March 24, 2024 • 42 mins
These are recorded Live events- no editing just pure unadulterated, unfiltered FUN! Catch us LIVE Tuesdays at 10am PST on the Tube, Big I, The FB or the link in bio!
Starting with-Anal Sex
Are you ready to strip away the stigma and dive into a world of sexual enlightenment? That's what you'll get as my fabulous guest Shiloh and I, Stephanie, embark on a no-holds-barred journey through the pleasures and practicalities of anal play, starting with 'A' for anal. We're busting myths wide open and spreading the truth about protection and HIV transmission risks, all while keeping it cheeky and light-hearted.
This episode isn't just about debunking the taboos; it's a treasure trove of tips for safe and sensational backdoor adventures. We get real about the importance of communication, the magic of relaxation, and how a touch too much liquor can derail the fun. You'll get the lowdown on anatomy, particularly that muscle that everyone's afraid to stretch, and we lay out the facts on hygiene that'll keep things spick and span for everyone involved. Women, we're looking at you, too—ditch the shame and discover how exploring this final frontier can lead to astronomical pleasure!
Finally, we shine a spotlight on the joy button that men might be neglecting—yes, gentlemen, we're talking about your prostate. Shiloh and I reveal the orgasmic and health benefits that come with a bit of exploration down under. From cultural attitudes to practical how-tos, you'll be equipped with everything you need to potentially tap into a new realm of ecstasy. Whether you're in a relationship or playing solo, let's get comfortable with getting a little uncomfortable and redefine what it means to get down and dirty.
#sextalka-z #analsex #shilohhobby #loveyourO
12/30/23
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, you know, it's a good thing that I'm very new
to this and we're testing it outand look at, I didn't do so bad
, you did not Winning.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm gonna say winning .
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Well, okay, you know, I'm so happy that we're
starting our lives today,Tuesday On the 19th of March.
What a beautiful day.
Happy birthday, cousin.
I love you, my cousin Karen.
Happy birthday and happybirthday to anybody else who's
(00:37):
out there.
So we'll start seeing commentsand people joining and All right
, so, thank you.
We're back here today to talklet's talk about sex.
I am Stephanie, your host, andI have Shiloh hobby with love,
your, oh, thank you, shiloh, forjoining me.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Hi, stephanie, thank you for having me.
I'm super excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And, of course, the funniest topic is sex talk a to
z, love.
That that's so cool.
I mean, here's the deal, noone's.
I mean people are starting totalk about sex.
It's starting to come out andit's awesome.
So if we can just take on onetopic at a time a to z and, like
(01:21):
we talked about today we coulddo after sex talk, we could just
do BDM, bdsm, a to z, all thoseother ones to really help
educating people, because that'sreally what we're about.
And what.
People want to know.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
People want to know.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
It's so funny because , ok, I'm out.
On the other night I went outby myself.
My mom said, for St Patty's Day, go, go out by yourself, meet
some friends, have a beer.
I had the best time.
I went by myself.
I left with 12 friends somemarriage proposals, some FD WB
(02:01):
proposals, other proposals.
So much fun.
And I will tell you everyone,we were talking about sex.
I said, oh, we're going to betalking about sex live.
And they're like, andeveryone's eyes are like, really
, really like.
People want to know and they'reafraid to ask.
They're afraid to ask.
So, yes, they want to.
(02:22):
You can ask us anything, and soyou can ask us anything Anyone.
I know people are shy, you know, so we may not have very many.
So here I'm going to ask yousome things, because today today
we're doing a is our alphabetfor the day.
I wish I could do a foralphabet.
(02:45):
I'm going to have to get somekind of a for anal, a for anal A
for anal A is renal Anal sex.
I love it.
It's like if we're going tostart, let's start out with a
bang.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Right, I mean let's just get.
I mean we're going to get rightdown and dirty here and let's
just talk about the hard stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I love it Okay, but I have some myths and I want to.
I want your help here.
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
All right, let's talk about some myths real quick,
and then we'll tell you the realstuff.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Okay, cool.
So people?
This is a myth.
People say people who enjoyanal sex are perverted or
wereverted like we are warvertsor they're abnormal.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I mean, I guess, first and foremost, I mean, sex
is a judgment-free zone, youknow, to each their own.
Everybody likes what they like,and anal sex is just another
form of sex.
It's another orgasm waiting tohappen for everyone.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And that's the thing another orgasm waiting to happen
.
I think, when people say, areyou a pervert or you're a
warvert or whatever that is, youknow, because girls are
warverts, as we know, and guysthey call our perverts.
That's what I heard on SlutEver.
I love her, carly.
(04:09):
Anyway, my point is that youknow what?
There's so many variations andthat's what I learned when I
went to San Francisco StateUniversity studying variations
in human sexuality, and that waswhat started my whole life of
wanting to do this.
I saw it all.
I mean guys that liked gotturned on by a pie being thrown
(04:34):
in his face and he brought thepies for us to do All different
kinds of things.
I mean, I could go on and onand on, Even weird little
fetishes and things like that,in which you know, I know Carly
covers a lot.
We will be covering some.
To me.
It's all in the eyes of what weknow and how willing are we
(04:56):
allowed to let our bodies get towhere we really want to be,
which is fully free and open tohave a truly amazing sexual
experience.
We're just not taught that.
So, thank you, you're right.
Okay, we're not taught that.
Oh, anal sex is a sure way toget HIV.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Well, I mean unprotected sex is a sure way to
get HIV.
So I mean you know, I guessthat, taking it in context, I
mean you know, doesn't matterwhich hole you put it in If you
have HIV and you're sharing itwith your partner.
And unprotected sex,unprotected sex, unprotected sex
.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Right Now.
I know the studies show that.
You know, in the anus themembranes are a little bit more
softer or more delicate, so whenthey break and the transmission
of disease, I get all that.
I mean, I worked with AIDSpatients for the first five
years of going to college.
But my point is you're right,you can get it anyway, and that
(06:01):
is called a myth for a reason.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
You know it's, you know it's fed on.
You know the, the scared thing.
I mean.
You know when it did you knowwhen the AIDS epidemic it
started it did start withhomosexual men.
So, that is where that you knowmyth came from.
But ultimately, no, you don'thave to be any sexual
orientation to you know, haveunprotected sex and contract HIV
(06:32):
AIDS.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Exactly Any any.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And that's why talking about the myth, because
we are in a world of what weonly know, what we know, and we
tell that to our kids and to thepeople around us.
And when we know more, we dobetter.
And so now, if we can teachpeople, we can do better in life
.
You know, that's how I look atit.
Absolutely, we don't need touse condoms during anal sex if
(07:03):
you're in a monogamousrelationship.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Well, okay, so I'm not going to call that a myth
no-transcript.
What I will say is that, inregards to condoms, you know,
when you're having anal sex, itis a good protection to use that
, especially since, going backand forth, you don't want to
have, you don't want to go backto penis and vagina sex after
(07:31):
you've had penis and anal sexbecause you're spreading feces.
So that's where the purpose ofa condom can come into play,
because if you use condom whenyou're having, when you're
having anal sex, then you removeit and the penis is still clean
.
You can go back to penis andanal sex.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
So but the other one you could do.
Just FYI, you could also goclean up, which I've seen.
Oh great, you can clean up.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You just don't want to go back and forth immediately
.
Yes, you can go clean up, butyou.
The thing is, you want to makesure that you're cleaning up,
you're clean.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Love it and you're so right because that's perfect.
Okay, here's a myth Anal sexcannot lead to orgasm.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Wrong.
Oh, that's a big old myth.
That's a big old myth.
That's a big old false.
So, yes, there's all kinds ofamazing orgasms that can come
out of that.
So, yeah, I think we're maleand female.
For both, I think we shouldtalk about anal sex.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Okay, we're going to be doing that.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Let's stop talking about myths and start talking
about gross.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
All right, so let's okay.
So then why?
Okay?
I know it's pleasurable, so whydo people find it scary but
pleasurable?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
So I mean I think that you know most females are
most female, most anybody that'shad the penis and vagina sex.
There's been that slip up, andthat slip up was completely and
everybody just kind of cringed Iknow you did because you've all
had it and you're like, oh myGod, were you just like Wrong,
(09:15):
what's up?
Scary.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Scary.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
That's very you know.
So when you think about that,it's like, um no, because that's
the immediate thought thatcomes into your mind when you
think about that.
Right, I mean, if you've neverdone a before or you've never
willingly done it, that's whatyou're thinking about 100%
you're remembering that time.
It's PTSD and it is.
(09:39):
Rightfully so, because itshould hurt it hurt, it hurt, it
hurt it hurt.
There was no preparation, ithurt so and you go, huh.
Yeah, I think that's the memoryeveryone has and and ultimately,
though you know it is taboo, itis, you know, and even
(10:02):
historically speaking you knowwe'll get into some fun
historical facts later on butyou know, even historically
speaking, it's always been, youknow, kind of taboo.
It's never been something thatis just like Okay, you're doing
that and you know it's not.
No, no, it's becoming morerecently, you know, although,
interestingly enough, it isbecoming more popular among the
(10:27):
younger sex people, theteenagers, and what oh why they
are having.
They do that instead of P and Bto avoid pregnancy or, as we
were discussing, to keep theirvirginity intact.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Right, I was mentioning to you that I had a
gentleman that was dating a girland she was in college though
she had never had sex and said,hey, I only do anal.
And he's like what?
Like you?
Only what he goes.
Yeah, I only do anal becauseI'm going to be a virgin for my
(11:08):
husband, and he's like, oh, okay, so yeah, I think that's very
interesting.
I think you're right, peopleare using that as another form.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I think there's more people that are having it.
They don't talk about itbecause it is a taboo.
Yeah, and so that's why we'rehere today, too, to talk about
it, because let's talk about itso you can do safely.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
What are the key things to keep in mind for a
safe and enjoyable experience?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
So initially, first, you know communication, you want
to.
You know this isn't somethingyou're just going to decide that
you're going to do.
You need to.
There's also preparation tothis.
But you want to talk to your,you want to talk to your partner
about this.
You're not just going to dothis.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
This is not just like hey we're doing this.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That's not happening Like you need to.
You need to have a conversationwith them prior to make sure
that they're that they're on thesame page with doing this and
trying this.
You know, you know, have aglass of wine.
You know relax.
Relaxation is for this.
You want to make sure thatyou're very relaxed.
Please don't be trashed.
You don't want to be drunk.
(12:16):
You want to remember.
Plus, you want to be safe andyou know drinking leads to
unsafe activities, especially onthis.
So don't try.
You know when you're drunk.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, it could lead to some not
so pleasant experiences, yeahwhy he wouldn't feel the pain
until the next day, and then itcould be really pain.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Right, it could be.
Yeah, you could definitely dosome damage if you're not,
especially if you're not used toit.
You know you don't.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And it's your first time.
I mean, yeah, you don't want toexperiment with it.
You know being drunk, but yeah,that's the one or two.
You know, just be relaxed.
You know just that.
Because the tensor you are, themore things hurt.
Because because, ultimately,you know the reason why anal sex
, anal play, hurts so much isbecause the sphincter muscle is
(13:02):
designed to keep everything up.
So it keeps all of your organsup, yeah, your intestines, your
stomach, all of that is is keptup and it doesn't fall out
because sphincter musclesthey're keeping it all in.
Interesting, because I mean youthink about, you think about
the body and how it works.
I mean your waist is coming out, yeah.
So you know you have thesphincter muscle very, very
(13:25):
tight.
So relaxation is key.
You want to be relaxed, youwant communication to happen.
Lubrication is the other shunword that we need.
So we have preparation,communication, lubrication.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Okay, well, let's talk about the prep work.
So we got the communicationdown, we're going to sit down,
we're going to have aconversation about how we're
going to do this and in thatconversation we're going to talk
about prep.
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
So you know, I mean you know, you definitely want to
.
You know, I think one of thebig things that comes up is, you
know, obviously the mess, right, I mean you're, we're talking
about that, we're talking aboutthe rack down.
This is where the poop comesout.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So it's not a very pleasant area, but if it's
cleaned out, before you do.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
But so I mean there's .
There are some things.
So one, most natural If you usethe restroom, you have your,
you have your bowel movement andwhen you wipe, if it's clean,
your tract is clean.
If you have any residue onthere, if you have any residue
whatsoever on there, your tractis not clean.
But okay, no residue, it'sclean.
(14:33):
Amazingly enough, the body, thehuman body, is an amazing,
amazing machine.
Y'all.
You know we know that, we knowthat the vagina is self cleaning
and kind of does its own, youknow, takes care of everything
down there and and takes, yes,balancing everything out and
making everything amazing, right, well, the rectum is kind of
the same way, you know, and thefact of like it does actually,
(14:56):
it's actually very clean.
Yeah, I was actually surprisedto hear that, because it was
just like so, like you're likeit's so disgusting.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Okay, all right, so, but anyhow, yeah, so fun facts
Also so.
And then you know if the trackisn't clean, if so, if you're
worried, so you know.
And if you are worried, I meanI will say you know there's
always going to be, you know,the chance of there's being some
feces, I mean in your backdoorplay.
This is what you're messingwith, right?
(15:25):
This is what you're hoping forthere's also, but there are also
the anal duchess, which isessentially just taking water
and like shooting up your buttto rinse it all out and clean it
all out.
So there's that, so you canalso do that to.
You know, be extra, extra, yeah, so Okay, that's good, okay, so
we got the prep down.
(15:47):
We got the prep.
So you're gonna talk to yourpartner about this and you know,
prep it up, it was so yes, soyou're gonna say your
communication, you want to talkto your partner, you want to let
them know.
You know, first and foremost,you know when you're thinking
about trying to talk to anybodyinto doing anything that you
want to try is you want to playup the benefits for them, right?
(16:08):
So Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
And so here's.
The thing is that I you'rereally this is good, because a
lot of women would not in theirbrain because of the PTSD that
we had.
Does not correlate that to fun,to oh yeah, I'm gonna have
pleasure at when you're doingthat, that that they're.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Oh, and they've seen porn, yeah.
And then like I mean, you know,and they're like no, like
there's no way in the world thatanybody is going to do that to
me.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So I mean, honestly, we've done a really horrible job
at showing women that theydon't want to do this shit.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So no, I mean you know, it's kind of out there.
So OK.
So well, why for women?
So should we talk about womenor men first?
Well, let's talk about womenfirst.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
No, because I want to talk about men and I love that
you want to talk about that,because I'm big on the prostate
massage, for and I'm big on that.
But but back to the female,because I want to get them more
relaxed about wanting to atleast try it, ok.
So here's, here's a prep that Ithink that you I'd love you to
mention, if they can work on notgetting that in their mind and
(17:24):
then maybe they work on numbingthat area.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
So there are not necessarily numbing, but there
are relaxation creams that dowork and that help with and that
will help with relaxing thatmuscle to make it more
comfortable.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I heard oral gel.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Ok Swear, somebody says oral gel, I'm like all
right, I know that I would wantoral gel on my vote, OK.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I've done it.
I've done it.
It was fine, it numbed it andmy point is that just relax
yourself, you know relaxing.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You know I like the and actually like I will say you
know, not a plug for any brandsor anything but pure romance
has a booty ease which is arelaxing cream and it is I.
I think in comparison to someof the other brands out on the
market, you love it Much better.
Ok, from a relaxed standpoint,so that's great.
(18:21):
Just a thought on that.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
But OK, and we're, and she's not selling, we're
just telling you yes.
So If that's a great one, holdon one more Cation Lubrication.
Sorry, I beeped out for aminute.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Oh, lubrication is very, very important.
So here's the thing aboutlubrication yes, and the one
thing that the key factor aboutlubrication that you need to
keep in mind is that not alllubrication is is equal.
Not all lubrication is createdthe same.
There are two separate, thereare two different kinds of
lubrication.
So here's our quick lubricationand everyone.
So we have a normal, everydayplay, great for water, water
(19:05):
based lubricant.
The other type of lubricantthat we have is our silicon
lubricant.
Silicon based lubricant isgoing to stay on top of the
tissues, whereas a water basedtissue or water based lubricant
is going to absorb into thetissues.
You do not want your lubricantto absorb into your tissues if
you are having water, if you arehaving anal play, the reason
(19:28):
being is it will dry up and itwill not be comfortable, right?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
More lubrication is always better.
So a silicon lubricant isdefinitely your best bet.
It is going to stay on top ofthe tissue.
It is not going to absorb in.
It is going to make it much,make it slippery, like it should
be.
Right.
And you know and this is wherecommunication is is really key
(19:54):
you know if you need morelubricant, you know you need.
You know you can tell yourpartner where lubricant is
needed.
So definitely definitely a key.
One other thing to you know,just in regards to anal sex and
safety, is it's generallyrecommended to go very, very
slowly and it's about an inchper minute.
(20:17):
So you don't that's interesting.
So you go very slowly to ensure, you know, just to allow that
relaxation to really come in.
You know, but down, just relax,you know, get accustomed to it.
It's a very intimate act.
Honestly, this is somethingthat honestly like for couples
(20:41):
that want to take, takesomething you know, take their
intimacy to the next level.
I mean this is super intimate.
This is very, you know it's.
It's putting a lot of pressureto working together slowly.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
It's not a fast hurry , hurry, hurry.
This is not this kind of thing.
It's not boring.
Slow, yes, yes, slow Workingtogether.
Now here's the thing I wouldn'tsuggest personally, my personal
opinion.
But can you hear anything?
Any noise?
I need a little bit, but notmuch, ok, cool, so we'll just
(21:13):
continue.
Sorry for the noise.
I have tree cutters today, so,anyway, but that's not where we
want to start with the play.
Though you don't want to startan anal, ok, we need to start in
other areas to work it up toget to that point where she's
(21:36):
hot, heavy, juicy, excited,wanting more, because then, when
you get down there and you'redoing your, thing, I mean four
plays, always important.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Okay, it's always important and you definitely
want it.
You want to have.
You want to have your, yourfemale partner, anybody with a
vagina.
You want to have them very,very relaxed, very, very turned
on, very, very Absolutely.
Foreplay is absolutely key.
Like you can't, like you don'tskimp when it comes to.
You cannot skimp if you want,you know.
(22:08):
Like you cannot skimp on any ofno.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Like do whatever you need to figure out her design of
what makes her turned on theroom, the ambiance, the whatever
.
It might take 30 to 40 minutesto get to that place, but you
bet you work that out.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
It might not be the first time.
You know you're gonna start offgradually, you know it's.
You know maybe you are juststarting off a little bit of
fingering.
Maybe you are starting off withlike playing with a toy, you
know, and just kind of rubbing.
You know the, you know justkind of, you know Putting it
along the outside the perimeterand just, you know, gradually
you don't getting those, gettingthose nervous, because the anus
(22:44):
is very, has some very richnerve endings.
So I mean you know you canstart with.
You know you can start, youknow, small and build your way
up to it.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
You know there's yeah , yeah, yeah, just the tip.
And that's really good that yousaid that, because I think that
in you know, that's just bigplayers, some guys, mine.
The minute the girl goes, yeah,let's do anal, that's happened
in that night.
All right, it's happening andthat's it.
And let's just be clear, you'reright, it's not.
If you're just starting out anddoing that play, it's going to
(23:16):
be a.
Possibly it might not happenthat night.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Well, it might not.
You know I mean, and using it's, you know it really truly is.
You know about just making surethat your partner is ready and
making sure that they arerelaxed and making sure that
they do understand that.
You know that it's, you knowthis is, it's intimate, you know
you're listening to them,you're having that trust and,
(23:41):
yes, absolutely um.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
I um From you um one, because we've worked together
now for a couple years, threeyears.
This um what.
Somebody came to me, the anal.
Somebody came to me and wantedto do anal and was afraid
because they were extremelytight and wanted to get it
(24:04):
looser.
And so pure romance.
I actually ordered it for themand pure romance has a kit.
It's like four or five.
Where it's a gradual, you caninsert a trainer.
It's a trainer.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Thank you, that's what that's what you can do.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Trainers.
So I was.
I was like I didn't know whatthey're called.
You can do trainers and whatnot, right?
So those are things that youcan do.
Yeah, yeah, that's really yes.
And the other thing just tokind of I don't know.
Ah, some, I think it's every.
I think girls like the idea ofa double penetration.
(24:41):
So if your man is a big guy andyou're like there's no fucking
way that his cock is going in mybutt, then maybe do a strap on
and have something go in yourbutt, I mean you could do that
stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I mean, I'm the other thing.
The other thing that you can dowith that situation is you can
actually use a male sleeve andput it on him and if it's as
long as it's open-ended you needan open-ended one both ends you
put it on him and then Just getthe little bit oh, because
(25:20):
it'll be a cushion and it'llprevent him from actually
putting the whole thing in.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Oh wow, I never.
That's awesome, see, ladies,there's so many things out there
.
There's things we can.
Yeah, there's, there are thingsyou can make it more
comfortable for sure, exactly,and he's still getting that
control and being able to playwith it, and all of that, which
is awesome.
Oh my god, that's a good one.
Okay, so that's good.
Um, so let's talk about toysreal quick.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Since you brought up toys, let's just talk about toys
and safety.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yes, okay, I don't, I don't want anybody.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I don't want any of our listeners here to end up in
the hospital, the emergency room, because people end up there.
Y'all the stories that you hearis like sending to the ER.
Whatever the stories, you aretrue 100%.
So here's the deal.
Number one rule of thumb withany toys and any anal play,
whatever you are playing withneeds to have either a flat
(26:14):
bottom or it needs to have astring.
The reason being is thatsphincter muscle that's keeping
everything up.
It actually Will suck up whatyou put in there.
People that end up in theemergency room with, you know,
(26:35):
flashlights and shot glasses andand gerbils and light bulbs.
And I read a story about anelectric eel once that Somebody
decided they needed an electriceel.
All surgery was performed, theELA and the person were okay,
(26:56):
just saying it's the reality,people are doing it.
So, and just on that note, Imean that's just to say people
like it.
I mean, look what they're doingfor it.
So can we talk about men?
Now?
Let's talk about men.
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
It's time to talk about women so, and you also
asked actually, what do womenget out of it?
Like the pleasure-wise.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
So the one thing that I wanna yes, please, let's form
that up.
I want women to enjoy this,because it is and you and I
enjoy it and we know becausewe've passed through that PTSD.
But we gotta get the otherwoman past that PTSD point.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
So here's the thing, the clitoris, what we know of
the clitoris like.
Here's my little vagina modelhere.
So this is the clitoris, right,this is the clitoris that you
see.
This is the part of theclitoris that you see.
The part of the clitoris thatyou don't see is internal, and
(27:50):
when we become aroused, theclitoris is made up of the same
tissues that a penis is made upof, and actually can look like
one.
And when we become arousedladies those of you with the
clitoris it becomes aroused.
Fun fact, your clitoris mightbe bigger than his penis.
(28:13):
Just then, Comparisons, theyare something to compare,
Anyways.
Yeah, Mine is bigger than yours, right?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
So oh my God, that's hilarious Cause it's true.
I mean, I've seen some picturesof them and they're huge and
they are behind.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So you know what's really scary and we'll talk
about this another day when wetalk about the clitoris.
But what's really scary, though, is that you know the clitoris
really is.
You know it's behind, you knowit sits behind the labia, it
sits behind, you know it reallyengorges that whole entire area.
So anal play is just gettinganother.
It's another part.
(28:53):
Just like you like doggie styleversus missionary versus
cowgirl versus, you know upsidedown, you know whatever, however
you like, whatever yourfavorite position is yeah, it's
a different penetration and it'sjust getting a different spot.
And, as you mentioned, doublepenetration is very popular,
because then you get thatclitoral vaginal stimulation at
(29:14):
the same time that you'regetting that anal stimulation.
Like all of it is stimulatedand, holy cow, you can have it
in a magnet with an orgasm.
So we just talk about men.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
OK, hold on.
Let me just wrap that up withthe female, so women.
Just imagine having somethingeven better than the clitoral
and the internal orgasm.
Just imagine it being evenbetter.
And so if you can think of itthat it can even be better, then
maybe you'll try it.
(29:45):
So just at least try it once.
I always say to people try itonce.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
OK.
Well, you know, as long as yourpartner is, you know, as long
as you have a partner that'sgoing to take care of you
properly and you have thatcommunication and trust, why not
?
You know it's better than theslip up.
You know it's not like the slipup at all.
The slip up you're not preparedfor and it hurts, but it's not
meant to hurt.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It does.
I mean, it's just no doubtabout it.
Yeah, ok, let's talk about themen, because let's talk about
men, I love it.
And here's the thing it's notjust for heterosexual or for gay
men, as everyone thinks.
So let's just get into this menthing, because they need to get
that prostate cleaned out.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Well, you know, and I will say, you know, just to be
whatever for any of the guyslike for a myth, you know,
that's sure.
One of the myths here that's avery popular myth is like oh,
you know, anal sex is I'm notgay, you know I'm not, I'm not
homosexual.
Well, I just want to look atthe partner that you're with and
make that determination andjust say, you know, well, I mean
(30:50):
, because if you are a male andyou are with a female in a
heterosexual relationship andyou're doing this with a female,
I mean that's not thedefinition of homosexual.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
But I think it's just that stigma of like.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
But it's a stigma.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
you know that the minute you put something in your
butt as a heterosexual male,that makes you a A wolf gay, and
that is a fucking myth.
That's not true.
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's so not true, right?
I mean you can try it and youknow, and if you look at your
best friend differently, I meanyou know, I guess, but I mean
that's you know, that's not,that's not true.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
So, here's what I want to say, what all the
studies and the research I'vedone.
Because you know me I am theone who talks about prostate
massages on a weekly basis formen and because I did all the,
all the, because you were theone who taught me about the
vagina, the clitor, you know,getting the vibrator in the
(31:48):
vagina.
So I took the research a littlefurther and went to the
massagers in the anus and whatthat does for men and the, with
men having 40% of men havingprostate cancer and one of the
biggest reasons is becausethey're not clearing out their
(32:08):
prostate with all the fluidthat's in there.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Interestingly enough, it's funny that you say that,
because there is actually, whileit's not scientifically proven
that prostate massage canprevent prostate cancer, there
is work done that shows.
In Japan there's a subsectionof men that do that and they
(32:35):
have significantly lower numbers, so huge numbers.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Yes, yes, and you're right, and I have these research
studies on my Reddit, so if youwant to read about it, I have
that Japan story.
I have the other ones aboutprostate massage, because I talk
about it.
I even talked about it to mydad, who's 80.
And it's important, though mydad said really he's doing it.
So I'm like my dad is 80 anddoing it.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Well, and you know what, and here's the thing you
know, as men get older, theyhave more issues with their
prostate.
You know, just, you know theydo, they have.
There's a lot of issues thathappen with the prostate and a
lot of them, a lot of thetreatments for them, is prostate
massage.
That's going to leave it.
If you have a little largeprostate, prostate massage.
(33:24):
If you have prostate cytos,prostate massage.
If you have prostate cancer,prostate massage, like so
everything kind of comes down tothis prostate massage.
So can we talk about prostatemassage for a second, gentlemen?
I just want to say Is it okay?
Here's the thing this is.
You know, this is really truly.
I think what it comes down to isyou know, guys have that lack
(33:45):
of room, talk Like everybody'sgot that, every guy has that
friend right that you know thatthis girl stuck her foot where
she was giving me a blow job andlike she stuck her finger and
all of a sudden like, oh my God,you know, amazing, it's just
this crazy orgasm.
Well, you know, the thing aboutprostate massage is that it
does completely expel everythingout, but it increases that
(34:07):
orgasm like eight times, eight,eight times, gentlemen, eight
times you can have an eighttimes stronger orgasm.
Every man.
Well, ladies, if you're lookingto get your men to, you know,
do this.
I look at it as turnabout, asfair play.
It's very, very healthy for himand bonus for him he gets to
(34:28):
use his favorite toy for aslonger.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Yeah, and he was playing with it in the womb.
So just to say how excited heis about it.
They have embryo, they have thelittle fetuses playing with
their little, with their littlepenises in the womb.
So they've been playing withthis forever.
Babies put their baby boys, puttheir hand down their diaper.
They're being no moms, no Mom'sno.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
We had boys, we know yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
So I mean this is a forever and everything.
You know like this is theirfavorite body part ladies Little
prostate massage and he can useit for great toy forever and he
gets an orgasm that's eighttimes stronger.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
It's the most amazing orgasm.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I kind of feel like it's almost not fair, like you
know.
I mean it's entertaining thatit's in their butt.
I will say that I, you and Ihave Thank you, thank you, thank
you to the powers that be,because I mean, you know, we get
the clitoris, which is onlyhere for our, our enjoyment, and
(35:37):
you know the wonderfulness ofof that.
But you know, I said it may.
They don't have to go tochildbirth, they can have an
eight times stronger orgasm byjust massaging the prostate.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, I mean it's exactly.
And when you're doing thatlet's just talk about because
it's not that far in.
You got to make sure you'redoing it right.
I, when I was doing theresearch on that too, it's like
it's it's only like twocentimeters in size yeah.
(36:13):
And it's the size of a walnutand you know a little bit of.
You know if you want to do afinger or the vibration works.
And the other thing I readbecause, as you say, you know
Japan is doing it, it's verycommon.
I had men going, I want one ofthose, and so I started doing
some research and found out thatthe the massage parlors will
(36:40):
actually do a prostate massage,because they don't look at it as
sexual, because they're nottouching the penis, and so you
can actually ask for a prostatemassage at a massage parlors.
Some of them will do that foryou, so you could actually just
write exactly so and it's notsexual, right.
(37:00):
It's considered healthy.
It's considered healthy byreleasing that.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Hey, women used to go to, women used to go to the, go
to the doctor for treatmentsfor a Syria, so I mean, and they
used to use a vibrator.
We got the vibrator.
So I mean, you know, it was all.
It was all because of it wasall because of a little carpal
tunnel.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Exactly Right.
So no, I love taking thatstigmatization away from certain
things.
The other thing that can beplayful and fun that I have
heard of couples doing is thefemale wearing a strap on.
Yeah, pegging, sometimes that'sa fantasy of men.
It's a different type of, youknow, dominance kind of things,
(37:46):
some kind of whatever, and Idon't know.
I mean, I've talked to people,they they like to do that kind
of stuff.
So I think it's all over theplace and, like I said,
nothing's weird, because I thinkwhat?
So long as you're both twoconsenting adults and you're
enjoying each other and you'renot being horribly, you know,
disgusting with each other, thenit's, it's good.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, I mean, as long as you're consenting and it's
okay with you, anything can go.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
I mean, you know, I feel like as long as it's legal
and consenting.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I mean, you know, so we'll, we'll both.
I love it Just for just forkicks.
But you know, into consentingadults, I mean, that's right,
whatever you want to explore, Imean I think that you know we're
adults, you know we get to play.
This is our, this is how weplay this is our playground All
(38:37):
right.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
So any more last minute words that you want to
say about anal, we've done.
Like you know, like we said wewere going to do like 40 minutes
of it.
I think we've covered somereally good topics and some
variations.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Yeah, we talked about some fun myths and yeah, it's
been a lot.
Yeah, I think we've had areally great conversation about
bag door play.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
I think it's been really good and you, you made it
so the way that you communicate.
It's like you, you make it soit's not uncomfortable.
You know what I mean Like it'snot nasty, it's not dirty, do
you know what I mean?
It's like right, and you makeit so.
It's like it's good, it's funto play with each other and
(39:19):
let's play, yeah, so anyways,it's important to play together.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I mean it's important for couples to play.
It is important for partnersLike it is.
It's very important for you toexplore each other and play.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
That's what keeps your relationship healthy.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
That's what relieves the stress.
That's what you work for.
Come on, everything comes downto sex, right?
You know, we work, we work hardso that we can play hard, and
playing hard includes in thebedroom.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Well, as they say, you know the two things that we
are innate about sex, food.
We need food and we need sex.
So if people could just gettheir heads around those kinds
of things.
I mean, I didn't make this up,okay, it's not made up, so, but
(40:07):
anyway.
So yeah, food and sex.
So let's get our heads aroundtalking about it and enjoying it
.
And if we're not with partnersthat we're not enjoying, let's
find a way to do it.
Go to Shiloh.
She does couples coaching, youknow.
Keep coming here to learn more.
We'll love to have you back.
So next week we're doing Bright, bdsm.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
I know I'm excited.
I'm so excited.
I love that.
That's gonna be fun.
There's a lot to cover withinthat.
We're never going to cover allthat.
We're definitely going to haveto do an ABCs of BDSM.
So oh gosh totally.
Right, I love it, I love it, Ilove it.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Okay.
Well, thank you, shiloh, forjoining me.
I will see you back next weekfor some more sex.
Talk A to Z, thanks.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Stephanie for having me.
Bye everybody, bye, bye.
Well, you know, it's a good thing that I'm very new
to this and we're testing it outand look at, I didn't do so bad
, you did not Winning.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm gonna say winning .
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Well, okay, you know, I'm so happy that we're
starting our lives today,Tuesday On the 19th of March.
What a beautiful day.
Happy birthday, cousin.
I love you, my cousin Karen.
Happy birthday and happybirthday to anybody else who's
(00:37):
out there.
So we'll start seeing commentsand people joining and All right
, so, thank you.
We're back here today to talklet's talk about sex.
I am Stephanie, your host, andI have Shiloh hobby with love,
your, oh, thank you, shiloh, forjoining me.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Hi, stephanie, thank you for having me.
I'm super excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And, of course, the funniest topic is sex talk a to
z, love.
That that's so cool.
I mean, here's the deal, noone's.
I mean people are starting totalk about sex.
It's starting to come out andit's awesome.
So if we can just take on onetopic at a time a to z and, like
(01:21):
we talked about today we coulddo after sex talk, we could just
do BDM, bdsm, a to z, all thoseother ones to really help
educating people, because that'sreally what we're about.
And what.
People want to know.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
People want to know.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
It's so funny because , ok, I'm out.
On the other night I went outby myself.
My mom said, for St Patty's Day, go, go out by yourself, meet
some friends, have a beer.
I had the best time.
I went by myself.
I left with 12 friends somemarriage proposals, some FD WB
(02:01):
proposals, other proposals.
So much fun.
And I will tell you everyone,we were talking about sex.
I said, oh, we're going to betalking about sex live.
And they're like, andeveryone's eyes are like, really
, really like.
People want to know and they'reafraid to ask.
They're afraid to ask.
So, yes, they want to.
(02:22):
You can ask us anything, and soyou can ask us anything Anyone.
I know people are shy, you know, so we may not have very many.
So here I'm going to ask yousome things, because today today
we're doing a is our alphabetfor the day.
I wish I could do a foralphabet.
(02:45):
I'm going to have to get somekind of a for anal, a for anal A
for anal A is renal Anal sex.
I love it.
It's like if we're going tostart, let's start out with a
bang.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Right, I mean let's just get.
I mean we're going to get rightdown and dirty here and let's
just talk about the hard stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I love it Okay, but I have some myths and I want to.
I want your help here.
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
All right, let's talk about some myths real quick,
and then we'll tell you the realstuff.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Okay, cool.
So people?
This is a myth.
People say people who enjoyanal sex are perverted or
wereverted like we are warvertsor they're abnormal.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I mean, I guess, first and foremost, I mean, sex
is a judgment-free zone, youknow, to each their own.
Everybody likes what they like,and anal sex is just another
form of sex.
It's another orgasm waiting tohappen for everyone.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And that's the thing another orgasm waiting to happen
.
I think, when people say, areyou a pervert or you're a
warvert or whatever that is, youknow, because girls are
warverts, as we know, and guysthey call our perverts.
That's what I heard on SlutEver.
I love her, carly.
(04:09):
Anyway, my point is that youknow what?
There's so many variations andthat's what I learned when I
went to San Francisco StateUniversity studying variations
in human sexuality, and that waswhat started my whole life of
wanting to do this.
I saw it all.
I mean guys that liked gotturned on by a pie being thrown
(04:34):
in his face and he brought thepies for us to do All different
kinds of things.
I mean, I could go on and onand on, Even weird little
fetishes and things like that,in which you know, I know Carly
covers a lot.
We will be covering some.
To me.
It's all in the eyes of what weknow and how willing are we
(04:56):
allowed to let our bodies get towhere we really want to be,
which is fully free and open tohave a truly amazing sexual
experience.
We're just not taught that.
So, thank you, you're right.
Okay, we're not taught that.
Oh, anal sex is a sure way toget HIV.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Well, I mean unprotected sex is a sure way to
get HIV.
So I mean you know, I guessthat, taking it in context, I
mean you know, doesn't matterwhich hole you put it in If you
have HIV and you're sharing itwith your partner.
And unprotected sex,unprotected sex, unprotected sex
.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Right Now.
I know the studies show that.
You know, in the anus themembranes are a little bit more
softer or more delicate, so whenthey break and the transmission
of disease, I get all that.
I mean, I worked with AIDSpatients for the first five
years of going to college.
But my point is you're right,you can get it anyway, and that
(06:01):
is called a myth for a reason.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
You know it's, you know it's fed on.
You know the, the scared thing.
I mean.
You know when it did you knowwhen the AIDS epidemic it
started it did start withhomosexual men.
So, that is where that you knowmyth came from.
But ultimately, no, you don'thave to be any sexual
orientation to you know, haveunprotected sex and contract HIV
(06:32):
AIDS.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Exactly Any any.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
So, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And that's why talking about the myth, because
we are in a world of what weonly know, what we know, and we
tell that to our kids and to thepeople around us.
And when we know more, we dobetter.
And so now, if we can teachpeople, we can do better in life
.
You know, that's how I look atit.
Absolutely, we don't need touse condoms during anal sex if
(07:03):
you're in a monogamousrelationship.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Well, okay, so I'm not going to call that a myth
no-transcript.
What I will say is that, inregards to condoms, you know,
when you're having anal sex, itis a good protection to use that
, especially since, going backand forth, you don't want to
have, you don't want to go backto penis and vagina sex after
(07:31):
you've had penis and anal sexbecause you're spreading feces.
So that's where the purpose ofa condom can come into play,
because if you use condom whenyou're having, when you're
having anal sex, then you removeit and the penis is still clean
.
You can go back to penis andanal sex.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
So but the other one you could do.
Just FYI, you could also goclean up, which I've seen.
Oh great, you can clean up.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You just don't want to go back and forth immediately
.
Yes, you can go clean up, butyou.
The thing is, you want to makesure that you're cleaning up,
you're clean.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Love it and you're so right because that's perfect.
Okay, here's a myth Anal sexcannot lead to orgasm.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Wrong.
Oh, that's a big old myth.
That's a big old myth.
That's a big old false.
So, yes, there's all kinds ofamazing orgasms that can come
out of that.
So, yeah, I think we're maleand female.
For both, I think we shouldtalk about anal sex.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Okay, we're going to be doing that.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Let's stop talking about myths and start talking
about gross.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
All right, so let's okay.
So then why?
Okay?
I know it's pleasurable, so whydo people find it scary but
pleasurable?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
So I mean I think that you know most females are
most female, most anybody that'shad the penis and vagina sex.
There's been that slip up, andthat slip up was completely and
everybody just kind of cringed Iknow you did because you've all
had it and you're like, oh myGod, were you just like Wrong,
(09:15):
what's up?
Scary.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Scary.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
That's very you know.
So when you think about that,it's like, um no, because that's
the immediate thought thatcomes into your mind when you
think about that.
Right, I mean, if you've neverdone a before or you've never
willingly done it, that's whatyou're thinking about 100%
you're remembering that time.
It's PTSD and it is.
(09:39):
Rightfully so, because itshould hurt it hurt, it hurt, it
hurt it hurt.
There was no preparation, ithurt so and you go, huh.
Yeah, I think that's the memoryeveryone has and and ultimately,
though you know it is taboo, itis, you know, and even
(10:02):
historically speaking you knowwe'll get into some fun
historical facts later on butyou know, even historically
speaking, it's always been, youknow, kind of taboo.
It's never been something thatis just like Okay, you're doing
that and you know it's not.
No, no, it's becoming morerecently, you know, although,
interestingly enough, it isbecoming more popular among the
(10:27):
younger sex people, theteenagers, and what oh why they
are having.
They do that instead of P and Bto avoid pregnancy or, as we
were discussing, to keep theirvirginity intact.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Right, I was mentioning to you that I had a
gentleman that was dating a girland she was in college though
she had never had sex and said,hey, I only do anal.
And he's like what?
Like you?
Only what he goes.
Yeah, I only do anal becauseI'm going to be a virgin for my
(11:08):
husband, and he's like, oh, okay, so yeah, I think that's very
interesting.
I think you're right, peopleare using that as another form.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I think there's more people that are having it.
They don't talk about itbecause it is a taboo.
Yeah, and so that's why we'rehere today, too, to talk about
it, because let's talk about itso you can do safely.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
What are the key things to keep in mind for a
safe and enjoyable experience?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
So initially, first, you know communication, you want
to.
You know this isn't somethingyou're just going to decide that
you're going to do.
You need to.
There's also preparation tothis.
But you want to talk to your,you want to talk to your partner
about this.
You're not just going to dothis.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
This is not just like hey we're doing this.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That's not happening Like you need to.
You need to have a conversationwith them prior to make sure
that they're that they're on thesame page with doing this and
trying this.
You know, you know, have aglass of wine.
You know relax.
Relaxation is for this.
You want to make sure thatyou're very relaxed.
Please don't be trashed.
You don't want to be drunk.
(12:16):
You want to remember.
Plus, you want to be safe andyou know drinking leads to
unsafe activities, especially onthis.
So don't try.
You know when you're drunk.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, it could lead to some not
so pleasant experiences, yeahwhy he wouldn't feel the pain
until the next day, and then itcould be really pain.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Right, it could be.
Yeah, you could definitely dosome damage if you're not,
especially if you're not used toit.
You know you don't.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And it's your first time.
I mean, yeah, you don't want toexperiment with it.
You know being drunk, but yeah,that's the one or two.
You know, just be relaxed.
You know just that.
Because the tensor you are, themore things hurt.
Because because, ultimately,you know the reason why anal sex
, anal play, hurts so much isbecause the sphincter muscle is
(13:02):
designed to keep everything up.
So it keeps all of your organsup, yeah, your intestines, your
stomach, all of that is is keptup and it doesn't fall out
because sphincter musclesthey're keeping it all in.
Interesting, because I mean youthink about, you think about
the body and how it works.
I mean your waist is coming out, yeah.
So you know you have thesphincter muscle very, very
(13:25):
tight.
So relaxation is key.
You want to be relaxed, youwant communication to happen.
Lubrication is the other shunword that we need.
So we have preparation,communication, lubrication.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Okay, well, let's talk about the prep work.
So we got the communicationdown, we're going to sit down,
we're going to have aconversation about how we're
going to do this and in thatconversation we're going to talk
about prep.
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
So you know, I mean you know, you definitely want to
.
You know, I think one of thebig things that comes up is, you
know, obviously the mess, right, I mean you're, we're talking
about that, we're talking aboutthe rack down.
This is where the poop comesout.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So it's not a very pleasant area, but if it's
cleaned out, before you do.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
But so I mean there's .
There are some things.
So one, most natural If you usethe restroom, you have your,
you have your bowel movement andwhen you wipe, if it's clean,
your tract is clean.
If you have any residue onthere, if you have any residue
whatsoever on there, your tractis not clean.
But okay, no residue, it'sclean.
(14:33):
Amazingly enough, the body, thehuman body, is an amazing,
amazing machine.
Y'all.
You know we know that, we knowthat the vagina is self cleaning
and kind of does its own, youknow, takes care of everything
down there and and takes, yes,balancing everything out and
making everything amazing, right, well, the rectum is kind of
the same way, you know, and thefact of like it does actually,
(14:56):
it's actually very clean.
Yeah, I was actually surprisedto hear that, because it was
just like so, like you're likeit's so disgusting.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Okay, all right, so, but anyhow, yeah, so fun facts
Also so.
And then you know if the trackisn't clean, if so, if you're
worried, so you know.
And if you are worried, I meanI will say you know there's
always going to be, you know,the chance of there's being some
feces, I mean in your backdoorplay.
This is what you're messingwith, right?
(15:25):
This is what you're hoping forthere's also, but there are also
the anal duchess, which isessentially just taking water
and like shooting up your buttto rinse it all out and clean it
all out.
So there's that, so you canalso do that to.
You know, be extra, extra, yeah, so Okay, that's good, okay, so
we got the prep down.
(15:47):
We got the prep.
So you're gonna talk to yourpartner about this and you know,
prep it up, it was so yes, soyou're gonna say your
communication, you want to talkto your partner, you want to let
them know.
You know, first and foremost,you know when you're thinking
about trying to talk to anybodyinto doing anything that you
want to try is you want to playup the benefits for them, right?
(16:08):
So Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
And so here's.
The thing is that I you'rereally this is good, because a
lot of women would not in theirbrain because of the PTSD that
we had.
Does not correlate that to fun,to oh yeah, I'm gonna have
pleasure at when you're doingthat, that that they're.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Oh, and they've seen porn, yeah.
And then like I mean, you know,and they're like no, like
there's no way in the world thatanybody is going to do that to
me.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So I mean, honestly, we've done a really horrible job
at showing women that theydon't want to do this shit.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So no, I mean you know, it's kind of out there.
So OK.
So well, why for women?
So should we talk about womenor men first?
Well, let's talk about womenfirst.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
No, because I want to talk about men and I love that
you want to talk about that,because I'm big on the prostate
massage, for and I'm big on that.
But but back to the female,because I want to get them more
relaxed about wanting to atleast try it, ok.
So here's, here's a prep that Ithink that you I'd love you to
mention, if they can work on notgetting that in their mind and
(17:24):
then maybe they work on numbingthat area.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
So there are not necessarily numbing, but there
are relaxation creams that dowork and that help with and that
will help with relaxing thatmuscle to make it more
comfortable.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I heard oral gel.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Ok Swear, somebody says oral gel, I'm like all
right, I know that I would wantoral gel on my vote, OK.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I've done it.
I've done it.
It was fine, it numbed it andmy point is that just relax
yourself, you know relaxing.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
You know I like the and actually like I will say you
know, not a plug for any brandsor anything but pure romance
has a booty ease which is arelaxing cream and it is I.
I think in comparison to someof the other brands out on the
market, you love it Much better.
Ok, from a relaxed standpoint,so that's great.
(18:21):
Just a thought on that.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
But OK, and we're, and she's not selling, we're
just telling you yes.
So If that's a great one, holdon one more Cation Lubrication.
Sorry, I beeped out for aminute.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Oh, lubrication is very, very important.
So here's the thing aboutlubrication yes, and the one
thing that the key factor aboutlubrication that you need to
keep in mind is that not alllubrication is is equal.
Not all lubrication is createdthe same.
There are two separate, thereare two different kinds of
lubrication.
So here's our quick lubricationand everyone.
So we have a normal, everydayplay, great for water, water
(19:05):
based lubricant.
The other type of lubricantthat we have is our silicon
lubricant.
Silicon based lubricant isgoing to stay on top of the
tissues, whereas a water basedtissue or water based lubricant
is going to absorb into thetissues.
You do not want your lubricantto absorb into your tissues if
you are having water, if you arehaving anal play, the reason
(19:28):
being is it will dry up and itwill not be comfortable, right?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
More lubrication is always better.
So a silicon lubricant isdefinitely your best bet.
It is going to stay on top ofthe tissue.
It is not going to absorb in.
It is going to make it much,make it slippery, like it should
be.
Right.
And you know and this is wherecommunication is is really key
(19:54):
you know if you need morelubricant, you know you need.
You know you can tell yourpartner where lubricant is
needed.
So definitely definitely a key.
One other thing to you know,just in regards to anal sex and
safety, is it's generallyrecommended to go very, very
slowly and it's about an inchper minute.
(20:17):
So you don't that's interesting.
So you go very slowly to ensure, you know, just to allow that
relaxation to really come in.
You know, but down, just relax,you know, get accustomed to it.
It's a very intimate act.
Honestly, this is somethingthat honestly like for couples
(20:41):
that want to take, takesomething you know, take their
intimacy to the next level.
I mean this is super intimate.
This is very, you know it's.
It's putting a lot of pressureto working together slowly.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
It's not a fast hurry , hurry, hurry.
This is not this kind of thing.
It's not boring.
Slow, yes, yes, slow Workingtogether.
Now here's the thing I wouldn'tsuggest personally, my personal
opinion.
But can you hear anything?
Any noise?
I need a little bit, but notmuch, ok, cool, so we'll just
(21:13):
continue.
Sorry for the noise.
I have tree cutters today, so,anyway, but that's not where we
want to start with the play.
Though you don't want to startan anal, ok, we need to start in
other areas to work it up toget to that point where she's
(21:36):
hot, heavy, juicy, excited,wanting more, because then, when
you get down there and you'redoing your, thing, I mean four
plays, always important.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Okay, it's always important and you definitely
want it.
You want to have.
You want to have your, yourfemale partner, anybody with a
vagina.
You want to have them very,very relaxed, very, very turned
on, very, very Absolutely.
Foreplay is absolutely key.
Like you can't, like you don'tskimp when it comes to.
You cannot skimp if you want,you know.
(22:08):
Like you cannot skimp on any ofno.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Like do whatever you need to figure out her design of
what makes her turned on theroom, the ambiance, the whatever
.
It might take 30 to 40 minutesto get to that place, but you
bet you work that out.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
It might not be the first time.
You know you're gonna start offgradually, you know it's.
You know maybe you are juststarting off a little bit of
fingering.
Maybe you are starting off withlike playing with a toy, you
know, and just kind of rubbing.
You know the, you know justkind of, you know Putting it
along the outside the perimeterand just, you know, gradually
you don't getting those, gettingthose nervous, because the anus
(22:44):
is very, has some very richnerve endings.
So I mean you know you canstart with.
You know you can start, youknow, small and build your way
up to it.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
You know there's yeah , yeah, yeah, just the tip.
And that's really good that yousaid that, because I think that
in you know, that's just bigplayers, some guys, mine.
The minute the girl goes, yeah,let's do anal, that's happened
in that night.
All right, it's happening andthat's it.
And let's just be clear, you'reright, it's not.
If you're just starting out anddoing that play, it's going to
(23:16):
be a.
Possibly it might not happenthat night.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Well, it might not.
You know I mean, and using it's, you know it really truly is.
You know about just making surethat your partner is ready and
making sure that they arerelaxed and making sure that
they do understand that.
You know that it's, you knowthis is, it's intimate, you know
you're listening to them,you're having that trust and,
(23:41):
yes, absolutely um.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
I um From you um one, because we've worked together
now for a couple years, threeyears.
This um what.
Somebody came to me, the anal.
Somebody came to me and wantedto do anal and was afraid
because they were extremelytight and wanted to get it
(24:04):
looser.
And so pure romance.
I actually ordered it for themand pure romance has a kit.
It's like four or five.
Where it's a gradual, you caninsert a trainer.
It's a trainer.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Thank you, that's what that's what you can do.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Trainers.
So I was.
I was like I didn't know whatthey're called.
You can do trainers and whatnot, right?
So those are things that youcan do.
Yeah, yeah, that's really yes.
And the other thing just tokind of I don't know.
Ah, some, I think it's every.
I think girls like the idea ofa double penetration.
(24:41):
So if your man is a big guy andyou're like there's no fucking
way that his cock is going in mybutt, then maybe do a strap on
and have something go in yourbutt, I mean you could do that
stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I mean, I'm the other thing.
The other thing that you can dowith that situation is you can
actually use a male sleeve andput it on him and if it's as
long as it's open-ended you needan open-ended one both ends you
put it on him and then Just getthe little bit oh, because
(25:20):
it'll be a cushion and it'llprevent him from actually
putting the whole thing in.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Oh wow, I never.
That's awesome, see, ladies,there's so many things out there
.
There's things we can.
Yeah, there's, there are thingsyou can make it more
comfortable for sure, exactly,and he's still getting that
control and being able to playwith it, and all of that, which
is awesome.
Oh my god, that's a good one.
Okay, so that's good.
Um, so let's talk about toysreal quick.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Since you brought up toys, let's just talk about toys
and safety.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yes, okay, I don't, I don't want anybody.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I don't want any of our listeners here to end up in
the hospital, the emergency room, because people end up there.
Y'all the stories that you hearis like sending to the ER.
Whatever the stories, you aretrue 100%.
So here's the deal.
Number one rule of thumb withany toys and any anal play,
whatever you are playing withneeds to have either a flat
(26:14):
bottom or it needs to have astring.
The reason being is thatsphincter muscle that's keeping
everything up.
It actually Will suck up whatyou put in there.
People that end up in theemergency room with, you know,
(26:35):
flashlights and shot glasses andand gerbils and light bulbs.
And I read a story about anelectric eel once that Somebody
decided they needed an electriceel.
All surgery was performed, theELA and the person were okay,
(26:56):
just saying it's the reality,people are doing it.
So, and just on that note, Imean that's just to say people
like it.
I mean, look what they're doingfor it.
So can we talk about men?
Now?
Let's talk about men.
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
It's time to talk about women so, and you also
asked actually, what do womenget out of it?
Like the pleasure-wise.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
So the one thing that I wanna yes, please, let's form
that up.
I want women to enjoy this,because it is and you and I
enjoy it and we know becausewe've passed through that PTSD.
But we gotta get the otherwoman past that PTSD point.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
So here's the thing, the clitoris, what we know of
the clitoris like.
Here's my little vagina modelhere.
So this is the clitoris, right,this is the clitoris that you
see.
This is the part of theclitoris that you see.
The part of the clitoris thatyou don't see is internal, and
(27:50):
when we become aroused, theclitoris is made up of the same
tissues that a penis is made upof, and actually can look like
one.
And when we become arousedladies those of you with the
clitoris it becomes aroused.
Fun fact, your clitoris mightbe bigger than his penis.
(28:13):
Just then, Comparisons, theyare something to compare,
Anyways.
Yeah, Mine is bigger than yours, right?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
So oh my God, that's hilarious Cause it's true.
I mean, I've seen some picturesof them and they're huge and
they are behind.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So you know what's really scary and we'll talk
about this another day when wetalk about the clitoris.
But what's really scary, though, is that you know the clitoris
really is.
You know it's behind, you knowit sits behind the labia, it
sits behind, you know it reallyengorges that whole entire area.
So anal play is just gettinganother.
It's another part.
(28:53):
Just like you like doggie styleversus missionary versus
cowgirl versus, you know upsidedown, you know whatever, however
you like, whatever yourfavorite position is yeah, it's
a different penetration and it'sjust getting a different spot.
And, as you mentioned, doublepenetration is very popular,
because then you get thatclitoral vaginal stimulation at
(29:14):
the same time that you'regetting that anal stimulation.
Like all of it is stimulatedand, holy cow, you can have it
in a magnet with an orgasm.
So we just talk about men.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
OK, hold on.
Let me just wrap that up withthe female, so women.
Just imagine having somethingeven better than the clitoral
and the internal orgasm.
Just imagine it being evenbetter.
And so if you can think of itthat it can even be better, then
maybe you'll try it.
(29:45):
So just at least try it once.
I always say to people try itonce.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
OK.
Well, you know, as long as yourpartner is, you know, as long
as you have a partner that'sgoing to take care of you
properly and you have thatcommunication and trust, why not
?
You know it's better than theslip up.
You know it's not like the slipup at all.
The slip up you're not preparedfor and it hurts, but it's not
meant to hurt.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It does.
I mean, it's just no doubtabout it.
Yeah, ok, let's talk about themen, because let's talk about
men, I love it.
And here's the thing it's notjust for heterosexual or for gay
men, as everyone thinks.
So let's just get into this menthing, because they need to get
that prostate cleaned out.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Well, you know, and I will say, you know, just to be
whatever for any of the guyslike for a myth, you know,
that's sure.
One of the myths here that's avery popular myth is like oh,
you know, anal sex is I'm notgay, you know I'm not, I'm not
homosexual.
Well, I just want to look atthe partner that you're with and
make that determination andjust say, you know, well, I mean
(30:50):
, because if you are a male andyou are with a female in a
heterosexual relationship andyou're doing this with a female,
I mean that's not thedefinition of homosexual.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
But I think it's just that stigma of like.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
But it's a stigma.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
you know that the minute you put something in your
butt as a heterosexual male,that makes you a A wolf gay, and
that is a fucking myth.
That's not true.
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's so not true, right?
I mean you can try it and youknow, and if you look at your
best friend differently, I meanyou know, I guess, but I mean
that's you know, that's not,that's not true.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
So, here's what I want to say, what all the
studies and the research I'vedone.
Because you know me I am theone who talks about prostate
massages on a weekly basis formen and because I did all the,
all the, because you were theone who taught me about the
vagina, the clitor, you know,getting the vibrator in the
(31:48):
vagina.
So I took the research a littlefurther and went to the
massagers in the anus and whatthat does for men and the, with
men having 40% of men havingprostate cancer and one of the
biggest reasons is becausethey're not clearing out their
(32:08):
prostate with all the fluidthat's in there.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Interestingly enough, it's funny that you say that,
because there is actually, whileit's not scientifically proven
that prostate massage canprevent prostate cancer, there
is work done that shows.
In Japan there's a subsectionof men that do that and they
(32:35):
have significantly lower numbers, so huge numbers.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Yes, yes, and you're right, and I have these research
studies on my Reddit, so if youwant to read about it, I have
that Japan story.
I have the other ones aboutprostate massage, because I talk
about it.
I even talked about it to mydad, who's 80.
And it's important, though mydad said really he's doing it.
So I'm like my dad is 80 anddoing it.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Well, and you know what, and here's the thing you
know, as men get older, theyhave more issues with their
prostate.
You know, just, you know theydo, they have.
There's a lot of issues thathappen with the prostate and a
lot of them, a lot of thetreatments for them, is prostate
massage.
That's going to leave it.
If you have a little largeprostate, prostate massage.
(33:24):
If you have prostate cytos,prostate massage.
If you have prostate cancer,prostate massage, like so
everything kind of comes down tothis prostate massage.
So can we talk about prostatemassage for a second, gentlemen?
I just want to say Is it okay?
Here's the thing this is.
You know, this is really truly.
I think what it comes down to isyou know, guys have that lack
(33:45):
of room, talk Like everybody'sgot that, every guy has that
friend right that you know thatthis girl stuck her foot where
she was giving me a blow job andlike she stuck her finger and
all of a sudden like, oh my God,you know, amazing, it's just
this crazy orgasm.
Well, you know, the thing aboutprostate massage is that it
does completely expel everythingout, but it increases that
(34:07):
orgasm like eight times, eight,eight times, gentlemen, eight
times you can have an eighttimes stronger orgasm.
Every man.
Well, ladies, if you're lookingto get your men to, you know,
do this.
I look at it as turnabout, asfair play.
It's very, very healthy for himand bonus for him he gets to
(34:28):
use his favorite toy for aslonger.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Yeah, and he was playing with it in the womb.
So just to say how excited heis about it.
They have embryo, they have thelittle fetuses playing with
their little, with their littlepenises in the womb.
So they've been playing withthis forever.
Babies put their baby boys, puttheir hand down their diaper.
They're being no moms, no Mom'sno.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
We had boys, we know yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
So I mean this is a forever and everything.
You know like this is theirfavorite body part ladies Little
prostate massage and he can useit for great toy forever and he
gets an orgasm that's eighttimes stronger.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
It's the most amazing orgasm.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I kind of feel like it's almost not fair, like you
know.
I mean it's entertaining thatit's in their butt.
I will say that I, you and Ihave Thank you, thank you, thank
you to the powers that be,because I mean, you know, we get
the clitoris, which is onlyhere for our, our enjoyment, and
(35:37):
you know the wonderfulness ofof that.
But you know, I said it may.
They don't have to go tochildbirth, they can have an
eight times stronger orgasm byjust massaging the prostate.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah, I mean it's exactly.
And when you're doing thatlet's just talk about because
it's not that far in.
You got to make sure you'redoing it right.
I, when I was doing theresearch on that too, it's like
it's it's only like twocentimeters in size yeah.
(36:13):
And it's the size of a walnutand you know a little bit of.
You know if you want to do afinger or the vibration works.
And the other thing I readbecause, as you say, you know
Japan is doing it, it's verycommon.
I had men going, I want one ofthose, and so I started doing
some research and found out thatthe the massage parlors will
(36:40):
actually do a prostate massage,because they don't look at it as
sexual, because they're nottouching the penis, and so you
can actually ask for a prostatemassage at a massage parlors.
Some of them will do that foryou, so you could actually just
write exactly so and it's notsexual, right.
(37:00):
It's considered healthy.
It's considered healthy byreleasing that.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Hey, women used to go to, women used to go to the, go
to the doctor for treatmentsfor a Syria, so I mean, and they
used to use a vibrator.
We got the vibrator.
So I mean, you know, it was all.
It was all because of it wasall because of a little carpal
tunnel.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Exactly Right.
So no, I love taking thatstigmatization away from certain
things.
The other thing that can beplayful and fun that I have
heard of couples doing is thefemale wearing a strap on.
Yeah, pegging, sometimes that'sa fantasy of men.
It's a different type of, youknow, dominance kind of things,
(37:46):
some kind of whatever, and Idon't know.
I mean, I've talked to people,they they like to do that kind
of stuff.
So I think it's all over theplace and, like I said,
nothing's weird, because I thinkwhat?
So long as you're both twoconsenting adults and you're
enjoying each other and you'renot being horribly, you know,
disgusting with each other, thenit's, it's good.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, I mean, as long as you're consenting and it's
okay with you, anything can go.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
I mean, you know, I feel like as long as it's legal
and consenting.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I mean, you know, so we'll, we'll both.
I love it Just for just forkicks.
But you know, into consentingadults, I mean, that's right,
whatever you want to explore, Imean I think that you know we're
adults, you know we get to play.
This is our, this is how weplay this is our playground All
(38:37):
right.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
So any more last minute words that you want to
say about anal, we've done.
Like you know, like we said wewere going to do like 40 minutes
of it.
I think we've covered somereally good topics and some
variations.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Yeah, we talked about some fun myths and yeah, it's
been a lot.
Yeah, I think we've had areally great conversation about
bag door play.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
I think it's been really good and you, you made it
so the way that you communicate.
It's like you, you make it soit's not uncomfortable.
You know what I mean Like it'snot nasty, it's not dirty, do
you know what I mean?
It's like right, and you makeit so.
It's like it's good, it's funto play with each other and
(39:19):
let's play, yeah, so anyways,it's important to play together.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I mean it's important for couples to play.
It is important for partnersLike it is.
It's very important for you toexplore each other and play.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
That's what keeps your relationship healthy.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
That's what relieves the stress.
That's what you work for.
Come on, everything comes downto sex, right?
You know, we work, we work hardso that we can play hard, and
playing hard includes in thebedroom.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Well, as they say, you know the two things that we
are innate about sex, food.
We need food and we need sex.
So if people could just gettheir heads around those kinds
of things.
I mean, I didn't make this up,okay, it's not made up, so, but
(40:07):
anyway.
So yeah, food and sex.
So let's get our heads aroundtalking about it and enjoying it
.
And if we're not with partnersthat we're not enjoying, let's
find a way to do it.
Go to Shiloh.
She does couples coaching, youknow.
Keep coming here to learn more.
We'll love to have you back.
So next week we're doing Bright, bdsm.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
I know I'm excited.
I'm so excited.
I love that.
That's gonna be fun.
There's a lot to cover withinthat.
We're never going to cover allthat.
We're definitely going to haveto do an ABCs of BDSM.
So oh gosh totally.
Right, I love it, I love it, Ilove it.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Okay.
Well, thank you, shiloh, forjoining me.
I will see you back next weekfor some more sex.
Talk A to Z, thanks.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Stephanie for having me.
Bye everybody, bye, bye.
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