Do you ever feel like money stress is making you a less patient parent? In this episode, we’re talking about how financial pressure quietly affects your emotional bandwidth, your reactions, and the atmosphere in your home. If you’ve ever snapped faster, felt guilty more often, or struggled to stay present because your brain was busy doing math in the background, this conversation will help you name what’s really going on.
You’ll learn why money stress doesn’t stay in the budget category, how it spills into parenting, and what practical steps can help you create more calm, clarity, and peace for your whole family. Because getting your money life calmer is not selfish—it’s one of the most loving things you can do for your home.
In this episode you’ll learn:
- How financial stress affects your patience, tone, and emotional regulation as a parent
- Why money pressure often shows up in parenting moments you think are about behavior
- What it looks like when financial overwhelm is leaking into your home atmosphere
- Why a calmer money plan can create more peace, confidence, and consistency in family life
- Simple first steps to reduce financial stress and regain clarity
Closing CTA
If this episode hit home and you know it’s time to get the stress out of your head and onto paper, a Budget Deep Dive may be your next right step. We’ll look at what’s going on, identify the biggest pressure points, and create a clear path forward so you can lead your money—and your home—with more peace.
Learn more about working with Laura Sexton
. Join the Facebook group Legacy Builders Network.
· Become a master with your money. Learn more here!
· Checkout the resource library here!
Want to ask a question Laura can answer on the podcast? Connect with her here!
Want to receive a live money or career audit? Apply Here
Send an email to Laura@AccelerateYourLegacy.com or send a DM on Instagram @accelerateyourlegacy
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Audio Only - All Participa (00:00):
Have you ever had one of those
moments where a child doessomething incredibly small and
yet your reaction comes out waybigger than the moment deserved?
Like the spilled milk, a missingshoe, a snack crust, right after
you just made dinner.
The field trip form that was duethis morning, and why didn't you
(00:21):
sign it?
The sports fee that you did notknow was coming.
The mom, can I have this?
The constant needs and theconstant questions and the
constant demands, and in themoment it feels like you're
reacting to a child.
But if you slow down for just asecond, you realize maybe you're
(00:42):
not only reacting to your child,maybe you were reacting to the
money stress underneatheverything.
And that is what I wanna talkabout today because I think this
is something a lot of parentsare carrying, but not always
naming.
Laura (00:57):
You are listening to the Money and Legacy Podcast with
Laura Sexton.
I'm helping families pay offdebt, grow wealth, and build a
legacy without sacrificing whatmatters most.
This is where money feels easy.
Audio Only - All Participant (01:11):
So legacy builders.
One thing you may not know isthat this week has been rather
difficult, and if you follow meon social media, you may have
seen that my 3-year-old bustedher head open, getting out of
the car, trying to race herbrother to the front door.
I have spent time in the ER andthen gone back to the ER because
(01:34):
first time we tried to glue thewound hoping that would be
enough.
However, it did come back open,so then we got to go back for
stitches and I've now madefriends with a nurse
practitioner named David.
He's amazing.
But my daughter hates himbecause, he helped me pin her
down to give her stitches, sonobody likes that.
But I, it's got me thinkingabout how I'm reacting to
(01:56):
things.
Why am I rushing, why am I soaggravated about all of these
tiny little things?
And I'm seeing it more and more.
I'm seeing the frustration inthe money and things that like
normally wouldn't bother me, butnow I've got all these medical
(02:16):
bills coming that get meagitated.
And so I wanted to talk to youtoday because, sometimes we're
upset about the little things.
Sometimes we think I need to bemore patient.
I need to be calmer.
I need to stop snapping.
I need to be more present.
And yes, those things are true,but sometimes the reason that
(02:36):
we're struggling to do thosethings is not just because our
parenting strategies are bad,sometimes it's just because
you're mentally doing the mathin the background all day long.
You're thinking about thegroceries, the bills, the debt,
the summer activities that arecoming up.
And if you haven't already madeplans are now you're behind.
You're thinking about the costof clothes, of shoes, of school,
(02:57):
stuff, of sports, of gas, all ofit.
And when your brain is alreadycarrying that kind of financial
pressure, it changes how youshow up.
Not because you're a bad parent,not because you don't love your
kids, but because overloadchanges how people respond.
Money, stress does not stayneatly in the money category.
It definitely spills over intofamily life.
(03:20):
It leaks into your tone, yourpatience.
It leaks into your decisionmaking, your emotional
regulation, your consistency,and boy, couldn't we all be a
little bit more consistent.
Money stress follows you intothe kitchen.
It follows you to school, pickupto bedtime.
How you discipline it followsyou into your marriage.
It follows you into the way youanswer just the simplest of
(03:44):
questions, because when yourbrain is constantly calculating,
worrying, bracing, reworking,and trying to keep everything
afloat, there's just lessbandwidth left over.
And this is one of the reasons Italk so often about the fact
that money is not just math.
Yes, the numbers matter.
And yes, we need a plan.
And yes, budgeting is a goodthing, but money is never just
(04:06):
numbers on a page.
Money affects the fuel of yourlife, the fuel of your home, the
atmosphere of yourrelationships, the level of
peace of tension.
And if you're carryingunprocessed financial stress, it
makes sense that you are feelingit in your parenting.
Now you may be asking the samequestion that I was asking when
(04:27):
this first popped into my head,like, what does it actually look
like when money stress hijacksyour parenting?
Sometimes it looks dramatic andsometimes it can be rather
subtle.
Sometimes it looks like snappingfaster than you want to.
It can look like being irritatedwhen normal kid needs.
Become so expensive feeling, andsometimes it looks like guilt
(04:51):
because you can't do everythingthat you wanna do for your
children.
Think about it.
Your child asks for somethingand before you even answer, you
feel the pain in your chest.
Or worse, before they finishasking, you've already said no,
and then they feel slighted andcheated because you've
interrupted them.
Yeah.
You're not just deciding whetherit's a yes or no.
(05:12):
You're carrying the weight ofeverything, what everything
costs right now.
You're feeling tight, you'refeeling over committed.
You're definitely already overcommitted.
You can say no to things.
This is as much to me as it isto you.
Sometimes this can look likeavoiding conversations entirely.
(05:33):
I don't wanna talk about summercamp.
Do you wanna talk about summercamp?
What about sports?
What about clothes?
What about the class parties andthe fundraisers and the activity
fees and the grocery bill, andthe birthday invites, and the
field trips?
Can you tell that I am drowningin school things right now?
You don't wanna talk about this,not because you don't care.
The whole thing right now justfeels emotionally expensive
(05:57):
before it's even financiallyexpensive.
Sometimes it looks likeoverreacting to waste.
You left the lights on again.
Don't get me started on that.
I still have trauma from when Iwas little.
Food not eaten drives me insane.
The expensive berries rotting inthe fridge because you decided
(06:17):
this week you don't actuallylike raspberries.
What?
I don't even know how the waterbottle got lost again, or the
lunchbox left at school, thebroken item that now has to be
replaced again.
And on the outside, maybe itlooks like, why am I so upset
about this?
This is so little.
But underneath that is often avery real pressure of we do not
(06:40):
have the margin for waste, andI'm tired of spending money
twice.
I feel like every little thingmatters because it all adds up
and sometimes money, stresshijacks your parenting by making
you emotionally unavailable.
You're physically there, butmentally you are inside the
numbers.
You are at the dinner table, butyour brain is in the bills.
You're folding laundry, but yourbrain is in the debt.
(07:01):
You're driving your kidssomewhere, but your brain is in
the grocery budget and theupcoming expenses and that thing
you've forgot, and how much it'sall going to cost.
And this is why I think thisconversation matters so much
because it is hard to calmlyteach patients responsibility,
gratitude, and self-control whenyou feel financially maxed out
yourself.
This does not make youhypocritical, my friend.
(07:22):
But it does explain why it canfeel so dang hard.
Why does financial stress affectparenting so much?
Because parenting alreadyrequires emotional regulation,
and I don't know about you, butI didn't really learn how to do
that well.
Parenting asks you to staysteady when someone else is
melting down.
I'm actually pretty good at thatone.
(07:43):
When my kid is melting down, Iknow that I have to be the calm
presence because I need them tobe calm, but sometimes I wanna
meltdown too.
And parenting, let me tell you,it's going to ask you to repeat
yourself.
And parenting is going to askyou to repeat yourself.
Parenting asks you to beconsistent.
Say the same thing every time.
Parenting asks you to think longterm when children are often
(08:05):
very short term thinkers.
Parenting asks you to lead, notjust react.
It's already a lot.
And then you add the financialpressure on top of that.
Of course, your capacity drops.
When you are under stress, yournervous system is more reactive
and you have less margin, lesspatience, less emotional
recovery time, less ability toabsorb one more thing without
(08:28):
feeling tipped over.
And I think one of the hardestparts is that sometimes your
kids do not even know thatmoney's affecting you.
They just feel the tone and thestress and the tension and the
quickness, and the sharpness andthe inconsistency sometimes, and
they'll even notice that you'rebeing a little bit inconsistent
and use that against you.
(08:49):
They feel that something'sheavy, even if they don't have
the words for it.
What are my kids learning fromthe atmosphere in my home?
Even when I'm not sayinganything directly about the
money?
Are they learning panic,scarcity, avoidance, tension,
fear?
Or they learning that when lifefeels heavy, we can slow down,
tell the truth, make a plan, andlead with peace?
(09:13):
This is not a perfectionquestion.
It's an awareness question.
Does any of this mean that youare a bad parent?
No.
Now, if you're not gonna doanything about it, then maybe,
but the fact that you're eventhinking about it and wanting to
do something about this meansthat you are, by definition, a
good parent.
And because you're thinkingabout this all the time, and it
(09:35):
means you're carrying somethingheavy.
So this is not about shame.
It's not about beating yourselfup.
money.
Stress may not be the number onething in the back of my mind,
but I have all of this timesfive.
Five kids with five needs andfive of them yelling at me at
the same time.
And I signed up for this rodeoand I absolutely love it.
(09:59):
But there are many times thatthere's extra financial stress
because of the five kids.
And right now I don't even knowwhat the medical bills are gonna
look like, having to go to theER twice about the same issue.
I don't know.
But this is not about listeningto an episode and deciding that
(10:19):
you are ruining your kids.
Okay.
And you aren't ruining your kidsbecause you got stressed over
groceries.
Just saying that plainly.
This is all about understandingthe many very good parents are
trying to lead families whilealso carrying intense financial
pressure.
Financial pressure's heavy.
It affects your body, yourbrain, your marriage, your
(10:40):
energy, your decision making,your emotional availability.
So if you have found yourselfthinking, why am I reacting like
this?
Why do I feel so edgy?
Why do I feel like I can neverfully relax?
Why does every little requestfeel like too much?
This is me saying you may beoverloaded and overload changes
(11:02):
how people respond.
I think this is such animportant way to think about it
because when you understand thatyou can stop making this a
character issue and startaddressing it as a systems issue
too.
Maybe you do need more support,you definitely need more rest.
Maybe you need to learn how toprocess more of your emotions
(11:23):
better, and maybe you also needa calmer money plan.
Why would a money plan create acalmer parenting strategy?
Well, because calmer moneycreates calmer reactions.
It's not gonna be perfect.
Certainly not angelic, and it'snot a never get frustrated again
situation, but it's a calmerone.
(11:44):
And when you have a plan, youpanic less.
When you know where the money'sgoing, you are not as easily
blindsided.
In fact, when you know where themoney is going, you feel more
peace when you're spending it.
When you've thought ahead aboutthe groceries, activities,
school costs, clothing, upcomingexpenses, your nervous system
(12:05):
does not have to go into crisismode every time something comes
up.
Clarity reduces mental clutterand less financial chaos means
more emotional margin, and thatmatters so much because when
you're not constantly bracing,you can be more intentional.
You can answer from leadershipinstead of fear.
You can say yes with confidence.
You can say no with confidence.
(12:26):
You can explain decisionswithout guilt dripping all over
them, and most importantly, youcan model peace and stewardship
instead of modeling anxiety andavoidance.
I really wanna say this becauseI think some moms especially
need to hear it.
Getting your money, life calmeris not selfish.
It is not shallow.
(12:47):
It's not just about you and it'snot taking time away from your
family.
This is one way for you to carefor your family, and it's one
way for you to care for theemotional climate of your home,
which allows you to parent, andit allows you to connect with
your husband better.
If the financial side of lifefeels like constant chaos and
part of loving your family isreducing the chaos where you
(13:07):
can, that's stewardship, that'sleadership, that's care.
What can you do if you feel likemoney stress is just spilling
over onto your kids?
First, you gotta name ithonestly, not dramatically, not
shamefully, just honestly, thisis not just parenting stress or
financial stress affecting yourparenting.
(13:27):
That sentence alone can beclarifying because sometimes
once you name it, you stopfighting the wrong battle.
You cannot.
Change what you have not named.
So I want you to name itclearly.
You stop only trying to becomemore patient in a vacuum, and
you start going, Hmm, what ismaking calm so hard to access
right now?
(13:50):
Then you gotta get the numbersoutta your head and onto paper.
So many people are trying tocarry their whole financial life
inside their heads.
No wonder it feels heavy.
Your brain is meant to haveideas, not to hold ideas.
So of all the bills and the debtand the groceries and the
upcoming expenses, and theuncertainties and the fears are
swirling around in your mind,that's not what it's meant to
do.
(14:10):
Write it down and get it out.
The swirling is exhausting, sowrite it down.
What's stressing you out rightnow?
What feels uncertain, what feelsbehind, what feels too close for
comfort?
What is coming up that you donot feel ready for?
Write it all down and thenidentify what your top three
(14:31):
pressure points are.
Now, not every problem is goingto be something that we can
solve today, but if we canidentify those three pressure
points, then we know what weneed to be tackling right now.
Groceries can be insane.
How do we change that consumerdebt?
I know somebody that would loveto get you out of consumer debt
(14:51):
and can create a plan for you.
It's me.
Maybe it's an inconsistentincome.
Now one of two things can happenhere.
We can find you a moreconsistent income or we can
teach you how to createcertainty inside of that
inconsistent income.
Maybe it's childcare.
'cause that can get reallyexpensive depending on the age
(15:13):
of your child and where you'relocated.
Maybe it's school and activitycosts.
Why do I have to spend so muchextra money on top of what I'm
already paying for school?
Maybe it's that you have no planfor a regular.
Or uncommon expenses.
Create a plan.
Figure out where your pressurepoint is so we can make a plan
(15:34):
for it.
Okay?
Fourth, you need to decide yournext right step.
This is not the whole staircase,my friend.
It's not a five year masterplan.
It's not a complete reinventionof your life.
By Friday, it's the next rightthing.
Peace is not usually going tocome all at once, but clarity
(15:57):
can come quickly and clarity isoften the first thing that
lowers the emotional temperaturein your home.
So is the next right stepsitting down with your spouse
and talking about money?
Is it making a list of monthlybills?
Is it deciding how you'rehandling sports this season?
Is it finally just opening yourstatements and telling the
truth?
(16:18):
You have to get clear in orderto have peace.
And fifth, lower the noise.
You do not need 12 opinions, myfriend.
You do not need to be absorbingfinancial content all day long.
You do not need to be living inconstant comparison with what
everybody else is doing, buying,posting, where they're putting
their kids, pretending that theycan afford things.
(16:41):
Sometimes part of calming yourmoney is reducing the voices.
You don't need 14 differentplaces.
I myself, love this part of theindustry and I love taking in
all the knowledge, but I myselfhave recently had to pare it
down and decide I'm only goingto listen to these three people.
And then from there I pickedone.
(17:02):
If there's too many voices, youget confused or you get
overwhelmed, or you can't decidewhich one you're supposed to do.
So you try to do a little fromhere and a little from here, and
a little from here.
And if they all have differentplans and we're trying to do a
little bit of each plan, guesswhat?
We're not doing our plan.
There is no prize for carryingall of it and bringing in all of
their knowledge and you couldbring in all the knowledge in
(17:24):
the entire world.
But if you don't do something,what's the point?
and you're definitely not doinganything about trying to fix the
peace in your home, are you?
A calmer money situation makesmore patience possible.
Now, this is not automatic, butit is accessible.
It makes consistency possible.
(17:46):
It makes confidence in sayingyes or no possible because some
of the guilt around parentingdecisions is really just
uncertainty.
When you're clear, you canrespond with more steadiness.
Calmer money also creates lessguilt, less panic, less second
guessing, less background humof, I don't know if we're gonna
be okay.
And maybe most importantly, itcreates more emotional presence,
(18:10):
more room to teach instead ofjust react.
More room to enjoy yourchildren.
Don't we all want that?
More room to model peace,intentionality, gratitude,
stewardship.
I think this is such a beautifulpicture that we're trying to
create, because at the end ofthe day, it's not about being
obsessed with money.
It's about removing money as aconstant source of static.
(18:31):
So you can actually live yourlife.
You can lead your home, you candiscipline and train and teach
and disciple your kids.
You can actually be presentenough to notice what needs to
be noticed.
So who are you as a parent whenyou're not constantly under
financial pressure?
Wouldn't you like to find outthere's a lot of hope if some of
(18:55):
this feels deep right now,because again, this is not a
perfection conversation.
You don't need to be a perfectmom or have the perfect budget
to become a calmer parent, butless financial Chaos really does
make calm easier to access, youmay not fix everything
overnight, but you canabsolutely start reducing the
chaos.
You can face what is true.
You can stop avoiding thenumbers.
(19:16):
You can stop carrying it allmentally.
You can make one clear plan.
You can take one wise next step.
You can build systems thatsupport peace and those small
shifts matter more than peoplerealize.
Because when the money side oflife gets calmer, the whole home
feels a little calmer too.
Not because money's everything,but because constant
uncertainty.
It's exhausting.
(19:37):
So if you're in that place rightnow, I just wanna encourage you.
You're not crazy, you're notweak, you're not failing.
And you're certainly not theonly one, my friend.
You may just need some clarity,some support, and a clear next
step.
So let me leave you with this.
What would change in your homeif money no longer had the power
to hijack your patience, yourpresence, and your peace?
(19:59):
What would change in your tone,in your reaction in your
marriage?
What would change in yourconfidence in the way you answer
your kids in the atmosphere ofyour home?
Because sometimes what you needmost is not more guilt.
It's not more pressure, it's notmore generic advice.
You need clarity, and that isexactly what I offer inside of
my budget.
Deep dive, because sometimes youdo not need a whole long program
(20:20):
before you can breathe again.
Sometimes you just need onefocused, honest look at the
numbers, the pressure points,and the next right steps.
A budget deep dive is designedto help you get the stress out
of your head and onto paper, seewhat's actually going on, and
figure out what needs to happennext.
So if this episode hit home foryou, and you were ready to get
clear on your numbers and calmsome of the stress, reach out to
(20:41):
me about a budget deep dive.
Because getting calmer withmoney does not just help your
budget.
It helps your whole home.
Go out and make a difference.
Have you ever had one of those
moments where a child doessomething incredibly small and
yet your reaction comes out waybigger than the moment deserved?
Like the spilled milk, a missingshoe, a snack crust, right after
you just made dinner.
The field trip form that was duethis morning, and why didn't you
(00:21):
sign it?
The sports fee that you did notknow was coming.
The mom, can I have this?
The constant needs and theconstant questions and the
constant demands, and in themoment it feels like you're
reacting to a child.
But if you slow down for just asecond, you realize maybe you're
(00:42):
not only reacting to your child,maybe you were reacting to the
money stress underneatheverything.
And that is what I wanna talkabout today because I think this
is something a lot of parentsare carrying, but not always
naming.
Laura (00:57):
You are listening to the Money and Legacy Podcast with
Laura Sexton.
I'm helping families pay offdebt, grow wealth, and build a
legacy without sacrificing whatmatters most.
This is where money feels easy.
Audio Only - All Participant (01:11):
So legacy builders.
One thing you may not know isthat this week has been rather
difficult, and if you follow meon social media, you may have
seen that my 3-year-old bustedher head open, getting out of
the car, trying to race herbrother to the front door.
I have spent time in the ER andthen gone back to the ER because
(01:34):
first time we tried to glue thewound hoping that would be
enough.
However, it did come back open,so then we got to go back for
stitches and I've now madefriends with a nurse
practitioner named David.
He's amazing.
But my daughter hates himbecause, he helped me pin her
down to give her stitches, sonobody likes that.
But I, it's got me thinkingabout how I'm reacting to
(01:56):
things.
Why am I rushing, why am I soaggravated about all of these
tiny little things?
And I'm seeing it more and more.
I'm seeing the frustration inthe money and things that like
normally wouldn't bother me, butnow I've got all these medical
(02:16):
bills coming that get meagitated.
And so I wanted to talk to youtoday because, sometimes we're
upset about the little things.
Sometimes we think I need to bemore patient.
I need to be calmer.
I need to stop snapping.
I need to be more present.
And yes, those things are true,but sometimes the reason that
(02:36):
we're struggling to do thosethings is not just because our
parenting strategies are bad,sometimes it's just because
you're mentally doing the mathin the background all day long.
You're thinking about thegroceries, the bills, the debt,
the summer activities that arecoming up.
And if you haven't already madeplans are now you're behind.
You're thinking about the costof clothes, of shoes, of school,
(02:57):
stuff, of sports, of gas, all ofit.
And when your brain is alreadycarrying that kind of financial
pressure, it changes how youshow up.
Not because you're a bad parent,not because you don't love your
kids, but because overloadchanges how people respond.
Money, stress does not stayneatly in the money category.
It definitely spills over intofamily life.
(03:20):
It leaks into your tone, yourpatience.
It leaks into your decisionmaking, your emotional
regulation, your consistency,and boy, couldn't we all be a
little bit more consistent.
Money stress follows you intothe kitchen.
It follows you to school, pickupto bedtime.
How you discipline it followsyou into your marriage.
It follows you into the way youanswer just the simplest of
(03:44):
questions, because when yourbrain is constantly calculating,
worrying, bracing, reworking,and trying to keep everything
afloat, there's just lessbandwidth left over.
And this is one of the reasons Italk so often about the fact
that money is not just math.
Yes, the numbers matter.
And yes, we need a plan.
And yes, budgeting is a goodthing, but money is never just
(04:06):
numbers on a page.
Money affects the fuel of yourlife, the fuel of your home, the
atmosphere of yourrelationships, the level of
peace of tension.
And if you're carryingunprocessed financial stress, it
makes sense that you are feelingit in your parenting.
Now you may be asking the samequestion that I was asking when
(04:27):
this first popped into my head,like, what does it actually look
like when money stress hijacksyour parenting?
Sometimes it looks dramatic andsometimes it can be rather
subtle.
Sometimes it looks like snappingfaster than you want to.
It can look like being irritatedwhen normal kid needs.
Become so expensive feeling, andsometimes it looks like guilt
(04:51):
because you can't do everythingthat you wanna do for your
children.
Think about it.
Your child asks for somethingand before you even answer, you
feel the pain in your chest.
Or worse, before they finishasking, you've already said no,
and then they feel slighted andcheated because you've
interrupted them.
Yeah.
You're not just deciding whetherit's a yes or no.
(05:12):
You're carrying the weight ofeverything, what everything
costs right now.
You're feeling tight, you'refeeling over committed.
You're definitely already overcommitted.
You can say no to things.
This is as much to me as it isto you.
Sometimes this can look likeavoiding conversations entirely.
(05:33):
I don't wanna talk about summercamp.
Do you wanna talk about summercamp?
What about sports?
What about clothes?
What about the class parties andthe fundraisers and the activity
fees and the grocery bill, andthe birthday invites, and the
field trips?
Can you tell that I am drowningin school things right now?
You don't wanna talk about this,not because you don't care.
The whole thing right now justfeels emotionally expensive
(05:57):
before it's even financiallyexpensive.
Sometimes it looks likeoverreacting to waste.
You left the lights on again.
Don't get me started on that.
I still have trauma from when Iwas little.
Food not eaten drives me insane.
The expensive berries rotting inthe fridge because you decided
(06:17):
this week you don't actuallylike raspberries.
What?
I don't even know how the waterbottle got lost again, or the
lunchbox left at school, thebroken item that now has to be
replaced again.
And on the outside, maybe itlooks like, why am I so upset
about this?
This is so little.
But underneath that is often avery real pressure of we do not
(06:40):
have the margin for waste, andI'm tired of spending money
twice.
I feel like every little thingmatters because it all adds up
and sometimes money, stresshijacks your parenting by making
you emotionally unavailable.
You're physically there, butmentally you are inside the
numbers.
You are at the dinner table, butyour brain is in the bills.
You're folding laundry, but yourbrain is in the debt.
(07:01):
You're driving your kidssomewhere, but your brain is in
the grocery budget and theupcoming expenses and that thing
you've forgot, and how much it'sall going to cost.
And this is why I think thisconversation matters so much
because it is hard to calmlyteach patients responsibility,
gratitude, and self-control whenyou feel financially maxed out
yourself.
This does not make youhypocritical, my friend.
(07:22):
But it does explain why it canfeel so dang hard.
Why does financial stress affectparenting so much?
Because parenting alreadyrequires emotional regulation,
and I don't know about you, butI didn't really learn how to do
that well.
Parenting asks you to staysteady when someone else is
melting down.
I'm actually pretty good at thatone.
(07:43):
When my kid is melting down, Iknow that I have to be the calm
presence because I need them tobe calm, but sometimes I wanna
meltdown too.
And parenting, let me tell you,it's going to ask you to repeat
yourself.
And parenting is going to askyou to repeat yourself.
Parenting asks you to beconsistent.
Say the same thing every time.
Parenting asks you to think longterm when children are often
(08:05):
very short term thinkers.
Parenting asks you to lead, notjust react.
It's already a lot.
And then you add the financialpressure on top of that.
Of course, your capacity drops.
When you are under stress, yournervous system is more reactive
and you have less margin, lesspatience, less emotional
recovery time, less ability toabsorb one more thing without
(08:28):
feeling tipped over.
And I think one of the hardestparts is that sometimes your
kids do not even know thatmoney's affecting you.
They just feel the tone and thestress and the tension and the
quickness, and the sharpness andthe inconsistency sometimes, and
they'll even notice that you'rebeing a little bit inconsistent
and use that against you.
(08:49):
They feel that something'sheavy, even if they don't have
the words for it.
What are my kids learning fromthe atmosphere in my home?
Even when I'm not sayinganything directly about the
money?
Are they learning panic,scarcity, avoidance, tension,
fear?
Or they learning that when lifefeels heavy, we can slow down,
tell the truth, make a plan, andlead with peace?
(09:13):
This is not a perfectionquestion.
It's an awareness question.
Does any of this mean that youare a bad parent?
No.
Now, if you're not gonna doanything about it, then maybe,
but the fact that you're eventhinking about it and wanting to
do something about this meansthat you are, by definition, a
good parent.
And because you're thinkingabout this all the time, and it
(09:35):
means you're carrying somethingheavy.
So this is not about shame.
It's not about beating yourselfup.
money.
Stress may not be the number onething in the back of my mind,
but I have all of this timesfive.
Five kids with five needs andfive of them yelling at me at
the same time.
And I signed up for this rodeoand I absolutely love it.
(09:59):
But there are many times thatthere's extra financial stress
because of the five kids.
And right now I don't even knowwhat the medical bills are gonna
look like, having to go to theER twice about the same issue.
I don't know.
But this is not about listeningto an episode and deciding that
(10:19):
you are ruining your kids.
Okay.
And you aren't ruining your kidsbecause you got stressed over
groceries.
Just saying that plainly.
This is all about understandingthe many very good parents are
trying to lead families whilealso carrying intense financial
pressure.
Financial pressure's heavy.
It affects your body, yourbrain, your marriage, your
(10:40):
energy, your decision making,your emotional availability.
So if you have found yourselfthinking, why am I reacting like
this?
Why do I feel so edgy?
Why do I feel like I can neverfully relax?
Why does every little requestfeel like too much?
This is me saying you may beoverloaded and overload changes
(11:02):
how people respond.
I think this is such animportant way to think about it
because when you understand thatyou can stop making this a
character issue and startaddressing it as a systems issue
too.
Maybe you do need more support,you definitely need more rest.
Maybe you need to learn how toprocess more of your emotions
(11:23):
better, and maybe you also needa calmer money plan.
Why would a money plan create acalmer parenting strategy?
Well, because calmer moneycreates calmer reactions.
It's not gonna be perfect.
Certainly not angelic, and it'snot a never get frustrated again
situation, but it's a calmerone.
(11:44):
And when you have a plan, youpanic less.
When you know where the money'sgoing, you are not as easily
blindsided.
In fact, when you know where themoney is going, you feel more
peace when you're spending it.
When you've thought ahead aboutthe groceries, activities,
school costs, clothing, upcomingexpenses, your nervous system
(12:05):
does not have to go into crisismode every time something comes
up.
Clarity reduces mental clutterand less financial chaos means
more emotional margin, and thatmatters so much because when
you're not constantly bracing,you can be more intentional.
You can answer from leadershipinstead of fear.
You can say yes with confidence.
You can say no with confidence.
(12:26):
You can explain decisionswithout guilt dripping all over
them, and most importantly, youcan model peace and stewardship
instead of modeling anxiety andavoidance.
I really wanna say this becauseI think some moms especially
need to hear it.
Getting your money, life calmeris not selfish.
It is not shallow.
(12:47):
It's not just about you and it'snot taking time away from your
family.
This is one way for you to carefor your family, and it's one
way for you to care for theemotional climate of your home,
which allows you to parent, andit allows you to connect with
your husband better.
If the financial side of lifefeels like constant chaos and
part of loving your family isreducing the chaos where you
(13:07):
can, that's stewardship, that'sleadership, that's care.
What can you do if you feel likemoney stress is just spilling
over onto your kids?
First, you gotta name ithonestly, not dramatically, not
shamefully, just honestly, thisis not just parenting stress or
financial stress affecting yourparenting.
(13:27):
That sentence alone can beclarifying because sometimes
once you name it, you stopfighting the wrong battle.
You cannot.
Change what you have not named.
So I want you to name itclearly.
You stop only trying to becomemore patient in a vacuum, and
you start going, Hmm, what ismaking calm so hard to access
right now?
(13:50):
Then you gotta get the numbersoutta your head and onto paper.
So many people are trying tocarry their whole financial life
inside their heads.
No wonder it feels heavy.
Your brain is meant to haveideas, not to hold ideas.
So of all the bills and the debtand the groceries and the
upcoming expenses, and theuncertainties and the fears are
swirling around in your mind,that's not what it's meant to
do.
(14:10):
Write it down and get it out.
The swirling is exhausting, sowrite it down.
What's stressing you out rightnow?
What feels uncertain, what feelsbehind, what feels too close for
comfort?
What is coming up that you donot feel ready for?
Write it all down and thenidentify what your top three
(14:31):
pressure points are.
Now, not every problem is goingto be something that we can
solve today, but if we canidentify those three pressure
points, then we know what weneed to be tackling right now.
Groceries can be insane.
How do we change that consumerdebt?
I know somebody that would loveto get you out of consumer debt
(14:51):
and can create a plan for you.
It's me.
Maybe it's an inconsistentincome.
Now one of two things can happenhere.
We can find you a moreconsistent income or we can
teach you how to createcertainty inside of that
inconsistent income.
Maybe it's childcare.
'cause that can get reallyexpensive depending on the age
(15:13):
of your child and where you'relocated.
Maybe it's school and activitycosts.
Why do I have to spend so muchextra money on top of what I'm
already paying for school?
Maybe it's that you have no planfor a regular.
Or uncommon expenses.
Create a plan.
Figure out where your pressurepoint is so we can make a plan
(15:34):
for it.
Okay?
Fourth, you need to decide yournext right step.
This is not the whole staircase,my friend.
It's not a five year masterplan.
It's not a complete reinventionof your life.
By Friday, it's the next rightthing.
Peace is not usually going tocome all at once, but clarity
(15:57):
can come quickly and clarity isoften the first thing that
lowers the emotional temperaturein your home.
So is the next right stepsitting down with your spouse
and talking about money?
Is it making a list of monthlybills?
Is it deciding how you'rehandling sports this season?
Is it finally just opening yourstatements and telling the
truth?
(16:18):
You have to get clear in orderto have peace.
And fifth, lower the noise.
You do not need 12 opinions, myfriend.
You do not need to be absorbingfinancial content all day long.
You do not need to be living inconstant comparison with what
everybody else is doing, buying,posting, where they're putting
their kids, pretending that theycan afford things.
(16:41):
Sometimes part of calming yourmoney is reducing the voices.
You don't need 14 differentplaces.
I myself, love this part of theindustry and I love taking in
all the knowledge, but I myselfhave recently had to pare it
down and decide I'm only goingto listen to these three people.
And then from there I pickedone.
(17:02):
If there's too many voices, youget confused or you get
overwhelmed, or you can't decidewhich one you're supposed to do.
So you try to do a little fromhere and a little from here, and
a little from here.
And if they all have differentplans and we're trying to do a
little bit of each plan, guesswhat?
We're not doing our plan.
There is no prize for carryingall of it and bringing in all of
their knowledge and you couldbring in all the knowledge in
(17:24):
the entire world.
But if you don't do something,what's the point?
and you're definitely not doinganything about trying to fix the
peace in your home, are you?
A calmer money situation makesmore patience possible.
Now, this is not automatic, butit is accessible.
It makes consistency possible.
(17:46):
It makes confidence in sayingyes or no possible because some
of the guilt around parentingdecisions is really just
uncertainty.
When you're clear, you canrespond with more steadiness.
Calmer money also creates lessguilt, less panic, less second
guessing, less background humof, I don't know if we're gonna
be okay.
And maybe most importantly, itcreates more emotional presence,
(18:10):
more room to teach instead ofjust react.
More room to enjoy yourchildren.
Don't we all want that?
More room to model peace,intentionality, gratitude,
stewardship.
I think this is such a beautifulpicture that we're trying to
create, because at the end ofthe day, it's not about being
obsessed with money.
It's about removing money as aconstant source of static.
(18:31):
So you can actually live yourlife.
You can lead your home, you candiscipline and train and teach
and disciple your kids.
You can actually be presentenough to notice what needs to
be noticed.
So who are you as a parent whenyou're not constantly under
financial pressure?
Wouldn't you like to find outthere's a lot of hope if some of
(18:55):
this feels deep right now,because again, this is not a
perfection conversation.
You don't need to be a perfectmom or have the perfect budget
to become a calmer parent, butless financial Chaos really does
make calm easier to access, youmay not fix everything
overnight, but you canabsolutely start reducing the
chaos.
You can face what is true.
You can stop avoiding thenumbers.
(19:16):
You can stop carrying it allmentally.
You can make one clear plan.
You can take one wise next step.
You can build systems thatsupport peace and those small
shifts matter more than peoplerealize.
Because when the money side oflife gets calmer, the whole home
feels a little calmer too.
Not because money's everything,but because constant
uncertainty.
It's exhausting.
(19:37):
So if you're in that place rightnow, I just wanna encourage you.
You're not crazy, you're notweak, you're not failing.
And you're certainly not theonly one, my friend.
You may just need some clarity,some support, and a clear next
step.
So let me leave you with this.
What would change in your homeif money no longer had the power
to hijack your patience, yourpresence, and your peace?
(19:59):
What would change in your tone,in your reaction in your
marriage?
What would change in yourconfidence in the way you answer
your kids in the atmosphere ofyour home?
Because sometimes what you needmost is not more guilt.
It's not more pressure, it's notmore generic advice.
You need clarity, and that isexactly what I offer inside of
my budget.
Deep dive, because sometimes youdo not need a whole long program
(20:20):
before you can breathe again.
Sometimes you just need onefocused, honest look at the
numbers, the pressure points,and the next right steps.
A budget deep dive is designedto help you get the stress out
of your head and onto paper, seewhat's actually going on, and
figure out what needs to happennext.
So if this episode hit home foryou, and you were ready to get
clear on your numbers and calmsome of the stress, reach out to
(20:41):
me about a budget deep dive.
Because getting calmer withmoney does not just help your
budget.
It helps your whole home.
Go out and make a difference.
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