April 8, 2026 • 26 mins
What if the money habits our culture calls “normal” are actually the very things keeping families broke, stressed, and stuck? In this episode, Laura unpacks the consumption culture lie and exposes the everyday money patterns that feel common but quietly steal margin, peace, and legacy-building momentum.
From casual debt and emotional spending to convenience culture, lifestyle creep, and the pressure to keep upgrading, this episode challenges listeners to stop accepting “normal” as the goal. Instead, Laura makes the case for intentional living, value-based spending, and building a family legacy with purpose.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why so many “normal” money habits are actually harmful
- How consumption culture trains families to stay reactive
- The emotional and financial cost of debt, convenience, and impulse spending
- Why legacy requires intention, not just good intentions
- Simple ways to start rejecting cultural defaults and building peace instead
Ready for your next right money step?
If this episode hit home and you want help sorting through the spending patterns, stress points, and habits keeping your family stuck, book a clarity call at AccelerateYourLegacy.com/claritycall.
Learn more about working with Laura Sexton
. Join the Facebook group Legacy Builders Network.
· Become a master with your money. Learn more here!
· Checkout the resource library here!
Want to ask a question Laura can answer on the podcast? Connect with her here!
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Send an email to Laura@AccelerateYourLegacy.com or send a DM on Instagram @accelerateyourlegacy
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Episode Transcript
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Laura (00:00):
Have you ever looked around and realized that a lot
(00:01):
of what we call normal withmoney is actually kind of crazy?
Yeah.
Normal is keeping familiesbroke, anxious and stuck being
normal.
That's not the goal.
Today I wanna talk to you aboutthe consumption culture lie and
why so many normal money habitsare keeping families from peace.
You are listening to the Moneyand Legacy Podcast with Laura
(00:23):
Sexton.
I'm helping families pay offdebt, grow wealth, and build a
legacy without sacrificing whatmatters most.
This is where money feels easy.
Audio Only - All Participa (00:33):
Hey, legacy builders.
Thank you for jumping on thepodcast.
Today, we are gonna be talkingabout the consumption culture
lie, but I wanna let you knowthe next couple weeks you are
not going to be hearing yournormal money episodes.
I actually have a couple reallyawesome interviews that I just
cannot wait for you to hear.
Now, I was going to add them asbonus episodes, but I am in the
(00:55):
middle of a cross country moveand I'm trying to pack up my
entire house.
So instead of sitting here andpushing myself.
Beyond my actual time margin.
Yes, I do budget my time.
What I'm gonna do is I'm goingto practice what I preach and
I'm going to steward my time alittle bit better and share with
you these amazing, and I mean,absolutely phenomenal.
(01:18):
For today, we are gonna talkabout the lie that is
consumption culture.
I wish normal looked like havingmoney in the bank and doing a
really good job stewardingwhat's been given to us, but
normal in our culture right nowis having a giant, I love debt
score.
(01:39):
The credit score.
Has its place.
I understand why it was createdand I understand what it's used
for.
However, I don't understand whywe worship it, like it's the be
all, end all.
It came around in the lateeighties, early nineties.
The FICO score is younger than Iam.
(02:02):
I don't know if that makes meold or if that says that this
isn't something to be, you know,heralded as the gold standard of
money.
The gold standard of money ishaving money in the bank and
having the flex of having cashto pay for stuff.
That's the flex my friends.
That's what we're after.
But in all reality, that'sweird.
So today I wanna teach you howto be weird.
(02:25):
The consumption culture lies usthat if we get more stuff, we're
going to be happier.
Sometimes the more stuff wehave, the more stressed out we
are, the more responsibilitieswe have.
You know, biggie Small said itbest.
More money, more problems, butit's not more money, more
problems.
Because if I had more money andI was stewarding it, well that
wouldn't be a problem.
(02:46):
But the things that I acquire,those are problems.
The more things you have, themore people you have to know you
have.
You know, you bought a boat, yougotta know somebody that knows
how to fix boats.
You bought a car and a fourwheeler.
Guess what?
You gotta know those mechanicsyou just bought.
A rental property, you need tohave a management company and
you need to know a good plumberand you need to, there are a lot
(03:06):
of things you have to know whenyou acquire more things, and we
are constantly being told thatmore is normal, faster is
better, and ease is worth anyprice, but that's a lie.
More may be normal in thisculture, but most people that
have more and more and more andmore and more.
(03:26):
Have more and more, more debt togo with it because they're not
able to pay cash for the thingsthat they're buying.
The lie says that, oh, buying'sneutral.
Don't worry about it.
Constant upgrading, totallynormal.
Wanting less, that's weird, butwanting less isn't sacrifice.
Wanting less means I'm justgonna have less to manage.
(03:48):
I have less things to put awayat the end of the night.
I have less mess to clean up.
Please.
If you're a mother, holler, ifyou hear me.
Culture teaches us to behavelike consumers first, but we're
called to be builders, owners,stewards of the things around
us.
(04:08):
You see, we are to create.
The world that we wanna live in,not just go with the flow and do
what everybody else is doing,but decide ahead of time what we
want our life to look like andthen work towards that.
Now, work that'scounter-cultural.
There are a whole lot of peoplethat don't wanna have to work.
They want you to hand them moneyand they don't wanna have to do
(04:30):
anything to earn it.
It's called being a child, notan adult.
An adult knows that we go out,we work, I think it's really
important in this culture thatwe realize that we are in charge
of our own destiny, butconsumption culture doesn't want
you to believe that inside of aculture that disciples us how to
(04:51):
consume consumption starts tofeel normal.
And it becomes very hard to evennotice how much that is shaping
us.
So what are some normal moneyhabits that are actually keeping
your family stuck?
I just got off a budget deepdive with a couple that we're
working towards building forthem, a budget that gives them
(05:13):
margin, right?
But we have to work through whatfeels normal.
Those money habits that areactually keeping families stuck.
It seems like monthly paymentson everything.
Now, this couple that I wasworking with, they told me
before they said that they felthostage by all of their
payments, but when we got downto it, they didn't have a lot of
payments.
They just had a couple reallybig payments.
(05:35):
But a lot of people that I workwith have monthly payments on
everything, multiple creditcards, multiple cars, some of
them multiple homes.
Medical payments, store creditcards.
There's so many things that theyhave loans on.
It becomes casual debt now.
Casual debt, totally normal.
'cause you know what a casualdebt is.
(05:55):
That's buy now.
Pay later.
Oh, no, no, no.
My friends buy now.
Worry later.
I feel like that's reallyclever.
It's getting to me.
You know what else is reallynormal emotional spending.
I don't feel good, so I'm gonnago out and buy something that's
gonna make me feel better.
I do have one client that shegets really stressed out.
That's her go-to.
We are working on that and she'sdoing so much better on
(06:18):
recognizing that emotion firstand not going out and spending.
I love that for her, and I lovethat for.
Anybody that is in thatsituation that you notice the
desire to spend and instead offilling whatever emotional hole
you have with consumption, startfilling it with something that's
actually going to build you upas opposed to give you stress
(06:39):
later.
Let me tell you something elsethat's normal.
A normal money habit, constantlyeating out and convenient
spending.
When my husband and I startedthis journey, we were spending
$2,100 per month on going out toeat, and it was just the two of
us.
we spend less than half of thaton our feeding, our family of
seven.
This crazy talk, but constantgoing out to eat.
(07:02):
See, that's convenient.
I was more worried aboutconvenience than I was about my
future.
Living in the right now willkeep your family stuck.
You have to be thinking aboutthe future as well.
Here's another thing, lifestylecreep.
Every time your income rises, sodoes your spending.
This will eat your lunch ifyou're not careful.
Mm.
(07:22):
Here's another one.
Assuming your kids need morestuff than they do.
My kids need less stuff.
In fact, I don't know where halfof their stuff comes from.
How do they continue toaccumulate stuff?
I do not know, but they do notneed as much stuff as they have.
What my kids need is to be boredmore often.
What my kids need is to learn tosteward the things that they
(07:46):
have and care for the thingsthey have when they have too
much stuff.
This isn't in my notes rightnow, but I'm just gonna go with
it when they have too muchstuff.
They don't care about it nearlyas much as if they had fewer
things.
And if what we wanna teach themis how to steward their things
and how to care for things thathave been entrusted to them, we
(08:08):
serve them better by giving themfewer things.
I feel like that's as much forme and my husband as it is for
you.
Here's something else that'snormal.
Treating stress with spending.
Talked about that just a littlebit with emotional spending, but
stress spending.
(08:30):
I used to do this so much.
I used to get so stressed outand I was like, well, I can't do
the budget.
I've blown it all up.
I'm just gonna go, you know,whatever.
I'm just gonna go out and spendall my money.
Treating stress with spending.
Because you're stressed aboutyour money, treating money,
stress with spending is likegoing out.
(08:50):
Noticing that you have a flattire taking a knife and slashing
the other three, that makes nosense.
You've done more damage for noreason.
You haven't helped anything.
Here's another normal moneyhabit that's going to keep you
(09:11):
stuck.
And this could be a really bigone, thinking that financial
pressure is just a part of life.
You do not have to feelfinancial pressure every day.
You do not have to come homefrom work and feel stressed out
because you just worked so hardand you dealt with all those
people and you finished all ofthose projects and you don't
(09:34):
make enough to pay your bills.
That should not be a part ofyour adult life.
The problem with these normalquote unquote normal money
habits, it's not that they'rerare.
The problem is that they're socommon that they feel harmless.
(09:57):
You don't even realize thatyou're stuck in the normal.
Because it all feels like that'sjust what people do.
It doesn't have to be that way.
You don't have to have a creditcard.
You don't have to have a creditscore to do the things that you
wanna do.
But society tells us that.
And you know why?
Because credit cards are an$84billion a year industry.
(10:20):
$84 billion a year is what theymake.
And you know how they make thatmoney?
They make it on credit cardfees, transaction fees.
And they make it on thatinterest that they're charging
you.
And if they're not charging youand you're like, I'm gaming the
system, I'm getting the airlinemiles, I'm not having to pay
interest, I'm making money onthis.
Then they are getting it fromthat single mom that's
(10:41):
struggling down the street.
They're getting it from thewidow whose husband just died,
and she's having to handle moneyfor the first time on a solo
income.
They're getting their interestoff of marginalized families.
That don't know any differentand they're just doing what they
(11:02):
have been marketed to over andover and over again.
You ever wonder why Samuel L.
Jackson does these commercials?
It's not out of the goodness ofhis own heart.
He's getting paid a lot, a lot.
Peyton Manning a lot of money.
You have to spend a lot of moneyon millionaires in order to get
them to come do what you'redoing.
(11:26):
It feels common, so it feelsharmless, but it's not.
So why do normal habits feel sohard to question?
Well, because everyone around usis doing them.
Marketing constantly reinforcingthem.
Social media rewards, lifestyle,appearance.
Right.
The convenience feels necessarywhen life is full.
(11:48):
I don't go into a gas station.
You know why?
'cause I have five kids in thecar and I don't wanna leave them
in the car because we now livein a society.
It used to be you have fivekids, you leave'em in the car,
you go inside, you buy somesnacks, you pay for the gas, you
come back out.
Nobody thinks anything.
But now in Southern California,I leave five kids in the car
just to go inside and pay forgas.
And everybody's looking at melike I'm beating my children or
something.
(12:09):
So I pay for gas at the pump ofthe card, but everything else
cash, you can do that.
It's not gonna ruin things, butthe convenience of it all, it
all feels necessary.
Another reason why these normalhabits feel hard to question is
you're exhausted.
And that lowers your resistance.
You have to do these things.
(12:30):
You have to make plans.
You have to decide when you arein a good head space.
You have to decide when you havemargin, and that means we don't
overstuff our calendars.
This is all, do you see theholisticness of this?
It's your whole body, your wholesystem.
Everything comes together whereyou're intentional with your
time, you're intentional withyour money.
You're intentional with how yousteward the things in your life.
(12:55):
Now I get it.
You don't wanna feel deprivedand you don't wanna feel weird.
I get that.
People look at me funny when I'mlike, oh, I don't, I don't do
credit cards.
And maybe it's the way that Isay it when the lady's like,
would you like Kohl's?
Would you like a Kohl's card sothat we can give you money back
and you can get 30% off yourtransaction?
No, Martha, I would not like topay you 18% on this$4
(13:16):
transaction.
Thank you though.
No, I do not do credit cards.
I could be nicer about how I doit.
Another reason why this allfeels like something you
shouldn't question,'cause you'venever been shown another way.
That's why you're here.
That's why you're listening tothis podcast.
I have an alternative way, and Iwanna show you how to do it,
(13:37):
because this isn't about judgingpeople.
I maybe I'm judging Kohl'sbecause they have this thing
where that lady that's checkingme out and I'm buying, I
literally went in the other dayand bought a$3 item, and they're
like, you want a credit card?
No, I don't.
That doesn't make any sense.
But she's forced to do that.
She's forced to ask me, you knowwhy?
Because Kohl's makes more moneyoff their credit cards.
(13:57):
Than they do off of theirmerchandise.
Listen, I'm not judging you, or,the person that works at the
register that's asking me to buya card, I What I'm asking you to
is wake up.
To what has been training us anddecide today to be trained by
(14:20):
something other than thecelebrities feeding you.
You gotta have debt, you gottahave debt, you gotta have debt
for breakfast, lunch, anddinner.
So this is what culture iscosting your family.
It's costing a lack of margin,not only with your money, but
also with your time, and alsowith your emotions.
But being so obsessed with debtand being normal, there is a
(14:45):
stress that never actuallyleaves your body.
You are weighed down by decisionfatigue.
Please don't ask me what's fordinner.
I do not know.
I don't wanna cook dinner againfor the rest of my life, but I'm
a mother and I'm an adult, andit's my job to decide what's for
dinner from now until eternity.
(15:06):
Being stuck in this consumptionculture causes tension in your
marriage.
I consumption culture, it feelslike freedom to get whatever you
want, but you have less freedomto pivot.
To give money away to save moneyfor the future and less freedom
(15:27):
to rest.
You know what's even worse, andwhat kills me is when moms don't
have the freedom to quit theirjob and stay home with their
kids when that's what theyreally want to do because they
have chained themselves to debt.
They have unwittingly.
(15:49):
Gone out and said, here, shackleme to you so you can tell me
what I can and cannot do.
Come here.
Toyota Motor Company.
You're the one that gets todecide what I do with my money
consumption culture.
It's not the business guys.
Consumption culture leads toless intentionality'cause we're
just gonna do whatever and we'lljust swipe the card and we'll
(16:09):
pay attention later.
Consumption culture leads kidsinto learning to be consumers.
As well, guys, what do we wantour children to be?
Learning?
Money is constantly disappearingwithout building anything
meaningful, without us thinkingabout what we wanna do.
(16:30):
We're just letting our kidsfollow us along into a black
hole of mindless spending andswiping.
And often the biggest cost here,it's not the financial cost,
it's the emotional cost.
It's the weight of everything onour shoulders.
(16:51):
I hate that.
Credit cards and cars andconsumptions.
I hate that these things areweighing you down and keeping
you from your desired future.
Very few things make me angrierthan realizing that we have been
(17:12):
trained and taught andmanipulated into thinking that
we are free and we can dowhatever we want as long as we
pay the banks for theopportunity.
That's not freedom.
That's slavery.
I don't want you with your cuffsaround my wrist telling me what
I can and cannot spend my moneyon every month, because they
(17:32):
are, that's what they're tellingyou.
They're telling you, Hey, eitherpay this loan or we're coming
for your house.
So what do we do about it?
What do we do?
How do we make a change?
We realize that what we want todo ultimately is that we want to
build a legacy and then we startmoving towards that.
(17:53):
So we have to choose our valuesfirst.
We have to decide who we wannabe, what we wanna build, what
kind of life do we want to endup with.
We have to reject consumptionculture.
Because it's gonna keep yourfamily from building a legacy.
If we don't reject it, insteadof directing your money into,
(18:16):
adhering to your values, money'sjust gonna get spent.
And we don't know what happenedto it.
Instead of having a long-termvision, we are catering to our
short term desires.
We're not being purposeful atall.
We are staying reactive in themoment.
I hate being a reactive mom.
I hate it.
I would like to take a momentand respond instead of being
(18:38):
reactive and impulsive.
Nobody likes my responses.
When I'm reactive and impulsive,I interrupt my children.
I hate that because I hate to beinterrupted.
And I just respond with thefirst thing and then I, then I
wish I could take that back, butI can't.
'cause it's already outta mymouth.
Right?
Like, have you ever been there?
Have you ever been at the veryfirst day of spring break and
you threatened to take TV awayfrom your children and you have
(19:00):
to actually follow through withnot letting them watch TV for
four days?
Has it?
Just me.
This has been the longest springbreak ever and it's Tuesday.
When you want to build a legacyof generosity and future
building, legacy building,right?
That's what we're doing here.
You wanna do some investing,there's no room for it when
you're just stuck in consumptionCulture.
(19:22):
Your legacy requires intention,but consumption culture runs on
impulse.
Friends, you have to pick one orthe other.
You can keep doing what you'redoing.
And keep getting what you'regetting.
Or you can change the recipe.
You can do something different.
Normal's not working.
So the better question becomeswhat should replace it?
(19:44):
What replaces normal is beingweird.
It's a full rejection ofconsumption culture.
It is a lie that has beenpermeating out there, and we're
going to reject.
So the first thing we have todo, we have to choose value over
impulse.
You have to decide who you wannabe and align yourself with that.
And as soon as you do that andyou focus, focus, focus in every
(20:05):
dollar, every moment, everythingabout you focuses in on what
your values are, and then youbuild that.
You gotta make a plan before youspend your money.
Guys, it's called a budget.
It's called a spending plan.
It's called whatever you wannacall it.
But you gotta plan it first.
It's not tracking.
That's not what we're doing.
We're not going back and lookingwhat we spent last month and
(20:26):
like trying to say, oh, well Istayed within budget.
No, no, no.
We're going to be intentional.
Intentionality.
This is the name of the gamequestion.
Every recurring expense, thebudget, deep dive, I just did.
There weren't a whole lot ofrecurring expenses.
There were some.
What I see on so many is,multiple, multiple streaming
accounts.
Why do we need all of those alot of families I work with,
(20:50):
they have recurring expenses forsports or instruments or all
kinds of things their kids don'twanna do anymore.
Question it.
Why are we doing this?
Why are we choosing thesethings?
Are we choosing these things orare we just doing it because
we've always done it?
Question every recurringexpense.
If you want to rejectconsumption culture, you have
(21:11):
to, you have to normalizewaiting, being patient.
It is a value that has been wayunderrated in this culture.
Nobody waits for anythinganymore.
We do too many drive-throughs.
Be patient.
And you know what that startswith?
That starts with putting yourphone down and looking at the
world around you.
(21:31):
That starts with being in lineat the grocery store and not
picking up your phone.
And I'm, I am guilty of this,but I'm working on this very
hard when I go to the bank toget cash, because we do that in
my family.
When I go to the bank to getcash, I will not pull my phone
out.
I wanna be looking at people, Iwanna be hearing the songs.
I wanna be paying attention whenI'm at the grocery store.
(21:52):
I don't need my phone once I'mat the checkout line.
While I'm shopping, yes, I needmy phone'cause my grocery list
is on it.
But once I'm in the checkoutline, I do not need my phone.
I need to be looking aroundobserving people.
There are people out there inthe world that need to be
noticed, would do anything to benoticed.
Notice them.
Put your phone down.
Normalize waiting.
(22:12):
Stop equating convenience withnecessity.
It's not necessity.
It is not necessary for it to beconvenient.
Sometimes having to work forthings makes it so much better.
Almost every time you have towork for something you
appreciate it more.
Teach your kids that noteverything that they want needs
an instant.
Yes.
Sometimes the waiting, sometimesthe working towards it, almost
(22:34):
always, the working towards itmakes it so much better.
An instant yes, just satisfiesthe dragon inside of us.
It doesn't actually let ouroutward self grow.
I need you to decide that peacematters more than your
appearance.
It does not matter whatthousands of people on TikTok
think of you.
(22:55):
What matters is peace in yourhome and the legacy that you are
going to leave because you choseto be a little bit weird.
You don't have to fit in.
You just need to be present forthe people that matter in your
life.
The last way that we res rejectconsumption culture is that we
(23:16):
build rhythms that makeintentional choices easier.
We do it ahead of time, guys.
We set up our family businessmeetings and we make sure that
our calendar aligns with ourvalues.
We make sure that our moneyaligns with our values.
We get intentional with ourchoices ahead of time.
So those.
Those choices when we're feelingemotional or tired or hungry are
(23:37):
so much easier because wealready made them ahead of time.
No, this does not mean that youneed to become miserable or
extreme or anti fun.
It means we're giving ourselfmargin and we're building peace
in our life, and maybe it's alittle bit less convenient, but
it's well worth it.
So what is one simple first stepthat I can take this week?
(23:58):
Simple notice we're normalspending is happening without
even thinking about it.
That's the easiest thing you cando.
If you want to take it a stepfurther, sit down and ask, is
this actually serving ourfamily?
Do that with a lot of things onyour budget.
As you're sitting there andyou're looking through your
recurring expenses, you'rechallenging those and deciding,
(24:20):
do we need to keep doing this?
Ask if it's actually servingyour family.
Chances are it may not be.
Pick one category to challenge.
What about your Amazon?
What are you spending there?
Is this actually the best way todo it?
Is it just convenient or are youactually saving money?
Think about it.
Your kids extras.
(24:41):
Do we need to be doing all thesethings?
Is it actually serving thechildren?
Is it harming the family?
Challenge everything, but forthis week, just pick one.
Define one family value andcompare.
How you're living up to it.
Compare your spinning againstit.
Decide where you want to be.
Counter-cultural.
(25:03):
So what if the goal is not tolive like everybody else
financially, but to build afamily that actually feels
peaceful, intentional, and free?
I want that goal for you.
For me, I'm trying with myfamily.
Every day it gets a littleeasier and every day we build
better.
If you're.
Realizing that what you'vecalled normal is actually
keeping you stuck.
(25:25):
That's exactly the kind of thingthat we work through together in
the Money Mastery CoachingProgram.
And if this episode hit home andyou want help sorting through
the habits and the pressurepoints and the spinning patterns
that are keeping your familystuck, go ahead and reach out to
me for a clarity call.
All you have to do is scrolldown in the show notes or go to
accelerate yourlegacy.com/clarity call, because
sometimes the next right step issimply getting clear on what has
(25:47):
become normal and deciding it isnot.
Alright, friends, we talkedabout consumption culture.
Thank you for consuming thispodcast.
But go be intentional with whatyou do with your time, your
money, and the legacy you'rebuilding.
Go out and make a difference.
Have you ever looked around and realized that a lot
(00:01):
of what we call normal withmoney is actually kind of crazy?
Yeah.
Normal is keeping familiesbroke, anxious and stuck being
normal.
That's not the goal.
Today I wanna talk to you aboutthe consumption culture lie and
why so many normal money habitsare keeping families from peace.
You are listening to the Moneyand Legacy Podcast with Laura
(00:23):
Sexton.
I'm helping families pay offdebt, grow wealth, and build a
legacy without sacrificing whatmatters most.
This is where money feels easy.
Audio Only - All Participa (00:33):
Hey, legacy builders.
Thank you for jumping on thepodcast.
Today, we are gonna be talkingabout the consumption culture
lie, but I wanna let you knowthe next couple weeks you are
not going to be hearing yournormal money episodes.
I actually have a couple reallyawesome interviews that I just
cannot wait for you to hear.
Now, I was going to add them asbonus episodes, but I am in the
(00:55):
middle of a cross country moveand I'm trying to pack up my
entire house.
So instead of sitting here andpushing myself.
Beyond my actual time margin.
Yes, I do budget my time.
What I'm gonna do is I'm goingto practice what I preach and
I'm going to steward my time alittle bit better and share with
you these amazing, and I mean,absolutely phenomenal.
(01:18):
For today, we are gonna talkabout the lie that is
consumption culture.
I wish normal looked like havingmoney in the bank and doing a
really good job stewardingwhat's been given to us, but
normal in our culture right nowis having a giant, I love debt
score.
(01:39):
The credit score.
Has its place.
I understand why it was createdand I understand what it's used
for.
However, I don't understand whywe worship it, like it's the be
all, end all.
It came around in the lateeighties, early nineties.
The FICO score is younger than Iam.
(02:02):
I don't know if that makes meold or if that says that this
isn't something to be, you know,heralded as the gold standard of
money.
The gold standard of money ishaving money in the bank and
having the flex of having cashto pay for stuff.
That's the flex my friends.
That's what we're after.
But in all reality, that'sweird.
So today I wanna teach you howto be weird.
(02:25):
The consumption culture lies usthat if we get more stuff, we're
going to be happier.
Sometimes the more stuff wehave, the more stressed out we
are, the more responsibilitieswe have.
You know, biggie Small said itbest.
More money, more problems, butit's not more money, more
problems.
Because if I had more money andI was stewarding it, well that
wouldn't be a problem.
(02:46):
But the things that I acquire,those are problems.
The more things you have, themore people you have to know you
have.
You know, you bought a boat, yougotta know somebody that knows
how to fix boats.
You bought a car and a fourwheeler.
Guess what?
You gotta know those mechanicsyou just bought.
A rental property, you need tohave a management company and
you need to know a good plumberand you need to, there are a lot
(03:06):
of things you have to know whenyou acquire more things, and we
are constantly being told thatmore is normal, faster is
better, and ease is worth anyprice, but that's a lie.
More may be normal in thisculture, but most people that
have more and more and more andmore and more.
(03:26):
Have more and more, more debt togo with it because they're not
able to pay cash for the thingsthat they're buying.
The lie says that, oh, buying'sneutral.
Don't worry about it.
Constant upgrading, totallynormal.
Wanting less, that's weird, butwanting less isn't sacrifice.
Wanting less means I'm justgonna have less to manage.
(03:48):
I have less things to put awayat the end of the night.
I have less mess to clean up.
Please.
If you're a mother, holler, ifyou hear me.
Culture teaches us to behavelike consumers first, but we're
called to be builders, owners,stewards of the things around
us.
(04:08):
You see, we are to create.
The world that we wanna live in,not just go with the flow and do
what everybody else is doing,but decide ahead of time what we
want our life to look like andthen work towards that.
Now, work that'scounter-cultural.
There are a whole lot of peoplethat don't wanna have to work.
They want you to hand them moneyand they don't wanna have to do
(04:30):
anything to earn it.
It's called being a child, notan adult.
An adult knows that we go out,we work, I think it's really
important in this culture thatwe realize that we are in charge
of our own destiny, butconsumption culture doesn't want
you to believe that inside of aculture that disciples us how to
(04:51):
consume consumption starts tofeel normal.
And it becomes very hard to evennotice how much that is shaping
us.
So what are some normal moneyhabits that are actually keeping
your family stuck?
I just got off a budget deepdive with a couple that we're
working towards building forthem, a budget that gives them
(05:13):
margin, right?
But we have to work through whatfeels normal.
Those money habits that areactually keeping families stuck.
It seems like monthly paymentson everything.
Now, this couple that I wasworking with, they told me
before they said that they felthostage by all of their
payments, but when we got downto it, they didn't have a lot of
payments.
They just had a couple reallybig payments.
(05:35):
But a lot of people that I workwith have monthly payments on
everything, multiple creditcards, multiple cars, some of
them multiple homes.
Medical payments, store creditcards.
There's so many things that theyhave loans on.
It becomes casual debt now.
Casual debt, totally normal.
'cause you know what a casualdebt is.
(05:55):
That's buy now.
Pay later.
Oh, no, no, no.
My friends buy now.
Worry later.
I feel like that's reallyclever.
It's getting to me.
You know what else is reallynormal emotional spending.
I don't feel good, so I'm gonnago out and buy something that's
gonna make me feel better.
I do have one client that shegets really stressed out.
That's her go-to.
We are working on that and she'sdoing so much better on
(06:18):
recognizing that emotion firstand not going out and spending.
I love that for her, and I lovethat for.
Anybody that is in thatsituation that you notice the
desire to spend and instead offilling whatever emotional hole
you have with consumption, startfilling it with something that's
actually going to build you upas opposed to give you stress
(06:39):
later.
Let me tell you something elsethat's normal.
A normal money habit, constantlyeating out and convenient
spending.
When my husband and I startedthis journey, we were spending
$2,100 per month on going out toeat, and it was just the two of
us.
we spend less than half of thaton our feeding, our family of
seven.
This crazy talk, but constantgoing out to eat.
(07:02):
See, that's convenient.
I was more worried aboutconvenience than I was about my
future.
Living in the right now willkeep your family stuck.
You have to be thinking aboutthe future as well.
Here's another thing, lifestylecreep.
Every time your income rises, sodoes your spending.
This will eat your lunch ifyou're not careful.
Mm.
(07:22):
Here's another one.
Assuming your kids need morestuff than they do.
My kids need less stuff.
In fact, I don't know where halfof their stuff comes from.
How do they continue toaccumulate stuff?
I do not know, but they do notneed as much stuff as they have.
What my kids need is to be boredmore often.
What my kids need is to learn tosteward the things that they
(07:46):
have and care for the thingsthey have when they have too
much stuff.
This isn't in my notes rightnow, but I'm just gonna go with
it when they have too muchstuff.
They don't care about it nearlyas much as if they had fewer
things.
And if what we wanna teach themis how to steward their things
and how to care for things thathave been entrusted to them, we
(08:08):
serve them better by giving themfewer things.
I feel like that's as much forme and my husband as it is for
you.
Here's something else that'snormal.
Treating stress with spending.
Talked about that just a littlebit with emotional spending, but
stress spending.
(08:30):
I used to do this so much.
I used to get so stressed outand I was like, well, I can't do
the budget.
I've blown it all up.
I'm just gonna go, you know,whatever.
I'm just gonna go out and spendall my money.
Treating stress with spending.
Because you're stressed aboutyour money, treating money,
stress with spending is likegoing out.
(08:50):
Noticing that you have a flattire taking a knife and slashing
the other three, that makes nosense.
You've done more damage for noreason.
You haven't helped anything.
Here's another normal moneyhabit that's going to keep you
(09:11):
stuck.
And this could be a really bigone, thinking that financial
pressure is just a part of life.
You do not have to feelfinancial pressure every day.
You do not have to come homefrom work and feel stressed out
because you just worked so hardand you dealt with all those
people and you finished all ofthose projects and you don't
(09:34):
make enough to pay your bills.
That should not be a part ofyour adult life.
The problem with these normalquote unquote normal money
habits, it's not that they'rerare.
The problem is that they're socommon that they feel harmless.
(09:57):
You don't even realize thatyou're stuck in the normal.
Because it all feels like that'sjust what people do.
It doesn't have to be that way.
You don't have to have a creditcard.
You don't have to have a creditscore to do the things that you
wanna do.
But society tells us that.
And you know why?
Because credit cards are an$84billion a year industry.
(10:20):
$84 billion a year is what theymake.
And you know how they make thatmoney?
They make it on credit cardfees, transaction fees.
And they make it on thatinterest that they're charging
you.
And if they're not charging youand you're like, I'm gaming the
system, I'm getting the airlinemiles, I'm not having to pay
interest, I'm making money onthis.
Then they are getting it fromthat single mom that's
(10:41):
struggling down the street.
They're getting it from thewidow whose husband just died,
and she's having to handle moneyfor the first time on a solo
income.
They're getting their interestoff of marginalized families.
That don't know any differentand they're just doing what they
(11:02):
have been marketed to over andover and over again.
You ever wonder why Samuel L.
Jackson does these commercials?
It's not out of the goodness ofhis own heart.
He's getting paid a lot, a lot.
Peyton Manning a lot of money.
You have to spend a lot of moneyon millionaires in order to get
them to come do what you'redoing.
(11:26):
It feels common, so it feelsharmless, but it's not.
So why do normal habits feel sohard to question?
Well, because everyone around usis doing them.
Marketing constantly reinforcingthem.
Social media rewards, lifestyle,appearance.
Right.
The convenience feels necessarywhen life is full.
(11:48):
I don't go into a gas station.
You know why?
'cause I have five kids in thecar and I don't wanna leave them
in the car because we now livein a society.
It used to be you have fivekids, you leave'em in the car,
you go inside, you buy somesnacks, you pay for the gas, you
come back out.
Nobody thinks anything.
But now in Southern California,I leave five kids in the car
just to go inside and pay forgas.
And everybody's looking at melike I'm beating my children or
something.
(12:09):
So I pay for gas at the pump ofthe card, but everything else
cash, you can do that.
It's not gonna ruin things, butthe convenience of it all, it
all feels necessary.
Another reason why these normalhabits feel hard to question is
you're exhausted.
And that lowers your resistance.
You have to do these things.
(12:30):
You have to make plans.
You have to decide when you arein a good head space.
You have to decide when you havemargin, and that means we don't
overstuff our calendars.
This is all, do you see theholisticness of this?
It's your whole body, your wholesystem.
Everything comes together whereyou're intentional with your
time, you're intentional withyour money.
You're intentional with how yousteward the things in your life.
(12:55):
Now I get it.
You don't wanna feel deprivedand you don't wanna feel weird.
I get that.
People look at me funny when I'mlike, oh, I don't, I don't do
credit cards.
And maybe it's the way that Isay it when the lady's like,
would you like Kohl's?
Would you like a Kohl's card sothat we can give you money back
and you can get 30% off yourtransaction?
No, Martha, I would not like topay you 18% on this$4
(13:16):
transaction.
Thank you though.
No, I do not do credit cards.
I could be nicer about how I doit.
Another reason why this allfeels like something you
shouldn't question,'cause you'venever been shown another way.
That's why you're here.
That's why you're listening tothis podcast.
I have an alternative way, and Iwanna show you how to do it,
(13:37):
because this isn't about judgingpeople.
I maybe I'm judging Kohl'sbecause they have this thing
where that lady that's checkingme out and I'm buying, I
literally went in the other dayand bought a$3 item, and they're
like, you want a credit card?
No, I don't.
That doesn't make any sense.
But she's forced to do that.
She's forced to ask me, you knowwhy?
Because Kohl's makes more moneyoff their credit cards.
(13:57):
Than they do off of theirmerchandise.
Listen, I'm not judging you, or,the person that works at the
register that's asking me to buya card, I What I'm asking you to
is wake up.
To what has been training us anddecide today to be trained by
(14:20):
something other than thecelebrities feeding you.
You gotta have debt, you gottahave debt, you gotta have debt
for breakfast, lunch, anddinner.
So this is what culture iscosting your family.
It's costing a lack of margin,not only with your money, but
also with your time, and alsowith your emotions.
But being so obsessed with debtand being normal, there is a
(14:45):
stress that never actuallyleaves your body.
You are weighed down by decisionfatigue.
Please don't ask me what's fordinner.
I do not know.
I don't wanna cook dinner againfor the rest of my life, but I'm
a mother and I'm an adult, andit's my job to decide what's for
dinner from now until eternity.
(15:06):
Being stuck in this consumptionculture causes tension in your
marriage.
I consumption culture, it feelslike freedom to get whatever you
want, but you have less freedomto pivot.
To give money away to save moneyfor the future and less freedom
(15:27):
to rest.
You know what's even worse, andwhat kills me is when moms don't
have the freedom to quit theirjob and stay home with their
kids when that's what theyreally want to do because they
have chained themselves to debt.
They have unwittingly.
(15:49):
Gone out and said, here, shackleme to you so you can tell me
what I can and cannot do.
Come here.
Toyota Motor Company.
You're the one that gets todecide what I do with my money
consumption culture.
It's not the business guys.
Consumption culture leads toless intentionality'cause we're
just gonna do whatever and we'lljust swipe the card and we'll
(16:09):
pay attention later.
Consumption culture leads kidsinto learning to be consumers.
As well, guys, what do we wantour children to be?
Learning?
Money is constantly disappearingwithout building anything
meaningful, without us thinkingabout what we wanna do.
(16:30):
We're just letting our kidsfollow us along into a black
hole of mindless spending andswiping.
And often the biggest cost here,it's not the financial cost,
it's the emotional cost.
It's the weight of everything onour shoulders.
(16:51):
I hate that.
Credit cards and cars andconsumptions.
I hate that these things areweighing you down and keeping
you from your desired future.
Very few things make me angrierthan realizing that we have been
(17:12):
trained and taught andmanipulated into thinking that
we are free and we can dowhatever we want as long as we
pay the banks for theopportunity.
That's not freedom.
That's slavery.
I don't want you with your cuffsaround my wrist telling me what
I can and cannot spend my moneyon every month, because they
(17:32):
are, that's what they're tellingyou.
They're telling you, Hey, eitherpay this loan or we're coming
for your house.
So what do we do about it?
What do we do?
How do we make a change?
We realize that what we want todo ultimately is that we want to
build a legacy and then we startmoving towards that.
(17:53):
So we have to choose our valuesfirst.
We have to decide who we wannabe, what we wanna build, what
kind of life do we want to endup with.
We have to reject consumptionculture.
Because it's gonna keep yourfamily from building a legacy.
If we don't reject it, insteadof directing your money into,
(18:16):
adhering to your values, money'sjust gonna get spent.
And we don't know what happenedto it.
Instead of having a long-termvision, we are catering to our
short term desires.
We're not being purposeful atall.
We are staying reactive in themoment.
I hate being a reactive mom.
I hate it.
I would like to take a momentand respond instead of being
(18:38):
reactive and impulsive.
Nobody likes my responses.
When I'm reactive and impulsive,I interrupt my children.
I hate that because I hate to beinterrupted.
And I just respond with thefirst thing and then I, then I
wish I could take that back, butI can't.
'cause it's already outta mymouth.
Right?
Like, have you ever been there?
Have you ever been at the veryfirst day of spring break and
you threatened to take TV awayfrom your children and you have
(19:00):
to actually follow through withnot letting them watch TV for
four days?
Has it?
Just me.
This has been the longest springbreak ever and it's Tuesday.
When you want to build a legacyof generosity and future
building, legacy building,right?
That's what we're doing here.
You wanna do some investing,there's no room for it when
you're just stuck in consumptionCulture.
(19:22):
Your legacy requires intention,but consumption culture runs on
impulse.
Friends, you have to pick one orthe other.
You can keep doing what you'redoing.
And keep getting what you'regetting.
Or you can change the recipe.
You can do something different.
Normal's not working.
So the better question becomeswhat should replace it?
(19:44):
What replaces normal is beingweird.
It's a full rejection ofconsumption culture.
It is a lie that has beenpermeating out there, and we're
going to reject.
So the first thing we have todo, we have to choose value over
impulse.
You have to decide who you wannabe and align yourself with that.
And as soon as you do that andyou focus, focus, focus in every
(20:05):
dollar, every moment, everythingabout you focuses in on what
your values are, and then youbuild that.
You gotta make a plan before youspend your money.
Guys, it's called a budget.
It's called a spending plan.
It's called whatever you wannacall it.
But you gotta plan it first.
It's not tracking.
That's not what we're doing.
We're not going back and lookingwhat we spent last month and
(20:26):
like trying to say, oh, well Istayed within budget.
No, no, no.
We're going to be intentional.
Intentionality.
This is the name of the gamequestion.
Every recurring expense, thebudget, deep dive, I just did.
There weren't a whole lot ofrecurring expenses.
There were some.
What I see on so many is,multiple, multiple streaming
accounts.
Why do we need all of those alot of families I work with,
(20:50):
they have recurring expenses forsports or instruments or all
kinds of things their kids don'twanna do anymore.
Question it.
Why are we doing this?
Why are we choosing thesethings?
Are we choosing these things orare we just doing it because
we've always done it?
Question every recurringexpense.
If you want to rejectconsumption culture, you have
(21:11):
to, you have to normalizewaiting, being patient.
It is a value that has been wayunderrated in this culture.
Nobody waits for anythinganymore.
We do too many drive-throughs.
Be patient.
And you know what that startswith?
That starts with putting yourphone down and looking at the
world around you.
(21:31):
That starts with being in lineat the grocery store and not
picking up your phone.
And I'm, I am guilty of this,but I'm working on this very
hard when I go to the bank toget cash, because we do that in
my family.
When I go to the bank to getcash, I will not pull my phone
out.
I wanna be looking at people, Iwanna be hearing the songs.
I wanna be paying attention whenI'm at the grocery store.
(21:52):
I don't need my phone once I'mat the checkout line.
While I'm shopping, yes, I needmy phone'cause my grocery list
is on it.
But once I'm in the checkoutline, I do not need my phone.
I need to be looking aroundobserving people.
There are people out there inthe world that need to be
noticed, would do anything to benoticed.
Notice them.
Put your phone down.
Normalize waiting.
(22:12):
Stop equating convenience withnecessity.
It's not necessity.
It is not necessary for it to beconvenient.
Sometimes having to work forthings makes it so much better.
Almost every time you have towork for something you
appreciate it more.
Teach your kids that noteverything that they want needs
an instant.
Yes.
Sometimes the waiting, sometimesthe working towards it, almost
(22:34):
always, the working towards itmakes it so much better.
An instant yes, just satisfiesthe dragon inside of us.
It doesn't actually let ouroutward self grow.
I need you to decide that peacematters more than your
appearance.
It does not matter whatthousands of people on TikTok
think of you.
(22:55):
What matters is peace in yourhome and the legacy that you are
going to leave because you choseto be a little bit weird.
You don't have to fit in.
You just need to be present forthe people that matter in your
life.
The last way that we res rejectconsumption culture is that we
(23:16):
build rhythms that makeintentional choices easier.
We do it ahead of time, guys.
We set up our family businessmeetings and we make sure that
our calendar aligns with ourvalues.
We make sure that our moneyaligns with our values.
We get intentional with ourchoices ahead of time.
So those.
Those choices when we're feelingemotional or tired or hungry are
(23:37):
so much easier because wealready made them ahead of time.
No, this does not mean that youneed to become miserable or
extreme or anti fun.
It means we're giving ourselfmargin and we're building peace
in our life, and maybe it's alittle bit less convenient, but
it's well worth it.
So what is one simple first stepthat I can take this week?
(23:58):
Simple notice we're normalspending is happening without
even thinking about it.
That's the easiest thing you cando.
If you want to take it a stepfurther, sit down and ask, is
this actually serving ourfamily?
Do that with a lot of things onyour budget.
As you're sitting there andyou're looking through your
recurring expenses, you'rechallenging those and deciding,
(24:20):
do we need to keep doing this?
Ask if it's actually servingyour family.
Chances are it may not be.
Pick one category to challenge.
What about your Amazon?
What are you spending there?
Is this actually the best way todo it?
Is it just convenient or are youactually saving money?
Think about it.
Your kids extras.
(24:41):
Do we need to be doing all thesethings?
Is it actually serving thechildren?
Is it harming the family?
Challenge everything, but forthis week, just pick one.
Define one family value andcompare.
How you're living up to it.
Compare your spinning againstit.
Decide where you want to be.
Counter-cultural.
(25:03):
So what if the goal is not tolive like everybody else
financially, but to build afamily that actually feels
peaceful, intentional, and free?
I want that goal for you.
For me, I'm trying with myfamily.
Every day it gets a littleeasier and every day we build
better.
If you're.
Realizing that what you'vecalled normal is actually
keeping you stuck.
(25:25):
That's exactly the kind of thingthat we work through together in
the Money Mastery CoachingProgram.
And if this episode hit home andyou want help sorting through
the habits and the pressurepoints and the spinning patterns
that are keeping your familystuck, go ahead and reach out to
me for a clarity call.
All you have to do is scrolldown in the show notes or go to
accelerate yourlegacy.com/clarity call, because
sometimes the next right step issimply getting clear on what has
(25:47):
become normal and deciding it isnot.
Alright, friends, we talkedabout consumption culture.
Thank you for consuming thispodcast.
But go be intentional with whatyou do with your time, your
money, and the legacy you'rebuilding.
Go out and make a difference.
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