August 26, 2025 • 22 mins
Ever wondered why positive life changes sometimes hurt more than you expected? That quiet ache when your child heads to college, the strange emptiness after leaving a job you outgrew, or the disorientation of entering a new chapter—these feelings aren't signs of weakness or ingratitude. They're evidence of transition grief.
Transitions drop us into liminal space—that sacred threshold between what was and what's becoming. When familiar patterns break, our brains interpret uncertainty as threat, triggering emotional responses that can feel overwhelming, especially for high-achievers accustomed to solving problems and moving forward. The tears that come at odd moments, the foggy thinking, the identity questions—these aren't malfunctions but necessary parts of transformation.
What makes midlife particularly challenging is what psychologists call "cumulative life disruption"—multiple significant transitions happening simultaneously. Your child leaves home as your parents need more care, while your body changes and your career no longer fits. This convergence isn't a crisis; it's a clarifier, asking you to examine what no longer serves and imagine what could be. But you can't move forward if you're shaming yourself for feeling sad or trying to bypass grief with forced gratitude.
Through personal stories and practical wisdom, this episode offers a roadmap for navigating life's thresholds with grace and self-compassion. You'll learn to name what you're grieving, mark transitions with meaningful rituals, allow your identity to evolve naturally, seek proper support, and reframe discomfort as becoming rather than breaking down. Because what you're becoming has the potential to be extraordinary—but only if you honor the process that gets you there. Ready to transform how you experience change? Your extraordinary next chapter awaits.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life
podcast is brought to you byTransformational Coaching with
Michelle Rios.
Created for high achievers justlike you, who've checked all
the boxes yet still wonder isthis really it?
You've built success, but deepdown, you're craving more, more
(00:22):
meaning, more freedom, more joy.
You're ready for your nextchapter, one that feels fully
aligned, deeply fulfilling andunapologetically yours?
Through my transformationalcoaching, I'll help you break
free from the patterns andbeliefs keeping you stuck,
clarify your vision for life andbusiness in this next chapter
(00:42):
of life, build unshakableconfidence and self-trust, align
your mindset, energy andactions so success feels
authentic and easeful, andcreate extraordinary results
without sacrificing yourselfalong the way.
If you're done playing smalland you're ready to rise, visit
michelleriosofficialcom.
(01:03):
Backslash coaching to learnmore and apply.
Your extraordinary life iswaiting.
Are you ready?
If you're feeling tender,uncertain or emotionally foggy,
you are not alone.
You're certainly not behind.
You're not broken.
You're simply in a transition.
(01:25):
Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host ofthe Live your Extraordinary Life
podcast.
This podcast is built on thepremise that life is meant to be
joyful, but far too often wesettle for less.
So if you've ever thought thatsomething is missing from your
(01:46):
life, that you were meant formore, or you simply want to
experience more joy in theeveryday, then this podcast is
for you.
Each week, I'll bring youcaptivating personal stories,
transformative life lessons andjuicy conversations on living
life to the fullest, with thehope to inspire you to create a
(02:06):
life you love on your terms,with authenticity, purpose and
connection.
Together, we'll explore what itmeans to live an extraordinary
life, the things that hold usback and the steps we all can
take to start living our bestlives.
So come along for the journey.
It's never too late to getstarted, and the world needs
(02:27):
your light.
Welcome back to the Live yourExtraordinary Life podcast.
I'm your host, michelle Rios,and today we're talking about
something universal, deeplyhuman and rarely talked about
with the honesty it deserves.
(02:49):
Transitions those moments whenlife quietly shifts under your
feet, the before and afters, theturning points.
You can't always plan for, butyou can feel your way through.
Transitions don't always comewith big announcements.
Sometimes they look like achild packing for college, or a
(03:13):
career that no longer fits, oran aging parent who suddenly
needs more help than you knowhow to give, or a relationship
that has quietly run its course.
Transitions are thresholds.
They are the space between whatwas and what's next, and they
(03:34):
often arrive with something wedon't expect Grief, not because
something went wrong, butbecause something meaningful has
ended or is about to.
This is the conversation we'rehaving today, and I'm not
speaking from theory.
I'm in it right now.
(03:55):
If you, I am so immensely proud.
Beyond words, I'm also feelingit, feeling the shift in our
home, that slow letting go of mylittle boy, who is now a man,
(04:20):
and that ache of knowing hewon't be here every day come
fall.
Everyone says, well, these areexciting times.
You must be so happy, and I am.
But what I wasn't prepared forwas the sadness that accompanies
these very happy transitions,the quiet grief that snuck in
(04:45):
between the celebration and thatrealization that my role as a
mother is very much evolving,from front and center to
backseat, and it got me thinkingabout how so many of us,
especially in midlife, arenavigating transitions that look
fine on the outside but feellike emotional earthquakes on
(05:09):
the inside.
So today's episode is aninvitation to tell the truth
about change, to understand whytransitions, even the good ones,
can feel heavy, and to learnhow to move through them with
more grace, more courage andmore self-compassion.
(05:29):
So if you're in the in-between.
Right now, if you're feelingtender, uncertain or emotionally
foggy, you are not alone.
You're certainly not behind.
You're not broken.
You're certainly not behind.
You're not broken.
You're simply in a transition.
And this space, it's sacred.
(05:51):
So let's talk about it.
So let's start here.
Why do transitions, especiallythe ones we choose or even look
forward to, so often come withthis undercurrent of sadness?
Why do we feel so off?
Why do the tears come at oddmoments?
(06:13):
And why does a chapter closingwhether it's a graduation, a
promotion, a job transition, amove, a divorce sometimes hurt
more than we expected?
Here's what I've come tounderstand.
Grief isn't just about death.
It's about loss Loss ofidentity, loss of rhythm, loss
(06:40):
of a role you once held, or atleast an evolution of that role,
loss of a version of life thatfelt familiar, even if it wasn't
always perfect.
And that's exactly whattransitions ask of us To let go
of the known before the newversion of life is fully formed.
(07:01):
They drop us into whatpsychologists call liminal space
, a term that literally meansthreshold.
It's that strange, sacredin-between where the old way no
longer fits and the new hasn'tquite arrived.
And here's what's reallyimportant to understand your
(07:25):
brain isn't wired for happiness.
It's wired for prediction whenthe familiar pattern breaks.
So when your child leaves home,or you change jobs, or your
marriage dissolves, youramygdala, the brain's fear
center, gets activated.
The body interprets uncertaintyas a threat.
(07:47):
So if you felt anxious, weepy,unfocused or emotionally foggy
during a transition, you're notbeing dramatic.
You're certainly not broken.
You're simply being human.
Your brain is doing what it wasdesigned to do, trying to
protect you from the unknown.
(08:10):
But the truth is, transitionsaren't really danger moments.
They're an invitation.
Just because you choose thechange, or just because you
chose the change, doesn't meanyou won't grieve it.
And just because you grieve itdoesn't mean you're doing it
wrong.
Grief is the cost of growth andthe sign that something
(08:32):
meaningful is shifting.
So let me pause here and offera gentle invitation to reflect.
What are you grieving right now?
It might not be traumatic orobvious.
It might be something small, aroutine, a rhythm, a version of
(08:54):
you you no longer see in themirror.
But if it mattered to you, itmatters, let that be enough.
This reflection creates spacefor healing and for something
new to emerge.
Because here's the deeper truthTransitions are not just about
(09:15):
what's ending.
They're about what's becomingpossible.
Now I want to zoom out because,if you're like many of the
women and men I work with,you're not just navigating one
transition, you're navigatingseveral all at once.
And that's what makes midlife sopotent.
(09:37):
It's the stage of life wherethings don't just shift, they
compound.
For example, your childgraduates and leaves the home,
heads to college.
Your marriage is changing,evolving or possibly even ending
.
Your parents are aging, youmight be stepping into a
(09:58):
caregiver role, complete rolereversal.
Your career is no longer asfulfilling as it once was.
You crave something different.
And your body?
Well, I don't have to tell allof you other midlifers, you know
.
Well it's changing too, andthis is not a coincidence.
(10:18):
According to the AmericanPsychological Association,
midlife is the single mostcommon life stage where adults
experience overlappingtransitions, what they call
cumulative life disruption, andthe emotional result Burnout,
anxiety, identity loss or evenjust a quiet sense of
(10:42):
disconnection, like you're goingthrough the motions, but not
quite in your life, and youstart to ask yourself who am I
now that I'm no longer needed?
In the same way, what do I evenwant next?
In the same way, what do I evenwant next?
(11:04):
What if I'm too late to figureit out.
And here's the truth Midlife isnot a crisis.
It's a clarifier.
It asks you to look at what'sno longer working and invites
you to imagine what could.
But you can't do that if you'reshaming yourself for feeling
heavy or sad, or if you'retrying to bypass the grief with
(11:27):
forced gratitude.
That ache you feel it's notweakness, it's evidence that
something mattered, and that'swhere the healing begins.
And for those of you listeningwho are wired for high
performance my achievers, mydoers, the ones who are used to
fixing, solving, moving fast Iwant to say this If slowing down
(11:53):
feels foreign, if sitting inthe unknown makes you restless
or anxious, that's not failure.
That's just a sign that yournervous system is recalibrating.
Real power doesn't come fromforcing your way forward.
It comes from letting yourtruth catch up with your pace.
(12:13):
You don't need to have theanswers right now.
You just need some space tofeel what's real.
So let's name some of thetransitions that tend to hit us
the hardest.
You may be living through oneor several right this very
moment.
You might not even realize thatwhat you're experiencing is a
(12:35):
transition until you findyourself feeling a little numb
or lost, or even overwhelmed.
These are the five most commontransitions we see.
Number one children graduatinghigh school and leaving home.
You're not just celebratingtheir future, you're grieving
their presence.
(12:56):
That 90% of in-person time bythe age of 18 that's so often
cited.
That's not just data, that'sfelt truth.
90% of the time you're going tospend with your child you've
already done by the time theyreach age 18.
Number two career changes orpivots.
(13:17):
When that happens, when you gothrough that kind of job or
career change or pivot, you loseyour identity, your structure
and often your confidence.
Even when you chose the change.
That blank space can feelterrifying.
Number three divorce orrelationship transitions.
(13:40):
You're not just grieving aperson, you're grieving the life
you built with them.
Even mutual endings come withsome level of mourning.
Number four midlife identityand physical shifts.
Your body is changing.
Your desires shift.
(14:01):
Your drive might slow.
It's not weakness, it's wisdomtrying to take the wheel.
But they're real.
We're often not sleeping aswell as we once did.
We're looking at takingsupplements, maybe even hormone
replacement therapy.
(14:21):
We're upping our time in thegym.
We're trying to be more activeto compensate for those changes
physical changes that arehappening.
Caring for aging parents isnumber five.
It's a role reversal with nomanual.
You're loving, grieving andleading all at once.
(14:49):
Let me share a quick story here.
A client of mine let's justcall her Julia left a 20-year
corporate career last year.
Everyone around her kept sayingcongratulations, you're finally
free.
But she called me a week laterin tears and said Michelle, I
don't know who I am without thisjob.
That's what transitions do?
They strip away the identitieswe've worn for decades and ask
(15:12):
us to rediscover the selfbeneath the performance.
The truth is, julia didn't needa 10-step plan and ask us to
rediscover the self beneath theperformance.
The truth is, julia didn't needa 10-step plan.
She needed space Space to mourn, to feel and to remember who
she was before the world toldher who she had to be.
And that's the invitation weall receive in this liminal
(15:36):
in-between space.
So now that we've named the mostcommon transitions and the
grief that so often accompaniesthem, let's talk about how we
actually move through them.
The first step is really toname what you're grieving.
Say it out loud, write it down,honor it.
(15:57):
Number two you want to mark thetransition with some kind of
ritual Write a letter, light acandle, frame a photo, let your
heart catch up with your lifereality.
For me, knowing that my littleboy quoteunquote, my six foot
one strapping young man of a sonis leaving was important to say
(16:22):
out loud.
And you know, while I get a fewgiggles and chuckles from him
and even my husband, we knowit's heavy on the heart because
it marks the end of an era wherewe all live together under the
same roof on a day-in, day-outbasis, and now we go into this
transition phase while he goesto college.
(16:43):
I've marked this transition bywriting a letter to my son.
It was very helpful for me toput down on paper how I feel
about him, how important he isin my life and how his presence
in it shaped my life soprofoundly, from the time before
he existed, right when I wasnewly married or even single,
(17:07):
before I became a mother.
Number three, let identity befluid.
You don't need a label,everything right now.
You need permission to evolve.
So, yes, I'm still a mother, ofcourse I am, but the mom, mom,
mom rituals and calls that I geton a regular basis, you know,
(17:28):
and certainly when he was muchyounger, just aren't going to be
there.
You know I'm going to get thetext more often than not, and
maybe not every day.
Knowing that my role as amother is transitioning and
evolving is something I need tojust allow for now.
And number four ask for support.
(17:51):
You're not meant to dotransitions alone.
It doesn't matter what they are.
Please, whatever you're goingthrough whether it is caregiving
for a parent or sending yourchild to college, or going
through a divorce or ending of arelationship or transitioning
through a job please don't do italone.
(18:11):
Seek your friends.
This is a great time to lean onthem, but if you don't have a
friend, you can talk to get acoach or a therapist.
Support emotional, mental andphysical is often incredibly
important and cathartic asyou're going through a
transition.
(18:32):
I certainly am spending moretime with girlfriends, more time
with my husband.
I have a transition.
I certainly am spending moretime with girlfriends, more time
with my husband.
I have a coach.
These are all very importantparts of my support system as I
navigate not just my nextchapter of my life but my role
as a mother.
And number five reframe thediscomfort.
(18:54):
What you're going through inyour transition isn't a
breakdown, even if you'reresorting to tears.
It's just part of the becomingright.
You've got to shed that oldskin and that comes with a good
amount of cleansing tears attimes.
Let it all out, but reframe thediscomfort.
You are not going through acrisis.
(19:16):
You are not breaking down.
You're in the process ofbecoming.
You're entering a new chapterof your life and whatever that
is whether it's career, whetherit's family roles, whether it's
in your relationship you areentering a new chapter.
Let's call it what it is.
(19:36):
So if you are in transitionright now, like me, and if your
life feels like it's in thatin-between chapter, if something
is ending or shifting,unraveling or unfolding, know
this you are not broken, you arenot behind.
(19:57):
You are simply becoming.
This is not the end.
This is the doorway to what'snext.
So let yourself feel it, honorit and, when you're ready, walk
through it, because what you'rebecoming has the potential to be
(20:17):
absolutely extraordinary.
Now, before we close, I want tooffer you three simple journal
prompts.
The first what transition am Icurrently navigating, internally
or externally?
Navigating internally orexternally?
(20:46):
Number two what am I grieving,releasing or being asked to let
go of?
And number three what might betrying to emerge on the other
side?
You might know the answer, butjust allow yourself to journal
on it.
You'd be surprised what comesup, particularly from our
subconscious, when you justallow yourself to free write and
let the heart lead instead ofthe brain.
(21:08):
These questions aren't here togive you clarity immediately.
They're really here to bringyou home to yourself bit by bit,
breath by breath.
I want to thank you again forjoining me for this episode of
the Live your Extraordinary Lifepodcast.
If this episode spoke tosomething deep inside you,
please share it.
(21:29):
Send it to a friend, a sister,a partner, anyone standing in a
season of change, and if you'renavigating a transition and want
support, reach out.
You can DM me on social mediaor visit my website.
You don't have to do this alone.
Until next time, I'm MichelleRios.
(21:49):
Go forth and live yourextraordinary life, and live
your extraordinary life.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode.
If you enjoyed this podcastepisode, please take a moment to
rate and review.
If you have recommendations forfuture topics, please reach out
to me atmichelleriosofficialcom.
(22:10):
Lastly, please considersupporting this podcast by
sharing it.
Together, we can reach, inspireand positively impact more
people.
Thank you.
This episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life
podcast is brought to you byTransformational Coaching with
Michelle Rios.
Created for high achievers justlike you, who've checked all
the boxes yet still wonder isthis really it?
You've built success, but deepdown, you're craving more, more
(00:22):
meaning, more freedom, more joy.
You're ready for your nextchapter, one that feels fully
aligned, deeply fulfilling andunapologetically yours?
Through my transformationalcoaching, I'll help you break
free from the patterns andbeliefs keeping you stuck,
clarify your vision for life andbusiness in this next chapter
(00:42):
of life, build unshakableconfidence and self-trust, align
your mindset, energy andactions so success feels
authentic and easeful, andcreate extraordinary results
without sacrificing yourselfalong the way.
If you're done playing smalland you're ready to rise, visit
michelleriosofficialcom.
(01:03):
Backslash coaching to learnmore and apply.
Your extraordinary life iswaiting.
Are you ready?
If you're feeling tender,uncertain or emotionally foggy,
you are not alone.
You're certainly not behind.
You're not broken.
You're simply in a transition.
(01:25):
Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host ofthe Live your Extraordinary Life
podcast.
This podcast is built on thepremise that life is meant to be
joyful, but far too often wesettle for less.
So if you've ever thought thatsomething is missing from your
(01:46):
life, that you were meant formore, or you simply want to
experience more joy in theeveryday, then this podcast is
for you.
Each week, I'll bring youcaptivating personal stories,
transformative life lessons andjuicy conversations on living
life to the fullest, with thehope to inspire you to create a
(02:06):
life you love on your terms,with authenticity, purpose and
connection.
Together, we'll explore what itmeans to live an extraordinary
life, the things that hold usback and the steps we all can
take to start living our bestlives.
So come along for the journey.
It's never too late to getstarted, and the world needs
(02:27):
your light.
Welcome back to the Live yourExtraordinary Life podcast.
I'm your host, michelle Rios,and today we're talking about
something universal, deeplyhuman and rarely talked about
with the honesty it deserves.
(02:49):
Transitions those moments whenlife quietly shifts under your
feet, the before and afters, theturning points.
You can't always plan for, butyou can feel your way through.
Transitions don't always comewith big announcements.
Sometimes they look like achild packing for college, or a
(03:13):
career that no longer fits, oran aging parent who suddenly
needs more help than you knowhow to give, or a relationship
that has quietly run its course.
Transitions are thresholds.
They are the space between whatwas and what's next, and they
(03:34):
often arrive with something wedon't expect Grief, not because
something went wrong, butbecause something meaningful has
ended or is about to.
This is the conversation we'rehaving today, and I'm not
speaking from theory.
I'm in it right now.
(03:55):
If you, I am so immensely proud.
Beyond words, I'm also feelingit, feeling the shift in our
home, that slow letting go of mylittle boy, who is now a man,
(04:20):
and that ache of knowing hewon't be here every day come
fall.
Everyone says, well, these areexciting times.
You must be so happy, and I am.
But what I wasn't prepared forwas the sadness that accompanies
these very happy transitions,the quiet grief that snuck in
(04:45):
between the celebration and thatrealization that my role as a
mother is very much evolving,from front and center to
backseat, and it got me thinkingabout how so many of us,
especially in midlife, arenavigating transitions that look
fine on the outside but feellike emotional earthquakes on
(05:09):
the inside.
So today's episode is aninvitation to tell the truth
about change, to understand whytransitions, even the good ones,
can feel heavy, and to learnhow to move through them with
more grace, more courage andmore self-compassion.
(05:29):
So if you're in the in-between.
Right now, if you're feelingtender, uncertain or emotionally
foggy, you are not alone.
You're certainly not behind.
You're not broken.
You're certainly not behind.
You're not broken.
You're simply in a transition.
And this space, it's sacred.
(05:51):
So let's talk about it.
So let's start here.
Why do transitions, especiallythe ones we choose or even look
forward to, so often come withthis undercurrent of sadness?
Why do we feel so off?
Why do the tears come at oddmoments?
(06:13):
And why does a chapter closingwhether it's a graduation, a
promotion, a job transition, amove, a divorce sometimes hurt
more than we expected?
Here's what I've come tounderstand.
Grief isn't just about death.
It's about loss Loss ofidentity, loss of rhythm, loss
(06:40):
of a role you once held, or atleast an evolution of that role,
loss of a version of life thatfelt familiar, even if it wasn't
always perfect.
And that's exactly whattransitions ask of us To let go
of the known before the newversion of life is fully formed.
(07:01):
They drop us into whatpsychologists call liminal space
, a term that literally meansthreshold.
It's that strange, sacredin-between where the old way no
longer fits and the new hasn'tquite arrived.
And here's what's reallyimportant to understand your
(07:25):
brain isn't wired for happiness.
It's wired for prediction whenthe familiar pattern breaks.
So when your child leaves home,or you change jobs, or your
marriage dissolves, youramygdala, the brain's fear
center, gets activated.
The body interprets uncertaintyas a threat.
(07:47):
So if you felt anxious, weepy,unfocused or emotionally foggy
during a transition, you're notbeing dramatic.
You're certainly not broken.
You're simply being human.
Your brain is doing what it wasdesigned to do, trying to
protect you from the unknown.
(08:10):
But the truth is, transitionsaren't really danger moments.
They're an invitation.
Just because you choose thechange, or just because you
chose the change, doesn't meanyou won't grieve it.
And just because you grieve itdoesn't mean you're doing it
wrong.
Grief is the cost of growth andthe sign that something
(08:32):
meaningful is shifting.
So let me pause here and offera gentle invitation to reflect.
What are you grieving right now?
It might not be traumatic orobvious.
It might be something small, aroutine, a rhythm, a version of
(08:54):
you you no longer see in themirror.
But if it mattered to you, itmatters, let that be enough.
This reflection creates spacefor healing and for something
new to emerge.
Because here's the deeper truthTransitions are not just about
(09:15):
what's ending.
They're about what's becomingpossible.
Now I want to zoom out because,if you're like many of the
women and men I work with,you're not just navigating one
transition, you're navigatingseveral all at once.
And that's what makes midlife sopotent.
(09:37):
It's the stage of life wherethings don't just shift, they
compound.
For example, your childgraduates and leaves the home,
heads to college.
Your marriage is changing,evolving or possibly even ending
.
Your parents are aging, youmight be stepping into a
(09:58):
caregiver role, complete rolereversal.
Your career is no longer asfulfilling as it once was.
You crave something different.
And your body?
Well, I don't have to tell allof you other midlifers, you know
.
Well it's changing too, andthis is not a coincidence.
(10:18):
According to the AmericanPsychological Association,
midlife is the single mostcommon life stage where adults
experience overlappingtransitions, what they call
cumulative life disruption, andthe emotional result Burnout,
anxiety, identity loss or evenjust a quiet sense of
(10:42):
disconnection, like you're goingthrough the motions, but not
quite in your life, and youstart to ask yourself who am I
now that I'm no longer needed?
In the same way, what do I evenwant next?
In the same way, what do I evenwant next?
(11:04):
What if I'm too late to figureit out.
And here's the truth Midlife isnot a crisis.
It's a clarifier.
It asks you to look at what'sno longer working and invites
you to imagine what could.
But you can't do that if you'reshaming yourself for feeling
heavy or sad, or if you'retrying to bypass the grief with
(11:27):
forced gratitude.
That ache you feel it's notweakness, it's evidence that
something mattered, and that'swhere the healing begins.
And for those of you listeningwho are wired for high
performance my achievers, mydoers, the ones who are used to
fixing, solving, moving fast Iwant to say this If slowing down
(11:53):
feels foreign, if sitting inthe unknown makes you restless
or anxious, that's not failure.
That's just a sign that yournervous system is recalibrating.
Real power doesn't come fromforcing your way forward.
It comes from letting yourtruth catch up with your pace.
(12:13):
You don't need to have theanswers right now.
You just need some space tofeel what's real.
So let's name some of thetransitions that tend to hit us
the hardest.
You may be living through oneor several right this very
moment.
You might not even realize thatwhat you're experiencing is a
(12:35):
transition until you findyourself feeling a little numb
or lost, or even overwhelmed.
These are the five most commontransitions we see.
Number one children graduatinghigh school and leaving home.
You're not just celebratingtheir future, you're grieving
their presence.
(12:56):
That 90% of in-person time bythe age of 18 that's so often
cited.
That's not just data, that'sfelt truth.
90% of the time you're going tospend with your child you've
already done by the time theyreach age 18.
Number two career changes orpivots.
(13:17):
When that happens, when you gothrough that kind of job or
career change or pivot, you loseyour identity, your structure
and often your confidence.
Even when you chose the change.
That blank space can feelterrifying.
Number three divorce orrelationship transitions.
(13:40):
You're not just grieving aperson, you're grieving the life
you built with them.
Even mutual endings come withsome level of mourning.
Number four midlife identityand physical shifts.
Your body is changing.
Your desires shift.
(14:01):
Your drive might slow.
It's not weakness, it's wisdomtrying to take the wheel.
But they're real.
We're often not sleeping aswell as we once did.
We're looking at takingsupplements, maybe even hormone
replacement therapy.
(14:21):
We're upping our time in thegym.
We're trying to be more activeto compensate for those changes
physical changes that arehappening.
Caring for aging parents isnumber five.
It's a role reversal with nomanual.
You're loving, grieving andleading all at once.
(14:49):
Let me share a quick story here.
A client of mine let's justcall her Julia left a 20-year
corporate career last year.
Everyone around her kept sayingcongratulations, you're finally
free.
But she called me a week laterin tears and said Michelle, I
don't know who I am without thisjob.
That's what transitions do?
They strip away the identitieswe've worn for decades and ask
(15:12):
us to rediscover the selfbeneath the performance.
The truth is, julia didn't needa 10-step plan and ask us to
rediscover the self beneath theperformance.
The truth is, julia didn't needa 10-step plan.
She needed space Space to mourn, to feel and to remember who
she was before the world toldher who she had to be.
And that's the invitation weall receive in this liminal
(15:36):
in-between space.
So now that we've named the mostcommon transitions and the
grief that so often accompaniesthem, let's talk about how we
actually move through them.
The first step is really toname what you're grieving.
Say it out loud, write it down,honor it.
(15:57):
Number two you want to mark thetransition with some kind of
ritual Write a letter, light acandle, frame a photo, let your
heart catch up with your lifereality.
For me, knowing that my littleboy quoteunquote, my six foot
one strapping young man of a sonis leaving was important to say
(16:22):
out loud.
And you know, while I get a fewgiggles and chuckles from him
and even my husband, we knowit's heavy on the heart because
it marks the end of an era wherewe all live together under the
same roof on a day-in, day-outbasis, and now we go into this
transition phase while he goesto college.
(16:43):
I've marked this transition bywriting a letter to my son.
It was very helpful for me toput down on paper how I feel
about him, how important he isin my life and how his presence
in it shaped my life soprofoundly, from the time before
he existed, right when I wasnewly married or even single,
(17:07):
before I became a mother.
Number three, let identity befluid.
You don't need a label,everything right now.
You need permission to evolve.
So, yes, I'm still a mother, ofcourse I am, but the mom, mom,
mom rituals and calls that I geton a regular basis, you know,
(17:28):
and certainly when he was muchyounger, just aren't going to be
there.
You know I'm going to get thetext more often than not, and
maybe not every day.
Knowing that my role as amother is transitioning and
evolving is something I need tojust allow for now.
And number four ask for support.
(17:51):
You're not meant to dotransitions alone.
It doesn't matter what they are.
Please, whatever you're goingthrough whether it is caregiving
for a parent or sending yourchild to college, or going
through a divorce or ending of arelationship or transitioning
through a job please don't do italone.
(18:11):
Seek your friends.
This is a great time to lean onthem, but if you don't have a
friend, you can talk to get acoach or a therapist.
Support emotional, mental andphysical is often incredibly
important and cathartic asyou're going through a
transition.
(18:32):
I certainly am spending moretime with girlfriends, more time
with my husband.
I have a transition.
I certainly am spending moretime with girlfriends, more time
with my husband.
I have a coach.
These are all very importantparts of my support system as I
navigate not just my nextchapter of my life but my role
as a mother.
And number five reframe thediscomfort.
(18:54):
What you're going through inyour transition isn't a
breakdown, even if you'reresorting to tears.
It's just part of the becomingright.
You've got to shed that oldskin and that comes with a good
amount of cleansing tears attimes.
Let it all out, but reframe thediscomfort.
You are not going through acrisis.
(19:16):
You are not breaking down.
You're in the process ofbecoming.
You're entering a new chapterof your life and whatever that
is whether it's career, whetherit's family roles, whether it's
in your relationship you areentering a new chapter.
Let's call it what it is.
(19:36):
So if you are in transitionright now, like me, and if your
life feels like it's in thatin-between chapter, if something
is ending or shifting,unraveling or unfolding, know
this you are not broken, you arenot behind.
(19:57):
You are simply becoming.
This is not the end.
This is the doorway to what'snext.
So let yourself feel it, honorit and, when you're ready, walk
through it, because what you'rebecoming has the potential to be
(20:17):
absolutely extraordinary.
Now, before we close, I want tooffer you three simple journal
prompts.
The first what transition am Icurrently navigating, internally
or externally?
Navigating internally orexternally?
(20:46):
Number two what am I grieving,releasing or being asked to let
go of?
And number three what might betrying to emerge on the other
side?
You might know the answer, butjust allow yourself to journal
on it.
You'd be surprised what comesup, particularly from our
subconscious, when you justallow yourself to free write and
let the heart lead instead ofthe brain.
(21:08):
These questions aren't here togive you clarity immediately.
They're really here to bringyou home to yourself bit by bit,
breath by breath.
I want to thank you again forjoining me for this episode of
the Live your Extraordinary Lifepodcast.
If this episode spoke tosomething deep inside you,
please share it.
(21:29):
Send it to a friend, a sister,a partner, anyone standing in a
season of change, and if you'renavigating a transition and want
support, reach out.
You can DM me on social mediaor visit my website.
You don't have to do this alone.
Until next time, I'm MichelleRios.
(21:49):
Go forth and live yourextraordinary life, and live
your extraordinary life.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode.
If you enjoyed this podcastepisode, please take a moment to
rate and review.
If you have recommendations forfuture topics, please reach out
to me atmichelleriosofficialcom.
(22:10):
Lastly, please considersupporting this podcast by
sharing it.
Together, we can reach, inspireand positively impact more
people.
Thank you.
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