“She’s Not Your Friend, Sis… She’s Your Frenemy”

Have you ever felt that nagging suspicion about a friend who smiles to your face but somehow leaves you feeling drained? That uneasy feeling isn't paranoia—it's your intuition alerting you to a frenemy in your circle.

We've all experienced them: the so-called friends who clap when you succeed but with such lukewarm energy you can almost hear their eyes rolling. The ones who show up readily for your struggles but mysteriously disappear during your victories. The friends who copy your style, ideas, or projects without ever acknowledging you as their inspiration. These aren't coincidences—they're signs of someone who benefits from your connection but doesn't truly celebrate your growth.

This episode breaks down the nine warning signs that someone might be your frenemy, shares personal experiences with fake friendships, and offers practical strategies for protecting your energy without creating unnecessary drama. We explore why some people operate this way—from deep-seated insecurity to an unhealthy competitive mindset—and why it's essential to trust your instincts when something feels off. The most impactful advice? "Stop telling your business to everybody. Not everyone who listens to you is rooting for you."

Ready to clean up your circle and invest in relationships that actually fill your cup instead of draining it? Listen now, and join our conversation about navigating the complex world of friendships versus frenemies. Your peace of mind depends on surrounding yourself with people who genuinely want to see you win. Have you experienced a frenemy relationship? Share your story in the comments or DM me—let's talk about it!

We would LOVE to hear from you!

Thank you joining  Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, loves, welcome back to Love Our Talks, where
the podcast, where we bring allthings juicy Love, dating,
entertainment, wellness you knowwe got it all okay All over
here, so you know what we areback.
Like I said, and as we begin toclose out almost the last part

(00:20):
of the series, the six partseries we've been talking about
with friendships, girlsisterhoods, relationships,
family, everything.
I just want to make sure youunderstand what friendships can
do and how it can leave alasting effects.

(00:42):
So on today's topic.
So on today's topic, she's notyour friend sis, she's your
frenemy.
Yeah, I said that.
Yeah, she's not your friend sis, she's your frenemy.
We're talking about somethingwe all need to keep an eye out
for the frenemy, you knowexactly what I mean the
so-called friend who smiles inyour face but secretly hates on

(01:05):
you behind your back.
The one who claps for you inpublic but rolls their eyes in
private.
And the one who acts like youknow they're rooting for you but
deep down you know they want tosee you fail and fall flat on
your face.
So let's be real.
Some of the biggest hatersdon't come from strangers.

(01:27):
They come disguised as friendsand the worst part by the time
you realize it, they've alreadydone the damage.
So today, like I said, we'reexposing the signs of a frenemy.
So today, like I said, we'reexposing the signs of a frenemy,
breaking down why they do whatthey do and, most importantly,

(01:56):
how to protect yourself from thefake love that's really just
low-key envy.
So you know what?
Go ahead, grab your wine,coffee, tea, smoothie, drink of
choice, because I got mine.
And today, yeah, we're talkingabout the wolves in sheep's
clothing frenemies.
So what exactly is a frenemy,you ask?

(02:16):
I'm glad you did.
So let's start with this.
A frenemy is someone whopretends to be your friend but
secretly harbors jealousy,competition or even resentment
towards you.
They move like they're in yourcorner, but the truth is they're
waiting for your downfall.
And frenemies, you know, ain'talways easy to spot.

(02:41):
Always easy to spot.
Some of them play the role sowell you don't realize they were
never really for you until,like, literally, it's too late.
Literally, it's too late.
So the signs that you need tolook out for that you're dealing
with a frenemy.
Yeah, let's talk about thatBecause, trust me, once you know

(03:08):
what to look for, you'll startrecognizing them real quick.
So, number one she getsuncomfortable when you talk
about your wins.
So it's like you start sharinggood news and suddenly she goes
quiet.
No smile, no genuine excitement, just dry.
Y'all know the dry ass type.
Yeah, dry, like oh, that's cool.

(03:31):
Or she flips the conversationback to her, or she knows a
friend, or I know this person.
She did the same thing.
Mm-hmm, yeah, a real friendcelebrates you loud.
A frenemy gets real low energywhen the spotlight is not on
them.
Yeah, number two she copies youbut never gives you credit.

(03:58):
You ever notice how she startsdoing what you do after you do
it.
Mm-hmm, you launch something.
She launches something.
You show up with a new look.
She's mirroring your same stylethe next week, but she'll never

(04:18):
say it.
Mm-mm Like.
She'll never say girl, youinspired me.
No, she moves like she thoughtof it first.
That's not admiration, that'ssilent envy.
Come on, come on.
Number three let's call thethird one.
She always has somethingnegative to say.

(04:40):
Oh my gosh, the moment youshare a win, here comes the
shady comment you get apromotion and she's like they
didn't even pay well over therein the first place.
You post your man right Onsocial media and she's like I

(05:01):
hope he's not like the last oneand I hope it lasts this time.
And she's like I hope it's notlike the last one and I hope it
lasts this time.
Or you know, like everythingcomes with a little jab dressed
up as keeping it real.
But don't get it twisted, thatis hate in disguise.
For real, that's what it is.

(05:21):
The fourth thing is she shows upfor your struggles but not your
success.
Because the thing is, she'sfront row when you're down bad,
you know, texting, calling,showing concern.
But when you're glowing, whenyou're winning, suddenly she's
too busy.
That's because your pain makesher feel needed, but your

(05:45):
progress makes her feel, guesswhat?
Insecure, insecure, yeah, Isaid that.
The fifth thing is she'stwo-faced in different spaces
Mm-hmm, one-on-one, she's alllove.
But get around a group and sheswitches up real quick,
downplays your bond, tries toone-up you, throws little jabs

(06:07):
to make herself look better.
That's fake energy.
Real friends are consistent, nomatter who's in the room.
Sixth thing is she checks injust to compare.
She ain't calling to supportyou.
She calling to scope you out,asking how things are going, not

(06:29):
out of love, but to see whereshe stands next to you.
It's not genuine concern, it'squiet competition.
It's not genuine concern, it'squiet competition.
And, baby, you don't need tocompete with someone who
shouldn't even be clapping.

(06:49):
The seventh thing is she triesto keep you humble.
You're finally feeling yourself, right, you know, stepping into
your own confidence.
And here she comes.
And don't forget where you camefrom, girl, you doing way too
much.
You just sis why.
You know, like, why is my glowup making you uncomfortable?

(07:12):
Like, answer that why do I haveto dim my light for you to
shine?
No, we can both shine at thesame time.
Okay, I ain't trying to rhyme,but you know.
Whatever, all right.
The eighth thing is her supportalways feels conditional.
So the thing is she'll showlove, but only if she's getting

(07:36):
something out of it.
If the attention's not mutual,she falls back, and if you're
doing better than her, shedisappears.
That's not a friend, that'ssomeone keeping score, and we
don't do scoreboards in realsisterhood.
Last but not least, you feeldrained after interacting with

(07:59):
her.
I mean, you ever get off thephone or walk away from a convo
with her and feel emotionallyoff, like heavy Girl that shows
spirit, talking to you and realfriendships fill your cup.
A friend of me leaves youquestioning your worth and you
feel empty.
Okay, she done, took everythingyou got out that cup baby.

(08:23):
So yeah, you know I mean mypersonal story.
You know always got to go therewith my little personal journey
.
Y'all already know that.
And let me tell you somethingI've had my fair share of
frenemies.
One situation in particularsticks with me.

(08:45):
I had this friend I rode for,supported and genuinely wanted
to see win right.
But over time I startednoticing little things.
Whenever something goodhappened for me, she got real
distant, and if I shared an idea, she'd suddenly have one too,
or I gotta one-up you.

(09:06):
And one day I found out she hadbeen talking about me behind my
back for months, spreading lies, downplaying my accomplishment
and even trying to turn peopleagainst me.
And that's when I realized thiswasn't my friend, this was my

(09:30):
competition.
And I never even signed up tocompete for anything, even
signed up to compete foranything.
And you know, the day I walkedaway from that so-called
friendship was the day I trulyfreed myself from all that.

(09:52):
Yeah.
So why don't frenemies exist?
Why do people even act likethis?
Why pretend to be someone'sfriend Like deep down you're in
if deep down you're envious?
So here's some things that I'velearned right.

(10:12):
One thing is insecurity runsdeep.
You know, a lot of frenemiesdon't actually hate you.
They hate themselves for notbeing where they want to be in
life.
Instead of working onthemselves, they rather try to
tear you down and keep you onthat level.
Another thing is they thrive oncompetition.
Some people are just so used tocompeting with others that they

(10:33):
don't know how to just be happyfor someone.
They see life as a race, and ifyou're ahead, that means
they're losing.
And the last thing here is theywant access to your energy.
Yes, frenemies don't want tolose you completely.

(10:57):
They want to lose youcompletely.
They want to stay close enoughto see what you're doing, but
not close enough to actuallyroot for you.
Yeah, so the thing is, I'mgoing to show you, tell you how
to you can protect yourself fromthese frenemies, right?
Because, um, yeah, you need todo that.

(11:22):
You need to do that.
Let's talk about how to protectyourself from that.
Pay attention to your energyshifts.
If you feel like something isoff, it probably is.
Trust that vibe and stoptelling your business to
everybody.
Not everybody who listens toyou is rooting for you.
Hear me again Stop telling yourbusiness to everybody.

(11:43):
Not everyone who listens to youis rooting for you.
Move in silence and let yoursuccess speak for itself.
Distance yourself without drama.
You don't have to call someoneout or have a big falling out.
Just start pulling back slowly.
Stop sharing everything withthem, stop giving them access to

(12:07):
your wins.
Let them phase themselves out.
Yeah, and find your real tribeof girls, your friends, true
friends, who never make you feelsmall.
Surround yourself with peoplewho genuinely want to see you
win, that genuinely want to seeyou win.

(12:28):
Even when you call them,they're excited to be on the
phone with you.
You can literally feel theenergy over the phone.
You know that's a true,exciting friendship.
Okay, y'all, I know this episodehit home for some of y'all,
right, because frenemies theyare out here and I know you've

(12:50):
had some.
But once you know what to lookfor, you can stop wasting your
energy on fake love and startpouring into the people who
truly got you.
So tell me this have you everhad a frenemy?
Yeah, and what was the momentyou knew they really wasn't for

(13:10):
you?
I want you to drop a comment,dm me, email me.
Let's talk about it and do me afavor If you know someone
dealing with a fake friend, sendthem this episode, because
nobody deserves to keep a snakein their circle.
All right, so until next time,protect your energy, keep
growing, keep glowing, nevershrinking.

(13:33):
Okay, as always, I'll see youon the next episode of Love, our
Talks.
I am your host, K Love, andagain, you can find us on all
streaming platforms, okay,whether it's iHeart Radio,
itunes, spotify all of thestreaming platforms, okay.

(13:55):
And don't forget, if you are ina relationship and you're
struggling, you need answers.
You don't understand why yourperson is not communicating well
with you, but you really lovethem, and things of that nature.
Again, I'm an author and Icreate two books, one being Love

(14:19):
Secret Code Unlocking theMysteries to Relationships, and
the other one is called LoveSecret Playbook Okay, the Guide
to Winning at Love.
Both of those books are onAmazon.
You can definitely go and grabthem.
Love Secret Playbook it is aworkbook.
It's a guide to help you ifyou're struggling.

(14:40):
It helps you, guides you withit, gives you affirmations to
help you build confidence.
It also helps you understandwhat dating is about, how
prepared to date Mentally you'regetting prepared and also, when
you're in the relationship,things you need to start talking

(15:00):
about.
Tips, advice it's all in thatbook.
You do the work in that book,go check it out.
It is definitely one to have inyour possession.
Okay, well, thank you again.
And oh, before I go, before Igo, you know, I want to say that
each day holds a promise of anew beginning.

(15:22):
So be better, do better andlove harder than the day before.
Your best days aren't behindyou.
They're being written today.
So keep moving forward, becauseyour potential is limitless.
All right, love you guys.
Bye.