December 17, 2024 • 22 mins
Feeling overwhelmed as the holidays approach? You’re not alone. In this week’s episode of Live Your Extraordinary Life, we’re getting real about the stress, disappointment, and chaos that often creep in during what’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” Whether you’re juggling endless to-do lists, grieving a loved one, or quietly disappointed with how 2024 played out, this episode is for you.
Join me as we unpack why overwhelm happens, how societal expectations add fuel to the fire, and—most importantly—what you can do to reclaim your joy and peace. With a mix of heartfelt honesty, practical tools, and humor (because let’s face it, laughter is a survival skill), I’ll help you navigate this season with grace, boundaries, and a reminder that you are enough—just as you are.
So, take a deep breath, grab a cup of cocoa (or wine, no judgment), and let’s focus on what really matters this holiday season. You’ve got this.
✨ Highlights from this episode:
- Why the holidays feel overwhelming (and how to reframe it).
- Permission to drop the ball and skip the perfection.
- Simple, calming tools like box breathing and gratitude practices.
- A heartfelt moment to honor yourself, your journey, and the beauty of contrasts in life.
Listen now and give yourself the gift of peace this holiday season. 🎄✨
WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Live your ExtraordinaryLife podcast.
I'm your host, michelle Rios,and today we're talking about
managing overwhelm during theholidays.
This is a little deviation fromour typical lineup of
interviews and what we've beentalking about lately, which is
(00:24):
really about growing financiallyand wealth creation and leaning
into that next chapter of ourlives.
Instead, I want to justrecognize and address the
elephant in the room.
It's a week before Christmasand some of you, you're barely
(00:44):
holding it together, I knowbecause I feel you Between work
deadlines, gift shopping, moneywoes, holiday parties, add in
family illnesses, collegeapplication processes, all the
things.
And God help you.
(01:04):
If you are a parent of a youngchild and you are trying to
figure out where on earth todayto put the darn elf on the shelf
, or you are tracking down oneof those toys your kid must have
and Santa apparently has supplychain issues, I know you're
probably standing there askingyourself who on earth signed me
(01:26):
up for this chaos, seriously.
So let me just say this Ifyou're feeling stressed,
overwhelmed, exhausted or evenon the verge of your own
personal holiday meltdown, you,my friend, are not alone.
You are not alone.
(01:47):
A lot of people are feeling thesame way, and here's where we're
going to get real.
Some of you are not doing verywell right now not physically,
not emotionally and notspiritually.
I know because I hear from somany of you week to week.
I know some of you are worriedabout money.
You're running businesses thataren't yet profitable.
(02:08):
You're in jobs that don't quiteallow you to manage all the
bills successfully on your own.
Some of you are really tryingto figure out how to get
creative and give your familiesgood Christmases.
I know some of you are dealingwith grief.
You've lost loved ones, you'remissing someone who isn't here
(02:29):
this year and you're feelingthat ache a little deeper during
the holiday season.
And I know some of you aredealing with health issues
unknowns whether they're yourhealth issues or your loved ones
.
It's costing you sleep.
And I know there are those ofyou who are just plain
(02:50):
disappointed, disappointedbecause 2024 didn't go as
planned.
You know you didn't start thebusiness or, if you did, you
didn't launch the course orwrite the book or get the
promotion or find the new job orlose the weight or find the
love of your life or, whateverit is, restore your marriage.
You didn't come through thisyear, becoming the new you you
(03:13):
had intended to be.
That's okay.
Here's where I remind you.
The podcast here is abouttelling the truth.
That's what we're talking aboutin this podcast authenticity.
So let me say this it's okay tofeel like life isn't going the
way you want.
(03:33):
You're human, you're real.
So right here, right now, Iwant you to sit back, take a
deep breath and let it all gofor a moment.
I want you to know I see you.
I see you, and what I want youto do is I want you to let go of
(03:57):
the guilt, the heartbreak, thefrustration and the overwhelm
just for a little while.
Let's spend the next 20 minuteslaughing, maybe crying.
If you've got to get it out,let it out and reminding
ourselves of what really mattersthis holiday season, because
(04:21):
the holidays aren't about thesprint to the finish line, they
aren't about perfection.
They're about connection withyourself, your loved ones and
with God, the universe or yourhigher power.
So let's start by understandingwhat overwhelm even feels like.
(04:42):
If you're going through it, youalready know, but just in case,
overwhelm is like being the CEOof a struggling startup called
your Life Inc.
You're managing 19 departments,none of them are profitable and
HR is about to quit and yourboss, aka you, is a real pain in
(05:03):
the ass because your boss hasyou working late on multiple
fronts.
You're tired, you're hungry andyou just want to go to bed.
It's that feeling of juggling athousand things while you're
still wondering if you're enough.
Overwhelm is like it's tryingto show up as a perfect parent,
(05:23):
partner, employee and friend,while somehow making it all look
effortless.
But let's be real.
This is not a Hallmark movie.
This is real life and in reallife, the cookies burn, people
lose jobs, dogs eat thegingerbread house, someone in
your house is crying, and it'sprobably you.
(05:48):
So why do we get overwhelmedexactly?
It comes from a mismatchbetween our expectations and
reality.
We expect ourselves to beWonder Woman, but let's face it
even Wonder Woman didn't have todeal with all of this.
She didn't have to hostpotlucks on top of grief and on
top of all these deadlines, andwrap 27 presents and go out and
(06:12):
find all the presents and cleanup the house and do the dishes
and the laundry and figure outhow she's going to show up the
next day and be presentable atwork.
This season comes with a heap ofsocial pressure to boot.
We're bombarded with Instagram,perfect images that make us
feel like our lives don'tmeasure up.
(06:32):
But let me let you in on alittle secret.
Nobody's life looks like theirsocial media feed, not even the
people posting it, and it alltakes an emotional toil and it
all takes an emotional toll.
Here's the part no one talksabout.
(06:53):
Overwhelm doesn't just make youtired, it makes you resentful
Resentful of your to-do list,the season and sometimes even
the people you love the most.
Overwhelm robs you of joy.
You're so busy doing all thethings that you forget to feel
the things that matter.
So let's stop right now andshift the mindset away from
(07:19):
overwhelm.
Okay, number one if we drop theball, we're gonna own it.
Here's your holiday permissionslip.
You don't have to do it all.
Burn the cookies, go pick someup at the grocery store.
Forget to send a holiday cardthis year?
Oh well, blame it on the postoffice.
(07:41):
Seriously, nobody is handingout awards for the most
exhausted human at Christmas,and if they are, guess what?
You don't want to win that one.
Number two boundaries.
Boundaries are a gift.
Every time you say yes tosomething, you're actually
saying no to something else, andusually it's your peace of mind
(08:03):
.
So I want you to say no thisweek.
Say it with love, but say itwith confidence, and then pour
yourself a drink eggnog, tea,wine, hot cocoa, your call.
And if someone's upset becauseyou're not hosting Christmas
dinner or there's not going tobe X, Y and Z under the tree, oh
(08:26):
well, protect your peace.
Oh well, protect your peace.
Number three we're going tolaugh and then let things go.
When things go wrong and theywill, trust me, find the humor
in it Burn the turkey, huh.
Order some pizza, forget thebatteries.
Well, congratulations, you justtaught your kids about patience
(08:49):
.
They could probably use alittle bit of adversity.
Humor is your holiday survivaltool.
Use it liberally.
So last year I have to tell youthis story Last year, christmas
Eve, my husband and I decidedwe were going to order Christmas
Eve dinner from this beautifulPeruvian restaurant that does
amazing food, and we were justgoing to take some of the stress
(09:13):
out of our lives because wewere super busy and we didn't
really want to cook that night.
So we ordered this beautifulmeal and we just had to pick it
up at five o'clock.
People were going to be thereat 5.30.
We'd be eating by six.
We had it all planned eating bysix.
(09:36):
We had it all planned.
So here's the problem when wewent to get the food at the
restaurant, the lights were out,the doors were locked, nobody
was answering the phone and wewere there at five o'clock on
the dot.
So apparently we found outlater they forgot about our
order or somebody lost it andthey let their employees go home
a half hour early.
So there was no food for ourdinner gathering.
(09:59):
And it wasn't just my immediatefamily.
We had my in-laws and myhusband's siblings with us as
well.
So here we have all these folksarriving at our house.
We have no food and the storesare on the verge of closing.
It's now like quarter of sixand they're closing at six.
We did not have time to run outand buy food.
(10:22):
So here we were Christmas Eve ahouse full of people and no food
.
We just looked at each othergoing oh my gosh, this is like
Mother Hubbard's bear cupboards.
We had like the equivalent ofwhat would have been served at
Charlie Brown's Thanksgivingfeast Popcorn, I think.
We had like Smart Pop or SkinnyPop, popcorn, white rice and
(10:46):
bread to make toast.
I mean, we had nothing.
It was embarrassing in thebeginning, but it was actually
hysterical.
It was just so ridiculous, likehow could this be what's
happening and unfolding in realtime and there was just nothing
we could do about it.
It was what it was.
So we got a good chuckle out ofit and we just poured more wine
(11:06):
.
It was fine.
I mean, definitely one of themore memorable Christmas Eves,
not because the food was so good, but because it was so bad.
We just got a big laugh out ofit.
It is what it is.
So I just want to encourage youto use laughter.
Recognize that things are notgoing to go perfectly, they're
(11:29):
not going to go smoothly.
Try to find the humor in it.
I know some things are notlaughable, right?
People get sick this time ofyear.
People are losing jobs thistime of year.
There's a lot of heavy stuffgoing on.
So I'm not necessarily sayinglaugh at that, but I am saying
(11:50):
try to relax into what'shappening and recognize that it
is just this moment.
It does not define your life,it does not mean the end of the
world.
It just means there's a hardmoment that you're going through
.
And now I want to give you somepractical tools for recentering
(12:11):
, because it's so important whenwe are going full tilt out
there, trying to do all thethings that I'm hoping you're
going to slow down around, toreally come back to center, to
come back to yourself, to notget so far outside of yourself
that you're not experiencinglife calmly and peacefully.
(12:35):
So when stress hits, we're goingto start number one with box
breathing.
It's something that's supersimple, you can do anywhere and
all it requires is that youinhale in for four counts, hold
for four, exhale for four andthen hold for four counts again.
(12:56):
That's why they call it boxbreathing.
So you literally inhale.
So you literally inhale fourcounts, hold at the top for four
.
One, two, three, four.
Exhale for four counts and thenhold at the end for four.
One, two, three, four.
I'm telling you, it's likehitting the reset button on your
(13:19):
nervous system.
Do that five to 10 timesnervous system.
Do that five to 10 times Boxsteps four counts in, four
counts, hold at the top, exhalefour counts out and then hold it
again at the end.
You're going to feel so muchbetter.
Number two we're going to dogratitude with a twist.
(13:39):
I want you, during these busydays, to take a few minutes.
Maybe it's when you're havingyour morning coffee, maybe it's
late at night when everyone'sgone to bed.
I want you to just write down.
You can use your phone.
You don't even have to get apen and paper if you don't have
it.
Use your phone.
Everyone has a phone.
Write down three things you'regrateful for today.
Not the same three that youalways put down at Thanksgiving,
(14:00):
like your spouse and your kidsand your house.
Those are great.
But I want you to talk aboutthree things you're grateful for
in that day Sometimes they'rejust about things that didn't go
wrong or the things that justwent right and write down three
things you're grateful for hey,they had what I needed at the
store.
Hey, nobody called to complaintoday.
(14:21):
Something simple.
I love it when there are nocall.
I mean, I love getting calls,but I really love it when there
are no calls, because no goodnews is good news.
And also, I want you to findone thing that you're going to
let go of.
So, three things you'regrateful for today and one thing
you're gonna let go of.
So I'm gonna tell you one thingI'm letting go of.
(14:43):
This year we didn't get aroundto doing a family Christmas card
.
This year We've been busy andI've been building a business.
My husband has his own businessand is working around the clock
as well, our son's applying forcollege.
It's been a very busy year.
We did not get a photo of thethree of us that we felt really
(15:06):
good about to put on a Christmascard, and so we just said you
know what?
We're not doing it this year.
We're just not doing it.
We're going to wish everyone aMerry Christmas.
We're going to call the folksthat aren't nearby and we're
going to let go of that need tohave a family Christmas card out
.
Just let it go.
So find one thing that you'regoing to let go of.
(15:30):
So for us, it was the need tobe perfect and we are going to
be guilt-free about skippingthat tradition of sending out a
holiday card.
Find what you're going to letgo of.
Elsa was on to something right.
That movie, frozen All right,number three.
Instead of a to-do list, I wantyou to write a done list.
Okay.
(15:51):
Instead of focusing on all thethings left to do and making
yourself crazy, I want you towork in reverse.
Make a list of what you'vealready accomplished, if it's
small got out of bed.
Check.
Made coffee.
Check.
Threw in a load of laundry.
Check.
Didn't spill my coffee.
Check, check.
(16:11):
Sometimes that's enough.
Just get some momentum underyour belt.
We drive ourselves crazy withthose never-ending to-do lists
and we keep adding more thingson them, so start with a done
list.
What have you already done?
You already found that gift forgrandma, great check.
You already figured out thatyour kids did all their college
(16:34):
applications?
Check, check, check.
That in our household right nowis gold, okay.
Next, I want us to take a fewmoments of reflection and
gratitude.
All right, so we're going tojust pause.
Hopefully you're not driving.
If you are, keep your eyes onthe road, but if you are not, I
(16:57):
want you to close your eyes andtake a deep breath.
Deep breath in, inhalegratitude and exhale stress.
We're going to inhale gratitudeand we're going to exhale
stress, and I want you to thankyourself for showing up, for
(17:18):
trying, for doing your best evenwhen it didn't feel like enough
, for doing your best even whenit didn't feel like enough.
Thank yourself for being human.
And then I want you to thankGod, the universe or whatever
higher power you believe in.
Thank them for this messy,complicated, beautiful life, for
(18:07):
the light and the dark, the joyand the pain, because the
contrast is what makes lifeextraordinary.
If you're in a tough seasonright now and I know many of you
are know that it's just that aseason.
Better days are ahead.
Joy is coming, relief is coming.
You're not stuck, you're inmotion.
You might be going slow, butthat's okay.
You're not a failure.
You're not over Unless you quit, which you are not doing.
You are still in the game, thisgame of life, which can throw
some real curveballs our way.
But our lives are extraordinary,even in the hard moments, and I
(18:27):
don't want you to forget that.
Remember that the dark meansthat the light is coming All
right.
The sadness means joy is aroundthe corner.
These opposites can't exist inabsolutes.
They need each other.
So if you're feeling pain, knowthat joy is coming.
(18:48):
If you're in dark, light isaround the corner.
That's what makes lifeextraordinary.
So, as we head into this finalstretch before Christmas, I want
you to remember this you areenough.
You are enough Not because ofwhat you've accomplished, but
(19:11):
because of who you are, Becauseyou're here.
The chances of you being hereare one in many billion, and yet
are here and we are betterbecause you are here.
The holidays aren't about doingall the things.
Please remember that.
(19:32):
They're about being with thepeople and in the moments that
matter.
So laugh when it gets messy,cry if you need to, but let
yourself feel it all.
That is what being human is allabout.
That is what having anextraordinary life is all about.
It is not about perfect sunsetsand rainbows and unicorns.
(19:55):
It is highs and lows, peaks andvalleys, pain and joy okay,
love and loss.
That is what having a full andextraordinary life is all about.
All right, I want to thank youfor taking the time out of your
(20:16):
schedule to spend it with me.
I know there's a lot going on,but I'd be remiss in not telling
you and not reminding you thatyou are extraordinary and I am
so grateful that you are hereand on this journey with me.
I'll see you next week for avery special Christmas Eve
(20:38):
episode.
Until then, take care ofyourself, maybe even hide a few
Christmas cookies for yourself.
You deserve it.
It's okay, all right.
Until next time, go and liveyour extraordinary life.
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of the Live your ExtraordinaryLife podcast.
I'm your host, michelle Rios,and today we're talking about
managing overwhelm during theholidays.
This is a little deviation fromour typical lineup of
interviews and what we've beentalking about lately, which is
(00:24):
really about growing financiallyand wealth creation and leaning
into that next chapter of ourlives.
Instead, I want to justrecognize and address the
elephant in the room.
It's a week before Christmasand some of you, you're barely
(00:44):
holding it together, I knowbecause I feel you Between work
deadlines, gift shopping, moneywoes, holiday parties, add in
family illnesses, collegeapplication processes, all the
things.
And God help you.
(01:04):
If you are a parent of a youngchild and you are trying to
figure out where on earth todayto put the darn elf on the shelf
, or you are tracking down oneof those toys your kid must have
and Santa apparently has supplychain issues, I know you're
probably standing there askingyourself who on earth signed me
(01:26):
up for this chaos, seriously.
So let me just say this Ifyou're feeling stressed,
overwhelmed, exhausted or evenon the verge of your own
personal holiday meltdown, you,my friend, are not alone.
You are not alone.
(01:47):
A lot of people are feeling thesame way, and here's where we're
going to get real.
Some of you are not doing verywell right now not physically,
not emotionally and notspiritually.
I know because I hear from somany of you week to week.
I know some of you are worriedabout money.
You're running businesses thataren't yet profitable.
(02:08):
You're in jobs that don't quiteallow you to manage all the
bills successfully on your own.
Some of you are really tryingto figure out how to get
creative and give your familiesgood Christmases.
I know some of you are dealingwith grief.
You've lost loved ones, you'remissing someone who isn't here
(02:29):
this year and you're feelingthat ache a little deeper during
the holiday season.
And I know some of you aredealing with health issues
unknowns whether they're yourhealth issues or your loved ones
.
It's costing you sleep.
And I know there are those ofyou who are just plain
(02:50):
disappointed, disappointedbecause 2024 didn't go as
planned.
You know you didn't start thebusiness or, if you did, you
didn't launch the course orwrite the book or get the
promotion or find the new job orlose the weight or find the
love of your life or, whateverit is, restore your marriage.
You didn't come through thisyear, becoming the new you you
(03:13):
had intended to be.
That's okay.
Here's where I remind you.
The podcast here is abouttelling the truth.
That's what we're talking aboutin this podcast authenticity.
So let me say this it's okay tofeel like life isn't going the
way you want.
(03:33):
You're human, you're real.
So right here, right now, Iwant you to sit back, take a
deep breath and let it all gofor a moment.
I want you to know I see you.
I see you, and what I want youto do is I want you to let go of
(03:57):
the guilt, the heartbreak, thefrustration and the overwhelm
just for a little while.
Let's spend the next 20 minuteslaughing, maybe crying.
If you've got to get it out,let it out and reminding
ourselves of what really mattersthis holiday season, because
(04:21):
the holidays aren't about thesprint to the finish line, they
aren't about perfection.
They're about connection withyourself, your loved ones and
with God, the universe or yourhigher power.
So let's start by understandingwhat overwhelm even feels like.
(04:42):
If you're going through it, youalready know, but just in case,
overwhelm is like being the CEOof a struggling startup called
your Life Inc.
You're managing 19 departments,none of them are profitable and
HR is about to quit and yourboss, aka you, is a real pain in
(05:03):
the ass because your boss hasyou working late on multiple
fronts.
You're tired, you're hungry andyou just want to go to bed.
It's that feeling of juggling athousand things while you're
still wondering if you're enough.
Overwhelm is like it's tryingto show up as a perfect parent,
(05:23):
partner, employee and friend,while somehow making it all look
effortless.
But let's be real.
This is not a Hallmark movie.
This is real life and in reallife, the cookies burn, people
lose jobs, dogs eat thegingerbread house, someone in
your house is crying, and it'sprobably you.
(05:48):
So why do we get overwhelmedexactly?
It comes from a mismatchbetween our expectations and
reality.
We expect ourselves to beWonder Woman, but let's face it
even Wonder Woman didn't have todeal with all of this.
She didn't have to hostpotlucks on top of grief and on
top of all these deadlines, andwrap 27 presents and go out and
(06:12):
find all the presents and cleanup the house and do the dishes
and the laundry and figure outhow she's going to show up the
next day and be presentable atwork.
This season comes with a heap ofsocial pressure to boot.
We're bombarded with Instagram,perfect images that make us
feel like our lives don'tmeasure up.
(06:32):
But let me let you in on alittle secret.
Nobody's life looks like theirsocial media feed, not even the
people posting it, and it alltakes an emotional toil and it
all takes an emotional toll.
Here's the part no one talksabout.
(06:53):
Overwhelm doesn't just make youtired, it makes you resentful
Resentful of your to-do list,the season and sometimes even
the people you love the most.
Overwhelm robs you of joy.
You're so busy doing all thethings that you forget to feel
the things that matter.
So let's stop right now andshift the mindset away from
(07:19):
overwhelm.
Okay, number one if we drop theball, we're gonna own it.
Here's your holiday permissionslip.
You don't have to do it all.
Burn the cookies, go pick someup at the grocery store.
Forget to send a holiday cardthis year?
Oh well, blame it on the postoffice.
(07:41):
Seriously, nobody is handingout awards for the most
exhausted human at Christmas,and if they are, guess what?
You don't want to win that one.
Number two boundaries.
Boundaries are a gift.
Every time you say yes tosomething, you're actually
saying no to something else, andusually it's your peace of mind
(08:03):
.
So I want you to say no thisweek.
Say it with love, but say itwith confidence, and then pour
yourself a drink eggnog, tea,wine, hot cocoa, your call.
And if someone's upset becauseyou're not hosting Christmas
dinner or there's not going tobe X, Y and Z under the tree, oh
(08:26):
well, protect your peace.
Oh well, protect your peace.
Number three we're going tolaugh and then let things go.
When things go wrong and theywill, trust me, find the humor
in it Burn the turkey, huh.
Order some pizza, forget thebatteries.
Well, congratulations, you justtaught your kids about patience
(08:49):
.
They could probably use alittle bit of adversity.
Humor is your holiday survivaltool.
Use it liberally.
So last year I have to tell youthis story Last year, christmas
Eve, my husband and I decidedwe were going to order Christmas
Eve dinner from this beautifulPeruvian restaurant that does
amazing food, and we were justgoing to take some of the stress
(09:13):
out of our lives because wewere super busy and we didn't
really want to cook that night.
So we ordered this beautifulmeal and we just had to pick it
up at five o'clock.
People were going to be thereat 5.30.
We'd be eating by six.
We had it all planned eating bysix.
(09:36):
We had it all planned.
So here's the problem when wewent to get the food at the
restaurant, the lights were out,the doors were locked, nobody
was answering the phone and wewere there at five o'clock on
the dot.
So apparently we found outlater they forgot about our
order or somebody lost it andthey let their employees go home
a half hour early.
So there was no food for ourdinner gathering.
(09:59):
And it wasn't just my immediatefamily.
We had my in-laws and myhusband's siblings with us as
well.
So here we have all these folksarriving at our house.
We have no food and the storesare on the verge of closing.
It's now like quarter of sixand they're closing at six.
We did not have time to run outand buy food.
(10:22):
So here we were Christmas Eve ahouse full of people and no food
.
We just looked at each othergoing oh my gosh, this is like
Mother Hubbard's bear cupboards.
We had like the equivalent ofwhat would have been served at
Charlie Brown's Thanksgivingfeast Popcorn, I think.
We had like Smart Pop or SkinnyPop, popcorn, white rice and
(10:46):
bread to make toast.
I mean, we had nothing.
It was embarrassing in thebeginning, but it was actually
hysterical.
It was just so ridiculous, likehow could this be what's
happening and unfolding in realtime and there was just nothing
we could do about it.
It was what it was.
So we got a good chuckle out ofit and we just poured more wine
(11:06):
.
It was fine.
I mean, definitely one of themore memorable Christmas Eves,
not because the food was so good, but because it was so bad.
We just got a big laugh out ofit.
It is what it is.
So I just want to encourage youto use laughter.
Recognize that things are notgoing to go perfectly, they're
(11:29):
not going to go smoothly.
Try to find the humor in it.
I know some things are notlaughable, right?
People get sick this time ofyear.
People are losing jobs thistime of year.
There's a lot of heavy stuffgoing on.
So I'm not necessarily sayinglaugh at that, but I am saying
(11:50):
try to relax into what'shappening and recognize that it
is just this moment.
It does not define your life,it does not mean the end of the
world.
It just means there's a hardmoment that you're going through
.
And now I want to give you somepractical tools for recentering
(12:11):
, because it's so important whenwe are going full tilt out
there, trying to do all thethings that I'm hoping you're
going to slow down around, toreally come back to center, to
come back to yourself, to notget so far outside of yourself
that you're not experiencinglife calmly and peacefully.
(12:35):
So when stress hits, we're goingto start number one with box
breathing.
It's something that's supersimple, you can do anywhere and
all it requires is that youinhale in for four counts, hold
for four, exhale for four andthen hold for four counts again.
(12:56):
That's why they call it boxbreathing.
So you literally inhale.
So you literally inhale fourcounts, hold at the top for four
.
One, two, three, four.
Exhale for four counts and thenhold at the end for four.
One, two, three, four.
I'm telling you, it's likehitting the reset button on your
(13:19):
nervous system.
Do that five to 10 timesnervous system.
Do that five to 10 times Boxsteps four counts in, four
counts, hold at the top, exhalefour counts out and then hold it
again at the end.
You're going to feel so muchbetter.
Number two we're going to dogratitude with a twist.
(13:39):
I want you, during these busydays, to take a few minutes.
Maybe it's when you're havingyour morning coffee, maybe it's
late at night when everyone'sgone to bed.
I want you to just write down.
You can use your phone.
You don't even have to get apen and paper if you don't have
it.
Use your phone.
Everyone has a phone.
Write down three things you'regrateful for today.
Not the same three that youalways put down at Thanksgiving,
(14:00):
like your spouse and your kidsand your house.
Those are great.
But I want you to talk aboutthree things you're grateful for
in that day Sometimes they'rejust about things that didn't go
wrong or the things that justwent right and write down three
things you're grateful for hey,they had what I needed at the
store.
Hey, nobody called to complaintoday.
(14:21):
Something simple.
I love it when there are nocall.
I mean, I love getting calls,but I really love it when there
are no calls, because no goodnews is good news.
And also, I want you to findone thing that you're going to
let go of.
So, three things you'regrateful for today and one thing
you're gonna let go of.
So I'm gonna tell you one thingI'm letting go of.
(14:43):
This year we didn't get aroundto doing a family Christmas card
.
This year We've been busy andI've been building a business.
My husband has his own businessand is working around the clock
as well, our son's applying forcollege.
It's been a very busy year.
We did not get a photo of thethree of us that we felt really
(15:06):
good about to put on a Christmascard, and so we just said you
know what?
We're not doing it this year.
We're just not doing it.
We're going to wish everyone aMerry Christmas.
We're going to call the folksthat aren't nearby and we're
going to let go of that need tohave a family Christmas card out
.
Just let it go.
So find one thing that you'regoing to let go of.
(15:30):
So for us, it was the need tobe perfect and we are going to
be guilt-free about skippingthat tradition of sending out a
holiday card.
Find what you're going to letgo of.
Elsa was on to something right.
That movie, frozen All right,number three.
Instead of a to-do list, I wantyou to write a done list.
Okay.
(15:51):
Instead of focusing on all thethings left to do and making
yourself crazy, I want you towork in reverse.
Make a list of what you'vealready accomplished, if it's
small got out of bed.
Check.
Made coffee.
Check.
Threw in a load of laundry.
Check.
Didn't spill my coffee.
Check, check.
(16:11):
Sometimes that's enough.
Just get some momentum underyour belt.
We drive ourselves crazy withthose never-ending to-do lists
and we keep adding more thingson them, so start with a done
list.
What have you already done?
You already found that gift forgrandma, great check.
You already figured out thatyour kids did all their college
(16:34):
applications?
Check, check, check.
That in our household right nowis gold, okay.
Next, I want us to take a fewmoments of reflection and
gratitude.
All right, so we're going tojust pause.
Hopefully you're not driving.
If you are, keep your eyes onthe road, but if you are not, I
(16:57):
want you to close your eyes andtake a deep breath.
Deep breath in, inhalegratitude and exhale stress.
We're going to inhale gratitudeand we're going to exhale
stress, and I want you to thankyourself for showing up, for
(17:18):
trying, for doing your best evenwhen it didn't feel like enough
, for doing your best even whenit didn't feel like enough.
Thank yourself for being human.
And then I want you to thankGod, the universe or whatever
higher power you believe in.
Thank them for this messy,complicated, beautiful life, for
(18:07):
the light and the dark, the joyand the pain, because the
contrast is what makes lifeextraordinary.
If you're in a tough seasonright now and I know many of you
are know that it's just that aseason.
Better days are ahead.
Joy is coming, relief is coming.
You're not stuck, you're inmotion.
You might be going slow, butthat's okay.
You're not a failure.
You're not over Unless you quit, which you are not doing.
You are still in the game, thisgame of life, which can throw
some real curveballs our way.
But our lives are extraordinary,even in the hard moments, and I
(18:27):
don't want you to forget that.
Remember that the dark meansthat the light is coming All
right.
The sadness means joy is aroundthe corner.
These opposites can't exist inabsolutes.
They need each other.
So if you're feeling pain, knowthat joy is coming.
(18:48):
If you're in dark, light isaround the corner.
That's what makes lifeextraordinary.
So, as we head into this finalstretch before Christmas, I want
you to remember this you areenough.
You are enough Not because ofwhat you've accomplished, but
(19:11):
because of who you are, Becauseyou're here.
The chances of you being hereare one in many billion, and yet
are here and we are betterbecause you are here.
The holidays aren't about doingall the things.
Please remember that.
(19:32):
They're about being with thepeople and in the moments that
matter.
So laugh when it gets messy,cry if you need to, but let
yourself feel it all.
That is what being human is allabout.
That is what having anextraordinary life is all about.
It is not about perfect sunsetsand rainbows and unicorns.
(19:55):
It is highs and lows, peaks andvalleys, pain and joy okay,
love and loss.
That is what having a full andextraordinary life is all about.
All right, I want to thank youfor taking the time out of your
(20:16):
schedule to spend it with me.
I know there's a lot going on,but I'd be remiss in not telling
you and not reminding you thatyou are extraordinary and I am
so grateful that you are hereand on this journey with me.
I'll see you next week for avery special Christmas Eve
(20:38):
episode.
Until then, take care ofyourself, maybe even hide a few
Christmas cookies for yourself.
You deserve it.
It's okay, all right.
Until next time, go and liveyour extraordinary life.
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