Midlife Madness Episode 6: The One About the "F" Word (Rated G!)

Make sure you are in a place where you can cackle during this episode! And you may want to put on some depends, just in case. ;) Just kidding! Kind of.

1. What causes our body to squeak?

From mayoclinic.com

• Gas in your digestive system is part of the normal process of digestion. Getting rid of excess gas, either by burping or passing gas (flatus), also is normal. Gas pain may occur if gas is trapped or not moving well through your digestive system.
• An increase in gas or gas pain may result from eating foods that are more likely to produce gas. Those foods can include vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, brussel sprouts, also beans, dairy products, and foods high in fiber and/or starch. I think the point is that we can’t avoid all gas producing foods, which is why gas is a normal part of of digestion.

2. Why do we squeak more when we get older?

From agingcare.com

• Slight changes in digestion are relatively normal as we age, but there are some symptoms to look for that may indicate an underlying medical issue. If your loved one’s squeaking is accompanied by weight loss, diarrhea, abdominal pain or distention, or decreased appetite, it’s important to make an appointment with their doctor. These symptoms could signify a variety of potential causes, such as inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), bacterial overgrowth, irritable bowel syndrome, and others.

3. Why do squeaks make that horrid sound?

From a January 2018 article in Men’s Health - Quotes from Michael Rice, M.D., gastroenterologist at the University of Michigan Medicine

• The sounds of squeaks are very much shaped by their expulsion velocity as well as the shape and size of the anal sphincter opening at the moment of passing.
• He compares it to a musical instrument: the smaller the size of the exit point, the higher the pitch—and perhaps the more squeaky it will be.
• If swallowed air is triggering your squeaking—as is the case in the majority of squeakers—they tend to be louder, but less smelly. If your squeak is primarily driven from digestion and bacterial fermentation, it will tend to be smaller in volume and sound, but stinkier. 

12 Very Interesting Facts About “Squeakers”
By Noah Henry – January 7, 2015

• The “f” word was coined in 1632, defined as “to send forth as wind from the anus”.
• Squeakers can reach speeds of 10 feet per second.In at least five plays – including “Othello,” “King Lear,” and “The Comedy of Errors” – Shakespeare cracks squeaker jokes like a pimply teenager.
• Due to higher hydrogen sulfide content, female squeakers smell worse than male squeakers on average.
• 9.41 million gallons of human squeakers are released into our atmosphere daily.
• Around 1.15 million squeakers happen every second on earth.
• In China, “professional squeaker smellers” make up to $50,000 detecting flatulent odors to diagnose disease.
• The most prolific squeakers in the animal kingdom are termites.
• The Yanomami tribe of South America uses squeakers as a means of saying hello.
•  The University of Exeter said smelling squeakers can reduce risk of cancer, stroke, arthritis and dementia.
• It would take nine squeakers from every person on earth to make a hydrogen bomb.
• Dead people can squeak.

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