April 22, 2025 • 44 mins
Ever wondered why the same patterns keep showing up in your life no matter what you try to change externally? The answer lies in understanding the powerful connection between your emotional energy and your reality.
We all emit a unique energetic frequency that attracts matching experiences back to us. Think of yourself as a radio antenna, both broadcasting and receiving emotional signals that shape your daily life. Your dominant emotional state—whether rooted in fear or love—becomes your "set point," creating a resonance that draws in more of the same energy.
My own journey from stressed-out corporate climber to someone who consciously manages my emotional state began at my grandmother's funeral. Despite facing unimaginable tragedies throughout her life—losing three children, battling cancer, and dealing with my grandfather's alcoholism—my grandmother consistently emanated love and warmth. The packed church at her funeral, filled with people whose lives she had touched, revealed a profound truth: what we put out into the world comes back to us multiplied.
In this episode, we explore practical ways to master your emotional state without suppressing your feelings or practicing toxic positivity. You'll learn how to process emotions healthily, set powerful intentions each morning, and use simple techniques like breathwork, movement, and gratitude journaling to maintain a higher frequency. I also share how small "two degree" shifts in your energy can create massive transformations in your experience of life.
When you understand that your reality is shaped by your internal state rather than external circumstances, you gain the power to truly live extraordinarily. By choosing to operate from love-based emotions like optimism, generosity, and kindness, you not only transform your own experience but elevate everyone around you.
Ready to take control of your energetic signature and create the life you truly desire? Listen now and discover how to consciously choose your emotional set point for a more joyful, authentic, and fulfilling life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life
podcast is brought to you byExtraordinary Wealth.
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Based on 25 years of experience, this course will teach you how
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(00:44):
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Extraordinarywealthco.
(01:10):
If you want to experience morelove, you need to be loved.
If you want to experience morepeace in the world, you need to
sow more peace in your world.
If you want to experience morewealth and financial stability
in your world, let me tell youmoney flowing is the best way to
do that.
Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host ofthe Live your Extraordinary Life
(01:37):
podcast.
This podcast is built on thepremise that life is meant to be
joyful, but far too often, wesettle for less.
So if you've ever thought thatsomething is missing to be
joyful, but far too often wesettle for less.
So if you've ever thought thatsomething is missing from your
life, that you were meant formore, or you simply want to
experience more joy in theeveryday, then this podcast is
for you.
Each week, I'll bring youcaptivating personal stories,
(02:00):
transformative life lessons andjuicy conversations on living
life to the fullest, with thehope to inspire you to create a
life you love on your terms,with authenticity, purpose and
connection.
Together, we'll explore what itmeans to live an extraordinary
life, the things that hold usback and the steps we all can
(02:22):
take to start living our bestlives.
So come along for the journey.
It's never too late to getstarted, and the world needs
your light.
Welcome everyone to this week'sepisode of the Live your
Extraordinary Life podcast.
I'm your host, michelle Rios,and today we're delving into the
(02:45):
topic of mastering youremotions and being intentional
about the energy you emit, and Iwant to focus on both how we
can achieve emotional regulationand self-mastery, and why it
matters, specifically the impactthat emotional mastery can have
(03:06):
not only on our well-being, buton the well-being of those
around us.
But before we get started.
I want to thank those listenerswho take the time to reach out
to me to let me know when anepisode really resonates or
inspires you.
Your feedback is not onlywelcomed, but it's greatly
(03:28):
appreciated.
I really, really want you toknow that.
So please keep texting, keepcalling, emailing, sending me
messages on social media.
There's a new function now onthe actual podcast itself where
you can leave me a message, sohopefully some of you are seeing
that message pop up when you goto Apple Podcasts and Spotify
(03:50):
or on Buzzsprout, and you can dothat.
Okay, I also want to especiallythank those of you who have let
me know that you're sharing thepodcast.
That means so much.
When you share the podcast,you're helping to reach a larger
audience and positively impactmore people.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou and keep sharing the show.
(04:12):
It's so important.
And, last but not least, as manyof you know, I have a book
coming out later this year andif you haven't done so already,
please go sign up, take it onthe waitlist.
It's completely free.
There's absolutely noobligation, but by getting on
the wait list, you'll be amongthe first to find out the
publishing date, how you can geta copy and book launch events
(04:37):
in your area.
So all you need to do is go tomy website,
michelleriosofficialcom, andeither scroll down right on the
homepage to the waitlist that'snear the bottom of the homepage,
or you can use a navigation andgo directly to the book page
and click on the waitlist.
From there, voila, you'll be onthe list.
(04:59):
Okay, so let's delve into thisweek's topic Specifically.
I want you to sort of sit backand think have you ever really
considered how you show up inthe world energetically?
We all have an energy vibrationthat we bring to our daily
lives.
So think for a moment how areyou showing up in your daily
(05:21):
life In this fast-paced world?
We often overlook the fact thatwe admit energy and that we
impact others, but we do.
All living things, includingyou and me, are made up of
energy, and our emotions areenergy and action.
They're more than just feelings.
They represent the energy werelease and the frequency at
(05:43):
which we vibrate, and I know alot of you know about this, but
I want to spend a little bit oftime here really to get a visual
on this.
So imagine that each one of usis like a radio antenna, right,
we're both broadcasting in aunique emotional signal out into
the world, but we're alsoreceiving the emotional signals
(06:05):
from others around us,particularly in our vicinity,
and each emotion has anenergetic frequency that it
radiates outward, much like aradio wave.
So, with love and fear being theprimary overarching emotions
that govern our experiences andour actions, we need to be aware
(06:26):
that when we're acting from aplace of love and all of the
emotions rooted in love sogenerosity and kindness and
optimism and thoughtfulness andhappiness and joy, all of those
love-rooted emotions that fillus up with again joy, gratitude,
(06:46):
optimism, that actually raisesour frequency and our vibration.
In contrast, fear lowers ourfrequency and it manifests as
worry, anxiety, self-doubt,pessimism, frustration.
We've all experienced that.
Right, we know that.
(07:07):
But while we all feel both fearand love throughout our
lifetimes, we all have aspecific emotional set point, a
sort of North Star, if you will.
It's an overriding emotionalstate of being that really
permeates who we are.
(07:27):
It's kind of our signature andif you think about that, you
know these people right.
You've thought about not onlyhow you show up but you feel how
others show up.
So, for example, your emotionalset point, whether you
consistently operate from loveor fear.
Your emotional set point.
Whether you consistentlyoperate from love or fear
(07:48):
affects not only your worldview,your decisions, your
interactions.
It also impacts your overallhealth and well-being and that
of the people in your immediatevicinity.
So perhaps you can think ofpeople in your life that, no
matter what's going on, they'rein a perpetual state of
anxiousness.
Or perhaps you know someonethat, no matter what could be
(08:09):
going on well in their life orpositively in their life, they
always have a negative outlook.
They have, as we like to say, aproblem for every solution.
Conversely, you probably knowsomeone that, no matter what's
going on, they always have anoptimistic outlook, or even in
the face of challenges orsetbacks, they're able to stay
(08:30):
positive.
So now think for a moment.
Ask yourself what your NorthStar emotion is.
How would people in your lifedescribe you energetically
speaking?
How do you show up your life?
Describe you energeticallyspeaking?
How do you show up?
Again, we all experience a fullrange of emotions, from
positive to negative, fromlove-based to fear-based, but we
(08:54):
each have this overridingsignature emotion.
So I'll tell you it's evolvedfor me over the years.
As a younger person, fear reallydrove me.
I didn't know that it was fear,but certainly there was a fear
of failure, a fear ofdisappointing others, a fear of
(09:16):
rejection or not belonging thatsort of permeated all of my
actions.
So how it manifested in theworld was stress.
I showed up on my day-to-daybasis really stressed out,
looking incredibly busy but alsokind of frazzled, and there was
(09:37):
sort of a badge of honor inthose early years and this is
going back to my adolescence aswell as in the early part of my
career in my 20s and into myearly 30s.
I think about that now andthink, oh, it's disappointing
that that's exactly the state ofbeing I was in, because I know
for a fact that there werepeople that I likely turned away
(10:00):
because the energy that Iadmitted was toxic.
You know who wants to be around, somebody who's perpetually
stressed, right, it's a heavynegative cloud in the air.
And yet that's my state ofbeing, was like that for many
years In fact.
I'm going to tell you a storyin a little bit about how that
(10:23):
all came to change.
To tell you a story in a littlebit about how that all came to
change.
But my inability to managestress back in the early years
took a real toll on my health.
Obviously, I didn't sleep well,I did stress eating.
I was shorter with people fromtime to time.
I really wasn't enjoying lifebecause the more stress I felt
it seemed, the more thingsshowed up in my life to be
(10:45):
stressed about, which weunderstand now is resonance,
right, you don't get what youwant.
Pressure and overwhelmed that'swhat I drew into my life, so it
(11:10):
felt like it was a constanttsunami of more of the same.
I couldn't get out fromunderneath it.
It took me years to realizethat that's what was happening.
I just thought, like this iswhat happened when you were a
high achiever trying to make abig dent in the universe.
I didn't recognize that therewas another way of doing things.
(11:32):
And man, oh man, when I figuredthat piece out, my life changed
drastically.
I mean, it was a massivetransformation.
Flash forward to today.
I show up very differently, andit's not that I don't get
stressed or frustrated or angryor experience sadness or grief.
Of course I do.
But I understand how I thinkand feel impacts me and those
(11:56):
around me, and so I am veryintentional about managing my
emotions and the energy that Iput out in the world.
So for me, my set point is love.
Again, I still feel the wholerange of emotions.
Just like everyone else, Idon't stuff anything down.
I feel my feelings deeply, butI process my feelings and when
(12:19):
the time is right, I always getback to this set point, and my
set point is love.
It's optimistic, it's positive,I have a lot of compassion and
kindness, and I'm able to bethere only because I've gone
through this transformation overthe years.
And so I want to talk a littlebit about how that all came to
(12:40):
be, and it's an interestingstory because it happened at a
funeral of all places.
I was in my early 30s when I gotthe phone call that my
grandmother, who I wasincredibly close to because, in
part, as you know, my parentswere very young when they had me
.
We spent the first few years ofmy life living with my paternal
(13:01):
grandparents, so I had a veryclose bond to my grandmother in
particular.
But my grandmother was in her90s when she passed away, and I
will tell you she was probablymy biggest advocate to become
educated.
I was the first to go tocollege in my extended family,
first to go to graduate school,and I sort of paved the way for
(13:21):
that next generation, and mygrandmother was such an advocate
for that.
So she knew partly thatrequired me to leave my home in
Maine, go out into the world,travel in the world, see the
world, and she was so supportiveof that and I always thought
that that was the only way to doit.
So I left.
I was on this quest to becomeand become educated and become
(13:45):
professional and transform mylife from my humble beginnings.
But then I show up at mygrandmother's funeral and had to
eat some humble pie because Iwas tasked with both crafting
and delivering the eulogy at thefuneral and I was happy to do
(14:08):
it.
I knew my grandmother very,very well and as I'm going up to
the pulpit in our church backhome in our hometown and I look
out at this crowd, all I couldthink of is who are these people
?
My grandmother was in her 90s.
She had no other livingsiblings.
(14:30):
Most of her friends had longpassed away.
My grandfather had passed awaymore than 20 years earlier and I
didn't know who all thesepeople were, because at the
particular point in time this isnow going back a couple decades
, but at that particular pointin time there weren't that many
of my extended family left inthe area, so there are only a
(14:53):
few of my family members andclose family friends, but the
church was packed.
So here I am, sort of gettingready to deliver this eulogy and
really perplexed on who theheck all these people are.
And it dawned on me as I'mgiving this story about my
grandmother, and so, as it goes,I start to tell my
(15:14):
grandmother's story.
My grandmother lived a very hardlife.
In fact, I would say her lifewas mostly marked by tragedy,
devastating tragedy.
She lost three children out ofher eight before she died, so
pre-deceased.
One was an eight-year-olddaughter who, similar to the
(15:38):
COVID conditions it was during adiphtheria outbreak outbreak.
The little girl, who was onlyeight years old, was taken from
the family and died alone in ahospital, and my grandmother and
the other children and mygrandfather were quarantined to
their home and the news wasdelivered to my grandparents
that their baby daughter haddied and they couldn't be with
(16:00):
her.
They couldn't even bury herbecause the diphtheria outbreak
was so contagious and there wasso much worry that it would
spread even further.
And my grandmother persevered.
I can only imagine theheaviness of that experience.
And then, a few years later, myfather was born in the early 50s
(16:22):
and at the same time she was inthe hospital delivering my
father, who's the baby of eightchildren.
Her eldest son had died on thebattlefield in Korea, so her
beloved son, who she had sentoff to fight in the war as a
Marine, has died.
She had to leave my father, herbrand new baby infant, in the
(16:45):
hospital so she could attend herson's funeral.
Well, you can only imagine theamount of stress that put on the
family.
My grandfather descended intoalcoholism, so my grandmother
had to contend with thatsituation on top of it, and she
also had ovarian cancer in the1970s, in a time when very few
(17:06):
people recovered from any kindof cancer, let alone invasive
ovarian cancer.
But my grandmother survived andI share these tragedies because
if you met my grandmother, youwould have no idea that any of
this had ever happened to heridea that any of this had ever
(17:29):
happened to her because mygrandmother understood the
importance of emotionalregulation and the impact of the
energy we emit.
Whether she was schooled in itfrom traditional books, I doubt
it, but she understood theprinciple.
My grandmother always, always,always felt like a sanctuary for
all of us.
I grew up in a home with youngparents and younger siblings,
(17:52):
and so in any given moment ofany day of the week my household
felt chaotic and unstable andmy grandmother was always you
know grandmother's home wasalways this place I could go to
that felt not just warm andinviting and welcoming but
constant love.
There never really was a timewhere I ever saw my grandmother
(18:15):
angry or that I ever saw herfluctuate from this overriding
North Star emotion of she justserved up love everywhere she
went and I know for a fact thatshe grieved because we talked
about these things.
She was open about it, but shedid not carry the toxicity of
(18:39):
those negative emotions andexperiences and bring them with
her everywhere she went.
Instead, she told the storiesof her life in a very different
way, how much she valued us andhow much she loved others.
She showed up for others in ourcommunity, always there for
others Because, havingexperienced loss, having
(19:03):
experienced stress within thefamily with my grandfather's
alcoholism, with the death ofher children that she lost, with
dealing with cancer she couldthen extend compassion to others
and in fact a lot of peopledidn't know that my grandmother
had gone through these things,who met her later in life,
(19:23):
because she had felt herfeelings, processed them and
gotten to a place where sherealized that she wanted to feel
love.
She wanted to give love, shewanted to be loved, and you get
what you are.
My grandmother was probably,from a financial standpoint an
(19:44):
actual money and dollars in thebank one of the most destitute
women that you would have evermet, and yet, I can say this
with conviction the wealthiestwoman I've ever known.
Those people that showed up theday of her funeral were friends
of friends, the children ofpeople she had impacted in.
(20:05):
Our community.
Leaders in our community,people knew who she was, even
though she didn't have more thanan eighth grade education, even
though she wasn't a wealthywoman.
She was a seamstress until theday she retired.
She gave off this positiveenergy and this warmth and this
(20:26):
invitation to others.
There's really no other way todescribe it other than she felt
like home, more so than my ownhome ever felt to me as a kid,
and that continued throughout mylifetime, no matter where I was
in the world.
And so here I am giving thiseulogy, looking out at this
crowd standing room only in thisvery large church for my
(20:50):
grandmother, who's in her 90sand has lived a very long life
and realized.
My grandmother got what she was.
She put so much love out intothe world.
Despite her challenges, despiteher heartbreak, despite all of
the sadness and tragedy that hadbefallen her and the family.
(21:13):
She continued to show upserving love and, as a result,
she got back so much love, whichthen allowed for this flow and
interchange.
You know, I have many, manycousins, because there were a
lot of kids in my family and mydad's family, and so everybody
had large families and everybodysays the same thing Everyone
(21:38):
had a consistent experience ofmy grandmother, no matter where
in the world they lived.
Some of them lived across thecountry, some of them lived out
of the country.
Whenever they came back home,the experience was consistent.
Her level of authenticity andability to show up as herself
was bar none.
And again, I don't think mygrandmother ever knew these
(21:59):
concepts the way I've studiedthese principles over the years
to understand them better overthe years, to understand them
better.
But she's been the greatestteacher I've ever had, because
in that moment, in that church,I'm standing there realizing I
left my home in search of how tobecome a woman of substance,
how to become something morethan what I thought I was to
(22:21):
begin with.
I definitely say my self-worthwas tied to external validation.
In those days I was stillchasing something so that I
could maybe come back to myselfand say I had arrived or I
achieved it.
And it was the most humbling ofexperiences that here I was,
(22:43):
college educated, is that here Iwas college-educated,
t-master's degrees, high up inthe corporate ladder chain of
command, and my grandmother,with an eighth grade education,
a seamstress and destitute froma financial standpoint, was and
is, in my mind, probably themost impactful woman I've ever
met.
She was a woman of influence.
(23:04):
The thing that I was trying toachieve, that I had left the
home to become my grandmotheralready was, and I didn't have
the ability to see that when Iwas home.
It took leaving, having my lifeexperience and coming home for
this funeral for my grandmotherto teach me yet one more lesson.
(23:26):
And so that really was thebeginning of me understanding
that the way I was showing up inthe world busy, stressed, a
little chaotic, quite frankly,because I was running to catch a
plane, or always going to theairport, or always running late
to a meeting and it was what Iwas getting.
(23:47):
I was putting out into theworld a certain energy and
vibration and, lo and behold,that is exactly what I was
getting back.
I was getting more of the sameand more of the same and more of
the same, and I kept wonderingwhen is this going to turn?
When is this going to have beenenough?
When will I have gone throughthis enough that I don't have to
(24:08):
go through this anymore?
And the answer to that is whenI decide to show up differently
in the world, because the worldcan only give you that which you
resonate with.
So if you want a differentexperience than what you are
currently having, it's reallyimportant to take stock in how
(24:29):
you're showing up in the world.
If you want to experience morelove, you need to be loved.
If you want to experience morepeace in the world, you need to
sow more peace in your world.
If you want to experience morewealth and financial stability
(24:50):
in your world, let me tell you,money flowing is the best way to
do that.
It's when we have thisemotional charge to that
resource that feels like it'sscarce or I don't have enough,
or there won't be enough thatyou get more of the scarcity
there isn't enough anxiousfeeling that many of us have
(25:13):
regarding money.
Breaking that cycle for mereally took training my mind
around the fact that it wasnever going to be different, no
matter how much money was in mybank account, until I viewed it
differently and I treated itdifferently and I felt
differently about it.
(25:34):
So, whatever the situation isthat you are experiencing right
now, I just want you to take amoment, get really quiet, take a
deep breath, let it out, and Iwant you to think about how
you're showing up today, whatyou're experiencing and what you
(25:57):
prefer.
What's the change that needs tohappen?
Because the change isn't in theconditions outside of you.
The change that needs to happenfirst is an internal change.
When you change internally, youchange the vibration based on
your emotional state and basedon that, your energy is going to
(26:19):
be different and you're goingto connect with other
experiences and people on thatnew vibration, on that new
energetic flow, on that newvibration, on that new energetic
flow.
So again, I know our firstinclination is to change the
(26:39):
circumstances externally, andthat's not to say that those
don't need to change.
But until you change what'shappening internally, nothing is
really going to change.
You're going to take thatenergetic vibration or that
place that you are in, thatstate that you are in, to
whatever situation a new job, anew department, a new house, a
(27:02):
new town, a new relationship.
So it starts first with makingthat internal emotional shift
and then bring that new shift toa new experience in a new
department or a new job or a newrelationship or a new house or
what have you.
(27:22):
So how can we learn to reallymaster our emotional state of
being and the energy, have moremastery over how we show up?
Again, I don't want anyone tothink for a moment that I am
suggesting suppressing youremotions for toxic positivity.
(27:42):
That is not what I'm saying atall.
I really want you to understandthough.
You do get to choose.
You get to feel your feelings,acknowledge that emotion that
you're feeling, go through it,and it might take you several
hours.
If you're stuck in a commuteand there's a bit of road rage
going on and you're frustrated,it might take a couple days.
(28:05):
If it's a situation wherethere's been an argument and
feelings have been hurt, itmight take several weeks.
If there's something biggerunfolding, either in the
workplace or, you know, in abroader community, and it might
take months when there's a loss.
I'm not suggesting that youfalsely push yourself to a state
(28:26):
, a higher state of being or ahigher frequency, and try to be
there without genuinely beingready to be there.
What I am saying is, once yourecognize where you are
emotionally and you allowyourself to feel those feelings
instead of trying to push themdown, you will likely be able to
(28:47):
process them more, because theidea is to feel it and release
it.
You don't want thoseparticularly negative emotions
to sit in your body for too long.
Go for that walk, exercise,call the friend.
Changing your physiology simplyby moving can make a world of
(29:09):
difference in your emotionalstate, as can reaching out to
somebody for reinforcement orjust a vent, but it's important
that we feel our feelings.
That said, your set point is adecision, barring any particular
tragedy unfolding or mishap orfrustrating experience.
(29:31):
You get to choose what your setpoint is.
A lot of people show upanxiously or they're nervous
Nellies, or they're constantlycrabby and complaining, no
matter what's going on on anygiven day.
That's a decision.
Same thing you get to decidehow you want to show up on a
(29:53):
regular basis.
I hope that you'll choose thehigher vibration.
You'll think about this andmost of you are here because you
really understand the value ofpersonal development.
You're on that journey, you'redoing that work, but you still
probably have a ways to go.
I mean, I think that that's thething we all realize that
(30:13):
personal development is not adestination.
It really is a continuous stateof being.
We are on a journey and on apath of constant evolution.
So think about where you are andhow can you improve your life
and the life of those around youand the people that you impact,
simply because of your presence.
(30:34):
Like my grandmother, her merepresence and her community just
raised the entire vibration ofthat community.
People loved her like, trulyloved her.
This is the woman that bakedfor everybody's anniversary
party and crocheted a babyblanket for everybody's newborn,
showed up with a plant orflowers for everybody's
(30:58):
housewarming.
She knew everybody on herstreet.
She walked with her dog everyday until she couldn't do it
anymore, saying hi to everybody,and that energy impacted other
people.
That is why, at the end of herlife, while she probably was
getting a big hoot out of it, itjust really impacted those of
us in the church.
(31:19):
Realizing this woman, who didnot have any more peers left,
didn't have any siblings left,impacted so many people.
The entire church was filledwith people that wanted to just
be there and show their respectsfor the impact she had on their
lives.
(31:39):
So think about that when youthink about how you have such an
incredible influence on thosearound you, whether or not you
see it, it might not even besomething you're aware of in
this moment, but there could besomebody you simply said hi to
that needed it so badly in thatday.
And if you are in a place whereyou can be aware of your energy
(32:05):
, be aware of your emotionalstate of being and be very
intentional about how you showup on any given day and look for
raising your set point to itshighest possible vibration, this
is what's going to raise theconsciousness of everyone around
you, because they're going towant to have more of whatever
(32:25):
you're doing.
They're going to want to bearound you and, as a result,
what you give out comes back toyou.
It's the law of resonance.
When you're vibrating on thishigher frequency of love and all
the associated emotions, you'regoing to get more love back in
all its variety of forms.
(32:46):
So let's talk a little bitabout tips for mastering our
emotions and energy.
I think, first and foremost,it's being intentional.
We need to be aware of the factthat we have a frequency we do
have a vibration that we emanateon, and so what is our
(33:08):
intention on a daily basis?
One thing you could consider is, every morning, setting a clear
intention to show up servinglove, regardless of the
challenges that may arise and Iknow for some of you you're
going to say in the workplacethis is hard, I'm going to
challenge you on that.
You don't need to be tellingpeople you love them, but you
(33:29):
can be feeling it in your heartand you can be radiating a level
of emotional compassion toothers that they're going to
feel is palpable.
Align your energy with lovefrom the start of your day.
And look, when I say love, Imean the full range of emotions
that are rooted in love rightOptimism, generosity, kindness,
(33:53):
joy, happiness.
It can go on and on Mindfulnessand meditation.
Obviously it's an incrediblyimportant practice.
I know not everybody has thepatience to sit with it, but I
will tell you, five or 10minutes staying centered, even
(34:13):
particularly during turbulenttimes, will help you maintain a
high frequency state or allowyou to get back to a higher
frequency state when you've beentested Some emotional
regulation techniques.
Obviously, breathing isincredibly important to our
(34:33):
daily function, but breath work.
I think many of you have heardof it.
You don't have to overthinkthis.
Deep cleansing breaths in areincredibly helpful to clearing
the mind and the body ofnegative emotions or pent-up
stress, anxiety, worry,fear-based emotions.
(34:57):
If you want to participate inexercise or yoga or light
stretching movement, anythingthat really will impact
physiology will change youremotional state of being.
Part of my emotional regulationis to understand when I need to
walk away from whatever problemI'm solving for or task that
(35:18):
I'm doing that may be a bitstressful, or maybe I feel
blocked on something, and go fora walk.
It's as simple as that.
You don't have to overthink it.
You don't have to be workingout super hard for there to be
emotional regulation benefitsfrom it Energy cleansing
practices.
I mean there are obviously a lotof modalities out there.
(35:41):
Reiki is one of them and Ithink a lot of people have tried
it to really just clear thenegative energy and reinforce a
positive environment.
It's something you might wantto research and look into.
It's just one modality optionout there.
Hypnotherapy is another one toconsider and think about.
Again, the idea is to thinkabout things that you can do on
(36:02):
your own that are simple andeasy to do, but also know that
if you want to go deeper on anyof these practices there is so
much information out there andI'll connect some resources into
this week's episode so you cantake a look at that as well in
the show notes to see if maybehypnotherapy or Reiki or some of
these other options may besomething you want to look into.
(36:24):
And then, last but not least Italk about this a lot because I
think it's incredibly importantbut journaling, reflective
journaling, in particular, fornot only getting your emotions
out and acknowledging how you'refeeling, but I'm a big, big
advocate of writing down whatyou are grateful for in a state
(36:46):
of it already having happened.
So I'll share this with you.
I'm big on saying I am gratefulnow that I am in a place of
relaxed productivity.
Things flow for me easilybecause I'm working from a place
of soul and passion.
(37:06):
I don't really have thesemoments where I'm stuck or too
blocked, but when I do, I goback to journaling, I go back to
going for a walk and breathing,to remind myself that I'm the
block.
I need to remove the blocksinternally in me.
So writing is not just how I'mfeeling in the moment, but also
(37:27):
acknowledging what I want toexperience as if it's already
happening.
So the I am so grateful nowthat whatever I want to
experience is happening in mylife.
I never write it now as afuture tense, because then it's
always something that's comingand not yet arrived.
(37:48):
I talk about it as it's alreadya done deal and I'm
experiencing it now and itbrings that much easier to me.
My emotional state of beingshifts much quicker as a result
of recognizing how effectivewriting these things down are,
whether it's goal setting orrecalibrating your emotional
(38:10):
state of being.
So, in conclusion, I just wantyou to have in mind how much
power you have over your ownmental, emotional well-being and
how you can choose how you showup on any given day.
Really think about youremotional set point.
(38:32):
If you were somebody whocurrently would be described as
quite anxious on any given day,how do we shift to you being
somebody who's more relaxed,walks confidently into the world
and knows that everything'sgoing to work out for the best
in any given circumstance, sothat you can be in receipt of
(38:53):
that experience in your life?
This whole notion of living yourextraordinary life is the
notion of how do we get on theright frequency and vibration
and resonance of that which wewant to experience.
Part of it is the path ofauthenticity recognizing who we
(39:15):
are really being in connectionwith ourselves, checking in with
ourselves about what we want,what we feel, our state of being
, what we want to experience,and then also being true to our
values and seeing where theremay be disconnects in our daily
(39:35):
lives in terms of what we wantto experience and what our
values are and actually what'shappening.
Because that's the path, that'sthe work.
When we understand who we aredeeply, when we're not showing
up simply as a different versionof ourselves to please others
or to play a role, but we aredeeply ourselves in all areas of
(40:00):
our life, everywhere we are,everywhere we go, consistently,
like my grandmother was, thenyou get to really see how this
energetic management can impactyour life for the better.
Again, choosing this higherfrequency emotional state of
(40:22):
being based and rooted in love,you get to experience more joy
every day.
Even when you're under pressure, even in the face of challenges
, even when you don't know howsomething's going to get done,
that needs to get done, youstill can call in this emotional
state of being, of joy, which,I would argue, allows you to
(40:45):
build up the grit the optimismand the hope needed to actually
be in residence of an answer ora solution to the challenges
that you're experiencing.
So, again, this is really aboutunderstanding how we have so
much influence on ourselves andthose around us by simply
(41:11):
learning more self-mastery andemotional regulation.
I will make sure that we havesome additional resources in our
show notes this week, because Iknow this is a deep one and
this is not a conversationthat's going to be a one and
done.
We're going to keep coming backto this because this is really
where the work is one and done.
We're going to keep coming backto this because this is really
(41:31):
where the work is.
This is how we show up in theworld, and how we show up in the
world really determines ourreality.
We show up in the world acertain way because of the
thoughts that we have, becauseof the emotions that we allow
ourselves to feel and to sitwith, and as we start to become
more masters of this and we canchoose how we want to feel and
(41:57):
choose how we show up from anenergetic state of being, we get
to choose our reality, whichthen impacts our future.
You see how all this worksright.
So, in conclusion, I hope thatyou'll spend some time really
thinking about this conversationin your own world and how you
show up each and every day, andthat you will look for ways to
(42:22):
choose love, to choose thathigher frequency.
You'll spend some time.
Go for a walk this weekend,spend a little time journaling
or meditating 10 minutes, notasking for you to do anything
more.
Small shifts my coaching programis called the two degree shift
because two degrees is all ittakes to turn an ice cube into a
(42:48):
liquid form to change a stateof being.
Two degrees two degrees.
You don't need to make a majorlife overhaul for there to be
major change in your experienceand reality of your life.
So thank you once again fortuning into this week's episode
of the Live your ExtraordinaryLife podcast.
(43:10):
I hope you found this episodehelpful.
If so, please share it withsomeone who needs to hear it.
And remember you have the powerto choose your emotional set
point and transform your life.
Until next time, keep elevatingand live your extraordinary
life.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode.
(43:34):
If you enjoyed this podcastepisode, please take a moment to
rate and review.
If you have recommendations forfuture topics, please reach out
to me atmichelleriosofficialcom.
Lastly, please considersupporting this podcast by
sharing it.
Together, we can reach, inspire, inspire and positively impact
more people.
Thank you.
This episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life
podcast is brought to you byExtraordinary Wealth.
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(01:10):
If you want to experience morelove, you need to be loved.
If you want to experience morepeace in the world, you need to
sow more peace in your world.
If you want to experience morewealth and financial stability
in your world, let me tell youmoney flowing is the best way to
do that.
Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host ofthe Live your Extraordinary Life
(01:37):
podcast.
This podcast is built on thepremise that life is meant to be
joyful, but far too often, wesettle for less.
So if you've ever thought thatsomething is missing to be
joyful, but far too often wesettle for less.
So if you've ever thought thatsomething is missing from your
life, that you were meant formore, or you simply want to
experience more joy in theeveryday, then this podcast is
for you.
Each week, I'll bring youcaptivating personal stories,
(02:00):
transformative life lessons andjuicy conversations on living
life to the fullest, with thehope to inspire you to create a
life you love on your terms,with authenticity, purpose and
connection.
Together, we'll explore what itmeans to live an extraordinary
life, the things that hold usback and the steps we all can
(02:22):
take to start living our bestlives.
So come along for the journey.
It's never too late to getstarted, and the world needs
your light.
Welcome everyone to this week'sepisode of the Live your
Extraordinary Life podcast.
I'm your host, michelle Rios,and today we're delving into the
(02:45):
topic of mastering youremotions and being intentional
about the energy you emit, and Iwant to focus on both how we
can achieve emotional regulationand self-mastery, and why it
matters, specifically the impactthat emotional mastery can have
(03:06):
not only on our well-being, buton the well-being of those
around us.
But before we get started.
I want to thank those listenerswho take the time to reach out
to me to let me know when anepisode really resonates or
inspires you.
Your feedback is not onlywelcomed, but it's greatly
(03:28):
appreciated.
I really, really want you toknow that.
So please keep texting, keepcalling, emailing, sending me
messages on social media.
There's a new function now onthe actual podcast itself where
you can leave me a message, sohopefully some of you are seeing
that message pop up when you goto Apple Podcasts and Spotify
(03:50):
or on Buzzsprout, and you can dothat.
Okay, I also want to especiallythank those of you who have let
me know that you're sharing thepodcast.
That means so much.
When you share the podcast,you're helping to reach a larger
audience and positively impactmore people.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou and keep sharing the show.
(04:12):
It's so important.
And, last but not least, as manyof you know, I have a book
coming out later this year andif you haven't done so already,
please go sign up, take it onthe waitlist.
It's completely free.
There's absolutely noobligation, but by getting on
the wait list, you'll be amongthe first to find out the
publishing date, how you can geta copy and book launch events
(04:37):
in your area.
So all you need to do is go tomy website,
michelleriosofficialcom, andeither scroll down right on the
homepage to the waitlist that'snear the bottom of the homepage,
or you can use a navigation andgo directly to the book page
and click on the waitlist.
From there, voila, you'll be onthe list.
(04:59):
Okay, so let's delve into thisweek's topic Specifically.
I want you to sort of sit backand think have you ever really
considered how you show up inthe world energetically?
We all have an energy vibrationthat we bring to our daily
lives.
So think for a moment how areyou showing up in your daily
(05:21):
life In this fast-paced world?
We often overlook the fact thatwe admit energy and that we
impact others, but we do.
All living things, includingyou and me, are made up of
energy, and our emotions areenergy and action.
They're more than just feelings.
They represent the energy werelease and the frequency at
(05:43):
which we vibrate, and I know alot of you know about this, but
I want to spend a little bit oftime here really to get a visual
on this.
So imagine that each one of usis like a radio antenna, right,
we're both broadcasting in aunique emotional signal out into
the world, but we're alsoreceiving the emotional signals
(06:05):
from others around us,particularly in our vicinity,
and each emotion has anenergetic frequency that it
radiates outward, much like aradio wave.
So, with love and fear being theprimary overarching emotions
that govern our experiences andour actions, we need to be aware
(06:26):
that when we're acting from aplace of love and all of the
emotions rooted in love sogenerosity and kindness and
optimism and thoughtfulness andhappiness and joy, all of those
love-rooted emotions that fillus up with again joy, gratitude,
(06:46):
optimism, that actually raisesour frequency and our vibration.
In contrast, fear lowers ourfrequency and it manifests as
worry, anxiety, self-doubt,pessimism, frustration.
We've all experienced that.
Right, we know that.
(07:07):
But while we all feel both fearand love throughout our
lifetimes, we all have aspecific emotional set point, a
sort of North Star, if you will.
It's an overriding emotionalstate of being that really
permeates who we are.
(07:27):
It's kind of our signature andif you think about that, you
know these people right.
You've thought about not onlyhow you show up but you feel how
others show up.
So, for example, your emotionalset point, whether you
consistently operate from loveor fear.
Your emotional set point.
Whether you consistentlyoperate from love or fear
(07:48):
affects not only your worldview,your decisions, your
interactions.
It also impacts your overallhealth and well-being and that
of the people in your immediatevicinity.
So perhaps you can think ofpeople in your life that, no
matter what's going on, they'rein a perpetual state of
anxiousness.
Or perhaps you know someonethat, no matter what could be
(08:09):
going on well in their life orpositively in their life, they
always have a negative outlook.
They have, as we like to say, aproblem for every solution.
Conversely, you probably knowsomeone that, no matter what's
going on, they always have anoptimistic outlook, or even in
the face of challenges orsetbacks, they're able to stay
(08:30):
positive.
So now think for a moment.
Ask yourself what your NorthStar emotion is.
How would people in your lifedescribe you energetically
speaking?
How do you show up your life?
Describe you energeticallyspeaking?
How do you show up?
Again, we all experience a fullrange of emotions, from
positive to negative, fromlove-based to fear-based, but we
(08:54):
each have this overridingsignature emotion.
So I'll tell you it's evolvedfor me over the years.
As a younger person, fear reallydrove me.
I didn't know that it was fear,but certainly there was a fear
of failure, a fear ofdisappointing others, a fear of
(09:16):
rejection or not belonging thatsort of permeated all of my
actions.
So how it manifested in theworld was stress.
I showed up on my day-to-daybasis really stressed out,
looking incredibly busy but alsokind of frazzled, and there was
(09:37):
sort of a badge of honor inthose early years and this is
going back to my adolescence aswell as in the early part of my
career in my 20s and into myearly 30s.
I think about that now andthink, oh, it's disappointing
that that's exactly the state ofbeing I was in, because I know
for a fact that there werepeople that I likely turned away
(10:00):
because the energy that Iadmitted was toxic.
You know who wants to be around, somebody who's perpetually
stressed, right, it's a heavynegative cloud in the air.
And yet that's my state ofbeing, was like that for many
years In fact.
I'm going to tell you a storyin a little bit about how that
(10:23):
all came to change.
To tell you a story in a littlebit about how that all came to
change.
But my inability to managestress back in the early years
took a real toll on my health.
Obviously, I didn't sleep well,I did stress eating.
I was shorter with people fromtime to time.
I really wasn't enjoying lifebecause the more stress I felt
it seemed, the more thingsshowed up in my life to be
(10:45):
stressed about, which weunderstand now is resonance,
right, you don't get what youwant.
Pressure and overwhelmed that'swhat I drew into my life, so it
(11:10):
felt like it was a constanttsunami of more of the same.
I couldn't get out fromunderneath it.
It took me years to realizethat that's what was happening.
I just thought, like this iswhat happened when you were a
high achiever trying to make abig dent in the universe.
I didn't recognize that therewas another way of doing things.
(11:32):
And man, oh man, when I figuredthat piece out, my life changed
drastically.
I mean, it was a massivetransformation.
Flash forward to today.
I show up very differently, andit's not that I don't get
stressed or frustrated or angryor experience sadness or grief.
Of course I do.
But I understand how I thinkand feel impacts me and those
(11:56):
around me, and so I am veryintentional about managing my
emotions and the energy that Iput out in the world.
So for me, my set point is love.
Again, I still feel the wholerange of emotions.
Just like everyone else, Idon't stuff anything down.
I feel my feelings deeply, butI process my feelings and when
(12:19):
the time is right, I always getback to this set point, and my
set point is love.
It's optimistic, it's positive,I have a lot of compassion and
kindness, and I'm able to bethere only because I've gone
through this transformation overthe years.
And so I want to talk a littlebit about how that all came to
(12:40):
be, and it's an interestingstory because it happened at a
funeral of all places.
I was in my early 30s when I gotthe phone call that my
grandmother, who I wasincredibly close to because, in
part, as you know, my parentswere very young when they had me
.
We spent the first few years ofmy life living with my paternal
(13:01):
grandparents, so I had a veryclose bond to my grandmother in
particular.
But my grandmother was in her90s when she passed away, and I
will tell you she was probablymy biggest advocate to become
educated.
I was the first to go tocollege in my extended family,
first to go to graduate school,and I sort of paved the way for
(13:21):
that next generation, and mygrandmother was such an advocate
for that.
So she knew partly thatrequired me to leave my home in
Maine, go out into the world,travel in the world, see the
world, and she was so supportiveof that and I always thought
that that was the only way to doit.
So I left.
I was on this quest to becomeand become educated and become
(13:45):
professional and transform mylife from my humble beginnings.
But then I show up at mygrandmother's funeral and had to
eat some humble pie because Iwas tasked with both crafting
and delivering the eulogy at thefuneral and I was happy to do
(14:08):
it.
I knew my grandmother very,very well and as I'm going up to
the pulpit in our church backhome in our hometown and I look
out at this crowd, all I couldthink of is who are these people
?
My grandmother was in her 90s.
She had no other livingsiblings.
(14:30):
Most of her friends had longpassed away.
My grandfather had passed awaymore than 20 years earlier and I
didn't know who all thesepeople were, because at the
particular point in time this isnow going back a couple decades
, but at that particular pointin time there weren't that many
of my extended family left inthe area, so there are only a
(14:53):
few of my family members andclose family friends, but the
church was packed.
So here I am, sort of gettingready to deliver this eulogy and
really perplexed on who theheck all these people are.
And it dawned on me as I'mgiving this story about my
grandmother, and so, as it goes,I start to tell my
(15:14):
grandmother's story.
My grandmother lived a very hardlife.
In fact, I would say her lifewas mostly marked by tragedy,
devastating tragedy.
She lost three children out ofher eight before she died, so
pre-deceased.
One was an eight-year-olddaughter who, similar to the
(15:38):
COVID conditions it was during adiphtheria outbreak outbreak.
The little girl, who was onlyeight years old, was taken from
the family and died alone in ahospital, and my grandmother and
the other children and mygrandfather were quarantined to
their home and the news wasdelivered to my grandparents
that their baby daughter haddied and they couldn't be with
(16:00):
her.
They couldn't even bury herbecause the diphtheria outbreak
was so contagious and there wasso much worry that it would
spread even further.
And my grandmother persevered.
I can only imagine theheaviness of that experience.
And then, a few years later, myfather was born in the early 50s
(16:22):
and at the same time she was inthe hospital delivering my
father, who's the baby of eightchildren.
Her eldest son had died on thebattlefield in Korea, so her
beloved son, who she had sentoff to fight in the war as a
Marine, has died.
She had to leave my father, herbrand new baby infant, in the
(16:45):
hospital so she could attend herson's funeral.
Well, you can only imagine theamount of stress that put on the
family.
My grandfather descended intoalcoholism, so my grandmother
had to contend with thatsituation on top of it, and she
also had ovarian cancer in the1970s, in a time when very few
(17:06):
people recovered from any kindof cancer, let alone invasive
ovarian cancer.
But my grandmother survived andI share these tragedies because
if you met my grandmother, youwould have no idea that any of
this had ever happened to heridea that any of this had ever
(17:29):
happened to her because mygrandmother understood the
importance of emotionalregulation and the impact of the
energy we emit.
Whether she was schooled in itfrom traditional books, I doubt
it, but she understood theprinciple.
My grandmother always, always,always felt like a sanctuary for
all of us.
I grew up in a home with youngparents and younger siblings,
(17:52):
and so in any given moment ofany day of the week my household
felt chaotic and unstable andmy grandmother was always you
know grandmother's home wasalways this place I could go to
that felt not just warm andinviting and welcoming but
constant love.
There never really was a timewhere I ever saw my grandmother
(18:15):
angry or that I ever saw herfluctuate from this overriding
North Star emotion of she justserved up love everywhere she
went and I know for a fact thatshe grieved because we talked
about these things.
She was open about it, but shedid not carry the toxicity of
(18:39):
those negative emotions andexperiences and bring them with
her everywhere she went.
Instead, she told the storiesof her life in a very different
way, how much she valued us andhow much she loved others.
She showed up for others in ourcommunity, always there for
others Because, havingexperienced loss, having
(19:03):
experienced stress within thefamily with my grandfather's
alcoholism, with the death ofher children that she lost, with
dealing with cancer she couldthen extend compassion to others
and in fact a lot of peopledidn't know that my grandmother
had gone through these things,who met her later in life,
(19:23):
because she had felt herfeelings, processed them and
gotten to a place where sherealized that she wanted to feel
love.
She wanted to give love, shewanted to be loved, and you get
what you are.
My grandmother was probably,from a financial standpoint an
(19:44):
actual money and dollars in thebank one of the most destitute
women that you would have evermet, and yet, I can say this
with conviction the wealthiestwoman I've ever known.
Those people that showed up theday of her funeral were friends
of friends, the children ofpeople she had impacted in.
(20:05):
Our community.
Leaders in our community,people knew who she was, even
though she didn't have more thanan eighth grade education, even
though she wasn't a wealthywoman.
She was a seamstress until theday she retired.
She gave off this positiveenergy and this warmth and this
(20:26):
invitation to others.
There's really no other way todescribe it other than she felt
like home, more so than my ownhome ever felt to me as a kid,
and that continued throughout mylifetime, no matter where I was
in the world.
And so here I am giving thiseulogy, looking out at this
crowd standing room only in thisvery large church for my
(20:50):
grandmother, who's in her 90sand has lived a very long life
and realized.
My grandmother got what she was.
She put so much love out intothe world.
Despite her challenges, despiteher heartbreak, despite all of
the sadness and tragedy that hadbefallen her and the family.
(21:13):
She continued to show upserving love and, as a result,
she got back so much love, whichthen allowed for this flow and
interchange.
You know, I have many, manycousins, because there were a
lot of kids in my family and mydad's family, and so everybody
had large families and everybodysays the same thing Everyone
(21:38):
had a consistent experience ofmy grandmother, no matter where
in the world they lived.
Some of them lived across thecountry, some of them lived out
of the country.
Whenever they came back home,the experience was consistent.
Her level of authenticity andability to show up as herself
was bar none.
And again, I don't think mygrandmother ever knew these
(21:59):
concepts the way I've studiedthese principles over the years
to understand them better overthe years, to understand them
better.
But she's been the greatestteacher I've ever had, because
in that moment, in that church,I'm standing there realizing I
left my home in search of how tobecome a woman of substance,
how to become something morethan what I thought I was to
(22:21):
begin with.
I definitely say my self-worthwas tied to external validation.
In those days I was stillchasing something so that I
could maybe come back to myselfand say I had arrived or I
achieved it.
And it was the most humbling ofexperiences that here I was,
(22:43):
college educated, is that here Iwas college-educated,
t-master's degrees, high up inthe corporate ladder chain of
command, and my grandmother,with an eighth grade education,
a seamstress and destitute froma financial standpoint, was and
is, in my mind, probably themost impactful woman I've ever
met.
She was a woman of influence.
(23:04):
The thing that I was trying toachieve, that I had left the
home to become my grandmotheralready was, and I didn't have
the ability to see that when Iwas home.
It took leaving, having my lifeexperience and coming home for
this funeral for my grandmotherto teach me yet one more lesson.
(23:26):
And so that really was thebeginning of me understanding
that the way I was showing up inthe world busy, stressed, a
little chaotic, quite frankly,because I was running to catch a
plane, or always going to theairport, or always running late
to a meeting and it was what Iwas getting.
(23:47):
I was putting out into theworld a certain energy and
vibration and, lo and behold,that is exactly what I was
getting back.
I was getting more of the sameand more of the same and more of
the same, and I kept wonderingwhen is this going to turn?
When is this going to have beenenough?
When will I have gone throughthis enough that I don't have to
(24:08):
go through this anymore?
And the answer to that is whenI decide to show up differently
in the world, because the worldcan only give you that which you
resonate with.
So if you want a differentexperience than what you are
currently having, it's reallyimportant to take stock in how
(24:29):
you're showing up in the world.
If you want to experience morelove, you need to be loved.
If you want to experience morepeace in the world, you need to
sow more peace in your world.
If you want to experience morewealth and financial stability
(24:50):
in your world, let me tell you,money flowing is the best way to
do that.
It's when we have thisemotional charge to that
resource that feels like it'sscarce or I don't have enough,
or there won't be enough thatyou get more of the scarcity
there isn't enough anxiousfeeling that many of us have
(25:13):
regarding money.
Breaking that cycle for mereally took training my mind
around the fact that it wasnever going to be different, no
matter how much money was in mybank account, until I viewed it
differently and I treated itdifferently and I felt
differently about it.
(25:34):
So, whatever the situation isthat you are experiencing right
now, I just want you to take amoment, get really quiet, take a
deep breath, let it out, and Iwant you to think about how
you're showing up today, whatyou're experiencing and what you
(25:57):
prefer.
What's the change that needs tohappen?
Because the change isn't in theconditions outside of you.
The change that needs to happenfirst is an internal change.
When you change internally, youchange the vibration based on
your emotional state and basedon that, your energy is going to
(26:19):
be different and you're goingto connect with other
experiences and people on thatnew vibration, on that new
energetic flow, on that newvibration, on that new energetic
flow.
So again, I know our firstinclination is to change the
(26:39):
circumstances externally, andthat's not to say that those
don't need to change.
But until you change what'shappening internally, nothing is
really going to change.
You're going to take thatenergetic vibration or that
place that you are in, thatstate that you are in, to
whatever situation a new job, anew department, a new house, a
(27:02):
new town, a new relationship.
So it starts first with makingthat internal emotional shift
and then bring that new shift toa new experience in a new
department or a new job or a newrelationship or a new house or
what have you.
(27:22):
So how can we learn to reallymaster our emotional state of
being and the energy, have moremastery over how we show up?
Again, I don't want anyone tothink for a moment that I am
suggesting suppressing youremotions for toxic positivity.
(27:42):
That is not what I'm saying atall.
I really want you to understandthough.
You do get to choose.
You get to feel your feelings,acknowledge that emotion that
you're feeling, go through it,and it might take you several
hours.
If you're stuck in a commuteand there's a bit of road rage
going on and you're frustrated,it might take a couple days.
(28:05):
If it's a situation wherethere's been an argument and
feelings have been hurt, itmight take several weeks.
If there's something biggerunfolding, either in the
workplace or, you know, in abroader community, and it might
take months when there's a loss.
I'm not suggesting that youfalsely push yourself to a state
(28:26):
, a higher state of being or ahigher frequency, and try to be
there without genuinely beingready to be there.
What I am saying is, once yourecognize where you are
emotionally and you allowyourself to feel those feelings
instead of trying to push themdown, you will likely be able to
(28:47):
process them more, because theidea is to feel it and release
it.
You don't want thoseparticularly negative emotions
to sit in your body for too long.
Go for that walk, exercise,call the friend.
Changing your physiology simplyby moving can make a world of
(29:09):
difference in your emotionalstate, as can reaching out to
somebody for reinforcement orjust a vent, but it's important
that we feel our feelings.
That said, your set point is adecision, barring any particular
tragedy unfolding or mishap orfrustrating experience.
(29:31):
You get to choose what your setpoint is.
A lot of people show upanxiously or they're nervous
Nellies, or they're constantlycrabby and complaining, no
matter what's going on on anygiven day.
That's a decision.
Same thing you get to decidehow you want to show up on a
(29:53):
regular basis.
I hope that you'll choose thehigher vibration.
You'll think about this andmost of you are here because you
really understand the value ofpersonal development.
You're on that journey, you'redoing that work, but you still
probably have a ways to go.
I mean, I think that that's thething we all realize that
(30:13):
personal development is not adestination.
It really is a continuous stateof being.
We are on a journey and on apath of constant evolution.
So think about where you are andhow can you improve your life
and the life of those around youand the people that you impact,
simply because of your presence.
(30:34):
Like my grandmother, her merepresence and her community just
raised the entire vibration ofthat community.
People loved her like, trulyloved her.
This is the woman that bakedfor everybody's anniversary
party and crocheted a babyblanket for everybody's newborn,
showed up with a plant orflowers for everybody's
(30:58):
housewarming.
She knew everybody on herstreet.
She walked with her dog everyday until she couldn't do it
anymore, saying hi to everybody,and that energy impacted other
people.
That is why, at the end of herlife, while she probably was
getting a big hoot out of it, itjust really impacted those of
us in the church.
(31:19):
Realizing this woman, who didnot have any more peers left,
didn't have any siblings left,impacted so many people.
The entire church was filledwith people that wanted to just
be there and show their respectsfor the impact she had on their
lives.
(31:39):
So think about that when youthink about how you have such an
incredible influence on thosearound you, whether or not you
see it, it might not even besomething you're aware of in
this moment, but there could besomebody you simply said hi to
that needed it so badly in thatday.
And if you are in a place whereyou can be aware of your energy
(32:05):
, be aware of your emotionalstate of being and be very
intentional about how you showup on any given day and look for
raising your set point to itshighest possible vibration, this
is what's going to raise theconsciousness of everyone around
you, because they're going towant to have more of whatever
(32:25):
you're doing.
They're going to want to bearound you and, as a result,
what you give out comes back toyou.
It's the law of resonance.
When you're vibrating on thishigher frequency of love and all
the associated emotions, you'regoing to get more love back in
all its variety of forms.
(32:46):
So let's talk a little bitabout tips for mastering our
emotions and energy.
I think, first and foremost,it's being intentional.
We need to be aware of the factthat we have a frequency we do
have a vibration that we emanateon, and so what is our
(33:08):
intention on a daily basis?
One thing you could consider is, every morning, setting a clear
intention to show up servinglove, regardless of the
challenges that may arise and Iknow for some of you you're
going to say in the workplacethis is hard, I'm going to
challenge you on that.
You don't need to be tellingpeople you love them, but you
(33:29):
can be feeling it in your heartand you can be radiating a level
of emotional compassion toothers that they're going to
feel is palpable.
Align your energy with lovefrom the start of your day.
And look, when I say love, Imean the full range of emotions
that are rooted in love rightOptimism, generosity, kindness,
(33:53):
joy, happiness.
It can go on and on Mindfulnessand meditation.
Obviously it's an incrediblyimportant practice.
I know not everybody has thepatience to sit with it, but I
will tell you, five or 10minutes staying centered, even
(34:13):
particularly during turbulenttimes, will help you maintain a
high frequency state or allowyou to get back to a higher
frequency state when you've beentested Some emotional
regulation techniques.
Obviously, breathing isincredibly important to our
(34:33):
daily function, but breath work.
I think many of you have heardof it.
You don't have to overthinkthis.
Deep cleansing breaths in areincredibly helpful to clearing
the mind and the body ofnegative emotions or pent-up
stress, anxiety, worry,fear-based emotions.
(34:57):
If you want to participate inexercise or yoga or light
stretching movement, anythingthat really will impact
physiology will change youremotional state of being.
Part of my emotional regulationis to understand when I need to
walk away from whatever problemI'm solving for or task that
(35:18):
I'm doing that may be a bitstressful, or maybe I feel
blocked on something, and go fora walk.
It's as simple as that.
You don't have to overthink it.
You don't have to be workingout super hard for there to be
emotional regulation benefitsfrom it Energy cleansing
practices.
I mean there are obviously a lotof modalities out there.
(35:41):
Reiki is one of them and Ithink a lot of people have tried
it to really just clear thenegative energy and reinforce a
positive environment.
It's something you might wantto research and look into.
It's just one modality optionout there.
Hypnotherapy is another one toconsider and think about.
Again, the idea is to thinkabout things that you can do on
(36:02):
your own that are simple andeasy to do, but also know that
if you want to go deeper on anyof these practices there is so
much information out there andI'll connect some resources into
this week's episode so you cantake a look at that as well in
the show notes to see if maybehypnotherapy or Reiki or some of
these other options may besomething you want to look into.
(36:24):
And then, last but not least Italk about this a lot because I
think it's incredibly importantbut journaling, reflective
journaling, in particular, fornot only getting your emotions
out and acknowledging how you'refeeling, but I'm a big, big
advocate of writing down whatyou are grateful for in a state
(36:46):
of it already having happened.
So I'll share this with you.
I'm big on saying I am gratefulnow that I am in a place of
relaxed productivity.
Things flow for me easilybecause I'm working from a place
of soul and passion.
(37:06):
I don't really have thesemoments where I'm stuck or too
blocked, but when I do, I goback to journaling, I go back to
going for a walk and breathing,to remind myself that I'm the
block.
I need to remove the blocksinternally in me.
So writing is not just how I'mfeeling in the moment, but also
(37:27):
acknowledging what I want toexperience as if it's already
happening.
So the I am so grateful nowthat whatever I want to
experience is happening in mylife.
I never write it now as afuture tense, because then it's
always something that's comingand not yet arrived.
(37:48):
I talk about it as it's alreadya done deal and I'm
experiencing it now and itbrings that much easier to me.
My emotional state of beingshifts much quicker as a result
of recognizing how effectivewriting these things down are,
whether it's goal setting orrecalibrating your emotional
(38:10):
state of being.
So, in conclusion, I just wantyou to have in mind how much
power you have over your ownmental, emotional well-being and
how you can choose how you showup on any given day.
Really think about youremotional set point.
(38:32):
If you were somebody whocurrently would be described as
quite anxious on any given day,how do we shift to you being
somebody who's more relaxed,walks confidently into the world
and knows that everything'sgoing to work out for the best
in any given circumstance, sothat you can be in receipt of
(38:53):
that experience in your life?
This whole notion of living yourextraordinary life is the
notion of how do we get on theright frequency and vibration
and resonance of that which wewant to experience.
Part of it is the path ofauthenticity recognizing who we
(39:15):
are really being in connectionwith ourselves, checking in with
ourselves about what we want,what we feel, our state of being
, what we want to experience,and then also being true to our
values and seeing where theremay be disconnects in our daily
(39:35):
lives in terms of what we wantto experience and what our
values are and actually what'shappening.
Because that's the path, that'sthe work.
When we understand who we aredeeply, when we're not showing
up simply as a different versionof ourselves to please others
or to play a role, but we aredeeply ourselves in all areas of
(40:00):
our life, everywhere we are,everywhere we go, consistently,
like my grandmother was, thenyou get to really see how this
energetic management can impactyour life for the better.
Again, choosing this higherfrequency emotional state of
(40:22):
being based and rooted in love,you get to experience more joy
every day.
Even when you're under pressure, even in the face of challenges
, even when you don't know howsomething's going to get done,
that needs to get done, youstill can call in this emotional
state of being, of joy, which,I would argue, allows you to
(40:45):
build up the grit the optimismand the hope needed to actually
be in residence of an answer ora solution to the challenges
that you're experiencing.
So, again, this is really aboutunderstanding how we have so
much influence on ourselves andthose around us by simply
(41:11):
learning more self-mastery andemotional regulation.
I will make sure that we havesome additional resources in our
show notes this week, because Iknow this is a deep one and
this is not a conversationthat's going to be a one and
done.
We're going to keep coming backto this because this is really
where the work is one and done.
We're going to keep coming backto this because this is really
(41:31):
where the work is.
This is how we show up in theworld, and how we show up in the
world really determines ourreality.
We show up in the world acertain way because of the
thoughts that we have, becauseof the emotions that we allow
ourselves to feel and to sitwith, and as we start to become
more masters of this and we canchoose how we want to feel and
(41:57):
choose how we show up from anenergetic state of being, we get
to choose our reality, whichthen impacts our future.
You see how all this worksright.
So, in conclusion, I hope thatyou'll spend some time really
thinking about this conversationin your own world and how you
show up each and every day, andthat you will look for ways to
(42:22):
choose love, to choose thathigher frequency.
You'll spend some time.
Go for a walk this weekend,spend a little time journaling
or meditating 10 minutes, notasking for you to do anything
more.
Small shifts my coaching programis called the two degree shift
because two degrees is all ittakes to turn an ice cube into a
(42:48):
liquid form to change a stateof being.
Two degrees two degrees.
You don't need to make a majorlife overhaul for there to be
major change in your experienceand reality of your life.
So thank you once again fortuning into this week's episode
of the Live your ExtraordinaryLife podcast.
(43:10):
I hope you found this episodehelpful.
If so, please share it withsomeone who needs to hear it.
And remember you have the powerto choose your emotional set
point and transform your life.
Until next time, keep elevatingand live your extraordinary
life.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode.
(43:34):
If you enjoyed this podcastepisode, please take a moment to
rate and review.
If you have recommendations forfuture topics, please reach out
to me atmichelleriosofficialcom.
Lastly, please considersupporting this podcast by
sharing it.
Together, we can reach, inspire, inspire and positively impact
more people.
Thank you.
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