November 11, 2024 • 25 mins
Imagine being told that traveling the world for free as a single mom is just a fantasy. Well, it isn't! Join me on Single Moms United as I share my personal journey of defying societal expectations and turning the "impossible" into tangible achievements. From earning a degree and owning a home to supporting my children's education, this episode is bursting with stories designed to inspire single moms to break through limitations. Discover how understanding your personality can be a game-changer in determining your learning path, whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, and learn how to seize new opportunities without waiting for a helping hand.
Mentorship is another powerful tool in the arsenal of success, and I'm here to explain why it matters so much. Having mentors from varied backgrounds, including elderly and male role models, has been instrumental in guiding me through life's multifaceted challenges. This episode unravels the importance of mentors who provide candid feedback and encourage a mindset of endless possibilities. Additionally, I encourage each listener to embrace the role of a mentor themselves, to pass on wisdom and support to others navigating similar journeys. It's about starting each day anew, embracing the fresh possibilities that lie ahead, and harnessing both mentorship and personal experience to thrive.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
If this is your first timejoining, welcome If you are a
repeat listener.
Thank you for your loyalty.
This podcast is all aboutencouraging you and motivating
you, single mom, and invitingcritical thinking with your
(00:26):
parenting.
Now, it's not aone-size-fits-all, but hopefully
you can say, hmm, let me thinkabout that, how can I
incorporate that into myparenting?
Oh, I never thought about that.
That makes good sense, right?
So in the past few weeks I'vebeen talking about or extracting
(00:48):
words from the letter I as atheme as we round out this year
related to parenting.
So this week's word isimpossible.
You know, society has said andwants to provide the label on us
we're lazy, we haveundisciplined kids because they
(01:10):
don't come from a two-parenthousehold.
They've also said that we'rekind of loose and easy as it
relates to possibly sleepingwith any and every man that
comes along.
So and we lack ambition.
That's what society has put alabel on us and it's not fair.
(01:31):
Most of us, right, were raisedin good households.
I come from a two-parenthousehold, like many of you.
I mentioned this maybe twoepisodes ago of why I'm a single
parent.
So if you want more details,you got to go back to that
episode.
Okay, and it'll give you someinformation around my decision.
(01:56):
However, I'm not going to spenda lot of time here.
Look, I'm already done, got offthe highway.
Let me get back on.
As a single mom we think about,or because we're labeled
everything's impossible.
Listen, I can't get a degree, Ican't have a mortgage, I can't
have a six-figure income, Ican't, I can't, I can't.
(02:19):
And that's all because societyhas planted that seed on us that
we can't produce, that we can'tbe anything positive because
we're single moms.
And that's just not true.
And I know, ladies, you'refeeling it right now.
You're feeling overwhelmed,like, oh my gosh, how do I get
(02:43):
to tomorrow, or how do I evenget through today?
Guess what?
I know exactly how you feel.
Been there, done that.
Thanks be to God, I was able tocircumvent negative thoughts
and being able to produce andget beyond that, that stigma of
(03:05):
what society says, that singlemoms are who we are right.
So I'm just going to talk to youabout a few things that I've
been able to accomplish, andagain, not on my own.
It's because I serve a good Godand he just watched out over me
over these years of raising mykids.
So I want to encourage you, andthat's what this podcast is all
(03:30):
about.
All right, first of all, I needyou to turn that frown, that
wrinkled forehead.
I need you to straighten thatup and smile, because I have
some good news for you.
I have some good news for you.
I have some good news for you.
You know, if you want yourdegree, you can get it.
(03:52):
I'm going to talk to you alittle bit about that.
If you don't want to continueto be a renter the rest of your
life, you can achieve that too.
And if you even want your childto graduate from college, if
you want them to have theirdegree, you can do that.
How do we get there?
One of the things that I thoughtI would never experience, and
(04:16):
that is I was able to travelthis country and this world for
free.
I hear you what?
How you travel for free.
That's a good question and Ihave a good answer.
Well, I worked for a company Iwas able to grow in, I was able
(04:38):
to do some job shadowing, and,as I was job shadowing and
learning, I was able to getpromoted to different positions
and, as a result of that, Iended up getting a company card
and with that company card andlearning the inside and out of
(04:59):
the business, I was able totravel for free because they
paid for it.
But one thing you have to havethe desire to do, moms and I
know you're going to say I don'tknow when I'm going to find the
time, but actually it's goingto be even easier for you now
than it was for me back then.
(05:20):
But start learning.
When I started this podcast twoyears ago, I had no idea I would
have over 6,000 peopledownloading my podcast.
I'm just out here trying toencourage single moms.
That that's it.
So if six people download out,I would have been happy, but
(05:45):
6,000 and I'm like wow, what'shappening here?
I'm a one woman show.
Most podcasts have productionstaff that owns particular
responsibilities to producingthe podcast.
I don't have that and, matterof fact, I'm self-taught for
over 6,000 people to belistening and hopefully I'm
(06:09):
making a difference because someof you keep coming back.
I'm thankful for that andthat's why I opened this podcast
with the welcome and the thankyou, because you don't have to
Again, ladies.
You have to want to learn.
That's what I did when it cameto this podcast.
Nobody said, hey, come overhere and go over there and do
(06:31):
this.
I sought it out on my own, soyou got to have that ability,
that determination to say youknow what.
I'm just no longer comfortablewith just doing day-to-day stuff
.
I want to learn something new,right?
I also talked about uncoveringwho you are as it relates to
your personality, because that'sgoing to drive your learning
(06:55):
experience.
If you are an introvert, like Iam, then you might want to
pursue IT opportunities, but ifyou're an extrovert, then you
might want to be one of thosefolks that do a TED Talk that's
out in front of people, or dovideos.
But you have to learn this.
We have to stop waiting forsomebody to come in our lives to
(07:20):
make a difference.
Okay, and I'm going to talk alittle bit about that in a
moment, but that's how I wasable to go across this world,
this country, for free becauseof my ability of wanting to
learn, and not only learn it,but apply it Right.
(07:41):
Yes, my kids are still there.
Lie it right.
Yes, my kids are still there.
So you have to find work-lifebalance.
Kids go to bed.
That's your opportunity, mom,if it's nothing but taking an
hour out of your day to learnsomething.
Now talk about degrees.
If you want your college degree, you can have it.
(08:03):
How do I know I have my degree?
Matter of fact, I have two.
Does it make me better thananyone else?
Absolutely not.
It just means I went throughthe process but I don't have any
student loan debt.
Why don't I have any studentloan debt?
Well, the company I work forthey provided tuition
reimbursement, so basically theypaid for everything as long as
(08:26):
I brought in a C or better, andI'm proud to say I was a 4.0.
I'm happy to say but again, youhave to want this, ladies, and
in my situation as a single mom,I had to practice the hybrid
piece of study.
Some days I did go in class, ina classroom, and then some days
(08:49):
I did online.
Now, in class actually worked alittle better for me because I
was able to ask questions and,remember, I'm an overthinker.
I needed the opportunity to askquestions, specific questions
that work better for me.
But that's just me.
Everybody's different.
You can do this too, ladies.
(09:10):
So when you're going out andyou're looking for a job, then
you're going to want to look forthose opportunities.
Or one of the questions shouldbe do you have tuition
reimbursement?
And then what do they cover?
You don't want to go to acompany and all they support is
business degrees when you wantto do health care.
(09:31):
So you have to do your researchthere.
But you can have it if you wantit.
How do I know?
I just told you I have not one,but two degrees, and it took
hard work, it took sacrifice, ittook discipline to achieve
these goals, and so for that I'mgrateful.
Now you say, hey, I want a largebank account.
(09:53):
You can have that too.
Watch this, I hear you Really.
How do I get that?
Now, be careful.
Be careful, because the moremoney, the more issues you may
encounter.
Right, I'm all about peace.
When you get your income taxcheck in February, march, or
(10:14):
whenever you file your taxes,you take a portion of that money
and you invest it.
Invest it in stock, find you acompany does investments, or
talk to someone that doesinvesting, and once you find
that good investment firm, youtake a good small piece, a chunk
of your income tax return and,instead of going out and buying
(10:38):
stuff you don't need, investthat money.
And then guess what?
Watch it grow.
And then next year it's like,wow, where'd all this money come
from All because you took thetime to invest it.
Oh my gosh, I never expected tohave a savings account this
large.
All because you took theownership and decided you know
(11:01):
what, I'm not going to go outand buy this flat screen TV, or
buy this or buy that Things thatI want versus I need.
It's just that simple.
Now you may also say you knowwhat?
I'm tired of renting.
Oh my goodness, heaven forbidthat the landlords change and
(11:21):
the other one does this and that, and you may be on public
assistance and you know, thearea you live in just may not be
that desirable, but you have toaccept it because of where you
are in life.
And it's okay.
It's okay, I promise you it'sokay.
But if you want to, I'm nolonger going to be a renter.
(11:44):
I want a mortgage.
I want to know what it means tohave a mortgage.
And again, that's also aninvestment, because now you're
establishing equity in the home.
Now, how do you do that?
Well, I just told you, if youtake some of your income tax
return and invest it, then nowyou're building up some cash
(12:06):
that you can take out later foryour down payment.
And then, secondly, part two isyou want to get a copy of your
credit report.
See what's out there, know yourcredit score.
Many organizations out there.
Just make sure you do a BetterBusiness Bureau research before
(12:28):
you do investment and understandwho these companies are.
A lot of fraud is occurringthese days and fake websites and
so forth.
So definitely go to the BetterBusiness Bureau, get an
assessment on these companiesbefore you invest, before you
get with a credit monitoringagency.
(12:50):
You want to know your creditscore.
You want to invest.
So, nick, guess what youalready on your way?
Mom Didn't know it was thatsimple.
It really is just that simple.
Now you just have to bedisciplined.
Once you invest that money,leave it in there, don't touch
it.
Work on your credit score.
(13:11):
You know you may have to applyfor a store credit card to help
build your credit.
Or if you have a family memberyou trust and they trust you,
you can ask them if you can beadded as an authorized user on
their account.
Their payment history willstart reporting on your credit
(13:33):
report.
Didn't know that, did you?
All of these things areachievable, remember, because
when I opened this segment, wetalked about impossible Right,
and when we think aboutimpossible, it's unachievable.
But I'm here to tell youthere's a lot of possibilities
out there that allows us to getto where we need to be.
(13:57):
How do I know, ladies?
I promise you, I'm not sittingon the sideline looking and
telling you what I've seen.
I'm telling you what I'veexperienced, yeah, what I've
experienced and what I'mexperiencing.
So, if I can do it, oh mygoodness, I know you can, all
(14:21):
right.
So let me wrap it up, all right.
Something else that you need inlife as you get away from the
word of impossible andtransition to all of your
possibilities, you need a mentoror mentors Excuse me With the S
mentors.
(14:41):
Why is that important?
You need someone to encourageyou, mom.
Why is that important?
You need someone to encourageyou, mom.
You need someone to be honestwith you.
You need someone to look atthings from a different
perspective.
That's why I'm doing thispodcast, because of things that
I've experienced, and that's whyI encourage you to tell another
(15:04):
single mom.
All because you're looking atit differently, right?
You're taking the information,you're processing it, and you're
processing it in such a way itis taking you to another level.
Find you some mentors Now.
(15:26):
I'm thankful that I've had quitea few mentors over my life's
journey.
Now, my kid's grandfather was amentor to me.
My father died when I was young.
I didn't have that senior maleencouragement.
My kid's grandfather, he, wasthere.
(15:48):
He was always there to give mesome form of encouragement and
also correct me when he thoughtI was doing wrong or going down
the wrong path.
I also had a mother from mychurch.
She was 90 plus years old andshe was instrumental with
(16:09):
providing wisdom of where shecame from and also provided
encouragement.
You know, I don't recommend youidentify a mentor in your age
group.
Sometimes there are hiddenagendas.
I'm just going to be honestwith you.
But you definitely want to haveat least a male role model, an
(16:30):
elderly male role model, right,and then that ensures should
ensure that we stay focused andI'll leave that there when
you're trying to go and whatyou're trying to achieve.
It's important to get a male'sperspective on things, ladies.
They're going to educate you onhow some men think right and
(16:53):
you need that, especially foryou, young ladies, that you know
what I need to be back in arelationship.
Well, that's not always a goodthing.
This is how we got where we areof the so-called relationship.
So we definitely want to takethat opportunity and get a male
(17:14):
role model or male mentor.
And it could be your father,and that's OK, right, and it's
probably safer facts, right.
But if you don't have a fatherin your life, a strong male
figure in your life, they're outthere and I just ask God to
send you one, and he will.
(17:35):
How do I know?
Because my kid's grandma.
I would have never thought hewould have played such a
significant role in my life thathe did.
You definitely want to have somementors in your life and they
each play a different role withhow they encourage you.
(17:56):
That's the thing, right?
So it's not a one size fits alland, as a single mom, we need
that encouragement, we need thatmotivation, because days do get
hard.
Now here's one more mentor Iwould recommend, as I finish out
this episode Now that you'veacquired your mentors, mom, you
(18:20):
turn the tables and you be amentor.
Yeah, because there's otheryoung girls coming behind you
thinking, oh yeah, I can do thison my own.
And then find out oh, my God,nobody told me why am I going
through this?
And you've already been there,just like I'm paying it forward
to you.
Now you pay it forward.
(18:42):
Yes, that's what this is allabout forward.
Yes, that's what this is allabout.
That's why this podcast iscalled Single Moms United,
because we need to work togetherand encourage one another.
We can get through this.
How do I know?
(19:04):
So I've been on this journey awhile.
It hasn't been easy, so I'm noteven going to sit up here and in
front like, yes, it's beengreat, I promise you.
I've had my lights turned off,I've had my car repossessed.
I haven't been able.
I wasn't able to buy newclothes for myself, feeding them
(19:28):
and choosing not to feed myself, and all the sacrifices I made
and when they needed stuff and Ithought I could get this for me
.
Well, I couldn't, because Ineeded to shell out those funds
to make sure that they had.
And no regret.
No regret because I'm a mom now.
And once I made that decisionto become a mom, then guess what
(19:53):
?
Yeah, forget my government name.
My new name is mom, and so Ihave to be that example.
I have to be the one to makesure my kids are represented
well and to teach them Again.
There is no perfect mom, sodon't beat yourself up, ladies.
(20:15):
Don't do that.
You can still be a good mom.
It's a new day.
For a reason, yesterday's gone.
All of those things that youdid yesterday or you felt just
didn't go right.
What's a new day?
It's a new beginning, it's anew mindset, and the Bible says
(20:35):
new mercies.
And I'll take it.
I'm starting off fresh.
It's a new day and I'm so happythat I'm able to start fresh.
Anyway, all right, ladies.
So again we started off thispodcast with talking about
impossible.
As you leave, you should belike hmm, impossible, what?
(20:59):
Right Now, it's all aboutpossibilities and looking at
those, about possibilities andlooking at those, how to
incorporate those possibilitiesinto your life.
So again, you should bethinking.
You should automatically bethinking what's next?
How do I get there?
Hopefully, the examples Iprovided you.
(21:20):
This is the start, and let mestart talking to some more
people and let me get what theythink about it.
Ladies, have a wonderful day,have a marvelous week.
You can do this, I promise you.
I'm not talking about what Iheard.
I've experienced it myself.
Take care, ladies.
(21:41):
Bye-bye.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
If this is your first timejoining, welcome If you are a
repeat listener.
Thank you for your loyalty.
This podcast is all aboutencouraging you and motivating
you, single mom, and invitingcritical thinking with your
(00:26):
parenting.
Now, it's not aone-size-fits-all, but hopefully
you can say, hmm, let me thinkabout that, how can I
incorporate that into myparenting?
Oh, I never thought about that.
That makes good sense, right?
So in the past few weeks I'vebeen talking about or extracting
(00:48):
words from the letter I as atheme as we round out this year
related to parenting.
So this week's word isimpossible.
You know, society has said andwants to provide the label on us
we're lazy, we haveundisciplined kids because they
(01:10):
don't come from a two-parenthousehold.
They've also said that we'rekind of loose and easy as it
relates to possibly sleepingwith any and every man that
comes along.
So and we lack ambition.
That's what society has put alabel on us and it's not fair.
(01:31):
Most of us, right, were raisedin good households.
I come from a two-parenthousehold, like many of you.
I mentioned this maybe twoepisodes ago of why I'm a single
parent.
So if you want more details,you got to go back to that
episode.
Okay, and it'll give you someinformation around my decision.
(01:56):
However, I'm not going to spenda lot of time here.
Look, I'm already done, got offthe highway.
Let me get back on.
As a single mom we think about,or because we're labeled
everything's impossible.
Listen, I can't get a degree, Ican't have a mortgage, I can't
have a six-figure income, Ican't, I can't, I can't.
(02:19):
And that's all because societyhas planted that seed on us that
we can't produce, that we can'tbe anything positive because
we're single moms.
And that's just not true.
And I know, ladies, you'refeeling it right now.
You're feeling overwhelmed,like, oh my gosh, how do I get
(02:43):
to tomorrow, or how do I evenget through today?
Guess what?
I know exactly how you feel.
Been there, done that.
Thanks be to God, I was able tocircumvent negative thoughts
and being able to produce andget beyond that, that stigma of
(03:05):
what society says, that singlemoms are who we are right.
So I'm just going to talk to youabout a few things that I've
been able to accomplish, andagain, not on my own.
It's because I serve a good Godand he just watched out over me
over these years of raising mykids.
So I want to encourage you, andthat's what this podcast is all
(03:30):
about.
All right, first of all, I needyou to turn that frown, that
wrinkled forehead.
I need you to straighten thatup and smile, because I have
some good news for you.
I have some good news for you.
I have some good news for you.
You know, if you want yourdegree, you can get it.
(03:52):
I'm going to talk to you alittle bit about that.
If you don't want to continueto be a renter the rest of your
life, you can achieve that too.
And if you even want your childto graduate from college, if
you want them to have theirdegree, you can do that.
How do we get there?
One of the things that I thoughtI would never experience, and
(04:16):
that is I was able to travelthis country and this world for
free.
I hear you what?
How you travel for free.
That's a good question and Ihave a good answer.
Well, I worked for a company Iwas able to grow in, I was able
(04:38):
to do some job shadowing, and,as I was job shadowing and
learning, I was able to getpromoted to different positions
and, as a result of that, Iended up getting a company card
and with that company card andlearning the inside and out of
(04:59):
the business, I was able totravel for free because they
paid for it.
But one thing you have to havethe desire to do, moms and I
know you're going to say I don'tknow when I'm going to find the
time, but actually it's goingto be even easier for you now
than it was for me back then.
(05:20):
But start learning.
When I started this podcast twoyears ago, I had no idea I would
have over 6,000 peopledownloading my podcast.
I'm just out here trying toencourage single moms.
That that's it.
So if six people download out,I would have been happy, but
(05:45):
6,000 and I'm like wow, what'shappening here?
I'm a one woman show.
Most podcasts have productionstaff that owns particular
responsibilities to producingthe podcast.
I don't have that and, matterof fact, I'm self-taught for
over 6,000 people to belistening and hopefully I'm
(06:09):
making a difference because someof you keep coming back.
I'm thankful for that andthat's why I opened this podcast
with the welcome and the thankyou, because you don't have to
Again, ladies.
You have to want to learn.
That's what I did when it cameto this podcast.
Nobody said, hey, come overhere and go over there and do
(06:31):
this.
I sought it out on my own, soyou got to have that ability,
that determination to say youknow what.
I'm just no longer comfortablewith just doing day-to-day stuff
.
I want to learn something new,right?
I also talked about uncoveringwho you are as it relates to
your personality, because that'sgoing to drive your learning
(06:55):
experience.
If you are an introvert, like Iam, then you might want to
pursue IT opportunities, but ifyou're an extrovert, then you
might want to be one of thosefolks that do a TED Talk that's
out in front of people, or dovideos.
But you have to learn this.
We have to stop waiting forsomebody to come in our lives to
(07:20):
make a difference.
Okay, and I'm going to talk alittle bit about that in a
moment, but that's how I wasable to go across this world,
this country, for free becauseof my ability of wanting to
learn, and not only learn it,but apply it Right.
(07:41):
Yes, my kids are still there.
Lie it right.
Yes, my kids are still there.
So you have to find work-lifebalance.
Kids go to bed.
That's your opportunity, mom,if it's nothing but taking an
hour out of your day to learnsomething.
Now talk about degrees.
If you want your college degree, you can have it.
(08:03):
How do I know I have my degree?
Matter of fact, I have two.
Does it make me better thananyone else?
Absolutely not.
It just means I went throughthe process but I don't have any
student loan debt.
Why don't I have any studentloan debt?
Well, the company I work forthey provided tuition
reimbursement, so basically theypaid for everything as long as
(08:26):
I brought in a C or better, andI'm proud to say I was a 4.0.
I'm happy to say but again, youhave to want this, ladies, and
in my situation as a single mom,I had to practice the hybrid
piece of study.
Some days I did go in class, ina classroom, and then some days
(08:49):
I did online.
Now, in class actually worked alittle better for me because I
was able to ask questions and,remember, I'm an overthinker.
I needed the opportunity to askquestions, specific questions
that work better for me.
But that's just me.
Everybody's different.
You can do this too, ladies.
(09:10):
So when you're going out andyou're looking for a job, then
you're going to want to look forthose opportunities.
Or one of the questions shouldbe do you have tuition
reimbursement?
And then what do they cover?
You don't want to go to acompany and all they support is
business degrees when you wantto do health care.
(09:31):
So you have to do your researchthere.
But you can have it if you wantit.
How do I know?
I just told you I have not one,but two degrees, and it took
hard work, it took sacrifice, ittook discipline to achieve
these goals, and so for that I'mgrateful.
Now you say, hey, I want a largebank account.
(09:53):
You can have that too.
Watch this, I hear you Really.
How do I get that?
Now, be careful.
Be careful, because the moremoney, the more issues you may
encounter.
Right, I'm all about peace.
When you get your income taxcheck in February, march, or
(10:14):
whenever you file your taxes,you take a portion of that money
and you invest it.
Invest it in stock, find you acompany does investments, or
talk to someone that doesinvesting, and once you find
that good investment firm, youtake a good small piece, a chunk
of your income tax return and,instead of going out and buying
(10:38):
stuff you don't need, investthat money.
And then guess what?
Watch it grow.
And then next year it's like,wow, where'd all this money come
from All because you took thetime to invest it.
Oh my gosh, I never expected tohave a savings account this
large.
All because you took theownership and decided you know
(11:01):
what, I'm not going to go outand buy this flat screen TV, or
buy this or buy that Things thatI want versus I need.
It's just that simple.
Now you may also say you knowwhat?
I'm tired of renting.
Oh my goodness, heaven forbidthat the landlords change and
(11:21):
the other one does this and that, and you may be on public
assistance and you know, thearea you live in just may not be
that desirable, but you have toaccept it because of where you
are in life.
And it's okay.
It's okay, I promise you it'sokay.
But if you want to, I'm nolonger going to be a renter.
(11:44):
I want a mortgage.
I want to know what it means tohave a mortgage.
And again, that's also aninvestment, because now you're
establishing equity in the home.
Now, how do you do that?
Well, I just told you, if youtake some of your income tax
return and invest it, then nowyou're building up some cash
(12:06):
that you can take out later foryour down payment.
And then, secondly, part two isyou want to get a copy of your
credit report.
See what's out there, know yourcredit score.
Many organizations out there.
Just make sure you do a BetterBusiness Bureau research before
(12:28):
you do investment and understandwho these companies are.
A lot of fraud is occurringthese days and fake websites and
so forth.
So definitely go to the BetterBusiness Bureau, get an
assessment on these companiesbefore you invest, before you
get with a credit monitoringagency.
(12:50):
You want to know your creditscore.
You want to invest.
So, nick, guess what youalready on your way?
Mom Didn't know it was thatsimple.
It really is just that simple.
Now you just have to bedisciplined.
Once you invest that money,leave it in there, don't touch
it.
Work on your credit score.
(13:11):
You know you may have to applyfor a store credit card to help
build your credit.
Or if you have a family memberyou trust and they trust you,
you can ask them if you can beadded as an authorized user on
their account.
Their payment history willstart reporting on your credit
(13:33):
report.
Didn't know that, did you?
All of these things areachievable, remember, because
when I opened this segment, wetalked about impossible Right,
and when we think aboutimpossible, it's unachievable.
But I'm here to tell youthere's a lot of possibilities
out there that allows us to getto where we need to be.
(13:57):
How do I know, ladies?
I promise you, I'm not sittingon the sideline looking and
telling you what I've seen.
I'm telling you what I'veexperienced, yeah, what I've
experienced and what I'mexperiencing.
So, if I can do it, oh mygoodness, I know you can, all
(14:21):
right.
So let me wrap it up, all right.
Something else that you need inlife as you get away from the
word of impossible andtransition to all of your
possibilities, you need a mentoror mentors Excuse me With the S
mentors.
(14:41):
Why is that important?
You need someone to encourageyou, mom.
Why is that important?
You need someone to encourageyou, mom.
You need someone to be honestwith you.
You need someone to look atthings from a different
perspective.
That's why I'm doing thispodcast, because of things that
I've experienced, and that's whyI encourage you to tell another
(15:04):
single mom.
All because you're looking atit differently, right?
You're taking the information,you're processing it, and you're
processing it in such a way itis taking you to another level.
Find you some mentors Now.
(15:26):
I'm thankful that I've had quitea few mentors over my life's
journey.
Now, my kid's grandfather was amentor to me.
My father died when I was young.
I didn't have that senior maleencouragement.
My kid's grandfather, he, wasthere.
(15:48):
He was always there to give mesome form of encouragement and
also correct me when he thoughtI was doing wrong or going down
the wrong path.
I also had a mother from mychurch.
She was 90 plus years old andshe was instrumental with
(16:09):
providing wisdom of where shecame from and also provided
encouragement.
You know, I don't recommend youidentify a mentor in your age
group.
Sometimes there are hiddenagendas.
I'm just going to be honestwith you.
But you definitely want to haveat least a male role model, an
(16:30):
elderly male role model, right,and then that ensures should
ensure that we stay focused andI'll leave that there when
you're trying to go and whatyou're trying to achieve.
It's important to get a male'sperspective on things, ladies.
They're going to educate you onhow some men think right and
(16:53):
you need that, especially foryou, young ladies, that you know
what I need to be back in arelationship.
Well, that's not always a goodthing.
This is how we got where we areof the so-called relationship.
So we definitely want to takethat opportunity and get a male
(17:14):
role model or male mentor.
And it could be your father,and that's OK, right, and it's
probably safer facts, right.
But if you don't have a fatherin your life, a strong male
figure in your life, they're outthere and I just ask God to
send you one, and he will.
(17:35):
How do I know?
Because my kid's grandma.
I would have never thought hewould have played such a
significant role in my life thathe did.
You definitely want to have somementors in your life and they
each play a different role withhow they encourage you.
(17:56):
That's the thing, right?
So it's not a one size fits alland, as a single mom, we need
that encouragement, we need thatmotivation, because days do get
hard.
Now here's one more mentor Iwould recommend, as I finish out
this episode Now that you'veacquired your mentors, mom, you
(18:20):
turn the tables and you be amentor.
Yeah, because there's otheryoung girls coming behind you
thinking, oh yeah, I can do thison my own.
And then find out oh, my God,nobody told me why am I going
through this?
And you've already been there,just like I'm paying it forward
to you.
Now you pay it forward.
(18:42):
Yes, that's what this is allabout forward.
Yes, that's what this is allabout.
That's why this podcast iscalled Single Moms United,
because we need to work togetherand encourage one another.
We can get through this.
How do I know?
(19:04):
So I've been on this journey awhile.
It hasn't been easy, so I'm noteven going to sit up here and in
front like, yes, it's beengreat, I promise you.
I've had my lights turned off,I've had my car repossessed.
I haven't been able.
I wasn't able to buy newclothes for myself, feeding them
(19:28):
and choosing not to feed myself, and all the sacrifices I made
and when they needed stuff and Ithought I could get this for me
.
Well, I couldn't, because Ineeded to shell out those funds
to make sure that they had.
And no regret.
No regret because I'm a mom now.
And once I made that decisionto become a mom, then guess what
(19:53):
?
Yeah, forget my government name.
My new name is mom, and so Ihave to be that example.
I have to be the one to makesure my kids are represented
well and to teach them Again.
There is no perfect mom, sodon't beat yourself up, ladies.
(20:15):
Don't do that.
You can still be a good mom.
It's a new day.
For a reason, yesterday's gone.
All of those things that youdid yesterday or you felt just
didn't go right.
What's a new day?
It's a new beginning, it's anew mindset, and the Bible says
(20:35):
new mercies.
And I'll take it.
I'm starting off fresh.
It's a new day and I'm so happythat I'm able to start fresh.
Anyway, all right, ladies.
So again we started off thispodcast with talking about
impossible.
As you leave, you should belike hmm, impossible, what?
(20:59):
Right Now, it's all aboutpossibilities and looking at
those, about possibilities andlooking at those, how to
incorporate those possibilitiesinto your life.
So again, you should bethinking.
You should automatically bethinking what's next?
How do I get there?
Hopefully, the examples Iprovided you.
(21:20):
This is the start, and let mestart talking to some more
people and let me get what theythink about it.
Ladies, have a wonderful day,have a marvelous week.
You can do this, I promise you.
I'm not talking about what Iheard.
I've experienced it myself.
Take care, ladies.
(21:41):
Bye-bye.
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