Episode Transcript
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Laura (00:00):
What if one of the
biggest reasons people overspend
today is not that they'rereckless, but rather their
spending no longer feels likespending?
We live in a swipe now, tap now,move on economy, and when money
stops feeling real in themoment, it gets a whole lot
easier to let it go.
You are listening to the Moneyand Legacy Podcast with Laura
Sexton.
(00:20):
I'm helping families pay offdebt, grow wealth, and build a
legacy without sacrificing whatmatters most.
This is where money feels easy.
Hey, accelerators.
Still getting ready for thatcross-country move, but I wanted
to talk to you about the swipenow economy.
Have you seen these thingsonline where...
(00:42):
And they've been filling up myfeed.
Maybe it's because I love moneythings, but these people are
getting magic wands off ofAmazon, and your, your credit
card or your debit card will fitinto the star portion of the
wand.
So as you pull up to thedrive-through, you can just
reach out your magic wand andtap to pay.
(01:02):
It's cute, it's hilarious, andit's actually how a lot of us
feel when it comes to tap topay.
It's as if we have created thismagic wand for ourselves where
you just pull the card out, wetap, we move on.
We don't even have to type in apin.
You just tap and go, tap and go.
And the problem with that isthere's no friction.
(01:24):
There's no pause.
There's no emotional connectionto the money that's leaving.
I can do this with my watch now,where you click the watch a
couple of times and then you tapit onto the card reader.
I don't even have to take mywallet out anymore.
So there's not even the rustlingaround and the digging the card
out of the wallet, which why dothey make it so difficult to get
(01:47):
your driver's license and creditcards out of the sleeves of a
wallet?
Make it just a little biteasier, please.
People aren't even looking atthe total anymore because when
spending gets frictionless, italso gets forgettable.
Just this week, I had to go getgas.
I have no idea how much it cost.
I put my card in, and then Ipump the gas, and then I drive
(02:10):
away.
I didn't have to look at whatthe total was until I got home
and balanced my account and Iwas like,"Oh, that's how much
gas was.
Holy cow.
That's expensive." Sometimes Iknow because the pump will stop
at$100 and it won't go over, soyou know, that's awesome when
you have gas that's nearing$6 agallon.
(02:32):
You'll hit that almost everytime.
It's terrible.
But another time that it wasjust completely forgettable for
me this week, which is reallyunfortunate, was I was at the
dentist office- And my daughtershad to get some dental work
done, and it was frustrating.
because it was a lot, and ithurt me almost as much as it
(02:55):
hurt them, I think.
I had to pay the bill, becausethe work's been done, we gotta
pay it, we gotta move on.
And I got home, and I pulled outthe receipt and I was like,"Oh."
I was so relieved.
It was only$629, not 692.
Still an incredible amount ofmoney for dental work, but you
(03:15):
can only do so much.
it didn't even sink in how muchI was spending.
This is why it matters soincredibly much: the older
payment methods that we used tohave made you feel as if you
were losing something, becausecash was leaving your hand.
You had to pull it out of yourwallet, count it out, hand it
(03:36):
over, and hope that you weregetting change back, but
probably not.
Sometimes we would count it downto the penny.
Here are my dollar bills, here'smy change, and pennies...
Oh, that's not even a thinganymore, is it?
We don't do pennies anymore.
It feels almost crazy to thinkabout how we used to have to
stop and do this.
(03:57):
Can you imagine, though, goingback just a little bit further,
what it feels like to write acheck?
You have to stop.
You have to fill it out.
For those of you that haven'tfilled out a check in a while,
you have to put the date on it.
You have to write who you'rewriting the check to.
You write the numerical value,and then you write out longhand
the actual value so that youmake sure it's double, double
blind there, make sure that yougot both of them.
(04:19):
And then you have to sign it.
And if you're really ambitious,you would put something in the
reference column so you knowwhat you wrote the check for.
You had to stop, and you had towrite the amount twice in two
different ways, in number and inletter.
There was friction.
Now, even swiping a card feelsmore deliberate than doing this
tap-and-go situation.
(04:41):
But regardless of tapping orswiping, there's a lot less pain
than when we used to write acheck or use cash.
There was a research study doneat MIT where it found that
people were willing to pay morewith credit cards than cash.
In fact, it's 15 to 18% morewith credit cards than with
cash.
(05:03):
And newer research says thatelectronic payments hurt less
than cash.
There's a physical pain when youpush cash across the counter as
opposed to handing the card.
See, the less you feel whenspending, the easier it is to
justify the spending.
Amazon has figured out that ifyou make it one-click
(05:24):
purchasing, people are much morelikely to click.
Have you ever been to one ofthese websites where you have to
go through 47 pages before youget to sign out?
If you go to a website and youhave to click multiple different
things and you have to answer awhole bunch of questions, it
makes it harder to finalize thetransaction.
However, when you go to Amazon,it's one or two clicks,
(05:47):
two-click purchase.
You sure you want this one?
Great.
Buy it.
Crazy.
Amazon knows that if you removethe friction, people are more
likely to buy.
How this shows up in real life,it's just really crazy how this
really lined up very nicely forme in a teaching lesson kind of
way.
We left the dentist and we wentto In-N-Out.
It's maybe not the world's bestdecision in theory, but the
(06:11):
girls had missed their lunchperiod.
They needed food before theywere going back to school.
What was funny is myseven-year-old's in the
backseat, and she realized thatpeople were going to two
different windows, and it's thefirst time she's kind of noticed
the drive-through situation andcommented on it.
And she said,"Mom, is that guygonna take our money?" And I
said,"Well, yes and no.
(06:31):
He's the guy that we pay for ourfood, and so I'm going to give
him money for it." And I handover my card, and he hands it
back with a receipt, and shegoes,"Why is he giving the money
back?" This is the whole point,my friends.
Children still understand anexchange economy.
They understand that if I givesomething, I will get something.
(06:54):
I trade a toy to get a toy.
I hand over money, I receivefood.
That is how their brains work.
That is how we were wired tocreate.
But with a card, I hand it over,they hand it right back, I still
get the item.
I get both things.
I get to take the currency backto my pocket, and I get the
item.
That makes the exchange feelfree There's no visible loss.
(07:17):
And when there's less friction,because there's no pain...
We tend to do it more often.
You see, tap-to-pay hides thetrade.
In the same way that I didn'tknow how much the gas cost me, I
don't know how much thatIn-N-Out full ticket purchase
was.
(07:37):
I pay it because I was expectingto hand over my card and move
forward.
What I'm telling you right nowis I'm in this crazy season of
moving, and so I have a dulledawareness.
I'm less able to pay attentionto the things that really
(07:57):
matter, the things that areimportant to me and my family.
Why is that the case?
Because there's so much going onin my life around me.
It is chaos that I have chosen,and it's a terrible choice, and
I didn't make it consciously,but I have chosen this.
I have chosen to make balancingthe accounts at the lowest point
(08:17):
on my list of things to do.
In fact, today, out of 26things, balancing the account is
number 24.
Yes, I do have 26 things on myto-do list.
Am I gonna be able to get to allof them?
No, probably not.
But I'm gonna do everything Ican to do as much as I can
because that's the season thatI'm in.
I wouldn't suggest not payingattention.
(08:39):
And now that I'm saying this outloud, I can't go back to putting
my head in the sand because I'dbe making a conscious choice to
not pay attention to my money,and that's absolutely insane.
Why am I telling you this?
I'm sitting here wanting you tocome to me so that I can coach
you on your money, and I'mtelling you that I'm struggling
right now.
I'm in a season of struggle.
I'm telling you that because Ilove you, and I want you to know
(09:02):
you're not alone.
I'm right in this with you.
I also struggle from time totime, but that is why I have a
coach.
That is why I have somebody toreach out to.
And now that I'm saying this outloud, sharing this with you, I'm
really having this revelationmoment where I realize that
friction is such a gift.
Friction makes you slow down.
Friction makes you look atwhat's happening.
Friction gives your brain amoment to catch up.
(09:24):
I need my values to speak louderthan my habits, and friction
allows that to happen.
Creating friction is notpunishment, my friend.
It is protection as friction issomething that I need in my
life.
I'm going to have to go back tocash until the end of this move
season, and I'm realizing thatright now in real time, and I am
literally going to go to thebank and pull out cash, and that
(09:48):
is the only spending that I'mgoing to be able to do.
I'm thankful that we're havingthis conversation right now.
I'm thankful that I'm going tobe able to deal with that in
real time.
This is the work we do ascoaches.
This is the work a financialcoach can do with you, can see
your pattern and work throughit, find the mindset behind it,
(10:08):
find the habit, find where thefriction point needs to be.
So here are some examples offriction that I want you to add
into your life.
I want you to look at the totalbefore paying.
Say it again with me, for thepeople in the back and for me.
Please, Lord, help me.
Look at the total before paying,and say the amount out loud.
(10:28):
Whoa.
That is one of the craziestthings I've ever said out loud.
You have to say the amount outloud before you can pay for it.
This is going to make you go,"DoI really wanna spend that much
money right now?" Now, with thedentist, couldn't change it.
That's how much it cost.
But you need to be able to saythe amount out loud so that you
can retain it, or at leastrecognize how much it is before
(10:51):
you spend.
Anytime you have a problemcategory, go ahead and use cash.
That's why I said I'm gonna getcash.
I'm gonna make sure I'm notoverspending my fun money.
I'm gonna make sure I'm notoverspending our out-to-eat
money.
Again, we're in a season oftransition, so as far as our
budget is concerned, There'sextra money in those line items
because we are in a season oftransition, and we do know that
that's going to be necessary.
(11:11):
We don't hold to it's the samething every month and it doesn't
ever change.
No, of course it changes.
Now, this is something I'vealready done remove stored cards
from any online purchasingsites.
Not only have I worked very hardto remove my cards from every
online site, but I have alsogotten new cards recently so
that I would not have the numbermemorized.
(11:34):
And if I'm not typing it in todo online purchases, I'm not
likely to remember the card formore online purchases.
Wait 24 hours before any impulsepurchases, 24 hours before going
to the grocery store.
Write your list on Wednesday,and then go on Thursday.
And then I need you to reviewyour receipts.
(11:56):
Now, a lot of us, because we'retapping, we're like,"No, thank
you.
Don't need a receipt." Why?
Because it's just easier to notcarry a piece of paper, not wait
the extra two seconds for it toprint.
Guys, wait the extra time, takethe receipt home, and track your
spending daily.
Not everybody do I ask to tracktheir spending daily.
Eventually, you get to the pointwhere you can do it every couple
(12:17):
of days, every three days, everyweek.
But if you are in the habit ofspending, spending, spending,
and you can't even tell me whereyour last four purchases were,
you need to be tracking yourspending daily.
Because friction's not aboutmaking life harder, it's about
making your choices more honest.
And this is where we have to addthe friction in.
(12:38):
As you're listening to this, I'massuming that you are assessing
your own spending actions.
I, I hope that my honest take onmy spending actions are helping
you see where your spending isactually coming in.
And think about where you'rejust swiping without thinking,
or tapping without thinking, orwhere have you taken out your
magic wand to magically pay forthings?
(13:02):
I need for your convenience tobe replaced with awareness.
We have to add some friction inor we're just going to continue
to spend and spend and spend.
Not everyone needs the samesystem.
You choose the friction that isgoing to help you wake up.
But here's your takeaway for theday.
Assess your spending habits anddecide what kind of friction you
(13:22):
need to create on purpose foryou and your family.
Where in your life has spendingbecome so easy that it feels
like you've taken out a magicwand to pay?
Friends, if you haven't evenlooked at your budget in a long
time and you have no idea whatyou're supposed to be doing,
let's do a budget deep divewhere we sit down, help you
(13:43):
ascertain where you're actuallyspending your money, where you
want to be spending your money,and align your budget, align
your spending plan to the thingsthat you value most.
If that sounds great, all youhave to do is scroll down in the
show note, click the Connectwith Laura button, or go to
accelerateyourlegacy.com/claritycall.
That's all you have to do to geton my calendar.
(14:06):
Remember, guys, when spendinggets friction-- When spending
gets frictionless, it also getsforgettable.
So put some friction in placeand go out and make a
difference.