March 30, 2024 • 60 mins
Explore the depths of self-expression with Shiloh as we cast a light on the misunderstood world of BDSM. This episode isn't just a discussion; it's an invitation to redefine self-acceptance and uncover the vibrancy of our sensuality as we age. Music, dance, and the pulse of life itself guide us through a journey that promises to shatter stereotypes and reveal the rich tapestry of human sexuality. Get ready to challenge your notions of BDSM, as we navigate through the importance of consent, communication, and the varied landscapes of pleasure and power play.
Venture beyond the veil of misconceptions with tales from the dungeon to the dance floor, where discipline meets delight. We share personal anecdotes and tips on how to safely explore the dynamics of bondage and impact play, stressing the significance of boundaries. From 'brats' to aftercare, we dissect the subtleties that make BDSM an empowering experience. Shiloh and I encourage embracing the diversity of sexuality with an open mind, whether it's through rope classes or understanding the nuances of sex club etiquette.
Lastly, we champion the empowering journey of self-love and coaching, particularly for women, fostering a dialogue on personal growth that extends well beyond the bedroom. The conversation culminates with a teaser on the mysterious anatomy of the internal clitoris, setting the stage for a future deep-dive into this enthralling subject. Join us for an episode that not only entertains and enlightens but also inspires a celebration of your own sensuality in bold new ways.
#shilohhobby #LoveYourO #bdsm #kink #kinkversations #LIVES #sexpositive #sexandlearning
12/30/23
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Make sure it says everything's going live.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I don't know why I pretend I don't have any glasses
.
I want to be like the littlelady with these glasses, with my
readers on.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Okay, you can have your readers on.
Hey, listen, we're old, we loveit.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The alternative is not an option.
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We're all going to grow old, we're all going to age
, so we need to think that we'renot going to stay young forever
, right, and we're going tochange.
Our bodies are going to changeEverything.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yes, very true.
We just have to love ourselveshow we are.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
All we can do.
Let me just make sure you arelive.
I'm making sure because Ididn't think I was live last and
I wasn't like, oh my God, Allright.
So today we're back here withShiloh.
This is Stephanie with let'stalk about sex with me,
Stephanie Smith.
And this with Shiloh.
This is Stephanie with let'sTalk About Sex With me,
(01:06):
Stephanie Smith.
And this is Shiloh.
Hobby with Love your Own, HelloShiloh.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Hi everybody.
How are you today, stephanie?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I am fabulous, I'm awesome.
Honestly, I'm going to tell youa little story.
I went last night my girlfriendsorry, there's like a little
cough thing going on, I guess Ihave a little one last night I
go out with my girlfriend.
She invited me, she's doing aconcert, I go to listen to her,
she's fabulous.
And, um, I just got my booty on, but it was everyone, was
(01:38):
pretty much over 50 there.
I mean, that's pretty much.
I mean maybe there were acouple of young kids, but of the
, you know, so it's an over 50community.
Everyone was rocking out,having fun and of course I
people called me the teenager.
I guess I looked like ateenager because I was totally
dancing and up, and that's justme.
(01:59):
And I will tell you, it'sinteresting how sometimes people
just sit there and they justdon't move.
There's no movement and to me,just music moves me.
It moves me.
I hear music and it's like I'mdancing.
(02:20):
I could be walking somewhere,hear music and I'm dancing In
the grocery aisle.
I have done that.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I listen to the music Because they rock out in the
grocery store now, although Iwill say you know it used to
make me feel old.
But I realized that they doplay newer music now in grocery
stores, so it's not just likethe older music, they kind of
play everything.
Yeah, so I absolutely rock outin the grocery stores.
So it's not just like the oldermusic, they kind of play
everything.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah so.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I absolutely rock out in the grocery store.
I do too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And I don't you know, and I'm in the car, I'm dancing
and I, like, my friend has astrobe light in her car and
that's like we.
That's the thing.
So to me, we got to move people, people, people, people.
Let's move.
So today's movement, which isgoing to be fun Cause we're
(03:14):
going to have an interestingmovement- that's not what the M
stands for, stephanie.
No, no, no BDSM.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, the big B.
That's not what M stands forCause.
Right, we're doing A to Z.
Thank you, shiloh, we are, butI'm just saying the M in BDSM
does not stand for movement.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
No, anyways, but you know, so tell me.
You know BDSM a lot of.
Let's just get some of thesekind of crazy things in our
heads out of the way.
A lot of people think that BDSMis just for people who have,
who are mentally unstable that'snot true or have trauma issues.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
That's not true, Very untrue, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Basically I would say to myself.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Why don't we explain?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Why don't we start off with what is?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
BDSM.
So BDSM stands for bondagediscipline, masochism and sadism
.
And bondage discipline kind ofwhat it sounds like.
Sadism is going to be theperson that likes to inflict the
pain and the masochist is theperson that likes to receive the
(04:35):
pain.
And you know yes, I'm sure thatthere probably are people.
I mean, we all have traumas, solet's just go ahead and say
that.
But trauma doesn't haveanything to do with BDSM, it's
just another form of sexuality.
It's, I would call it, it's thenext playground and you know,
(04:56):
you can start off with BDSMpretty lightly.
I mean, you know, if you'veever brought a blindfold into
the bedroom or tied your wristwith you know, tied your
partner's wrist with you know atie or something you've done.
Bdsm, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You know, I mean, yeah, I think that people don't
realize that like handcuffs, alittle necktie with a little tie
, just something as simple asthat with a little tying, just
something as simple as that.
So the range here is very broadand there's so much that
encompasses.
We will certainly not becovering it all today, but we're
(05:33):
just going to pick it a littlebit.
So let's start with the firstone bondage and discipline, or
you know, or what do you want to, however?
Domination, however you, orsubmission, however you want to
say.
But let's talk about bondage.
What is, what are all thedifferent types of bondages that
are out there?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So I mean in regards to bondage, it generally means
you know, like just some type ofrestraint and I will say you
know.
In regards to BDSM, I will sayyou know, in regards to BDSM,
your imagination is kind of thelimit.
You know, you and your partnerget to explore however you want
(06:16):
to bind, you know, put yourpartner into bondage.
You know, or experience thatbondage for yourself.
You know whether it be chivalry, which is role play.
You know, or you know,something extreme as far as like
a St Christopher's cross, whichis that X cross and people are
up on.
I've seen that, or handcuffs youknow, so it could be.
You know all different levels,you know I mean some people
(06:39):
break out the zip ties becausethat's what they're into you
know, so it just depends on whatyour level is.
But bondage is going to bebondage.
You're bonded, you're, you'rebinding in some way, right?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And when.
Thank you for making meactually do some research on
this stuff, cause I'm enjoyingit, I love it, it it is actually
there's so much, there's somuch, there's so much.
So let me just explain some ofthe things that I've seen.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, what did you?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
find Well what I've seen out there in the world,
because my degree was in minorin human sexuality, so I wanted
to see everything.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
And you're in the perfect place for it all too.
I will say.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I was in San Francisco.
I honestly, it was justhonestly the most beautiful
place and to be able toexperience all this stuff.
So I went to this thing called.
What they called is the PowerExchange.
They have one in San Franciscoand they have one in LA, I don't
know if they're still there.
They're multi-level facilities,so multiple floors and each
(07:48):
floor means something, and sothe bondage floor, the BDSM or
any of the, what they noted aslike anything it was pretty much
what they labeled as crazy waswe had wheels, that you could go
(08:09):
a woman could go on and spin.
It's a spin wheel.
They had doctor's tables, thegynecological tables, up.
They had their feet up in there.
They had that going on.
They had their feet up in there.
They had that going on.
They had the swings, the sexswings, hanging from the ceiling
(08:30):
.
They had all different kinds ofthose.
That was awesome, yeah, it wascrazy.
The places that you could putsomeone to then tie them up.
Us, we'll do it in our bedroom,right, we're going to do it in
our bedroom, a hotel room, achair, things like that.
So using ropes, you know, orany kind of ties you know, is
(09:03):
good, yeah.
So my point is, though, that itis kind of crazy how far the
mind can go, cause I mean seeingall that stuff for my first
time, it was like holy crap,like really yeah, and I did get
into, I did go to see it.
I was.
I didn't go, obviously, watchanything, but I went to observe.
They had dungeons in a basementand they created just cement.
(09:27):
It was just cement walls withyou know things to tie your arms
up, your legs, any, any kind ofway to tie all over the room,
any kind of way to tie all overthe room, so they actually have
places.
If you want to get tied up andhave BDSM to happen to you, you
(09:48):
can go to these places.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Absolutely, and I mean you know.
And to your and to your points,I mean you know really it's to
find these places.
You know it can be as easy aslooking.
You know you can look online.
Obviously the Internet's fullof things, but I know, like
within the meetup I want to sayit's meetup there is.
I'm in, I'm in the Austin areaand I know here like there's
(10:12):
some rope classes and such likethat that you can go to.
I also know of, like, thedifferent clubs.
I went to a kink fest at one ofthe sex clubs here and like
you're describing you know itwas, it was interesting.
I mean, you know, just inregards to BDSM, can we just
talk about one thing and that'sboundaries.
(10:32):
Yeah, BDSM has some boundaries.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
There's rules.
That's a whole rule talk.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, there's a lot of rules and you know, like,
even going to these differentclubs there's a lot of rules
Like you can watch, but youdon't, you know.
But generally there's a tapedoff area and you have to stay
behind the line and there ispeople, there are people that
are walking around making surethat you are not invading that
(11:00):
play place.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So you know.
That's a good point that youpoint out, because one there's
not.
You have to know the rules.
Number one to be able to playBDSM with your partner.
You really need to have thatconversation.
But definitely, if you're goingto go and explore, like we do,
you definitely need to know therules, because there are rules
(11:23):
and you will get kicked out in ahot minute, but it's also it's
a boundary thing.
So don't just think like youget to go in there and start
just touching everybody.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Well, it's safety.
I mean, nobody wants to be.
You know, it's one thing to betouched by the person that you
want to be touched by, and thenyou know that other part where
you know it's not, you know it'sall consensual.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yes, yes, yeah.
So let's get back to the ropepart, because I love that that
you have courses there in yourarea.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
There are courses I know I totally want to take one.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I think that's great, actually.
Well, that's why I'm going totell you, because I, just as you
made, as I did, this um,there's Shibari yes, s H I, b A
R I ties, and this was created.
I wanted to know why was theShibari originated?
How was it?
And it was originated back.
(12:13):
It's a restraining method forcaptives in a form of torture,
so back in the day in Japan, andthen they got this kumbuka,
kumbuka, bondage, k-i-n-b-a-q-uand it translates to the beauty
of tight binding.
(12:34):
And that's actually really cool, because I don't, I've been
tied up in a shibari type of atie, did not know that that was
the type of tie.
I've been tied up in other ways,just the normal vanilla way, if
we will, hands, handcuffs, youknow, bed sheets, whatever, but
(12:57):
I will say that a shibari tiewhen I, I, I, you know we had
that.
No, I'm like, I have anxietyissues, I have, you know, like I
, I, claustrophobia issues.
So to me, tying is very hardfor sometimes, for for people,
especially if you have thesetypes of issues.
(13:19):
So, one, it's a breathing thatyou have to do and second, it's
really that communication withyour partner.
If it's not tight and you don't, if you say get me out of this
right now.
It's not, oh well, we're almostdone.
(13:39):
No, no, no, no, no.
It's get me out of it right now, right now, because I'm gonna
fucking lose my shit.
Yes, um, and I will say thatthat and I had both hands, I
mean everything tied behind myback and tight in the waist,
(14:00):
because shibari can go in thewaist and the legs, everything
Extremely erotic.
And now could I do it today?
No, that was like 20 years ago.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Oh, you mean that was when you were younger and more
flexible, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Well, and a little bit more.
Like I could, you know, dealwith that kind of shit, but
there's no way now.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
And here's the thing, Like I think, when you're tying
people up like I you know I'veplayed enough, Okay People who
have claustrophobia issues, youjust don't have to.
You don't have to.
You can have one hand out, youcan have it loose, so you can
get yourself out really quickly.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Whatever, right, I think that you know.
I think that the most importantthing that people really need
to take away from you know,thinking about BDSM, it is very
structured in terms of rules.
You very much.
You have to have that, you know.
You know my favorite wordcommunication, right, I mean,
you have to, you have to talk toyour partners.
(15:13):
There's actually a test thatyou can take to determine what
your kinks are and what kind ofthings you're interested in.
And it's at yes, it's atbdsmtestorg.
Okay, we'll post it on the link.
Yeah, we'll put that in the,we'll put that in the notes for
everyone to go out and and takeyour and go out and take your,
(15:38):
your test Cause, yes, and see,yes, and see where you're at,
see where you fall on yourlevels of kinkiness.
Well, tell us about it.
I have taken it.
It's been a moment since I'vetaken it, but it's very
interesting.
It really does go through.
It goes through all of thekinks and just kind of asks you
like on a scale, you know, on ascale like how do you feel about
(16:01):
this?
And then at the end they giveyou a ranking and says you know,
well, this is where you're at,you know?
Are you a switch?
Are you a submissive?
Do you want to be a slave?
Do you want to be a brat?
Do you want to be?
Where do you fall on this levelof things that you like?
Do you like poppy play?
Nice?
(16:21):
There's BDSM captures, a lot ofdifferent things.
So those are just some funterms.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
That's really cool, because, yeah, I didn't.
I've never heard of all those.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Oh my gosh, you have to go and take it.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, I'm going to go take it and um, and then I'll
post how about next week?
Um, or let's do another littleshort little pre-record video
and we'll talk about our kinksand just share it with the
audience.
I don't care, I mean I'm coolwith it, um, if you're not, I
mean I'll just do a live andI'll do it.
I never.
(16:51):
Here's the one thing.
Here's my takeaway.
I could give a rat's ass aboutwhat people think about me.
I can't, I could give a shit,and that's why I continue to do
my podcast and I continue toshow up for myself.
No one's pushing me to do this.
I don't do this for anybody butme.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Right, I mean it's, it's the education piece.
You know, that's what I loveabout it all it's educating, you
know we're just here to we'rehere to help people learn and
you know people are interestedin this.
That's why you're watching.
That's why you're watching youknow, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
So let's, we got into the the knots, let's get cause.
I want to be able to cover allof it and not be hours on this,
but, um, so we got the Shibarities.
Okay, I just, I'm sorry, that'sjust not my forte.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Some of these terms are definitely you know.
I go to Google and say, how doI say this?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, I know, but I'm like eh,okay, so the next one is and so
we've talked about bondage andwe did talk about rules, which
calls, you know, goes withdiscipline.
What about domination andsubmission?
So being a dominant andsubmissive?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
We didn't necessarily talk about discipline.
You know we talked about rules,but we didn't talk about
discipline.
Well, let's talk aboutdiscipline.
Let's talk about disciplinebecause it's not the same as
rules, Because rules we'retalking about like in terms of
this is what you like, this iswhat you don't like, this is
what I'm, this is what I'mwilling to do.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
You know, that's your rules.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
You know, setting that safe yes, a safe word is
important, is important.
But when it comes to discipline, discipline is kind of thinking
of it as discipline.
This is what you get.
This is what you get for notdoing something.
You know it's, it's thediscipline piece, so it's, it
(18:53):
might be you know that yourpartner is telling you that you
can't orgasm.
You have to hold it, you haveto hold back on your orgasm, and
they kind of just wait it out.
So it's, it might be a spanking, it might be, you know, but
discipline is.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
So there's a, there's like something that happens.
So basically you're like,you're going, I'm going to tie
you up or, if you want to be,tied up or something like that
you, you can't have an orgasm,or I'm going to tie you up.
Or if you want to be tied up orsomething like that, you, you
can't have an orgasm, or I'mgoing to tie you up and you
can't have an orgasm, thingslike that.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
So there's like a where you know, they perceive,
you know or you know when itcomes to.
You know.
I mentioned, you know before Imentioned brats and in the BDSM
world a brat is basically youknow, a brat like in the terms
of exactly how you think of, youthink of somebody that's a brat
, they're a brat.
(19:43):
So they're not necessarilylistening.
They talk back a lot.
Discipline is coming for them.
They like to be disciplined.
They know that when they'resassy and they do whatever it is
that they're going to do, thatyou know irritates.
You know that when they goagainst those things that
they're, that their person.
You know theirates.
You know that when they goagainst those things that
they're that their person, youknow their master, their person,
daddy, whomever you want tocall him, is doing or her.
(20:06):
You know both ways, cause, justkeep in mind, you know gender,
doesn't?
Gender is very fluid in this.
Yeah, there is not a genderrole that's assigned to any of
this.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
It can go either way, right?
No, it can be either way, yeah,yeah, so I mean discipline, you
know, is it's interesting?
Because I guess I would have tosay that I've had more vanilla
BDSM.
Okay, oh, I have, definitely,because mainly just, you know,
tie up little, you know the.
Handcuffs and the blindfold, theyou know, the teasing of a whip
(20:44):
or something like that.
So a little smackety smack withmy you know, whatever Right,
but I've never.
I guess, because most peopleare like, oh my God, yeah, I
don't like any pain.
I'm like, oh no, I'm not goingto and I don't want to be
hurting people.
You know, it's not my idea tohurt people.
However, when I was in collegethey brought that into class.
(21:08):
So that was what my that's whyI love my coursework was because
they brought this shit in class.
So the BDSM day the guy came inbuttless chaps, no shirt.
Well, he had to come in becausehe had to walk through campus.
So he came in clothed and thenbroke out into buttless chaps,
(21:32):
some kind of a cock hold with akey and all that it was on a key
chain like a lock key and allthat it was on a key chain like
a lock.
Um, he had a mask on, tied inthe back and locked, so he
couldn't even do anything andhis hands tied behind his back
and we couldn't see his eyes.
Only he had a mouth.
That was it.
It was just the craziest shit,okay.
(21:54):
And then he had the ball in themountain.
You know the ball, the gag, yes.
Then he had the ball in themountain.
You know the ball, the gag, yes, the gag.
So I was like now this is inclass, by the way, yes, and his
partner, and they loved all this.
So he was smacking him and, youknow, whipping him in his ass
and live show and got the candleout, lit the candle, got the
(22:15):
wax, doing it all over the body,cause that's a form of teasing
and like play and bondage.
Um, did it all over the nipples, you know, like the fire, a
little bit of fire on the bot.
I mean, it was everything.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So many different things in that one session that
I'd never seen and I've neverdone since, but it's been, it's
interesting.
So, like I'm saying, it came.
The gamma is so big.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yes, like you said, you know, it can be something as
simple as handcuffs and ablindfold and some candle wax
and a candle get a safe candle,get one of them that are made
for for it.
You don't need to do that.
You don't need to do the wax.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
I mean you know, yeah , yeah, exactly Exactly.
But you know, I mean, how coolis that, right?
I mean, to me it's like we getto, we get to experience, see
these kinds of things and go,wow, that's out there.
I'm a non-judger, I believe,whatever you, whatever, hey, you
(23:16):
know what, if you, if you havean orgasm.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If it turns you on, then you know, as long as, as
long as everybody's consensualoh, I told you the guy, the
other bdsm guy.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
he liked the part talking of submissive and dom.
He wanted pies thrown in hisface by a female not by a man,
but by a female.
So he brought all the pies.
He brought 12 of them becausethere was 12 of us girls in the
class and now some of the girlsdidn't do it.
So of course I just I didn'tcare, I wasn't getting turned on
(23:49):
.
I'm like I'm not getting turnedon but, if you are okay, so he
did and it was very it was coolto just see.
Like, like I'm saying, like yousaid, people act like animals
and it's everywhere.
So quit the judging.
It's between you and yourpartner.
Don't be talking about it withyour friends because they're
(24:11):
going to judge you, but the twoof you shouldn't be judging each
other into trying to explorethis area.
That is actually such anamazing untapped discussion that
people won't talk about.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
So I love it.
You know it really comes downto you, know it comes down to
trusting your partner, becauseyou do get to you know you, you
develop that deeper bond.
I mean really when it comesdown to it.
Sex is playtime for you and yourpartner.
When you were younger, you hadplaydates with your friends.
(24:44):
You know this is yoursocialization, this is your font
.
You know, as we get older, youknow we come into adults, we get
new toys, but playtime can be alittle bit different, and you
know, but it's, but it'simportant.
And the thing about playtime isit means and you know, but it's
, but it's important.
And the thing about playtime isit means you know to explore
and to find, you know what makesyou happy and do the things
(25:06):
that make you happy.
And sex, obviously, I feel likeit makes everybody happy.
They say most people, mostpeople happy.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So the majority of people need sex and food.
Okay, sex and food, yes, okay,that is just the reality of life
.
But we can.
Only we're not talking aboutfood properly right now already,
and especially in our Westerndiet, and we can't even talk
about sex.
I mean, come on.
So that's why we're doing thisis because we're going to
(25:40):
continue talking about sexeverywhere, all the time,
constantly.
And Shiloh made a suggestionyesterday when I talked to her
to go do lives at sex shops.
So, just so you know, I did goand reach out to one of them
already working on that, and Ihave two of them One that's
(26:01):
fully full of amazing gear formen and then another one that's
just more co-ed stuff.
So I, you are right, let's doit, let's do it.
Oh, fun, I love it, I love it,I love it.
That's super fun.
So because you know what?
Then we get people that come into the shops and they can have
questions and they want toanswer and or not, or they can
(26:25):
see your camera, depending onhow shy they are.
Yeah, but they it's like.
I mean like I get questionsconstantly sent to me by and I
know I'm getting some but I'mnot answering them because I
can't spend time looking at thatand people don't want to pop on
and do comments here because itshows on there that it's them
and that's a very uncomfortablething for a lot of people, and I
(26:47):
know this and that's what a lotof people have been struggling
with.
To try have that I've reachedout to me is like I'm sorry, I
can't like your stuff, I can'tfollow you, I can't, and so I go
, dude, don't even care.
I see my insights, I knowwhat's going on and I know that
we live in a conservative worldwhere people don't allow us to
(27:10):
talk openly and honestly aboutsex, and it's purely stupid,
purely stupid.
So it's time for us to do this.
So let's get back to BDSM.
Sorry, I just wanted to preachto you.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Nope, I like it.
I liked your little soapboxmoment, thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Soapbox, soapbox, okay.
So what else do you want to sayokay about?
You said the discipline.
I like that.
We talked about the dominationa little bit and submission, so
talk a little bit more, becauseyou did say that that does.
There's no gender relation intothat, and that is very true,
right?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
There is not right, it doesn't.
You know, like when you'retalking about especially you
know, when you're talking aboutlike submissive and dominant,
you know, like I think that ourmind automatically goes to that
being a gender specific thing,like it has to be the man,
that's the, that's theaggressive, and the female,
that's the submissive.
But that's not the case.
I mean, it goes both ways.
(28:05):
You know, there's a lot offemale dominatrix out there that
are punishing the guys thatwant to be punished, you know.
And so here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I think people think that BDSM is 50 shades of gray.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
No, no, it is not.
You know the nice thing I guessyou know I will.
I will say this about 50 shadesof gray it was a fantastic tool
to open up conversations aboutBDSM.
That is what I will give.
(28:48):
It Is that, you know, it madepeople interested and you know a
little bit more vocal aboutlike, oh, like, maybe we should
try tying up, maybe we shouldtry some of this stuff.
But ultimately, 50 shades ofgray is, it's not healthy, it
does not depict a healthyrelationship.
You know the the whole.
(29:09):
You know talking aboutboundaries.
There was never a conversation.
You know he gave her a contractand said here, this is what
this is what you get to do.
Like, that's not a conversation.
You know, and it really createdthis on real.
She signed it and she signed it.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
But that's so, that's consensual.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I mean, it's a story, but here's the deal.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
This does happen.
This does type of you know, andso that's the thing is.
You're right.
We do need to make sure, though, that we're not entering into
contracts that are truly not inour best interest, right.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
And Fifty Shades of Grey also, you know, focused on
this whole trauma filled pastthat he had, which you know.
Bdsm does not necessarily needto be anything that has to do
with trauma, it, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (29:59):
it it's not that it's really not, I think, because
people think that you arewhipping each other with whips
and chains and there's whatever.
That's kind of how I thinkpeople see it and all like not
at all, and it can be.
(30:20):
It can be whatever you want itto be Exactly.
So, yeah, um, yeah, that's.
I think a lot of people thinkthat that's what it is and it's
so, not so, it's not.
And you can go from vanilla toas crazy as he did and and like
I've seen, there's rooms in LA,um, where she um has it all set
(30:42):
up for you to do teach you BDSM.
I do, they're called it's aBDSM Airbnb.
Yeah, it's, it's so cool andit's not.
When I come to visit you, we'revisiting.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
San Francisco.
Pardon me, when I come to seeyou, we're visiting San
Francisco.
Oh yeah, we'll go up there.
You're going to be my, you'regoing to be my tour guide, and
y'all can join us.
We'll do some lives.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Oh, there we go we can do it, I love it, we can do
it on the Golden Gate Bridgebecause we'll have we'll have
Mophie Wi-Fi capability anywherewe go.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
So yeah, yeah so that one watch for that.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
You guys, when we go, when we go explore some stuff,
right, that'll be fun, yeah, andthen we're going to do it here
in Joshua tree.
So we're going to be at Joshuatree here.
We'll go to Palm Springs.
We're going to go do it by theMarilyn Monroe because she's
going to be gone.
So when you're here we'll,we'll go out and visit and
explore and then we'll just popin and do a live Boom, very nice
(31:45):
we don't have, we don't have todo anything like too, too
formal, you know, just reallycasual talk.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
No, but let's get back to BDSM.
So y'all know there's a littleteaser for later.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Okay, go, go, okay.
So what's the next?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
So it's not 50 Shades of Grey.
So, in your know, like well,that's like a control thing, and
like they're trying to controlyou, and that's not at all what
it is you are.
You are giving up controlvoluntarily, voluntarily,
voluntarily.
You are not doing this becauseyou are being forced to do it,
(32:42):
right?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
that is.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
That is the difference.
You know, there's there, it'snot a trauma so you know there's
, you know that's.
I think that's definitely ahuge misconception about it.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Um, probably and if a female gives up control, that
doesn't mean that you're givingup every control.
It's a sexual thing.
It's because I like to bedominated so I like to be, so I
like that kind of domination.
But there's a place and a timeand that's the fine line in a
(33:14):
relationship that you have tocommunicate that part to,
because otherwise I have seen itget out of control, because I
do hang out with people who arevery into the sexual world and
do things and I can see howsometimes their relationship,
that dominance, can roll overand then they just put each
(33:34):
other in check.
I've seen that, you know,because when you're really in
sync with each other and reallythat connected, it is truly like
that.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
So yes, yes, yes, I agree, and you know, I see your
point too.
You know, when you mentionedthat.
You know.
Actually, interestingly enough,people that are in like very
high powered roles have a lot ofresponsibilities.
They tend to like beingdominated in the bedroom because
(34:03):
it's somewhere and it it's,it's basically, you know.
It kind of comes down to thatpsychological thing because they
don't have to be in control,they can give it all of that up.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
That was me, I was done.
I was done.
Yeah, exactly so.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I mean, it doesn't necessarily I mean so.
I mean next time you're sittingin a meeting and you're, you
know a little bit, you know,intimidated by boss man or
whatever, just you know, picturehim tied up, scruffling
whatever.
I mean, he might be that person.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
You never know, you never know.
Oh, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
it's funny because I mean we are picturing people in
their underwear here I alwayspicture people having sex or I
always picture them doing.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
You know, I just have , I have.
I'm like I wonder if they likeall that kind of you know crazy
stuff like I like and um, butyou can tell, you know, I can
kind of tell when you're talkingto people and things they do,
you're like, oh, they like that,you know.
So yeah, okay, so dominance.
And then so one thing about thedominance it can swap, because
(35:15):
I know a lot of men that like tobe dominated.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yeah, but then they also like to, and that's a
switch.
Yeah, they love the switch.
That's a person that's known asa switch.
If you go both ways, so tospeak, then you can, and you can
absolutely go both ways.
You can be the person thatlikes to be dominated, but then
you can also be the person thatlikes to dominate.
They both have their place,that's awesome.
Yes, everything is fluid.
(35:41):
You know, that's the nice thingabout BDSM.
I mean, everything is fluid,everything is, you know, there's
.
You get to make your own rules.
Yeah, you get to decide what itis you like, what it is you
don't like, you know, and youget to try new things.
I mean, that's the other thingabout BDSM Like you get to try
(36:02):
whatever you and your partnerwant to try In a safe space, In
a safe space With that trust.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
That's the role in that space is to be safe.
And I think let's just talkabout that, Because you know
what I was thinking when youwere saying this.
I'm like, I think a lot ofpeople think that when we start
exploring, or people who explore, that it's an unsafe space when
they explore.
(36:30):
And I'm going to tell you rightnow that is not true.
So when you want to dothreesomes, you want to do
swinging, you want to do goingto, you know, sex parties, all
of that stuff, they have rulesand they have they are very
strict.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Oh, yes, and they tell you what.
They are very, very enforced.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
So here's the thing.
That's why I explored so much,because it was such a safe space
it is, and I always was witheither a girlfriend or
girlfriends or my partner, but Inever felt like I was going.
I've never been raped Right,I've never had any unconsensual
(37:15):
anything happen to me, nobodytouches you, you don't have to
worry about being touchedinappropriately.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Nobody accidentally grabs your ass.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
One time.
Somebody touched me One timeBecause I was somewhere.
He touched my leg and I saiddon't touch me.
And he actually just my wordslike that.
He got kicked out of that roomand he was made he, he was
(37:45):
scolded by the bodyguard andthat's that.
So that's why I'm saying it'slike these are really safe
spaces to explore.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
You want to go check out a sex club or you want to
check out somebody?
Yes, they are very, very safeand a great place to get started
with the you know, with thelifestyle.
To be honest, if you're, ifyou're curious, it is yeah, very
you know yes, even hotels.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
I don't know about where you live, but because I
live in the crazy world ofCalifornia, we have now in Palm
Springs we have swinging hotels,okay.
So the hotel is swinging, it iscouples and single women only.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So is that like a resort?
I mean because I know likethere's, you know there's
swingers resorts and such yeahit's a resort, so it's all
inclusive.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
And then they have rules Like if your door's, yeah,
it's a resort, so it's allinclusive.
And then they have rules Likeif your door's open, it's this.
If your door's closed, if youwant them to come in, there's
all these rules that they have.
So there's places everywhere.
Vegas has them everything.
So if you want to explore anddo things, you can.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
And it will be safe.
And here's the thing too hereand do things you can, and it
will be safe.
And here's the thing too.
Here's a fun little fact.
Generally speaking, ladies,you're in charge.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yeah, right, you get to make all the decisions.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
The ladies run this show.
Yes, ladies run this.
This is not a men make therules kind of thing.
This is a ladies make the ruleskind of thing.
This is a ladies make the ruleskind of thing.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
That is right, Yep, exactly yeah yeah, very much,
very much.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
the ladies make the rules.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Right, exactly, and just so.
I mean, I have 30-year-oldscalling me and saying you know,
I'm thinking I'd like to do alittle tie up and I'm like
you're just doing it now.
Oh, my, my love, let's get yougoing.
Get going on it sooner thanlater.
(39:42):
Enjoy, try it, test it out.
I mean playing in the bedroom.
That's the whole.
Goal is to play with yourfriend who's now your partner in
life.
And you know, if you don't play, it deepens your bond.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Yeah, it deepens the trust that you have with each
other.
It deepens the bond that youhave.
I mean, you know, to know thatyou can trust them in this and
be like super vulnerable inthese very intimate positions
and in scenes like it.
Just it really does strengthenyour relationship?
Speaker 1 (40:20):
yes, and it doesn't, and doesn't put a lot of trust
and the outcome doesn't have tohave an orgasm.
The outcome doesn't need to bean orgasm.
The outcome doesn't need to bean orgasm.
In fact, BDSM is actuallybetter with that anticipation,
the buildup of oh I'm going to,you can't do this, or you can't
(40:42):
do that, or I'm going to tie youup tonight or whatever it is
and it play with you and youdon't get anything the rest of
the night and then you have towait till the next day.
I mean, that's part of it and itis fun when you do build up.
Instead of men who think thatthey need to release daily perks
(41:02):
, you need to do a build up and,boy, that release will be way
different than anything else.
Okay, One other thing I wantedto say um, because you brought
up the BDSM, um, uh test thatpeople could take so they could
find out Okay cool, so I'm goingto post it though on the, on
(41:25):
the link in my bio, and I'm alsogoing to suggest Msaya
J-A-I-Y-A I am saying it right,I'm just spelling it so you can
go.
She has an erotic blueprint thatshe developed and it was 20
years making and you can go findthat out as well, and that
(41:45):
helps you as well in thatconnection, to find out your
eroticism, what kind of kink youlike and all of that, and then
you do it with your partner.
Then you can really getunderstand your BDSM kink, your
erotic kink, and kind of putthose puzzle pieces together to
help each other out, becausethat's the goal is to work out
(42:09):
each other's fantasies and havesome fun.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Absolutely, absolutely.
You're supposed to have fun.
You need to have fun.
That's the sex is having fun.
Yeah, it should never be, youknow, once it becomes not fun
and you're not with the rightpartner.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
I want to change my name to fun.
I'm just kidding.
Um, I always tell everyone I'mkidding.
I always tell everyone my nameis F?
U?
N.
My name is F-U-N.
Say what I?
Just because I love to have funand I do, I love to have fun.
Okay, so let's see Any lastminute stuff on this.
My love that you want to youwant to.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Oh, let's talk about aftercare.
Aftercare is very, veryimportant.
So the biggest thing about BDSMis you are pushing your
boundaries in many, many, manyways and aftercare is essential
to just.
You know it's cuddling, it's,you know, talking, you know it's
talking to each other, it'sjust having that, it's, it's the
snuggling after sex y'all.
It has to happen, it has to, ithas to happen and the check-in,
the check-in about what happens.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
It's how you're feeling.
You want to talk about it.
You want to talk about what wasdone.
You want to, you want to havethat conversation, you know, to
make it better for next time,but also to just, you know, make
sure, you know you're deepeningthat bond.
You know you just did somethingthat was outside of your, you
know, outside of your norm, youknow that you were pushing, you
(43:45):
know that you were pushing.
The fears were, you know you'repushing all the limits that you
have and so, having that person, you know afterwards, okay, now
let's take it down, let's talkabout it, let me, let me kiss
you a little bit extra, let mesnuggle with you, hug you,
whatever you need, just to makesure that you are being taken
(44:06):
care of emotionally, physically,just you know all of it.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
It's important, and here's the thing.
Just, you know all of it.
It's important, and here's thething, and and the reason why
and you can attest to this tooI'm assuming, because we both
have been out there and havedone it that that check-in is to
what did I like, what didn't Ilike and what do we need to do
better next time, becausenothing's going to be a hundred
(44:31):
percent and each time is goingto be different and it's going
to get better and better.
Um, and I don't suggest doingeverything all at once and tie
up and let's do anal at the sametime and let's do this.
Let's not be over.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
You know, what you don't do, what you're
comfortable with.
You know, yeah, you don't haveto start everything at one time,
but you don't do what you'recomfortable with.
You know, yeah, you don't haveto start everything at one time,
but you don't do what you'recomfortable with.
You know add in.
You know add in something.
You know different each time.
You know put a little twist onit.
But, like you said, you knowyou're going to talk about it
and you're going to make itbetter.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, and that is part of that aftercare is.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
You know you're talking, didn't feel good.
What do you ever, ever, everwant to do again?
I mean, you have that safe word, so you know, if you get to
that point of something that youdon't like, you definitely
should be using the safe word,because that could that ends.
I'll play immediately, just soyou know.
The safe word is like the autoeject out of a plane, like you
(45:25):
hit it.
You're gone like it's done, sojust you know.
So just keep that in mind.
But it's talking, you know.
But aftercare just includesthat.
You know, it's talking.
It's just that.
Extra, extra love.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
You out with that whole little security blanket.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
To bring you back into you, know, to bring you
back to you.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
So yeah, yeah, no, it's so true.
You so yeah, yeah, no, it's sotrue.
And um, you know, I just wantto say for those that think, oh
my gosh, I don't have the moneyto do this kind of stuff, that's
not.
Let me be really clear.
You can use bed sheets.
You can use your dish towelsget some towels, rip it up, cut
(46:11):
them up.
Or dish towels get some towels,rip it up, cut them up.
I don't care.
There are so many things thatyou can do and people go, oh
well, I don't have bedposts, Ineed bedposts.
Okay, listen, you can tie up,put the bed underneath, run it
through, run two through, tie itthrough.
You don't need bedposts.
Get creative, Get online itthrough.
(46:35):
You don't need bedposts.
Get creative, Get online, Lookat ways to do tie up.
But you don't need you can usethings in your household.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
You can.
Yes, people get very.
You can get very, very creative.
And you're absolutely right,you really don't need a lot to
get started.
It's not hard to create ablindfold.
You can create a blindfold withany piece of fabric, yes, and
you can create tie ups with anypiece of fabric, exactly so,
boom, you got an automatic BDSMlittle scene right there with
(47:01):
just random pieces of fabricthat you have laying around,
whether it be a shirt or a tieor Exactly.
Yes or a scarf.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
You know, women have scarves.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
You know what there are are?
Yes, we have so many differentwe have, we can do this for a
while we can look around and belike and I could use that, and I
could use that and maybe that.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
So I've used um my cell phone chargers my long ones
yeah, hey, hey, it worked, itit works.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
It works.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Another thing if they're going to have someone
tied up, this is really fun.
Okay, if you're going to tiethem up, do get some fun things
to tickle them, like a featheror you know, and I like to get a
whip and a little smackitysmack, I mean, I feel like the
whole point of being tied up.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
I mean you get to do stuff to your partner that you,
that they don't, that they can'tstop you from unless they say
it before.
So I mean you know, sky's thelimit.
You know, pull out the feathers, pull out the whips, pull out
the whipped cream, just don'tput it, you know, down there,
because you know, sugars andvaginal juices or whatever are
not good.
That causes infections y'all.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
No bueno.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
I mean, you know those feathers and candle, you
know wax, hot wax.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Yep hot wax, Get paint you can paint.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Yes, there's so many, you can do a whole paint.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
So here's a good one.
They could go watch Sex, loveand Goop that's a great Netflix
series to get some more ideas.
That whole series I just reallyloved and I've been watching it
.
I know we've been talking aboutit and I just feel like the
more that people do thingstogether, watch Netflix movies
(48:47):
like that, watch videos like us,get out there and explore a
little bit themselves, theirrelationship will deepen.
And I'm really seeing thatpeople are not having very deep
relations because they're nothaving sex and they're just
dealing with the day-to-daylives.
And it's time to spruce it upand get, get things moving and,
(49:11):
you know, so we can have betterrelations with our partner
forever, not for just a time orwhatever Right.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
So well, and I would say you know, and you know my
specialty.
You know I'm all about lovingyourself, so my goal is to help
women love themselves properly.
So, ladies, if you'restruggling with loving yourself,
I'm here for you.
I would love to help you.
You know I'm here, and that'sright, cause we don't know how
to love ourselves.
We don't.
We're terrible about it.
(49:41):
No, we put everybody first, andthen we've been shamed forever
around our sexuality so we don'teven know and we're bombarded
with information and there's somuch wrong information out here.
So I love doing this with youso that we can talk about these
different terms and we can talkabout how you know what they
actually are and you know, givepeople good information.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Yeah and honest and and yeah and about the coaching.
Here's the thing If you're notspending money on yourself
coaching, you know, getting somekind of coaching or self-help
either yearly, it doesn't haveto be a lot, it could be just
something You're doing it wrong,honestly.
I'm telling you, I've benefitedfrom all the coaching in my
(50:25):
years of life and you're right,a coach pushes you in different
ways that you can't pushyourself.
And I have a coach during thisprocess that I'm doing and I
have to.
I mean, and I've not just hadone coach, I've had a few
different ones, they've allprovided me different ones.
(50:47):
I just met another lady lastnight.
I'm going to hire her.
We're going to work together.
I know we all need help and ifyou're not spending money on
yourself with some kind ofcoaching, then you're doing
(51:07):
yourself a disservice, honestly,and your relationship and the
people around you, because youwill just better and do be doing
the things that you want to do.
And so I know that they can goto you're on my link in my bio.
They can go to there, they canbook an appointment, whatnot,
and ladies, all of this stuff.
(51:29):
Now we've got so many paymentoption type things clarna, a
firm all these things.
So when everyone's oh my god, Idon't have money, yeah, you do,
you do.
You just have to put that aside.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
yes, and you know, and I will say you know that you
know, when it comes to coaching, you know the idea, the, the
goal behind coaching is to makeyou better and, with you know,
loving your o, like that's whatI like to call it I'm, I'm the
love your o.
So you know it's basically,you're become better in all
(52:02):
areas of your life, it's notjust one.
You don't just, you know, thisisn't designed so that you just
become great in the bedroom like, yay, I, yay, I want you to
know yourself Absolutely, but itspreads, yeah, it spreads
everywhere, when you becomeempowered sexually, oh my God.
Like it's, it's basically itshows, it unleashes this whole
(52:24):
different level for you.
Yeah 100%.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
And I want to say this I really I have people say
when I lose weight, I'll getcoaching, when I have done X,
I'll get coaching.
Here's the thing.
Okay, you don't need to loseweight to find yourself sexually
(52:51):
.
You will find yourself sexually, and I will trust you that you
will lose weight because of theswag that you will have after
finding yourself sexually.
Speaker 2 (53:06):
Yes, and I mean and you know, and to your point, I
mean you know, you, everyoneshould learn how to love
themselves where they are.
You know, like you said, youknow you don't have to wait, you
know, to lose weight to havesex At the same time, you don't
have to lose weight to loveyourself.
No, this should not be like youneed to be thinking, you know.
(53:29):
Basically, people need to think, be thankful for their bodies
every day.
Yeah, Because your body allowsyou to do everything that you
need to do.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean you know, it's inyour body like it's doing a lot
for you.
Speaker 2 (53:44):
regardless of what it looks like and how much you
criticize it, it is doing whatit is supposed to be doing for
you.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
And what you're doing for it.
So if you're eating shitty,it's going to look shitty.
If you're not exercising, it'snot going to look like you're
exercising.
So and I only know this becauseI only started my exercise and
eating routine only a year agoand because I was, like probably
everyone else, that I thought,oh, I'm just, you know, this is
(54:11):
just the way it is.
But I informed myself and it'snot so, and since then I have
lost weight and I do feel better, and I know that everyone else
can do the same.
It's just it does, it's not,doesn't happen overnight, I
think, people, it'll go likethis and it doesn't Remember.
(54:32):
If it took you 30 years to makeyour body look like crap, it's
going to take you a few years toget back out of that and you
don't want to be doing it in oneyear because you want to be
doing it healthily.
So, just, and the reason why Iuse that model I used to tell my
doctors they would get me inthere as a consultant and go, oh
, can you fix this?
(54:53):
I mean, can you fix my office?
It's a mess, it's a shit show.
Yes, it's a big shit show.
So how long has it been likethis, oh, the last.
You know it got really worselast two years, but 10 years, oh
, okay.
Well, can you get this done inlike what?
90 days?
No, this is going to be atwo-year process.
I'm sorry.
I mean we're going to have towork out the kinks and it'll all
(55:15):
get flowing, but yeah, it'sgoing to be a process, sorry.
So we are such immediate, wehave to have immediate
satisfaction.
It just doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
Yes, remember, we're a very good now society.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
So we could go on and on.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
Yes, so I love talking to you, though, and I
love it, but I'm like it's 55minutes and I'm wondering like
people are like get off, get off.
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Wait, did y'all get off?
Speaker 1 (55:48):
Sorry, that's a good one, thank you.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
So let me just do a little plug.
I have a podcast.
This will go up in our live, inour streams, so you can go and
rewatch this as many times asyou want and laugh with us.
Shiloh and I are back hereevery Tuesday at 10 am Pacific
Standard Time.
Shiloh and I are back hereevery Tuesday at 10 am Pacific
Standard Time.
(56:16):
We're working on our trivia,our sex trivia, and that should
come out sometime in April.
We're looking forward to that.
And then this Thursday, pleasejoin me for not a live podcast,
it's a prerecorded podcast andit's a Fitbit for the penis.
That's right.
(56:36):
It's a cock changer, not a gamechanger.
A cock changer Wow, that'sexciting.
Yeah, yeah, it's exciting.
Oh, I, I'm so excited aboutthis product because it's
measuring men's sexual healthwith their cardiac health, and
you and I both know that sexlessbecause we did our dead bedroom
(56:59):
series.
We know that there's a lot ofdead bedrooms and some of it has
to do with health issues.
So this is really cool that wecan get down to the bottom of
this.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Absolutely, that's going to be very exciting.
I look forward to hearing it.
Speaker 1 (57:12):
Yeah, and I, I, and this is great, because next week
we're going to do c.
I don't know what we're doing.
Do we know we're?
Speaker 2 (57:18):
doing.
Oh, actually we are doing umthe most fabulous c word,
clitoris, the clitoris switch ohthat's fun fact, do you know
that 2005,.
2005 is when they actuallybecame like they actually had
like a full-size scale made ofthe clitoris Get out.
(57:40):
I know I saw that.
I was like wow, Just in 2005.
Yeah, that was on the Goopseries.
I actually watched when I waswatching the Goop series.
Speaker 1 (57:47):
I saw that when she pulled the whole series.
Speaker 2 (57:55):
I saw that she was like, it was like 2005.
And I mean, I know that it'sbeen 30 years since they, you
know, discovered like theclitoral, like just that.
The clitoris is more than justthe little teeny, tiny knob in
the front.
You see, it's all internal,y'all.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
It's all internal and it's yeah it's a big web when I
saw it.
Yeah, we're going to talk aboutit next week.
We're going to have a wholeconversation about it.
It's a big web.
When I saw it.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
Yeah, we're going to talk about it next week.
We're going to have a wholeconversation about it.
It's going to be fun.
Speaker 1 (58:14):
I love it.
I love it, I love it, okay, andso I did post.
I will post the links in myReddit.
I'll post the links on my links.
All the stuff that you'vetalked about, all the stuff I've
talked about.
It's it All right?
Thanks for joining me, shiloh.
Speaker 2 (58:32):
Have a great one, bye .
Speaker 1 (58:35):
Bye.
Make sure it says everything's going live.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I don't know why I pretend I don't have any glasses
.
I want to be like the littlelady with these glasses, with my
readers on.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Okay, you can have your readers on.
Hey, listen, we're old, we loveit.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The alternative is not an option.
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We're all going to grow old, we're all going to age
, so we need to think that we'renot going to stay young forever
, right, and we're going tochange.
Our bodies are going to changeEverything.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yes, very true.
We just have to love ourselveshow we are.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
All we can do.
Let me just make sure you arelive.
I'm making sure because Ididn't think I was live last and
I wasn't like, oh my God, Allright.
So today we're back here withShiloh.
This is Stephanie with let'stalk about sex with me,
Stephanie Smith.
And this with Shiloh.
This is Stephanie with let'sTalk About Sex With me,
(01:06):
Stephanie Smith.
And this is Shiloh.
Hobby with Love your Own, HelloShiloh.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Hi everybody.
How are you today, stephanie?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I am fabulous, I'm awesome.
Honestly, I'm going to tell youa little story.
I went last night my girlfriendsorry, there's like a little
cough thing going on, I guess Ihave a little one last night I
go out with my girlfriend.
She invited me, she's doing aconcert, I go to listen to her,
she's fabulous.
And, um, I just got my booty on, but it was everyone, was
(01:38):
pretty much over 50 there.
I mean, that's pretty much.
I mean maybe there were acouple of young kids, but of the
, you know, so it's an over 50community.
Everyone was rocking out,having fun and of course I
people called me the teenager.
I guess I looked like ateenager because I was totally
dancing and up, and that's justme.
(01:59):
And I will tell you, it'sinteresting how sometimes people
just sit there and they justdon't move.
There's no movement and to me,just music moves me.
It moves me.
I hear music and it's like I'mdancing.
(02:20):
I could be walking somewhere,hear music and I'm dancing In
the grocery aisle.
I have done that.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I listen to the music Because they rock out in the
grocery store now, although Iwill say you know it used to
make me feel old.
But I realized that they doplay newer music now in grocery
stores, so it's not just likethe older music, they kind of
play everything.
Yeah, so I absolutely rock outin the grocery stores.
So it's not just like the oldermusic, they kind of play
everything.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah so.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I absolutely rock out in the grocery store.
I do too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And I don't you know, and I'm in the car, I'm dancing
and I, like, my friend has astrobe light in her car and
that's like we.
That's the thing.
So to me, we got to move people, people, people, people.
Let's move.
So today's movement, which isgoing to be fun Cause we're
(03:14):
going to have an interestingmovement- that's not what the M
stands for, stephanie.
No, no, no BDSM.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, the big B.
That's not what M stands forCause.
Right, we're doing A to Z.
Thank you, shiloh, we are, butI'm just saying the M in BDSM
does not stand for movement.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
No, anyways, but you know, so tell me.
You know BDSM a lot of.
Let's just get some of thesekind of crazy things in our
heads out of the way.
A lot of people think that BDSMis just for people who have,
who are mentally unstable that'snot true or have trauma issues.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
That's not true, Very untrue, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Basically I would say to myself.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Why don't we explain?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Why don't we start off with what is?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
BDSM.
So BDSM stands for bondagediscipline, masochism and sadism
.
And bondage discipline kind ofwhat it sounds like.
Sadism is going to be theperson that likes to inflict the
pain and the masochist is theperson that likes to receive the
(04:35):
pain.
And you know yes, I'm sure thatthere probably are people.
I mean, we all have traumas, solet's just go ahead and say
that.
But trauma doesn't haveanything to do with BDSM, it's
just another form of sexuality.
It's, I would call it, it's thenext playground and you know,
(04:56):
you can start off with BDSMpretty lightly.
I mean, you know, if you'veever brought a blindfold into
the bedroom or tied your wristwith you know, tied your
partner's wrist with you know atie or something you've done.
Bdsm, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
You know, I mean, yeah, I think that people don't
realize that like handcuffs, alittle necktie with a little tie
, just something as simple asthat with a little tying, just
something as simple as that.
So the range here is very broadand there's so much that
encompasses.
We will certainly not becovering it all today, but we're
(05:33):
just going to pick it a littlebit.
So let's start with the firstone bondage and discipline, or
you know, or what do you want to, however?
Domination, however you, orsubmission, however you want to
say.
But let's talk about bondage.
What is, what are all thedifferent types of bondages that
are out there?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So I mean in regards to bondage, it generally means
you know, like just some type ofrestraint and I will say you
know.
In regards to BDSM, I will sayyou know, in regards to BDSM,
your imagination is kind of thelimit.
You know, you and your partnerget to explore however you want
(06:16):
to bind, you know, put yourpartner into bondage.
You know, or experience thatbondage for yourself.
You know whether it be chivalry, which is role play.
You know, or you know,something extreme as far as like
a St Christopher's cross, whichis that X cross and people are
up on.
I've seen that, or handcuffs youknow, so it could be.
You know all different levels,you know I mean some people
(06:39):
break out the zip ties becausethat's what they're into you
know, so it just depends on whatyour level is.
But bondage is going to bebondage.
You're bonded, you're, you'rebinding in some way, right?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And when.
Thank you for making meactually do some research on
this stuff, cause I'm enjoyingit, I love it, it it is actually
there's so much, there's somuch, there's so much.
So let me just explain some ofthe things that I've seen.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, what did you?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
find Well what I've seen out there in the world,
because my degree was in minorin human sexuality, so I wanted
to see everything.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
And you're in the perfect place for it all too.
I will say.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I was in San Francisco.
I honestly, it was justhonestly the most beautiful
place and to be able toexperience all this stuff.
So I went to this thing called.
What they called is the PowerExchange.
They have one in San Franciscoand they have one in LA, I don't
know if they're still there.
They're multi-level facilities,so multiple floors and each
(07:48):
floor means something, and sothe bondage floor, the BDSM or
any of the, what they noted aslike anything it was pretty much
what they labeled as crazy waswe had wheels, that you could go
(08:09):
a woman could go on and spin.
It's a spin wheel.
They had doctor's tables, thegynecological tables, up.
They had their feet up in there.
They had that going on.
They had their feet up in there.
They had that going on.
They had the swings, the sexswings, hanging from the ceiling
(08:30):
.
They had all different kinds ofthose.
That was awesome, yeah, it wascrazy.
The places that you could putsomeone to then tie them up.
Us, we'll do it in our bedroom,right, we're going to do it in
our bedroom, a hotel room, achair, things like that.
So using ropes, you know, orany kind of ties you know, is
(09:03):
good, yeah.
So my point is, though, that itis kind of crazy how far the
mind can go, cause I mean seeingall that stuff for my first
time, it was like holy crap,like really yeah, and I did get
into, I did go to see it.
I was.
I didn't go, obviously, watchanything, but I went to observe.
They had dungeons in a basementand they created just cement.
(09:27):
It was just cement walls withyou know things to tie your arms
up, your legs, any, any kind ofway to tie all over the room,
any kind of way to tie all overthe room, so they actually have
places.
If you want to get tied up andhave BDSM to happen to you, you
(09:48):
can go to these places.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Absolutely, and I mean you know.
And to your and to your points,I mean you know really it's to
find these places.
You know it can be as easy aslooking.
You know you can look online.
Obviously the Internet's fullof things, but I know, like
within the meetup I want to sayit's meetup there is.
I'm in, I'm in the Austin areaand I know here like there's
(10:12):
some rope classes and such likethat that you can go to.
I also know of, like, thedifferent clubs.
I went to a kink fest at one ofthe sex clubs here and like
you're describing you know itwas, it was interesting.
I mean, you know, just inregards to BDSM, can we just
talk about one thing and that'sboundaries.
(10:32):
Yeah, BDSM has some boundaries.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
There's rules.
That's a whole rule talk.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, there's a lot of rules and you know, like,
even going to these differentclubs there's a lot of rules
Like you can watch, but youdon't, you know.
But generally there's a tapedoff area and you have to stay
behind the line and there ispeople, there are people that
are walking around making surethat you are not invading that
(11:00):
play place.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So you know.
That's a good point that youpoint out, because one there's
not.
You have to know the rules.
Number one to be able to playBDSM with your partner.
You really need to have thatconversation.
But definitely, if you're goingto go and explore, like we do,
you definitely need to know therules, because there are rules
(11:23):
and you will get kicked out in ahot minute, but it's also it's
a boundary thing.
So don't just think like youget to go in there and start
just touching everybody.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Well, it's safety.
I mean, nobody wants to be.
You know, it's one thing to betouched by the person that you
want to be touched by, and thenyou know that other part where
you know it's not, you know it'sall consensual.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yes, yes, yeah.
So let's get back to the ropepart, because I love that that
you have courses there in yourarea.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
There are courses I know I totally want to take one.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I think that's great, actually.
Well, that's why I'm going totell you, because I, just as you
made, as I did, this um,there's Shibari yes, s H I, b A
R I ties, and this was created.
I wanted to know why was theShibari originated?
How was it?
And it was originated back.
(12:13):
It's a restraining method forcaptives in a form of torture,
so back in the day in Japan, andthen they got this kumbuka,
kumbuka, bondage, k-i-n-b-a-q-uand it translates to the beauty
of tight binding.
(12:34):
And that's actually really cool, because I don't, I've been
tied up in a shibari type of atie, did not know that that was
the type of tie.
I've been tied up in other ways,just the normal vanilla way, if
we will, hands, handcuffs, youknow, bed sheets, whatever, but
(12:57):
I will say that a shibari tiewhen I, I, I, you know we had
that.
No, I'm like, I have anxietyissues, I have, you know, like I
, I, claustrophobia issues.
So to me, tying is very hardfor sometimes, for for people,
especially if you have thesetypes of issues.
(13:19):
So, one, it's a breathing thatyou have to do and second, it's
really that communication withyour partner.
If it's not tight and you don't, if you say get me out of this
right now.
It's not, oh well, we're almostdone.
(13:39):
No, no, no, no, no.
It's get me out of it right now, right now, because I'm gonna
fucking lose my shit.
Yes, um, and I will say thatthat and I had both hands, I
mean everything tied behind myback and tight in the waist,
(14:00):
because shibari can go in thewaist and the legs, everything
Extremely erotic.
And now could I do it today?
No, that was like 20 years ago.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Oh, you mean that was when you were younger and more
flexible, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Well, and a little bit more.
Like I could, you know, dealwith that kind of shit, but
there's no way now.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
And here's the thing, Like I think, when you're tying
people up like I you know I'veplayed enough, Okay People who
have claustrophobia issues, youjust don't have to.
You don't have to.
You can have one hand out, youcan have it loose, so you can
get yourself out really quickly.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Whatever, right, I think that you know.
I think that the most importantthing that people really need
to take away from you know,thinking about BDSM, it is very
structured in terms of rules.
You very much.
You have to have that, you know.
You know my favorite wordcommunication, right, I mean,
you have to, you have to talk toyour partners.
(15:13):
There's actually a test thatyou can take to determine what
your kinks are and what kind ofthings you're interested in.
And it's at yes, it's atbdsmtestorg.
Okay, we'll post it on the link.
Yeah, we'll put that in the,we'll put that in the notes for
everyone to go out and and takeyour and go out and take your,
(15:38):
your test Cause, yes, and see,yes, and see where you're at,
see where you fall on yourlevels of kinkiness.
Well, tell us about it.
I have taken it.
It's been a moment since I'vetaken it, but it's very
interesting.
It really does go through.
It goes through all of thekinks and just kind of asks you
like on a scale, you know, on ascale like how do you feel about
(16:01):
this?
And then at the end they giveyou a ranking and says you know,
well, this is where you're at,you know?
Are you a switch?
Are you a submissive?
Do you want to be a slave?
Do you want to be a brat?
Do you want to be?
Where do you fall on this levelof things that you like?
Do you like poppy play?
Nice?
(16:21):
There's BDSM captures, a lot ofdifferent things.
So those are just some funterms.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
That's really cool, because, yeah, I didn't.
I've never heard of all those.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Oh my gosh, you have to go and take it.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, I'm going to go take it and um, and then I'll
post how about next week?
Um, or let's do another littleshort little pre-record video
and we'll talk about our kinksand just share it with the
audience.
I don't care, I mean I'm coolwith it, um, if you're not, I
mean I'll just do a live andI'll do it.
I never.
(16:51):
Here's the one thing.
Here's my takeaway.
I could give a rat's ass aboutwhat people think about me.
I can't, I could give a shit,and that's why I continue to do
my podcast and I continue toshow up for myself.
No one's pushing me to do this.
I don't do this for anybody butme.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Right, I mean it's, it's the education piece.
You know, that's what I loveabout it all it's educating, you
know we're just here to we'rehere to help people learn and
you know people are interestedin this.
That's why you're watching.
That's why you're watching youknow, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
So let's, we got into the the knots, let's get cause.
I want to be able to cover allof it and not be hours on this,
but, um, so we got the Shibarities.
Okay, I just, I'm sorry, that'sjust not my forte.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Some of these terms are definitely you know.
I go to Google and say, how doI say this?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, I know, but I'm like eh,okay, so the next one is and so
we've talked about bondage andwe did talk about rules, which
calls, you know, goes withdiscipline.
What about domination andsubmission?
So being a dominant andsubmissive?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
We didn't necessarily talk about discipline.
You know we talked about rules,but we didn't talk about
discipline.
Well, let's talk aboutdiscipline.
Let's talk about disciplinebecause it's not the same as
rules, Because rules we'retalking about like in terms of
this is what you like, this iswhat you don't like, this is
what I'm, this is what I'mwilling to do.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
You know, that's your rules.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
You know, setting that safe yes, a safe word is
important, is important.
But when it comes to discipline, discipline is kind of thinking
of it as discipline.
This is what you get.
This is what you get for notdoing something.
You know it's, it's thediscipline piece, so it's, it
(18:53):
might be you know that yourpartner is telling you that you
can't orgasm.
You have to hold it, you haveto hold back on your orgasm, and
they kind of just wait it out.
So it's, it might be a spanking, it might be, you know, but
discipline is.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
So there's a, there's like something that happens.
So basically you're like,you're going, I'm going to tie
you up or, if you want to be,tied up or something like that
you, you can't have an orgasm,or I'm going to tie you up.
Or if you want to be tied up orsomething like that, you, you
can't have an orgasm, or I'mgoing to tie you up and you
can't have an orgasm, thingslike that.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
So there's like a where you know, they perceive,
you know or you know when itcomes to.
You know.
I mentioned, you know before Imentioned brats and in the BDSM
world a brat is basically youknow, a brat like in the terms
of exactly how you think of, youthink of somebody that's a brat
, they're a brat.
(19:43):
So they're not necessarilylistening.
They talk back a lot.
Discipline is coming for them.
They like to be disciplined.
They know that when they'resassy and they do whatever it is
that they're going to do, thatyou know irritates.
You know that when they goagainst those things that
they're, that their person.
You know theirates.
You know that when they goagainst those things that
they're that their person, youknow their master, their person,
daddy, whomever you want tocall him, is doing or her.
(20:06):
You know both ways, cause, justkeep in mind, you know gender,
doesn't?
Gender is very fluid in this.
Yeah, there is not a genderrole that's assigned to any of
this.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
It can go either way, right?
No, it can be either way, yeah,yeah, so I mean discipline, you
know, is it's interesting?
Because I guess I would have tosay that I've had more vanilla
BDSM.
Okay, oh, I have, definitely,because mainly just, you know,
tie up little, you know the.
Handcuffs and the blindfold, theyou know, the teasing of a whip
(20:44):
or something like that.
So a little smackety smack withmy you know, whatever Right,
but I've never.
I guess, because most peopleare like, oh my God, yeah, I
don't like any pain.
I'm like, oh no, I'm not goingto and I don't want to be
hurting people.
You know, it's not my idea tohurt people.
However, when I was in collegethey brought that into class.
(21:08):
So that was what my that's whyI love my coursework was because
they brought this shit in class.
So the BDSM day the guy came inbuttless chaps, no shirt.
Well, he had to come in becausehe had to walk through campus.
So he came in clothed and thenbroke out into buttless chaps,
(21:32):
some kind of a cock hold with akey and all that it was on a key
chain like a lock key and allthat it was on a key chain like
a lock.
Um, he had a mask on, tied inthe back and locked, so he
couldn't even do anything andhis hands tied behind his back
and we couldn't see his eyes.
Only he had a mouth.
That was it.
It was just the craziest shit,okay.
(21:54):
And then he had the ball in themountain.
You know the ball, the gag, yes.
Then he had the ball in themountain.
You know the ball, the gag, yes, the gag.
So I was like now this is inclass, by the way, yes, and his
partner, and they loved all this.
So he was smacking him and, youknow, whipping him in his ass
and live show and got the candleout, lit the candle, got the
(22:15):
wax, doing it all over the body,cause that's a form of teasing
and like play and bondage.
Um, did it all over the nipples, you know, like the fire, a
little bit of fire on the bot.
I mean, it was everything.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So many different things in that one session that
I'd never seen and I've neverdone since, but it's been, it's
interesting.
So, like I'm saying, it came.
The gamma is so big.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yes, like you said, you know, it can be something as
simple as handcuffs and ablindfold and some candle wax
and a candle get a safe candle,get one of them that are made
for for it.
You don't need to do that.
You don't need to do the wax.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
I mean you know, yeah , yeah, exactly Exactly.
But you know, I mean, how coolis that, right?
I mean, to me it's like we getto, we get to experience, see
these kinds of things and go,wow, that's out there.
I'm a non-judger, I believe,whatever you, whatever, hey, you
(23:16):
know what, if you, if you havean orgasm.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If it turns you on, then you know, as long as, as
long as everybody's consensualoh, I told you the guy, the
other bdsm guy.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
he liked the part talking of submissive and dom.
He wanted pies thrown in hisface by a female not by a man,
but by a female.
So he brought all the pies.
He brought 12 of them becausethere was 12 of us girls in the
class and now some of the girlsdidn't do it.
So of course I just I didn'tcare, I wasn't getting turned on
(23:49):
.
I'm like I'm not getting turnedon but, if you are okay, so he
did and it was very it was coolto just see.
Like, like I'm saying, like yousaid, people act like animals
and it's everywhere.
So quit the judging.
It's between you and yourpartner.
Don't be talking about it withyour friends because they're
(24:11):
going to judge you, but the twoof you shouldn't be judging each
other into trying to explorethis area.
That is actually such anamazing untapped discussion that
people won't talk about.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
So I love it.
You know it really comes downto you, know it comes down to
trusting your partner, becauseyou do get to you know you, you
develop that deeper bond.
I mean really when it comesdown to it.
Sex is playtime for you and yourpartner.
When you were younger, you hadplaydates with your friends.
(24:44):
You know this is yoursocialization, this is your font
.
You know, as we get older, youknow we come into adults, we get
new toys, but playtime can be alittle bit different, and you
know, but it's, but it'simportant.
And the thing about playtime isit means and you know, but it's
, but it's important.
And the thing about playtime isit means you know to explore
and to find, you know what makesyou happy and do the things
(25:06):
that make you happy.
And sex, obviously, I feel likeit makes everybody happy.
They say most people, mostpeople happy.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So the majority of people need sex and food.
Okay, sex and food, yes, okay,that is just the reality of life
.
But we can.
Only we're not talking aboutfood properly right now already,
and especially in our Westerndiet, and we can't even talk
about sex.
I mean, come on.
So that's why we're doing thisis because we're going to
(25:40):
continue talking about sexeverywhere, all the time,
constantly.
And Shiloh made a suggestionyesterday when I talked to her
to go do lives at sex shops.
So, just so you know, I did goand reach out to one of them
already working on that, and Ihave two of them One that's
(26:01):
fully full of amazing gear formen and then another one that's
just more co-ed stuff.
So I, you are right, let's doit, let's do it.
Oh, fun, I love it, I love it,I love it.
That's super fun.
So because you know what?
Then we get people that come into the shops and they can have
questions and they want toanswer and or not, or they can
(26:25):
see your camera, depending onhow shy they are.
Yeah, but they it's like.
I mean like I get questionsconstantly sent to me by and I
know I'm getting some but I'mnot answering them because I
can't spend time looking at thatand people don't want to pop on
and do comments here because itshows on there that it's them
and that's a very uncomfortablething for a lot of people, and I
(26:47):
know this and that's what a lotof people have been struggling
with.
To try have that I've reachedout to me is like I'm sorry, I
can't like your stuff, I can'tfollow you, I can't, and so I go
, dude, don't even care.
I see my insights, I knowwhat's going on and I know that
we live in a conservative worldwhere people don't allow us to
(27:10):
talk openly and honestly aboutsex, and it's purely stupid,
purely stupid.
So it's time for us to do this.
So let's get back to BDSM.
Sorry, I just wanted to preachto you.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Nope, I like it.
I liked your little soapboxmoment, thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Soapbox, soapbox, okay.
So what else do you want to sayokay about?
You said the discipline.
I like that.
We talked about the dominationa little bit and submission, so
talk a little bit more, becauseyou did say that that does.
There's no gender relation intothat, and that is very true,
right?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
There is not right, it doesn't.
You know, like when you'retalking about especially you
know, when you're talking aboutlike submissive and dominant,
you know, like I think that ourmind automatically goes to that
being a gender specific thing,like it has to be the man,
that's the, that's theaggressive, and the female,
that's the submissive.
But that's not the case.
I mean, it goes both ways.
(28:05):
You know, there's a lot offemale dominatrix out there that
are punishing the guys thatwant to be punished, you know.
And so here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I think people think that BDSM is 50 shades of gray.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
No, no, it is not.
You know the nice thing I guessyou know I will.
I will say this about 50 shadesof gray it was a fantastic tool
to open up conversations aboutBDSM.
That is what I will give.
(28:48):
It Is that, you know, it madepeople interested and you know a
little bit more vocal aboutlike, oh, like, maybe we should
try tying up, maybe we shouldtry some of this stuff.
But ultimately, 50 shades ofgray is, it's not healthy, it
does not depict a healthyrelationship.
You know the the whole.
(29:09):
You know talking aboutboundaries.
There was never a conversation.
You know he gave her a contractand said here, this is what
this is what you get to do.
Like, that's not a conversation.
You know, and it really createdthis on real.
She signed it and she signed it.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
But that's so, that's consensual.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I mean, it's a story, but here's the deal.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
This does happen.
This does type of you know, andso that's the thing is.
You're right.
We do need to make sure, though, that we're not entering into
contracts that are truly not inour best interest, right.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
And Fifty Shades of Grey also, you know, focused on
this whole trauma filled pastthat he had, which you know.
Bdsm does not necessarily needto be anything that has to do
with trauma, it, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (29:59):
it it's not that it's really not, I think, because
people think that you arewhipping each other with whips
and chains and there's whatever.
That's kind of how I thinkpeople see it and all like not
at all, and it can be.
(30:20):
It can be whatever you want itto be Exactly.
So, yeah, um, yeah, that's.
I think a lot of people thinkthat that's what it is and it's
so, not so, it's not.
And you can go from vanilla toas crazy as he did and and like
I've seen, there's rooms in LA,um, where she um has it all set
(30:42):
up for you to do teach you BDSM.
I do, they're called it's aBDSM Airbnb.
Yeah, it's, it's so cool andit's not.
When I come to visit you, we'revisiting.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
San Francisco.
Pardon me, when I come to seeyou, we're visiting San
Francisco.
Oh yeah, we'll go up there.
You're going to be my, you'regoing to be my tour guide, and
y'all can join us.
We'll do some lives.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Oh, there we go we can do it, I love it, we can do
it on the Golden Gate Bridgebecause we'll have we'll have
Mophie Wi-Fi capability anywherewe go.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
So yeah, yeah so that one watch for that.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
You guys, when we go, when we go explore some stuff,
right, that'll be fun, yeah, andthen we're going to do it here
in Joshua tree.
So we're going to be at Joshuatree here.
We'll go to Palm Springs.
We're going to go do it by theMarilyn Monroe because she's
going to be gone.
So when you're here we'll,we'll go out and visit and
explore and then we'll just popin and do a live Boom, very nice
(31:45):
we don't have, we don't have todo anything like too, too
formal, you know, just reallycasual talk.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
No, but let's get back to BDSM.
So y'all know there's a littleteaser for later.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Okay, go, go, okay.
So what's the next?
Speaker 2 (32:18):
So it's not 50 Shades of Grey.
So, in your know, like well,that's like a control thing, and
like they're trying to controlyou, and that's not at all what
it is you are.
You are giving up controlvoluntarily, voluntarily,
voluntarily.
You are not doing this becauseyou are being forced to do it,
(32:42):
right?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
that is.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
That is the difference.
You know, there's there, it'snot a trauma so you know there's
, you know that's.
I think that's definitely ahuge misconception about it.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Um, probably and if a female gives up control, that
doesn't mean that you're givingup every control.
It's a sexual thing.
It's because I like to bedominated so I like to be, so I
like that kind of domination.
But there's a place and a timeand that's the fine line in a
(33:14):
relationship that you have tocommunicate that part to,
because otherwise I have seen itget out of control, because I
do hang out with people who arevery into the sexual world and
do things and I can see howsometimes their relationship,
that dominance, can roll overand then they just put each
(33:34):
other in check.
I've seen that, you know,because when you're really in
sync with each other and reallythat connected, it is truly like
that.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
So yes, yes, yes, I agree, and you know, I see your
point too.
You know, when you mentionedthat.
You know.
Actually, interestingly enough,people that are in like very
high powered roles have a lot ofresponsibilities.
They tend to like beingdominated in the bedroom because
(34:03):
it's somewhere and it it's,it's basically, you know.
It kind of comes down to thatpsychological thing because they
don't have to be in control,they can give it all of that up.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
That was me, I was done.
I was done.
Yeah, exactly so.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I mean, it doesn't necessarily I mean so.
I mean next time you're sittingin a meeting and you're, you
know a little bit, you know,intimidated by boss man or
whatever, just you know, picturehim tied up, scruffling
whatever.
I mean, he might be that person.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
You never know, you never know.
Oh, you know.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
it's funny because I mean we are picturing people in
their underwear here I alwayspicture people having sex or I
always picture them doing.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
You know, I just have , I have.
I'm like I wonder if they likeall that kind of you know crazy
stuff like I like and um, butyou can tell, you know, I can
kind of tell when you're talkingto people and things they do,
you're like, oh, they like that,you know.
So yeah, okay, so dominance.
And then so one thing about thedominance it can swap, because
(35:15):
I know a lot of men that like tobe dominated.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yeah, but then they also like to, and that's a
switch.
Yeah, they love the switch.
That's a person that's known asa switch.
If you go both ways, so tospeak, then you can, and you can
absolutely go both ways.
You can be the person thatlikes to be dominated, but then
you can also be the person thatlikes to dominate.
They both have their place,that's awesome.
Yes, everything is fluid.
(35:41):
You know, that's the nice thingabout BDSM.
I mean, everything is fluid,everything is, you know, there's
.
You get to make your own rules.
Yeah, you get to decide what itis you like, what it is you
don't like, you know, and youget to try new things.
I mean, that's the other thingabout BDSM Like you get to try
(36:02):
whatever you and your partnerwant to try In a safe space, In
a safe space With that trust.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
That's the role in that space is to be safe.
And I think let's just talkabout that, Because you know
what I was thinking when youwere saying this.
I'm like, I think a lot ofpeople think that when we start
exploring, or people who explore, that it's an unsafe space when
they explore.
(36:30):
And I'm going to tell you rightnow that is not true.
So when you want to dothreesomes, you want to do
swinging, you want to do goingto, you know, sex parties, all
of that stuff, they have rulesand they have they are very
strict.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Oh, yes, and they tell you what.
They are very, very enforced.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
So here's the thing.
That's why I explored so much,because it was such a safe space
it is, and I always was witheither a girlfriend or
girlfriends or my partner, but Inever felt like I was going.
I've never been raped Right,I've never had any unconsensual
(37:15):
anything happen to me, nobodytouches you, you don't have to
worry about being touchedinappropriately.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Nobody accidentally grabs your ass.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
One time.
Somebody touched me One timeBecause I was somewhere.
He touched my leg and I saiddon't touch me.
And he actually just my wordslike that.
He got kicked out of that roomand he was made he, he was
(37:45):
scolded by the bodyguard andthat's that.
So that's why I'm saying it'slike these are really safe
spaces to explore.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
You want to go check out a sex club or you want to
check out somebody?
Yes, they are very, very safeand a great place to get started
with the you know, with thelifestyle.
To be honest, if you're, ifyou're curious, it is yeah, very
you know yes, even hotels.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
I don't know about where you live, but because I
live in the crazy world ofCalifornia, we have now in Palm
Springs we have swinging hotels,okay.
So the hotel is swinging, it iscouples and single women only.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So is that like a resort?
I mean because I know likethere's, you know there's
swingers resorts and such yeahit's a resort, so it's all
inclusive.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
And then they have rules Like if your door's, yeah,
it's a resort, so it's allinclusive.
And then they have rules Likeif your door's open, it's this.
If your door's closed, if youwant them to come in, there's
all these rules that they have.
So there's places everywhere.
Vegas has them everything.
So if you want to explore anddo things, you can.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
And it will be safe.
And here's the thing too hereand do things you can, and it
will be safe.
And here's the thing too.
Here's a fun little fact.
Generally speaking, ladies,you're in charge.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yeah, right, you get to make all the decisions.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
The ladies run this show.
Yes, ladies run this.
This is not a men make therules kind of thing.
This is a ladies make the ruleskind of thing.
This is a ladies make the ruleskind of thing.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
That is right, Yep, exactly yeah yeah, very much,
very much.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
the ladies make the rules.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Right, exactly, and just so.
I mean, I have 30-year-oldscalling me and saying you know,
I'm thinking I'd like to do alittle tie up and I'm like
you're just doing it now.
Oh, my, my love, let's get yougoing.
Get going on it sooner thanlater.
(39:42):
Enjoy, try it, test it out.
I mean playing in the bedroom.
That's the whole.
Goal is to play with yourfriend who's now your partner in
life.
And you know, if you don't play, it deepens your bond.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Yeah, it deepens the trust that you have with each
other.
It deepens the bond that youhave.
I mean, you know, to know thatyou can trust them in this and
be like super vulnerable inthese very intimate positions
and in scenes like it.
Just it really does strengthenyour relationship?
Speaker 1 (40:20):
yes, and it doesn't, and doesn't put a lot of trust
and the outcome doesn't have tohave an orgasm.
The outcome doesn't need to bean orgasm.
The outcome doesn't need to bean orgasm.
In fact, BDSM is actuallybetter with that anticipation,
the buildup of oh I'm going to,you can't do this, or you can't
(40:42):
do that, or I'm going to tie youup tonight or whatever it is
and it play with you and youdon't get anything the rest of
the night and then you have towait till the next day.
I mean, that's part of it and itis fun when you do build up.
Instead of men who think thatthey need to release daily perks
(41:02):
, you need to do a build up and,boy, that release will be way
different than anything else.
Okay, One other thing I wantedto say um, because you brought
up the BDSM, um, uh test thatpeople could take so they could
find out Okay cool, so I'm goingto post it though on the, on
(41:25):
the link in my bio, and I'm alsogoing to suggest Msaya
J-A-I-Y-A I am saying it right,I'm just spelling it so you can
go.
She has an erotic blueprint thatshe developed and it was 20
years making and you can go findthat out as well, and that
(41:45):
helps you as well in thatconnection, to find out your
eroticism, what kind of kink youlike and all of that, and then
you do it with your partner.
Then you can really getunderstand your BDSM kink, your
erotic kink, and kind of putthose puzzle pieces together to
help each other out, becausethat's the goal is to work out
(42:09):
each other's fantasies and havesome fun.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Absolutely, absolutely.
You're supposed to have fun.
You need to have fun.
That's the sex is having fun.
Yeah, it should never be, youknow, once it becomes not fun
and you're not with the rightpartner.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
I want to change my name to fun.
I'm just kidding.
Um, I always tell everyone I'mkidding.
I always tell everyone my nameis F?
U?
N.
My name is F-U-N.
Say what I?
Just because I love to have funand I do, I love to have fun.
Okay, so let's see Any lastminute stuff on this.
My love that you want to youwant to.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Oh, let's talk about aftercare.
Aftercare is very, veryimportant.
So the biggest thing about BDSMis you are pushing your
boundaries in many, many, manyways and aftercare is essential
to just.
You know it's cuddling, it's,you know, talking, you know it's
talking to each other, it'sjust having that, it's, it's the
snuggling after sex y'all.
It has to happen, it has to, ithas to happen and the check-in,
the check-in about what happens.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
It's how you're feeling.
You want to talk about it.
You want to talk about what wasdone.
You want to, you want to havethat conversation, you know, to
make it better for next time,but also to just, you know, make
sure, you know you're deepeningthat bond.
You know you just did somethingthat was outside of your, you
know, outside of your norm, youknow that you were pushing, you
(43:45):
know that you were pushing.
The fears were, you know you'repushing all the limits that you
have and so, having that person, you know afterwards, okay, now
let's take it down, let's talkabout it, let me, let me kiss
you a little bit extra, let mesnuggle with you, hug you,
whatever you need, just to makesure that you are being taken
(44:06):
care of emotionally, physically,just you know all of it.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
It's important, and here's the thing.
Just, you know all of it.
It's important, and here's thething, and and the reason why
and you can attest to this tooI'm assuming, because we both
have been out there and havedone it that that check-in is to
what did I like, what didn't Ilike and what do we need to do
better next time, becausenothing's going to be a hundred
(44:31):
percent and each time is goingto be different and it's going
to get better and better.
Um, and I don't suggest doingeverything all at once and tie
up and let's do anal at the sametime and let's do this.
Let's not be over.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
You know, what you don't do, what you're
comfortable with.
You know, yeah, you don't haveto start everything at one time,
but you don't do what you'recomfortable with.
You know, yeah, you don't haveto start everything at one time,
but you don't do what you'recomfortable with.
You know add in.
You know add in something.
You know different each time.
You know put a little twist onit.
But, like you said, you knowyou're going to talk about it
and you're going to make itbetter.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, and that is part of that aftercare is.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
You know you're talking, didn't feel good.
What do you ever, ever, everwant to do again?
I mean, you have that safe word, so you know, if you get to
that point of something that youdon't like, you definitely
should be using the safe word,because that could that ends.
I'll play immediately, just soyou know.
The safe word is like the autoeject out of a plane, like you
(45:25):
hit it.
You're gone like it's done, sojust you know.
So just keep that in mind.
But it's talking, you know.
But aftercare just includesthat.
You know, it's talking.
It's just that.
Extra, extra love.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
You out with that whole little security blanket.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
To bring you back into you, know, to bring you
back to you.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
So yeah, yeah, no, it's so true.
You so yeah, yeah, no, it's sotrue.
And um, you know, I just wantto say for those that think, oh
my gosh, I don't have the moneyto do this kind of stuff, that's
not.
Let me be really clear.
You can use bed sheets.
You can use your dish towelsget some towels, rip it up, cut
(46:11):
them up.
Or dish towels get some towels,rip it up, cut them up.
I don't care.
There are so many things thatyou can do and people go, oh
well, I don't have bedposts, Ineed bedposts.
Okay, listen, you can tie up,put the bed underneath, run it
through, run two through, tie itthrough.
You don't need bedposts.
Get creative, Get online itthrough.
(46:35):
You don't need bedposts.
Get creative, Get online, Lookat ways to do tie up.
But you don't need you can usethings in your household.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
You can.
Yes, people get very.
You can get very, very creative.
And you're absolutely right,you really don't need a lot to
get started.
It's not hard to create ablindfold.
You can create a blindfold withany piece of fabric, yes, and
you can create tie ups with anypiece of fabric, exactly so,
boom, you got an automatic BDSMlittle scene right there with
(47:01):
just random pieces of fabricthat you have laying around,
whether it be a shirt or a tieor Exactly.
Yes or a scarf.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
You know, women have scarves.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
You know what there are are?
Yes, we have so many differentwe have, we can do this for a
while we can look around and belike and I could use that, and I
could use that and maybe that.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
So I've used um my cell phone chargers my long ones
yeah, hey, hey, it worked, itit works.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
It works.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Another thing if they're going to have someone
tied up, this is really fun.
Okay, if you're going to tiethem up, do get some fun things
to tickle them, like a featheror you know, and I like to get a
whip and a little smackitysmack, I mean, I feel like the
whole point of being tied up.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
I mean you get to do stuff to your partner that you,
that they don't, that they can'tstop you from unless they say
it before.
So I mean you know, sky's thelimit.
You know, pull out the feathers, pull out the whips, pull out
the whipped cream, just don'tput it, you know, down there,
because you know, sugars andvaginal juices or whatever are
not good.
That causes infections y'all.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
No bueno.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
I mean, you know those feathers and candle, you
know wax, hot wax.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Yep hot wax, Get paint you can paint.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Yes, there's so many, you can do a whole paint.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
So here's a good one.
They could go watch Sex, loveand Goop that's a great Netflix
series to get some more ideas.
That whole series I just reallyloved and I've been watching it
.
I know we've been talking aboutit and I just feel like the
more that people do thingstogether, watch Netflix movies
(48:47):
like that, watch videos like us,get out there and explore a
little bit themselves, theirrelationship will deepen.
And I'm really seeing thatpeople are not having very deep
relations because they're nothaving sex and they're just
dealing with the day-to-daylives.
And it's time to spruce it upand get, get things moving and,
(49:11):
you know, so we can have betterrelations with our partner
forever, not for just a time orwhatever Right.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
So well, and I would say you know, and you know my
specialty.
You know I'm all about lovingyourself, so my goal is to help
women love themselves properly.
So, ladies, if you'restruggling with loving yourself,
I'm here for you.
I would love to help you.
You know I'm here, and that'sright, cause we don't know how
to love ourselves.
We don't.
We're terrible about it.
(49:41):
No, we put everybody first, andthen we've been shamed forever
around our sexuality so we don'teven know and we're bombarded
with information and there's somuch wrong information out here.
So I love doing this with youso that we can talk about these
different terms and we can talkabout how you know what they
actually are and you know, givepeople good information.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
Yeah and honest and and yeah and about the coaching.
Here's the thing If you're notspending money on yourself
coaching, you know, getting somekind of coaching or self-help
either yearly, it doesn't haveto be a lot, it could be just
something You're doing it wrong,honestly.
I'm telling you, I've benefitedfrom all the coaching in my
(50:25):
years of life and you're right,a coach pushes you in different
ways that you can't pushyourself.
And I have a coach during thisprocess that I'm doing and I
have to.
I mean, and I've not just hadone coach, I've had a few
different ones, they've allprovided me different ones.
(50:47):
I just met another lady lastnight.
I'm going to hire her.
We're going to work together.
I know we all need help and ifyou're not spending money on
yourself with some kind ofcoaching, then you're doing
(51:07):
yourself a disservice, honestly,and your relationship and the
people around you, because youwill just better and do be doing
the things that you want to do.
And so I know that they can goto you're on my link in my bio.
They can go to there, they canbook an appointment, whatnot,
and ladies, all of this stuff.
(51:29):
Now we've got so many paymentoption type things clarna, a
firm all these things.
So when everyone's oh my god, Idon't have money, yeah, you do,
you do.
You just have to put that aside.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
yes, and you know, and I will say you know that you
know, when it comes to coaching, you know the idea, the, the
goal behind coaching is to makeyou better and, with you know,
loving your o, like that's whatI like to call it I'm, I'm the
love your o.
So you know it's basically,you're become better in all
(52:02):
areas of your life, it's notjust one.
You don't just, you know, thisisn't designed so that you just
become great in the bedroom like, yay, I, yay, I want you to
know yourself Absolutely, but itspreads, yeah, it spreads
everywhere, when you becomeempowered sexually, oh my God.
Like it's, it's basically itshows, it unleashes this whole
(52:24):
different level for you.
Yeah 100%.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
And I want to say this I really I have people say
when I lose weight, I'll getcoaching, when I have done X,
I'll get coaching.
Here's the thing.
Okay, you don't need to loseweight to find yourself sexually
(52:51):
.
You will find yourself sexually, and I will trust you that you
will lose weight because of theswag that you will have after
finding yourself sexually.
Speaker 2 (53:06):
Yes, and I mean and you know, and to your point, I
mean you know, you, everyoneshould learn how to love
themselves where they are.
You know, like you said, youknow you don't have to wait, you
know, to lose weight to havesex At the same time, you don't
have to lose weight to loveyourself.
No, this should not be like youneed to be thinking, you know.
(53:29):
Basically, people need to think, be thankful for their bodies
every day.
Yeah, Because your body allowsyou to do everything that you
need to do.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean you know, it's inyour body like it's doing a lot
for you.
Speaker 2 (53:44):
regardless of what it looks like and how much you
criticize it, it is doing whatit is supposed to be doing for
you.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
And what you're doing for it.
So if you're eating shitty,it's going to look shitty.
If you're not exercising, it'snot going to look like you're
exercising.
So and I only know this becauseI only started my exercise and
eating routine only a year agoand because I was, like probably
everyone else, that I thought,oh, I'm just, you know, this is
(54:11):
just the way it is.
But I informed myself and it'snot so, and since then I have
lost weight and I do feel better, and I know that everyone else
can do the same.
It's just it does, it's not,doesn't happen overnight, I
think, people, it'll go likethis and it doesn't Remember.
(54:32):
If it took you 30 years to makeyour body look like crap, it's
going to take you a few years toget back out of that and you
don't want to be doing it in oneyear because you want to be
doing it healthily.
So, just, and the reason why Iuse that model I used to tell my
doctors they would get me inthere as a consultant and go, oh
, can you fix this?
(54:53):
I mean, can you fix my office?
It's a mess, it's a shit show.
Yes, it's a big shit show.
So how long has it been likethis, oh, the last.
You know it got really worselast two years, but 10 years, oh
, okay.
Well, can you get this done inlike what?
90 days?
No, this is going to be atwo-year process.
I'm sorry.
I mean we're going to have towork out the kinks and it'll all
(55:15):
get flowing, but yeah, it'sgoing to be a process, sorry.
So we are such immediate, wehave to have immediate
satisfaction.
It just doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
Yes, remember, we're a very good now society.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
So we could go on and on.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
Yes, so I love talking to you, though, and I
love it, but I'm like it's 55minutes and I'm wondering like
people are like get off, get off.
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Wait, did y'all get off?
Speaker 1 (55:48):
Sorry, that's a good one, thank you.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
So let me just do a little plug.
I have a podcast.
This will go up in our live, inour streams, so you can go and
rewatch this as many times asyou want and laugh with us.
Shiloh and I are back hereevery Tuesday at 10 am Pacific
Standard Time.
Shiloh and I are back hereevery Tuesday at 10 am Pacific
Standard Time.
(56:16):
We're working on our trivia,our sex trivia, and that should
come out sometime in April.
We're looking forward to that.
And then this Thursday, pleasejoin me for not a live podcast,
it's a prerecorded podcast andit's a Fitbit for the penis.
That's right.
(56:36):
It's a cock changer, not a gamechanger.
A cock changer Wow, that'sexciting.
Yeah, yeah, it's exciting.
Oh, I, I'm so excited aboutthis product because it's
measuring men's sexual healthwith their cardiac health, and
you and I both know that sexlessbecause we did our dead bedroom
(56:59):
series.
We know that there's a lot ofdead bedrooms and some of it has
to do with health issues.
So this is really cool that wecan get down to the bottom of
this.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Absolutely, that's going to be very exciting.
I look forward to hearing it.
Speaker 1 (57:12):
Yeah, and I, I, and this is great, because next week
we're going to do c.
I don't know what we're doing.
Do we know we're?
Speaker 2 (57:18):
doing.
Oh, actually we are doing umthe most fabulous c word,
clitoris, the clitoris switch ohthat's fun fact, do you know
that 2005,.
2005 is when they actuallybecame like they actually had
like a full-size scale made ofthe clitoris Get out.
(57:40):
I know I saw that.
I was like wow, Just in 2005.
Yeah, that was on the Goopseries.
I actually watched when I waswatching the Goop series.
Speaker 1 (57:47):
I saw that when she pulled the whole series.
Speaker 2 (57:55):
I saw that she was like, it was like 2005.
And I mean, I know that it'sbeen 30 years since they, you
know, discovered like theclitoral, like just that.
The clitoris is more than justthe little teeny, tiny knob in
the front.
You see, it's all internal,y'all.
Speaker 1 (58:05):
It's all internal and it's yeah it's a big web when I
saw it.
Yeah, we're going to talk aboutit next week.
We're going to have a wholeconversation about it.
It's a big web.
When I saw it.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
Yeah, we're going to talk about it next week.
We're going to have a wholeconversation about it.
It's going to be fun.
Speaker 1 (58:14):
I love it.
I love it, I love it, okay, andso I did post.
I will post the links in myReddit.
I'll post the links on my links.
All the stuff that you'vetalked about, all the stuff I've
talked about.
It's it All right?
Thanks for joining me, shiloh.
Speaker 2 (58:32):
Have a great one, bye .
Speaker 1 (58:35):
Bye.
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