“Blood Made Us Related, But Loyalty Made Us Family”

We kick off Season 3 of Love Our Talks  with a deeply personal topic that many of us carry in silence – the complicated relationship between blood family and chosen family. Family wounds cut differently, especially when we realize those sharing our DNA aren't genuinely in our corner.

• Blood made us related, but loyalty makes us family
• The deepest wounds often come from people who share our last name
• Some relatives only love the broken version of you that needed them
• Family isn't just blood, it's behavior – how they speak about you when you're not in the room
• People with the same last name don't automatically guarantee real love
• You didn't lose them – they lost access to your light
• Chosen family is sacred, healing, and represents real love
• Protect your peace, even from people who raised you

Make sure you share this episode with someone who needs to hear it, because so many people are hurting in silence and won't talk about it. You can find me on all social media platforms – send me a DM if you want to talk about it.

We would LOVE to hear from you!

Thank you joining  Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome, welcome back you guys.
I am so, so excited.
I'm so super excited, okay,because, guess what?
We are kicking off season threetoday.
Man, I can't be happier, youguys, to have gotten this far,

(00:21):
my goodness, thank you, thankyou, thank you so much.
I want to say thank you toeveryone that has tuned in to
listen to my podcast, that hassupported the podcast, that has
shared the podcast, all of thesethings, because without you
y'all, I wouldn't keep doingthis.
Right, because I know that mypodcast is reaching people, it

(00:47):
is touching people, it is makinga difference in people's lives.
So, thank you, thank you, thankyou so very much, okay, thank
you.
Yes, and we are still thepodcast in season three.
We're still going to talk aboutlove, relationships, dating,
wellness and a little bit ofentertainment as well.
Also, with this season, we'regoing to go deeper, like, we're

(01:14):
going even deeper.
We're talking about real talk,real healing and real elevation.
All right, look, I'm your host,k Love, your certified
matchmaker and love advisor.
And today, today's episode, ispersonal.
Yes, it is really personal,powerful and something so many

(01:38):
of us carry in silence.
Yes, I'm talking about bloodmade us related, but loyalty,
that's what makes us family, yes, so let's go ahead, let's get

(01:58):
on into it, because here's thething you don't get to choose
your bloodline, but you do getto choose who you call family.
And just because we share DNAdoesn't mean we share values, it
doesn't mean we share visionand it doesn't mean we share

(02:18):
love, because some of thedeepest wounds I've ever had to
deal and heal from didn't comefrom strangers.
They came from people whoshared my last name, people who
watched me grow up, held me as achild and later held In their

(02:45):
heart.
Y'all Right there I'm not goingto cry.
I'm not going to cry right now,because that's deep, that is so
deep, mmm, mmm.
There's a pain that hitsdifferent when you realize
Someone in your own family wasnever really there for you,

(03:15):
never rooting for you, never hadyour back.
They were silently competing,you know, secretly comparing and
secretly jealous.
Because the moment you start toshine, step into your purpose
and do what God called you to do, and suddenly they go distant,

(03:38):
they downplay your wins, theyquestion your elevation, they
throw slick comments out thereand act like you're the one who
changed.
But here's the truth and I wantyou to hear me with your spirit
.
Okay, I want you to listen.
Hear me with your spirit.

(04:00):
Family isn't just blood, it'sbehavior.
It's how they speak about youwhen you're not in the room.
It's whether they clap when youwin or cringe in silence.
It's how they support yourhealing, not just when you know.

(04:20):
They handle you when you'rehurt or you're.
You know things of that nature,because some relatives only love
the version of you that wasbroken, that needed them, that
stayed small, but the moment youstarted rising, they felt
threatened instead of proud.
Y'all.

(04:42):
I got so many experiences.
That's happened to me and I canrecall, you know, when I
started acting.
You know it was the oh, I'm sohappy for you.
Yeah, let's, you know, do this,let's do that.

(05:04):
And you know, at that time, ofcourse, I'm always appreciative
of the love that I honestlythought I was getting at the
time.
I honestly, really, reallyreally thought they were
supporting me.

(05:24):
Love can blind you, y'all.
Love can blind you If you arethat type of person, right, like
me, I do wear my heart on mysleeve, but I am cautious, right
.
I don't just walk around andjust openly like, hey, here's my
heart.
I got to get to know you first,right, and then that's when

(05:45):
it's out there, my heart is justopen, right.
But here's the thing.
Growing up, I literally thought,because we're family, you're
going to love me, because that'swhat we're supposed to do.
And the kicker is, this is thekicker y'all.
My real last name is love.

(06:06):
My mom's name is love.
That's my family's name.
This is not a made up name.
This is not for show.
This is not a name that I madeup just because I'm an actor.
I made up just because I'm anactor.
No, this is my God-given lastname.
I was born with this last namelove.

(06:27):
And so, with that being said,as a reminder that that
four-letter word is powerful,right, you would think that that
would be a reminder foreveryone in the family that, hey
, we really should love.
Let's, you know, live up tothis last name really.

(06:49):
And so, in my mind, growing up,that is literally what I
thought.
That is literally what I carryin my heart.
What I carry in my heart, eventhough I grew up them calling me
names.
I didn't really get it until,like, I got older.

(07:11):
You know, the thing is like Isaid, when I was started acting,
you know, I thought they weresupporting me.
I thought that this was reallove and it was fun, it was all
cool and everything at the timewe would, you know, little did I

(07:35):
know that deep down insomeone's body, spirit, heart or
whatever you want to call it,there was secret jealousy, there
was secret hate.
You know they were carryingsomething deep down that they

(07:57):
didn't show.
Well, I didn't see it Until now, until as of late, yes, so I
say all that to say is that, youknow, be careful and keep your
eyes open and, you know, payattention to the smallest of

(08:21):
signs.
Because that's what I didn't do.
I missed the signs, but then Ithink back.
Maybe I saw some signs, becauseyou know, it's like.
Now I think back and I'm like,wait a minute, is that why they
said that?
Is that why she acted like that?

(08:41):
Is that why they were doingthat?
It makes you think after thefact.
Right, you reflect, so yeah, soyeah, just keep your eyes open
and just know that who you are,and if you're someone like me

(09:07):
that loves deeply for the peoplethat you say you love and you
care about, and you're loyal tothose people, everybody's not
going to be like you.
And I had to learn that Ireally did, yeah, and so now I
have to let that go.
I have to let go of the guilt,the pressure to stay connected

(09:33):
just because it's family,because family should never feel
like an emotional warfare,never.
So start honoring the people whoshow up for you with pure love,
the ones who don't need to berelated to feel, you know,

(09:55):
responsible for your peace, theones who celebrate your growth
without competition.
Those are the people God sentto cover you.
Okay, because chosen familywith the same last name.
Yeah, with the same last name.
Yeah, because the people thatyou, you know you didn't get to

(10:25):
choose these people with thesame last name, but the chosen
family, the ones that you choseto have, and you say these are
the people that I want to haveas my family, your chosen family
.
See, that's sacred, that'shealing and that's real love.
That's real love.
They don't need to be bloodrelated.

(10:46):
Okay, they don't.
They don't.
You don't have to grow up withthem, you know, you know.
So you don't have to grow upwith them, you know.
So keep that in mind.
So, if you have been feelingheavy about family dynamics, if

(11:09):
you've been questioning whycertain people can't love you
the way that you love them,remember this you didn't lose
them.
People can't love you the waythat you love them.
Remember this you didn't losethem.
They lost access to your light,okay, and in this season, I

(11:30):
need you to protect your peace,even from the people who raised
you, who you grew up with, whoyou share your last name with,
okay.
Who you grew up with, who youshare your last name with, okay.
So I'm your host, k Love, yourcertified matchmaker and love
advisor, and this has been Love,our Talks.
And make sure you share thisepisode with someone who needs
to hear it, because so manypeople are out here hurting in

(11:52):
silence and won't talk about itor admit it.
Okay, they won't admit.
That's what they're goingthrough.
Sometimes it can beembarrassing, sometimes it can
hurt too bad to even speak aboutit out loud.
But again, I am here, I am yourhost, I am your love advisor.

(12:16):
You can reach out to me.
You can find me on all yourplatforms, okay, all your social
media platforms.
Send me a DM and if you want totalk about it, let's do that.
Okay, and until next time, takecare of your heart and honor
the love that honors you All.
Right Bye.