November 18, 2025 • 22 mins
The quiet ache so many of us carry isn’t just about being alone—it’s about feeling unseen in a hyper-digital world. We unpack loneliness as a full-on public health crisis, connecting the dots between social isolation, chronic stress, inflammation, sleep problems, and long-term risks like heart disease and dementia. With clear science and lived stories, we make the case that connection isn’t a luxury; it’s physiology.
We trace how remote work, social feeds, and constant screen time created the illusion of closeness while shrinking our circle of true confidants. Then we pivot to what actually heals: consistent, real-world rituals that release oxytocin, steady the nervous system, and make healthy habits easier. From blue zone lessons on multi-generational living to the simple power of showing up for a weekly class or dinner, we spotlight the routines that turn strangers into community and calm into a daily baseline.
You’ll hear practical, repeatable strategies—weekly family dinners, tech-free hours away from bedtime, group fitness for built-in accountability, and microconnections that retrain your brain to feel safe with people again. We also tackle the rise of AI companions and why simulated empathy can’t replace eye contact, touch, and shared presence. To make it stick, we end with a one-day challenge: text three people you’ve lost touch with, plan one local meetup, offer one act of kindness, and share a phone-free meal. Ready to treat connection like medicine? Follow the show, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find tools to feel human again.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:23):
Welcome back to Living a Full Life.
Today we're talking about atopic that's becoming one of the
biggest health conversations ofour time.
Loneliness.
But we're not just talking aboutfeeling lonely.
We're talking about lonelinessas a public health issue.
We now know that emotional andsocial connection is medicine.
(00:43):
As powerful as exercise, diet,sleep.
So today we're going to bebreaking down why loneliness is
skyrocketing more than ever, howit affects your physical and
mental health, why communityconnection may be the most
important wellness tools you canpractice, and simple, realistic
(01:04):
steps to rebuild real lifeconnection in a hyper digital
world.
Thanks for joining us on Livinga Full Life.
Each and every week, we bring toyou content that you can use and
digest for you and your familiesto live your life more full and
more healthy.
And loneliness is somethingthat's been passed down from
generations as perceived as justbeing isolated.
(01:28):
But in a world where we have somany people and communities and
neighbors that are literallyfive feet away from you, how can
we feel lonely?
It's almost perplexing to thinkhow that can be, but it's the
digital age and how engraved weare in the digital world that is
making people lonelier thanever.
The U.S.
(01:48):
Surgeon General recentlydeclared loneliness and social
isolation as a nationalepidemic.
This is in 2025.
Loneliness isn't about beingalone, it's about feeling
disconnected, even whensurrounded by people.
The rise of technology, remotework, and social media has
created the illusion ofconnection without the real
(02:10):
thing.
The average person today has farfewer close friends than 20
years ago.
Loneliness has become especiallyintense for parents, teens, new
mothers, entrepreneurs, andpeople in transitional seasons,
divorce, moving to a new city,or having a new baby.
(02:30):
You can add a personal, youknow, your personal story to
this and find the times in yourlife when you felt lonely.
It feels like these times ofloneliness are more pervasive
now than ever before.
We had times.
I remember moving my family fromCanada to Florida, and there was
(02:50):
a short segment of feelinglonely, but we surrounded
ourselves with people veryquickly.
And for many reasons.
One, for support, two, to createa village, three, to not be
lonely and to be connected.
And it's really important.
And even though these people arenewer and not as lifelong
friends as our lifelong friends,and they're not our mothers,
(03:13):
they're not our fathers, they'renot our siblings, they are
community.
And it's really important to dothat.
Most people don't realize this,but loneliness doesn't just
affect your mood, it changesyour biology from the inside out
in an epigenetic way.
These effects are higherinflammation, increased
(03:34):
cortisol, a weaker immunesystem, higher risk of heart
disease, greater risk of anxietyand depression, increased risk
of dementia, poorer sleep, lessmotivation and energy, and the
list goes on and on.
Loneliness can increase yourrisk of early death as much as
smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
(03:57):
This is the wake-up call that Ithink modern society needs.
And you've heard it from notjust this podcast, but you've
heard it around.
It started with the pandemic in2020 when people were really
forced to be isolated.
I think that brought it to thesurface of what the digital age
is really doing.
Introverts may be, you know,excited about working from home
and being away from people, buteven they will side on this,
(04:20):
saying that connection is reallyimportant.
So we're biologically designedfor community.
Connection regulates yournervous system, it stabilizes
your hormones, it improvesdigestion, strengthens immunity,
and even increases your paintolerance.
It's really important when wemake these connections
(04:40):
neurologically to in our overallwell-being.
Very important.
We cannot ignore this.
And if connection plays such amajor role, we need to
invigorate and be inclusive inthat to solve it on our own.
So the benefits that happendirectly by being communal is
that you get an oxytocinrelease.
(05:02):
You get an boost of oxytocin.
It's a small boost, but itworks.
And this helps connect hormones.
It calms your stress response,it improves mental clarity, it
strengthens resilience, itimproves dietary discipline and
health habits, and it helps youlive longer, literally.
The connections you get, thesmall, even the small
(05:22):
connections of just askingpeople how they are and
reciprocating and them askingyou how you are, goes a long
way.
And we're not just talking aboutthe quick grocery store, you
know, cashier that asks you,how's your day going?
It's those deeply connected,those deep connections when your
neighbor actually says thatextra sentence and just cares a
little bit more.
That's what we're talking aboutwhen it comes to connections.
(05:43):
Uh, sometimes you just beingable to talk and walk away and
be like, man, I really splurgedon that person.
They didn't need to hear allthat, is therapeutic.
It is something that isbiologically calming to your
system.
So isolation is leading to a lotuh of issues.
We used to make, you know, 20,30 years ago look at behavior
strategically for uh isolationand in a psychology and
(06:07):
psychiatry perspective was moreabout how people's behavior
changed by being isolated.
And they'd become notintroverted, but more isolation,
more isolated, lack of eyecontact, um, quicker responses,
maybe more mute, less talkativeall around, and they were
healthy.
They didn't have any uh mentaldisease or mental illness
relating to their decisions totalk less or be less social.
(06:31):
It just naturally happened, andthat's where research kind of
fell through for decades onthat.
But now with the digital shift,it's happened so quickly where
people are engraved in theirmonitors, their screens, and
they're getting connection fromdigital, which is not real, it's
not human.
And now with AI, this is whereI'm going with this whole
podcast.
If you're wondering where thiscame from, AI is creating
(06:55):
digital avatars, not AI, peopleare creating AI tools of digital
avatars that you can create andmake friends with.
It's getting so real that youcan actually make them look like
your dead mother, or I don'tknow.
I mean, you can see where thisis going.
And that emotional connectioncan actually happen through AI
(07:17):
responses.
My question is (07:19):
if we're having AI algorithms giving us the
responses of what we want tohear, and it's not that human
component, it's kind of likeyour dog or your pet.
They're just perfect, aren'tthey?
They they don't it's becausethey don't say anything, they're
just always there for you.
And that's the same thing withAI.
Well, have that type ofconnection, you can have that
kind of love, just like you dofor your pet.
(07:41):
You can do what am I trying tosay here?
You can um develop, develop isthe word, develop a connection
like that, which is false.
Some may argue with me and say,How could that be false if that
connection is there and you arealready feeling it?
Doesn't that all that matters?
The human component is the keybetween all of this, and we
(08:03):
can't forget that.
We got to use examples of whatwe know, and I've done a lot of
podcasts.
I love the blue zone research.
Um, and and when we look therewith groups with high social
cohesion or live together areas,like in Sicily, in the
Mediterranean, in the PacificRim.
(08:23):
When we look at these bluezones, they all had community.
They all lived within a cohort,they all lived um and and
communicated with each other.
Um, families kind of livetogether.
And so Sicily, it's very commonfor generations to live
together.
You have grandma, mom and dad,and the kids all living
together.
Sometimes it's separated like onthe third floor, second floor,
(08:45):
and first floor.
You have three generations, butthey're in the same home and
they may cook meals every daytogether or they're they're
there together.
There's that tight cohort that'sthere.
In America, we're all aboutseparating, getting out of and
being empty nesters and gettingour freedom.
But still, we want to keepconnection with that.
And we we think that texting,you know, once a week, our kids
or our family is enoughconnection.
(09:08):
It's really, it's really not.
A lot of these people who evendo some of that still suffer
from loneliness.
So we have group fitnesscommunities outperform solo
exercise.
So people who are part of agroup fitness that run together,
go to a spin class together, goto a Zuma together, and they
make that their thing.
I'll say, hey Sandy, I'll seeyou next Tuesday, same time, 10
(09:29):
a.m.
at the Zuma class.
Yep, I'll see you there.
And they and they do that eachand every week, uh, or most
weeks have the deeperconnections that way.
Families who eat together havebetter metabolic health, that as
well.
We just, you know, we don't justadjust the spine as
chiropractors.
That's where you know myspecialty comes from.
We support the whole person, andthat includes emotional and
(09:51):
social well-being.
And that's what this podcast isfor, is to touch on the things I
can't touch, literally.
Uh, if I can't get to your spineand your nervous system
physically, we have to talkabout the things we can do
mentally, spiritually,chemically, uh, to help
ourselves be well.
And this is one of those things.
Mental health is a big thing.
(10:11):
And by no way, shape, or form amI an expert in mental health.
I haven't written a book aboutloneliness.
I'm researching and learningjust like you.
I'm just bringing you the factseach and every week so you can
digest and make your own opinionabout the information that you
get.
But mental health is uh is avery important thing.
And I feel like in the Westernworld, we ignore it.
(10:33):
And social pressors create a lotof isolation where just even our
work and our careers can make usisolated unintentionally.
Luckily for me, I'm a hands-onservice provider.
Um, so I get to work with peopleall the time, and there is
connection there.
I do get connection from that.
I do feel whole and I feel likemy cup fills.
But for other, let's take my ITfriends.
(10:54):
They go, they go into the, theywake up from their bedroom, go
to the kitchen, and go to theiroffice, den in their home, and
they are there for 10 hours.
Uh, they may talk to people,they may not even talk to a
human.
They may just get a chatresponse or a ticket that opens
up, and then they're they'relogging into that software and
they're fixing uh issues thatare broken, and that's their job
(11:15):
all day.
And they do this in and out,each and every day, with little
connection.
You can see how the months oryears go by where a sense of
loneliness can develop.
So we have to take activeresponsibility for building
connection.
It doesn't happen automaticallyanymore, unfortunately.
Uh, with the digital world, it'sdistracted everyone, not just
you.
So people are distracted in thedigital world.
(11:38):
Before, before phones, beforethe internet, you had to go down
to the pub or go down to therestaurant or go down to the
cafe or wake up in the morning,go to the cafe, and see the
people, your neighbors, yourfriends, or whatever it is, or
get together with the the end,you know, a Friday night block
party with the kids and watchthem play.
Um, there used to be more ofthat where you just naturally
(11:59):
had to go do that.
I mean, a week or two would goby, you're like, man, we gotta
go see somebody, we gotta go dosomething, right?
People don't need that anymore.
You're gonna say, why?
Is it because theentertainment's worse, the
restaurants are worse, the cafesare worse, the neighborhoods are
worse, the neighbors are worse.
Uh, it's not.
It's everyone's still great.
It's what's happening is we'regetting fulfilled by digital
(12:19):
media, and it's leaving us thatdisconnect hormonally and in the
biology of our bodies, wherewe're missing something, and the
sense of loneliness isescalating in a lot of people.
So, here are some practical realworld stuff we can do and
strategies that we can take foryou and your families that you
might want to implement.
Even if you take one of thesethings, it may be like something
(12:41):
you're like, wow, this is agreat idea.
We got to do this.
Weekly family dinners.
If you got kids in college or inhigh school and they're just
super busy, I know how it is.
They go they go to school afterschool, they're doing practice,
they're hanging out with theirfriends, you barely see them.
They may be missing the dinnertime, or you got to work, or
whatever it is, you work late.
Weekly family dinners, Sundaynights, or whatever it is, is a
must and has to be a ritual thathappens each and every week.
(13:03):
If you have a family that's likethat, coffee with a friend every
Thursday that's outside of yourfamily.
My father's 82 years old and helives in Canada and winter is
now, and it can dip down tonegative 20 sometimes.
And what he'll do is make surehe gets in his car and he'll go
to the local mall, which isabout 15, 20 minute drive.
He'll go 15 minutes, drive to anice indoor mall so he can do
(13:24):
his walk.
He does a five-kilometer walkevery day, and um, and then
he'll sit down, have a coffee,and usually run into somebody he
knows and they'll chat.
They'll chat for like two hours.
Those guys, those old guys willtalk forever.
But uh, I don't know what theytalk about, but they talk about
that stuff and he comesvigorated.
He comes back home vigorated.
He does his 5K, so he's a littletired, but keeps him moving.
(13:45):
He's on no prescriptionmedication, and uh he's from
Italy.
I mean, he's from one of thoseblue zones.
It's just ingrained in his DNAthat you gotta go do this stuff.
He doesn't even know how to usedigital media.
So I think that's a blessing forhim as well.
A Friday night walk with yourspouse, just gotta make rituals,
make connections, and make theseautomatic.
Uh, and then you what you can dofor yourself is join something
(14:08):
consistent, be part ofsomething, join a fitness group,
join the local church that'saround the corner that you've
always been meaning to, joinmaybe a pro, maybe you don't
want to go to church every week.
Maybe join the programs thatthey offer on the side.
Go into men's or women's groupsthat are non-uh non-uh spiritual
or non-religious.
Uh, parenting groups, lots ofthem all around there.
(14:30):
Ask other parents.
Sports leagues, pick up thatcollege sport they used to do
before, but play with the peopleyour age.
Pick up the beer league hockeyor whatever it is that you enjoy
doing that every you know,Thursday night at nine o'clock,
you go play a game of hockey andyou be part of a team.
Those things are reallyimportant.
Show up repeatedly.
That's how we make bonds.
(14:50):
That's how bonds are formed inour human psychology is
repetitiveness.
It's the constant constantlyshowing up.
If you ever played for a sportsteam, you know what that means.
You show up to every practice,you show up to every game, and
you give it 100%.
That's connection, that'scommunity, right?
Initiate more than you think youshould.
(15:11):
I think this is the biggest tipout of this whole podcast is if
you think you're doing enough,you're not, initiate more than
you think.
For extroverts like myself,pretty easy to initiate stuff.
Hey, how are you doing?
What are you doing this week?
Hey, you want it?
I'm always like, I'm alwayssaying yes.
Hey, do you want to go playgolf?
You want?
And I can't.
They can't fit in my schedule.
But I'm always open toopportunities to hang out with
people, whether it's golfing orwhatever it may be.
(15:33):
Uh, most people are reallylonely today.
So even though you're initiatingand you're trying to get out
there and take care of your ownhealth, you just don't know who
you may be helping.
Everyone is waiting for someoneelse to initiate.
That's our society.
And be the person who reachesout.
Replace screen time with humantime.
One hour tech-free windows eachand every day.
(15:56):
Eat meals without a phone.
Now, the one hour tech-freewindows, this doesn't mean right
before bedtime.
We you have to do that beforebedtime.
Remember about blue screens orblue light.
We don't want to be exposingourselves to light one hour
before bedtime.
So you cannot use that as youras your free downtime.
This is one hour free techwindow some other time during
the day where there's just notech.
(16:17):
You're doing something else,writing or reading, something
else.
Eat meals without a phone.
Please don't have any phones atthe dinner table.
For many other, we could spinoff on two other podcasts on
behavior and mental health onwhat happens when you bring this
to the table.
Teaches your family that theconnection of the family at a at
(16:38):
a very important time, which isdinner time, is not important.
If something on your phone ismore important than that, then
our priorities are inversed.
Put the phone away duringconversations.
Otherwise, you your spouses orpeople will directly tell you, I
don't feel like you're listeningto me when you have a phone in
your hand.
Right?
You've probably heard thatbefore, right?
(16:59):
It's important and it is.
It's not infuriating to theperson that that's being it done
to, but it's also psychological.
It's like if you're not makingeye contact with me, I have no
connection.
Hence why an AI avatar willnever be able to replace a
human, no matter how integratedthe conversation becomes and how
deeply involved we becomeemotionally.
(17:22):
Emotion is only one component ofthe human biology.
Human-to-human interaction isthe full component of human
biology.
We got to rebuild ourmicroconnections.
What are those?
Um, the little things.
I brought up the cashier.
These are powerful.
Talk to the barista, complimentsomeone at the gym.
(17:44):
Thank the cashier.
Microconnections, rewire thebrain to feel safer, more
social, and more open to deeperrelationships.
I remember this is a coupleweeks ago, and I was at the gym,
and I'm doing my uh squats onthe squat rack, and there's a
lady using the extension, uh,the back extenders, and as a
chiropractor, boy, do I hatethat thing.
(18:04):
Um, and she was definitelyoverextending as she was coming.
Sorry, she was doing it reverse,so like a crunch, like doing an
ab sit-up on it.
So, and she was wayoverextending.
And then I go up to her, I'mlike, I hope you don't mind me
chiming in and interrupting you.
She's like, No, absolutely not.
I'm like, the way you'reoverextending is gonna cause a
lot of lumbar facet issues.
(18:26):
And I actually use the words andit's gonna shear it.
She's like, Oh, I'm a dancer.
We were taught, we were taughtto do that.
I'm like, Yeah, and your yourflexibility is so high, you're
gonna have even more.
And and she was like, Thank youso much.
I'm like, try it again, watchthis.
And I stopped her at a certainmoment, like, stop there and
come back up.
She's like, Oh, that's so muchmore difficult.
I'm like, Yes, not only is itmore difficult, you're gonna
develop more strength and you'regonna avoid injury.
(18:46):
And she was, I think she wasokay with it.
And as I was walking away, I'mlike, she's probably 20 years
old.
I'm this 40-year-old creep.
Um, so I I immediately was like,Oh, was that the wrong thing?
But after thinking about it, I'mlike, I went and gave her advice
and she received it, and therewas a connection there.
There was advice, there was uh aconnection, there was
reciprocation from her, whethershe liked it or not.
(19:08):
Maybe she walked, you know,maybe she did think I was a
creep after it.
Doesn't matter.
But that connection, it wasgoodwilled on my part.
Was like, I'm really worriedabout her back.
And uh no, I didn't give her mybusiness card, but uh that's how
that's how we did there.
And that was a smallinteraction, just as an example
of something out of my comfortzone or outside of my norm that
I did.
(19:29):
And then create opportunitiestogether.
Microconnections rewire thebrain to feel safer, more
social, and more open to deeperrelationships.
So, how do you create more?
Pop-up dinners, game nights,neighborhood walks, community
events, simple gatherings, buildroots.
Do you have to host a barbecueeach and every week?
No.
Can you go for a walk in yourneighborhood and just talk to
(19:50):
the neighbors that are out?
Absolutely.
We love bringing our dog, andwhen there's other dogs out,
immediate connection therebecause the dogs want to sniff
and then you get to talk to theowner.
Some of them are reallyisolated.
You can tell who's isolated.
They don't want to makeconversation, they don't care.
You take it personally becauseyou think maybe they don't like
you, but it's really not that.
It's that they're isolatedpeople and they just when you're
(20:11):
trying to make a connection,they're just not open to it.
And these by doing those thingsand asking them how they are can
really change their overallhealth.
It's amazing the the longevityof doing these micro things
human to human.
So if you want to live fulllife, one of the most important
things you can do is surroundyourself with people who help
(20:32):
you feel alive.
This is this has to be a thingyou do selfishly for yourself,
because the outcome is not onlybetter health for yourself,
you're also spreading goodhealth to other people with
connection.
That's what the human componentis all about.
So I'm gonna give you a one-daychallenge.
I want you to text three peopleyou've lost touch touch with,
(20:55):
schedule a coffee or a walk withone of them if they're local, do
one small act of kindness forsomeone today or tomorrow, and
eat a meal with someone, justnot your screen.
Connection doesn't have to be abig and dramatic, it just it
just needs to be consistent.
So loneliness is real, but it'sit but so is the cure.
(21:16):
I mean, the the cure toloneliness is connection, and it
almost seems simple, but youhave to go out of your comfort
zone.
The reason why it's notcomfortable now is because of
the digital world.
It used to be comfortable 20years ago to go out and go to
the go to the pub, hear somebodytalking about the local sports
team, and chime and be like, thecoach sucks, man.
And then that's all a guy got uhguys had to do.
(21:37):
I'd sit there like that coachabsolutely sucks.
And then boom, now now we'rebest friends and we're having
another beer together, right?
So that's how this stuff works.
Connection is medicine,community is medicine, presence
is medicine.
If you want to change yourhealth, change your
relationships, or just rebuildthem.
And if this episode helped you,share it with someone who might
be struggling silently.
(21:57):
You might be the connection thatthey need.
And keep living a healthy life.
These things play a huge role.
Thanks for listening.
Tune in next week with anothertopic we're going to be talking
about.
And if you love this one, shareit with somebody so they can uh
listen to the podcast as well.
And make sure to leave a commentor a review on there.
(22:17):
It pumps us up in Spotify andApple Podcasts and ranks us
higher so more people can findus.
And that'd be super helpful.
Have a healthy week, stay well,stay healthy, take care.
Welcome back to Living a Full Life.
Today we're talking about atopic that's becoming one of the
biggest health conversations ofour time.
Loneliness.
But we're not just talking aboutfeeling lonely.
We're talking about lonelinessas a public health issue.
We now know that emotional andsocial connection is medicine.
(00:43):
As powerful as exercise, diet,sleep.
So today we're going to bebreaking down why loneliness is
skyrocketing more than ever, howit affects your physical and
mental health, why communityconnection may be the most
important wellness tools you canpractice, and simple, realistic
(01:04):
steps to rebuild real lifeconnection in a hyper digital
world.
Thanks for joining us on Livinga Full Life.
Each and every week, we bring toyou content that you can use and
digest for you and your familiesto live your life more full and
more healthy.
And loneliness is somethingthat's been passed down from
generations as perceived as justbeing isolated.
(01:28):
But in a world where we have somany people and communities and
neighbors that are literallyfive feet away from you, how can
we feel lonely?
It's almost perplexing to thinkhow that can be, but it's the
digital age and how engraved weare in the digital world that is
making people lonelier thanever.
The U.S.
(01:48):
Surgeon General recentlydeclared loneliness and social
isolation as a nationalepidemic.
This is in 2025.
Loneliness isn't about beingalone, it's about feeling
disconnected, even whensurrounded by people.
The rise of technology, remotework, and social media has
created the illusion ofconnection without the real
(02:10):
thing.
The average person today has farfewer close friends than 20
years ago.
Loneliness has become especiallyintense for parents, teens, new
mothers, entrepreneurs, andpeople in transitional seasons,
divorce, moving to a new city,or having a new baby.
(02:30):
You can add a personal, youknow, your personal story to
this and find the times in yourlife when you felt lonely.
It feels like these times ofloneliness are more pervasive
now than ever before.
We had times.
I remember moving my family fromCanada to Florida, and there was
(02:50):
a short segment of feelinglonely, but we surrounded
ourselves with people veryquickly.
And for many reasons.
One, for support, two, to createa village, three, to not be
lonely and to be connected.
And it's really important.
And even though these people arenewer and not as lifelong
friends as our lifelong friends,and they're not our mothers,
(03:13):
they're not our fathers, they'renot our siblings, they are
community.
And it's really important to dothat.
Most people don't realize this,but loneliness doesn't just
affect your mood, it changesyour biology from the inside out
in an epigenetic way.
These effects are higherinflammation, increased
(03:34):
cortisol, a weaker immunesystem, higher risk of heart
disease, greater risk of anxietyand depression, increased risk
of dementia, poorer sleep, lessmotivation and energy, and the
list goes on and on.
Loneliness can increase yourrisk of early death as much as
smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
(03:57):
This is the wake-up call that Ithink modern society needs.
And you've heard it from notjust this podcast, but you've
heard it around.
It started with the pandemic in2020 when people were really
forced to be isolated.
I think that brought it to thesurface of what the digital age
is really doing.
Introverts may be, you know,excited about working from home
and being away from people, buteven they will side on this,
(04:20):
saying that connection is reallyimportant.
So we're biologically designedfor community.
Connection regulates yournervous system, it stabilizes
your hormones, it improvesdigestion, strengthens immunity,
and even increases your paintolerance.
It's really important when wemake these connections
(04:40):
neurologically to in our overallwell-being.
Very important.
We cannot ignore this.
And if connection plays such amajor role, we need to
invigorate and be inclusive inthat to solve it on our own.
So the benefits that happendirectly by being communal is
that you get an oxytocinrelease.
(05:02):
You get an boost of oxytocin.
It's a small boost, but itworks.
And this helps connect hormones.
It calms your stress response,it improves mental clarity, it
strengthens resilience, itimproves dietary discipline and
health habits, and it helps youlive longer, literally.
The connections you get, thesmall, even the small
(05:22):
connections of just askingpeople how they are and
reciprocating and them askingyou how you are, goes a long
way.
And we're not just talking aboutthe quick grocery store, you
know, cashier that asks you,how's your day going?
It's those deeply connected,those deep connections when your
neighbor actually says thatextra sentence and just cares a
little bit more.
That's what we're talking aboutwhen it comes to connections.
(05:43):
Uh, sometimes you just beingable to talk and walk away and
be like, man, I really splurgedon that person.
They didn't need to hear allthat, is therapeutic.
It is something that isbiologically calming to your
system.
So isolation is leading to a lotuh of issues.
We used to make, you know, 20,30 years ago look at behavior
strategically for uh isolationand in a psychology and
(06:07):
psychiatry perspective was moreabout how people's behavior
changed by being isolated.
And they'd become notintroverted, but more isolation,
more isolated, lack of eyecontact, um, quicker responses,
maybe more mute, less talkativeall around, and they were
healthy.
They didn't have any uh mentaldisease or mental illness
relating to their decisions totalk less or be less social.
(06:31):
It just naturally happened, andthat's where research kind of
fell through for decades onthat.
But now with the digital shift,it's happened so quickly where
people are engraved in theirmonitors, their screens, and
they're getting connection fromdigital, which is not real, it's
not human.
And now with AI, this is whereI'm going with this whole
podcast.
If you're wondering where thiscame from, AI is creating
(06:55):
digital avatars, not AI, peopleare creating AI tools of digital
avatars that you can create andmake friends with.
It's getting so real that youcan actually make them look like
your dead mother, or I don'tknow.
I mean, you can see where thisis going.
And that emotional connectioncan actually happen through AI
(07:17):
responses.
My question is (07:19):
if we're having AI algorithms giving us the
responses of what we want tohear, and it's not that human
component, it's kind of likeyour dog or your pet.
They're just perfect, aren'tthey?
They they don't it's becausethey don't say anything, they're
just always there for you.
And that's the same thing withAI.
Well, have that type ofconnection, you can have that
kind of love, just like you dofor your pet.
(07:41):
You can do what am I trying tosay here?
You can um develop, develop isthe word, develop a connection
like that, which is false.
Some may argue with me and say,How could that be false if that
connection is there and you arealready feeling it?
Doesn't that all that matters?
The human component is the keybetween all of this, and we
(08:03):
can't forget that.
We got to use examples of whatwe know, and I've done a lot of
podcasts.
I love the blue zone research.
Um, and and when we look therewith groups with high social
cohesion or live together areas,like in Sicily, in the
Mediterranean, in the PacificRim.
(08:23):
When we look at these bluezones, they all had community.
They all lived within a cohort,they all lived um and and
communicated with each other.
Um, families kind of livetogether.
And so Sicily, it's very commonfor generations to live
together.
You have grandma, mom and dad,and the kids all living
together.
Sometimes it's separated like onthe third floor, second floor,
(08:45):
and first floor.
You have three generations, butthey're in the same home and
they may cook meals every daytogether or they're they're
there together.
There's that tight cohort that'sthere.
In America, we're all aboutseparating, getting out of and
being empty nesters and gettingour freedom.
But still, we want to keepconnection with that.
And we we think that texting,you know, once a week, our kids
or our family is enoughconnection.
(09:08):
It's really, it's really not.
A lot of these people who evendo some of that still suffer
from loneliness.
So we have group fitnesscommunities outperform solo
exercise.
So people who are part of agroup fitness that run together,
go to a spin class together, goto a Zuma together, and they
make that their thing.
I'll say, hey Sandy, I'll seeyou next Tuesday, same time, 10
(09:29):
a.m.
at the Zuma class.
Yep, I'll see you there.
And they and they do that eachand every week, uh, or most
weeks have the deeperconnections that way.
Families who eat together havebetter metabolic health, that as
well.
We just, you know, we don't justadjust the spine as
chiropractors.
That's where you know myspecialty comes from.
We support the whole person, andthat includes emotional and
(09:51):
social well-being.
And that's what this podcast isfor, is to touch on the things I
can't touch, literally.
Uh, if I can't get to your spineand your nervous system
physically, we have to talkabout the things we can do
mentally, spiritually,chemically, uh, to help
ourselves be well.
And this is one of those things.
Mental health is a big thing.
(10:11):
And by no way, shape, or form amI an expert in mental health.
I haven't written a book aboutloneliness.
I'm researching and learningjust like you.
I'm just bringing you the factseach and every week so you can
digest and make your own opinionabout the information that you
get.
But mental health is uh is avery important thing.
And I feel like in the Westernworld, we ignore it.
(10:33):
And social pressors create a lotof isolation where just even our
work and our careers can make usisolated unintentionally.
Luckily for me, I'm a hands-onservice provider.
Um, so I get to work with peopleall the time, and there is
connection there.
I do get connection from that.
I do feel whole and I feel likemy cup fills.
But for other, let's take my ITfriends.
(10:54):
They go, they go into the, theywake up from their bedroom, go
to the kitchen, and go to theiroffice, den in their home, and
they are there for 10 hours.
Uh, they may talk to people,they may not even talk to a
human.
They may just get a chatresponse or a ticket that opens
up, and then they're they'relogging into that software and
they're fixing uh issues thatare broken, and that's their job
(11:15):
all day.
And they do this in and out,each and every day, with little
connection.
You can see how the months oryears go by where a sense of
loneliness can develop.
So we have to take activeresponsibility for building
connection.
It doesn't happen automaticallyanymore, unfortunately.
Uh, with the digital world, it'sdistracted everyone, not just
you.
So people are distracted in thedigital world.
(11:38):
Before, before phones, beforethe internet, you had to go down
to the pub or go down to therestaurant or go down to the
cafe or wake up in the morning,go to the cafe, and see the
people, your neighbors, yourfriends, or whatever it is, or
get together with the the end,you know, a Friday night block
party with the kids and watchthem play.
Um, there used to be more ofthat where you just naturally
(11:59):
had to go do that.
I mean, a week or two would goby, you're like, man, we gotta
go see somebody, we gotta go dosomething, right?
People don't need that anymore.
You're gonna say, why?
Is it because theentertainment's worse, the
restaurants are worse, the cafesare worse, the neighborhoods are
worse, the neighbors are worse.
Uh, it's not.
It's everyone's still great.
It's what's happening is we'regetting fulfilled by digital
(12:19):
media, and it's leaving us thatdisconnect hormonally and in the
biology of our bodies, wherewe're missing something, and the
sense of loneliness isescalating in a lot of people.
So, here are some practical realworld stuff we can do and
strategies that we can take foryou and your families that you
might want to implement.
Even if you take one of thesethings, it may be like something
(12:41):
you're like, wow, this is agreat idea.
We got to do this.
Weekly family dinners.
If you got kids in college or inhigh school and they're just
super busy, I know how it is.
They go they go to school afterschool, they're doing practice,
they're hanging out with theirfriends, you barely see them.
They may be missing the dinnertime, or you got to work, or
whatever it is, you work late.
Weekly family dinners, Sundaynights, or whatever it is, is a
must and has to be a ritual thathappens each and every week.
(13:03):
If you have a family that's likethat, coffee with a friend every
Thursday that's outside of yourfamily.
My father's 82 years old and helives in Canada and winter is
now, and it can dip down tonegative 20 sometimes.
And what he'll do is make surehe gets in his car and he'll go
to the local mall, which isabout 15, 20 minute drive.
He'll go 15 minutes, drive to anice indoor mall so he can do
(13:24):
his walk.
He does a five-kilometer walkevery day, and um, and then
he'll sit down, have a coffee,and usually run into somebody he
knows and they'll chat.
They'll chat for like two hours.
Those guys, those old guys willtalk forever.
But uh, I don't know what theytalk about, but they talk about
that stuff and he comesvigorated.
He comes back home vigorated.
He does his 5K, so he's a littletired, but keeps him moving.
(13:45):
He's on no prescriptionmedication, and uh he's from
Italy.
I mean, he's from one of thoseblue zones.
It's just ingrained in his DNAthat you gotta go do this stuff.
He doesn't even know how to usedigital media.
So I think that's a blessing forhim as well.
A Friday night walk with yourspouse, just gotta make rituals,
make connections, and make theseautomatic.
Uh, and then you what you can dofor yourself is join something
(14:08):
consistent, be part ofsomething, join a fitness group,
join the local church that'saround the corner that you've
always been meaning to, joinmaybe a pro, maybe you don't
want to go to church every week.
Maybe join the programs thatthey offer on the side.
Go into men's or women's groupsthat are non-uh non-uh spiritual
or non-religious.
Uh, parenting groups, lots ofthem all around there.
(14:30):
Ask other parents.
Sports leagues, pick up thatcollege sport they used to do
before, but play with the peopleyour age.
Pick up the beer league hockeyor whatever it is that you enjoy
doing that every you know,Thursday night at nine o'clock,
you go play a game of hockey andyou be part of a team.
Those things are reallyimportant.
Show up repeatedly.
That's how we make bonds.
(14:50):
That's how bonds are formed inour human psychology is
repetitiveness.
It's the constant constantlyshowing up.
If you ever played for a sportsteam, you know what that means.
You show up to every practice,you show up to every game, and
you give it 100%.
That's connection, that'scommunity, right?
Initiate more than you think youshould.
(15:11):
I think this is the biggest tipout of this whole podcast is if
you think you're doing enough,you're not, initiate more than
you think.
For extroverts like myself,pretty easy to initiate stuff.
Hey, how are you doing?
What are you doing this week?
Hey, you want it?
I'm always like, I'm alwayssaying yes.
Hey, do you want to go playgolf?
You want?
And I can't.
They can't fit in my schedule.
But I'm always open toopportunities to hang out with
people, whether it's golfing orwhatever it may be.
(15:33):
Uh, most people are reallylonely today.
So even though you're initiatingand you're trying to get out
there and take care of your ownhealth, you just don't know who
you may be helping.
Everyone is waiting for someoneelse to initiate.
That's our society.
And be the person who reachesout.
Replace screen time with humantime.
One hour tech-free windows eachand every day.
(15:56):
Eat meals without a phone.
Now, the one hour tech-freewindows, this doesn't mean right
before bedtime.
We you have to do that beforebedtime.
Remember about blue screens orblue light.
We don't want to be exposingourselves to light one hour
before bedtime.
So you cannot use that as youras your free downtime.
This is one hour free techwindow some other time during
the day where there's just notech.
(16:17):
You're doing something else,writing or reading, something
else.
Eat meals without a phone.
Please don't have any phones atthe dinner table.
For many other, we could spinoff on two other podcasts on
behavior and mental health onwhat happens when you bring this
to the table.
Teaches your family that theconnection of the family at a at
(16:38):
a very important time, which isdinner time, is not important.
If something on your phone ismore important than that, then
our priorities are inversed.
Put the phone away duringconversations.
Otherwise, you your spouses orpeople will directly tell you, I
don't feel like you're listeningto me when you have a phone in
your hand.
Right?
You've probably heard thatbefore, right?
(16:59):
It's important and it is.
It's not infuriating to theperson that that's being it done
to, but it's also psychological.
It's like if you're not makingeye contact with me, I have no
connection.
Hence why an AI avatar willnever be able to replace a
human, no matter how integratedthe conversation becomes and how
deeply involved we becomeemotionally.
(17:22):
Emotion is only one component ofthe human biology.
Human-to-human interaction isthe full component of human
biology.
We got to rebuild ourmicroconnections.
What are those?
Um, the little things.
I brought up the cashier.
These are powerful.
Talk to the barista, complimentsomeone at the gym.
(17:44):
Thank the cashier.
Microconnections, rewire thebrain to feel safer, more
social, and more open to deeperrelationships.
I remember this is a coupleweeks ago, and I was at the gym,
and I'm doing my uh squats onthe squat rack, and there's a
lady using the extension, uh,the back extenders, and as a
chiropractor, boy, do I hatethat thing.
(18:04):
Um, and she was definitelyoverextending as she was coming.
Sorry, she was doing it reverse,so like a crunch, like doing an
ab sit-up on it.
So, and she was wayoverextending.
And then I go up to her, I'mlike, I hope you don't mind me
chiming in and interrupting you.
She's like, No, absolutely not.
I'm like, the way you'reoverextending is gonna cause a
lot of lumbar facet issues.
(18:26):
And I actually use the words andit's gonna shear it.
She's like, Oh, I'm a dancer.
We were taught, we were taughtto do that.
I'm like, Yeah, and your yourflexibility is so high, you're
gonna have even more.
And and she was like, Thank youso much.
I'm like, try it again, watchthis.
And I stopped her at a certainmoment, like, stop there and
come back up.
She's like, Oh, that's so muchmore difficult.
I'm like, Yes, not only is itmore difficult, you're gonna
develop more strength and you'regonna avoid injury.
(18:46):
And she was, I think she wasokay with it.
And as I was walking away, I'mlike, she's probably 20 years
old.
I'm this 40-year-old creep.
Um, so I I immediately was like,Oh, was that the wrong thing?
But after thinking about it, I'mlike, I went and gave her advice
and she received it, and therewas a connection there.
There was advice, there was uh aconnection, there was
reciprocation from her, whethershe liked it or not.
(19:08):
Maybe she walked, you know,maybe she did think I was a
creep after it.
Doesn't matter.
But that connection, it wasgoodwilled on my part.
Was like, I'm really worriedabout her back.
And uh no, I didn't give her mybusiness card, but uh that's how
that's how we did there.
And that was a smallinteraction, just as an example
of something out of my comfortzone or outside of my norm that
I did.
(19:29):
And then create opportunitiestogether.
Microconnections rewire thebrain to feel safer, more
social, and more open to deeperrelationships.
So, how do you create more?
Pop-up dinners, game nights,neighborhood walks, community
events, simple gatherings, buildroots.
Do you have to host a barbecueeach and every week?
No.
Can you go for a walk in yourneighborhood and just talk to
(19:50):
the neighbors that are out?
Absolutely.
We love bringing our dog, andwhen there's other dogs out,
immediate connection therebecause the dogs want to sniff
and then you get to talk to theowner.
Some of them are reallyisolated.
You can tell who's isolated.
They don't want to makeconversation, they don't care.
You take it personally becauseyou think maybe they don't like
you, but it's really not that.
It's that they're isolatedpeople and they just when you're
(20:11):
trying to make a connection,they're just not open to it.
And these by doing those thingsand asking them how they are can
really change their overallhealth.
It's amazing the the longevityof doing these micro things
human to human.
So if you want to live fulllife, one of the most important
things you can do is surroundyourself with people who help
(20:32):
you feel alive.
This is this has to be a thingyou do selfishly for yourself,
because the outcome is not onlybetter health for yourself,
you're also spreading goodhealth to other people with
connection.
That's what the human componentis all about.
So I'm gonna give you a one-daychallenge.
I want you to text three peopleyou've lost touch touch with,
(20:55):
schedule a coffee or a walk withone of them if they're local, do
one small act of kindness forsomeone today or tomorrow, and
eat a meal with someone, justnot your screen.
Connection doesn't have to be abig and dramatic, it just it
just needs to be consistent.
So loneliness is real, but it'sit but so is the cure.
(21:16):
I mean, the the cure toloneliness is connection, and it
almost seems simple, but youhave to go out of your comfort
zone.
The reason why it's notcomfortable now is because of
the digital world.
It used to be comfortable 20years ago to go out and go to
the go to the pub, hear somebodytalking about the local sports
team, and chime and be like, thecoach sucks, man.
And then that's all a guy got uhguys had to do.
(21:37):
I'd sit there like that coachabsolutely sucks.
And then boom, now now we'rebest friends and we're having
another beer together, right?
So that's how this stuff works.
Connection is medicine,community is medicine, presence
is medicine.
If you want to change yourhealth, change your
relationships, or just rebuildthem.
And if this episode helped you,share it with someone who might
be struggling silently.
(21:57):
You might be the connection thatthey need.
And keep living a healthy life.
These things play a huge role.
Thanks for listening.
Tune in next week with anothertopic we're going to be talking
about.
And if you love this one, shareit with somebody so they can uh
listen to the podcast as well.
And make sure to leave a commentor a review on there.
(22:17):
It pumps us up in Spotify andApple Podcasts and ranks us
higher so more people can findus.
And that'd be super helpful.
Have a healthy week, stay well,stay healthy, take care.
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