July 2, 2026 • 42 mins
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As her Screen Time app will confirm, Vanessa spends way too much time online - so when trends involving math pop up, you can be sure she has commented, shared, ranted, and made her own version.
Sadly, most of these “trends” involve negative stereotypes around math ability. These cliches are also extremely gendered, specifically directed at women and girls.
So today she discusses 3 recent viral trends and what we can do to flip the script (click the links for examples):
- “I'm creative ... bc I suck at math"
- "I'm just pretending to do math - you’re the smart one"
- "I'm too pretty to do math"
Contact us:
- Vanessa Vakharia: Instagram, TikTok, Email
- Math Therapy: Text the Podcast
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Vanessa Vakharia (00:02):
Crying over math has become this shared
cultural experience in NorthAmerica.
Can we think about that?
A, a shared cultural experienceof crying over our math homework
as children?
Why have we normalized that?
This reel has gone viral, thistrend has gone viral not because
it's, like, an especially cleverjoke, but because millions of
people immediately recognizethemselves in it, If the shirt
(00:23):
said,"I'm too handsome to domath," it wouldn't be funny.
People would be like,"What?"Because there's no cultural
belief that like men orattractive men aren't also
intelligent, but there is forwomen, and that is just messed
up.
Hello, and welcome to thisweek's episode of Math Therapy,
(00:43):
which I'm recording from abeautiful motel room in
beautiful Bar Harbor, Maine.
Now, I've been on the road forthis past week, which means I've
been on Instagram a lot.
Every plane ride, every Uberride, every whatever ride, there
I am on my phone.
And that means that I havenoticed that something very
strange is going on because Ihave received multiple DMs about
(01:06):
multiple math trends, none ofwhich are very good.
You know, in 2010, I wrote amaster's thesis called Imagining
a World Where Paris Hilton LovesMath, and in that thesis, I
integrated an interdisciplinaryapproach involving feminist
theory, marketing theory, andmathematics education in order
to uncover, discover, you know,interrogate, explore, research,
(01:31):
figure out why and how media andpop culture actually make it
impossible for women to retaintheir identities while also
identifying as being good atmath.
I mean, you guys know that I'vesaid this a million times
before, and if you're new to thepodcast, I'm gonna ask you right
now, when's the last time yousaw a movie or TV show where the
cheerleader character was goodat math?
(01:54):
I say that because you'reprobably going to say,"Well,
never," because it has neverhappened.
Now, I will say there is acharacter in Mindy Kaling's Sex
Lives of College Girls,Leighton, and she is a
cheerleader who's good at math,but part of her whole, like,
character arc is that she hidesthat because she wants to be
cool, so, like, I don't evencount that.
Here's the real truth, isforever and ever and ever, we've
(02:17):
been sold this lie that womeneither need to be a certain way,
or they can't actually be goodat math or belong to the world
of mathematics.
And that certain way, by theway, usually has to do with
femininity.
They need to not be what weconsider traditionally feminine
in order to be good at math.
They can't wear makeup.
They can't, like, dress nicely.
(02:38):
They can't care about the waythey look.
They can't have social skills.
They can't have crushes.
They can't be in love.
Like, they can, but if they do,then they're gonna be given the
role in the movie or TV showthat's, like, the pretty,
popular girl, not the nerdy girlwho's good at math that needs a
makeover to get the guy.
Now, you might be thinking,"Vanessa, your master's thesis
was in 2010.
Everything's changed sincethen," and I would love to agree
(03:01):
with you.
I really would.
However, here we are a decadeand a half later, and I'm about
to share three viral math trendsfrom the last week that paint a
very different picture, and thepicture they paint is,"Oh, wow,
it's like it's 2010 again." Now,when these trends popped across
my feed, my first instinct was,"Okay, oh my God, can everyone
(03:24):
please stop doing this?
Can everyone please stop sharingthis?
Can these trends please stop?
Like, what are we doing?" I wasmad at the creators.
I was mad at the people whowere, like, emulating the
trends.
I was like,"Oh my God, you guysare just reinforcing all the
stereotypes." But then I startedreading the comments, and I was
like,"You know what?
This is a, like, don't hate theplayer, hate the game
(03:44):
situation," because it's not theindividuals who are sharing the
content or who are, like, in thecomments being like,"Oh my God,
I can relate," or the ones whoare copying the trends and
making them their own.
It's not entirely their fault,because the reason they are
latching onto these trends isbecause the trends are making
them feel seen, and I thinkthat's the bigger problem, is
(04:04):
that we have this collectivemalaise around mathematics and
like these trends are just abyproduct of that.
And like we have to stopignoring it.
We have to stop ignoring it, andwe have to figure out what to do
here So today, while I'm here tocriticize these trends, because
honestly I really am, I alsowanna unpack why they resonate
so deeply, what they're tellingus about our relationship with
(04:26):
math, and why I actually thinkthey're pointing us towards a
much bigger conversation aboutmath trauma.
And I do want to point out thesetrends all involve women.
They all involve women.
So I just have to say, I wantyou to look at this through this
lens of the fact that thesethree things I'm about to talk
about are specifically targetingwomen.
(04:49):
Ask yourself what kind ofmessage that's sending, what
purpose that serves, and howwe're gonna go about fixing this
whole situation that we foundourselves in, where yet again,
in 2026, women are still beingtold that they can't be
themselves and be good at math.
(05:09):
Now, before I get into the threetrends, if you're listening to
this right now and you're like,"Oh my God, this sounds like
it's gonna get really juicy," itis.
If you're also listening to thisright now being like,"I've been
seeing this stuff too, and I'vebeen telling my friends to stop
sharing it," or,"I've beenseeing this stuff too, and,
like, I don't know what to doabout it," the first thing you
can do is actually share thisepisode.
Share this episode right now,because the sooner we stop just
(05:31):
blindly kind of looking at thesetrends and scrolling by them,
and instead stopping, seeingthem for what they are, and
taking action, the sooner our,like, stratosphere, our feeds,
our, like, world, our- the noisearound us, the sooner that will
get cleaned up.
Because the truth is, when wehave stereotypes floating around
(05:51):
and we are constantly seeingstuff on our screens that
reinforces those stereotypes,those stereotypes get
normalized.
So the first thing you can do issend this episode to somebody
else right now so that they'reaware of them too, so that they
too can take the actions thatI'm gonna share at the end of
this episode.
All right.
Let's get into it Okay, viraltrend number one.
(06:12):
I have been sent this by so manypeople in so many different
forums.
At first...
Okay, so the first way thispopped across my feed is it was
a video of Gracie Bowers, whois, like, an amazing rock star,
and what the text said over herreel was,"You're so creative,"
in quotation marks, and then thenext set of quotation marks
(06:32):
said,"Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework." And then there's,
like, a video of her, like,rocking out on stage.
I saw this and I was like,"Oh myGod, poor Gracie.
I should get her on thepodcast." I didn't realize it
was a trend.
I thought she was just makingthis video.
But then I started getting itsent to me by more and more
people.
The next one was the exact samething,"You're so creative."
(06:53):
"Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework," and this was a
person, like, painting in thebackground.
Another one,"You're socreative.""Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework." This one was
somebody, like, painting a roomand, like, doing a whole floor
plan and designing a house.
And I was like,"Oh my God, thisis a trend.
It's a trend." And why do I knowthat?
Because on the third one Iwatched, there was a little
button I could press that said,"Use this template." And I was
(07:16):
like,"Oh my God, this is atemplate someone has made." So,
like, now, uh, people can justgo in and fill in their clips in
the backdrop, and the text willstay the same.
The text will keep saying,"You're so creative.""Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework." Oh my God.
Okay, so I have so many thoughtshere.
The first is, how many times dowe hear about people crying over
(07:38):
math homework?
It's always crying.
We're always crying over ourmath homework.
That actually really upsets mebecause I don't think that's
something that's made up.
I think that's a real experiencepeople share.
I think it was traumatizing forso many people, and it is
traumatizing, and I think thattrauma bond is really deep when
you see someone else post aboutit.
But the deeper thing here isthis idea of being creative
(08:00):
versus doing math.
The message of this trend seemsto be like,"Look at me now."
Like, someone's getting acompliment for how creative they
are, and they're, like, reallyproud, and they're like,"Thank
you so much for validating mebecause you know what?
Back in the day, I used to cryover my math homework." I'm
taking away two things, and I amactually curious.
Like, text the podcast if youhave another interpretation.
(08:21):
My interpretation is that themessage the reel is sending is,
number one, you're eithercreative or mathematical, right?
Like, these people are beingcelebrated because they're so
creative, and then they're like,"Thanks." Like,"I never needed
math anyway." And actually, alot of their captions will say,
"Never needed math anyway." Soit's kind of like this fuck you
(08:42):
to being like,"Yeah, I used tocry over my math homework, but,
like, look at me now." But,like, what bothers me is, like,
so many of these people in thevideos they've posted in these
reels are doing things thatinvolve math.
Like, es- the person who's,like, decorating the inside of
her home and painting the walls,I'm like, I--"You're using
math." I mean, Gracie Bower,like, a musician, you're using
(09:02):
math.
Like, you know, you're usingmath not only in your chord
progressions and your songstructures, but, like, uh,
you're a musician.
You're a, a, a business person.
Like, I know you're using mathin that sense.
But I also get it.
I'm not mad at them.
I'm just like, ugh, I knowwhat's happening here.
They're using math that wasn'ttraditionally evaluated in the
math classroom, and therefore itnever counted as real math.
(09:25):
You know, I find this, anytimesomeone says they suck at math,
what they really mean is,"I wasnot good at or was not made to
feel good at the math that I didin class, the math that was
evaluated in class." And that'sjust really depressing because
it shows, like, this whole vibeof we have so much work to do
with how we're definingmathematics, because everyone
(09:45):
posting this reel, you know,their assumption is they're do-
using no math in theirday-to-day life when they really
are, and yet again, I, we'rereinforcing that stereotype that
you're creative or good at math.
And on the flip side, they'reusing so much math, but on the
other hand, when we're doingmath, we are being so creative.
Solving math problems isinherently creative in nature,
(10:06):
right?
Like, I just Engineers areconstantly just coming up with
creative solutions.
They're like,"We could try this.
We could try that." When you'resolving a problem that you don't
know how to solve, that's whencreativity flourishes.
In fact, when we're solvingproblems that we know how to
solve or that we are told to usea specific formula for or to
just copy steps, you're right.
There is no creativity in that.
(10:26):
And again, this is not the faultof the people posting the reel.
That's probably how they weretaught math, in a very
uncreative way.
But math at its core iscreative.
You're supposed to not know howto solve the problem, and then
use creativity to figure it thefuck out.
Like, that's the whole thing.
So I feel like that's messagenumber one from this reel is
you're either creative or you'regood at math.
(10:47):
The other message I'm gettingfrom this reel is that giant,
like,"F you." You know?
It's that, like,"Thank you.
I am really creative.
I am good at something.
I used to cry over my mathhomework because I was made to
feel like I was dumb." That'sreally the vibe I'm getting,
especially from so many of thesecaptions.
And I think that again points tothis entire issue we have where,
like, we have positioned it sothat math is the thing that
(11:10):
makes you smart, so that whenkids don't know math, they feel
stupid, they feel unintelligent,they feel less worthy.
They struggle through schoolfeeling like they have no sense
of self.
And then, you know, in lateryears they find this thing
they're passionate about, andthey can look back and say,"See,
I was worth something.
Math was not the thing thatdefined me." And like fucking of
course it's not the thing thatdefines you.
(11:31):
But why do so many people feellike it is?
That's our fault.
I mean, not us, like the people,like, making the podcast, AKA
me, or listening to the podcast,you.
But it...
as a collective, that is ourfault.
What are we doing that is makingpeople identify so to a core
level with the fact that theywere bad at math?
What is happening here?
(11:51):
And you know what, guys?
Honestly, the comments justreaffirm how big of a feeling
this is.
I'm just gonna read some of themto you out now.
remember, this is a reel that'slike,"You're so creative."
"Thanks.
I used to cry over my mathhomework." People are simply
responding to the...
Like, people have latched ontothe,"I used to cry over my math
homework," and here are some ofthe comments:"Same, girl.""So it
(12:13):
wasn't just me.""Me too.""Literally.""You're not alone."
"Relatable AF.""I get it, girl,"broken heart emoji.
"OMG 100% relate.
I used to cry because I couldn'tsolve my maths homework." We get
this." Then someone commented,"You're either pretty or you can
do math," nail emoji.
Oh my fucking God.
(12:34):
"Same girl, same girl.""Literally.""Me too.""I used to
cry all the time.""This is sorelatable." A lot of crying
emojis.
Crying emoji, cry- Okay.
You get the picture.
The point is that there...
A- and you know what I have tosay?
Any time I see a reel oranything on Instagram about
someone being like,"I'm cryingover my math homework," or,"I
used to cry," it's hundreds,thousands of comments, guys,
(12:55):
thousands of comments of peoplebeing like,"Me too." And then
these s- horrible stories thatI'm just like,"Oh my God, math
trauma, math trauma, mathtrauma." Like people being like,
"My dad used to yell at me."Like,"I used to be up with my
parents till 3:00 AM.""Myteacher told me I was stu-" Like
it's like this endless thing.
So, like, crying over math hasbecome this shared cultural
experience in North America.
Can we think about that?
(13:15):
A, a shared cultural experienceof crying over our math homework
as children?
And this is the thing, this reelhas gone viral, this trend has
gone viral not because it's,like, an especially clever joke,
but because millions of peopleimmediately recognize themselves
in it, and I want us to thinkabout how strange that is.
Why have we normalized that?
If someone joked that, like,science homework left them in
tears for years or, like, theirhistory homework, like, was this
(13:38):
endless source of, like, painand grief every single day for
years, we'd be like,"What?
Oh, interesting." Like,"Tell memore about that." We'd probably
ask questions about it.
But with math, we're like,"Yep,me too." That's it, the end.
We don't even ask why.
It's like,"Yeah, of course." Thething is, this trend tells me
that we've normalized emotionalpain around math.
All these trends tell me that,actually.
(13:59):
We've stopped seeing thoseexperiences as something worth
unpacking, and it's justsomething to be like,"Yep, me
too.
I agree.
It's normal." It's normal, andthe solution is you say fuck it
to math, and you move on and dosomething non-mathematical with
the rest of your life, and thenlook back and try to heal from
years and years of not feelinggood enough from math.
(14:20):
Like, what?
What?
Like, why isn't theconversation,"Why did so many of
us have this experience?
Why is this a rite of passagegrowing up?" Like, it's
incredibly revealing, and ittells us we've become more
comfortable bonding over mathpain than questioning why so
many people experienced it inthe first place Now, I made a
(14:42):
reel to, like, try to combatthis, but I don't think I did a
great job explain- like, you'dhave to read the caption, but I
made a reel using this, and Iactually put my own videos of me
doing math.
So the reel says, like,"You'reso creative.""Thanks.
I used to cry doing mathhomework," and it's me doing
math in the background, and inthe caption I tried to unpack
it.
So you can check that out onInstagram if you wanna, like,
share that, uh, if you wannaread what I said in the caption,
(15:04):
if you want to, like, send thatto somebody who feels like
they're creative at theexclusion of math or vice versa.
So I've got that up there foryou.
Let's move on to the next trend.
Okay, the second trend that hasgone viral right now is
basically...
So the way the format works isyou post a video of you, like,
driving, chilling, doingwhatever, and then the text over
(15:24):
top says,"Please know that if weare ever in a situation where we
are both doing a math problem inour heads trying to figure
something out, I am pretendingand it's all on you." Okay.
Again, the comments are the samething.
The comments are people beinglike,"Yep, it's definitely on
you," or like,"That would neverbe me doing the math problem,"
or,"Math in my head?
(15:45):
LOL," or,"Math?
Who knows her?" Like, those areall the comments.
And on the surface, like, it'slike a joke about mental math.
Like, okay, fine, we're notdoing math in our heads, but
it's really not about that.
It's really not about that.
This gives me the impression,like, when I see this, I'm like,
okay, what is the takeaway here?
The takeaway to me is, again,this vibe of yeah, like, if
(16:08):
we're ever in a situation wherewe're both supposed to be doing
a math problem, just know thatI'm not doing it.
There's no way I'm doing mentalmath, period.
It's about confidence.
It's about identity.
It's about what we've learned tobelieve about ourselves, right?
Like, people aren't saying,"I'mout of practice," or like,"Let
me just get a piece of paper."Like, that wouldn't be very
clickbait, but like, do you knowwhat I mean?
They're saying,"I've acceptedthat somebody else should do
(16:31):
this.
I've accepted that the persondoing the math should not be
me." It's the classic, like,it's dinner time and the bill
comes, and we all pass the billto someone else to calculate the
tip.
Like, we're just like,"Oh, no,it shouldn't be me." It's a
bit...
it's giving learnedhelplessness.
Like, I know that seems, like,really dramatic, but it's kind
of giving learned helplessness,to be honest.
Somewhere along the way,millions of people have learned
(16:51):
that pretending was safer thantrying, and like, that's the
other thing about this reel,right?
They're basically sa- saying,"Ifwe're both stuck in a situation
where we're both, like, supposedto be solving a math problem,
know that I'm sitting therepretending I'm solving it.
But that's actually not what'shappening, and I'm actually
waiting for you to give me theanswer." And I think this just
shows us, again, anothercollective feeling that, like,
being wrong in math wasn't justuncomfortable for us, and it's
(17:14):
not just uncomfortable.
It's embarrassing.
It's exposing.
It's, like, proof that we're notsmart.
So, like, the best strategy ispretend you know what's going on
and let someone else answer.
And also, I, with these reels, Ithink it's like, make yourself
the joke first before someoneelse can do it, right?
Like, there's so much shameattached to it.
This is gonna seem completelyunrelated, but it's actually
(17:36):
not, and I'm gonna tell you guysa story.
I just finished visiting AcadiaNational Park.
Now, I've never been to anational park.
All right?
Like, I don't- I'm not, like, ahiker.
I'm not, like, a...
I, I mean, I like nature, but,like, you know, I've got my
limits.
But, you know, everyone talks,talks about this national park,
and there was supposed to bethis beach there.
And you guys know I'm overcomingmy fear of driving in the US and
(17:57):
driving rental cars, and, like,I have got my rental car.
I feel really good in it, and Iwas like, you know what?
Like, it's a beautiful day.
I wanna go on this adventure.
I wanna, like, go see the ocean.
So I go to this national park.
This place was insane.
It was insa- oh my God, guys.
I swear, I just looked up and Iswear there is a ma- oh my God.
Oh my God.
Okay, wait till you hear whatI'm about to tell you, and
(18:18):
you're gonna hear how TANC thatis.
And TANC, by the way, meansThere Are No Coincidences.
I have a tattoo to my rightbicep.
Okay, this is crazy.
This is crazy.
I wasn't even gonna tell thisstory, but now I have to.
I just looked up, and there is amap right in front of me.
Now, why is that TANC?
Well, because I go into thenational park.
(18:38):
I thought this park, like, Idon't know.
I thought it was gonna be, like,10 minutes to drive around the
whole thing.
This, this is a giant park.
I finally find the visitorcenter, and I'm like...
'Cause I'm like,"How am I gonnaknow where to find Sand Beach?"
That's apparently where theocean is.
And I'm like,"Oh, a sign for avisitor center.
That makes sense.
I'll go to the visitor centerand I'll, like, ask them what's
up." There are hundreds ofpeople here, okay?
Milling about with their hikinggear and their boots and their,
(19:00):
like, walking sticks.
I'm, like, cruising in.
I've got a, a shoulder tote bag,which, by the way, I've now
learned you should not bringhiking.
That is not a good idea.
Okay, fine.
Who cares?
I go to the visitor center.
I get in line to buy the parkpass, and I'm like,"Hey, Can you
recommend, like, what..."There's, like, a bunch of
different hikes, right?
There's, like, tons of hi- Idon't know how many, but, like,
50 different hikes and, like,trails.
(19:21):
I don't know.
Not 50, but, like, a lot.
I'm like,"Could you recommend,like, a hike that would be,
like, nice and easy and, like,around an ocean?" And the guy's
like,"Yeah, go on the Ocean WalkTrail." I'm like,"Great.
Could you show me where thatis?" He whips open a giant map.
Like, a giant map like you usedto use in, like, the'90s.
Like, a paper fucking map.
Like, this thing is, like,bigger than a newspaper.
(19:43):
And he's like,"All right, soyou're standing right here." And
he has his pen, right?
He's like,"You're standing righthere." Like, circles the thing.
And he's like,"You're just gonnapop over there, and then you're
gonna follow Route 3 to this,and then you're gonna turn left.
Then there's this hairpin turn."And he's circling this shit all
over the map, and I'm like,"Dude, I don't...
hold your...
Like, slow your roll." Now, it'snot that I can't read a map.
Well, it's kind of that I can'tread a map, but it's because
(20:05):
I've never put much effort intoreading a map.
I rely entirely on my GPS.
I find it very hard to, like,orient myself around a map.
Like, I'm one of those peoplethat, like, you know, when you
have your GPS on, and then youjust start walking straight to
see, like, whether the littlepin, like, is in front of you or
behind you, and then youcourse-correct that way instead
of, like, orienting yourself inthe first place and knowing
(20:26):
which way to go.
That's me.
Again, growth mindset.
I believe in it.
I have not worked on this skill.
I'm sure I could get better onit.
At the moment, I am a zero atit.
Okay?
I'm like,"Dude," I'm like,"I donot know what you're saying." So
finally I look at him and I'mlike,"Listen, sir." I'm like,"I
know this is, like, a concerningthing for me to be telling you
in this national park, but,like, I'm not very comfortable
(20:46):
reading maps.
Like, I, I have no idea what youjust said." And him and his
friends look at each other andthey're like,"Does someone else
in your party...?" And I'm like,"Oh, no, it's just me." And he's
like,"No problem." He literallygoes,"No problem." He holds up
the map, turns it around andgoes,"This is where you're
standing right now.
Let's try to look at it fromyour perspective.
You're gonna go down here." AndI was like,"Okay, this is so
(21:08):
much easier." And I was like,"Okay, and, like, if I can't
find it..." He was like,"Honestly, if you can't find it,
you can always throw on yourGPS.
Like, this is what you would putin your GPS." Now, by the way,
guys, there was, like, noreception at this park, so I
could not have used my GPS, but,like, he was so helpful.
He was like...
He slowed down immediately.
He was like,"Okay, like, how doyou want me to explain this to
you?" He was like,"You're gonnasee signs." Like, he made me
(21:30):
feel so much better about thewhole thing.
Anyways, I left.
I ended up not, I didn't evenpick up the map ever again, but
I, like, followed the signs, andsome of the stuff he had said
stuck in my head.
So, like, when I got to thathairpin turn, I was like,"Oh,
this must, must be, like, thehairpin turn." Anyways, I'm
fine.
I'm alive.
Like, I went on the craziesthike.
Like, two children had tobasically lead me back down
because I- they were like, wewere climbing on our hands and
(21:51):
knees, and I'd be like,"Guys,how do we get down here?" And
then they would just, like, hopover it like it was no big deal.
They were very nice.
Doesn't matter.
I'm safe.
I'm alive.
And my point of the story is...
I have learned in my life tojust ask for help.
I have learned to never bescared of saying,"I don't know.
I don't understand.
Explain it to me again for a10th time." And because of that,
I've had the opportunity tolearn so much.
(22:14):
I did the hike today.
I found the place.
I experienced being temporarilylost.
I regained my footing.
I, like, did the whole hike.
I did two trails.
I knew where I was.
Like I left with such a sense ofaccomplishment and being like,
"Holy shit." Like, I really...
You know, when I was at thatvisitor center when that guy
first whipped out the map, like,I was considering being like,"I
(22:36):
think you should call it a dayand go home." You know what I
mean?
And I didn't, and because Iexpressed my need for help, the
guy helped me, and because hehelped me, I was able to do the
thing, and because I did thething, I now feel more
confident.
Do you see what I mean?
But in math, and, like, back tothis whole reel and what it
tells us is, it's just so mucheasier to pretend you know
what's happening, get throughthe moment, ditch the shame and
(22:57):
embarrassment that could comewith ad- admitting that you
don't know, and get through themoment.
Like, survive the moment insteadof actually making something of
it.
But the problem is, you survivethe moment.
You get through it.
We all got through math class.
But you leave, and even thoughyou move on to other things and
you don't think you're everusing math again, fine.
You always carry that wound withyou and that belief that you
(23:18):
couldn't do the thing.
Because you never asked forhelp, and therefore you never
got the help you needed, and youwere never able to see what
you're truly capable of.
'Cause I know everyone postingthese reels is capable of doing
math, right?
Like, I feel it hurts for me tobe like,"Fuck," like, they're
all carrying these wounds.
Like, they were made to feellike they couldn't do math.
And also, by the way, they weremade to feel like they couldn't
(23:39):
ask for help.
I believe that.
I think that it's really hard inso many classrooms, and this is
part of the work we're all doingwith Math Therapy.
How do we create a safeenvironment so a kid can say,"I
know you explained this to mefive times.
I still don't get it.
I still don't get it." Right?
Like, and that's on us.
That's on us.
We've gotta create environmentswhere that's okay.
And, and many of us grew up inan environment where you weren't
(23:59):
even allowed to ask a question,let alone say you didn't
understand something for thefifth time.
So all that to say, I mean, thisreel to me, this whole trend of
being like, if we're ever bothsupposed to be working on a math
problem and it looks like I'mdoing math in my head, so it's
on you, that's like a protectivestrategy, right?
We're like bonding with oneanother being like,"Me too.
Yep.
Ha ha.
LOL," like,"I can't do math, butdon't worry," like,"I'll have
(24:21):
you do it for me." And we'rekind of just going into
avoidance right there saying,"Iwill not be doing any math.
I will be asking someone else,and I'm okay with that.
I'm laughing about it so itdoesn't hurt." But like it hurts
to think that you just can't dosomething, especially when that
thing is math, and math is thisthing in school that was like
used to make people feel big orsmall.
(24:42):
Again, if you got anotherinterpretation of what this reel
might mean, what this trendmight be saying, text the
podcast right now.
There's a link in your shownotes.
Click that link and text me.
I wanna know what you think itmeans.
And finally, we are gonna get...
Oh my God, I'm nervous for thisthird one, to be honest okay,
this one is not an Instagramtrend, or at least that's not
how it started.
But I, I...
(25:02):
You know what?
It's actually nice that I'mending here, because I'm ending
with something that happenedthat we together have rectified
in a way.
And that is that the third viraltrend-ish thing that happened is
a Australian retailer calledMyer came out with a shirt, and
(25:23):
on that shirt it said,"I'm toopretty to do math." Now, you're
probably thinking,"Vanessa, thissounds very familiar.
I'm having déjà vu." Yes, youare fucking having déjà vu.
Why?
Because the exact same shirtcame out in 2011.
In fact, that was part of mymaster's thesis work, was
(25:45):
interrogating all of theclothing that was out that was
marketed...
By the way, by the way, I've noteven mentioned this yet.
Notice that the past two reelsthat I've talked about, the past
two viral trends, the onlypeople I have seen using them
and sharing them are women.
Just FYI.
Okay, and now this shirt is ashirt for women.
It is targeted to girls andwomen.
(26:07):
Now, in 2011, I did this entiredeep dive into all of these
shirts that came out.
One of them was,"I'm too prettyto do my math homework, so my
brother does it for me." Therewas,"I'm too pretty to do math."
There was an entire Forever 21line with things like,"Allergic
to algebra," and other, like,kind of, like, demeaning things
only for women.
(26:27):
Only for women, okay?
All of these shirts are only forwomen.
I have not seen a"I'm toohandsome to do math" shirt, by
the way.
Now, in 2011, when that Forever21 line came out, I actually
posted a picture of the shirtthat said,"Allergic to algebra."
It was, like, this pink T-shirt,and all of my students were
like,"Oh my God, that's socute." And immediately I was
like,"Guys, it is telling yougirls that, like, you should be
(26:51):
wearing a shirt that saysallergic to algebra because you
can't possibly be good at math."They instantly went so to town
on this that within a week theshirt was pulled from Forever
21.
It was no longer for sale.
They emailed, they tweeted.
They, like, f- totally lost it.
The same thing happened l- yearslater with Benefit Cosmetics, by
(27:11):
the way.
They had a whole c- ad campaignthat was like, it's better to
be...
it, it said something...
Oh, it w- it said, uh,"Skipclass, not your concealer." And
again, I posted about it.
We all went...
Like, honestly, you guys killedit, because we were all
reposting, we were emailing, wewere like...
And that entire ad campaign gotpulled.
I cannot believe in 2020...
(27:32):
I, I would like to say I can'tbelieve, but I can believe in
2026, 15 years later, someonehas made that shirt again.
We've already been here.
We've already done it.
There it is, the shirt.
I'm too pretty to do math.
Wanna know the worst part?
Within a week on the website,there was only two sizes left,
which meant that people werebuying this shirt.
(27:54):
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
This sort of fascinates mebecause it's not just saying,
"I'm not good at math," right?
Like, it's turning math abilityinto this identity about...
Like, the vibe is like,"Thisisn't something I do.
This isn't something I'll everbecome.
This isn't j- who I am." But,like, the subtext here is...
Well, I don't even think it'ssubtext.
(28:16):
It's very obvious.
The message is that prettypeople don't do math.
Sorry, let me, let me bespecific.
Pretty girls, pretty women don'tdo math.
That stere- It just...
It's back to the cheerleader.
It's back to the fact thatthere's no cheerleader that's
good at math.
It's back to the fact that whengirls are portrayed as doing
math in the movies or TV,they're normally unpopular.
(28:39):
They have, like, no sense ofstyle.
They have no social skills.
They need the makeover to getthe guy.
Like, I just don't understandhow this is still happening.
Like, I just...
You know what?
So many people sent me thisshirt, that, like, I was
stunned.
I was like,"This can't be re-This can't be a real thing."
Then I learned it was, like, oneof the most popular retailers in
Australia, and I was like,"Whatis going on?" Here's, here's the
(29:01):
good news.
Actually, I won't tell you thegood news.
I wanna dig a bit deeper intothis first.
Like, imagine there was a shirtthat said,"I'm too pretty to
read," or,"I'm too pretty towrite," or, like,"I'm too pretty
to think." Would we be intothat?
Would we be sharing that?
Would we be buying that?
I don't know.
Would we?
I, I mean, I really don't thinkso, but this,"I'm too pretty to
(29:22):
do math," it's like this instantgrab.
And honestly, you know what Iwill say?
I think it's because girls havebeen told for so long that they
can't possibly be smart, and ofcourse, math is, like, the
ultimate thing that makes yousmart, even though that's BS.
I'm just saying that's how wetreat it, right?
Like, we call people who aregood at math smart.
(29:44):
I think it's because they weretold for so long, and still are
to a degree, that, like, theycan't possibly be smart.
They can't possibly be good atmath.
They're always made to feellike, like, in math class,
there's so much research thatshows that boys are picked when
their hands are raised more thangirls.
There's s- there's so much outthere that, like, if a girl
expresses that she's good atmath, somebody will test her and
(30:06):
be like,"Oh, really?" And doubther.
She has to prove herself.
I think that has happened for solong that girls are finally
like,"Yeah, fuck you.
I'm too pretty to do math.
Done.
Great.
Bye." Right?
Like, it's, like, almost like...
a bait and switch of them beinglike,"No, I'm the one who
decided.
I'm the one who decided, andfine, you think I can't do math?
At least I'm pretty," which issocial capital.
(30:27):
Like, I, it really, reallyupsets me, and it really bothers
me, especially because I have somany students, I have been
tutoring girls for almost 20years, and so many of them has,
have expressed this sentimentthat they're nervous.
They're too scared to go into aSTEM program.
They're too scared to even saythey're good at math or they
like math.
They hide the fact that they'regood at math, because of this
(30:49):
whole thing.
They don't wanna besecond-guessed.
They don't want someone to thinkthey're weird.
They don't want someone to thinkthey're a loser because, you
know, you're either pretty oryou're good at math.
Like, I think there are, thereare two main themes wrapped up
in here.
Theme number one is this ideathat, like, being smart actually
makes you less attractive,literally.
And theme number two, which isgirls wanting to claim
(31:11):
something, some form of powerover all of the people who have
told them they can't possibly besmart.
So being pretty is going to bethat source of power.
An article came out in TheConversation last week to talk
about all of this, and thearticle is actually titled"Too
Pretty to Do Math?
Here's the Real Reason GirlsAren't Choosing to Study Maths".
Because by the way, as I writethis, there is still a massive
(31:34):
gender gap in post-secondaryeducation when it comes to
math-related fields.
And I really want to read thisone section, okay?
"Studies suggest the biggestcauses of girls opting out of
maths are differences in howgirls perceive their own
mathematical ability and theirlower interest in the subject.
In short, girls see themselvesas less capable, even when they
(31:55):
have the same actual mathability as their male
classmates.
They are also less interested inmath.
Children develop beliefs aboutwho math is and isn't for from a
very young age.
These beliefs are shaped by themessages they receive from," are
you ready?
"Parents, teachers, peers, themedia, and society.
When girls repeatedly encounterthe idea that math is a
(32:17):
masculine domain, this caninfluence their confidence,
sense of belonging, andwillingness to continue engaging
with math.
So the fact that girls today arestill hearing these messages
that mathematics is not feminineis alarming." There.
There it is, right there I justkeep coming back to the fact
that this is so targeted towomen, the message is being
feminine and being mathematicaldon't naturally belong together.
(32:40):
And you know, when I talk aboutbeing feminine, I'm talking
about the ways we havehistorically defined femininity.
So like it's neither here northere.
Uh, what it really is, is beingable to claim whatever identity
you want as a woman is not anoption for you if you also wanna
be seen as smart.
You know, Math Therapy, thebook, if you haven't seen it,
it's pink, and I wanted to makea pink book.
And my publisher, Corwin, theywere very supportive, but they
(33:02):
also said,"We're, we're totallydown.
We'll make a pink book, but somepeople won't buy it." Imagine
that.
Some people won't buy it.
It's too girly.
It's too girly, and what doesthat mean?
It means that some people won'ttake it seriously.
Imagine the color of the coverof a book actually influencing
what somebody thinks of thecontents.
(33:24):
But I mean, I guess that's whythey say the whole thing about
like don't judge a book by itscover, but that's not the point.
I mean, it is, actually it isthe point.
But like that's the thing,right?
It's this idea, and people whoare wearing this shirt are
probably not trying tocommunicate this, but that's the
message.
When we're buying this shirt,when we're being like,"I like
this post," like, oh my God, Ishould...
(33:44):
There's so many comments beinglike,"I wish I had this in high
school," or,"This shirt is some." Like, we are just
reinforcing that stereotype.
And we're reinforcing thestereotype because the cultural
belief underneath why the jokeworks is that being feminine and
being mathematical don'tnaturally belong together.
That's why it's a joke, right?
If the shirt said,"I'm toohandsome to do math," it
(34:07):
wouldn't be funny.
People would be like,"What?"Because there's no cultural
belief that like men orattractive men aren't also
intelligent, but there is forwomen, and that is just messed
up.
It's just messed up that it'sstill happening in 2026.
Now, I read to you guys...
Okay, so tho- those are thethree trends, okay?
We've got the two reels, andwe've got the shirts.
(34:29):
We've got the comment sections,which are just reaffirming that
these are landing, right?
But with the shirt, somethingmore amazing happened.
What happened to me back in 2011is happening now.
People have been posting aboutthe shirt, explaining why it's
so culturally damaging.
People have been saying theywant that shirt taken down.
(34:51):
National science organizations,STEM organizations, math
organizations, women's onlyorganizations, like feminist
organizations, news outlets haves- have latched on.
Why have they latched on?
Because of social media.
Because of you guys posting,reposting that shirt, explaining
why it's a problem, explainingit's problematic, contacting
(35:12):
news and media folks.
And guys, I have great news.
On this day, the shirt has beentaken down.
It is no longer for sale, and itjust shows you what power we
have.
I mean, you can say all you wantabout social media, but this is
the good thing about it, is wetook that shit down, so it's no
longer available.
Now, that leads me to, what canwe do, right?
(35:33):
When we see this stuff, I haveso many messages from you guys
being like,"I'm so pissed off.
I'm so sick of seeing thisstuff.
It makes me so upset." What canwe do?
Well, the first is to realizethat what we say, what we
project, what we share, what wewear sends a message.
Every time we say,"I'm bad atmath.
I've never been a math person.
My brain just doesn't work thatway," we strengthen that belief.
(35:55):
And then when thousands of otherpeople agree, it becomes even
more deeply rooted.
This is the nature of stereotypereinforcement, right?
The comments aren't justdescribing someone's identity,
they're reinforcing it,reinforcing it.
Every time someone likes it, itreinforces it.
And that's why these trendsmatter, not just because they're
offensive, but because they'reshowing us in real time how math
trauma continues to live long,long after people leave school.
(36:18):
So what do we do?
What do we do here?
I'm gonna share a few things wecan do.
If you're listening to this,you're getting all fired up.
You're like,"I've seen thattrend.
What do I do the next time itpops across my feed?" Here are a
few things.
I'm not saying we should stopmaking jokes, right?
Humor can absolutely be a partof healing.
But when a joke is reinforcing aembedded stereotype that is
(36:38):
harmful, we have to stop.
We have to ask ourselves why isthat joke funny, and if it's
funny because it's reinforcingsomething that we wanna stop
perpetuating, then maybe weshouldn't be making that joke.
Questions we can ask ourselveswhen we see something like this
and we're about to laugh orabout to share is, why is this
so relatable?
Why do so many adults stillcarry these beliefs?
(37:00):
What happened in our classroomsthat made millions of people
feel this way?
And what would it look like tostop treating math anxiety like
a personality trait and starttreating it like an experience
we can heal from.
Next, don't share it.
That's honestly...
If you're like,"I don't wannacomment, I don't..."'Cause, you
know, I also don't wanna start awhole war here, right?
The per- uh, to- in my opinion,the people posting these reels
(37:23):
have math trauma.
That's why they're posting them.
So, like, getting into thecomments and being like,"You're
being so damaging.
Stop perpetuating..." I don't, Iactually don't think that's the
move.
I've been commenting on thembeing like, Hey, I totally
understand why you're sharingthis.
I'm so sorry you feel that way.
Let me tell you about myexperience'cause I actually felt
like I couldn't do math, andthen, like, I found out that,
like, someone had beenexplaining it to me in a way
(37:44):
that just didn't suit my needs,"or,"Another teacher explained it
this right way," or,"There'sstill hope," or,"You never have
to do math again.
I totally support that, but Iwant you to know that, like, I
know you can do it," or...
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm more t- likely tocomment something like that.
I also do look through thecomments, and if I see somebody
being like,"I feel this way,too.
(38:05):
I had this teacher who didthis," or like,"I was always
told I was stupid," I usuallycomment something nice.
But honestly, the, the numberone thing you can do and the
easiest thing you can do is justdon't share it.
Don't keep that thingcirculating, right?
The more it circulates, the morepeople are getting it across
their feed.
And the third thing you can dois what all of these people did
(38:25):
with the shirt.
Make your own media.
Make your own reel explainingwhy you think this is
problematic or sending adifferent message.
Contact media outlets.
Email the companies that aremaking shit like,"I'm too pretty
to do math" shirts, right?
Like, it makes a difference.
Get a Math Therapy crewtogether, like a, a Math Therapy
street team, and when you seestuff like this, call it out and
(38:48):
create a counter-message.
It was really cool.
I actually saw an organizationactually posted about this"I'm
too pretty to do math" shirt,and they wrote, you know, they
wrote a whole blurb about why itwas problematic, and then they
said,"Drop in the comments adifferent message we could put
on a shirt instead." Okay, hereare some of the things people
commented.
I'm gonna read some of them toyou because they're funny.
(39:09):
Okay, the first one says,"I'mtoo pretty not to do math." Then
someone wrote,"It's Mrs.
Doctor to you." We've got,"brains, beauty, and big
equations""Solving problems,looking fabulous""My favorite
subject is myself and math""Mathis my superpower" love that,
"Currently solving for myfuture" Girls do math, too, get
(39:30):
over it." I mean, there are somany, and I love this, and
honestly, let's see that merch.
Honestly, that's another thingyou can do.
Go make a shirt.
Go make that shirt right now.
Make a mug.
Make a tote.
You know, when I wrote mymaster's thesis, by the way, in
2010, you know, in, in mythesis, I was providing all
these solutions to, like, thiswhole problem, and one of my
solutions was that Paris Hiltonshould make a brand of clothing
(39:51):
that says...
you know how her thing is, like,"That's hot"?
I was like,"She should make awhole brand that's, like,'Math
is hot.'" I was like, imagineshe wore that shirt and girls
bought that shirt and wore it.
It-- like, we need to change...
I, I'm such a believer in thepower of pop culture, and our
influence over it with socialmedia now is so much more than
when I wrote that thesis in2010, we had, like, no social
(40:13):
power, at least socialmedia-wise.
Now, we can, we can make our ownmerch.
We can make this shit.
I'm gonna make this stuff.
I'm gonna make it.
That's it.
I'm making it.
Okay, fine.
Great.
Oh my God, as if I need morework to do.
I am making it.
That is how we're ending thisepisode.
I am making it.
Tell me what slogans.
That is what you're texting me.
Text me the T-shirt slogans youwanna see.
Also, do we want mugs?
(40:34):
Do we want totes?
Like, what do we want?
Make it, and I'm gonna make usan entire back to school line to
combat this bullshit I'm toopretty to do math shit.
Okay, that was a lot ofswearing.
That was too much swearing inone sentence.
Guys, okay, this has been soamazing.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being the changewe all wish to see.
Let's remember that these trendsare not creating math trauma.
They are revealing math trauma,and unfortunately reinforcing
(40:56):
it, in my opinion.
They're re-triggering it, butthey're also, like, providing
this catharsis for people whohaven't healed, but I want
people to really heal, and Iwant us to be a part of the
change, and I know if you'relistening to this, you already
are.
These trends are showing us howmany people are still carrying
painful stories about math, andthat is an opportunity.
Because once we stop acceptingthose stories as permanent
(41:18):
identities, we can finally startchanging them, and that is what
we are doing right now.
Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you for all the work youdo.
Anytime you see bullshit likethis or any trends, DM them to
me on Instagram@themathguru.
Make sure to text the podcast byhitting the link in your show
notes.
Tell me what slogans you wannasee on a shirt, and tell me what
other merch to make with thatslogan.
(41:39):
Like, we are taking it back.
We are making this math is acool vibe pop culture line.
We are doing it right now.
I am committed to the task.
Okay, the end.
Love you.
See you next week.
Thank you for fighting the goodfight.
We would be nowhere without you,and we are everywhere because of
you.
Xoxo.
Crying over math has become this shared
cultural experience in NorthAmerica.
Can we think about that?
A, a shared cultural experienceof crying over our math homework
as children?
Why have we normalized that?
This reel has gone viral, thistrend has gone viral not because
it's, like, an especially cleverjoke, but because millions of
people immediately recognizethemselves in it, If the shirt
(00:23):
said,"I'm too handsome to domath," it wouldn't be funny.
People would be like,"What?"Because there's no cultural
belief that like men orattractive men aren't also
intelligent, but there is forwomen, and that is just messed
up.
Hello, and welcome to thisweek's episode of Math Therapy,
(00:43):
which I'm recording from abeautiful motel room in
beautiful Bar Harbor, Maine.
Now, I've been on the road forthis past week, which means I've
been on Instagram a lot.
Every plane ride, every Uberride, every whatever ride, there
I am on my phone.
And that means that I havenoticed that something very
strange is going on because Ihave received multiple DMs about
(01:06):
multiple math trends, none ofwhich are very good.
You know, in 2010, I wrote amaster's thesis called Imagining
a World Where Paris Hilton LovesMath, and in that thesis, I
integrated an interdisciplinaryapproach involving feminist
theory, marketing theory, andmathematics education in order
to uncover, discover, you know,interrogate, explore, research,
(01:31):
figure out why and how media andpop culture actually make it
impossible for women to retaintheir identities while also
identifying as being good atmath.
I mean, you guys know that I'vesaid this a million times
before, and if you're new to thepodcast, I'm gonna ask you right
now, when's the last time yousaw a movie or TV show where the
cheerleader character was goodat math?
(01:54):
I say that because you'reprobably going to say,"Well,
never," because it has neverhappened.
Now, I will say there is acharacter in Mindy Kaling's Sex
Lives of College Girls,Leighton, and she is a
cheerleader who's good at math,but part of her whole, like,
character arc is that she hidesthat because she wants to be
cool, so, like, I don't evencount that.
Here's the real truth, isforever and ever and ever, we've
(02:17):
been sold this lie that womeneither need to be a certain way,
or they can't actually be goodat math or belong to the world
of mathematics.
And that certain way, by theway, usually has to do with
femininity.
They need to not be what weconsider traditionally feminine
in order to be good at math.
They can't wear makeup.
They can't, like, dress nicely.
(02:38):
They can't care about the waythey look.
They can't have social skills.
They can't have crushes.
They can't be in love.
Like, they can, but if they do,then they're gonna be given the
role in the movie or TV showthat's, like, the pretty,
popular girl, not the nerdy girlwho's good at math that needs a
makeover to get the guy.
Now, you might be thinking,"Vanessa, your master's thesis
was in 2010.
Everything's changed sincethen," and I would love to agree
(03:01):
with you.
I really would.
However, here we are a decadeand a half later, and I'm about
to share three viral math trendsfrom the last week that paint a
very different picture, and thepicture they paint is,"Oh, wow,
it's like it's 2010 again." Now,when these trends popped across
my feed, my first instinct was,"Okay, oh my God, can everyone
(03:24):
please stop doing this?
Can everyone please stop sharingthis?
Can these trends please stop?
Like, what are we doing?" I wasmad at the creators.
I was mad at the people whowere, like, emulating the
trends.
I was like,"Oh my God, you guysare just reinforcing all the
stereotypes." But then I startedreading the comments, and I was
like,"You know what?
This is a, like, don't hate theplayer, hate the game
(03:44):
situation," because it's not theindividuals who are sharing the
content or who are, like, in thecomments being like,"Oh my God,
I can relate," or the ones whoare copying the trends and
making them their own.
It's not entirely their fault,because the reason they are
latching onto these trends isbecause the trends are making
them feel seen, and I thinkthat's the bigger problem, is
(04:04):
that we have this collectivemalaise around mathematics and
like these trends are just abyproduct of that.
And like we have to stopignoring it.
We have to stop ignoring it, andwe have to figure out what to do
here So today, while I'm here tocriticize these trends, because
honestly I really am, I alsowanna unpack why they resonate
so deeply, what they're tellingus about our relationship with
(04:26):
math, and why I actually thinkthey're pointing us towards a
much bigger conversation aboutmath trauma.
And I do want to point out thesetrends all involve women.
They all involve women.
So I just have to say, I wantyou to look at this through this
lens of the fact that thesethree things I'm about to talk
about are specifically targetingwomen.
(04:49):
Ask yourself what kind ofmessage that's sending, what
purpose that serves, and howwe're gonna go about fixing this
whole situation that we foundourselves in, where yet again,
in 2026, women are still beingtold that they can't be
themselves and be good at math.
(05:09):
Now, before I get into the threetrends, if you're listening to
this right now and you're like,"Oh my God, this sounds like
it's gonna get really juicy," itis.
If you're also listening to thisright now being like,"I've been
seeing this stuff too, and I'vebeen telling my friends to stop
sharing it," or,"I've beenseeing this stuff too, and,
like, I don't know what to doabout it," the first thing you
can do is actually share thisepisode.
Share this episode right now,because the sooner we stop just
(05:31):
blindly kind of looking at thesetrends and scrolling by them,
and instead stopping, seeingthem for what they are, and
taking action, the sooner our,like, stratosphere, our feeds,
our, like, world, our- the noisearound us, the sooner that will
get cleaned up.
Because the truth is, when wehave stereotypes floating around
(05:51):
and we are constantly seeingstuff on our screens that
reinforces those stereotypes,those stereotypes get
normalized.
So the first thing you can do issend this episode to somebody
else right now so that they'reaware of them too, so that they
too can take the actions thatI'm gonna share at the end of
this episode.
All right.
Let's get into it Okay, viraltrend number one.
(06:12):
I have been sent this by so manypeople in so many different
forums.
At first...
Okay, so the first way thispopped across my feed is it was
a video of Gracie Bowers, whois, like, an amazing rock star,
and what the text said over herreel was,"You're so creative,"
in quotation marks, and then thenext set of quotation marks
(06:32):
said,"Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework." And then there's,
like, a video of her, like,rocking out on stage.
I saw this and I was like,"Oh myGod, poor Gracie.
I should get her on thepodcast." I didn't realize it
was a trend.
I thought she was just makingthis video.
But then I started getting itsent to me by more and more
people.
The next one was the exact samething,"You're so creative."
(06:53):
"Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework," and this was a
person, like, painting in thebackground.
Another one,"You're socreative.""Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework." This one was
somebody, like, painting a roomand, like, doing a whole floor
plan and designing a house.
And I was like,"Oh my God, thisis a trend.
It's a trend." And why do I knowthat?
Because on the third one Iwatched, there was a little
button I could press that said,"Use this template." And I was
(07:16):
like,"Oh my God, this is atemplate someone has made." So,
like, now, uh, people can justgo in and fill in their clips in
the backdrop, and the text willstay the same.
The text will keep saying,"You're so creative.""Thanks.
I used to cry during mathhomework." Oh my God.
Okay, so I have so many thoughtshere.
The first is, how many times dowe hear about people crying over
(07:38):
math homework?
It's always crying.
We're always crying over ourmath homework.
That actually really upsets mebecause I don't think that's
something that's made up.
I think that's a real experiencepeople share.
I think it was traumatizing forso many people, and it is
traumatizing, and I think thattrauma bond is really deep when
you see someone else post aboutit.
But the deeper thing here isthis idea of being creative
(08:00):
versus doing math.
The message of this trend seemsto be like,"Look at me now."
Like, someone's getting acompliment for how creative they
are, and they're, like, reallyproud, and they're like,"Thank
you so much for validating mebecause you know what?
Back in the day, I used to cryover my math homework." I'm
taking away two things, and I amactually curious.
Like, text the podcast if youhave another interpretation.
(08:21):
My interpretation is that themessage the reel is sending is,
number one, you're eithercreative or mathematical, right?
Like, these people are beingcelebrated because they're so
creative, and then they're like,"Thanks." Like,"I never needed
math anyway." And actually, alot of their captions will say,
"Never needed math anyway." Soit's kind of like this fuck you
(08:42):
to being like,"Yeah, I used tocry over my math homework, but,
like, look at me now." But,like, what bothers me is, like,
so many of these people in thevideos they've posted in these
reels are doing things thatinvolve math.
Like, es- the person who's,like, decorating the inside of
her home and painting the walls,I'm like, I--"You're using
math." I mean, Gracie Bower,like, a musician, you're using
(09:02):
math.
Like, you know, you're usingmath not only in your chord
progressions and your songstructures, but, like, uh,
you're a musician.
You're a, a, a business person.
Like, I know you're using mathin that sense.
But I also get it.
I'm not mad at them.
I'm just like, ugh, I knowwhat's happening here.
They're using math that wasn'ttraditionally evaluated in the
math classroom, and therefore itnever counted as real math.
(09:25):
You know, I find this, anytimesomeone says they suck at math,
what they really mean is,"I wasnot good at or was not made to
feel good at the math that I didin class, the math that was
evaluated in class." And that'sjust really depressing because
it shows, like, this whole vibeof we have so much work to do
with how we're definingmathematics, because everyone
(09:45):
posting this reel, you know,their assumption is they're do-
using no math in theirday-to-day life when they really
are, and yet again, I, we'rereinforcing that stereotype that
you're creative or good at math.
And on the flip side, they'reusing so much math, but on the
other hand, when we're doingmath, we are being so creative.
Solving math problems isinherently creative in nature,
(10:06):
right?
Like, I just Engineers areconstantly just coming up with
creative solutions.
They're like,"We could try this.
We could try that." When you'resolving a problem that you don't
know how to solve, that's whencreativity flourishes.
In fact, when we're solvingproblems that we know how to
solve or that we are told to usea specific formula for or to
just copy steps, you're right.
There is no creativity in that.
(10:26):
And again, this is not the faultof the people posting the reel.
That's probably how they weretaught math, in a very
uncreative way.
But math at its core iscreative.
You're supposed to not know howto solve the problem, and then
use creativity to figure it thefuck out.
Like, that's the whole thing.
So I feel like that's messagenumber one from this reel is
you're either creative or you'regood at math.
(10:47):
The other message I'm gettingfrom this reel is that giant,
like,"F you." You know?
It's that, like,"Thank you.
I am really creative.
I am good at something.
I used to cry over my mathhomework because I was made to
feel like I was dumb." That'sreally the vibe I'm getting,
especially from so many of thesecaptions.
And I think that again points tothis entire issue we have where,
like, we have positioned it sothat math is the thing that
(11:10):
makes you smart, so that whenkids don't know math, they feel
stupid, they feel unintelligent,they feel less worthy.
They struggle through schoolfeeling like they have no sense
of self.
And then, you know, in lateryears they find this thing
they're passionate about, andthey can look back and say,"See,
I was worth something.
Math was not the thing thatdefined me." And like fucking of
course it's not the thing thatdefines you.
(11:31):
But why do so many people feellike it is?
That's our fault.
I mean, not us, like the people,like, making the podcast, AKA
me, or listening to the podcast,you.
But it...
as a collective, that is ourfault.
What are we doing that is makingpeople identify so to a core
level with the fact that theywere bad at math?
What is happening here?
(11:51):
And you know what, guys?
Honestly, the comments justreaffirm how big of a feeling
this is.
I'm just gonna read some of themto you out now.
remember, this is a reel that'slike,"You're so creative."
"Thanks.
I used to cry over my mathhomework." People are simply
responding to the...
Like, people have latched ontothe,"I used to cry over my math
homework," and here are some ofthe comments:"Same, girl.""So it
(12:13):
wasn't just me.""Me too.""Literally.""You're not alone."
"Relatable AF.""I get it, girl,"broken heart emoji.
"OMG 100% relate.
I used to cry because I couldn'tsolve my maths homework." We get
this." Then someone commented,"You're either pretty or you can
do math," nail emoji.
Oh my fucking God.
(12:34):
"Same girl, same girl.""Literally.""Me too.""I used to
cry all the time.""This is sorelatable." A lot of crying
emojis.
Crying emoji, cry- Okay.
You get the picture.
The point is that there...
A- and you know what I have tosay?
Any time I see a reel oranything on Instagram about
someone being like,"I'm cryingover my math homework," or,"I
used to cry," it's hundreds,thousands of comments, guys,
(12:55):
thousands of comments of peoplebeing like,"Me too." And then
these s- horrible stories thatI'm just like,"Oh my God, math
trauma, math trauma, mathtrauma." Like people being like,
"My dad used to yell at me."Like,"I used to be up with my
parents till 3:00 AM.""Myteacher told me I was stu-" Like
it's like this endless thing.
So, like, crying over math hasbecome this shared cultural
experience in North America.
Can we think about that?
(13:15):
A, a shared cultural experienceof crying over our math homework
as children?
And this is the thing, this reelhas gone viral, this trend has
gone viral not because it's,like, an especially clever joke,
but because millions of peopleimmediately recognize themselves
in it, and I want us to thinkabout how strange that is.
Why have we normalized that?
If someone joked that, like,science homework left them in
tears for years or, like, theirhistory homework, like, was this
(13:38):
endless source of, like, painand grief every single day for
years, we'd be like,"What?
Oh, interesting." Like,"Tell memore about that." We'd probably
ask questions about it.
But with math, we're like,"Yep,me too." That's it, the end.
We don't even ask why.
It's like,"Yeah, of course." Thething is, this trend tells me
that we've normalized emotionalpain around math.
All these trends tell me that,actually.
(13:59):
We've stopped seeing thoseexperiences as something worth
unpacking, and it's justsomething to be like,"Yep, me
too.
I agree.
It's normal." It's normal, andthe solution is you say fuck it
to math, and you move on and dosomething non-mathematical with
the rest of your life, and thenlook back and try to heal from
years and years of not feelinggood enough from math.
(14:20):
Like, what?
What?
Like, why isn't theconversation,"Why did so many of
us have this experience?
Why is this a rite of passagegrowing up?" Like, it's
incredibly revealing, and ittells us we've become more
comfortable bonding over mathpain than questioning why so
many people experienced it inthe first place Now, I made a
(14:42):
reel to, like, try to combatthis, but I don't think I did a
great job explain- like, you'dhave to read the caption, but I
made a reel using this, and Iactually put my own videos of me
doing math.
So the reel says, like,"You'reso creative.""Thanks.
I used to cry doing mathhomework," and it's me doing
math in the background, and inthe caption I tried to unpack
it.
So you can check that out onInstagram if you wanna, like,
share that, uh, if you wannaread what I said in the caption,
(15:04):
if you want to, like, send thatto somebody who feels like
they're creative at theexclusion of math or vice versa.
So I've got that up there foryou.
Let's move on to the next trend.
Okay, the second trend that hasgone viral right now is
basically...
So the way the format works isyou post a video of you, like,
driving, chilling, doingwhatever, and then the text over
(15:24):
top says,"Please know that if weare ever in a situation where we
are both doing a math problem inour heads trying to figure
something out, I am pretendingand it's all on you." Okay.
Again, the comments are the samething.
The comments are people beinglike,"Yep, it's definitely on
you," or like,"That would neverbe me doing the math problem,"
or,"Math in my head?
(15:45):
LOL," or,"Math?
Who knows her?" Like, those areall the comments.
And on the surface, like, it'slike a joke about mental math.
Like, okay, fine, we're notdoing math in our heads, but
it's really not about that.
It's really not about that.
This gives me the impression,like, when I see this, I'm like,
okay, what is the takeaway here?
The takeaway to me is, again,this vibe of yeah, like, if
(16:08):
we're ever in a situation wherewe're both supposed to be doing
a math problem, just know thatI'm not doing it.
There's no way I'm doing mentalmath, period.
It's about confidence.
It's about identity.
It's about what we've learned tobelieve about ourselves, right?
Like, people aren't saying,"I'mout of practice," or like,"Let
me just get a piece of paper."Like, that wouldn't be very
clickbait, but like, do you knowwhat I mean?
They're saying,"I've acceptedthat somebody else should do
(16:31):
this.
I've accepted that the persondoing the math should not be
me." It's the classic, like,it's dinner time and the bill
comes, and we all pass the billto someone else to calculate the
tip.
Like, we're just like,"Oh, no,it shouldn't be me." It's a
bit...
it's giving learnedhelplessness.
Like, I know that seems, like,really dramatic, but it's kind
of giving learned helplessness,to be honest.
Somewhere along the way,millions of people have learned
(16:51):
that pretending was safer thantrying, and like, that's the
other thing about this reel,right?
They're basically sa- saying,"Ifwe're both stuck in a situation
where we're both, like, supposedto be solving a math problem,
know that I'm sitting therepretending I'm solving it.
But that's actually not what'shappening, and I'm actually
waiting for you to give me theanswer." And I think this just
shows us, again, anothercollective feeling that, like,
being wrong in math wasn't justuncomfortable for us, and it's
(17:14):
not just uncomfortable.
It's embarrassing.
It's exposing.
It's, like, proof that we're notsmart.
So, like, the best strategy ispretend you know what's going on
and let someone else answer.
And also, I, with these reels, Ithink it's like, make yourself
the joke first before someoneelse can do it, right?
Like, there's so much shameattached to it.
This is gonna seem completelyunrelated, but it's actually
(17:36):
not, and I'm gonna tell you guysa story.
I just finished visiting AcadiaNational Park.
Now, I've never been to anational park.
All right?
Like, I don't- I'm not, like, ahiker.
I'm not, like, a...
I, I mean, I like nature, but,like, you know, I've got my
limits.
But, you know, everyone talks,talks about this national park,
and there was supposed to bethis beach there.
And you guys know I'm overcomingmy fear of driving in the US and
(17:57):
driving rental cars, and, like,I have got my rental car.
I feel really good in it, and Iwas like, you know what?
Like, it's a beautiful day.
I wanna go on this adventure.
I wanna, like, go see the ocean.
So I go to this national park.
This place was insane.
It was insa- oh my God, guys.
I swear, I just looked up and Iswear there is a ma- oh my God.
Oh my God.
Okay, wait till you hear whatI'm about to tell you, and
(18:18):
you're gonna hear how TANC thatis.
And TANC, by the way, meansThere Are No Coincidences.
I have a tattoo to my rightbicep.
Okay, this is crazy.
This is crazy.
I wasn't even gonna tell thisstory, but now I have to.
I just looked up, and there is amap right in front of me.
Now, why is that TANC?
Well, because I go into thenational park.
(18:38):
I thought this park, like, Idon't know.
I thought it was gonna be, like,10 minutes to drive around the
whole thing.
This, this is a giant park.
I finally find the visitorcenter, and I'm like...
'Cause I'm like,"How am I gonnaknow where to find Sand Beach?"
That's apparently where theocean is.
And I'm like,"Oh, a sign for avisitor center.
That makes sense.
I'll go to the visitor centerand I'll, like, ask them what's
up." There are hundreds ofpeople here, okay?
Milling about with their hikinggear and their boots and their,
(19:00):
like, walking sticks.
I'm, like, cruising in.
I've got a, a shoulder tote bag,which, by the way, I've now
learned you should not bringhiking.
That is not a good idea.
Okay, fine.
Who cares?
I go to the visitor center.
I get in line to buy the parkpass, and I'm like,"Hey, Can you
recommend, like, what..."There's, like, a bunch of
different hikes, right?
There's, like, tons of hi- Idon't know how many, but, like,
50 different hikes and, like,trails.
(19:21):
I don't know.
Not 50, but, like, a lot.
I'm like,"Could you recommend,like, a hike that would be,
like, nice and easy and, like,around an ocean?" And the guy's
like,"Yeah, go on the Ocean WalkTrail." I'm like,"Great.
Could you show me where thatis?" He whips open a giant map.
Like, a giant map like you usedto use in, like, the'90s.
Like, a paper fucking map.
Like, this thing is, like,bigger than a newspaper.
(19:43):
And he's like,"All right, soyou're standing right here." And
he has his pen, right?
He's like,"You're standing righthere." Like, circles the thing.
And he's like,"You're just gonnapop over there, and then you're
gonna follow Route 3 to this,and then you're gonna turn left.
Then there's this hairpin turn."And he's circling this shit all
over the map, and I'm like,"Dude, I don't...
hold your...
Like, slow your roll." Now, it'snot that I can't read a map.
Well, it's kind of that I can'tread a map, but it's because
(20:05):
I've never put much effort intoreading a map.
I rely entirely on my GPS.
I find it very hard to, like,orient myself around a map.
Like, I'm one of those peoplethat, like, you know, when you
have your GPS on, and then youjust start walking straight to
see, like, whether the littlepin, like, is in front of you or
behind you, and then youcourse-correct that way instead
of, like, orienting yourself inthe first place and knowing
(20:26):
which way to go.
That's me.
Again, growth mindset.
I believe in it.
I have not worked on this skill.
I'm sure I could get better onit.
At the moment, I am a zero atit.
Okay?
I'm like,"Dude," I'm like,"I donot know what you're saying." So
finally I look at him and I'mlike,"Listen, sir." I'm like,"I
know this is, like, a concerningthing for me to be telling you
in this national park, but,like, I'm not very comfortable
(20:46):
reading maps.
Like, I, I have no idea what youjust said." And him and his
friends look at each other andthey're like,"Does someone else
in your party...?" And I'm like,"Oh, no, it's just me." And he's
like,"No problem." He literallygoes,"No problem." He holds up
the map, turns it around andgoes,"This is where you're
standing right now.
Let's try to look at it fromyour perspective.
You're gonna go down here." AndI was like,"Okay, this is so
(21:08):
much easier." And I was like,"Okay, and, like, if I can't
find it..." He was like,"Honestly, if you can't find it,
you can always throw on yourGPS.
Like, this is what you would putin your GPS." Now, by the way,
guys, there was, like, noreception at this park, so I
could not have used my GPS, but,like, he was so helpful.
He was like...
He slowed down immediately.
He was like,"Okay, like, how doyou want me to explain this to
you?" He was like,"You're gonnasee signs." Like, he made me
(21:30):
feel so much better about thewhole thing.
Anyways, I left.
I ended up not, I didn't evenpick up the map ever again, but
I, like, followed the signs, andsome of the stuff he had said
stuck in my head.
So, like, when I got to thathairpin turn, I was like,"Oh,
this must, must be, like, thehairpin turn." Anyways, I'm
fine.
I'm alive.
Like, I went on the craziesthike.
Like, two children had tobasically lead me back down
because I- they were like, wewere climbing on our hands and
(21:51):
knees, and I'd be like,"Guys,how do we get down here?" And
then they would just, like, hopover it like it was no big deal.
They were very nice.
Doesn't matter.
I'm safe.
I'm alive.
And my point of the story is...
I have learned in my life tojust ask for help.
I have learned to never bescared of saying,"I don't know.
I don't understand.
Explain it to me again for a10th time." And because of that,
I've had the opportunity tolearn so much.
(22:14):
I did the hike today.
I found the place.
I experienced being temporarilylost.
I regained my footing.
I, like, did the whole hike.
I did two trails.
I knew where I was.
Like I left with such a sense ofaccomplishment and being like,
"Holy shit." Like, I really...
You know, when I was at thatvisitor center when that guy
first whipped out the map, like,I was considering being like,"I
(22:36):
think you should call it a dayand go home." You know what I
mean?
And I didn't, and because Iexpressed my need for help, the
guy helped me, and because hehelped me, I was able to do the
thing, and because I did thething, I now feel more
confident.
Do you see what I mean?
But in math, and, like, back tothis whole reel and what it
tells us is, it's just so mucheasier to pretend you know
what's happening, get throughthe moment, ditch the shame and
(22:57):
embarrassment that could comewith ad- admitting that you
don't know, and get through themoment.
Like, survive the moment insteadof actually making something of
it.
But the problem is, you survivethe moment.
You get through it.
We all got through math class.
But you leave, and even thoughyou move on to other things and
you don't think you're everusing math again, fine.
You always carry that wound withyou and that belief that you
(23:18):
couldn't do the thing.
Because you never asked forhelp, and therefore you never
got the help you needed, and youwere never able to see what
you're truly capable of.
'Cause I know everyone postingthese reels is capable of doing
math, right?
Like, I feel it hurts for me tobe like,"Fuck," like, they're
all carrying these wounds.
Like, they were made to feellike they couldn't do math.
And also, by the way, they weremade to feel like they couldn't
(23:39):
ask for help.
I believe that.
I think that it's really hard inso many classrooms, and this is
part of the work we're all doingwith Math Therapy.
How do we create a safeenvironment so a kid can say,"I
know you explained this to mefive times.
I still don't get it.
I still don't get it." Right?
Like, and that's on us.
That's on us.
We've gotta create environmentswhere that's okay.
And, and many of us grew up inan environment where you weren't
(23:59):
even allowed to ask a question,let alone say you didn't
understand something for thefifth time.
So all that to say, I mean, thisreel to me, this whole trend of
being like, if we're ever bothsupposed to be working on a math
problem and it looks like I'mdoing math in my head, so it's
on you, that's like a protectivestrategy, right?
We're like bonding with oneanother being like,"Me too.
Yep.
Ha ha.
LOL," like,"I can't do math, butdon't worry," like,"I'll have
(24:21):
you do it for me." And we'rekind of just going into
avoidance right there saying,"Iwill not be doing any math.
I will be asking someone else,and I'm okay with that.
I'm laughing about it so itdoesn't hurt." But like it hurts
to think that you just can't dosomething, especially when that
thing is math, and math is thisthing in school that was like
used to make people feel big orsmall.
(24:42):
Again, if you got anotherinterpretation of what this reel
might mean, what this trendmight be saying, text the
podcast right now.
There's a link in your shownotes.
Click that link and text me.
I wanna know what you think itmeans.
And finally, we are gonna get...
Oh my God, I'm nervous for thisthird one, to be honest okay,
this one is not an Instagramtrend, or at least that's not
how it started.
But I, I...
(25:02):
You know what?
It's actually nice that I'mending here, because I'm ending
with something that happenedthat we together have rectified
in a way.
And that is that the third viraltrend-ish thing that happened is
a Australian retailer calledMyer came out with a shirt, and
(25:23):
on that shirt it said,"I'm toopretty to do math." Now, you're
probably thinking,"Vanessa, thissounds very familiar.
I'm having déjà vu." Yes, youare fucking having déjà vu.
Why?
Because the exact same shirtcame out in 2011.
In fact, that was part of mymaster's thesis work, was
(25:45):
interrogating all of theclothing that was out that was
marketed...
By the way, by the way, I've noteven mentioned this yet.
Notice that the past two reelsthat I've talked about, the past
two viral trends, the onlypeople I have seen using them
and sharing them are women.
Just FYI.
Okay, and now this shirt is ashirt for women.
It is targeted to girls andwomen.
(26:07):
Now, in 2011, I did this entiredeep dive into all of these
shirts that came out.
One of them was,"I'm too prettyto do my math homework, so my
brother does it for me." Therewas,"I'm too pretty to do math."
There was an entire Forever 21line with things like,"Allergic
to algebra," and other, like,kind of, like, demeaning things
only for women.
(26:27):
Only for women, okay?
All of these shirts are only forwomen.
I have not seen a"I'm toohandsome to do math" shirt, by
the way.
Now, in 2011, when that Forever21 line came out, I actually
posted a picture of the shirtthat said,"Allergic to algebra."
It was, like, this pink T-shirt,and all of my students were
like,"Oh my God, that's socute." And immediately I was
like,"Guys, it is telling yougirls that, like, you should be
(26:51):
wearing a shirt that saysallergic to algebra because you
can't possibly be good at math."They instantly went so to town
on this that within a week theshirt was pulled from Forever
21.
It was no longer for sale.
They emailed, they tweeted.
They, like, f- totally lost it.
The same thing happened l- yearslater with Benefit Cosmetics, by
(27:11):
the way.
They had a whole c- ad campaignthat was like, it's better to
be...
it, it said something...
Oh, it w- it said, uh,"Skipclass, not your concealer." And
again, I posted about it.
We all went...
Like, honestly, you guys killedit, because we were all
reposting, we were emailing, wewere like...
And that entire ad campaign gotpulled.
I cannot believe in 2020...
(27:32):
I, I would like to say I can'tbelieve, but I can believe in
2026, 15 years later, someonehas made that shirt again.
We've already been here.
We've already done it.
There it is, the shirt.
I'm too pretty to do math.
Wanna know the worst part?
Within a week on the website,there was only two sizes left,
which meant that people werebuying this shirt.
(27:54):
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
This sort of fascinates mebecause it's not just saying,
"I'm not good at math," right?
Like, it's turning math abilityinto this identity about...
Like, the vibe is like,"Thisisn't something I do.
This isn't something I'll everbecome.
This isn't j- who I am." But,like, the subtext here is...
Well, I don't even think it'ssubtext.
(28:16):
It's very obvious.
The message is that prettypeople don't do math.
Sorry, let me, let me bespecific.
Pretty girls, pretty women don'tdo math.
That stere- It just...
It's back to the cheerleader.
It's back to the fact thatthere's no cheerleader that's
good at math.
It's back to the fact that whengirls are portrayed as doing
math in the movies or TV,they're normally unpopular.
(28:39):
They have, like, no sense ofstyle.
They have no social skills.
They need the makeover to getthe guy.
Like, I just don't understandhow this is still happening.
Like, I just...
You know what?
So many people sent me thisshirt, that, like, I was
stunned.
I was like,"This can't be re-This can't be a real thing."
Then I learned it was, like, oneof the most popular retailers in
Australia, and I was like,"Whatis going on?" Here's, here's the
(29:01):
good news.
Actually, I won't tell you thegood news.
I wanna dig a bit deeper intothis first.
Like, imagine there was a shirtthat said,"I'm too pretty to
read," or,"I'm too pretty towrite," or, like,"I'm too pretty
to think." Would we be intothat?
Would we be sharing that?
Would we be buying that?
I don't know.
Would we?
I, I mean, I really don't thinkso, but this,"I'm too pretty to
(29:22):
do math," it's like this instantgrab.
And honestly, you know what Iwill say?
I think it's because girls havebeen told for so long that they
can't possibly be smart, and ofcourse, math is, like, the
ultimate thing that makes yousmart, even though that's BS.
I'm just saying that's how wetreat it, right?
Like, we call people who aregood at math smart.
(29:44):
I think it's because they weretold for so long, and still are
to a degree, that, like, theycan't possibly be smart.
They can't possibly be good atmath.
They're always made to feellike, like, in math class,
there's so much research thatshows that boys are picked when
their hands are raised more thangirls.
There's s- there's so much outthere that, like, if a girl
expresses that she's good atmath, somebody will test her and
(30:06):
be like,"Oh, really?" And doubther.
She has to prove herself.
I think that has happened for solong that girls are finally
like,"Yeah, fuck you.
I'm too pretty to do math.
Done.
Great.
Bye." Right?
Like, it's, like, almost like...
a bait and switch of them beinglike,"No, I'm the one who
decided.
I'm the one who decided, andfine, you think I can't do math?
At least I'm pretty," which issocial capital.
(30:27):
Like, I, it really, reallyupsets me, and it really bothers
me, especially because I have somany students, I have been
tutoring girls for almost 20years, and so many of them has,
have expressed this sentimentthat they're nervous.
They're too scared to go into aSTEM program.
They're too scared to even saythey're good at math or they
like math.
They hide the fact that they'regood at math, because of this
(30:49):
whole thing.
They don't wanna besecond-guessed.
They don't want someone to thinkthey're weird.
They don't want someone to thinkthey're a loser because, you
know, you're either pretty oryou're good at math.
Like, I think there are, thereare two main themes wrapped up
in here.
Theme number one is this ideathat, like, being smart actually
makes you less attractive,literally.
And theme number two, which isgirls wanting to claim
(31:11):
something, some form of powerover all of the people who have
told them they can't possibly besmart.
So being pretty is going to bethat source of power.
An article came out in TheConversation last week to talk
about all of this, and thearticle is actually titled"Too
Pretty to Do Math?
Here's the Real Reason GirlsAren't Choosing to Study Maths".
Because by the way, as I writethis, there is still a massive
(31:34):
gender gap in post-secondaryeducation when it comes to
math-related fields.
And I really want to read thisone section, okay?
"Studies suggest the biggestcauses of girls opting out of
maths are differences in howgirls perceive their own
mathematical ability and theirlower interest in the subject.
In short, girls see themselvesas less capable, even when they
(31:55):
have the same actual mathability as their male
classmates.
They are also less interested inmath.
Children develop beliefs aboutwho math is and isn't for from a
very young age.
These beliefs are shaped by themessages they receive from," are
you ready?
"Parents, teachers, peers, themedia, and society.
When girls repeatedly encounterthe idea that math is a
(32:17):
masculine domain, this caninfluence their confidence,
sense of belonging, andwillingness to continue engaging
with math.
So the fact that girls today arestill hearing these messages
that mathematics is not feminineis alarming." There.
There it is, right there I justkeep coming back to the fact
that this is so targeted towomen, the message is being
feminine and being mathematicaldon't naturally belong together.
(32:40):
And you know, when I talk aboutbeing feminine, I'm talking
about the ways we havehistorically defined femininity.
So like it's neither here northere.
Uh, what it really is, is beingable to claim whatever identity
you want as a woman is not anoption for you if you also wanna
be seen as smart.
You know, Math Therapy, thebook, if you haven't seen it,
it's pink, and I wanted to makea pink book.
And my publisher, Corwin, theywere very supportive, but they
(33:02):
also said,"We're, we're totallydown.
We'll make a pink book, but somepeople won't buy it." Imagine
that.
Some people won't buy it.
It's too girly.
It's too girly, and what doesthat mean?
It means that some people won'ttake it seriously.
Imagine the color of the coverof a book actually influencing
what somebody thinks of thecontents.
(33:24):
But I mean, I guess that's whythey say the whole thing about
like don't judge a book by itscover, but that's not the point.
I mean, it is, actually it isthe point.
But like that's the thing,right?
It's this idea, and people whoare wearing this shirt are
probably not trying tocommunicate this, but that's the
message.
When we're buying this shirt,when we're being like,"I like
this post," like, oh my God, Ishould...
(33:44):
There's so many comments beinglike,"I wish I had this in high
school," or,"This shirt is some." Like, we are just
reinforcing that stereotype.
And we're reinforcing thestereotype because the cultural
belief underneath why the jokeworks is that being feminine and
being mathematical don'tnaturally belong together.
That's why it's a joke, right?
If the shirt said,"I'm toohandsome to do math," it
(34:07):
wouldn't be funny.
People would be like,"What?"Because there's no cultural
belief that like men orattractive men aren't also
intelligent, but there is forwomen, and that is just messed
up.
It's just messed up that it'sstill happening in 2026.
Now, I read to you guys...
Okay, so tho- those are thethree trends, okay?
We've got the two reels, andwe've got the shirts.
(34:29):
We've got the comment sections,which are just reaffirming that
these are landing, right?
But with the shirt, somethingmore amazing happened.
What happened to me back in 2011is happening now.
People have been posting aboutthe shirt, explaining why it's
so culturally damaging.
People have been saying theywant that shirt taken down.
(34:51):
National science organizations,STEM organizations, math
organizations, women's onlyorganizations, like feminist
organizations, news outlets haves- have latched on.
Why have they latched on?
Because of social media.
Because of you guys posting,reposting that shirt, explaining
why it's a problem, explainingit's problematic, contacting
(35:12):
news and media folks.
And guys, I have great news.
On this day, the shirt has beentaken down.
It is no longer for sale, and itjust shows you what power we
have.
I mean, you can say all you wantabout social media, but this is
the good thing about it, is wetook that shit down, so it's no
longer available.
Now, that leads me to, what canwe do, right?
(35:33):
When we see this stuff, I haveso many messages from you guys
being like,"I'm so pissed off.
I'm so sick of seeing thisstuff.
It makes me so upset." What canwe do?
Well, the first is to realizethat what we say, what we
project, what we share, what wewear sends a message.
Every time we say,"I'm bad atmath.
I've never been a math person.
My brain just doesn't work thatway," we strengthen that belief.
(35:55):
And then when thousands of otherpeople agree, it becomes even
more deeply rooted.
This is the nature of stereotypereinforcement, right?
The comments aren't justdescribing someone's identity,
they're reinforcing it,reinforcing it.
Every time someone likes it, itreinforces it.
And that's why these trendsmatter, not just because they're
offensive, but because they'reshowing us in real time how math
trauma continues to live long,long after people leave school.
(36:18):
So what do we do?
What do we do here?
I'm gonna share a few things wecan do.
If you're listening to this,you're getting all fired up.
You're like,"I've seen thattrend.
What do I do the next time itpops across my feed?" Here are a
few things.
I'm not saying we should stopmaking jokes, right?
Humor can absolutely be a partof healing.
But when a joke is reinforcing aembedded stereotype that is
(36:38):
harmful, we have to stop.
We have to ask ourselves why isthat joke funny, and if it's
funny because it's reinforcingsomething that we wanna stop
perpetuating, then maybe weshouldn't be making that joke.
Questions we can ask ourselveswhen we see something like this
and we're about to laugh orabout to share is, why is this
so relatable?
Why do so many adults stillcarry these beliefs?
(37:00):
What happened in our classroomsthat made millions of people
feel this way?
And what would it look like tostop treating math anxiety like
a personality trait and starttreating it like an experience
we can heal from.
Next, don't share it.
That's honestly...
If you're like,"I don't wannacomment, I don't..."'Cause, you
know, I also don't wanna start awhole war here, right?
The per- uh, to- in my opinion,the people posting these reels
(37:23):
have math trauma.
That's why they're posting them.
So, like, getting into thecomments and being like,"You're
being so damaging.
Stop perpetuating..." I don't, Iactually don't think that's the
move.
I've been commenting on thembeing like, Hey, I totally
understand why you're sharingthis.
I'm so sorry you feel that way.
Let me tell you about myexperience'cause I actually felt
like I couldn't do math, andthen, like, I found out that,
like, someone had beenexplaining it to me in a way
(37:44):
that just didn't suit my needs,"or,"Another teacher explained it
this right way," or,"There'sstill hope," or,"You never have
to do math again.
I totally support that, but Iwant you to know that, like, I
know you can do it," or...
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm more t- likely tocomment something like that.
I also do look through thecomments, and if I see somebody
being like,"I feel this way,too.
(38:05):
I had this teacher who didthis," or like,"I was always
told I was stupid," I usuallycomment something nice.
But honestly, the, the numberone thing you can do and the
easiest thing you can do is justdon't share it.
Don't keep that thingcirculating, right?
The more it circulates, the morepeople are getting it across
their feed.
And the third thing you can dois what all of these people did
(38:25):
with the shirt.
Make your own media.
Make your own reel explainingwhy you think this is
problematic or sending adifferent message.
Contact media outlets.
Email the companies that aremaking shit like,"I'm too pretty
to do math" shirts, right?
Like, it makes a difference.
Get a Math Therapy crewtogether, like a, a Math Therapy
street team, and when you seestuff like this, call it out and
(38:48):
create a counter-message.
It was really cool.
I actually saw an organizationactually posted about this"I'm
too pretty to do math" shirt,and they wrote, you know, they
wrote a whole blurb about why itwas problematic, and then they
said,"Drop in the comments adifferent message we could put
on a shirt instead." Okay, hereare some of the things people
commented.
I'm gonna read some of them toyou because they're funny.
(39:09):
Okay, the first one says,"I'mtoo pretty not to do math." Then
someone wrote,"It's Mrs.
Doctor to you." We've got,"brains, beauty, and big
equations""Solving problems,looking fabulous""My favorite
subject is myself and math""Mathis my superpower" love that,
"Currently solving for myfuture" Girls do math, too, get
(39:30):
over it." I mean, there are somany, and I love this, and
honestly, let's see that merch.
Honestly, that's another thingyou can do.
Go make a shirt.
Go make that shirt right now.
Make a mug.
Make a tote.
You know, when I wrote mymaster's thesis, by the way, in
2010, you know, in, in mythesis, I was providing all
these solutions to, like, thiswhole problem, and one of my
solutions was that Paris Hiltonshould make a brand of clothing
(39:51):
that says...
you know how her thing is, like,"That's hot"?
I was like,"She should make awhole brand that's, like,'Math
is hot.'" I was like, imagineshe wore that shirt and girls
bought that shirt and wore it.
It-- like, we need to change...
I, I'm such a believer in thepower of pop culture, and our
influence over it with socialmedia now is so much more than
when I wrote that thesis in2010, we had, like, no social
(40:13):
power, at least socialmedia-wise.
Now, we can, we can make our ownmerch.
We can make this shit.
I'm gonna make this stuff.
I'm gonna make it.
That's it.
I'm making it.
Okay, fine.
Great.
Oh my God, as if I need morework to do.
I am making it.
That is how we're ending thisepisode.
I am making it.
Tell me what slogans.
That is what you're texting me.
Text me the T-shirt slogans youwanna see.
Also, do we want mugs?
(40:34):
Do we want totes?
Like, what do we want?
Make it, and I'm gonna make usan entire back to school line to
combat this bullshit I'm toopretty to do math shit.
Okay, that was a lot ofswearing.
That was too much swearing inone sentence.
Guys, okay, this has been soamazing.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being the changewe all wish to see.
Let's remember that these trendsare not creating math trauma.
They are revealing math trauma,and unfortunately reinforcing
(40:56):
it, in my opinion.
They're re-triggering it, butthey're also, like, providing
this catharsis for people whohaven't healed, but I want
people to really heal, and Iwant us to be a part of the
change, and I know if you'relistening to this, you already
are.
These trends are showing us howmany people are still carrying
painful stories about math, andthat is an opportunity.
Because once we stop acceptingthose stories as permanent
(41:18):
identities, we can finally startchanging them, and that is what
we are doing right now.
Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you for all the work youdo.
Anytime you see bullshit likethis or any trends, DM them to
me on Instagram@themathguru.
Make sure to text the podcast byhitting the link in your show
notes.
Tell me what slogans you wannasee on a shirt, and tell me what
other merch to make with thatslogan.
(41:39):
Like, we are taking it back.
We are making this math is acool vibe pop culture line.
We are doing it right now.
I am committed to the task.
Okay, the end.
Love you.
See you next week.
Thank you for fighting the goodfight.
We would be nowhere without you,and we are everywhere because of
you.
Xoxo.
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