"The archetype of the good girl as a lawyer would be the same as the archetype of any good girl in any profession, which is living someone else's dream." — Rachel Clar
When you've built an identity around being useful, driven, and in control, slowing down doesn't feel like rest—it feels dangerous. But what happens when living up to everyone else's expectations leaves you unrecognizable to yourself?
In this illuminating episode of LawHer, Rachel Clar reveals how she transformed from an accomplished professional with "massive resistance to slowing down" to a compassionate disruptor helping women lawyers reclaim their authentic power.
After giving away her "agency and power bit by bit" across a successful yet unfulfilling career, Rachel shares the wake-up call that led her to turn her "Titanic" life toward greater purpose and peace.
Through her own journey incorporating meditation, Buddhism, and peer community, Rachel offers women lawyers a revolutionary roadmap for breaking free from the "good girl" archetype that keeps them silenced, overextended, and exhausted—while still achieving meaningful success on their own terms.
About Rachel Clar
Rachel Clar is the founder and CEO of Interconnected Us, a business supporting women lawyers through masterminds and coaching. Armed with a JD, Rachel spent 15+ years in business development across affordable housing, urban infill, and renewable energy before launching her coaching practice. Rachel left traditional legal practice due to misogyny and billable hours to help women lawyers set better boundaries, grow confidence, and expand their networks. Her popular speaking topic—"From Nice Girl to Bold Leader: Grow Your Influence, One Conversation at a Time"—encapsulates her transformation and mission.
Rachel Clar: LinkedIn
Interconnected Us: Website
What’s in This Episode:
The Hidden Cost of Being "Good": What happens when a seven-year-old girl writes in crayon that she wants to be a lawyer—and then spends the next thirty years living that expectation? Rachel reveals the shocking moment she realized success on paper had left her feeling like "a huge failure" and unrecognizable to herself.
The Surprising Truth About Givers: Why do some generous professionals end up burned out and broke, while others rise to the top? Rachel unpacks the counterintuitive research that explains what separates "doormat givers" from powerhouse leaders—and how the right peer circle changed everything.
Could Your Greatest Strength Be Destroying You?: Rachel exposes the dangerous lie behind perfectionism that drives overachieving women to work harder while feeling worse. Discover the unexpected practices—from Buddhist meditation to lap swimming—that finally helped her escape what she calls "a progressive disease" before it took her down.