April 29, 2026 • 28 mins
One brave ask can change a career, and one heavy loss can make you question who you even are. We sit down with Mary Elizabeth Murphy, CEO of Star Resources and author of Reset Your Buttons, to talk about both sides of that reality and what it takes to lead through it. Mary Elizabeth has spent decades in training and development, team dynamics, and workplace leadership, but her story starts with a moment many professionals recognize: layoffs, uncertainty, and that uncomfortable decision to reach out for guidance.
We dig into how mentorship actually works in real life, how the “wrong” person can still be the right connector, and why leadership often finds you before you feel ready. The conversation turns deeply personal as she describes grief after losing her best friend to ovarian cancer and how faith and community helped her find her legs again.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_01 (00:06):
Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast.
We are a community of leaderswith a network in over 350
cities around the worlddedicated to optimizing our
personal, professional, andspiritual lives to have impact.
This show is where we have achance to listen and engage with
leaders who are living this out.
We love talking with leaders, soif you have any questions,
comments, or suggestions to makethis show even better, please
let us know.
(00:27):
The best way to stay connectedin Canada is through our
newsletter at Leaderimpact.ca oron social at LeaderImpact.
And if you're listening fromoutside Canada, check out our
website at leaderimpact.com.
I'm your host, Lisa Peters, andour guest today is Mary
Elizabeth Murphy.
Mary Elizabeth has spent over 30years of experience working
directly with clients.
She is a reliable,results-driven expert in team
(00:49):
dynamics, development, andcohesion.
As CEO and owner of StarResources and author of Reset
Your Buttons, she has beenteaching the skills to earn
more, achieve more, and producemore since 1993.
Enhancing interpersonalrelationships and increasing the
effectiveness and productivityin the workplace is her passion.
Encouraging women and leadershipin the workplace is another of
(01:11):
her passions.
She has been awarded the NorthCarolina Women in Business
Champion of the Year for hercommitment to the advancement of
women's business ownership.
She has also been named one ofNorth Carolina lawyers' weekly
50 most influential women, and TD magazine named her one of the
six recipients of theprestigious Trainings New Guard
for her ability to inspireothers with her passion,
(01:33):
determination, and success.
Welcome to the show, MaryElizabeth.
SPEAKER_00 (01:38):
Thank you, Lisa.
I am thrilled to be here and tobe a part of your podcast and
reach and reach women who are inleadership.
SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
I love it.
Well, um, you came highlyrecommended from a friend that
we just that I just met, Tara.
So um, and she glowed about you.
So I'm excited to hear a littlebit more about your story.
Good.
All right.
So one of the first things welove to ask is just a little bit
about yourself.
But really, what we're lookingfor is a pivotal moment in your
(02:07):
journey that maybe changedthings.
And I'm excited because I don'tknow you, and I'm like, oh,
maybe like hearing Tara Brownwas a HR for 30 years, and then
now she's a like comediantraveling the world.
So yeah, sort of looking forthat pivotal moment in your life
along your journey.
SPEAKER_00 (02:24):
Yeah, I you know, um I when you've lived this much
life, there's quite a fewpivotal moments along the way in
the journey.
And so um, I guess I would sayuh in the beginning, I was I I
started into training anddevelopment, uh having um come
(02:45):
out of owning a gift basket andballoon decorating business.
My career prior to that was inmarketing, um, and I uh decided
to go into training because Ihad this experience of traveling
around and and training indifferent businesses and and
different people, and I wantedto be my own boss, and the
(03:09):
organization was having a adownsizing, and I was one of the
last ones hired, so that'sgenerally the first one let go,
right?
Um, so that worked out, but Ididn't know exactly how to do it
or how to get started, and so umI had three different sources,
and this is this is where thisspiritual my faith side comes
(03:34):
into it, which is the um trust,just trust in God and He will
direct your paths, right?
Uh, and that's not always aneasy thing to do, uh,
particularly when you've beenlaying on the couch for a few
too many weeks, and Hagen Dazhas become your friend or Ben
and Jerry's or pick pick andflavor.
(03:54):
You're making it real, MaryElizabeth.
unknown (03:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
Well, you asked Pivotal.
So I had three differentsources.
My father, um, my then uhboyfriend, now husband, and then
my best friend all pointed me toa woman who was doing a program
on um on public television, andthen there was a newspaper
(04:20):
article about her, and I reachedout to her, and she pointed me
to the woman who then became mymentor for many, many years.
And in fact, she's still aliveand she still shows up every
once in a while to encourage meand keep me going.
So that was the first pivotalmoment.
There's been a few more sincethen, uh, but I'm gonna pause
(04:40):
there for a minute and see ifthat uh fits for you.
SPEAKER_01 (04:44):
So, um, in regards to your mentor, um, meeting her
for the first time, becausepeople I I would love to hear
you talk more about asking forhelp.
Because I'm just saying you weregoing from a few weeks off,
watching TV, dog and hog anddaws, you know, and then people
are putting this person in frontof you, and you call her.
What was that conversation?
SPEAKER_00 (05:06):
So she actually didn't turn out to be the
mentor, which is interesting.
Okay, she shared with me thatshe was very, you know,
flattered, and that she hadbuilt her business for her
family, and she's also she hadalso done a lot of work with
women.
Her name is Mary Kay Sloakowski,and Mary Kay said, I'm going to
(05:28):
point you to Sandy Carn becauseI believe that Sandy will be a
better resource for you.
And if she's not, come back tome.
Okay.
So that's how I met Sandy.
And I think to your point,sometimes it is all about just
having the courage to ask.
Yeah.
(05:48):
And then trust where you'rebeing directed.
SPEAKER_01 (05:51):
Yeah.
And and to trust thoseconnections.
Like, you know, the first personmay not have Mary Kay may not
have been the person, but sheconnected you to Sandy, you
know, and just trust thatprocess and go, okay, that's not
a wall.
That is a door to open.
And yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
Now we love to talk about best.
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
Do you have any more pivotal moments that were, I
mean, well, so there's two more,and the one that got me to Tara,
um, I think two two kind of bigones.
Um, so the second one was justbuilding the business.
And I and maybe those aren'tquite as pivotal as um as as the
last one, where I met actually,where I met Tara Brown.
(06:35):
When you own your own businessor when you are in leadership,
there's a lot of ups and downs.
One thing that is is againironic and I believe very
god-led, is when I moved here toNorth Carolina uh and was
building my career and buildingmy relationships and building my
business, I also was uh electedas president of our American
(07:00):
Training and Development chapterhere in North Carolina in
Charlotte.
And that was a very interestingexperience.
And at the same time, I also wasasked to be president of our
business and professionalwomen's chapter.
So over a span of uh like 16, 18months, I was president of two
organizations, which taught me alot about I used to call myself
(07:23):
the accidental leader.
Like I didn't know quite howthat happened.
Um, and and then I along the waywrote my book, Reset Your
Buttons.
Okay, now that little backstoryhas something to do with uh my
third pivotal moment, which hasbeen in the last four years when
(07:44):
I lost my best friend from highschool to ovarian cancer.
And as I was entering into thisdecade and having losing her, I
I was headed back for the couch.
Let's let's say that.
And and it was a it was a veryheavy time.
We had come out of the pandemic.
(08:05):
Um, she actually passed while wewere coming out of, I think,
like the second pandemic.
Um, and I honestly didn't knowwho I was or who I wanted to be
anymore, if that makes sense.
And I'm sure there's women outthere who have felt that at some
point in time.
And so I asked my wonderfulhusband if he would go to the
(08:30):
National Speakers Association,Carolina's chapter, was having
their annual meeting at theSpeedway Club.
My husband's an ASCAR fan, sothat was a pretty easy yes.
Not that he wouldn't have saidyes anyway.
And so we went to the SpeedwayClub, and Tara was actually
performing that night uh becauseshe had won the uh or in
(08:54):
addition to the fact that shehad won the Jeannie Robertson
award.
And I met her and I met LarryLong Jr.
And I met Michelle McCowanCampbell.
And as that, as that timeprogressed in that in those
relationships, I f I was I wasfeeling like I was being walked
(09:16):
back into my life because oftheir faith and friendship and
their faith in me as well.
Yeah.
It just helped me to, and ofcourse, my husband and and other
people, it it helped me to to toget back up on my legs again, is
really how I felt about it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:35):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (09:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
The connection is amazing that you just shared.
The story is amazing and and howall of it comes together.
And and we And now I'm here withyou.
And we've had a podcast withthose other people, and they're
all lovely.
And I think of who we surroundourselves with.
And at the time you went to themeeting, you didn't know them,
and then you came out of it, andnow look, you know, look where
we are today surrounding.
(09:58):
I feel like that's leader impacta bit.
Leader impact, we have groupsmeeting around the world, and
people didn't know each other,but we we come together and we
support because leadership'slonely, and to have other people
that are dealing with it, andand all those you can't talk to
everyone about your leadershipstruggles.
So to have that group of people,yeah, like Larry.
SPEAKER_00 (10:18):
And and and they may have shared this with you.
How we really came together was,and again, ways to find my legs
again, so to speak, was Larrywas the incoming president of
our NSA Carolinas chapter.
So I was asked to serve on hisboard, Tara was asked to serve
on his board, and then Michelleserved with me on my on the
(10:41):
committee that I oversaw.
So, and we shared together in alearning experience that also
brought us together before weeven started on the board.
So I agree with you.
It's it's it's finding that umif you don't have the courage to
walk in the room, get somebodyto walk in the room with you.
SPEAKER_01 (11:02):
Oh, good one.
I'm I'm just doing apresentation on sponsorship, and
that if if you're not in theroom, I'll I'll take you in the
room with my, you know, I willsay, have you heard of Mary
Elizabeth?
She's this.
Yeah, yeah.
I love that.
It's a great point.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we're gonna move on to thesecond question of best
principle of success.
If you have one, you know, umwhat you live by every day, but
(11:25):
your best principle of successand a story that might
illustrate that.
SPEAKER_00 (11:31):
Hmm.
I'm not sure about a story, butI'll I'll I'll give I'll give
you maybe two best principles.
All right.
One was just given to merecently, I was reminded of.
So I've always believed thatwhen you're in a volunteer
leadership role or anyleadership role, your job is to
raise up other leaders.
(11:52):
That's that's the that's why I'mhere.
I'm here to help other leaders,you know, rise up so that they
can do their work in the world,whether that was business and
professional women, Americantraining and development, which
is now American talentdevelopment.
Um, now again, being back, oh,that was the other pivotal
(12:12):
moment.
I I'm now president again on theATD Carolinas or Charlotte
board, uh, with with which willbring to my uh another
principle, which a good friendgave to me.
I'm kind of being a littlescattered here for a minute, so
let me let me get clear.
So I believe that we shouldraise up other leaders.
(12:35):
That's our job.
If you're in a leadership role,your job is to raise up other
leaders and also to help peopleget to where where wherever they
want to be.
But we all have leadershipability and capabilities.
Um, and a friend of mine, whenthis situation happened where I
became president again of ourATD Carolinas chapter, she had
(12:58):
been on my board back in theday, 20 years prior, and she
said, just remember all thelessons you have learned since
then, since we sat around thattable trying to figure out what
to do to where you are now andwhat you know, and hold that as
your anchor what as you'retaking on this role this time.
(13:22):
So I think there's something tobe, or I know there's something
to be said for what did youlearn along the way?
And and when I talk abouttrusting God to lead my path,
and I'm not always, you know,I'm not always great at it.
When I do, if you think aboutthe I, you know, I I didn't want
(13:45):
to walk into the Speedway Clubby myself.
My husband walked me in.
Um, I I met these wonderfulpeople.
I met Larry Long.
I hadn't met Tara or Michelle atthat point.
I was asked to be on the board.
Oh well, well, I had seen Taraperform.
Um I then got my legs under meto begin to be a better leader
(14:07):
again.
I've I was reacquainted withmyself and my ability to do it.
And now I'm the president of theATD Charlotte chapter.
Yeah.
Not because I was searching forit.
SPEAKER_01 (14:21):
Yeah.
I think a lot of women willcould resonate with that uh as
we step away.
We step away from our ourcareers for different reasons.
If it's to raise a family, uh,you know, whatever that is, if
you're a caregiver, um we stepaway, and when we come back, we
don't know what we're good at.
We we don't have, you know, andwe had those skills.
(14:42):
We know we did.
We just we need we need somesupport, we need some friends,
we need someone to go to give usa chance to put our name in the
room and everything you've said.
SPEAKER_00 (14:51):
And we need to be reminded.
Yeah.
You know, I think that's a bigpart of it too, Lisa, is to be
given the opportunity, becausethat's what that those pivotal
moments were about, is I wasgiven the opportunity to be
reminded of what I'm capable ofdoing.
Yeah.
And and what I have done.
(15:11):
Yeah.
Good.
SPEAKER_01 (15:13):
So this kind of leads in when you've talked
about taking what you learnedalong the way.
I'm pretty sure there was somefailures along the way, some
mistakes.
I'm wondering if you have if youhave one that you could share
and what you learned from it.
SPEAKER_00 (15:28):
Yeah, I'm not sure if it's a well, there's there's
many mistakes of uh for for someof us, not all of us, but
especially when you own your ownbusiness with where do I invest
my, you know, what are thethings I need to invest my money
in?
Memberships, learning,conferences, products, all those
things.
Uh so that that can be achallenge and probably a
(15:51):
conversation for another day.
Um, I think about when I wroteReset Your Buttons.
So it took me seven years towrite all less than a hundred
pages of that book.
Um and I I don't know if this isanswering your question or not,
Lisa, because I don't know ifagain, I don't know if I should
(16:15):
have done it faster.
No, was it done, you know?
Yeah, if it was done, if I if mybelief is to follow God's
perfect timing, then it was donein the in the timing that it was
supposed to be done in.
Uh it starts out.
I talk about when I was young,that my mother always said, Why
do you let people push yourbuttons?
(16:37):
And the unfortunate part, andmaybe you know, this is part of
it, is she passed before I wasable to finish and publish the
book.
So I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
I don't know if that's a that is really good.
Yeah, I think that you know, youjust said it took seven years to
write the book.
I I want to believe that uhanything that happens in my life
when there's a a good thing or aand even though it's a fail,
it's a failing or a mistake, Ilearned from it.
You know, so I always walk awaywith a positive, and I well,
(17:11):
okay, I don't always.
I really, I really work hard atlike, okay, what what am I to
learn here?
This this I'm in the suck, as Icalled it.
Um, and you know what, youdidn't get a book written in
seven years, but it wasn't meantto be written in seven in four
years.
unknown (17:26):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
There was something that you needed to learn to
experience, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (17:31):
I mean, I'm not a counselor, so I shouldn't be no,
but I think you're right becausethere are so many things that
made that model method andmindset so important.
And when I wrote it, it helpedme to write it as this is I I
want this to be, you know, wecall them coffee table books,
but I want this to be a bookthat and people have told me
(17:52):
this that I can keep on mynightstand and reference when I
need it, when I need to bereminded.
And uh, I have a plan to towrite a second book this year.
And people have said, Well, why,you know, why'd you wait so
long?
And I'm like, because I didn'thave anything else to say.
And now I do.
SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
I always wonder about those authors that just
whip off books and you're like,wow, yeah, they have a lot to
say, I guess.
They have a lot to say.
All right.
Well, at Leader Impact, we wantto grow personally,
professionally, and spirituallyfor increasing impact.
So I'm wondering if you'rewilling to share an example on
how the spiritual makes apractical difference in your
(18:35):
life as a leader.
SPEAKER_00 (18:37):
Um, I I again I'm not sure this is practical, but
it's grounding.
Um every odd, every group I'vehad the privilege of speaking
to, whether it's training, uh,conference, you right now, uh, I
(18:57):
I believe in with everythingwithin me that is that's a God
moment.
Because there's too much thathas to go into You met Tara.
You and I to bring us together,there's a there's there's God's
(19:18):
reason for doing that.
And I'm not always, you know,catch me in the grocery store on
a bad day.
I'm not remembering that all thetime, right?
Or somebody cuts me off intraffic.
But that's the that's my frame.
So ask me that question again,and I'm gonna I'm gonna attempt
to answer it through that frame,if that's helpful.
SPEAKER_01 (19:38):
So I'm just wondering if you uh have an
example of how the spiritualmakes a practical difference in
your life as a leader.
SPEAKER_00 (19:45):
So the practical side of that is that when I get
cremogeny about, you know, likeI I I have to start early in the
morning with a client, or youknow, I've been I'm gonna be
standing on concrete for 12hours, or the the practical for
me is always remembering what ittook to get those that person,
(20:09):
those people in front of me.
That's my practical application,and it's also my practical
application when I am when I amin the doubt to I I wear a I
started wearing a necklace uhyears ago, I wore just a mustard
seed.
Like I took a little mustardseed and I put it in a little
(20:30):
heart locket because of what Iwas going through in my life,
and I've always believed thathave the faith of a mustard
seed, right?
Um and and so so that's mypractical application is that
when I'm in doubt, when I'm infear, when it's not going the
way I think that it needs to, Ijust remember that's that's I
(20:53):
just need that much faith to getme through these next few
moments, and beautiful,wonderful, miraculous things can
happen.
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good.
I love the mustard seed.
I don't think I don't think Iknow anyone who wears a mustard
seed.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
I I know I wanted I wanted something.
Well, again, I have that fromthe past, and then and when I
started thinking about what didI want to wear, I was like,
yeah.
And this this little one happenactually has a little mountain
in it, so it's like scaling amountain and you know, a couple
little things like that we canapply.
SPEAKER_01 (21:26):
Yeah, and I bet it's a great conversation piece.
People go like, what are youwearing?
SPEAKER_00 (21:30):
No one ever notices.
It's so no one ever notices.
No, it's okay, though.
It's okay.
It's yeah, you know, good, Iknow, and that's the practical
application as well, right?
I know I know.
SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, I love it.
So at Leader Impact, we'rededicated to leaders having a
lasting impact.
So as you continue to movethrough your own journey, your
many pivotal moments, have youconsidered what you want your
faith legacy to be when youleave this world?
SPEAKER_00 (21:58):
I it it's funny because I I'm calling this my
legacy chapter, so I appreciatethat question on many levels.
Um, I I believe that that resetyour buttons is is a big part of
that, knowing because the t thetag um subtitle to it is in
(22:18):
create relationships that work.
So my legacy, I I hope that mylegacy is that everything we've
talked about already today, thatI've helped to raise up other
leaders who have learned tobecome better leaders, and that
they know how to reset theirbuttons when those buttons get
pushed, so that they are clearand that they do ask.
(22:44):
This is the other practicalapplication, is that every
morning I ask to have um eyes tosee, ears to hear, and words to
speak, that that God would haveme see, hear, and speak.
Um and again, not always perfectat that.
But that's that that that's myguidance.
(23:05):
That's that's what helps me.
SPEAKER_01 (23:08):
I love when people admit because sometimes you're
you know, uh, I host a a talkshow in Regina, I'm on you know
in my city, I'm on TV, and Ithink everyone just expects you
to be perfect.
So when when we haveconversations like this and we
like I am not, and anyonelistening, I'm not.
And I so thank you for justalways you're saying that you
(23:29):
know we we were we are workingvery hard to do things right,
and sometimes we fail.
And we know that the moment wasthat was the moment we lived,
moving on, you know.
That was we were supposed to bethere for a lesson, a learned,
yeah.
That's it.
Yeah.
Well, my final question for you,Mary Elizabeth, is what brings
you the greatest joy?
SPEAKER_00 (23:51):
Oh, other people's success.
That's easy.
One other people's success.
Yeah, just just seeing otherpeople deliver in you know, in
the speaker world, seeing otherpeople deliver great messages
that move an audience, um,reading a really good book, uh,
watching the chosen, uh,inviting someone to uh uh we the
(24:14):
church we subscribe to is inAtlanta, it's North Point Church
with Andy Stanley, who's CharlesStanley's son.
Um having family, introducingthem to him or one of his
sermons and um having peopleenjoy it, right?
I think that's um that's thethat's the effervescence of
(24:37):
life, right?
SPEAKER_01 (24:38):
It is.
Yeah.
Okay, so let's go back to AndyStanley.
SPEAKER_00 (24:44):
You know him?
I don't know him personally, um,but he is he started a church in
um, oh, I'm gonna get thiswrong.
Uh I'm gonna no, I don't thinkit's Marietta, Georgia, but it's
in Georgia, okay.
Um not far from Atlanta, and andyou know he's Charles Stanley's
(25:04):
son, right?
No.
So Charles Stanley is so I wasborn and raised Catholic.
Um and along the way I foundAndy doing a it was a television
thing uh that I happened on oneone night, and my husband and I
started watching him, and he andhe gives very practical advice.
And his church, the church thatthey're built that they have
(25:27):
built and that they areexpanding, um, which is called
the uh I'm sorry, Lisa, I justdid not have enough coffee this
morning.
Um I I want to say it's theinspirational church network,
but that's not right.
Irresistible, it's theirresistible church network.
Okay.
This church is North Point.
(25:47):
Um, but they have one thathere's their mission that
following Jesus make can makeyour life better.
Make you better at life, makeyou better at life, and and make
your life better.
I mean, working with vision andmission statements forever with
clients, I'm like, that's asimple, easy one, practical that
(26:07):
I can follow, right?
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Um, for anyone listening, uh, II Andy Stanley, look him up, is
all I'll say.
Like he is so good.
His books, his videos, you canfind so much on him.
And yeah, so I'm glad youbrought up that name.
He yeah, he's he's a good one.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
Yeah, North Point Church on Sundays.
You can watch it online.
SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
Okay, that sounds good.
Uh Mary Elizabeth, I want tothank you for taking time out of
your very busy day.
It was hard to track you downand and thank your assistant for
me for working us back andforth.
Um, now if anyone wants toconnect with you, find out more
about your book or anything,just how can they connect with
you?
SPEAKER_00 (26:47):
Uh they can find the book on Amazon or they can go to
our resetyourbuttons.comwebsite.
And if they want to order anautograph book, they can do that
there.
Uh, and our my business is StarResources, which stands for
Strategic Teams AchievingResults.
Okay.
And that's starresources.net.
SPEAKER_01 (27:06):
Okay.
Well, Mary Elizabeth, you'vebrought joy to my life.
I love being here, hearingpeople's stories, and just and
just being allowed to share.
So thank you for joining us heretoday.
Just we so appreciate you.
SPEAKER_00 (27:17):
Thank you.
Thank you for what you're doing.
SPEAKER_01 (27:19):
All right, thank you.
All right, well, to all of you,if you're part of Leader Impact,
you can always discuss or sharethis podcast with your group.
And if you are not yet part ofLeader Impact and would like to
find out more and grow yourleadership, find our podcast
page on our website atleaderimpact.ca.
You can also check out groupsavailable in Canada at
Leaderimpact.ca.
Or if you're listening fromanywhere else in the world,
check out LeaderImpact.com orget in touch with us by email.
(27:42):
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And if you like this podcast,please leave us a comment, give
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This will help other globalleaders find our podcast.
Thank you for engaging with us.
And remember, impact starts withyou.
Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast.
We are a community of leaderswith a network in over 350
cities around the worlddedicated to optimizing our
personal, professional, andspiritual lives to have impact.
This show is where we have achance to listen and engage with
leaders who are living this out.
We love talking with leaders, soif you have any questions,
comments, or suggestions to makethis show even better, please
let us know.
(00:27):
The best way to stay connectedin Canada is through our
newsletter at Leaderimpact.ca oron social at LeaderImpact.
And if you're listening fromoutside Canada, check out our
website at leaderimpact.com.
I'm your host, Lisa Peters, andour guest today is Mary
Elizabeth Murphy.
Mary Elizabeth has spent over 30years of experience working
directly with clients.
She is a reliable,results-driven expert in team
(00:49):
dynamics, development, andcohesion.
As CEO and owner of StarResources and author of Reset
Your Buttons, she has beenteaching the skills to earn
more, achieve more, and producemore since 1993.
Enhancing interpersonalrelationships and increasing the
effectiveness and productivityin the workplace is her passion.
Encouraging women and leadershipin the workplace is another of
(01:11):
her passions.
She has been awarded the NorthCarolina Women in Business
Champion of the Year for hercommitment to the advancement of
women's business ownership.
She has also been named one ofNorth Carolina lawyers' weekly
50 most influential women, and TD magazine named her one of the
six recipients of theprestigious Trainings New Guard
for her ability to inspireothers with her passion,
(01:33):
determination, and success.
Welcome to the show, MaryElizabeth.
SPEAKER_00 (01:38):
Thank you, Lisa.
I am thrilled to be here and tobe a part of your podcast and
reach and reach women who are inleadership.
SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
I love it.
Well, um, you came highlyrecommended from a friend that
we just that I just met, Tara.
So um, and she glowed about you.
So I'm excited to hear a littlebit more about your story.
Good.
All right.
So one of the first things welove to ask is just a little bit
about yourself.
But really, what we're lookingfor is a pivotal moment in your
(02:07):
journey that maybe changedthings.
And I'm excited because I don'tknow you, and I'm like, oh,
maybe like hearing Tara Brownwas a HR for 30 years, and then
now she's a like comediantraveling the world.
So yeah, sort of looking forthat pivotal moment in your life
along your journey.
SPEAKER_00 (02:24):
Yeah, I you know, um I when you've lived this much
life, there's quite a fewpivotal moments along the way in
the journey.
And so um, I guess I would sayuh in the beginning, I was I I
started into training anddevelopment, uh having um come
(02:45):
out of owning a gift basket andballoon decorating business.
My career prior to that was inmarketing, um, and I uh decided
to go into training because Ihad this experience of traveling
around and and training indifferent businesses and and
different people, and I wantedto be my own boss, and the
(03:09):
organization was having a adownsizing, and I was one of the
last ones hired, so that'sgenerally the first one let go,
right?
Um, so that worked out, but Ididn't know exactly how to do it
or how to get started, and so umI had three different sources,
and this is this is where thisspiritual my faith side comes
(03:34):
into it, which is the um trust,just trust in God and He will
direct your paths, right?
Uh, and that's not always aneasy thing to do, uh,
particularly when you've beenlaying on the couch for a few
too many weeks, and Hagen Dazhas become your friend or Ben
and Jerry's or pick pick andflavor.
(03:54):
You're making it real, MaryElizabeth.
unknown (03:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
Well, you asked Pivotal.
So I had three differentsources.
My father, um, my then uhboyfriend, now husband, and then
my best friend all pointed me toa woman who was doing a program
on um on public television, andthen there was a newspaper
(04:20):
article about her, and I reachedout to her, and she pointed me
to the woman who then became mymentor for many, many years.
And in fact, she's still aliveand she still shows up every
once in a while to encourage meand keep me going.
So that was the first pivotalmoment.
There's been a few more sincethen, uh, but I'm gonna pause
(04:40):
there for a minute and see ifthat uh fits for you.
SPEAKER_01 (04:44):
So, um, in regards to your mentor, um, meeting her
for the first time, becausepeople I I would love to hear
you talk more about asking forhelp.
Because I'm just saying you weregoing from a few weeks off,
watching TV, dog and hog anddaws, you know, and then people
are putting this person in frontof you, and you call her.
What was that conversation?
SPEAKER_00 (05:06):
So she actually didn't turn out to be the
mentor, which is interesting.
Okay, she shared with me thatshe was very, you know,
flattered, and that she hadbuilt her business for her
family, and she's also she hadalso done a lot of work with
women.
Her name is Mary Kay Sloakowski,and Mary Kay said, I'm going to
(05:28):
point you to Sandy Carn becauseI believe that Sandy will be a
better resource for you.
And if she's not, come back tome.
Okay.
So that's how I met Sandy.
And I think to your point,sometimes it is all about just
having the courage to ask.
Yeah.
(05:48):
And then trust where you'rebeing directed.
SPEAKER_01 (05:51):
Yeah.
And and to trust thoseconnections.
Like, you know, the first personmay not have Mary Kay may not
have been the person, but sheconnected you to Sandy, you
know, and just trust thatprocess and go, okay, that's not
a wall.
That is a door to open.
And yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
Now we love to talk about best.
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
Do you have any more pivotal moments that were, I
mean, well, so there's two more,and the one that got me to Tara,
um, I think two two kind of bigones.
Um, so the second one was justbuilding the business.
And I and maybe those aren'tquite as pivotal as um as as the
last one, where I met actually,where I met Tara Brown.
(06:35):
When you own your own businessor when you are in leadership,
there's a lot of ups and downs.
One thing that is is againironic and I believe very
god-led, is when I moved here toNorth Carolina uh and was
building my career and buildingmy relationships and building my
business, I also was uh electedas president of our American
(07:00):
Training and Development chapterhere in North Carolina in
Charlotte.
And that was a very interestingexperience.
And at the same time, I also wasasked to be president of our
business and professionalwomen's chapter.
So over a span of uh like 16, 18months, I was president of two
organizations, which taught me alot about I used to call myself
(07:23):
the accidental leader.
Like I didn't know quite howthat happened.
Um, and and then I along the waywrote my book, Reset Your
Buttons.
Okay, now that little backstoryhas something to do with uh my
third pivotal moment, which hasbeen in the last four years when
(07:44):
I lost my best friend from highschool to ovarian cancer.
And as I was entering into thisdecade and having losing her, I
I was headed back for the couch.
Let's let's say that.
And and it was a it was a veryheavy time.
We had come out of the pandemic.
(08:05):
Um, she actually passed while wewere coming out of, I think,
like the second pandemic.
Um, and I honestly didn't knowwho I was or who I wanted to be
anymore, if that makes sense.
And I'm sure there's women outthere who have felt that at some
point in time.
And so I asked my wonderfulhusband if he would go to the
(08:30):
National Speakers Association,Carolina's chapter, was having
their annual meeting at theSpeedway Club.
My husband's an ASCAR fan, sothat was a pretty easy yes.
Not that he wouldn't have saidyes anyway.
And so we went to the SpeedwayClub, and Tara was actually
performing that night uh becauseshe had won the uh or in
(08:54):
addition to the fact that shehad won the Jeannie Robertson
award.
And I met her and I met LarryLong Jr.
And I met Michelle McCowanCampbell.
And as that, as that timeprogressed in that in those
relationships, I f I was I wasfeeling like I was being walked
(09:16):
back into my life because oftheir faith and friendship and
their faith in me as well.
Yeah.
It just helped me to, and ofcourse, my husband and and other
people, it it helped me to to toget back up on my legs again, is
really how I felt about it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:35):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (09:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
The connection is amazing that you just shared.
The story is amazing and and howall of it comes together.
And and we And now I'm here withyou.
And we've had a podcast withthose other people, and they're
all lovely.
And I think of who we surroundourselves with.
And at the time you went to themeeting, you didn't know them,
and then you came out of it, andnow look, you know, look where
we are today surrounding.
(09:58):
I feel like that's leader impacta bit.
Leader impact, we have groupsmeeting around the world, and
people didn't know each other,but we we come together and we
support because leadership'slonely, and to have other people
that are dealing with it, andand all those you can't talk to
everyone about your leadershipstruggles.
So to have that group of people,yeah, like Larry.
SPEAKER_00 (10:18):
And and and they may have shared this with you.
How we really came together was,and again, ways to find my legs
again, so to speak, was Larrywas the incoming president of
our NSA Carolinas chapter.
So I was asked to serve on hisboard, Tara was asked to serve
on his board, and then Michelleserved with me on my on the
(10:41):
committee that I oversaw.
So, and we shared together in alearning experience that also
brought us together before weeven started on the board.
So I agree with you.
It's it's it's finding that umif you don't have the courage to
walk in the room, get somebodyto walk in the room with you.
SPEAKER_01 (11:02):
Oh, good one.
I'm I'm just doing apresentation on sponsorship, and
that if if you're not in theroom, I'll I'll take you in the
room with my, you know, I willsay, have you heard of Mary
Elizabeth?
She's this.
Yeah, yeah.
I love that.
It's a great point.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we're gonna move on to thesecond question of best
principle of success.
If you have one, you know, umwhat you live by every day, but
(11:25):
your best principle of successand a story that might
illustrate that.
SPEAKER_00 (11:31):
Hmm.
I'm not sure about a story, butI'll I'll I'll give I'll give
you maybe two best principles.
All right.
One was just given to merecently, I was reminded of.
So I've always believed thatwhen you're in a volunteer
leadership role or anyleadership role, your job is to
raise up other leaders.
(11:52):
That's that's the that's why I'mhere.
I'm here to help other leaders,you know, rise up so that they
can do their work in the world,whether that was business and
professional women, Americantraining and development, which
is now American talentdevelopment.
Um, now again, being back, oh,that was the other pivotal
(12:12):
moment.
I I'm now president again on theATD Carolinas or Charlotte
board, uh, with with which willbring to my uh another
principle, which a good friendgave to me.
I'm kind of being a littlescattered here for a minute, so
let me let me get clear.
So I believe that we shouldraise up other leaders.
(12:35):
That's our job.
If you're in a leadership role,your job is to raise up other
leaders and also to help peopleget to where where wherever they
want to be.
But we all have leadershipability and capabilities.
Um, and a friend of mine, whenthis situation happened where I
became president again of ourATD Carolinas chapter, she had
(12:58):
been on my board back in theday, 20 years prior, and she
said, just remember all thelessons you have learned since
then, since we sat around thattable trying to figure out what
to do to where you are now andwhat you know, and hold that as
your anchor what as you'retaking on this role this time.
(13:22):
So I think there's something tobe, or I know there's something
to be said for what did youlearn along the way?
And and when I talk abouttrusting God to lead my path,
and I'm not always, you know,I'm not always great at it.
When I do, if you think aboutthe I, you know, I I didn't want
(13:45):
to walk into the Speedway Clubby myself.
My husband walked me in.
Um, I I met these wonderfulpeople.
I met Larry Long.
I hadn't met Tara or Michelle atthat point.
I was asked to be on the board.
Oh well, well, I had seen Taraperform.
Um I then got my legs under meto begin to be a better leader
(14:07):
again.
I've I was reacquainted withmyself and my ability to do it.
And now I'm the president of theATD Charlotte chapter.
Yeah.
Not because I was searching forit.
SPEAKER_01 (14:21):
Yeah.
I think a lot of women willcould resonate with that uh as
we step away.
We step away from our ourcareers for different reasons.
If it's to raise a family, uh,you know, whatever that is, if
you're a caregiver, um we stepaway, and when we come back, we
don't know what we're good at.
We we don't have, you know, andwe had those skills.
(14:42):
We know we did.
We just we need we need somesupport, we need some friends,
we need someone to go to give usa chance to put our name in the
room and everything you've said.
SPEAKER_00 (14:51):
And we need to be reminded.
Yeah.
You know, I think that's a bigpart of it too, Lisa, is to be
given the opportunity, becausethat's what that those pivotal
moments were about, is I wasgiven the opportunity to be
reminded of what I'm capable ofdoing.
Yeah.
And and what I have done.
(15:11):
Yeah.
Good.
SPEAKER_01 (15:13):
So this kind of leads in when you've talked
about taking what you learnedalong the way.
I'm pretty sure there was somefailures along the way, some
mistakes.
I'm wondering if you have if youhave one that you could share
and what you learned from it.
SPEAKER_00 (15:28):
Yeah, I'm not sure if it's a well, there's there's
many mistakes of uh for for someof us, not all of us, but
especially when you own your ownbusiness with where do I invest
my, you know, what are thethings I need to invest my money
in?
Memberships, learning,conferences, products, all those
things.
Uh so that that can be achallenge and probably a
(15:51):
conversation for another day.
Um, I think about when I wroteReset Your Buttons.
So it took me seven years towrite all less than a hundred
pages of that book.
Um and I I don't know if this isanswering your question or not,
Lisa, because I don't know ifagain, I don't know if I should
(16:15):
have done it faster.
No, was it done, you know?
Yeah, if it was done, if I if mybelief is to follow God's
perfect timing, then it was donein the in the timing that it was
supposed to be done in.
Uh it starts out.
I talk about when I was young,that my mother always said, Why
do you let people push yourbuttons?
(16:37):
And the unfortunate part, andmaybe you know, this is part of
it, is she passed before I wasable to finish and publish the
book.
So I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
I don't know if that's a that is really good.
Yeah, I think that you know, youjust said it took seven years to
write the book.
I I want to believe that uhanything that happens in my life
when there's a a good thing or aand even though it's a fail,
it's a failing or a mistake, Ilearned from it.
You know, so I always walk awaywith a positive, and I well,
(17:11):
okay, I don't always.
I really, I really work hard atlike, okay, what what am I to
learn here?
This this I'm in the suck, as Icalled it.
Um, and you know what, youdidn't get a book written in
seven years, but it wasn't meantto be written in seven in four
years.
unknown (17:26):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
There was something that you needed to learn to
experience, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (17:31):
I mean, I'm not a counselor, so I shouldn't be no,
but I think you're right becausethere are so many things that
made that model method andmindset so important.
And when I wrote it, it helpedme to write it as this is I I
want this to be, you know, wecall them coffee table books,
but I want this to be a bookthat and people have told me
(17:52):
this that I can keep on mynightstand and reference when I
need it, when I need to bereminded.
And uh, I have a plan to towrite a second book this year.
And people have said, Well, why,you know, why'd you wait so
long?
And I'm like, because I didn'thave anything else to say.
And now I do.
SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
I always wonder about those authors that just
whip off books and you're like,wow, yeah, they have a lot to
say, I guess.
They have a lot to say.
All right.
Well, at Leader Impact, we wantto grow personally,
professionally, and spirituallyfor increasing impact.
So I'm wondering if you'rewilling to share an example on
how the spiritual makes apractical difference in your
(18:35):
life as a leader.
SPEAKER_00 (18:37):
Um, I I again I'm not sure this is practical, but
it's grounding.
Um every odd, every group I'vehad the privilege of speaking
to, whether it's training, uh,conference, you right now, uh, I
(18:57):
I believe in with everythingwithin me that is that's a God
moment.
Because there's too much thathas to go into You met Tara.
You and I to bring us together,there's a there's there's God's
(19:18):
reason for doing that.
And I'm not always, you know,catch me in the grocery store on
a bad day.
I'm not remembering that all thetime, right?
Or somebody cuts me off intraffic.
But that's the that's my frame.
So ask me that question again,and I'm gonna I'm gonna attempt
to answer it through that frame,if that's helpful.
SPEAKER_01 (19:38):
So I'm just wondering if you uh have an
example of how the spiritualmakes a practical difference in
your life as a leader.
SPEAKER_00 (19:45):
So the practical side of that is that when I get
cremogeny about, you know, likeI I I have to start early in the
morning with a client, or youknow, I've been I'm gonna be
standing on concrete for 12hours, or the the practical for
me is always remembering what ittook to get those that person,
(20:09):
those people in front of me.
That's my practical application,and it's also my practical
application when I am when I amin the doubt to I I wear a I
started wearing a necklace uhyears ago, I wore just a mustard
seed.
Like I took a little mustardseed and I put it in a little
(20:30):
heart locket because of what Iwas going through in my life,
and I've always believed thathave the faith of a mustard
seed, right?
Um and and so so that's mypractical application is that
when I'm in doubt, when I'm infear, when it's not going the
way I think that it needs to, Ijust remember that's that's I
(20:53):
just need that much faith to getme through these next few
moments, and beautiful,wonderful, miraculous things can
happen.
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good.
I love the mustard seed.
I don't think I don't think Iknow anyone who wears a mustard
seed.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
I I know I wanted I wanted something.
Well, again, I have that fromthe past, and then and when I
started thinking about what didI want to wear, I was like,
yeah.
And this this little one happenactually has a little mountain
in it, so it's like scaling amountain and you know, a couple
little things like that we canapply.
SPEAKER_01 (21:26):
Yeah, and I bet it's a great conversation piece.
People go like, what are youwearing?
SPEAKER_00 (21:30):
No one ever notices.
It's so no one ever notices.
No, it's okay, though.
It's okay.
It's yeah, you know, good, Iknow, and that's the practical
application as well, right?
I know I know.
SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, I love it.
So at Leader Impact, we'rededicated to leaders having a
lasting impact.
So as you continue to movethrough your own journey, your
many pivotal moments, have youconsidered what you want your
faith legacy to be when youleave this world?
SPEAKER_00 (21:58):
I it it's funny because I I'm calling this my
legacy chapter, so I appreciatethat question on many levels.
Um, I I believe that that resetyour buttons is is a big part of
that, knowing because the t thetag um subtitle to it is in
(22:18):
create relationships that work.
So my legacy, I I hope that mylegacy is that everything we've
talked about already today, thatI've helped to raise up other
leaders who have learned tobecome better leaders, and that
they know how to reset theirbuttons when those buttons get
pushed, so that they are clearand that they do ask.
(22:44):
This is the other practicalapplication, is that every
morning I ask to have um eyes tosee, ears to hear, and words to
speak, that that God would haveme see, hear, and speak.
Um and again, not always perfectat that.
But that's that that that's myguidance.
(23:05):
That's that's what helps me.
SPEAKER_01 (23:08):
I love when people admit because sometimes you're
you know, uh, I host a a talkshow in Regina, I'm on you know
in my city, I'm on TV, and Ithink everyone just expects you
to be perfect.
So when when we haveconversations like this and we
like I am not, and anyonelistening, I'm not.
And I so thank you for justalways you're saying that you
(23:29):
know we we were we are workingvery hard to do things right,
and sometimes we fail.
And we know that the moment wasthat was the moment we lived,
moving on, you know.
That was we were supposed to bethere for a lesson, a learned,
yeah.
That's it.
Yeah.
Well, my final question for you,Mary Elizabeth, is what brings
you the greatest joy?
SPEAKER_00 (23:51):
Oh, other people's success.
That's easy.
One other people's success.
Yeah, just just seeing otherpeople deliver in you know, in
the speaker world, seeing otherpeople deliver great messages
that move an audience, um,reading a really good book, uh,
watching the chosen, uh,inviting someone to uh uh we the
(24:14):
church we subscribe to is inAtlanta, it's North Point Church
with Andy Stanley, who's CharlesStanley's son.
Um having family, introducingthem to him or one of his
sermons and um having peopleenjoy it, right?
I think that's um that's thethat's the effervescence of
(24:37):
life, right?
SPEAKER_01 (24:38):
It is.
Yeah.
Okay, so let's go back to AndyStanley.
SPEAKER_00 (24:44):
You know him?
I don't know him personally, um,but he is he started a church in
um, oh, I'm gonna get thiswrong.
Uh I'm gonna no, I don't thinkit's Marietta, Georgia, but it's
in Georgia, okay.
Um not far from Atlanta, and andyou know he's Charles Stanley's
(25:04):
son, right?
No.
So Charles Stanley is so I wasborn and raised Catholic.
Um and along the way I foundAndy doing a it was a television
thing uh that I happened on oneone night, and my husband and I
started watching him, and he andhe gives very practical advice.
And his church, the church thatthey're built that they have
(25:27):
built and that they areexpanding, um, which is called
the uh I'm sorry, Lisa, I justdid not have enough coffee this
morning.
Um I I want to say it's theinspirational church network,
but that's not right.
Irresistible, it's theirresistible church network.
Okay.
This church is North Point.
(25:47):
Um, but they have one thathere's their mission that
following Jesus make can makeyour life better.
Make you better at life, makeyou better at life, and and make
your life better.
I mean, working with vision andmission statements forever with
clients, I'm like, that's asimple, easy one, practical that
(26:07):
I can follow, right?
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
Yeah, yeah.
Um, for anyone listening, uh, II Andy Stanley, look him up, is
all I'll say.
Like he is so good.
His books, his videos, you canfind so much on him.
And yeah, so I'm glad youbrought up that name.
He yeah, he's he's a good one.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
Yeah, North Point Church on Sundays.
You can watch it online.
SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
Okay, that sounds good.
Uh Mary Elizabeth, I want tothank you for taking time out of
your very busy day.
It was hard to track you downand and thank your assistant for
me for working us back andforth.
Um, now if anyone wants toconnect with you, find out more
about your book or anything,just how can they connect with
you?
SPEAKER_00 (26:47):
Uh they can find the book on Amazon or they can go to
our resetyourbuttons.comwebsite.
And if they want to order anautograph book, they can do that
there.
Uh, and our my business is StarResources, which stands for
Strategic Teams AchievingResults.
Okay.
And that's starresources.net.
SPEAKER_01 (27:06):
Okay.
Well, Mary Elizabeth, you'vebrought joy to my life.
I love being here, hearingpeople's stories, and just and
just being allowed to share.
So thank you for joining us heretoday.
Just we so appreciate you.
SPEAKER_00 (27:17):
Thank you.
Thank you for what you're doing.
SPEAKER_01 (27:19):
All right, thank you.
All right, well, to all of you,if you're part of Leader Impact,
you can always discuss or sharethis podcast with your group.
And if you are not yet part ofLeader Impact and would like to
find out more and grow yourleadership, find our podcast
page on our website atleaderimpact.ca.
You can also check out groupsavailable in Canada at
Leaderimpact.ca.
Or if you're listening fromanywhere else in the world,
check out LeaderImpact.com orget in touch with us by email.
(27:42):
Info at LeaderImpact.ca, and wewill connect you.
And if you like this podcast,please leave us a comment, give
us a rating or review.
This will help other globalleaders find our podcast.
Thank you for engaging with us.
And remember, impact starts withyou.
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