February 14, 2025 • 14 mins
Sisterhood is supposed to be a sacred space of unwavering support and shared joy, but what happens when that bond turns brittle, and the very people who once cheered you on start resenting your success? This is a question I've grappled with for years, rooted in personal experiences of betrayal and shifting dynamics in friendships. Sharing my journey, I hope to resonate with those who've felt the sting of a sisterhood gone sour. You know that moment when the energy shifts, and the congratulations turn into a mere "oh, that's nice"? It's a pattern I've seen repeatedly, marking a transition from genuine camaraderie to cold indifference.
Join me, K-Love, as I unpack the emotional weight of these betrayals and the silent cracks that can form in even the strongest of friendships. Grab your drink of choice, settle in, and let's get into some real talk about when sisterhood turns sour.
We would LOVE to hear from you!
Thank you joining Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, loves, welcome to another episode of Love, our
Talks, the podcast where we diveinto all things juicy about
love, dating, relationships,entertainment and wellness.
Look, I'm your host, k-love,and today, you know, we are
diving into a good, good topictoday, and it is called when
(00:24):
Sisterhood Turns Sour.
You know, man, I've beenwanting to talk about this for
quite some time, and it's beenyears, right?
This is something that I'vedealt with, this is something
that I've experienced, right,and I'm sure you can relate.
So I want you to grab your wine, coffee, tea, smoothie or
(00:51):
whatever your drink of choice is, and sit back and relax,
because today we're getting intosome real talk.
And this one right here, ohbaby, this one has been sitting,
like I said, heavy on my heartfor years and I think it's
overdue.
Let me go ahead and talk aboutit.
So, you know, I want to talkabout something that, like I
(01:17):
said, I know a lot of women canrelate to, but you know, they
don't always say out loud.
When friendships, especiallythose deep sisterhood type
friendships, turn sour, you know, when the support turns into
shade, when the smiles don'tquite reach the eyes anymore,
right, and when you realize theperson you once called your best
(01:41):
friend is no longer rooting foryou.
Instead, they're sitting backwatching you move forward and
low-key resenting you for it.
You know this episode ispersonal because I've lived this
.
I have been betrayed by morewomen than any man I've ever
(02:01):
known.
And that's just real.
I'm just being honest.
I'm just being honest and youknow it does sadden me, but I
know.
You know you got to keep moving, you got to keep living life
and you got to keep it goingRight.
So, like I said, let's be real.
Women's friendships aresupposed to be right, supposed
(02:24):
to be this sacred thing right.
The ride or die the girl like Igot you, no matter what.
You know we hype each other up,we cry together, we laugh until
we just can't breathe.
And then you know, one daysomething shifts, and maybe you
don't even notice it at first,but slowly you start seeing the
(02:47):
cracks.
It starts with a vibe, like anenergy that feels.
You know it just feelsdifferent.
You know you shared good newswith them and instead of
excitement you get a drive oh,that's cool.
You know you hit a milestoneand instead of a celebration you
(03:11):
get silence.
You sense the change, but youdon't want to believe it, until
one day that mask falls off andyou realize this person.
They ain't happy for you.
They're mad, you're growing.
They're mad, you're growing.
(03:33):
You know, like I said, I'veexperienced this and I've been
going through this for over 10years.
I've had best friends, womenthat I've trusted, women I let
into my life, into my heart, mydreams, my struggles, who, like
the minute they saw me advancing, started acting different.
(03:54):
They saw me advancing, startedacting different.
And I'm not talking about oneor two friendships, I'm talking
about a pattern I kept seeingover and over again.
And let me tell y'all about onesituation that really stuck
with me.
You know it's just one story.
You know I had this friend, mysis, right, or at least that's
(04:15):
what I thought.
You know we's just one story.
You know I had this friend, mysis, right, or at least that's
what I thought.
You know we did everythingtogether.
We talked on the phone aboutevery day for hours, okay,
supported each other, showed upfor each other.
But the moment I started makingmoves, the moment my life
started shifting in a direction,she wasn't ready for Baby.
(04:36):
When I tell you, the energychanged quick and I remember
sharing an achievement with her.
You know something I had beenworking hard for Something I was
proud of, and you know what Igot in return?
Not a congrats, not a girl.
I'm so proud of you.
(04:57):
No, it was not that.
It was just a call oh that'snice.
She hit me with the oh that'snice, oh, that's nice, Okay.
And I felt that Because when youlove someone, you ride for them
, and you know when somethingain't right.
(05:18):
So over time she got moredistant.
She stopped supporting, startmaking little passive,
aggressive comments, you know,start acting like my success was
a personal attack on her andeventually we drifted apart and
she just disappeared noexplanation, no real falling out
(05:39):
, no reason to fall out, justgone.
And that you know y'all.
That hurt, that hurt big time.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
So what I want to talk about isyou know why this happens?
Jealousy, competition andoutgrowing friendships about?
Is you know why this happens?
Jealousy, competition andoutgrowing friendships?
Why do friendships that startwith so much love and support
(06:01):
turn into jealousy andresentment?
See what I think is you know?
Number one it's like some womendon't know how to be happy for
you when they're unhappy withthemselves.
Right, and a lot of times itain't even about you, it's about
them when someone isn't securein their own journey.
(06:22):
Watching you level up makesthem feel like they're falling
behind and instead of using thatas a motivation, they start
resenting you for it.
Another thing is some peoplefeel abandoned when you grow.
Not everyone is meant to gowhere you're going.
That's facts.
But that don't stop them fromfeeling some type of way right
(06:46):
when you leave them behind.
See, some people getcomfortable with who you used to
be, mm-hmm.
And when you start changing,when you start growing, they
take it personal, like yourgrowth is a rejection of them.
And that ain't even the case,boo.
(07:06):
That's not even the problem,but that's how they feel.
And another thing is, you know,women have been conditioned to
compete instead of uplift.
That's been society for years,pitting women against each other
, making us believe that there'sonly so much success, so much
(07:29):
happiness and so much love to goaround.
So, instead of seeing your winas proof that it's possible all
of us could do this, they see itas a threat, like you took
something that could have beentheirs, you know, and that
mindset, that mindset is whatruins friendships.
Yeah, so what I've learned isthat you know I got to start
(07:56):
start protecting my peace, so Isuggest you do the same.
And in that, what do you do?
How do you deal with the painof losing friendships you
thought would last forever?
How do you deal with that?
You know, one thing isrecognizing the signs early.
You know if you feel a shift inenergy, pay attention to that,
(08:19):
don't ignore it and don't makeexcuses for it either, because
your intuition, it's not lyingto you at all.
You know how they say women'sintuition.
Trust and believe your gutfeeling.
Okay, yeah, trust that.
And then another thing is stoptrying to fix a one sided
friendship.
If you're the only one clapping, supporting or showing up, it's
(08:43):
time to step back, becausefriendships should be mutual.
It's nothing solo about that atall.
Another thing is be okay withoutgrowing people Because, like
I said, everybody ain't meant tocome with you on your journey
of leveling up, and that's okay.
(09:04):
Growth requires letting gosometimes.
And here's the last thing, likeI said, protect your peace.
Not every friendship deserves aconfrontation.
You don't have to be all in aphase saying certain things to
them.
And why are you doing this andmaking it a whole thing?
(09:25):
Sometimes the best thing youcan do is walk away, just
quietly walk away.
And you do still wish them wellin life from a distance.
You just have to.
You can love from a distanceand that's okay.
Yes, man y'all.
(09:47):
Like I said, this one has beenheavy.
This was a heavy one, but ifyou have been through this, if
you've lost friendships that youthought would last forever,
just know this you are not aloneand you don't have to shrink
yourself to keep people around,the right people, I mean the
real ones.
They will never be threatenedby your growth or your success.
(10:12):
And I want to hear from you, youknow, because, like I said, I'm
not the only one that's gonethrough this, and if you've
experienced this too, have you,you know, let me know.
If you lost a best friend, okay, and how are you dealing with
it?
How did you handle it when youwere leveling up, when you were
(10:35):
growing right?
How did they handle yoursuccess?
So, whether you DM us, dm theshow, and let me, let's talk
about this, let's talk.
You know, I want to hear yoursuccess.
So, whether you DM us, dm theshow, and let me, let's talk
about this, let's talk.
You know, I want to hear yourcomments, you know, like I said,
and another thing is share thiswith somebody else who might
want to hear this or who needsto hear this?
Because, I promise you,somebody out there is going
through it right now.
(10:55):
Because, I promise you,somebody out there is going
through it right now the samething and wondering if it's just
me and sis, it ain't just you.
It's not All right.
So until next time, take careof yourself, protect your energy
as well and keep growing.
Don't let nobody stop you fromthat.
Don't shrink yourself.
Don't let nobody stop you fromdoing it.
(11:16):
Okay, so, all right, and thatwraps up today's episode.
You want to come back and checkout our next episode, because
we're going to, like I said,we're going to continue this.
This is a six parts, this is aseries, and it's six parts to
this, with this whole seriesabout sisterhood and how things
have turned sour, howfriendships have gone bad.
(11:38):
Come back, because we have moreto talk about.
So we'll have five moreepisodes to do with this series.
Okay, I just wanted to make itquick, you know like not long
and drawn out, so I just did six, okay, so definitely come back
so that you, you know, you canget more information, we can
talk more about this and if youenjoyed this episode, please
(12:00):
subscribe and leave a comment,like I said, leave a review and
share this with someone else.
You can find us on Spotify,iTunes, iheartradio, google
Podcasts and, of course,facebook, google Podcasts and,
of course, facebook.
And, real quick, if you don'tknow that, love Secret Code
(12:21):
Unlocking the Mysteries toRelationships is out right now.
It's been out since last year.
So go ahead, grab your copytoday.
You can grab your copy attheloveplacenet.
That's your paperback copy.
You can also do the e If youdon't want to get the paperback,
the ebook is there as well,theloveplacenet, and we're also
(12:46):
selling the paperback book onAmazon.
So if you shop Amazon, amazonPrime, you can grab it there and
you'll get it in two days.
Okay, so go ahead and grab thatbook Love's Secret Code
Unlocking the Mysteries toRelationships.
But I'm not done yet, becausewe have more exciting news
coming your way with our secondinstallment of Love's Secret
(13:10):
series.
Okay, so it will be out thismonth.
It is called Love's SecretPlaybook the Guide to Winning at
Love.
Oh my gosh, I am so excitedabout this new one.
Y'all, I am beyond, I'm overthe moon Excited about the new
book, love's Secret Playbook,because this one is amazing.
(13:33):
It's covering everything inthis book.
It is 100 pages y'all, so thisis one that you don't want to
miss.
You need this book, okay?
So I want to thank you all forjoining me today and until next
time we love our talks.
I'm your host, kayla, andremember each day holds the
(13:53):
promise of a new beginning, sobe better, do better, love
harder than the day before,because your best days aren't
behind you.
They're being written today.
So keep moving forward, becauseyour potential is limitless.
All right, love you guys.
Bye.
Hey, loves, welcome to another episode of Love, our
Talks, the podcast where we diveinto all things juicy about
love, dating, relationships,entertainment and wellness.
Look, I'm your host, k-love,and today, you know, we are
diving into a good, good topictoday, and it is called when
(00:24):
Sisterhood Turns Sour.
You know, man, I've beenwanting to talk about this for
quite some time, and it's beenyears, right?
This is something that I'vedealt with, this is something
that I've experienced, right,and I'm sure you can relate.
So I want you to grab your wine, coffee, tea, smoothie or
(00:51):
whatever your drink of choice is, and sit back and relax,
because today we're getting intosome real talk.
And this one right here, ohbaby, this one has been sitting,
like I said, heavy on my heartfor years and I think it's
overdue.
Let me go ahead and talk aboutit.
So, you know, I want to talkabout something that, like I
(01:17):
said, I know a lot of women canrelate to, but you know, they
don't always say out loud.
When friendships, especiallythose deep sisterhood type
friendships, turn sour, you know, when the support turns into
shade, when the smiles don'tquite reach the eyes anymore,
right, and when you realize theperson you once called your best
(01:41):
friend is no longer rooting foryou.
Instead, they're sitting backwatching you move forward and
low-key resenting you for it.
You know this episode ispersonal because I've lived this
.
I have been betrayed by morewomen than any man I've ever
(02:01):
known.
And that's just real.
I'm just being honest.
I'm just being honest and youknow it does sadden me, but I
know.
You know you got to keep moving, you got to keep living life
and you got to keep it goingRight.
So, like I said, let's be real.
Women's friendships aresupposed to be right, supposed
(02:24):
to be this sacred thing right.
The ride or die the girl like Igot you, no matter what.
You know we hype each other up,we cry together, we laugh until
we just can't breathe.
And then you know, one daysomething shifts, and maybe you
don't even notice it at first,but slowly you start seeing the
(02:47):
cracks.
It starts with a vibe, like anenergy that feels.
You know it just feelsdifferent.
You know you shared good newswith them and instead of
excitement you get a drive oh,that's cool.
You know you hit a milestoneand instead of a celebration you
(03:11):
get silence.
You sense the change, but youdon't want to believe it, until
one day that mask falls off andyou realize this person.
They ain't happy for you.
They're mad, you're growing.
They're mad, you're growing.
(03:33):
You know, like I said, I'veexperienced this and I've been
going through this for over 10years.
I've had best friends, womenthat I've trusted, women I let
into my life, into my heart, mydreams, my struggles, who, like
the minute they saw me advancing, started acting different.
(03:54):
They saw me advancing, startedacting different.
And I'm not talking about oneor two friendships, I'm talking
about a pattern I kept seeingover and over again.
And let me tell y'all about onesituation that really stuck
with me.
You know it's just one story.
You know I had this friend, mysis, right, or at least that's
(04:15):
what I thought.
You know we's just one story.
You know I had this friend, mysis, right, or at least that's
what I thought.
You know we did everythingtogether.
We talked on the phone aboutevery day for hours, okay,
supported each other, showed upfor each other.
But the moment I started makingmoves, the moment my life
started shifting in a direction,she wasn't ready for Baby.
(04:36):
When I tell you, the energychanged quick and I remember
sharing an achievement with her.
You know something I had beenworking hard for Something I was
proud of, and you know what Igot in return?
Not a congrats, not a girl.
I'm so proud of you.
(04:57):
No, it was not that.
It was just a call oh that'snice.
She hit me with the oh that'snice, oh, that's nice, Okay.
And I felt that Because when youlove someone, you ride for them
, and you know when somethingain't right.
(05:18):
So over time she got moredistant.
She stopped supporting, startmaking little passive,
aggressive comments, you know,start acting like my success was
a personal attack on her andeventually we drifted apart and
she just disappeared noexplanation, no real falling out
(05:39):
, no reason to fall out, justgone.
And that you know y'all.
That hurt, that hurt big time.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
So what I want to talk about isyou know why this happens?
Jealousy, competition andoutgrowing friendships about?
Is you know why this happens?
Jealousy, competition andoutgrowing friendships?
Why do friendships that startwith so much love and support
(06:01):
turn into jealousy andresentment?
See what I think is you know?
Number one it's like some womendon't know how to be happy for
you when they're unhappy withthemselves.
Right, and a lot of times itain't even about you, it's about
them when someone isn't securein their own journey.
(06:22):
Watching you level up makesthem feel like they're falling
behind and instead of using thatas a motivation, they start
resenting you for it.
Another thing is some peoplefeel abandoned when you grow.
Not everyone is meant to gowhere you're going.
That's facts.
But that don't stop them fromfeeling some type of way right
(06:46):
when you leave them behind.
See, some people getcomfortable with who you used to
be, mm-hmm.
And when you start changing,when you start growing, they
take it personal, like yourgrowth is a rejection of them.
And that ain't even the case,boo.
(07:06):
That's not even the problem,but that's how they feel.
And another thing is, you know,women have been conditioned to
compete instead of uplift.
That's been society for years,pitting women against each other
, making us believe that there'sonly so much success, so much
(07:29):
happiness and so much love to goaround.
So, instead of seeing your winas proof that it's possible all
of us could do this, they see itas a threat, like you took
something that could have beentheirs, you know, and that
mindset, that mindset is whatruins friendships.
Yeah, so what I've learned isthat you know I got to start
(07:56):
start protecting my peace, so Isuggest you do the same.
And in that, what do you do?
How do you deal with the painof losing friendships you
thought would last forever?
How do you deal with that?
You know, one thing isrecognizing the signs early.
You know if you feel a shift inenergy, pay attention to that,
(08:19):
don't ignore it and don't makeexcuses for it either, because
your intuition, it's not lyingto you at all.
You know how they say women'sintuition.
Trust and believe your gutfeeling.
Okay, yeah, trust that.
And then another thing is stoptrying to fix a one sided
friendship.
If you're the only one clapping, supporting or showing up, it's
(08:43):
time to step back, becausefriendships should be mutual.
It's nothing solo about that atall.
Another thing is be okay withoutgrowing people Because, like
I said, everybody ain't meant tocome with you on your journey
of leveling up, and that's okay.
(09:04):
Growth requires letting gosometimes.
And here's the last thing, likeI said, protect your peace.
Not every friendship deserves aconfrontation.
You don't have to be all in aphase saying certain things to
them.
And why are you doing this andmaking it a whole thing?
(09:25):
Sometimes the best thing youcan do is walk away, just
quietly walk away.
And you do still wish them wellin life from a distance.
You just have to.
You can love from a distanceand that's okay.
Yes, man y'all.
(09:47):
Like I said, this one has beenheavy.
This was a heavy one, but ifyou have been through this, if
you've lost friendships that youthought would last forever,
just know this you are not aloneand you don't have to shrink
yourself to keep people around,the right people, I mean the
real ones.
They will never be threatenedby your growth or your success.
(10:12):
And I want to hear from you, youknow, because, like I said, I'm
not the only one that's gonethrough this, and if you've
experienced this too, have you,you know, let me know.
If you lost a best friend, okay, and how are you dealing with
it?
How did you handle it when youwere leveling up, when you were
(10:35):
growing right?
How did they handle yoursuccess?
So, whether you DM us, dm theshow, and let me, let's talk
about this, let's talk.
You know, I want to hear yoursuccess.
So, whether you DM us, dm theshow, and let me, let's talk
about this, let's talk.
You know, I want to hear yourcomments, you know, like I said,
and another thing is share thiswith somebody else who might
want to hear this or who needsto hear this?
Because, I promise you,somebody out there is going
through it right now.
(10:55):
Because, I promise you,somebody out there is going
through it right now the samething and wondering if it's just
me and sis, it ain't just you.
It's not All right.
So until next time, take careof yourself, protect your energy
as well and keep growing.
Don't let nobody stop you fromthat.
Don't shrink yourself.
Don't let nobody stop you fromdoing it.
(11:16):
Okay, so, all right, and thatwraps up today's episode.
You want to come back and checkout our next episode, because
we're going to, like I said,we're going to continue this.
This is a six parts, this is aseries, and it's six parts to
this, with this whole seriesabout sisterhood and how things
have turned sour, howfriendships have gone bad.
(11:38):
Come back, because we have moreto talk about.
So we'll have five moreepisodes to do with this series.
Okay, I just wanted to make itquick, you know like not long
and drawn out, so I just did six, okay, so definitely come back
so that you, you know, you canget more information, we can
talk more about this and if youenjoyed this episode, please
(12:00):
subscribe and leave a comment,like I said, leave a review and
share this with someone else.
You can find us on Spotify,iTunes, iheartradio, google
Podcasts and, of course,facebook, google Podcasts and,
of course, facebook.
And, real quick, if you don'tknow that, love Secret Code
(12:21):
Unlocking the Mysteries toRelationships is out right now.
It's been out since last year.
So go ahead, grab your copytoday.
You can grab your copy attheloveplacenet.
That's your paperback copy.
You can also do the e If youdon't want to get the paperback,
the ebook is there as well,theloveplacenet, and we're also
(12:46):
selling the paperback book onAmazon.
So if you shop Amazon, amazonPrime, you can grab it there and
you'll get it in two days.
Okay, so go ahead and grab thatbook Love's Secret Code
Unlocking the Mysteries toRelationships.
But I'm not done yet, becausewe have more exciting news
coming your way with our secondinstallment of Love's Secret
(13:10):
series.
Okay, so it will be out thismonth.
It is called Love's SecretPlaybook the Guide to Winning at
Love.
Oh my gosh, I am so excitedabout this new one.
Y'all, I am beyond, I'm overthe moon Excited about the new
book, love's Secret Playbook,because this one is amazing.
(13:33):
It's covering everything inthis book.
It is 100 pages y'all, so thisis one that you don't want to
miss.
You need this book, okay?
So I want to thank you all forjoining me today and until next
time we love our talks.
I'm your host, kayla, andremember each day holds the
(13:53):
promise of a new beginning, sobe better, do better, love
harder than the day before,because your best days aren't
behind you.
They're being written today.
So keep moving forward, becauseyour potential is limitless.
All right, love you guys.
Bye.
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