March 3, 2025 • 30 mins
Have you ever noticed the difference between saying 'I need this' versus 'I want this'? One feels urgent and desperate, while the other feels open and full of possibilities. In today's episode of Investor Evolution: Elevate the Podcast, we explore how shifting your mindset from need to want can alter the way you attract success, wealth, and fulfillment in your life. Join us as we break down the hidden energy behind these words, why need-based thinking keeps you stuck in scarcity and fear, and how you can rewire your language and mindset to step into abundance. We will discuss practical tips and strategies to help you elevate your life in business, relationships, and more. Don't miss out on learning how to live with purpose, joy, and confidence. Share this episode with your friends, subscribe, and start transforming your life today!
00:00 Introduction: The Power of Words
00:44 Welcome to Investor Evolution
01:15 The Energy of Needing vs. Wanting
02:59 Understanding Need-Based Thinking
06:05 The Impact of Want-Based Thinking
21:43 Practical Tips for Shifting Mindset
28:12 Reflection and Homework
29:17 Final Thoughts and Recap
YouTube
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
Mindvalley
Need a CRM: Check out Social Connector
Disclaimer: I am not a CPA, attorney, insurance/real estate agent, contractor, lender, or financial advisor. The content in these videos shall not be construed as tax, legal, financial advice, or other and may be outdated or inaccurate; it is your responsibility to verify all information yourself. This is a podcast for entertainment purposes ONLY.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Have you ever noticed thedifference in how it feels to
(00:04):
say, I need this versus I wantthis?
One feels heavy, urgent, andeven desperate, while the other
feels expansive and full ofpossibility.
That's because needing oftencomes from a place of scarcity,
while wanting is rooted inabundance.
(00:27):
Today, we're breaking down thehidden energy behind these two
words and how shifting yourmindset from need to want can
change the way you attractsuccess, wealth, and fulfillment
in all areas of your life.
Welcome to investor evolution,elevate the podcast, designed to
(00:49):
help busy professional womenlike you, rise higher in every
area of life.
Whether you're looking to createfinancial freedom, reclaim your
time, or find harmony whileyou're thriving in your career,
this show is for you.
Join me each week.
As we uncover strategies to growyour wealth, nurture your
personal development, andelevate your life to new
(01:10):
heights.
So you can live with purpose,joy, and confidence.
Hey, everyone.
Thank you for joining me todayas we talk about this difference
between wanting something andneeding something and the energy
that is different between thetwo and why it's important to
make sure we use our wordspurposefully.
(01:31):
So why does this matter?
Our words and our thoughts shapeour actions and ultimately our
results.
Many of us operate From asubconscious place of need,
creating stress, pressure, andresistance.
And I have definitely been inthat space.
I need this to work.
(01:52):
I really need this extra money.
And it comes with a muchdifferent energy, a much
different feeling, and itactually can repel exactly what
we're trying to get.
Shifting from Needing to wantingactually moves us into
(02:12):
possibility, ease, andattraction, allowing us to
elevate our lives in business,relationships, and all the other
areas of importance for us.
So what are we going to betalking about?
There's a couple of points thatwe're going to be making today.
The key difference betweenneeding and wanting and how they
(02:33):
affect your energy.
We're going to talk about whyneed based thinking keeps you
stuck in scarcity and in fear.
We're going to discuss howshifting to wanting allows for
growth, expansion, andalignment.
And we're going to talk aboutsome simple ways to rewire your
(02:54):
language and your mindset tostep into the area of abundance.
Let's dive in.
The difference between needingand wanting.
Needing is Scarcity and lack.
When you say I need something,there's a desperation there.
There's a sense of urgency, asense of scarcity.
(03:14):
I don't have it.
It puts a vibe out when you sayit.
I need that.
It feels heavy.
It feels desperate.
And it signals to your brainthat you are in survival mode.
And that creates stress and fearbased decision making.
(03:34):
And we don't want to makeimportant life decisions,
business decisions, strategicdecisions when we're in Scarcity
and when we have a fear basedmindset.
Some examples, I need money,right?
It creates pressure and worry.
I don't have enough.
How am I going to get it?
(03:55):
Where is it going to come from?
I need this deal to go through.
Oh, friends.
I have been in this spot.
I need this to work.
And it feels stressful.
And it narrows and limits whatyou I actually can do.
When I think about the opposite,how can I make this deal work?
(04:18):
How can I make this deal gothrough?
Doesn't that open up thepossibilities versus I'm on this
track.
It has to work.
I need to make it happen.
Feels so narrow and limited.
Another example.
Especially when we're dealingwith other people, I need my
partner to support me more.
(04:40):
It sounds as if you're blamingthem, that it's their fault,
that they're not supporting youand things aren't working.
And again, it creates thatfeeling of lack.
Why are these problems?
Why is this a problem?
Well, need, when you have thatneed, And that energy that comes
(05:02):
along behind it, when our handsand our fists are closed, what
are they not?
They're not open.
When they're not open, you can'treceive stuff.
When they're closed and tight,nothing can get in there.
And to me, that's exactly howthat energy feels is It pushes
(05:24):
away opportunities because theycan't, they can't come in.
They have no place to land.
So that energy is repellent tothe opportunities that you're
trying to attract.
And it puts you in a reactivestate of mind versus a creative
one.
The difference between I needthis deal to go through versus
(05:46):
how can I make this deal work?
There's a shift and adifference.
This one, you're on a onetracked mind, you just need it
to happen.
Whereas this one, you're open topossibilities.
You're open to abundance.
You're open to creative ideas.
A big difference between thosetwo.
When I think about the wordwant, and when you say, I want
(06:11):
this, again, my automaticposture, for those of you who
are listening on a podcast,whether it's Apple or Spotify,
I'm showing the differencebetween clenched fists for
needing and open Face up palmsfor wanting, and again, it feels
(06:31):
to me that just feels like thenatural posture.
When I want something, it'sabout choosing something instead
of having to have it, needing tohave it for survival.
And it helps us move from thatfeeling of lack to Possibilities
(06:55):
to opportunities and attraction,right?
That starts becoming moreattractive.
Here are some examples of wantbased thinking.
I want to create wealth.
I want to create more wealth.
That feels open.
It feels empowering.
(07:16):
It feels creative.
It feels choice driven.
I want to do it.
How can I do it?
Now it gets your creative juicesflowing and you're thinking in
more of an open way.
Another one, I want to grow myconfidence in investing, for
example.
This inspires action rather thanfear.
(07:39):
Oh, I need to invest in myfuture.
Well, that doesn't feel great.
Even just saying that feels likescarcity.
But when you say, I want to growmy confidence in investing,
okay, how am I going to do that?
That invites questions.
And when you have thosequestions, that openness,
(08:00):
doesn't it feel more expansivealready?
Even before we've done anything,it just feels expansive and it
makes you want to move intoaction.
So why does this way of thinkingwork?
Wanting is tied to creationversus desperation.
(08:22):
The whole shift in perception isto that feeling of creation,
abundance, attraction.
It gives you control over yourown actions rather external
circumstances dictating whereyou go.
I think about it as ship.
(08:44):
If you're wanting something, youcan set a course, you have your
motor, you can steer where youwant to go.
And if you're needing something,I think about it as a life raft
or a dinghy maybe you don't haveany oars, you don't have a
motor, and you're just driftingwith the tide.
(09:06):
Everything outside of that boatis going to dictate where that
boat goes, not necessarily you.
And that is a good illustrationfor me to think, okay, do I want
everything outside of me to be Iwant to be in control and
pushing me where I'm going,whether I want to or not, or do
(09:28):
I want to be in control and do Iwant to steer my life where I
want it to go?
Another reason why this works isit aligns with growth and
expansion and that growthmindset versus that closed
mindset, which aligns with fearand scarcity.
(09:49):
So next I want to talk about howthis need based thinking is
creating resistance for us.
Needing leads to poor decisionmaking because when you operate
out of need, you're, you makechoices out of urgency, out of
lack, out of desperation,instead of out of alignment.
(10:13):
And when you feel that need, youfeel like you have to do it, and
you're going to move faster andperhaps more recklessly because
you don't have the ability tostep back and ask yourself, is
this where I want to be?
Do I want to align with this?
(10:35):
And I will tell you, I was in ajob for 13 plus years because I
needed it and it was slowlykilling me.
I desperately needed the jobbecause I was making good money
and it drained me.
I am no longer in that space,that position.
(10:59):
You could not pay me enough togo back there.
If you took me five years agoand said, Hey.
We're going to double yoursalary, but you have to stay in
this position for the rest ofyour life.
I would have taken it because Iwas desperate and I needed it.
And right now, you couldn't payme enough.
(11:21):
A difference between that lack,that scarcity versus that
abundance mindset.
It's a huge difference.
Another example.
that may come up, especially inbusiness, is if you need a
client.
(11:41):
And I've recently been in asituation where some investors
needed money and they acceptedlenders who had terms that were
slightly misaligned from whatthey wanted.
However, they still took onthose, those lenders and
(12:05):
borrowed that money because theyneeded it.
And now it's created someproblems later on because there
was a mismatch or a misalignmentof expectations and that has
created some tension.
I think one of the biggestthings I've learned from that
situation is that if theborrowers and the lenders don't
(12:29):
align on their goals, theirtimelines, the way they operate,
it is better to walk away andlet that deal go than to get
into that deal when things aremisaligned.
That creates a ripple effectdown the road and there will be
problems and it's okay to saythank you so much for offering
(12:50):
To be my lender, but we'remisaligned and I don't think we
should work together on that.
Now for borrowers, that can behard if you're down to the wire.
You maybe already have money onthe line, but it's a decision
that you need to make.
Are you willing to work withpeople because you need that
money and they may not alignwith you or Is it better to wait
(13:16):
and seek out other opportunitiesfor people who want to work
together, that there's betteralignment.
And it's a hard thing.
I'm not saying that's easy or aneasy decision to make,
especially if you could lose adeal.
But there are consequences ofthose choices down the road.
So, things to think about.
Another thing that this needbased thinking creates
(13:41):
resistance in is, it createsthis attachment and this
pressure.
For example, if you needsomething and you grip it too
tightly, it can createresistance.
Excuse me.
Also going back to this feelingof energy and attraction versus
repelling.
Of course, anytime you have thatneeding, if you can feel it
(14:03):
right, if you have a salespersonwho's coming at you and they
like, Like, need a sale.
You can feel it and doesn't thatrepel you back?
You don't, you don't want to bea part of that.
It makes you feel uncomfortablewe can sense that neediness.
People can sense when others areneedy, whether that's in
(14:26):
business, networking andrelationships.
An example of this would beagain, in sales, if you're going
into a meeting saying, I needthem to say yes, they have the
power, not you.
One of the phrases I learned ina network marketing business is
"marry the process, divorce theresults." And this is a hard
(14:47):
thing to do, but if you can justgo through the process and the
outcome is up and open, and youallow that to just happen as it
does and you're not married tothe outcome, It creates a space
of openness that allows thingsto flow much easier.
(15:10):
So, the contrast of, I need themto say yes, would be in a more
open, growth mindset would be, Iam going to present my best
offer and see if we align.
Then that puts you in control.
Are you a good fit for me?
Am I a good fit for you?
And that's where we want to be,especially in sales.
(15:30):
Because we may not be.
I may not be a fit for you.
And that's okay.
We're going to move on to divinginto this wanting energy.
So how shifting to wantingthings elevates our energy.
I want to give a story from acouple of books that I've been
reading lately, The Gap and theGain, and they talk about it in
(15:54):
10x is easier than 2x.
These books are by Dan Sullivanand Benjamin Hardy.
They give these examples ofwanting, and when you say, well,
I want this, a lot of timespeople will ask you, well, why
do you need that?
Now, if you, you express yourwant to someone, like, I want to
(16:18):
go to, Fiji and spend myanniversary in one of those over
the ocean huts.
Well, why do you need to dothat?
Is a lot of times the questionyou might get.
Well, why do you need that?
There's two ways you canrespond.
Well, I've worked really hard,and I deserve a vacation, and I
(16:41):
want to spend this time with myhusband.
You know, and you can go onjustifying why you want that.
And it turns into a need,doesn't it?
You're justifying it of why youneed it.
Versus the other response of Idon't need it, I just want it.
(17:02):
And that can be reallyuncomfortable for people, that
you want something and you'reokay with just wanting it, that
you don't have to justify it.
And that has been a huge mindshift for me, and I think it's
really powerful to just wantthings and not have to justify
them.
(17:23):
That's what kids do.
That's what my kids do.
My son Easton has challenged mein this and I'm starting to come
around to his way of thinkingbecause it's so much more
powerful.
He just wants things and he'llask for them and and whether
it's from us or from strangers.
(17:43):
And a lot of times he gets it.
And it's been a huge example forme because I have justified.
Why do I need that?
Why, why should I get that?
Oh, I don't deserve it, so I'mnot going to ask for it.
Those are the things that gothrough my head.
(18:05):
But my son is just like, Hey, Iwant to ride on the very front
car of the Mount Everest ride inWalt Disney World So I'm gonna
ask great guess what he got todo right in the very front of
that ride.
You know and he asks for thingsbecause he just wants them and I
think it's a very powerfulexample of Going for it and I
(18:31):
have had to Step back andrealize, I have limited myself
because I feel like I have tojustify what I want.
And I want to encourage you thatit's okay to just want things
because you want them.
And you don't have to justify itto anybody.
(18:52):
If you want it, go for it.
So when we talk about shiftingto this wanting and how it
changes your energy.
Wanting creates expansion,right?
We've talked about this, and itallows for openness and choice
instead of feeling this likeyou're forced into a certain way
(19:13):
or feeling like you're undercontrol of something else.
Instead of saying, I need tolose weight, you can say, I want
to feel strong and energized.
And doesn't that feel so muchbetter if that's your goal, I
want to feel strong andenergized versus I want to just
lose weight.
(19:33):
It changes the feel of it insuch a powerful way.
Instead of saying, I need thisinvestment to work out and you
say, I want to explore the bestopportunities available to me.
What else is out there?
It opens your mind to a ton ofdifferent possibilities.
(19:55):
Maybe this investment thatyou're looking at is incredible.
Maybe there is something muchbetter out there for you and
you're open to thosepossibilities.
Another thing that this does,wanting invites flow and
possibility.
And you can feel it in all thatwe've talked about.
When you want something, youstart taking aligned action.
(20:19):
Towards it.
And this is where that youdivorce the outcome.
You, you don't have attachmentto it.
You're working towards it, butyou don't have to have it.
Instead of saying, I need thisperson to like me, you can just
say, I want to build authenticconnections.
(20:40):
Instead of saying, I need tomake this sale, You can say,
again, back to that alignment, Iwant investors who are aligned
with our purpose and our vision.
Those are the people I want towork with.
Maybe that's you, maybe it'snot, and that's okay.
(21:00):
Another thing that it does iswanting puts you in a position
of power.
Needing drives and gives yourpower away to something else and
someone else.
But wanting keeps you incontrol.
If you say, I need more time.
Well, that feels closed and itgives your power away.
(21:23):
But when you say, I want tocreate more space in my schedule
for what matters most, you getto be the author of that
calendar, right?
You get to create the space, thetimes, so that you can put in
there what matters most for you.
You are in control.
(21:43):
Next I want to talk about somepractical tips on how you can
shift from needing to wanting.
And I'm going to give you fourstrategies here.
So number one, reframe yourlanguage.
I want you to start noticingwhen you say I need.
When you hear yourself say, Ineed something, I want you to
(22:04):
stop.
I want you to catch it, throwthat one out and replace it
with, I want.
I want something.
I did it this morning.
I need more time.
Nope.
I want to look at my scheduleand create more space for the
things that matter most to me.
It's going to take time.
(22:25):
You're not going to be perfectat this right out of the gate.
You're going to catch yourself.
But the quicker you catchyourself, before it even comes
out of your mouth even, I need,nope, I want, it's going to help
start shifting.
And it's, it's an exercise, sojust bring it to your awareness
(22:47):
and as you hear that I need,you're going to shift it to I
want.
So again, instead of saying Ineed more clients, I want to
attract clients who are alignedwith my values and what I'm
doing.
Number two, shift your focusfrom fear to possibility.
(23:08):
If you feel scarcity creepingin, and this is, this happens,
this is natural.
Again, this is the dance thatwe're in of becoming aware of
our thoughts.
A lot of these thoughts are verysubconscious.
You don't even notice them.
But now you're going to becausewe've talked about it.
(23:29):
So as you notice that feeling ofscarcity creeping back in, I
want you to, especially if it'sthings like, what if this
doesn't work out?
What if I can't make it happen?
I want you to catch thosequestions that you're asking
yourself and throw them out andask, what if it works out better
(23:53):
than I imagined?
How could it turn out better?
How can I make this work for mygood?
How can this be a betteropportunity for me?
And start asking yourselfquestions of how to make it
better, how to improve it, howto expand it.
(24:14):
What's awesome about your brainis when you ask it questions, it
searches for answers.
So if you ask negativequestions, What if this doesn't
work out?
What is your brain going tothink about?
It's going to think aboutnegative things of how it's not
going to work out.
But when you ask, how could thiswork out?
(24:34):
How could this turn out betterthan I even thought?
Your brain is going to thinkabout those questions and find
answers.
And already, doesn't that liftyour mood?
Doesn't that increase yourenergy?
It's very powerful.
Number three.
Gratitude.
(24:54):
Practice an attitude ofgratitude.
Gratitude is so helpful.
When you are grateful for whatyou have now and where you are
now, and you realize theabundance that you have, you
can't help but be satisfiedwhere you are, even though you
(25:16):
want more.
I'm grateful for where you are,even if you want more.
This is an interesting thoughtthat wanting more and wanting
other things can only exist whenyou feel abundant in the present
because otherwise what happensyou shift to, I need.
(25:37):
And this is something that I'vebeen thinking about a lot
lately.
I've been thinking like, I needto make more money.
I need to do this.
I need to have this.
And what I'm realizing is I haveeverything.
I have everything that I need.
I have enough money.
I have a job that I am loving.
(25:57):
I, I have an incredible family.
I get to spend time with myfamily more so than I have in
the past.
I am grateful for where thingsare and because of that, I don't
need anything.
That is powerful.
When I don't need anything, thenmy imagination gets to be, well,
(26:19):
what can I create?
What can I do?
Where could I go?
It's a very different energyshift and it's very empowering.
And I've been doing this sinceJune, July 2024.
So not that long, but everymorning I write down three
things that I'm grateful for.
(26:41):
That daily gratitude reinforcesthat you already have enough and
that more is coming and more ison the way.
Cause every day, guess what?
I have more things that I'mgrateful for.
I haven't run out of anythingthat I'm grateful for.
I.
Every day.
(27:01):
I haven't been able to get to aday where I was like, Nope, not
grateful for anything.
No.
Every day there is more.
And that more, that abundancecreates abundance.
It's, it's fascinating.
Gratitude is incrediblyimportant.
And number four, and again, thisis something I'm working on.
(27:22):
Detach yourself from theoutcome.
Needing is gripping tightly, butwanting is open, taking aligned
action, and trusting theprocess.
Trusting that it's gonna workout.
Trusting that it's gonna workout better than you even
anticipated.
So, let's recap those fourthings.
(27:44):
Reframe your language.
If you start saying, I need,you're gonna catch it.
Throw that one out and say, Iwant.
Number two.
You're going to shift your focusfrom fear to possibility instead
of what if it doesn't work out?
What if it does?
What, what if it happens betterthan I could have thought?
Number three, you're going topractice that gratitude for what
(28:04):
you already have, the abundancethat you already have.
And number four, you're going todetach yourself from the
outcome.
All right, let's reflect alittle bit and talk about
homework.
You know, I love some homework.
So reflection question of theday, where in my life am I
operating from need instead ofwant?
(28:28):
For me, a big one has beenmoney, right?
Oh, I need to make more money,but when I sit down and look at
it, I have enough.
I have enough.
Everything that I need.
Right?
Now I can work on the abundanceside of things.
I want you to, here's yourhomework for the day, I want you
(28:49):
to write down three things thatyou currently need and rewrite
them as wants so that they startfeeling expansive and powerful
and empowering for you to moveyou forward.
And I want you to pay attentionto how these shifts change your
(29:11):
energy and change yourperspective and change the way
you move towards those.
I think it'll be very powerful.
Okay, so final recap, rememberneeding is scarcity and when,
when you have your fists closed,nothing else can come in there.
Wanting is abundance.
You're open to receive what isfor you.
Need based thinking createsresistance, whereas want based
(29:34):
thinking invites flow andabundance.
Reframing your mindset createspowerful shifts.
And the last thought of the day.
What you focus on expands whenyou shift from needing to
wanting, you invite moreopportunities, more ease, and
(29:55):
more success into your life.
I wanna know how it goes thisweek.
I want to hear how shiftingthose three things that you
need.
into wants and reframing those,how that helps you this week as
you move forward.
And please like, subscribe.
(30:16):
If you found value here, pleaseshare this episode with your
friends.
And until next time, have agreat week.
Have you ever noticed thedifference in how it feels to
(00:04):
say, I need this versus I wantthis?
One feels heavy, urgent, andeven desperate, while the other
feels expansive and full ofpossibility.
That's because needing oftencomes from a place of scarcity,
while wanting is rooted inabundance.
(00:27):
Today, we're breaking down thehidden energy behind these two
words and how shifting yourmindset from need to want can
change the way you attractsuccess, wealth, and fulfillment
in all areas of your life.
Welcome to investor evolution,elevate the podcast, designed to
(00:49):
help busy professional womenlike you, rise higher in every
area of life.
Whether you're looking to createfinancial freedom, reclaim your
time, or find harmony whileyou're thriving in your career,
this show is for you.
Join me each week.
As we uncover strategies to growyour wealth, nurture your
personal development, andelevate your life to new
(01:10):
heights.
So you can live with purpose,joy, and confidence.
Hey, everyone.
Thank you for joining me todayas we talk about this difference
between wanting something andneeding something and the energy
that is different between thetwo and why it's important to
make sure we use our wordspurposefully.
(01:31):
So why does this matter?
Our words and our thoughts shapeour actions and ultimately our
results.
Many of us operate From asubconscious place of need,
creating stress, pressure, andresistance.
And I have definitely been inthat space.
I need this to work.
(01:52):
I really need this extra money.
And it comes with a muchdifferent energy, a much
different feeling, and itactually can repel exactly what
we're trying to get.
Shifting from Needing to wantingactually moves us into
(02:12):
possibility, ease, andattraction, allowing us to
elevate our lives in business,relationships, and all the other
areas of importance for us.
So what are we going to betalking about?
There's a couple of points thatwe're going to be making today.
The key difference betweenneeding and wanting and how they
(02:33):
affect your energy.
We're going to talk about whyneed based thinking keeps you
stuck in scarcity and in fear.
We're going to discuss howshifting to wanting allows for
growth, expansion, andalignment.
And we're going to talk aboutsome simple ways to rewire your
(02:54):
language and your mindset tostep into the area of abundance.
Let's dive in.
The difference between needingand wanting.
Needing is Scarcity and lack.
When you say I need something,there's a desperation there.
There's a sense of urgency, asense of scarcity.
(03:14):
I don't have it.
It puts a vibe out when you sayit.
I need that.
It feels heavy.
It feels desperate.
And it signals to your brainthat you are in survival mode.
And that creates stress and fearbased decision making.
(03:34):
And we don't want to makeimportant life decisions,
business decisions, strategicdecisions when we're in Scarcity
and when we have a fear basedmindset.
Some examples, I need money,right?
It creates pressure and worry.
I don't have enough.
How am I going to get it?
(03:55):
Where is it going to come from?
I need this deal to go through.
Oh, friends.
I have been in this spot.
I need this to work.
And it feels stressful.
And it narrows and limits whatyou I actually can do.
When I think about the opposite,how can I make this deal work?
(04:18):
How can I make this deal gothrough?
Doesn't that open up thepossibilities versus I'm on this
track.
It has to work.
I need to make it happen.
Feels so narrow and limited.
Another example.
Especially when we're dealingwith other people, I need my
partner to support me more.
(04:40):
It sounds as if you're blamingthem, that it's their fault,
that they're not supporting youand things aren't working.
And again, it creates thatfeeling of lack.
Why are these problems?
Why is this a problem?
Well, need, when you have thatneed, And that energy that comes
(05:02):
along behind it, when our handsand our fists are closed, what
are they not?
They're not open.
When they're not open, you can'treceive stuff.
When they're closed and tight,nothing can get in there.
And to me, that's exactly howthat energy feels is It pushes
(05:24):
away opportunities because theycan't, they can't come in.
They have no place to land.
So that energy is repellent tothe opportunities that you're
trying to attract.
And it puts you in a reactivestate of mind versus a creative
one.
The difference between I needthis deal to go through versus
(05:46):
how can I make this deal work?
There's a shift and adifference.
This one, you're on a onetracked mind, you just need it
to happen.
Whereas this one, you're open topossibilities.
You're open to abundance.
You're open to creative ideas.
A big difference between thosetwo.
When I think about the wordwant, and when you say, I want
(06:11):
this, again, my automaticposture, for those of you who
are listening on a podcast,whether it's Apple or Spotify,
I'm showing the differencebetween clenched fists for
needing and open Face up palmsfor wanting, and again, it feels
(06:31):
to me that just feels like thenatural posture.
When I want something, it'sabout choosing something instead
of having to have it, needing tohave it for survival.
And it helps us move from thatfeeling of lack to Possibilities
(06:55):
to opportunities and attraction,right?
That starts becoming moreattractive.
Here are some examples of wantbased thinking.
I want to create wealth.
I want to create more wealth.
That feels open.
It feels empowering.
(07:16):
It feels creative.
It feels choice driven.
I want to do it.
How can I do it?
Now it gets your creative juicesflowing and you're thinking in
more of an open way.
Another one, I want to grow myconfidence in investing, for
example.
This inspires action rather thanfear.
(07:39):
Oh, I need to invest in myfuture.
Well, that doesn't feel great.
Even just saying that feels likescarcity.
But when you say, I want to growmy confidence in investing,
okay, how am I going to do that?
That invites questions.
And when you have thosequestions, that openness,
(08:00):
doesn't it feel more expansivealready?
Even before we've done anything,it just feels expansive and it
makes you want to move intoaction.
So why does this way of thinkingwork?
Wanting is tied to creationversus desperation.
(08:22):
The whole shift in perception isto that feeling of creation,
abundance, attraction.
It gives you control over yourown actions rather external
circumstances dictating whereyou go.
I think about it as ship.
(08:44):
If you're wanting something, youcan set a course, you have your
motor, you can steer where youwant to go.
And if you're needing something,I think about it as a life raft
or a dinghy maybe you don't haveany oars, you don't have a
motor, and you're just driftingwith the tide.
(09:06):
Everything outside of that boatis going to dictate where that
boat goes, not necessarily you.
And that is a good illustrationfor me to think, okay, do I want
everything outside of me to be Iwant to be in control and
pushing me where I'm going,whether I want to or not, or do
(09:28):
I want to be in control and do Iwant to steer my life where I
want it to go?
Another reason why this works isit aligns with growth and
expansion and that growthmindset versus that closed
mindset, which aligns with fearand scarcity.
(09:49):
So next I want to talk about howthis need based thinking is
creating resistance for us.
Needing leads to poor decisionmaking because when you operate
out of need, you're, you makechoices out of urgency, out of
lack, out of desperation,instead of out of alignment.
(10:13):
And when you feel that need, youfeel like you have to do it, and
you're going to move faster andperhaps more recklessly because
you don't have the ability tostep back and ask yourself, is
this where I want to be?
Do I want to align with this?
(10:35):
And I will tell you, I was in ajob for 13 plus years because I
needed it and it was slowlykilling me.
I desperately needed the jobbecause I was making good money
and it drained me.
I am no longer in that space,that position.
(10:59):
You could not pay me enough togo back there.
If you took me five years agoand said, Hey.
We're going to double yoursalary, but you have to stay in
this position for the rest ofyour life.
I would have taken it because Iwas desperate and I needed it.
And right now, you couldn't payme enough.
(11:21):
A difference between that lack,that scarcity versus that
abundance mindset.
It's a huge difference.
Another example.
that may come up, especially inbusiness, is if you need a
client.
(11:41):
And I've recently been in asituation where some investors
needed money and they acceptedlenders who had terms that were
slightly misaligned from whatthey wanted.
However, they still took onthose, those lenders and
(12:05):
borrowed that money because theyneeded it.
And now it's created someproblems later on because there
was a mismatch or a misalignmentof expectations and that has
created some tension.
I think one of the biggestthings I've learned from that
situation is that if theborrowers and the lenders don't
(12:29):
align on their goals, theirtimelines, the way they operate,
it is better to walk away andlet that deal go than to get
into that deal when things aremisaligned.
That creates a ripple effectdown the road and there will be
problems and it's okay to saythank you so much for offering
(12:50):
To be my lender, but we'remisaligned and I don't think we
should work together on that.
Now for borrowers, that can behard if you're down to the wire.
You maybe already have money onthe line, but it's a decision
that you need to make.
Are you willing to work withpeople because you need that
money and they may not alignwith you or Is it better to wait
(13:16):
and seek out other opportunitiesfor people who want to work
together, that there's betteralignment.
And it's a hard thing.
I'm not saying that's easy or aneasy decision to make,
especially if you could lose adeal.
But there are consequences ofthose choices down the road.
So, things to think about.
Another thing that this needbased thinking creates
(13:41):
resistance in is, it createsthis attachment and this
pressure.
For example, if you needsomething and you grip it too
tightly, it can createresistance.
Excuse me.
Also going back to this feelingof energy and attraction versus
repelling.
Of course, anytime you have thatneeding, if you can feel it
(14:03):
right, if you have a salespersonwho's coming at you and they
like, Like, need a sale.
You can feel it and doesn't thatrepel you back?
You don't, you don't want to bea part of that.
It makes you feel uncomfortablewe can sense that neediness.
People can sense when others areneedy, whether that's in
(14:26):
business, networking andrelationships.
An example of this would beagain, in sales, if you're going
into a meeting saying, I needthem to say yes, they have the
power, not you.
One of the phrases I learned ina network marketing business is
"marry the process, divorce theresults." And this is a hard
(14:47):
thing to do, but if you can justgo through the process and the
outcome is up and open, and youallow that to just happen as it
does and you're not married tothe outcome, It creates a space
of openness that allows thingsto flow much easier.
(15:10):
So, the contrast of, I need themto say yes, would be in a more
open, growth mindset would be, Iam going to present my best
offer and see if we align.
Then that puts you in control.
Are you a good fit for me?
Am I a good fit for you?
And that's where we want to be,especially in sales.
(15:30):
Because we may not be.
I may not be a fit for you.
And that's okay.
We're going to move on to divinginto this wanting energy.
So how shifting to wantingthings elevates our energy.
I want to give a story from acouple of books that I've been
reading lately, The Gap and theGain, and they talk about it in
(15:54):
10x is easier than 2x.
These books are by Dan Sullivanand Benjamin Hardy.
They give these examples ofwanting, and when you say, well,
I want this, a lot of timespeople will ask you, well, why
do you need that?
Now, if you, you express yourwant to someone, like, I want to
(16:18):
go to, Fiji and spend myanniversary in one of those over
the ocean huts.
Well, why do you need to dothat?
Is a lot of times the questionyou might get.
Well, why do you need that?
There's two ways you canrespond.
Well, I've worked really hard,and I deserve a vacation, and I
(16:41):
want to spend this time with myhusband.
You know, and you can go onjustifying why you want that.
And it turns into a need,doesn't it?
You're justifying it of why youneed it.
Versus the other response of Idon't need it, I just want it.
(17:02):
And that can be reallyuncomfortable for people, that
you want something and you'reokay with just wanting it, that
you don't have to justify it.
And that has been a huge mindshift for me, and I think it's
really powerful to just wantthings and not have to justify
them.
(17:23):
That's what kids do.
That's what my kids do.
My son Easton has challenged mein this and I'm starting to come
around to his way of thinkingbecause it's so much more
powerful.
He just wants things and he'llask for them and and whether
it's from us or from strangers.
(17:43):
And a lot of times he gets it.
And it's been a huge example forme because I have justified.
Why do I need that?
Why, why should I get that?
Oh, I don't deserve it, so I'mnot going to ask for it.
Those are the things that gothrough my head.
(18:05):
But my son is just like, Hey, Iwant to ride on the very front
car of the Mount Everest ride inWalt Disney World So I'm gonna
ask great guess what he got todo right in the very front of
that ride.
You know and he asks for thingsbecause he just wants them and I
think it's a very powerfulexample of Going for it and I
(18:31):
have had to Step back andrealize, I have limited myself
because I feel like I have tojustify what I want.
And I want to encourage you thatit's okay to just want things
because you want them.
And you don't have to justify itto anybody.
(18:52):
If you want it, go for it.
So when we talk about shiftingto this wanting and how it
changes your energy.
Wanting creates expansion,right?
We've talked about this, and itallows for openness and choice
instead of feeling this likeyou're forced into a certain way
(19:13):
or feeling like you're undercontrol of something else.
Instead of saying, I need tolose weight, you can say, I want
to feel strong and energized.
And doesn't that feel so muchbetter if that's your goal, I
want to feel strong andenergized versus I want to just
lose weight.
(19:33):
It changes the feel of it insuch a powerful way.
Instead of saying, I need thisinvestment to work out and you
say, I want to explore the bestopportunities available to me.
What else is out there?
It opens your mind to a ton ofdifferent possibilities.
(19:55):
Maybe this investment thatyou're looking at is incredible.
Maybe there is something muchbetter out there for you and
you're open to thosepossibilities.
Another thing that this does,wanting invites flow and
possibility.
And you can feel it in all thatwe've talked about.
When you want something, youstart taking aligned action.
(20:19):
Towards it.
And this is where that youdivorce the outcome.
You, you don't have attachmentto it.
You're working towards it, butyou don't have to have it.
Instead of saying, I need thisperson to like me, you can just
say, I want to build authenticconnections.
(20:40):
Instead of saying, I need tomake this sale, You can say,
again, back to that alignment, Iwant investors who are aligned
with our purpose and our vision.
Those are the people I want towork with.
Maybe that's you, maybe it'snot, and that's okay.
(21:00):
Another thing that it does iswanting puts you in a position
of power.
Needing drives and gives yourpower away to something else and
someone else.
But wanting keeps you incontrol.
If you say, I need more time.
Well, that feels closed and itgives your power away.
(21:23):
But when you say, I want tocreate more space in my schedule
for what matters most, you getto be the author of that
calendar, right?
You get to create the space, thetimes, so that you can put in
there what matters most for you.
You are in control.
(21:43):
Next I want to talk about somepractical tips on how you can
shift from needing to wanting.
And I'm going to give you fourstrategies here.
So number one, reframe yourlanguage.
I want you to start noticingwhen you say I need.
When you hear yourself say, Ineed something, I want you to
(22:04):
stop.
I want you to catch it, throwthat one out and replace it
with, I want.
I want something.
I did it this morning.
I need more time.
Nope.
I want to look at my scheduleand create more space for the
things that matter most to me.
It's going to take time.
(22:25):
You're not going to be perfectat this right out of the gate.
You're going to catch yourself.
But the quicker you catchyourself, before it even comes
out of your mouth even, I need,nope, I want, it's going to help
start shifting.
And it's, it's an exercise, sojust bring it to your awareness
(22:47):
and as you hear that I need,you're going to shift it to I
want.
So again, instead of saying Ineed more clients, I want to
attract clients who are alignedwith my values and what I'm
doing.
Number two, shift your focusfrom fear to possibility.
(23:08):
If you feel scarcity creepingin, and this is, this happens,
this is natural.
Again, this is the dance thatwe're in of becoming aware of
our thoughts.
A lot of these thoughts are verysubconscious.
You don't even notice them.
But now you're going to becausewe've talked about it.
(23:29):
So as you notice that feeling ofscarcity creeping back in, I
want you to, especially if it'sthings like, what if this
doesn't work out?
What if I can't make it happen?
I want you to catch thosequestions that you're asking
yourself and throw them out andask, what if it works out better
(23:53):
than I imagined?
How could it turn out better?
How can I make this work for mygood?
How can this be a betteropportunity for me?
And start asking yourselfquestions of how to make it
better, how to improve it, howto expand it.
(24:14):
What's awesome about your brainis when you ask it questions, it
searches for answers.
So if you ask negativequestions, What if this doesn't
work out?
What is your brain going tothink about?
It's going to think aboutnegative things of how it's not
going to work out.
But when you ask, how could thiswork out?
(24:34):
How could this turn out betterthan I even thought?
Your brain is going to thinkabout those questions and find
answers.
And already, doesn't that liftyour mood?
Doesn't that increase yourenergy?
It's very powerful.
Number three.
Gratitude.
(24:54):
Practice an attitude ofgratitude.
Gratitude is so helpful.
When you are grateful for whatyou have now and where you are
now, and you realize theabundance that you have, you
can't help but be satisfiedwhere you are, even though you
(25:16):
want more.
I'm grateful for where you are,even if you want more.
This is an interesting thoughtthat wanting more and wanting
other things can only exist whenyou feel abundant in the present
because otherwise what happensyou shift to, I need.
(25:37):
And this is something that I'vebeen thinking about a lot
lately.
I've been thinking like, I needto make more money.
I need to do this.
I need to have this.
And what I'm realizing is I haveeverything.
I have everything that I need.
I have enough money.
I have a job that I am loving.
(25:57):
I, I have an incredible family.
I get to spend time with myfamily more so than I have in
the past.
I am grateful for where thingsare and because of that, I don't
need anything.
That is powerful.
When I don't need anything, thenmy imagination gets to be, well,
(26:19):
what can I create?
What can I do?
Where could I go?
It's a very different energyshift and it's very empowering.
And I've been doing this sinceJune, July 2024.
So not that long, but everymorning I write down three
things that I'm grateful for.
(26:41):
That daily gratitude reinforcesthat you already have enough and
that more is coming and more ison the way.
Cause every day, guess what?
I have more things that I'mgrateful for.
I haven't run out of anythingthat I'm grateful for.
I.
Every day.
(27:01):
I haven't been able to get to aday where I was like, Nope, not
grateful for anything.
No.
Every day there is more.
And that more, that abundancecreates abundance.
It's, it's fascinating.
Gratitude is incrediblyimportant.
And number four, and again, thisis something I'm working on.
(27:22):
Detach yourself from theoutcome.
Needing is gripping tightly, butwanting is open, taking aligned
action, and trusting theprocess.
Trusting that it's gonna workout.
Trusting that it's gonna workout better than you even
anticipated.
So, let's recap those fourthings.
(27:44):
Reframe your language.
If you start saying, I need,you're gonna catch it.
Throw that one out and say, Iwant.
Number two.
You're going to shift your focusfrom fear to possibility instead
of what if it doesn't work out?
What if it does?
What, what if it happens betterthan I could have thought?
Number three, you're going topractice that gratitude for what
(28:04):
you already have, the abundancethat you already have.
And number four, you're going todetach yourself from the
outcome.
All right, let's reflect alittle bit and talk about
homework.
You know, I love some homework.
So reflection question of theday, where in my life am I
operating from need instead ofwant?
(28:28):
For me, a big one has beenmoney, right?
Oh, I need to make more money,but when I sit down and look at
it, I have enough.
I have enough.
Everything that I need.
Right?
Now I can work on the abundanceside of things.
I want you to, here's yourhomework for the day, I want you
(28:49):
to write down three things thatyou currently need and rewrite
them as wants so that they startfeeling expansive and powerful
and empowering for you to moveyou forward.
And I want you to pay attentionto how these shifts change your
(29:11):
energy and change yourperspective and change the way
you move towards those.
I think it'll be very powerful.
Okay, so final recap, rememberneeding is scarcity and when,
when you have your fists closed,nothing else can come in there.
Wanting is abundance.
You're open to receive what isfor you.
Need based thinking createsresistance, whereas want based
(29:34):
thinking invites flow andabundance.
Reframing your mindset createspowerful shifts.
And the last thought of the day.
What you focus on expands whenyou shift from needing to
wanting, you invite moreopportunities, more ease, and
(29:55):
more success into your life.
I wanna know how it goes thisweek.
I want to hear how shiftingthose three things that you
need.
into wants and reframing those,how that helps you this week as
you move forward.
And please like, subscribe.
(30:16):
If you found value here, pleaseshare this episode with your
friends.
And until next time, have agreat week.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.