Let's Just Face It

Let's Just Face It

If you’ve been struggling in your relationship, there could be more to it than meets the eye. I’m your host Rakel Colina and for years I was in a very toxic relationship, which I didn’t recognize as abusive until the day I left. I am here to help you take a look and recognize their abusive patterns and behaviors, but this is not just about them. Let’s just face it is not only about seeing through their masks, but about helping you see through the issues that could be holding you back from being the best version of you. Ladies, let’s tear down the walls that could be holding you back from moving forward and living your best life, even after abuse. “Facing small fears can lead to big changes” – Rakel Colina

Episodes

June 23, 2022 15 min

Have you ever felt that you seem to be falling into the same kind of toxic relationships? Does it seem that everyone you meet seems to have the same kind of toxic traits or seems very familiar with the previous one?

At times we seem to fall into a pattern of finding the same type of people over and over and in this episode, I can tell you why. I will be talking about the three main reasons why we keep repeating the same patterns an...

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I have a message tugging in my heart for you. I believe the media is trying to tell the victims of domestic abuse that no one will be believed because ONE woman lost her case against a powerful man, as they want to portray it.

The message is clear, but it's not the message the media is showing. The media is showing that a woman should be believed no matter what. The media is saying that only women can be victims and men cannot....

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It seems everywhere I go, we are all Team Johnny. In this episode, I go into detail as to why I believe that is. This trial has been more than a trial about one of our favorite all-time starts being put on the stand. This trial has been about how a man came forward to talk about abuse. It has given many a new view on what abuse/ domestic violence is. Abuse has no gender, and that has to be the message. #MENTOO

For information about...

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Today's episode is more on the Johnny vs Amber story, but today I will talk about the smear campaign she has created and what we see in the court, on the internet, and in research.

I'm going to be digging a little deeper into what a smear campaign consists of and what it looks like. We are being bombarded with a smear campaign right before our eyes and it seems like the perfect teaching moment.

**Stay until the end for a re...

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In today's episode, I talk about what's going on in the court with Johnny Depp. I am not talking about his defamation trial, but going over what has been brought up during the past couple of weeks.

As you might already know, his ex-wife wrote a piece about the abuse she endured during her relationship with him. During the past few weeks in court, there has been a lot of evidence submitted to prove that he was in fact the vi...

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April 21, 2022 15 min

When you leave an abusive, toxic narcissistic relationship, you tell yourself "I wish you would have seen it." "I wish you would have seen the red flags." "I wish I would have noticed what was going on in my relationship."

I was so stupid that I couldn't see who he was or what he was doing to me, but let me tell you something, it's very simple... There's no way the unhealed version of you could h...

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April 14, 2022 18 min

Our homes are supposed to be where we feel safest but for some of us, that's not the case. It can be very daunting to love a person that doesn't make you feel you are safe when they are in your surroundings. I know exactly how this feels but leaving is not always the best option, at the time.

Most of the time you have to make the moves while your partner is unaware. This exit strategy plan has been created with the basic ne...

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April 7, 2022 18 min

You don't need closure. The closure will put you in harm's way, but will never get you what you need. You're not dealing with a person that has a personality disorder and will not function as you. When you seek closure you are searching for reason and explanations that this person cannot give you, but you are putting yourself in a place to be pulled into another cycle of abuse.

You know how hard it was to leave, don'...

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I used to think that mental health referred to as having mental issues. It referred to people that suffered from things like schizophrenia, PTSD, hallucinations, or any personality disorders. Maybe because of the way I was brought up, I never thought of mental health as something that we all have to take care of and something that is normal to think about. I never thought of anything like this until my mental health started to decl...

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Last Friday was March 18th and for the first time in many years, it came to mind that it was the day I left my toxic relationship. Mentally and emotionally I had left months ago, but physically I was still there. I was not taking any of his love-bombing, nor trying to connect in any way, but I was still there.

Women leave a relationship a long time before they actually walk away and even though it takes a lot to walk out. When we a...

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March 17, 2022 19 min

I am staying for the kids. A lot of times we make the wrong decision, stay in a relationship because of our kids. Because we believe that it is better for them to have two parents together. Then just be pushed around from one parent to another parent.

The thing is that that is not always the case. Sometimes we stay for the kids. Because we have no idea of what else to say or what else to do. Some people actually think that because ...

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Hoovering is also known as emotional blackmail as part of the emotional abuse provoked by a narcissist, it happens when they think they're losing control of you. It's an attempt to reactivate the connection to make you engage with them once again for another cycle of abuse.

The name hoovering comes from Hoover, the vacuum cleaner brand. Meaning the narcissists sucks the happiness out of you to fuel their supply. It may look...

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March 3, 2022 14 min

I had somebody comment on my Instagram page that said to stop demonizing the narcissist, to stop talking bad about them. Well, The only thing that I can believe is that this was another narcissist on the other end and he or she felt that they were attacked and they didn't like it. I said, if this is not something you believe in, you can just scroll away, because this is the thing; there's a lot of trolls out there and they ...

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February 23, 2022 15 min

The reason why I decided to talk about this today is that I had a memory triggered. I heard someone on TikTok talk about the same topic and all of a sudden I had a rush of memories and I needed to bring this out to you.

I never realized how an abuser could use a fast car as part of the abuse patterns. I don't think I even noticed it until it happened to me in a manner that was more open and clearer in my mind. Due to the nature...

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Our intuition is also referred to as our gut feeling. It's our body trying to tell us, without our own awareness, the mental process of this information. This is something that we all have inside of us and we have to learn to listen to it because it was built in us for a reason. Our intuition is here is to guide us to better paths, but because it doesn't fit what we want or what we see, we tend to ignore it. What we have to...

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In this episode, I talk about the last vacation I took and how I unknowingly took my narcissistic ex along with us. My ex seems to still want to know where I am and with whom. Since I started spending time with someone else, he decided he needed to keep tabs on me. The funny thing is how he did it. He'll go through anyone just to get what they want and don't care who he drags along for the process.

He tried to be slick and ...

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February 3, 2022 13 min

Healing requires isolation, the problem is that we go through different childhood traumas and toxic, abusive relationships, but we have no idea that we need to isolate ourselves to heal. You need people to support you in your journey, but you need to take the time to isolate yourself to be able to process the things that are happening inside you and around you. Even though it may sound like a contradiction you need your support jus...

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Today's episode brings a very special guest, Leticia Blaque. We met online and I just fell in love with her story. We tend to believe that abuse is a certain way and at times we believe that it's only happening to us, but Leticia has a very different story because her story begins when she was very young. The trauma that she experienced within her own family unit took her on a spiral that affected her decisions from a very ...

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January 20, 2022 14 min

He thinks it's your fault!. You deserve the abuse because you allow it. You keep putting up with the abuse you don't even realize is going on, but because of that, you allow it. Most of the time when you're in the abuse, you don't seem to quite understand what is going on. Therefore are not open to seeing the abuse because you're confused and made to feel like you're going crazy and everything is your fault.

...

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January 13, 2022 14 min

Did you know that abusive behavior is a choice? Think about this. You think it's because they can't control themselves and that's why they act with you like that. Right? Well, let me ask you this, how is it that they're not abusive at their jobs or with their friends? Or just when they go out in public? It is as simple as that.

They most likely will be pretending to be something totally different to the outside worl...

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