, if you hit Steven Tyler,I get three regular women.
You hit Steven Tyler.
You know what I mean?
And I, by the way, I mentionedall this to Steven Tyler, and you
looked at me like I was crazy.
So I said, okay, that's fun.
But thankfully, we're all in asituation that there's trust and all,
but I'm thinking about times that Iam not as comfortable in my own skin.

(32:36):
Because I'm not doing what she's doing.
Like I've dropped my wife off at aprivate airplane like you, you know,
they're flying private and I have leftthat situation to go serve wine, you
know, as a caterer thinking I reallywould like to be doing that, you know?
And I was really sad and I suffer fromdepression and when I'm alone, I love
my alone time, but then I forget thatI do need to tether to some people.

(32:59):
I need to be around my people.
Right?
Yeah.
You've expressed, both of youtalked about how you have community.
Have you ever lost yourself?
You know, your husband comes home,your boyfriend comes home and you're
not connected and it takes a while toreconnect and you're in a space of I'm
not being seen and I'm not being heard.

Speaker (33:18):
For sure.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
Danni, go ahead.
Definitely.
Tell me about it a little bit.

Speaker (33:20):
Think especially the last year has been so many
changes for both of us personally.
Mm-hmm.
I think they have been on this marathonof, of years at a time now I don't
wanna say consistent burnout, but theyhave been on this marathon for years.
Right.
It has been an intense journey.
It's been a lot of work, even asthe camp has grown and, and work is
taken out of Matt and Kevin's handsand they're able to focus on just

(33:43):
playing, and just learning the setand performing and doing a great job.
It's been the burnout.
I think I saw Kevin experience atthe end of last year was, unlike
anything I had witnessed prior.
He loves his job.
He loves all the people on the crewand in the band, he would never leave.
He loves this gig, but.
He was so exhausted.

(34:04):
I was going through somany personal changes.
I left a career I was good at.
I really liked, I wasn'tquite ready to leave.
I started nannying just to have someconsistency, and kind of like some
autonomy and not being like a completeflip of this financial dependence.
I still wanted some of that independence.
I was going to nail schoolfour or five nights a week.

(34:24):
I was nannying, I was still kind ofjuggling this full-time corporate job
that was not healthy for me and it feltlike we were ships passing in the night.
Communication was so much harder.
Even as they've transitionedto headlining slots.
Yeah, the communication gets harderbecause they may not be going on
stage until, I don't know, 10 o'clockand may not be done until 1130 and

(34:45):
I really need to be in bed by then.
So you kind of miss these checkpointsthat you used to have and these
anchors of checking in and seeinghow each other are, and that was
a really difficult season for us.
And you're in survival mode.
You're just trying to get throughand you kind of wake up and
realize like, where have we gone?
It felt like we drifted so far apart.
I couldn't even imagine howwe were going to reconnect.

(35:10):
It's been much easier in the past.
I think this was one of ourhardest years in a lot of ways.
Personally, more thantogether as a couple.
But we started therapy.
That's been great.
I think we're gonna continue it.
We're in a much better place now, butI think everyone should go to therapy.
Yeah.
I've been in therapy for many years.
But going together gives you that.
Like a saved space.

(35:30):
Yeah.
And kind of a mediator or someoneto kind of bring topics to the
table and almost be an interpreter.
Yeah.
So that when you get hurt bysomething they said, it wasn't what
they said, it's what you heard.
Yeah.
And those are different things.
A lot of the time I'm realizing, and meand Kevin communicate very differently.
Our families are verydifferent and how we interact.
So things that he says makesme feel like some childhood

(35:53):
instance that isn't actuallyhappening in front of me and Yeah.
Kevin is not remotely the same personas either of my parents or siblings or
people that I have these kind of likeattachment wounds or whatever it is.
so that's been, I think areally healthy exercise for us.
Not that it's ever been dire.
I think me and Kevin have neverquestioned that we could get through

(36:13):
it and could get to a better place.
Which I count myself very fortunate for.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
Yeah.
Because it's a big commitment.
And you've committed to your each other,but you've also committed to yourselves.

Speaker (36:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
Because that's, the part that like, I forget, is to take care of me so
that I can be my best person for Sarah.
Yes.

Speaker (36:30):
Me and Kevin have had those conversations where I'm like, we both need
to focus on whatever it is that makes bothof us feel well and we're gonna be better
together and more capable of figuringout a better place to exist together.
Yeah.
If we're starting from a foundationof security and health and rest and
whatever other things we can fit intoactually being a healthy individual.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Yeah.
Fallon, have you ever felt second?

Speaker 2 (36:52):
To go off of what you were saying here, I'm a big fan of medication.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
What kind of medication?
Just something for like,you know, depression.
Mm-hmm.
You were talking aboutdepression and things like that.
Couple of years ago I was strugglingthrough some things just personally, not
really me and Matt's relationship per se.
It was just, like you said,making yourself happy so that
you can be that person for him.
But yeah, I'm a very, OCD controllingeverything has to be perfect type person.

(37:21):
I'm a very detailed person, so,that would make it hard on our
relationship as far as, when heis at home and things like that.
But, just get on medicationthat knocks that edge off
and Matt was very encouraging about that.
And so finally I did itand it was just like.
Why haven't I done this 20 years ago?
Yeah.

(37:41):
Instead of three, I guess this summerwill be three years that you know, that
I've been taking care of my mental health.
So, yeah, it made me be a morepleasant person, I guess you
would say, to be around when Mattis at home wanting that peace.
Yeah.
Not that I was just some horrible,you know, like I wanna be his peace.
Yeah.
As much as he is mine.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
Yeah.
that's very brave.
I mean, because, Sarah andI we're gonna start therapy.
I mean, we both know we need to, we bothhaven't been around each other enough.
I mean, She's been really gone.
And, I've been home and,and now we have a new puppy.
I mean, life is just so different at home.
And I really enjoy being at home.
' cause I went out for a couple of weekendshere and there on the road, and I'm

(38:20):
like, how the heck did I ever do this?
This is a really hard lifestyle.
, My body was killing me.
I was out for like, one day.
I went, I really, I did ashow out in like Chattanooga.
and it was a wonderful gig, and I wasback the same day, but I ate like crap.
My body was killing me from sitting inthis sprinter and, it was like later than
I've wanted I was like, you know what?

(38:41):
Unless the pay is ridiculouslygood and it's not too long.
And basically I'm being a beggar anda chooser how I would like that to be.
The reality is, is thatthere's a reason why I am not a
touring musician, and I get it.
It's just, it's a hard, hard lifestyleand my wife comes home and just thinks
that, she'll bounce right back intowho she is and her life right away.

(39:04):
And I'm expressing to her,please give yourself some grace.
Take some time off.
I mean, I'm the one sayingto people, they're like, oh
my gosh, Sarah's coming home.
It's her birthday.
Let's all get together.
We're all gonna have a good time.
And I literally was like,no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We're gonna do nothing.
We're gonna take our time.
It's gonna be fine.
And this was a few weeks ago.
Okay, so my wife came home fromlike five weeks away in Europe.

(39:26):
It was Sunday night.
She comes home everybody's like,oh my gosh, she's coming home.
Let's make plans.
They were lining up lunches, coffees,dinners, drinks and all that.
And I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
My wife's coming homeand we need our time.
This was Sunday night.
By Monday night we had a new puppy.
We hadn't even seen each other.
We had a new puppy because Our sweet baby,Ringo is 10 years old in great shape.

(39:48):
She's just fine.
But it's like, let'sget Ringo a companion,

Speaker (39:52):
it keeps them young.
It really does.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
But it makes me old.
Okay.

Speaker (39:56):
It's making me

Speaker 3 (39:56):
nuts.

Speaker (39:56):
I could never go through a puppy gon, I have no

Speaker 2 (39:59):
interest.
I want another one so bad.
it's already tough having one whenyou wanna be gone all the time.
Right.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
So she's on the road and she comes home and she honestly
has been nonstop and then I'mrealizing that, you know what?
That's just who you are.
Like yeah, I'm the one that slowed down.
That's a reason

Speaker 2 (40:14):
we're the ones at home.
Yeah.
And enjoy being home.
Yeah.
As much as I love being out with them,I also love my couch with my dog.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Yeah.
I mean, I love being.
Home.
I love my alone time.
And so now what happensis Sarah comes home.
I am set in some ways.
She goes to move something and Isay, uh, that doesn't go there.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
I'm like, sorry she that this is me and that's why I'm on medication.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
what are you talking about?
I said, that does not go there.
She go, where does it go?
I said, it goes

Speaker (40:44):
here

Speaker 3 (40:45):
and here's why.
And of course I am actually speaking likethis, so I sound like an asshole, don't I?
And then she says, well,who are you talking to?
I said, well, if I'm not talking tomyself, I'm talking to the dog or both.
And so it takes a while.
So I've been married now10 years in December.
This coming December will be 10 years.
And we've lived through touring together.
We've lived, touring apart.

(41:06):
I've been away, she's been home.
But now in the last few years, she's away.
I'm home.
And you know, you'd think by now we'reused to it, but it takes a little while.
I feel like we do adance when we come home.
When she comes home.
It's not like in the TV and in the movieswhere the door flings open and it's,
hello darling, hello darling.

(41:27):
And I'm wearing my negligee, you know?
Then I go and I run up to her, youknow, and I give her the big kiss and
I hug and flowers and chocolates andcream and all kinds of good stuff.
It takes a while.
And I will say that I do getflowers at times, and the house
is always clean but it's tough.
What is it like for when Kevin comeshome, do you guys take a minute to

(41:50):
sort of re acclimate or is it faster?
Is it easier as the time goes by?

Speaker (41:55):
Things move so quick.
Yeah.
So I, we kind of have a laundry list.
We're better at checking in,like what's coming up next week.
Right.
All right.
You know, you get home at this time andwe have these things during the week and
expectations of when you should be around.
You do raise a good point.
We probably should make it a littlemore special when he gets back.
I'll say, I'll take that as homework.
It's easy to get into the, like,oh, this is very run of the mill.

(42:17):
Yeah.
He was gone for 36 hours and he's backand we're back in the swing of things.
It's almost just not noticeablewhen they, when they come and go.
Right.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Yeah.
It's like they justgot back from work like

Speaker (42:27):
so reating that morning.
Right?
Not really.
It's like, all right, I gotta beready for the suitcase to be open in
the middle of the floor for a day ortwo, him to get some laundry going.
But it's very much, yeah.
Right back to it.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
Right.
So you have weekend warriors.
that's really big distinction.
Yeah.
And I think that makes it a loteasier because when it's the
long haul trip, it's really hard.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
You just get a routine.
I know one of the things I try, I don't,I don't have lingerie on and just like
the door swings open and all that stuff.
But there are a few things I try to do,for Matt just because it's who I, I'm a,
yeah, that's my act of love is acts ofservice, gift giving, all those things.
But I always try to, have freshsheets on the bed when he comes

(43:06):
home after a long shitty run, maybe.
Can you cus

Speaker 4 (43:10):
yes

Speaker 2 (43:10):
and then, since, he's been sober five and a half years now, so,
, sweets you can't tell because he'sstill as skinny as that mic pole there.
That son-of-a-You know what!,
I know.
Right.
And that's how I'm somebody who,when they're happy they eat.
And since he's been sober,sweets have been his thing.
He goes to the cookiejar every five minutes.
So I always try to make sure, I makehim a dessert at the first of the

(43:34):
week, so he has that to munch on.
So there's little things that Itry to do to, make him want to, not
that he doesn't wanna come home, butlike something to look forward to.
Right.
You know?
And who doesn't love a fresh.
Bed of sheets, why doesit feel so different?

Speaker 3 (43:47):
Yeah.
so you spend a little time and effortfor when the king comes home, right?
Danny now like,

Speaker (43:52):
Ooh, I should be trying harder.
Well, it's the little things.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
But in all fairness, you two guys, Matt and Kevin,
are really so low key, and theydo not sweat the small stuff.
No.
To the point that they would getangry or be like, why is it that when
I come home, the house is a mess?
They're the type of people that wouldbe like, well, if the house is a
mess, what's going on with my lady?
That maybe you don't have the time.

(44:15):
Or they would just, they're very, veryconscientious of who is around them.
They're very mindful of themselves.
They're very mindful ofothers when my wife comes home.
I clean that house like a maniac.
you know what I do?
So I, there's nothing

Speaker (44:28):
sexier than a man who cleaned the house.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
That's me.
I'm Mr.
Sexy.

Speaker (44:33):
That I have never been more turned on when I get home.
And the house is unexpectedly spotless.
You don't have to ask to, I'm taking aneverything shower, meet me in 30 minutes.
You know, like that is the greatestpleasure in any kind of partnership.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Okay.
So let's turn this real quick.
When you go away and they're home,do they treat you in the same sort
of way, like coming home from tour?

Speaker (44:52):
For sure.
It's, kind of crazy 'cause I tend tobe the busier one in our partnership.
I was going to school for so long,I was still working full time.
I was trying to kind of pick upanother job to maintain that,
you know, mental independence.
So Kevin has had to really.
Tune into what I have going on.
Right.
And prioritize our time together, whichis such an interesting flip because

(45:14):
on paper he travels all the time.
He's gone, he has thisbig flashy job and Right.
That's the priority.
And he's the breadwinnerby far at this point.
which has been such aninteresting growth pattern.
And while difficult, it's been reallycool to see him kind of become this
provider and be really in tune withwhat I have going on and give me so much
grace when I am like maxed out times 10and I have no energy left to give and

(45:38):
he really tends to be the last one thatgets what's left in my bank, if anything.
Which is just a testament to whata great person and partner he is.
Yeah.
But it, it's interesting that my life andmy priorities have kind of taken an easy.
Precedent in our relationship,and especially with him.
So our lives keep going.
Like he takes care of me.
Like

Speaker 4 (45:58):
Right.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
They just have something they have to be at every week.
They have to be gone.
Our lives are still going here.
Yeah.
Right.
So when they get here, we'rejust still rolling with it.
There's no, oh, thisis our three days off.
No, we're still in lifegoing hard, you know?.
Well,

Speaker 3 (46:14):
That's, the thing too.
So they come home and is therean expectation of like, okay,
let's just automatically likedo you put yourself away?
That was something that we touchedupon earlier where I know that I do
that and it's to my detriment, whichis my wife comes home, I'm able to
put everything aside and then after acouple of days I start getting irritated
because I'm like, where did I go?

Speaker (46:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
Does that happen?

Speaker (46:37):
I think so.
We have talked about havingmore intentional time together,
or we put phones away.
We're really focused on each other.
It's really hard to do.
I think, especially as I'm, Nail tech now.
So I have clients andeverything's on Instagram.
And people are messaging and Ifeel like I'm working all the
time and responding and confirmingappointments or giving this person
information or answering a question.

(46:58):
And even when we are havingmeaningful time, it's really
difficult to truly unplug and focuson this person in front of you.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker (47:04):
It's practice, everything is practiced.
Yeah.
But it, this world, it's so muchharder to just be present and to
invest and actually spend qualitytime with the people who matter most.
And it's kind of ironic when theperson you care about the most tends
to be the easiest one to neglect.
Yeah.
Um, and I think thatgoes for ourselves too.
I think both of us have been on ajourney of prioritizing self because

(47:26):
you can't pour from an empty cup.
That's right.
One of the, the oldest, but most soundlessons I've tried to focus on, but
it, day to day things move quick.
Yeah.
Routine is just.
Communicating.
Yeah.
Communicating about anything, everything.
Making sure it's not transactional.
Making sure there's meaning and intention.
Behind what you say.
Having lots of patience, not onlyfor ourselves, but our partners.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
That's great.
We live with gig people.
The people we are with are gig people.
I'm still a gig person.
You guys are gig people too, to

Speaker (47:55):
I have your own gigs.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
You have your own gigs.
Yeah.
so what I'm getting at is thatnone of this stuff lasts forever.
Nothing lasts forever.
You know, even if you're like,,you've been to college and, master's
degree and you've been on your jobfor 10 to 15 years, that doesn't
mean anything these days, you know?
But specifically playing with anartist, who tours all the time, you
know, what am I doing next year?
What am I doing next year?
What am I doing next year?

(48:16):
What are we doing?
That's

Speaker 2 (48:17):
stuff I've struggled with.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
Okay.
Go ahead, please.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
Future because I'm such a planner.
Yeah.
Like what are we doing next?
And I'm not as bad as I used to be.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
What do you mean bad?

Speaker 2 (48:29):
Well, what's bad?

Speaker 3 (48:30):
Come on.
How bad were you?
I've never,

Speaker 2 (48:32):
well, I've just never been someone who's very content right.
Because I grew up and in my twenties just.
Something was changing constantly.
I never had consistency everlike moving or all these things.
So like I feel like I struggleda lot with con like just
being content with something.
So I was just ready forthe next thing, right?
Like, something's next andsomething's gonna be better.

(48:53):
Right.
So I'm not as bad as Iused to be with that.
Like, I'm very content in my home,in my relationship, in my marriage.
I guess now I can say, very contentwith relationships I have with
other people and things like that.
But I still think likewe're not having kids.
Obviously I'm too old for thatand some people may disagree, and
neither one of us really want that.
But, for me, long-term goals isjust like getting our lake house.

(49:17):
Having that view, having his music space.
Give me the porch with theview and that's our end goal.
Yeah.
So we are already planning for that.
It could be years before we have it.
But it's something to look forward toand plan, you know, because what else
is there to plan after, you know, okay,we bought our house, we have gotten

(49:37):
married, we're skipping the kid part.
But what's next?
Yeah.
You know, because one of the reasonswhy I think I handled this part of
our lives so easily, I guess youcould say, is just because I know
it could be taken away like that.
Yeah.
Two years from now, Lainey could decideto have a family or go and be an actress.
'cause she is doing that sometimes.

(49:58):
So like this could be gone in two years.
Yeah.
So let's enjoy it while he couldpossibly be at the height of his career.
Yeah.
We all know.
So just be there.
Support.
Be it, the biggest cheerleader you can be.
And just enjoy it in the moment.
'cause like I said, it'snot gonna be forever.
For sure.
Yeah.
Because, you know, musicianstime out sometimes.

Speaker (50:16):
Yeah.
As far as touring, you know, like,it's so funny 'cause I feel like me and
Kevin are almost the complete opposite.
Like, we almost never talk aboutwhat is like 10 years from now,
what does our life look like?
We're very much like,what's happening now.
like we have never been likein a rush to get married.
Like I, for a long time, didn't thinkmarriage was something I ever cared about.
But then you date someone who,and it is important to them.

(50:38):
So you're like, well I, I loveyou and this is important to you.
So it's on the table.
But it's not something thatwe've ever been in a rush to do.
We bought a house a little over a year agoI feel like we're just as legally bound
through that.
Oh.
As a marriage would do for and Ialso, when I think of Kevin, I've
always had this sense that like.
What he's capable of knows no balance.

(50:59):
I don't know what he'll be doing, butI know that he is capable of more than
any other artist that I've encountered.
Yeah, exactly.
Same for Matt.
Yeah.
I'm like, they're such good people.
I just have always had this senseof like them as brothers, them
as individuals, them as artists.
Who knows where.
We'll see that.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
It's endless for them and yeah.
I, and it will never stop.
This will be our life forever.
I do believe that.

Speaker 3 (51:20):
You're with some of the most together people that I know, meaning
like there's not a lot of issue going on.
Like I am listening to myself go,oh my God, I'm, I'm out of my mind.
I need help.
You know?

Speaker (51:31):
No, I think we're the problem.
We're not very relatable.
We're kind of boring, Ithink, in our partnership.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah.
I mean, not trying to come off aslike, we've got this, you know, or
we have the relationships it's still

Speaker (51:42):
very difficult, but it's, made a lot easier because of

Speaker 2 (51:45):
partner

Speaker (51:46):
are who they're

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:47):
They're really just, yeah, go on.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
They're just good people like as soon as you meet them, you know?
Yeah.
Who they are.
And so that just makes it, Ithink, so much easier not to
have much to complain about.
Besides their time maybe.

Speaker (51:59):
And they're very compatible with, the rest of the band and
the crew for the most part.
And I think one thing is our band ofkind of others, significant others,
has been really close and been ableto be really supportive of each other.

Speaker 3 (52:11):
Yeah.

Speaker (52:11):
Which has been really meaningful and important.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
Yeah.
Do you like Lainey Wilson's music Quick?
Oh, I do.
Do you like Lainey Wilson?
I

Speaker 2 (52:16):
love it.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
I thought to myself, imagine what it would be like to
be with somebody, , who's on a gigthat you're like, eh, it's okay.
I could just deal with it.

Speaker (52:22):
I've been lucky.
Kevin played with JessieWilson for a long time.
Her music is amazing.
She's so amazing.
I still like keep in touchwith her on Instagram.
Yeah.
And lets see what's going on.
Kevin and Anna Rose.
Kevin's played with her music is amazing.
She's an incredible performer.
Yeah.
Songwriter Maggie Rose.
All these name similarities.
Throw me off.
Maggie Rose, Lainey Wilson, Jessie Wilson.

(52:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
Yeah.

Speaker (52:45):
But I've been fortunate that he's always played with really talented.
Artists.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
So what's a, guilty pleasure or just a pleasure that
you're like, okay, see ya hun.
that.
Now I know

Speaker (52:54):
yours.
Kevin told me yours.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
What's mine?

Speaker (52:56):
I heard about the serial in bad.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
Oh, okay.
Well, for me, yeah, my guilty pleasure.
Actually, when Sarah goes away,which is quite often, I will always
have a night where I listen to RUSH.

Speaker (53:08):
Yes.
RUSH,

Speaker 3 (53:09):
RUSH.
Because apparently women don't like RUSH.
Do you like RUSH?
The band RUSH?
You don't even indifferent.
You're indifferent.
You don't even know who I'm talking about.
No, actually.
So yeah,

Speaker 2 (53:17):
I can hear a song, know it and like it, but I'll
never know who's playing it.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
I'll play you Tom Sawyer.
You'll be like, I love this song.
Okay.
Probably not.
So my wife laughs.
She goes, women don't like RUSH.
And she doesn't like RUSH.
And so I don't listen toRUSH when she's around.
So I will eat, a pizza and, andcereal and I'll eat cereal in bed.
'cause I like dry cereal.
It's like the gift thatkeeps giving right?
If it's sweet because there'sonly so many cookies in a box.

(53:42):
Right.
I quit drinking.
I, I don't miss dessert, you know?
So do you have like a, a, a pleasurethat you're like, this is just for me
and this is only when my guy is gone.
Is there something,

Speaker 2 (53:51):
uh,

Speaker 3 (53:51):
Fallon,

Speaker 2 (53:52):
Mine costs a lot of money.
I spend most of my weekendsthree days out of the weekend.
Thrifting.
Yeah, I do.
I mean, I will drive outside of Nashville.
I will spend eight hours a day doing it.
And then my other one isanything with peanut butter.
So right on when Matt's gone, oh God, ohyeah, he's, deathly allergic to peanuts,

(54:12):
He would die, don't have any of that here.
So when he's not here, I'll go get my,big Butterfinger blast from Sonic or
something and just enjoy it so much.
I can't do that when he's here.
So it's probably those two things.
That's pretty funny.
Eddie spending

Speaker (54:24):
all his money and I feel like I have two and they're completely opposite.
One is like a good ragerwith the girlfriends.
Like I wanna be at thebar until they close.
Who knows how many tequilashots we're gonna do.
Like let's blow off some steam.
I'm gonna go home, make some noodles,and go to sleep at 4:00 AM falling asleep
to like love is blind or something.
The other is like, I will carveout a Friday with no plans.

(54:45):
Like I am like cleaning thewhole house top to bottom.
I've picked out what I'mordering for takeout.
I smoke a lot of weed.
I pick an entire season of something onNetflix and I binge the entire thing.
I eat as much as I canstand and I go to bed.

Speaker 4 (54:57):
Wow.

Speaker (54:58):
I

Speaker 2 (54:58):
do that a lot actually, but I've forgotten about that.
I actually haven't had time lately, butthat's probably what I'm doing tomorrow.
Yeah.
Plans get canceled tomorrow.
I was like, I'm notgetting out of my pajamas.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
I'd love

Speaker (55:08):
to take a shower and then put on like a clean matching set of pajamas.
Mm-hmm.
I'm like known for my matching set ofpajamas when I go home with friends
and their parents just see me cruisingaround and whatever matching satin set.
But

Speaker 2 (55:20):
I really wish I still had the energy or the want to like go out
and just party all night because likewhen I do, I don't go downtown often,
usually because it's something to dowith Lainey that I have to go downtown.
I'll go outside leaving,it's probably nine o'clock.
'cause we're usually going by that early.
But when the, party buses comeby and everybody's like, jamming
and just screaming and I'mlike, ah, that looks so fun.

(55:41):
I wanna do it.
But I know as soon as I get onthe bus three blocks in, I'll
say, let's just go back home.
But I want to, because like livein a city that's like Party City.
I don't have kids like, hey, let's do it.
But I just do not have the energy.

Speaker (55:54):
Broadway these days.
Yeah.
Broadway on a weeknight.
It's magic.
It's intoxicating.
The lights, the music everywhere.
It's so fun.
The smell.
Yeah, the vibes.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
Well, speaking of parties and good times.
So what's been really, the coolestmoment, because you, spend your
life with your partners who are ontour and play with Lainey Wilson.
Danni, what has been thecoolest moment, like starstruck?
This is amazing.
I cannot believe it.
Wow.
This is happening right now.

Speaker (56:20):
Probably Red Rocks.
Yeah.
For me was cool.
I like was flew in that morning.
Barely made the show.
That felt like A milestone.
Yeah.
To me.
But they've done somany other cool things.
Waking

Speaker 2 (56:31):
up ' in Red Rocks was crazy.
Yeah.
Because we got on the bus in the airport.
Yeah.
Like late at night.
And then.
Woke up and I was justso excited to see it.
Yeah.
And a of course the buses can'tgo to the top, but they're parked
at the bottom, kind of like whereeverything's surrounding you.
And I just kind of peeked thecurtain open and the sun was
shining over like all the rocks.
It was just amazing.
Yeah.
Standing,

Speaker (56:50):
I think that was more fun than the shadow into
the daytime and looking out.
That was, that was a reallysurreal moment of her headlining
versus opening for someone.
It was really cool.

Speaker 3 (57:01):
Lainey Wilson asked me to ask you, what would you
like for the next great thing?
Like what, would be really cool that, youwould love to see happen for Kevin and
Matt Nolan in this particular project?
'cause this is where they are right now.
What would you love to see?
Like, wow, They've donethis, they've done that.
They've done it all.
They've been on television.
Is there something that you're like, youknow, it would be really cool, like if you

(57:23):
had your dream, you'd be like, you know,

Speaker 2 (57:24):
it'd be really cool.
That's so hard becausethey've done so much.
Yeah.
Like they opened for the Stones last year.
Yeah, that's true.
Like when would you have ever thought,that's what I told Matt and Matt.
It took him a long time to process it.
Yeah.
It just never processed for him.
I've got a picture of him watching themafter they played and he's just, he just
looked like he was in a far out space.
Like, is this really happening?

(57:45):
And then they got to record at Abbey Road.
Yeah.
Which was mind blowing, youknow, same year opening for the
Stones, playing at Abbey Road.
Like

Speaker 4 (57:52):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
So I don't, that's a hard question.
I think they

Speaker (57:54):
recorded Bell bottoms up at Abbey Road.
Yes.
Which is a song that they wrote.
I think the first song thatthey co-wrote with Lainey

Speaker 3 (58:00):
Right.
They co-wrote.
That's amazing.
They got

Speaker (58:02):
on, Kevin played on whirlwind.
I know that was his big thing.
Right?
He like, almost didn't believethat that was gonna materialize.
Like they would go a different directionand you know, that I think was his.
Like big milestone.
Right.
That got reported on the last year.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 (58:18):
Yeah.
That's a big deal.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Not many touring bands, so it's just, it's really hard to pick.
What would the next thing be?
You see 'em on the TV shows?
Yeah, the late nightshows, the award shows.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
Getting paid to stay home.
How about that?
Getting paid a year's salary?
Yes.
Just stay home and then have a good life.

Speaker (58:33):
That actually sounds pretty good.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
That does sound good, right?

Speaker (58:36):
Sometimes I'm like, why am I so crabby?
And I'm like.
Can you leave?
Can you leave for like two nights?
Right?
I'm back.
So I, I don't know ifI want a whole year.
I don't wanna commit to a whole year.
Yeah.
Like after this

Speaker 2 (58:46):
Past six months, they're home more.
I mean, they did work some off andon the past six months, but I told
Lainey the other night, I said, readyfor 'em, to get back to routine.
'cause I'm a routine person.
Right?
Like, let's do our buscall Wednesday, Thursday.
See you on Sunday.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
said, I've said the same thing.
I'm like, you know what,when are you leaving again?
And it's terrible, you know?
And sometimes I'm in a bad head spacewhere I'm like, when are you leaving?
And then I'm like, whatam I talking about?
And then I'm like, that's okay.
She comes back, you know, I come back.
They always come back.
And I have my routine as well that Iappreciate and that I really enjoy.
This has been so much fun.
So let me ask you, this is my speed round.
What fascinates you, Danni?
In life.

(59:20):
What fascinates you?
Just something personal about you.

Speaker (59:23):
I'm a nerd about nails.
I love them.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
Veil

Speaker (59:26):
nails.
Oh, oh, nails.
'cause I'm a nail tech now.
Yeah.
I love understanding how theywork, how to keep them healthy,
like how people are damaging them.
I, my clients are probablylike, what is this?
Why is she telling me all this?
What's, I just love it.
I weirdly, I think I foundsomething that is kind of my, my

Speaker 3 (59:40):
niche.
That's great.
Fallon, what angers you?
What pisses you off in this world?

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Like in the world or

Speaker 3 (59:45):
What angers you?
You're just like, man, this angers me.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Mouth noises.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Mouth noises.
It's

Speaker 2 (59:50):
actually a phobia.
smacking food.
Oh yeah.
People that whistle for fun.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
So it, it angers me.
That angers you.
Okay.
What angers you, Danni?

Speaker (59:58):
People that don't care enough to think about other people.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
It's important.
Right?

Speaker (01:00:03):
It's really easy, I think, to get wrapped up in your own world.
Doing things without thinkingabout how they affect other people.

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
What brings you joy Fallon?

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
My dog.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
Yeah.
It's really cute.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Literally.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
I would rather be with him than do anything in this world.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Aw, that's sweet.
Danny, what brings you joy?

Speaker (01:00:18):
I love being in the pit at a show.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
Oh yeah.

Speaker (01:00:21):
Of any show that I know.
A lot of the words to the songs.
That's like me at my peak.
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
That's cool.
Fallon, if you had a magic wand and youcould fix anything in the world, you
just have the power, what would that be?

Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Hatred.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
What would you do with the hatred if you had a magic wand?

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Take away the hatred.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
You would take away hatred.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
That's good.
Danni, if you had a magic wand andyou could just fix, get rid of,
or change anything to your liking.
What would it be?

Speaker (01:00:48):
Every child in the world has resources to be safe and fed.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
I feel like we're on a, Miss USA right now.
I know.
World peace.

Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
World Peace.
Well, Fallon, okay.
This is a big one.
Toilet paper over or under,

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
I don't care.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
like it doesn't

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
bother me either way.
I know that's a thing and I thinkabout it when it is backwards.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
What do you mean backwards?

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Oh, like under,

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
so under is backwards to you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
as OCD as I am, that's the one thing that doesn't bother me.
I do not have to change it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
Huh?
Okay.
Because it's interesting because I am inyour house and your toilet paper is under
and I was about to change it to over.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
That's funny.
'cause I just put that on there thismorning and I don't even look, you

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
don't even look, you just put it on.

Speaker (01:01:30):
What

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
do you think?

Speaker (01:01:31):
I'm an over, but I don't change it because if you have a
cat or a kid, see that's right.
You just unravel the whole thing.
That is true.
So I've recently learned youshouldn't go around doing
that at other people's houses.
'cause there might be areason that it's under.
And it's none of my business.

Speaker 3 (01:01:44):
You're a better person than I am, you're both better people than I am.
Fallon Nolan and DanniEnzor, you are amazing.
your significant others.
Matt Nolan and Kevin Nolantour with Lainey Wilson.
They are incredible human beings.
I'll tell you this,conversation was so great.
It really expressed how healthyyour relationships really are
with your significant others,and I applaud you for it.

(01:02:06):
I'm gonna go and get a therapistimmediately because all I know is that
I need help and I need a lot of work.

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
Think if we do this once a week It feels like therapy.
A weekly check-in.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
Yeah.
Well, I'm all about it.
This is the Just Keep Talking podcast.
Real Lives of Tour Wives edition.
My name is Brother Love.
Thank you so much for tuningin because Your Story Matters.
Until next time, we'll see you soon.
Yay.

Speaker 10 (01:02:29):
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(01:02:50):
Thank you so much for supporting theJust Keep Talking podcast with me,
Brother Love, because Your Story Matters.

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