Ever feel like the lifestyle has its own language? Well… you’re not wrong.
In this bonus T&A Alphabet Series episode, we’re breaking down some of the most common and less common terms used in swinging and the lifestyle, including:
- What “the lifestyle” actually means—and the different names people use (like libertine)
- Common roles and dynamics (hotwife, stag/vixen, unicorn, bull, OPP)
- Types of play and what they involve (soft swap, hard swap, same room play)
- Events, parties, and how people connect
- Consent, communication, and safety language (hard & soft limits, full consent culture, aftercare)
- Sexual and other terms (voyeur, DP, bukkake, “take one for the team”)
All of this is designed to help you feel more confident and informed as you explore—whether you’re brand new or already have some experience.
And as we’ve said throughout this series, it’s always important to ask people what their definitions are—because these terms can mean different things to different people.
Show Resources:
- Contribute to our T&A Sex Clubs, Lifestyle Destinations & Communities Around the World List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1t8DzYsOJSQ0g1cboAuBl_ibFYQGwpHoiEO-JdriKUjA/edit?usp=sharing
- Looking for therapy? Arrange a complimentary therapy consultation with André at https://book.a-psych-online.com/therapyconsultation
- Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue
- Poly Newbies Digital Course Listener Offer - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer
- The Little Book of Poly Love 💖 Join the waitlist to be the first to know when it’s published and pops into the world: https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist
- Episode 69: Consent is Sexy: Why Enthusiastic Consent is so Important - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2RzCDuhK9yMM3GgkU5ebPg?si=ObHEGONiTCyFgCF6Q-oo7g
- Episode 64: K is for KINK, Kitchen Table Polyamory & Kissing - https://open.spotify.com/episode/7FOrTjvfhxOB2Il9BLoNwc?si=GdwcjFa1Sn-qWcg2Ikspgw
- Unicorns & Unicorn Hunting: Can it be Ethical? https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TI3NNE3H5JxlwzopWqM1Z?si=hRQsZ47bQASGDRf3KDCnFg
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Hey Jonas!
Hey Jonas! The official Jonas Brothers podcast. Hosted by Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas. It’s the Jonas Brothers you know... musicians, actors, and well, yes, brothers. Now, they’re sharing another side of themselves in the playful, intimate, and irreverent way only they can. Spend time with the Jonas Brothers here and stay a little bit longer for deep conversations like never before.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.