July 23, 2025 • 41 mins
In this episode, we feature Reha Poulson, who shares her powerful journey of conversion and preparation for her mission.
Reha's Journey of Honest Seeking and Revelation:
Ria was born a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and was active until she was 16, when her family stopped attending. Facing significant life changes and a new ward where she knew no one, she "fizzled out" of church activity, making "pretty bad choices" and living a life that was "not righteous at all".
Her interest in religion reignited when her mom found a non-denominational Christian church that Reha loved and attended religiously for months. However, a turning point came when people at this new church would ask her why she left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Reha found herself giving unsatisfactory answers like "I don't really know" or "Oh, they lie". This lack of an honest, doctrinal answer was deeply bothering to her soul. She felt "stupid" and embarrassed.
This dissatisfaction drove Reha to make a bold decision: she decided to "find a Book of Mormon and prove it wrong". She developed a specific method: she would use a pink colored pencil to mark "all of the horrible, evil, nasty, gross things in the Book of Mormon" and a blue colored pencil to mark the words "Jesus Christ" and things she believed to be true. Her intent was to compile "proof" to show her friends and the Protestant community why she "chose based on doctrine and history" to leave the Church. This felt "more purposeful and meaningful" to her.
The Spiritual Breakthrough and Rapid Conversion:
Reha started reading the Book of Mormon late at night, beginning with the introduction, marking in pink. However, as she got into the actual verses of 1 Nephi, she found herself marking "a lot" in blue, realizing "Okay, crap. I'm already wrong".
Her life-changing moment occurred when she read 1 Nephi Chapter 8, Lehi's vision of the tree of life and the great and spacious building. She "literally saw myself in that building making fun of the people that are in the church on the covenant path". In that moment, she "bursted into tears" and "felt the spirit stronger than I ever had in my entire life". She realized "for the first time in my life" that the Church was true, receiving a powerful "burning in my chest" and a profound sense of "peace and calmness". This personal revelation immediately led her to meet with her bishop the very next Sunday, where she received a temple recommend within days of her powerful experience
Key Scriptural and Spiritual Principles Taught:
Feasting Upon the Words of Christ: Reha's experience is a powerful demonstration of the principle from 2 Nephi 32:3: "feast upon the words of Christ". The episode emphasizes that her diligent study, even with an initial intent to disprove, led to the Holy Ghost confirming truth. It encourages all, especially those preparing for missions, to "just start, like just open the book".
The Power of Honest Intent: Regardless of one's initial question or intention, if there is a true "intention... to find out the truth, you're going to find it". The Lord desires "sincerity".
The Choice to Follow God: Reha's journey illustrates the "hot or cold" principle from Revelation and Elijah's challenge in 1 Kings 18:21, "How long halt ye between two opinions? If the Lord be God, then follow him". Her decision to definitively "choose cold" by attempting to disprove the Book of Mormon ultimately led her "back to the hot" truth.
Building on the Rock of Christ: Reha's rapid and deep conversion demonstrates building one's "foundation" upon "the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ" (Helaman 5:12), which provides a foundation that "will never b
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
I'm going to find a Book of Mormon, and I'm going to
mark it up and prove that it'swrong.
I found a pink-colored penciland a blue-colored pencil, and I
was going to mark all of thehorrible, evil, nasty, gross
things in the Book of Mormon inpink.
(00:20):
And then I knew that it talkedabout Jesus Christ, so I was
going to mark the words JesusChrist in blue, because I
believed in Jesus Christ.
So the things that I believed, Iwas going to mark in blue.
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
Alright, welcome back, Mission Prep Series
Podcast.
Okay, I've been waiting, I feellike my whole life for this one.
Seriously.
That's a long time, brother.
It is, but in fact, I know wekind of go back and forth with
calling this the Mission PrepSeries Podcast and the Mission
Stories Podcast.
This is definitely a MissionStory episode.
And like I said, I've beenwaiting a long time for this
(00:54):
one.
Why don't you say hello firstand just do a quick introduction
and then I will get into thestory.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00):
Hello.
Hello.
My name is Rhea Paulson.
I am from San Diego, and I'mcurrently a missionary.
SPEAKER_01 (01:11):
Yes, you are.
And you're currently servingwhich mission?
SPEAKER_00 (01:15):
Currently.
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
this is a complicated question, but.
SPEAKER_00 (01:17):
Yeah.
A service mission in San Diego.
SPEAKER_01 (01:21):
Oh, that's literally this.
SPEAKER_00 (01:23):
I don't know, actually.
Yeah.
I've only been home a week.
SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
We'll get into your story because, yeah, you were
called to serve.
SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
In Maceio, Brazil.
SPEAKER_01 (01:31):
And then some, yeah, some things happen.
So it's a different situationnow, but that's not the point of
the story, but we'll get to thatat the end.
Right.
That's context.
And Lauren, how are you?
SPEAKER_00 (01:42):
Very good.
SPEAKER_01 (01:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:45):
Happy to be here.
SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
Yeah.
We're happy for you to be here.
Wait, I'm just excited.
I'm just saying how happy we arethat you're here as always.
SPEAKER_00 (01:53):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:56):
So, okay.
So let's get into this because,so I've taught this mission prep
series for, class for lots andlots of years and i guess it was
a year ago no less than a yearago
SPEAKER_00 (02:07):
more like probably eight months ago
SPEAKER_01 (02:09):
okay so like eight months ago so i do it's a seven
week course and then we'll takea couple weeks off and then
we'll do the seven week coursetake a couple weeks off and
every session new people show upand i don't remember how did you
hear about it
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
um i think just other my friends from the stake
SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
okay so you're in the singles or no whether it's
SPEAKER_00 (02:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
The YSA.
SPEAKER_01 (02:30):
The YSA.
They were coming and you'relike, I'll check it out.
SPEAKER_00 (02:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:33):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (02:33):
They were like, Brother Record's the best.
Oh.
Come meet him.
So I did.
SPEAKER_01 (02:37):
I got like five head nods here.
SPEAKER_00 (02:39):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:40):
It's all relative.
It's all relative who's the bestbecause we're going to hear your
story and we will judge.
Yeah.
And we'll have a competition atthe end, right?
I think Lauren's the best, butthis story, this story.
Okay.
We'll just have a competition atthe end.
Okay.
So you show up and just get, notthat this is, I mean, thank you
for building my ego a littlebit, but tell me what was the
(03:02):
experience like, the missionprep class?
I'm just curious.
SPEAKER_00 (03:04):
Oh, it was amazing.
I felt old.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
Why?
SPEAKER_00 (03:07):
Because it was mostly like high schoolers, you
know, and then me.
SPEAKER_01 (03:10):
Yeah.
Some juniors, a bunch ofseniors.
Yeah.
There's usually though a numberof people who have their calling
and are ready to go.
I think in your session, it wasjust like maybe two of you or
three of you, right?
Well, actually at that time youhadn't decided to go yet.
SPEAKER_00 (03:21):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (03:22):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (03:22):
Yeah.
So I didn't even know that I wasgoing to go on a mission.
But I was just coming for funbecause my friends were going.
SPEAKER_01 (03:27):
Yeah, fun.
That's the right word.
My class is fun.
It was very fun.
And it was actually fun,
SPEAKER_00 (03:32):
huh?
Yeah.
And I actually learned probablymore in your class than ever in
Sunday school.
I'm serious.
SPEAKER_01 (03:39):
Thank you.
Well, what's interesting is aswe got into the lessons, I think
it was the first one.
I didn't know you.
I asked questions.
And as we do, we get into thesediscussions.
And then you opened your mouthand you started talking.
And I was like, wait, what?
What you just said?
Like there's no way.
And at some point after we justgot into this conversation, I
(03:59):
was like, okay, we're going totalk after this class because I
need to learn more about who youare and what your story is.
Do you remember that?
SPEAKER_00 (04:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:07):
Was it the first or second class?
And then I made you like sitdown at the end and.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
And then at the end of you being forced to sit down
and tell me your story, Iliterally was like, there's no
way.
And you said, well, I've got theproof.
Here's the book.
that we're going to referenceand you held it up and I was
like, can I take a picture ofthat?
Oh yeah.
Like you didn't know me, but Itake a picture and I've shown
3000 people since like, yeah,you holding the book up.
That's going to be the centralpart of the story.
(04:33):
And I'd like showed a millionpeople that, that photo.
I'm sorry.
Am I building you up too much?
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
Probably.
SPEAKER_01 (04:39):
No, no, no.
Okay.
So we're going through theprinciples in the class and, um,
I'm just excited because eachweek you come back and I'm like,
I want to learn more about herstory.
I want to hear more about whatshe's done and where she comes
from.
And it just kept getting betterand better and more interesting
and more interesting.
Okay, so let's start with yourstory.
Let's step back.
(04:59):
You were born a member of theChurch of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints.
SPEAKER_00 (05:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:03):
Yeah.
For how long were you afaithful, active member of the
church?
SPEAKER_00 (05:07):
Until I was 16.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:10):
Your family as well?
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:12):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (05:12):
We were very active in the church.
Hmm.
Here in San Diego.
Yeah, here in San Diego my wholelife.
And my dad always had bigcallings in the church.
We always had missionaries overfor dinner.
We were very, very standardMormon family, I would say.
SPEAKER_01 (05:28):
Okay.
And then something changed.
This was about two, three yearsago?
No, no,
SPEAKER_00 (05:34):
no.
In 2020.
Okay.
2019, 2020.
SPEAKER_01 (05:38):
Okay.
So five, six years ago.
And then something changed.
You don't have to get intodetails if you don't want to,
but.
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
I honestly don't even know the whole story.
But there was something thatchanged, and I could tell that
something was changing becausewe kind of stopped going to
church.
A lot was happening in my lifeat this time.
My uncle had passed away, and wewere moving.
I didn't have very many friends.
The friends that I did have...
(06:03):
I had to kind of stop beingfriends with them because they
weren't great influences andstuff like that.
And we had just moved to ValleyCenter in California.
And so it's just like middle ofnowhere.
And so I didn't really knowanyone.
We had a new ward.
I don't think that we ever wentto our new ward as a family.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
I
SPEAKER_00 (06:18):
knew that, you know, things were things were
changing.
I didn't really know why.
And I still don't really knowwhy.
Maybe I do know.
I just don't remember.
SPEAKER_01 (06:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:25):
But anyway, so we moved and my older sister and I,
we would go to church everyEvery once in a while by
ourselves.
Just the two of you.
SPEAKER_01 (06:32):
Yeah.
Because your parents stoppedgoing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:35):
They weren't like officially done with the church,
but they had stopped going.
And it was kind of weird, youknow, because it was like
there's this new family in theward and the bishop was like,
you know, stand up.
And when I say your name and itwas like my whole family and
then it was just my older sisterand I, you know, and so people
would come up and be like,where's your family?
Okay.
And we'd be like, you know,like, yes, they're great, but.
(06:57):
They don't want to be here.
They're great, and I love them.
Anyways, I remember my parentssat us down, and they were like,
I don't remember exactly howthey said it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:10):
Because you were 16.
SPEAKER_00 (07:11):
Yeah.
I just remember all of ussitting on the couch, and my
parents were like, Mom and I aredone with the church, but if you
guys still want to go to church,we'll bring you to church.
They were very supportive.
That's good.
But none of us...
really wanted to.
And I, I remember I did reallywant to, but I was like, I'm not
(07:31):
going to make my dad sit througha church that he doesn't like.
If I know the whole time thathe's like, Oh, I don't believe
in this, you know?
So I just felt kind of weird.
So I was like, whatever.
And I had gone to seminary everymorning leading up to this day.
So I was still very active inthe church and I had my own
questions and problems with thechurch, but you know.
SPEAKER_01 (07:50):
And how long from that meeting until kind of the
point where you were like, Idon't know, I'm not, This
isn't...
I'm good with...
I'm okay with...
SPEAKER_00 (07:58):
I don't know.
Probably maybe a couple monthsthat I was just officially done.
And I became very not Mormon.
Okay,
SPEAKER_01 (08:08):
we'll get into that.
But Lauren, what do you think?
What would you do in thatsituation if mom and dad sit you
down and are like, hey, we'reout.
If you want to go, we'll supportyou, but we're out.
At 16 years old, what would youhave done?
Like if they said, you have achoice at this point.
SPEAKER_00 (08:22):
I honestly...
I was pretty lukewarm.
So I would say that I'd kind ofjust fizzle out as well.
SPEAKER_01 (08:30):
Yeah.
I mean, at 16 years old, most ofus would, I would think, right?
That's a formative age.
SPEAKER_00 (08:38):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
Super formative.
And we're still there with ourparents, especially like
beautiful, wonderful, goodparents like you have.
We trust them.
We love them.
Right.
We followed them up to 16 years.
Why wouldn't we follow them?
Right.
So I think that's a normalreaction.
SPEAKER_00 (08:52):
Yeah.
UNKNOWN (08:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:53):
For most people.
For most people.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:55):
Especially because it was a brand new ward too.
Like I didn't know anyone in theward.
So it wasn't hard for me to belike, I don't really want to go.
Yeah.
You don't have like youngwomen's leaders like pulling up
to your house like every week.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:07):
And so did you, do you remember a conscious
decision where you're like, I'mfine to kind of transition out
of this?
SPEAKER_00 (09:12):
I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01 (09:13):
Yeah.
It just happened.
SPEAKER_00 (09:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:14):
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
So you're 16 years old.
You're going to high school, allthat stuff.
No longer remember the church,right?
Yeah.
Okay.
When you...
So your new lifestyle, did itfeel different?
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:27):
It felt different?
Yes.
In what sense?
SPEAKER_00 (09:29):
I feel like I always, I dressed very modestly
and stuff.
And then, you know, I was like,oh, I can wear tank tops now.
And like just the little things.
And I started working atStarbucks and I love coffee.
I still do.
I don't drink it anymore, but Ilove it.
You know, I made some pretty badchoices.
And my life, I don't know, itwas not righteous at all.
SPEAKER_01 (09:51):
Did you find yourself...
recognizing, I mean, it's sohard during those formative
teenage years to decide if I'mhappy because of this or I'm not
happy, right?
We're all going through thisrollercoaster of emotions.
Did you at the time or lookingback link any of your happiness
to the behaviors versus the notbehaviors?
SPEAKER_00 (10:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:07):
You did.
SPEAKER_00 (10:08):
Yeah.
And I think it's kind of a hardquestion because yeah, I don't
think I was depressed or I didhave very bad anxiety and stuff,
but I mean...
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Yeah, who knows if you can link that to this
situation or not.
So then at some point, did yougraduate high school?
At some point, you had aresurgence of interest in
religion.
SPEAKER_00 (10:31):
Yes.
So it's actually a funny storythat I'll keep short, but my mom
ran into one of her best friendsfrom high school at Costco.
And she was like, where are youliving now?
I think this is how it went.
And we found out that we werepretty much neighbors.
SPEAKER_01 (10:46):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (10:47):
okay.
And this friend of my mom's, shehas, she goes to a different,
just non-denominationalChristian church.
And my mom's like, I'm not readyfor religion and stuff.
And my mom's friend was tryingto get her to come for a while.
And my mom finally decided to goand she loved it.
And she was like, Ria, I thinkyou would really love it.
SPEAKER_01 (11:07):
So this is like a Protestant church somewhere
local to where you guys live.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
Okay.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:11):
And so I went and I loved it.
I still love it.
I'll go sometimes with my momand It's very, you know, rock
band and very, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
Yeah, I love Protestant
SPEAKER_00 (11:21):
churches.
And so this is when I started.
This was probably two years ago.
Okay.
I started, and I always, I'msomeone who needs something to
believe in.
And so I would, you know, lookfor like tarot cards or like
crystals or like something.
You're a seeker.
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
Yeah.
You're a seeker.
Yeah.
And that's what has alwaysstruck me about you is you have
this inquisitive mindset it doesseem like you're seeking for
purpose, meaning, and, and Idon't know if the word is truth.
Maybe this one is truth, butyeah, you do.
You have always seemed like aseeker.
SPEAKER_00 (11:52):
Yeah.
And so I was kind of excited.
SPEAKER_01 (11:54):
And, and let me just, sorry.
And an honest seeker.
Yeah.
Right.
The scriptures talk about anhonest seeker of truth is the
one that will find trutheventually.
Right.
We have to be humble and anhonest, like be honest about it.
And you always, always struck meas that kind of person.
So at that, at that time youwere, Honestly looking for
answers or meaning or group tobelong to or whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
Yeah.
Okay.
And so when my mom invited me tocome to this church, I was very
excited.
And so I went and I loved it andI went for months and
religiously every Sunday I wentand I went to their youth groups
and stuff and it was great.
And then I, I have a best friendthat I've had throughout this
whole process.
SPEAKER_01 (12:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (12:34):
And he was also a member of the church, but he was
kind of not
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
Oh, that best friend.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_00 (12:42):
And he wasn't super, he wasn't happily a member of
the church.
I'll say, I'm not going to sharehis story, but at times he would
be kind of jealous that I was, Ihad left the church with my
family, you know, cause hisfamily was still very, they're
very active members of thechurch.
And so he had to go,
SPEAKER_01 (12:59):
but he's by the way on a mission right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, so he was kind of like,you're, I'm jealous because you
get to leave this thing that I'mnot that into.
Was he jealous that you'd foundsomething new?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
He was just jealous that youwere out.
Okay.
So at this point, okay, andwe're going to jump into like
the part where I started to getreally excited.
(13:20):
At what point, how long into yougoing to the Protestant church
did people start to go, oh,hello, who are you?
Oh, hi, my name's Rhea.
Hey, where do you come from?
Oh, well, I used to be a memberof the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints.
I used to be a Mormon.
Mm-hmm.
And now I'm not.
And then their eyes would get sobig and be so excited.
Like we did it.
We got one.
We got one.
(13:40):
Well, yes, that, that apostategroup over there, we got one.
And then they would, so I'll askyou the second question, but how
long were you going to thischurch and building that
community before they started toask that?
And then I've got the bestquestion for you.
SPEAKER_00 (13:53):
Oh, I mean the first day.
SPEAKER_01 (13:55):
Oh, but how long were you going?
Okay.
So they were constantly askingyou that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Oh, well, I mean, I didn't have a community right
away, you know, but within acouple weeks.
SPEAKER_01 (14:08):
Yeah, I guess how long was your tenure there,
really?
SPEAKER_00 (14:10):
Less than a year.
SPEAKER_01 (14:11):
Okay, less than a year.
Okay, so at some point, therewas a common question that these
people would ask you.
And that common question was,why...
would you leave that church tocome here?
SPEAKER_00 (14:22):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (14:23):
Right.
Which is an, and they would sayit with really just joyful
excitement.
Like, yes, this is awesome.
Now, why did you leave?
And you expressed to me at onepoint that you became very
dissatisfied and almostembarrassed by the answer that
you would give them.
Yeah.
Okay.
Tell me about that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:38):
My answer would be, I don't really know.
Um, cause yeah, that's funnythat you said that.
Cause they would ask, they'd belike, what?
So, you know, why are you herenow?
Why did you leave the church?
And, um,
SPEAKER_01 (14:50):
And they're looking for things like preach to us why
it's not true and it's afoolishness church over there.
SPEAKER_00 (14:55):
And why we're true, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:56):
And why we're true.
But your answer always was, whatwas your answer deep down
inside?
I followed my mom.
SPEAKER_00 (15:04):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (15:05):
But your outward answer was, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (15:08):
I would say, oh, they lie.
Or just like little things thatI didn't even really believe to
be true, but I would just,because I felt
SPEAKER_01 (15:15):
stupid.
Okay, so let's get down to that.
Why did you...
because this leads us to areally important part of your
story.
We established before fiveminutes ago that you're an
honest seeker of truth.
And what did it make you feellike when they would ask you,
why did you leave that church tocome here?
And you honestly had what youconsidered a really weak answer
of basically, I'm just a sheep.
(15:35):
I just followed my mom.
What did that do to your soul?
Why did that hurt you?
Why did that make you feel like,oh, that's not a good answer.
It inspired you to do something.
Why was it such a, why were youso bothered by your answer?
SPEAKER_00 (15:47):
Because I think deep down I knew that the LDS church
was true, but I did not want toadmit it.
I wasn't going to.
SPEAKER_01 (15:54):
Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (15:56):
And so I think when people would try and get that
answer from me of like, why didyou leave?
Tell us
SPEAKER_01 (16:02):
how bad Joseph Smith was or the evidence that he lies
or the mistakes you've found inthe scriptures or whatever it
is.
UNKNOWN (16:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:11):
yeah, it would tear me out a little bit.
Cause I'd be like, I don't know.
You know, I felt stupid.
SPEAKER_01 (16:16):
Now, now the other reason you gave me for being
kind of like really dissatisfiedwith your reasons that you would
give them for having left thatchurch to go to this church was
you were like, I didn't feellike my answers were honest.
Like I needed a real goodreason.
Like if I'm going to do this, Ineed a good reason.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that led you to, I love thispart so much.
(16:39):
Okay, listen to this.
So she's at this point whereshe's, I'm going to paraphrase
because I just love it so much.
She's at the point where she'slike, okay, daily people are
asking me, tell us why you leftthe church and came to us.
And her answers are, you know,she's just kind of like empty a
little bit.
And that drove you to do, tomake a decision.
What was the decision you made?
(17:01):
you decided you want to have abetter answer, a real answer,
like a doctrinal answer.
Like you wanted to go and beable to answer these people and
say, oh, I didn't follow anyone.
I know the doctrine.
I know these are wrong.
And this is why I left.
And that's why I came herebecause I discovered that this
is right.
Isn't that kind of what youshared with me?
SPEAKER_00 (17:20):
Kind of.
So I didn't start to beinterested in the church again
because of these other people inthis church that I was going to,
but because of this friend thatI have.
Okay.
And he was preparing to serve amission.
And he started to become moreactive in the church.
And I was sad for him.
Because I was like, and I saidsome pretty mean things about
(17:41):
the church to him.
And I don't know how he put upwith me for that long.
Because I mean, I said somenasty things.
But I didn't want to hurt thepeople in the church.
I wanted to help.
I wanted to help them.
I wanted to be like, this, Iwant to help you leave, you
know.
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
Okay.
So by definition, you were atthis point, Anti.
Yeah, I was.
Exmo anti.
SPEAKER_00 (18:02):
And I would post stuff and I was very anti.
SPEAKER_01 (18:06):
Okay, so what was your resolute method of now
being able to be effective athelping people leave the church?
SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
I don't even know.
I think I was too embarrassed toactually confront people to
their face and tell them theirchurch was wrong.
SPEAKER_01 (18:22):
No, but you said you did something with some, let's
just call them magic coloringpencils.
SPEAKER_00 (18:27):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (18:28):
Yeah, that thing.
Yeah, we're jumping.
Sorry.
SPEAKER_00 (18:30):
No, that's good.
So I decided I'm going to find aBook of Mormon and I'm going to
read it and prove all of youwrong.
SPEAKER_01 (18:38):
Say that all again.
Say that all again because thisis such a great part of the
story.
SPEAKER_00 (18:41):
I'm going to find a Book of Mormon and I'm going to
mark it up and prove that it'swrong.
SPEAKER_01 (18:46):
And you had a specific method of how you're
going
SPEAKER_00 (18:49):
to do this.
What was your method?
I found a pink colored penciland a blue colored pencil and I
was going to mark all of thehorrible, evil things nasty,
gross things in the Book ofMormon in pink.
And then I knew that it talkedabout Jesus Christ.
And so I was going to mark thewords Jesus Christ in blue
because I believe in JesusChrist.
So the things that I believed, Iwas going to mark in blue.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
And were you going to use this?
You had mentioned you're goingto use this with your...
your friend.
You're going to use this withother members of the church.
You are also going to use thisas a reason to now answer the
Protestants who are saying,why'd you leave your church?
Now you've got, look at all thispink.
This is why I left.
Right.
And did that feel morepurposeful and meaningful to
you?
Which again, I, I really commendyou for your honesty.
That is the right way to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
that is right.
Lauren, if we're ready to likereally combat this and question
it, let's go study it.
Let's prove it wrong.
And let's use that as ourreasons to go out.
Not because, oh, I don't likethat commandment or someone
offended me or all these otherreasons, right?
So again, to command you forthat honest seeking heart,
you're like, let me go prove it.
Let's do it.
Now, at this point, had you readthe Book of Mormon?
SPEAKER_00 (19:52):
I don't think fully, no.
SPEAKER_01 (19:55):
Like as a kid up until 16, like Lauren, had you
read the Book of Mormon?
I hadn't really read the Book ofMormon.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (20:01):
The first time I finished it was on my mission.
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
There you go.
There you go.
Okay.
So this was the first time,honestly, that you were like
diving in.
SPEAKER_00 (20:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (20:08):
Okay, so I'm just picturing young Rhea in a, I
don't know, Starbucks, where thesun is just hitting you through
the window just perfectly, andyou've got this Book of Mormon
laid out on this table.
And on the left side, you've gotthis pink pencil.
On the right side, you've gotthis blue pencil.
And you've got a sharpener onthe pink one because you're
like, I'm ready to prove thiswrong.
SPEAKER_00 (20:26):
Literally, I started with the pink pencil in my hand.
So it was late at night, and wedidn't have any Book of Mormon
in the house, and I was lookingand searching.
We didn't have any.
So I got one from a friend.
And it's already marked up alittle bit, but I...
SPEAKER_01 (20:41):
Luckily, they chose a color other than pink or blue.
Okay, good.
Because we've got the evidenceof here.
This Book of Mormon, my favoriteBook of Mormon on this planet is
sitting in front of us rightnow.
Just show the people in theroom.
Open the page.
Just give them a little bit ofa...
All right, there's a little bitof pink.
There's a little bit...
Well, show them the pink first.
SPEAKER_00 (20:59):
So I started reading...
The introduction, I literallyjust started on page one.
I'm in the mind of ananti-Mormon.
And so I'm like marking, oh no,he didn't have power of God to
translate the Book of Mormon.
SPEAKER_01 (21:10):
Pink.
SPEAKER_00 (21:11):
It doesn't show, it doesn't have the full truth of
the gospel.
Pink.
You know, stuff like that.
But then when I get to 1 Nephichapter one and like the actual
verses, it's all, see there's.
SPEAKER_01 (21:24):
Someone else's read.
Yeah.
Okay, we're going through thislisteners right now.
We're looking at this magicalbook.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
It's all blue.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
There's blue there.
Okay.
So what happens?
So you started in pink and thenas you found stuff you liked,
you started marking.
Well, that's not, I agree withthat.
That's good.
Okay.
Keep talking.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
So I was in my bed and it was probably like
midnight and I started readingand I had just gotten home from
work.
I started reading and the firsttime I marked blue, I was like,
okay, crap, I'm already wrong.
You know, cause I, I expected itall to be pink.
You know, I started marking inblue and by the time I made it
to the eighth chapter, firstNephi chapter eight, this is,
(21:59):
This moment is when my lifechanged, when I read chapter
eight.
SPEAKER_01 (22:02):
How much blue had you put up in there up until
chapter eight?
A lot.
So this book is, may I?
Yeah.
So first Nephi.
Yeah, there's a lot of blue inhere.
So what are you thinking at thetime as you're going through
here with the intention?
I
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
was so nervous.
SPEAKER_01 (22:19):
And here's what's fascinating, right?
What is the promise in Moroni10, three to five?
If you're blessed to have thisin front of you, if you search
it with real intent, Now,Lauren, let me get your opinion
on here.
Rhea's real intent, she had realintent.
The real intent was to prove itwrong, but she had real intent.
Do you think that qualifies asMoroni 10.3-5?
SPEAKER_00 (22:41):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (22:42):
Why do you think?
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
Because also, verse 5 talks about It says, ask if
these things are not true.
Yeah.
And so regardless of thequestion you're asking or your
intentions behind it, if youhave the intention, whether it's
positive or negative, to findout the truth, you're going to
find it either way.
It's a promise from HeavenlyFather.
SPEAKER_01 (23:02):
If, as scriptures say, your heart, your intent of
your desires, if you're true andhonest and a seeker of truth, if
you really care about it, whichyou did.
And so this process, it wasjust, the Lord wants sincerity,
right?
And that's what you were givingthis, was a sincere attempt.
And I love looking through thisbook.
There's so much blue.
(23:22):
There's just tons and tons ofblue.
So when you look back and you'regoing through and you get to
chapter eight and you're lookingback at all this blue, what was
going on in your mind?
I
SPEAKER_00 (23:30):
was so nervous.
I was anxious because I knew Iwas like, you know, none of my
family, still to this day, I'mthe only member of my family.
And I have a lot of All of my, alot of my extended family that
lives in San Diego and everyone,we've all kind of left the
church together.
Wow.
So I'm, you know, I have, I havea couple family members that are
(23:51):
members still, but.
SPEAKER_01 (23:52):
But you were getting nervous because you were like,
what was in your, in your heartand mind?
Were you like, this feels right?
Or this sounds right?
Like what was going on?
I
SPEAKER_00 (23:59):
felt the spirit stronger than I ever had in my
entire life.
SPEAKER_01 (24:03):
Wait, say that again.
Say
SPEAKER_00 (24:05):
that again.
I felt the Spirit stronger thanI had in my entire life reading
1 Nephi chapter 8.
SPEAKER_01 (24:10):
Okay, what happened in 8?
SPEAKER_00 (24:11):
When it talks about Lehi's vision and it talks about
the people.
So I was reading and it wasgreat and whatever and then it
got to the part where it talksabout the building, the great
and spacious building and it hasall the people in it that are
mocking the people that are onthe covenant path holding to the
iron rod and eating of the fruitand And I literally saw myself.
(24:36):
I'm very imaginative.
And I saw myself in thatbuilding making fun of the
people that are in the church onthe covenant path.
And literally in this moment, Ibursted into tears.
It was late at night.
I was by myself, and I was justcrying because I felt the Spirit
so strongly, but I was also soscared.
(24:56):
Because in this moment, I knewthat the church was true.
For the first time in my life,you know, like when you're
young, you don't, I mean, yeah,the church is true, but you
don't really know, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (25:07):
Oh yeah.
No, there's a process.
Yeah.
And you, you at this point didwhat all of us do, which is
children.
We are kind of just faithfullyobeying or following what our
parents do, but the scripturesteach us there's a process.
And for the first time in yourlife, you're doing God's pattern
or God's plan, the process.
And it's striking you to thecenter of your soul.
(25:28):
And explain, just help thelisteners understand, what did
you feel when you said, I feltthe Holy Ghost?
What was it?
What did you feel?
It
SPEAKER_00 (25:34):
was literally like it says, like a burning in my
chest.
It was just a feeling in myheart.
And it was like, although I wasso anxious and nervous to, you
know, because I didn't know howto move forward.
SPEAKER_01 (25:50):
Yeah, big change, or you'd be rejecting something
that is really convincing youright now.
SPEAKER_00 (25:55):
Although I was anxious, I...
had the most amount of peace andcalmness about it.
And I don't know, I just waslike, okay, let's do this, I
guess.
SPEAKER_01 (26:06):
Did you keep reading?
SPEAKER_00 (26:07):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (26:08):
And did you keep marking in pink and blue?
SPEAKER_00 (26:10):
Yes, for a little bit.
So in this book, the markingsstop after 1 Nephi chapter 8.
SPEAKER_01 (26:16):
Fascinating.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
So after I had read 1 Nephi chapter 8, that's when I
stopped reading for the night.
And then that Sunday, I met withmy bishop.
That Sunday?
Yeah.
And he was actually my seminaryteacher at the time when I left
the church.
Oh, so you don't know.
So he was like, I remember theday that you left.
(26:38):
And it was a big deal when weleft the church because it was
kind of unexpected.
So he was very excited to meetwith me.
And I'll forever be grateful forhim because he trusted me.
And I remember thinking thatnight that I was reading.
I obviously couldn't sleep.
And I was thinking about thetemple worship.
And the priesthood.
And those two things are stillto this day I have the biggest
(27:02):
testimony of.
My testimony is strongest in thetemple and the priesthood.
And even when we weren'tactively going to church, I
would think about the temple.
And I missed the temple.
I was never going to say that toanybody.
But I did.
I missed it.
And so I was just like thinkingand I was like, if I believe in
this, I can go back to thetemple someday.
(27:22):
Yeah.
And that was super exciting.
Wow.
And so I met with my bishop thatSunday.
And, you know, he believed me.
And we did a temple recommendinterview.
And he was like, well, is thereanything in your life right now
preventing you from entering atemple?
And I was like, in this moment,no.
(27:43):
He was like, okay, here's atemple
SPEAKER_01 (27:44):
recommend.
Well, how did that feel?
SPEAKER_00 (27:46):
Oh, my gosh.
I got in my car and I cried.
I sobbed.
I was so
SPEAKER_01 (27:49):
excited.
So let me give context a littlebit.
So...
in this almost like super shortperiod of time, a matter of
days, with the intention ofgoing into proving this wrong so
that you could justify to yourProtestant friends, to your
friends everywhere, why it isthat I chose, Iria chose, right?
This isn't something thathappened to me.
I chose, based on doctrine andhistory, I chose and did my
(28:13):
research to leave this thingbecause it's wrong.
Like there's reasons behind it.
And within a short period oftime, you feasted upon the words
of Christ and the Holy Ghostconfirms to you the truthfulness
of it in such a powerful waythat you immediately decide,
I've got to get back into this.
SPEAKER_00 (28:30):
And
SPEAKER_01 (28:30):
now you're sitting with your bishop and you're
getting a temple recommend.
SPEAKER_00 (28:33):
Yeah, it's
SPEAKER_01 (28:35):
crazy.
It's so amazing.
There's so many principles here.
And again, this is a missionprep, right?
We're doing this so thatlisteners at home who are
looking for inspiration and forhow to have a great experience
on their mission and are lookingto get some knowledge about how
they can be good missionaries,there's no greater principle
than these two that you've justtaught us all.
One, 2 Nephi 32, feast upon thewords of Christ.
(28:57):
The words of Christ will tell usand show us all things that we
should do.
Feast upon the words of Christ.
Those of you preparing formissions, look, many of us have
never even picked up the bookand really dived into it.
Do it.
There's nothing more importantfor you.
Dive into it like Rhea did.
SPEAKER_00 (29:13):
And you don't have to have a big moment of leaving
the church or a faith crisis oranything.
I don't know.
Find a pink and blue coloredpencil and try and prove it.
SPEAKER_01 (29:24):
I love that so much.
It's so great.
Yeah, and do it with realintent.
And what you'll find is you'llmaybe find some pink.
Good.
Question it.
Challenge it.
Do deeper research.
And this kind of diligent workis what the scriptures tell us.
This is how the mysteries of Godthrough the Holy Ghost get
revealed to us.
This is how we know God.
And you sincerely dove in andyou started to rip it apart and
(29:48):
then you found in your honestmind, wow, I believe in these
things.
This is so powerful that it'seven...
So the second principle that weteach for you listeners at home,
revelation is what leads toconversion.
And so you triggered...
this relationship or thisconversation with your father in
heaven by feasting on his wordsfirst.
(30:09):
And that helped you feel thespirit and convinced you of the
truthfulness.
What better combination, Lauren,what better combination in the,
in, in all of missionary work isthere than getting our friends
and investigators to keepcommitments, to feast upon the
words of Christ, then pray aboutit, to feel the Holy ghost.
Those things set you on the rockthat will never be shaken,
(30:32):
right?
Right?
And that's what happened to you.
So this little crazy likethree-day event that happened to
you, that happened how manymonths before you and I met?
SPEAKER_00 (30:43):
Maybe like two.
SPEAKER_01 (30:44):
Two months?
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
Well, so if we met seven months ago, this all
happened exactly a year ago.
SPEAKER_01 (30:50):
So when you told me this story, I was like, oh my
goodness, this happened five,six years ago because- I could
feel the testimony of you, thediscipleship of Christ, the
faith that you had, therepentance and the faith, all
those principles of the gospel.
It just was about you.
That was your aura.
And I was like, she told me thestory that happened five years
(31:10):
ago.
And you're like, this was threemonths ago.
I'm like, no way.
And then you fast forwardanother how many months in a
year, have a mission call toBrazil, going on a mission.
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
Not a long time.
Less than a year.
SPEAKER_01 (31:23):
Talk about a dramatic, amazing spiritual
experience that takes you fromone path to the other one.
Now, I guess, Lauren, thisbrings in principle number one
too, right?
Choose you this day.
We talk about the scripturalprinciples of, well, God says in
Revelation, I know your worksthat they're hot, neither hot
nor cold.
I would that you're hot or cold,but not lukewarm.
And if you're lukewarm, I spewthe out of my mouth.
(31:45):
Like you did choose a hot and acold, or at least you...
how about this?
We'll frame it like this.
When you're talking to yourfriends in the Protestant
church, your answer was, I'mlukewarm.
I'm only here because I don'tknow.
I didn't really choose any ofthis, but that drove you to be
like, I'm going to choose.
I'm going to choose.
And you chose cold, right?
Which took you down the path,which brought you back to the
(32:06):
hot, which I think is anotherreason why in Elijah or in
Revelation, that principle is sotrue, right?
Elijah said it this way.
How long halt ye between twoopinions?
If the Lord be God, then followhim.
But if Baal, then follow him.
But go find out.
No longer stand thereindifferent.
And you were a little bitindifferent in that Protestant
situation.
And so you did all the work togo, I'm out of this.
(32:29):
You chose the cold, but then itbrought you back.
Super powerful.
I love it so much.
It's so great.
Okay, so then...
I meet you and we're doingmission prep class and I could
just see that the testimony wasreal and deep and your faith and
all of it was there.
And you had this desire to goand serve, go lead other souls
to Christ.
And so fast forward and you getyour mission call to Brazil
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
and
SPEAKER_01 (32:51):
you go out for two months.
Oh wait, you're here now.
SPEAKER_00 (32:54):
Three months.
SPEAKER_01 (32:55):
Three months.
So tell us briefly whathappened.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
In Brazil?
SPEAKER_01 (33:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (33:01):
So in the, I was totally fine in the MTC and, And
there were a couple of days thatI felt weird physically, but I
was like, I'm in a differentcountry and the food's different
and stuff.
So this is normal.
Um, the second I got to thefield, I knew something was
wrong with my body.
Um, but again, differentcountry, I'm walking 10 miles a
(33:23):
day on the equator.
Like it was really fricking hot.
And, um, I don't know.
I just kind of, I kept brushingit off.
And then I started to realizethat the other, you know, girls
that I lived with, they weren'tstruggling physically as much as
I was.
And I know that I'm, I'm alwaysbeen active and, you know,
(33:43):
played sports and stuff.
And so I'm not like, I don'tknow.
And every day just started toget worse and I became weaker
and my body just finally decidedto stop working.
And so president was kind oflike, you'll adjust to the heat,
you know?
But I was like, I mean, I livein San, it doesn't get that hot,
(34:05):
this hot in San Diego, but Iknow what it's like to be
dehydrated and hot.
And this is not that, but he waslike, it is, you'll be fine, you
know?
Um, and so we tried all thesethings and I was just getting
worse.
And so I went to the hospitaland In Brazil?
Quite a few times.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (34:25):
Oh, how was that experience?
SPEAKER_00 (34:26):
Oh my gosh.
Horrible.
SPEAKER_01 (34:30):
That's crazy.
I thought Ukrainian hospitalswere nuts, but my son tells me
about Brazil hospitals.
Not good.
SPEAKER_00 (34:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (34:38):
And so you got to the point where the decision was
made.
We better get home for safety.
SPEAKER_00 (34:42):
And it was very fast.
It was like, if you still feelthis way by the end of the
transfer, we'll talk about whatmaybe it would look like to go
home.
And I was like, okay.
And that made me really sad.
And then it was, that week thatwe had first talked about that
was my worst week physically.
And I was getting really, Icouldn't get out.
(35:02):
My companion had to walk me tothe bathroom.
I couldn't move.
And so he was like, okay, itlooks like we can get you out of
here within the next coupleweeks.
And I was like, oh, so sad.
And I was like, okay.
And they were like, just keep,just work on, we had been
working online.
(35:23):
for a long time because Icouldn't get out of bed.
Um, he's like, just keep workingonline until we can figure it
out.
And that night I got a phonecall from president's assistance
that I was leaving the nextmorning.
Oh, so there was lots of tears.
Yeah.
And I stayed up all night andpacked my bags and made a 52
hour travel home.
(35:44):
And now you're home.
And it, yeah, it's crazy.
I was the first few days.
I was like, felt like I was ondrugs.
I was like, didn't actually feellike I was actually home.
So weird.
It's a huge shock.
It still feels that way.
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
So now you're home and you're going to figure out
what to do.
It could be service mission.
It could go stateside.
It could be a number of otherthings.
You don't know.
And you don't know what thephysical sickness is.
You're still talking to doctorsand trying to figure that out.
SPEAKER_00 (36:08):
Still really sick and still have no idea.
SPEAKER_01 (36:11):
Weird.
Like so weird.
But as we end here, I wanted tostep back and just give you the
chance, not to put you on thespot, but let's say the 10
trillion people that arelistening to this podcast.
SPEAKER_00 (36:22):
Oh, geez.
SPEAKER_01 (36:23):
What message would you have for them, both about
your story and about yourcurrent situation that you're
in?
SPEAKER_00 (36:30):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
Mm-hmm.
That's a big question.
SPEAKER_01 (36:37):
Let's start with the story.
For those out there, like, Ithink the biggest, the most
realistic situation is most kidspreparing for missions are going
to run into problems or not havethe greatest of experiences
because they're indifferent.
SPEAKER_00 (36:52):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (36:52):
about the scriptures and prayer.
They're indifferent.
They just don't care enough toreally dive in.
And you cross your fingers andhope that at some point on their
mission, they'll learn that.
They'll figure it out,
SPEAKER_00 (37:02):
yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:03):
And I think a lot do.
But what would your message beabout that and your own
experience to kids right now?
Let's say you've got thisaudience of kids listening and
they want to learn from you.
What advice would you give themabout how to get ready for their
mission so that their mission isan awesome experience?
SPEAKER_00 (37:18):
Just start.
Like just open the book.
This is the book is why we go onmissions.
You know, the, the book is themain thing that's different
about our religion.
Um, and I mean, when I, for theshort time that I was in Brazil,
my favorite thing to talk aboutwould be just try, even if
you're just curious, just readthe book of Mormon.
(37:39):
Like even if you're anti, justread it.
Cause like, why, why are youanti read it?
You know?
SPEAKER_01 (37:44):
Nice.
SPEAKER_00 (37:47):
So, um,
SPEAKER_01 (37:48):
And why do you like that advice?
Because what would happen if themost people who are honest
seekers would read it?
What would happen?
SPEAKER_00 (37:53):
You'll find out.
You'll find the truth.
The biggest thing that I'velearned on my mission is
communication with God.
It's okay to be frustrated withHeavenly Father.
I have been so frustratedbecause through my experience,
I've been like, I have doneeverything wrong.
(38:15):
I feel like I've done everythingthat I could and on my mission I
was obedient and I you know wokeup on time and I did my
scripture study and I you knowfollowed all the rules I wore my
garments I did literallyeverything I took all my
vitamins like I was doingeverything that I could think of
to be obedient and for somereason Heavenly Father still had
(38:37):
me go down this path of that'sbeen physically and emotionally
painful and that's been reallyfrustrating but Through this
experience, I've learned it'sokay to be frustrated with God,
but it's not okay to shut himout.
It's okay to, and I kind of wasthinking about it the other day
is like, anytime in myfriendships or relationships
(38:59):
that I've, we've like bickeredabout something or we've not
agreed on something.
And every time that we'veactually talked about it in like
a respectful way, I've alwaysleft the conversation with more
respect for them and more lovefor them.
So I've been kind of thinking ofthat a lot when I think of
communicating with HeavenlyFather about this.
SPEAKER_01 (39:21):
So I love this advice, especially coming from
you.
Because in the beginning weestablished that when I met you,
I could just tell you were asincere person.
You're a serious and sincereperson.
The things that you do in lifeare purposeful and meaningful.
And what's more meaningfulthan...
seeking a true, like, realrelationship with what many of
us look at as this, we hopethere's a God out there.
(39:44):
But you look at it like, no,there is a God out there, and I
believe in this God as a person,and I'm going to have a
relationship with him.
And there are different levelsand all kinds of different
aspects of relationship, andit's okay for me to not
understand or to be frustratedabout something, but I'm going
to keep working on thatrelationship.
Like, that's kind of like...
(40:05):
It aligns with what I know aboutyou.
You are sincerely in arelationship with the God who
created us.
Yeah.
And you are trying to have thatreal relationship.
You shared with me, I said, howare you getting through this?
And before we started recordingand you shared the one thing,
then we'll end on this becausethis is a powerful thing.
You shared one thing.
How are you?
Like, I'm like, how are youspending your days?
Like, how are you coping withthis?
(40:26):
How are you doing this?
And your answer was?
SPEAKER_00 (40:27):
Reading.
SPEAKER_01 (40:29):
Reading what?
The Book of Mormon.
The blue parts?
Yes.
And the pink parts?
Yeah.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou for sharing this.
I've been dying to share thisstory.
I love this story so much.
And we'll take some pictures andtry and post some photos of this
book with all the blue and alittle bit of pink in it.
SPEAKER_00 (40:46):
Let's do it.
SPEAKER_01 (40:46):
As a memory for this.
But thanks for joining us.
And honestly, this idea offeasting upon the words of
Christ is life-changing if we doit with a sincere heart.
He says, do it diligently, whichyou did.
And he says, the mysteries ofGod will be unfolded to you.
And those things that getunfolded to us come in a
spiritual way.
And I love your story about,first Nephi 8 just landed and
(41:07):
the spirit came into my heart.
And now you know, you have thatanchor and that foundation.
You know, God lives and you knowthat these scriptures are his
words, not by some logicalexplanation, but but by the
power of the Holy Ghost, right?
Paul said, I didn't come to youwith enticing words of man's
wisdom to convince you of thesethings, but I came to you by the
(41:28):
power of the Holy Ghost.
I preached, my preaching waswith the power of the Holy
Ghost.
We know that's the definition offaith, right?
It's the evidence and substanceof things that we don't see with
our eyes, but that we feeldeeply within our souls.
And that is God convincing us.
That's revelation.
You had it.
I love it so much.
SPEAKER_00 (41:47):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_01 (41:48):
Thanks for coming.
Okay.
Join us next time.
I'm going to find a Book of Mormon, and I'm going to
mark it up and prove that it'swrong.
I found a pink-colored penciland a blue-colored pencil, and I
was going to mark all of thehorrible, evil, nasty, gross
things in the Book of Mormon inpink.
(00:20):
And then I knew that it talkedabout Jesus Christ, so I was
going to mark the words JesusChrist in blue, because I
believed in Jesus Christ.
So the things that I believed, Iwas going to mark in blue.
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
Alright, welcome back, Mission Prep Series
Podcast.
Okay, I've been waiting, I feellike my whole life for this one.
Seriously.
That's a long time, brother.
It is, but in fact, I know wekind of go back and forth with
calling this the Mission PrepSeries Podcast and the Mission
Stories Podcast.
This is definitely a MissionStory episode.
And like I said, I've beenwaiting a long time for this
(00:54):
one.
Why don't you say hello firstand just do a quick introduction
and then I will get into thestory.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00):
Hello.
Hello.
My name is Rhea Paulson.
I am from San Diego, and I'mcurrently a missionary.
SPEAKER_01 (01:11):
Yes, you are.
And you're currently servingwhich mission?
SPEAKER_00 (01:15):
Currently.
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
this is a complicated question, but.
SPEAKER_00 (01:17):
Yeah.
A service mission in San Diego.
SPEAKER_01 (01:21):
Oh, that's literally this.
SPEAKER_00 (01:23):
I don't know, actually.
Yeah.
I've only been home a week.
SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
We'll get into your story because, yeah, you were
called to serve.
SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
In Maceio, Brazil.
SPEAKER_01 (01:31):
And then some, yeah, some things happen.
So it's a different situationnow, but that's not the point of
the story, but we'll get to thatat the end.
Right.
That's context.
And Lauren, how are you?
SPEAKER_00 (01:42):
Very good.
SPEAKER_01 (01:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:45):
Happy to be here.
SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
Yeah.
We're happy for you to be here.
Wait, I'm just excited.
I'm just saying how happy we arethat you're here as always.
SPEAKER_00 (01:53):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:56):
So, okay.
So let's get into this because,so I've taught this mission prep
series for, class for lots andlots of years and i guess it was
a year ago no less than a yearago
SPEAKER_00 (02:07):
more like probably eight months ago
SPEAKER_01 (02:09):
okay so like eight months ago so i do it's a seven
week course and then we'll takea couple weeks off and then
we'll do the seven week coursetake a couple weeks off and
every session new people show upand i don't remember how did you
hear about it
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
um i think just other my friends from the stake
SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
okay so you're in the singles or no whether it's
SPEAKER_00 (02:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
The YSA.
SPEAKER_01 (02:30):
The YSA.
They were coming and you'relike, I'll check it out.
SPEAKER_00 (02:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:33):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (02:33):
They were like, Brother Record's the best.
Oh.
Come meet him.
So I did.
SPEAKER_01 (02:37):
I got like five head nods here.
SPEAKER_00 (02:39):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:40):
It's all relative.
It's all relative who's the bestbecause we're going to hear your
story and we will judge.
Yeah.
And we'll have a competition atthe end, right?
I think Lauren's the best, butthis story, this story.
Okay.
We'll just have a competition atthe end.
Okay.
So you show up and just get, notthat this is, I mean, thank you
for building my ego a littlebit, but tell me what was the
(03:02):
experience like, the missionprep class?
I'm just curious.
SPEAKER_00 (03:04):
Oh, it was amazing.
I felt old.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
Why?
SPEAKER_00 (03:07):
Because it was mostly like high schoolers, you
know, and then me.
SPEAKER_01 (03:10):
Yeah.
Some juniors, a bunch ofseniors.
Yeah.
There's usually though a numberof people who have their calling
and are ready to go.
I think in your session, it wasjust like maybe two of you or
three of you, right?
Well, actually at that time youhadn't decided to go yet.
SPEAKER_00 (03:21):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (03:22):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (03:22):
Yeah.
So I didn't even know that I wasgoing to go on a mission.
But I was just coming for funbecause my friends were going.
SPEAKER_01 (03:27):
Yeah, fun.
That's the right word.
My class is fun.
It was very fun.
And it was actually fun,
SPEAKER_00 (03:32):
huh?
Yeah.
And I actually learned probablymore in your class than ever in
Sunday school.
I'm serious.
SPEAKER_01 (03:39):
Thank you.
Well, what's interesting is aswe got into the lessons, I think
it was the first one.
I didn't know you.
I asked questions.
And as we do, we get into thesediscussions.
And then you opened your mouthand you started talking.
And I was like, wait, what?
What you just said?
Like there's no way.
And at some point after we justgot into this conversation, I
(03:59):
was like, okay, we're going totalk after this class because I
need to learn more about who youare and what your story is.
Do you remember that?
SPEAKER_00 (04:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:07):
Was it the first or second class?
And then I made you like sitdown at the end and.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
And then at the end of you being forced to sit down
and tell me your story, Iliterally was like, there's no
way.
And you said, well, I've got theproof.
Here's the book.
that we're going to referenceand you held it up and I was
like, can I take a picture ofthat?
Oh yeah.
Like you didn't know me, but Itake a picture and I've shown
3000 people since like, yeah,you holding the book up.
That's going to be the centralpart of the story.
(04:33):
And I'd like showed a millionpeople that, that photo.
I'm sorry.
Am I building you up too much?
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
Probably.
SPEAKER_01 (04:39):
No, no, no.
Okay.
So we're going through theprinciples in the class and, um,
I'm just excited because eachweek you come back and I'm like,
I want to learn more about herstory.
I want to hear more about whatshe's done and where she comes
from.
And it just kept getting betterand better and more interesting
and more interesting.
Okay, so let's start with yourstory.
Let's step back.
(04:59):
You were born a member of theChurch of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints.
SPEAKER_00 (05:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:03):
Yeah.
For how long were you afaithful, active member of the
church?
SPEAKER_00 (05:07):
Until I was 16.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:10):
Your family as well?
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:12):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (05:12):
We were very active in the church.
Hmm.
Here in San Diego.
Yeah, here in San Diego my wholelife.
And my dad always had bigcallings in the church.
We always had missionaries overfor dinner.
We were very, very standardMormon family, I would say.
SPEAKER_01 (05:28):
Okay.
And then something changed.
This was about two, three yearsago?
No, no,
SPEAKER_00 (05:34):
no.
In 2020.
Okay.
2019, 2020.
SPEAKER_01 (05:38):
Okay.
So five, six years ago.
And then something changed.
You don't have to get intodetails if you don't want to,
but.
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
I honestly don't even know the whole story.
But there was something thatchanged, and I could tell that
something was changing becausewe kind of stopped going to
church.
A lot was happening in my lifeat this time.
My uncle had passed away, and wewere moving.
I didn't have very many friends.
The friends that I did have...
(06:03):
I had to kind of stop beingfriends with them because they
weren't great influences andstuff like that.
And we had just moved to ValleyCenter in California.
And so it's just like middle ofnowhere.
And so I didn't really knowanyone.
We had a new ward.
I don't think that we ever wentto our new ward as a family.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
I
SPEAKER_00 (06:18):
knew that, you know, things were things were
changing.
I didn't really know why.
And I still don't really knowwhy.
Maybe I do know.
I just don't remember.
SPEAKER_01 (06:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:25):
But anyway, so we moved and my older sister and I,
we would go to church everyEvery once in a while by
ourselves.
Just the two of you.
SPEAKER_01 (06:32):
Yeah.
Because your parents stoppedgoing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:35):
They weren't like officially done with the church,
but they had stopped going.
And it was kind of weird, youknow, because it was like
there's this new family in theward and the bishop was like,
you know, stand up.
And when I say your name and itwas like my whole family and
then it was just my older sisterand I, you know, and so people
would come up and be like,where's your family?
Okay.
And we'd be like, you know,like, yes, they're great, but.
(06:57):
They don't want to be here.
They're great, and I love them.
Anyways, I remember my parentssat us down, and they were like,
I don't remember exactly howthey said it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:10):
Because you were 16.
SPEAKER_00 (07:11):
Yeah.
I just remember all of ussitting on the couch, and my
parents were like, Mom and I aredone with the church, but if you
guys still want to go to church,we'll bring you to church.
They were very supportive.
That's good.
But none of us...
really wanted to.
And I, I remember I did reallywant to, but I was like, I'm not
(07:31):
going to make my dad sit througha church that he doesn't like.
If I know the whole time thathe's like, Oh, I don't believe
in this, you know?
So I just felt kind of weird.
So I was like, whatever.
And I had gone to seminary everymorning leading up to this day.
So I was still very active inthe church and I had my own
questions and problems with thechurch, but you know.
SPEAKER_01 (07:50):
And how long from that meeting until kind of the
point where you were like, Idon't know, I'm not, This
isn't...
I'm good with...
I'm okay with...
SPEAKER_00 (07:58):
I don't know.
Probably maybe a couple monthsthat I was just officially done.
And I became very not Mormon.
Okay,
SPEAKER_01 (08:08):
we'll get into that.
But Lauren, what do you think?
What would you do in thatsituation if mom and dad sit you
down and are like, hey, we'reout.
If you want to go, we'll supportyou, but we're out.
At 16 years old, what would youhave done?
Like if they said, you have achoice at this point.
SPEAKER_00 (08:22):
I honestly...
I was pretty lukewarm.
So I would say that I'd kind ofjust fizzle out as well.
SPEAKER_01 (08:30):
Yeah.
I mean, at 16 years old, most ofus would, I would think, right?
That's a formative age.
SPEAKER_00 (08:38):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
Super formative.
And we're still there with ourparents, especially like
beautiful, wonderful, goodparents like you have.
We trust them.
We love them.
Right.
We followed them up to 16 years.
Why wouldn't we follow them?
Right.
So I think that's a normalreaction.
SPEAKER_00 (08:52):
Yeah.
UNKNOWN (08:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:53):
For most people.
For most people.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:55):
Especially because it was a brand new ward too.
Like I didn't know anyone in theward.
So it wasn't hard for me to belike, I don't really want to go.
Yeah.
You don't have like youngwomen's leaders like pulling up
to your house like every week.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:07):
And so did you, do you remember a conscious
decision where you're like, I'mfine to kind of transition out
of this?
SPEAKER_00 (09:12):
I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01 (09:13):
Yeah.
It just happened.
SPEAKER_00 (09:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:14):
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
So you're 16 years old.
You're going to high school, allthat stuff.
No longer remember the church,right?
Yeah.
Okay.
When you...
So your new lifestyle, did itfeel different?
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:27):
It felt different?
Yes.
In what sense?
SPEAKER_00 (09:29):
I feel like I always, I dressed very modestly
and stuff.
And then, you know, I was like,oh, I can wear tank tops now.
And like just the little things.
And I started working atStarbucks and I love coffee.
I still do.
I don't drink it anymore, but Ilove it.
You know, I made some pretty badchoices.
And my life, I don't know, itwas not righteous at all.
SPEAKER_01 (09:51):
Did you find yourself...
recognizing, I mean, it's sohard during those formative
teenage years to decide if I'mhappy because of this or I'm not
happy, right?
We're all going through thisrollercoaster of emotions.
Did you at the time or lookingback link any of your happiness
to the behaviors versus the notbehaviors?
SPEAKER_00 (10:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:07):
You did.
SPEAKER_00 (10:08):
Yeah.
And I think it's kind of a hardquestion because yeah, I don't
think I was depressed or I didhave very bad anxiety and stuff,
but I mean...
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Yeah, who knows if you can link that to this
situation or not.
So then at some point, did yougraduate high school?
At some point, you had aresurgence of interest in
religion.
SPEAKER_00 (10:31):
Yes.
So it's actually a funny storythat I'll keep short, but my mom
ran into one of her best friendsfrom high school at Costco.
And she was like, where are youliving now?
I think this is how it went.
And we found out that we werepretty much neighbors.
SPEAKER_01 (10:46):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (10:47):
okay.
And this friend of my mom's, shehas, she goes to a different,
just non-denominationalChristian church.
And my mom's like, I'm not readyfor religion and stuff.
And my mom's friend was tryingto get her to come for a while.
And my mom finally decided to goand she loved it.
And she was like, Ria, I thinkyou would really love it.
SPEAKER_01 (11:07):
So this is like a Protestant church somewhere
local to where you guys live.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
Okay.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:11):
And so I went and I loved it.
I still love it.
I'll go sometimes with my momand It's very, you know, rock
band and very, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
Yeah, I love Protestant
SPEAKER_00 (11:21):
churches.
And so this is when I started.
This was probably two years ago.
Okay.
I started, and I always, I'msomeone who needs something to
believe in.
And so I would, you know, lookfor like tarot cards or like
crystals or like something.
You're a seeker.
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
Yeah.
You're a seeker.
Yeah.
And that's what has alwaysstruck me about you is you have
this inquisitive mindset it doesseem like you're seeking for
purpose, meaning, and, and Idon't know if the word is truth.
Maybe this one is truth, butyeah, you do.
You have always seemed like aseeker.
SPEAKER_00 (11:52):
Yeah.
And so I was kind of excited.
SPEAKER_01 (11:54):
And, and let me just, sorry.
And an honest seeker.
Yeah.
Right.
The scriptures talk about anhonest seeker of truth is the
one that will find trutheventually.
Right.
We have to be humble and anhonest, like be honest about it.
And you always, always struck meas that kind of person.
So at that, at that time youwere, Honestly looking for
answers or meaning or group tobelong to or whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
Yeah.
Okay.
And so when my mom invited me tocome to this church, I was very
excited.
And so I went and I loved it andI went for months and
religiously every Sunday I wentand I went to their youth groups
and stuff and it was great.
And then I, I have a best friendthat I've had throughout this
whole process.
SPEAKER_01 (12:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (12:34):
And he was also a member of the church, but he was
kind of not
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
Oh, that best friend.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_00 (12:42):
And he wasn't super, he wasn't happily a member of
the church.
I'll say, I'm not going to sharehis story, but at times he would
be kind of jealous that I was, Ihad left the church with my
family, you know, cause hisfamily was still very, they're
very active members of thechurch.
And so he had to go,
SPEAKER_01 (12:59):
but he's by the way on a mission right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, so he was kind of like,you're, I'm jealous because you
get to leave this thing that I'mnot that into.
Was he jealous that you'd foundsomething new?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
He was just jealous that youwere out.
Okay.
So at this point, okay, andwe're going to jump into like
the part where I started to getreally excited.
(13:20):
At what point, how long into yougoing to the Protestant church
did people start to go, oh,hello, who are you?
Oh, hi, my name's Rhea.
Hey, where do you come from?
Oh, well, I used to be a memberof the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints.
I used to be a Mormon.
Mm-hmm.
And now I'm not.
And then their eyes would get sobig and be so excited.
Like we did it.
We got one.
We got one.
(13:40):
Well, yes, that, that apostategroup over there, we got one.
And then they would, so I'll askyou the second question, but how
long were you going to thischurch and building that
community before they started toask that?
And then I've got the bestquestion for you.
SPEAKER_00 (13:53):
Oh, I mean the first day.
SPEAKER_01 (13:55):
Oh, but how long were you going?
Okay.
So they were constantly askingyou that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Oh, well, I mean, I didn't have a community right
away, you know, but within acouple weeks.
SPEAKER_01 (14:08):
Yeah, I guess how long was your tenure there,
really?
SPEAKER_00 (14:10):
Less than a year.
SPEAKER_01 (14:11):
Okay, less than a year.
Okay, so at some point, therewas a common question that these
people would ask you.
And that common question was,why...
would you leave that church tocome here?
SPEAKER_00 (14:22):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (14:23):
Right.
Which is an, and they would sayit with really just joyful
excitement.
Like, yes, this is awesome.
Now, why did you leave?
And you expressed to me at onepoint that you became very
dissatisfied and almostembarrassed by the answer that
you would give them.
Yeah.
Okay.
Tell me about that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:38):
My answer would be, I don't really know.
Um, cause yeah, that's funnythat you said that.
Cause they would ask, they'd belike, what?
So, you know, why are you herenow?
Why did you leave the church?
And, um,
SPEAKER_01 (14:50):
And they're looking for things like preach to us why
it's not true and it's afoolishness church over there.
SPEAKER_00 (14:55):
And why we're true, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:56):
And why we're true.
But your answer always was, whatwas your answer deep down
inside?
I followed my mom.
SPEAKER_00 (15:04):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (15:05):
But your outward answer was, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (15:08):
I would say, oh, they lie.
Or just like little things thatI didn't even really believe to
be true, but I would just,because I felt
SPEAKER_01 (15:15):
stupid.
Okay, so let's get down to that.
Why did you...
because this leads us to areally important part of your
story.
We established before fiveminutes ago that you're an
honest seeker of truth.
And what did it make you feellike when they would ask you,
why did you leave that church tocome here?
And you honestly had what youconsidered a really weak answer
of basically, I'm just a sheep.
(15:35):
I just followed my mom.
What did that do to your soul?
Why did that hurt you?
Why did that make you feel like,oh, that's not a good answer.
It inspired you to do something.
Why was it such a, why were youso bothered by your answer?
SPEAKER_00 (15:47):
Because I think deep down I knew that the LDS church
was true, but I did not want toadmit it.
I wasn't going to.
SPEAKER_01 (15:54):
Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (15:56):
And so I think when people would try and get that
answer from me of like, why didyou leave?
Tell us
SPEAKER_01 (16:02):
how bad Joseph Smith was or the evidence that he lies
or the mistakes you've found inthe scriptures or whatever it
is.
UNKNOWN (16:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:11):
yeah, it would tear me out a little bit.
Cause I'd be like, I don't know.
You know, I felt stupid.
SPEAKER_01 (16:16):
Now, now the other reason you gave me for being
kind of like really dissatisfiedwith your reasons that you would
give them for having left thatchurch to go to this church was
you were like, I didn't feellike my answers were honest.
Like I needed a real goodreason.
Like if I'm going to do this, Ineed a good reason.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that led you to, I love thispart so much.
(16:39):
Okay, listen to this.
So she's at this point whereshe's, I'm going to paraphrase
because I just love it so much.
She's at the point where she'slike, okay, daily people are
asking me, tell us why you leftthe church and came to us.
And her answers are, you know,she's just kind of like empty a
little bit.
And that drove you to do, tomake a decision.
What was the decision you made?
(17:01):
you decided you want to have abetter answer, a real answer,
like a doctrinal answer.
Like you wanted to go and beable to answer these people and
say, oh, I didn't follow anyone.
I know the doctrine.
I know these are wrong.
And this is why I left.
And that's why I came herebecause I discovered that this
is right.
Isn't that kind of what youshared with me?
SPEAKER_00 (17:20):
Kind of.
So I didn't start to beinterested in the church again
because of these other people inthis church that I was going to,
but because of this friend thatI have.
Okay.
And he was preparing to serve amission.
And he started to become moreactive in the church.
And I was sad for him.
Because I was like, and I saidsome pretty mean things about
(17:41):
the church to him.
And I don't know how he put upwith me for that long.
Because I mean, I said somenasty things.
But I didn't want to hurt thepeople in the church.
I wanted to help.
I wanted to help them.
I wanted to be like, this, Iwant to help you leave, you
know.
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
Okay.
So by definition, you were atthis point, Anti.
Yeah, I was.
Exmo anti.
SPEAKER_00 (18:02):
And I would post stuff and I was very anti.
SPEAKER_01 (18:06):
Okay, so what was your resolute method of now
being able to be effective athelping people leave the church?
SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
I don't even know.
I think I was too embarrassed toactually confront people to
their face and tell them theirchurch was wrong.
SPEAKER_01 (18:22):
No, but you said you did something with some, let's
just call them magic coloringpencils.
SPEAKER_00 (18:27):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (18:28):
Yeah, that thing.
Yeah, we're jumping.
Sorry.
SPEAKER_00 (18:30):
No, that's good.
So I decided I'm going to find aBook of Mormon and I'm going to
read it and prove all of youwrong.
SPEAKER_01 (18:38):
Say that all again.
Say that all again because thisis such a great part of the
story.
SPEAKER_00 (18:41):
I'm going to find a Book of Mormon and I'm going to
mark it up and prove that it'swrong.
SPEAKER_01 (18:46):
And you had a specific method of how you're
going
SPEAKER_00 (18:49):
to do this.
What was your method?
I found a pink colored penciland a blue colored pencil and I
was going to mark all of thehorrible, evil things nasty,
gross things in the Book ofMormon in pink.
And then I knew that it talkedabout Jesus Christ.
And so I was going to mark thewords Jesus Christ in blue
because I believe in JesusChrist.
So the things that I believed, Iwas going to mark in blue.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
And were you going to use this?
You had mentioned you're goingto use this with your...
your friend.
You're going to use this withother members of the church.
You are also going to use thisas a reason to now answer the
Protestants who are saying,why'd you leave your church?
Now you've got, look at all thispink.
This is why I left.
Right.
And did that feel morepurposeful and meaningful to
you?
Which again, I, I really commendyou for your honesty.
That is the right way to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
that is right.
Lauren, if we're ready to likereally combat this and question
it, let's go study it.
Let's prove it wrong.
And let's use that as ourreasons to go out.
Not because, oh, I don't likethat commandment or someone
offended me or all these otherreasons, right?
So again, to command you forthat honest seeking heart,
you're like, let me go prove it.
Let's do it.
Now, at this point, had you readthe Book of Mormon?
SPEAKER_00 (19:52):
I don't think fully, no.
SPEAKER_01 (19:55):
Like as a kid up until 16, like Lauren, had you
read the Book of Mormon?
I hadn't really read the Book ofMormon.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (20:01):
The first time I finished it was on my mission.
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
There you go.
There you go.
Okay.
So this was the first time,honestly, that you were like
diving in.
SPEAKER_00 (20:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (20:08):
Okay, so I'm just picturing young Rhea in a, I
don't know, Starbucks, where thesun is just hitting you through
the window just perfectly, andyou've got this Book of Mormon
laid out on this table.
And on the left side, you've gotthis pink pencil.
On the right side, you've gotthis blue pencil.
And you've got a sharpener onthe pink one because you're
like, I'm ready to prove thiswrong.
SPEAKER_00 (20:26):
Literally, I started with the pink pencil in my hand.
So it was late at night, and wedidn't have any Book of Mormon
in the house, and I was lookingand searching.
We didn't have any.
So I got one from a friend.
And it's already marked up alittle bit, but I...
SPEAKER_01 (20:41):
Luckily, they chose a color other than pink or blue.
Okay, good.
Because we've got the evidenceof here.
This Book of Mormon, my favoriteBook of Mormon on this planet is
sitting in front of us rightnow.
Just show the people in theroom.
Open the page.
Just give them a little bit ofa...
All right, there's a little bitof pink.
There's a little bit...
Well, show them the pink first.
SPEAKER_00 (20:59):
So I started reading...
The introduction, I literallyjust started on page one.
I'm in the mind of ananti-Mormon.
And so I'm like marking, oh no,he didn't have power of God to
translate the Book of Mormon.
SPEAKER_01 (21:10):
Pink.
SPEAKER_00 (21:11):
It doesn't show, it doesn't have the full truth of
the gospel.
Pink.
You know, stuff like that.
But then when I get to 1 Nephichapter one and like the actual
verses, it's all, see there's.
SPEAKER_01 (21:24):
Someone else's read.
Yeah.
Okay, we're going through thislisteners right now.
We're looking at this magicalbook.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
It's all blue.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
There's blue there.
Okay.
So what happens?
So you started in pink and thenas you found stuff you liked,
you started marking.
Well, that's not, I agree withthat.
That's good.
Okay.
Keep talking.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
So I was in my bed and it was probably like
midnight and I started readingand I had just gotten home from
work.
I started reading and the firsttime I marked blue, I was like,
okay, crap, I'm already wrong.
You know, cause I, I expected itall to be pink.
You know, I started marking inblue and by the time I made it
to the eighth chapter, firstNephi chapter eight, this is,
(21:59):
This moment is when my lifechanged, when I read chapter
eight.
SPEAKER_01 (22:02):
How much blue had you put up in there up until
chapter eight?
A lot.
So this book is, may I?
Yeah.
So first Nephi.
Yeah, there's a lot of blue inhere.
So what are you thinking at thetime as you're going through
here with the intention?
I
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
was so nervous.
SPEAKER_01 (22:19):
And here's what's fascinating, right?
What is the promise in Moroni10, three to five?
If you're blessed to have thisin front of you, if you search
it with real intent, Now,Lauren, let me get your opinion
on here.
Rhea's real intent, she had realintent.
The real intent was to prove itwrong, but she had real intent.
Do you think that qualifies asMoroni 10.3-5?
SPEAKER_00 (22:41):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (22:42):
Why do you think?
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
Because also, verse 5 talks about It says, ask if
these things are not true.
Yeah.
And so regardless of thequestion you're asking or your
intentions behind it, if youhave the intention, whether it's
positive or negative, to findout the truth, you're going to
find it either way.
It's a promise from HeavenlyFather.
SPEAKER_01 (23:02):
If, as scriptures say, your heart, your intent of
your desires, if you're true andhonest and a seeker of truth, if
you really care about it, whichyou did.
And so this process, it wasjust, the Lord wants sincerity,
right?
And that's what you were givingthis, was a sincere attempt.
And I love looking through thisbook.
There's so much blue.
(23:22):
There's just tons and tons ofblue.
So when you look back and you'regoing through and you get to
chapter eight and you're lookingback at all this blue, what was
going on in your mind?
I
SPEAKER_00 (23:30):
was so nervous.
I was anxious because I knew Iwas like, you know, none of my
family, still to this day, I'mthe only member of my family.
And I have a lot of All of my, alot of my extended family that
lives in San Diego and everyone,we've all kind of left the
church together.
Wow.
So I'm, you know, I have, I havea couple family members that are
(23:51):
members still, but.
SPEAKER_01 (23:52):
But you were getting nervous because you were like,
what was in your, in your heartand mind?
Were you like, this feels right?
Or this sounds right?
Like what was going on?
I
SPEAKER_00 (23:59):
felt the spirit stronger than I ever had in my
entire life.
SPEAKER_01 (24:03):
Wait, say that again.
Say
SPEAKER_00 (24:05):
that again.
I felt the Spirit stronger thanI had in my entire life reading
1 Nephi chapter 8.
SPEAKER_01 (24:10):
Okay, what happened in 8?
SPEAKER_00 (24:11):
When it talks about Lehi's vision and it talks about
the people.
So I was reading and it wasgreat and whatever and then it
got to the part where it talksabout the building, the great
and spacious building and it hasall the people in it that are
mocking the people that are onthe covenant path holding to the
iron rod and eating of the fruitand And I literally saw myself.
(24:36):
I'm very imaginative.
And I saw myself in thatbuilding making fun of the
people that are in the church onthe covenant path.
And literally in this moment, Ibursted into tears.
It was late at night.
I was by myself, and I was justcrying because I felt the Spirit
so strongly, but I was also soscared.
(24:56):
Because in this moment, I knewthat the church was true.
For the first time in my life,you know, like when you're
young, you don't, I mean, yeah,the church is true, but you
don't really know, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (25:07):
Oh yeah.
No, there's a process.
Yeah.
And you, you at this point didwhat all of us do, which is
children.
We are kind of just faithfullyobeying or following what our
parents do, but the scripturesteach us there's a process.
And for the first time in yourlife, you're doing God's pattern
or God's plan, the process.
And it's striking you to thecenter of your soul.
(25:28):
And explain, just help thelisteners understand, what did
you feel when you said, I feltthe Holy Ghost?
What was it?
What did you feel?
It
SPEAKER_00 (25:34):
was literally like it says, like a burning in my
chest.
It was just a feeling in myheart.
And it was like, although I wasso anxious and nervous to, you
know, because I didn't know howto move forward.
SPEAKER_01 (25:50):
Yeah, big change, or you'd be rejecting something
that is really convincing youright now.
SPEAKER_00 (25:55):
Although I was anxious, I...
had the most amount of peace andcalmness about it.
And I don't know, I just waslike, okay, let's do this, I
guess.
SPEAKER_01 (26:06):
Did you keep reading?
SPEAKER_00 (26:07):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (26:08):
And did you keep marking in pink and blue?
SPEAKER_00 (26:10):
Yes, for a little bit.
So in this book, the markingsstop after 1 Nephi chapter 8.
SPEAKER_01 (26:16):
Fascinating.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
So after I had read 1 Nephi chapter 8, that's when I
stopped reading for the night.
And then that Sunday, I met withmy bishop.
That Sunday?
Yeah.
And he was actually my seminaryteacher at the time when I left
the church.
Oh, so you don't know.
So he was like, I remember theday that you left.
(26:38):
And it was a big deal when weleft the church because it was
kind of unexpected.
So he was very excited to meetwith me.
And I'll forever be grateful forhim because he trusted me.
And I remember thinking thatnight that I was reading.
I obviously couldn't sleep.
And I was thinking about thetemple worship.
And the priesthood.
And those two things are stillto this day I have the biggest
(27:02):
testimony of.
My testimony is strongest in thetemple and the priesthood.
And even when we weren'tactively going to church, I
would think about the temple.
And I missed the temple.
I was never going to say that toanybody.
But I did.
I missed it.
And so I was just like thinkingand I was like, if I believe in
this, I can go back to thetemple someday.
(27:22):
Yeah.
And that was super exciting.
Wow.
And so I met with my bishop thatSunday.
And, you know, he believed me.
And we did a temple recommendinterview.
And he was like, well, is thereanything in your life right now
preventing you from entering atemple?
And I was like, in this moment,no.
(27:43):
He was like, okay, here's atemple
SPEAKER_01 (27:44):
recommend.
Well, how did that feel?
SPEAKER_00 (27:46):
Oh, my gosh.
I got in my car and I cried.
I sobbed.
I was so
SPEAKER_01 (27:49):
excited.
So let me give context a littlebit.
So...
in this almost like super shortperiod of time, a matter of
days, with the intention ofgoing into proving this wrong so
that you could justify to yourProtestant friends, to your
friends everywhere, why it isthat I chose, Iria chose, right?
This isn't something thathappened to me.
I chose, based on doctrine andhistory, I chose and did my
(28:13):
research to leave this thingbecause it's wrong.
Like there's reasons behind it.
And within a short period oftime, you feasted upon the words
of Christ and the Holy Ghostconfirms to you the truthfulness
of it in such a powerful waythat you immediately decide,
I've got to get back into this.
SPEAKER_00 (28:30):
And
SPEAKER_01 (28:30):
now you're sitting with your bishop and you're
getting a temple recommend.
SPEAKER_00 (28:33):
Yeah, it's
SPEAKER_01 (28:35):
crazy.
It's so amazing.
There's so many principles here.
And again, this is a missionprep, right?
We're doing this so thatlisteners at home who are
looking for inspiration and forhow to have a great experience
on their mission and are lookingto get some knowledge about how
they can be good missionaries,there's no greater principle
than these two that you've justtaught us all.
One, 2 Nephi 32, feast upon thewords of Christ.
(28:57):
The words of Christ will tell usand show us all things that we
should do.
Feast upon the words of Christ.
Those of you preparing formissions, look, many of us have
never even picked up the bookand really dived into it.
Do it.
There's nothing more importantfor you.
Dive into it like Rhea did.
SPEAKER_00 (29:13):
And you don't have to have a big moment of leaving
the church or a faith crisis oranything.
I don't know.
Find a pink and blue coloredpencil and try and prove it.
SPEAKER_01 (29:24):
I love that so much.
It's so great.
Yeah, and do it with realintent.
And what you'll find is you'llmaybe find some pink.
Good.
Question it.
Challenge it.
Do deeper research.
And this kind of diligent workis what the scriptures tell us.
This is how the mysteries of Godthrough the Holy Ghost get
revealed to us.
This is how we know God.
And you sincerely dove in andyou started to rip it apart and
(29:48):
then you found in your honestmind, wow, I believe in these
things.
This is so powerful that it'seven...
So the second principle that weteach for you listeners at home,
revelation is what leads toconversion.
And so you triggered...
this relationship or thisconversation with your father in
heaven by feasting on his wordsfirst.
(30:09):
And that helped you feel thespirit and convinced you of the
truthfulness.
What better combination, Lauren,what better combination in the,
in, in all of missionary work isthere than getting our friends
and investigators to keepcommitments, to feast upon the
words of Christ, then pray aboutit, to feel the Holy ghost.
Those things set you on the rockthat will never be shaken,
(30:32):
right?
Right?
And that's what happened to you.
So this little crazy likethree-day event that happened to
you, that happened how manymonths before you and I met?
SPEAKER_00 (30:43):
Maybe like two.
SPEAKER_01 (30:44):
Two months?
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
Well, so if we met seven months ago, this all
happened exactly a year ago.
SPEAKER_01 (30:50):
So when you told me this story, I was like, oh my
goodness, this happened five,six years ago because- I could
feel the testimony of you, thediscipleship of Christ, the
faith that you had, therepentance and the faith, all
those principles of the gospel.
It just was about you.
That was your aura.
And I was like, she told me thestory that happened five years
(31:10):
ago.
And you're like, this was threemonths ago.
I'm like, no way.
And then you fast forwardanother how many months in a
year, have a mission call toBrazil, going on a mission.
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
Not a long time.
Less than a year.
SPEAKER_01 (31:23):
Talk about a dramatic, amazing spiritual
experience that takes you fromone path to the other one.
Now, I guess, Lauren, thisbrings in principle number one
too, right?
Choose you this day.
We talk about the scripturalprinciples of, well, God says in
Revelation, I know your worksthat they're hot, neither hot
nor cold.
I would that you're hot or cold,but not lukewarm.
And if you're lukewarm, I spewthe out of my mouth.
(31:45):
Like you did choose a hot and acold, or at least you...
how about this?
We'll frame it like this.
When you're talking to yourfriends in the Protestant
church, your answer was, I'mlukewarm.
I'm only here because I don'tknow.
I didn't really choose any ofthis, but that drove you to be
like, I'm going to choose.
I'm going to choose.
And you chose cold, right?
Which took you down the path,which brought you back to the
(32:06):
hot, which I think is anotherreason why in Elijah or in
Revelation, that principle is sotrue, right?
Elijah said it this way.
How long halt ye between twoopinions?
If the Lord be God, then followhim.
But if Baal, then follow him.
But go find out.
No longer stand thereindifferent.
And you were a little bitindifferent in that Protestant
situation.
And so you did all the work togo, I'm out of this.
(32:29):
You chose the cold, but then itbrought you back.
Super powerful.
I love it so much.
It's so great.
Okay, so then...
I meet you and we're doingmission prep class and I could
just see that the testimony wasreal and deep and your faith and
all of it was there.
And you had this desire to goand serve, go lead other souls
to Christ.
And so fast forward and you getyour mission call to Brazil
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
and
SPEAKER_01 (32:51):
you go out for two months.
Oh wait, you're here now.
SPEAKER_00 (32:54):
Three months.
SPEAKER_01 (32:55):
Three months.
So tell us briefly whathappened.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
In Brazil?
SPEAKER_01 (33:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (33:01):
So in the, I was totally fine in the MTC and, And
there were a couple of days thatI felt weird physically, but I
was like, I'm in a differentcountry and the food's different
and stuff.
So this is normal.
Um, the second I got to thefield, I knew something was
wrong with my body.
Um, but again, differentcountry, I'm walking 10 miles a
(33:23):
day on the equator.
Like it was really fricking hot.
And, um, I don't know.
I just kind of, I kept brushingit off.
And then I started to realizethat the other, you know, girls
that I lived with, they weren'tstruggling physically as much as
I was.
And I know that I'm, I'm alwaysbeen active and, you know,
(33:43):
played sports and stuff.
And so I'm not like, I don'tknow.
And every day just started toget worse and I became weaker
and my body just finally decidedto stop working.
And so president was kind oflike, you'll adjust to the heat,
you know?
But I was like, I mean, I livein San, it doesn't get that hot,
(34:05):
this hot in San Diego, but Iknow what it's like to be
dehydrated and hot.
And this is not that, but he waslike, it is, you'll be fine, you
know?
Um, and so we tried all thesethings and I was just getting
worse.
And so I went to the hospitaland In Brazil?
Quite a few times.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (34:25):
Oh, how was that experience?
SPEAKER_00 (34:26):
Oh my gosh.
Horrible.
SPEAKER_01 (34:30):
That's crazy.
I thought Ukrainian hospitalswere nuts, but my son tells me
about Brazil hospitals.
Not good.
SPEAKER_00 (34:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (34:38):
And so you got to the point where the decision was
made.
We better get home for safety.
SPEAKER_00 (34:42):
And it was very fast.
It was like, if you still feelthis way by the end of the
transfer, we'll talk about whatmaybe it would look like to go
home.
And I was like, okay.
And that made me really sad.
And then it was, that week thatwe had first talked about that
was my worst week physically.
And I was getting really, Icouldn't get out.
(35:02):
My companion had to walk me tothe bathroom.
I couldn't move.
And so he was like, okay, itlooks like we can get you out of
here within the next coupleweeks.
And I was like, oh, so sad.
And I was like, okay.
And they were like, just keep,just work on, we had been
working online.
(35:23):
for a long time because Icouldn't get out of bed.
Um, he's like, just keep workingonline until we can figure it
out.
And that night I got a phonecall from president's assistance
that I was leaving the nextmorning.
Oh, so there was lots of tears.
Yeah.
And I stayed up all night andpacked my bags and made a 52
hour travel home.
(35:44):
And now you're home.
And it, yeah, it's crazy.
I was the first few days.
I was like, felt like I was ondrugs.
I was like, didn't actually feellike I was actually home.
So weird.
It's a huge shock.
It still feels that way.
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
So now you're home and you're going to figure out
what to do.
It could be service mission.
It could go stateside.
It could be a number of otherthings.
You don't know.
And you don't know what thephysical sickness is.
You're still talking to doctorsand trying to figure that out.
SPEAKER_00 (36:08):
Still really sick and still have no idea.
SPEAKER_01 (36:11):
Weird.
Like so weird.
But as we end here, I wanted tostep back and just give you the
chance, not to put you on thespot, but let's say the 10
trillion people that arelistening to this podcast.
SPEAKER_00 (36:22):
Oh, geez.
SPEAKER_01 (36:23):
What message would you have for them, both about
your story and about yourcurrent situation that you're
in?
SPEAKER_00 (36:30):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
Mm-hmm.
That's a big question.
SPEAKER_01 (36:37):
Let's start with the story.
For those out there, like, Ithink the biggest, the most
realistic situation is most kidspreparing for missions are going
to run into problems or not havethe greatest of experiences
because they're indifferent.
SPEAKER_00 (36:52):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (36:52):
about the scriptures and prayer.
They're indifferent.
They just don't care enough toreally dive in.
And you cross your fingers andhope that at some point on their
mission, they'll learn that.
They'll figure it out,
SPEAKER_00 (37:02):
yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:03):
And I think a lot do.
But what would your message beabout that and your own
experience to kids right now?
Let's say you've got thisaudience of kids listening and
they want to learn from you.
What advice would you give themabout how to get ready for their
mission so that their mission isan awesome experience?
SPEAKER_00 (37:18):
Just start.
Like just open the book.
This is the book is why we go onmissions.
You know, the, the book is themain thing that's different
about our religion.
Um, and I mean, when I, for theshort time that I was in Brazil,
my favorite thing to talk aboutwould be just try, even if
you're just curious, just readthe book of Mormon.
(37:39):
Like even if you're anti, justread it.
Cause like, why, why are youanti read it?
You know?
SPEAKER_01 (37:44):
Nice.
SPEAKER_00 (37:47):
So, um,
SPEAKER_01 (37:48):
And why do you like that advice?
Because what would happen if themost people who are honest
seekers would read it?
What would happen?
SPEAKER_00 (37:53):
You'll find out.
You'll find the truth.
The biggest thing that I'velearned on my mission is
communication with God.
It's okay to be frustrated withHeavenly Father.
I have been so frustratedbecause through my experience,
I've been like, I have doneeverything wrong.
(38:15):
I feel like I've done everythingthat I could and on my mission I
was obedient and I you know wokeup on time and I did my
scripture study and I you knowfollowed all the rules I wore my
garments I did literallyeverything I took all my
vitamins like I was doingeverything that I could think of
to be obedient and for somereason Heavenly Father still had
(38:37):
me go down this path of that'sbeen physically and emotionally
painful and that's been reallyfrustrating but Through this
experience, I've learned it'sokay to be frustrated with God,
but it's not okay to shut himout.
It's okay to, and I kind of wasthinking about it the other day
is like, anytime in myfriendships or relationships
(38:59):
that I've, we've like bickeredabout something or we've not
agreed on something.
And every time that we'veactually talked about it in like
a respectful way, I've alwaysleft the conversation with more
respect for them and more lovefor them.
So I've been kind of thinking ofthat a lot when I think of
communicating with HeavenlyFather about this.
SPEAKER_01 (39:21):
So I love this advice, especially coming from
you.
Because in the beginning weestablished that when I met you,
I could just tell you were asincere person.
You're a serious and sincereperson.
The things that you do in lifeare purposeful and meaningful.
And what's more meaningfulthan...
seeking a true, like, realrelationship with what many of
us look at as this, we hopethere's a God out there.
(39:44):
But you look at it like, no,there is a God out there, and I
believe in this God as a person,and I'm going to have a
relationship with him.
And there are different levelsand all kinds of different
aspects of relationship, andit's okay for me to not
understand or to be frustratedabout something, but I'm going
to keep working on thatrelationship.
Like, that's kind of like...
(40:05):
It aligns with what I know aboutyou.
You are sincerely in arelationship with the God who
created us.
Yeah.
And you are trying to have thatreal relationship.
You shared with me, I said, howare you getting through this?
And before we started recordingand you shared the one thing,
then we'll end on this becausethis is a powerful thing.
You shared one thing.
How are you?
Like, I'm like, how are youspending your days?
Like, how are you coping withthis?
(40:26):
How are you doing this?
And your answer was?
SPEAKER_00 (40:27):
Reading.
SPEAKER_01 (40:29):
Reading what?
The Book of Mormon.
The blue parts?
Yes.
And the pink parts?
Yeah.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou for sharing this.
I've been dying to share thisstory.
I love this story so much.
And we'll take some pictures andtry and post some photos of this
book with all the blue and alittle bit of pink in it.
SPEAKER_00 (40:46):
Let's do it.
SPEAKER_01 (40:46):
As a memory for this.
But thanks for joining us.
And honestly, this idea offeasting upon the words of
Christ is life-changing if we doit with a sincere heart.
He says, do it diligently, whichyou did.
And he says, the mysteries ofGod will be unfolded to you.
And those things that getunfolded to us come in a
spiritual way.
And I love your story about,first Nephi 8 just landed and
(41:07):
the spirit came into my heart.
And now you know, you have thatanchor and that foundation.
You know, God lives and you knowthat these scriptures are his
words, not by some logicalexplanation, but but by the
power of the Holy Ghost, right?
Paul said, I didn't come to youwith enticing words of man's
wisdom to convince you of thesethings, but I came to you by the
(41:28):
power of the Holy Ghost.
I preached, my preaching waswith the power of the Holy
Ghost.
We know that's the definition offaith, right?
It's the evidence and substanceof things that we don't see with
our eyes, but that we feeldeeply within our souls.
And that is God convincing us.
That's revelation.
You had it.
I love it so much.
SPEAKER_00 (41:47):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_01 (41:48):
Thanks for coming.
Okay.
Join us next time.
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