Sister Wives S6 E5 - Christmas Surprise - My Sister Wives Podcast

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What does the nanny do? OK, so we're done.
Goodbye. You shut it off.
Do not twist my words. Do not make me a victim,
sweetie. Just look at the mountain.
That's what you saw that day. Just the knife in the kidneys

(00:22):
over all these years, the sacrifices that I made to love
you. Season 6 Episode 5 Christmas
Surprise we are having Christmas in July.
Christmas in July. All I want for Christmas is July

(00:43):
weather. That's my wish every fucking
Christmas. Beautiful, Your song moved me,
honey. And you know, growing up white
trash. When I think of July Christmas,
I think of think there was like a Marlboro cigarette special
where they would have special signage at the gas station that
was like welcome to the Marlboro Christmas in July.

(01:04):
And I'm like, OK, of course this is associated with a cigarette
brand in my mind. Send in your Marlboro tabs and
you'll get a free cooler for your beer.
Oh yes, if anyone has any Marlboro points they want to
mail to me, I'll give them to my mom.
In the 90s that totally works. That Pizza Hut for reading your

(01:28):
book. Book it.
And jump rope for heart. All right, let's move on.
Well, I hope you enjoyed a little bit of that Christmas
spirit for the intro of this episode and that you were moved
by the holiday. Even if it's made-up and you're
only hearing the Christmas spirit in your ears, please also

(01:49):
hear it in your heart. And in Kimber's case, that's
that cavity that's open in the middle of your chest.
As you said, we are 5 episodes into Season 6.
We're just moving right along and we're going to have a
Christmas surprise. I don't think you'll be very
surprised by any of this. But they had to use some kind of
title. We are at Christine's rental and

(02:12):
we are packing for moving today.
Move. Day move, day still.
Packing and moving that day and they ull U in a van and a moving
truck in front of the house and kind of get some like
movements throughout the property, throughout the house.
And Christine grabs a door and

(02:35):
she goes. They've scuffed a door already.
Yes, those kids will have to pay.
Kids. Yes, well, I mean, you know,
having children does ruin your life.
I've always had this but. Yeah, they scuff many a thing.
No, they're a blessing. A holiday blessing.
A Christmas blessing children ruining your belongings.
Oh, we. Just have this quick moment with
Christine where it's packing up some things.

(02:55):
There's going to be more than one load, blah, blah, blah.
We're at the house and then we go to Janelle's house, where
Maddie tells us that she's been enjoying being able to go to
the new house to escape Hunter when he's driving her crazy.
And so it was a moment for Maddie.
We haven't gotten a lot of Maddie moments recently.
She was alert, awake and I don't think she was high.

(03:16):
No, she must have ejected herself for a while so that she
could live her best life. And we get a clip from Maddie
here. Surprise, surprise.
After many a clip last season, this is kind of a treat.
Yeah, I'm like Hunter must torment her or something.
I don't. Yeah, there's something there.

(03:37):
But as we know, Meri still does not have her house.
Oh no. And if the financing doesn't go
through, she may have to do other financing is what she
tells us. And I'm going is this even true
or just manufactured drama in the sense of the money?
I'm wondering if they were really suspecting that her
financing wouldn't come through or if it's like we've been

(03:59):
discussing in our previous episodes where she just took so
long that her paperwork is just in process and no one should
really be that worried about the financing.
It's hard for me to put my put my finger on it.
It is because they don't really talk about the process.
They kind of like hodgepodge together the process and give us
like tidbits about the paperwork was filed, the paperwork was

(04:22):
approved and when they bring this up, they say we still don't
know if they will even get financing on her home.
Which I don't quite understand.
Well, and in the last episode, if we're on the actual timeline
here, probably would have only been a day or two before some of

(04:43):
the clips because they're talking about, oh, we just filed
your paperwork. Mona's saying at the kitchen
table where they're Dang Dingle dangling their feet at Chanel's.
And it's like, I don't know, the
timeline is, is it Frank invited together or is it reality?

(05:03):
Because they could have been pulling clips from past,
present, future. Put that in there.
They tell us, though, that this episode is starting off on
January 2nd, that January 2nd is when the Brown family is going
to celebrate Christmas, which is a week after normal Christmas
or, you know, Christmas Day, blah blah blah.

(05:25):
So what we can take away from that is that Meri's time between
Christmas and New Year's was spent wondering if she was going
to be getting any notifications, and then that didn't happen.
They're giving Meri more time so that they can pretend that it
happens for Leon on Christmas. Well, and the other wives

(05:45):
getting their keys right before Christmas, there is an element
of it's probably just too chaotic, too much to do
Christmas on Christmas Day and partnered with sparing Meri and
Leon's very, very, very sensitive and delicate feelings.
So when Kody shows up at Christine's house while they're
unloading and setting up the new place and being all excited
and enthusiastic, he walks in and he goes, honey, I'm home.

(06:10):
And I was like, OMG, like, I love honey, I'm home.
I actually think it's kind of funny.
I probably would say it if I had anyone to go home to.
It's just funny that Kody says it and then immediately goes to
the kids and is like, oh truly, like, blah, blah, blah.
Not it. And it's all this like happy
moment, truly. My little Princess.
Didn't we just hear from Isabel about how he's not around and

(06:34):
they don't know where he is? Could be that he's that excited
to see them because it's been 2 weeks, I don't know.
I finally get to see my children that I'm avoiding that.
I'm avoiding like the Plague, as we will find out later,
actually happens during the plague, yeah. 100 Christine
suggests that they start a company called the Brown

(06:55):
Family Moving Company for how many times they've moved.
They're just constantly moving and they're so good at it.
And I'm like, OK, so Kody cannotbe the president or the CEO of
that company. It's got to be Meri.
And then Meri's got to be the workers.
Meri's got to be HR Meri has to be the entire thing.
She does 80% of the work when they're moving and in this

(07:15):
episode they show clips of them hauling things and moving
things. And Meri's, I was like taking up
the front or pushing up the back and I'm like, yes, Meri,
like she could carry a couch on her own.
She is so good at moving. They do keep showing clips of
all of the boys, like the older boys moving big pieces of
furniture together. And they show like a clip where

(07:38):
Logan is just like standing in the middle of the piece of
furniture, playing light as a feather, stiff as a board while
his brothers carry on either end.
And it's like, Logan, just fucking walk away please.
That's so funny. Christine tells us that she
won't miss her rental home with even one fiber of her body.
So, you know, I get that there'splaces you move on from and

(08:01):
you're like, I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to say
this place was terrible, but I'mnot going to miss it at all.
But not even one fiber of her hot pink knee length skirt.
Not even one fiber of her brown tights, or not even a fiber of
the Jean jacket or the white shirt with the black polka dots
under it. You can't even spare one fiber

(08:24):
of your being, Christine. The layers alone.
From that outfit, wow, sounds like there could have been some
fibers to spare for her rental.Many a fiber.
Many a fiber. Wow, thank you for that one,
honey. That was good.
Which of course queues up the typical flashback to the move to
Las Vegas that we have to haveevery episode.

(08:44):
Let's not waste anytime on that.They show us clips then moving
to Vegas. We don't give a fuck.
It's already happened, stop talking about it.
Because then we get Kody talkingabout all of the hope that
they've had along the way to getto where they are, and he's just
saying Hallelujah, Hallelujah to where they're at.
It's like all of these hopes anddreams along the way that we've
had to get through along the Oregon Trail.

(09:06):
Hallelujah, he says. Hallelujah.
Hallelujah. What's it to you I'm.
Just feeling very festive with the holiday.
Excuse me, the Christmas spirit entering my body?
Do you see what ice don't you? Honey, it couldn't be any worse
than the spirit of Christmas entering and exiting my body

(09:28):
repeatedly. It would have been good if I
could have got there, but oh, she couldn't do it.
She couldn't do it. We get an exterior shot of the
cul-de-sac and the bottom third now says.
Brown family cul-de-sac. I finally named the cul-de-sac
and it was so creative. The Brown family cul-de-sac.

(09:49):
But you know, as we discussed inour last episode, we were really
beat over the head with the location disclaimers or
notifications, whatever you wantto call them, that those bottom
thirds. And so this episode we got less,
but there was still too many. Like every time they would go
back to the cul-de-sac, they putit up and it's like, we know
what this is. We remember.
We get it, We got it. Good.

(10:09):
Thanks for wasting our time, TLC.
As you're listening to this podcast, thanks for wasting our
time, TLC. We see Meri looking into a van
window in the middle of the cul-de-sac.
A minivan darling? Yes, a minivan and who be but on

(10:30):
the other side of that window,then Leon behind the wheel.
Leon behind the wheel. Staring longingly at their
future home. It sounds like we went from
Christmas to Halloween like Scary Movie Leon behind the
wheel. Meri is gentle parenting the
shit out of Leon before gentle parenting was a thing.

(10:54):
Oh, gentle parenting as opposed to rough parenting.
As opposed to tyrannical parenting, Leon gets gentle
parented. Even while Leon is being gently
parented, they are seething. We can.
I just wanted to say seething. With anger.

(11:14):
Well, Leon is staring up at thathouse at the end of the
cul-de-sac, which is Meri's house, and Meri is apologizing,
saying there's nothing that shecan do about the situation.
And then Meri asks, how do you feel about this?
Leon admits that they're jealousand says I'm pissed.

(11:36):
Off. Yeah, I'm pissed off.
So aggressive. It's like you're sitting in a
minivan staring at a house at a cul-de-sac.
Like take it all in. To us Moi aggressive oh por
favor. Crack off.
Of course, Leon talks about being happy for the others, but

(11:57):
that there's nothing that they can do to change things.
Oh, and then Leon's crying and says it's just right there and I
was like, Boo Hoo I. Just want to go inside.
Yeah, the world's smallest violin was playing for Leon.
And Meri's like honey, I'm just trying to talk to you, just.

(12:20):
Trying to yeah, some of their back and forths.
You're right, gentle parent. It's it's sounded like Meri.
Meri's looking at Leanna going and how does it make you feel
and what can I do to help you and how can I make that any
better? I was like, bitch, you can't.
You asked him to change the fireplace at the last minute,
and now we're stuck here, sitting in the cul-de-sac in our

(12:43):
van, looking through the windows.
If you would have submitted yourpaperwork on the 19th instead of
the 20th or whatever the dateswould have been.
And not tried to blow a builder Dan for more things to get fixed
in your home that weren't evenwrong to begin with.
Oh man, you know, then maybe youwouldn't have been disappointing
your child so greatly. We cut to the couch with

(13:04):
Christine and Christine makes a valid point here.
Christine says Leon has watched Janelle and I be able to have
babies and Meri couldn't have that.
They kind of go back and forth and they're they're giving Leon
grace about their reaction due to the fact that Leon has had a

(13:27):
lot of disappointments, AKA nothaving siblings in their life.
Plenty of siblings, just not Meri's children.
Well, right. And Christine says this whole
thing reminds me of that. And I was like, Kimber just said
this in the last episode. You just pointed out that there
was a similarity in that. There was a parallel in that.

(13:49):
Because everybody keeps lying toLeon to placate them.
I don't know. They think Leon's fragile.
They think, what of Leon? Because Leon has been the only
one in the family to completely declare that they want plural
marriage and to follow the doctrine.
And Leon is the only one not to have any siblings.

(14:13):
And Leon is the one with big emotions, just like Meri.
And we all placate to Leon. And we kept our home in Lehigh
just in case Leon wanted to go to school and stay there.
Like there's this common thread,right?
Some only child syndrome whatnotness in a family of 22,

(14:36):
apparently. Perhaps, and Kody keeps saying
the comment that we find odd about how they're being raised
as siblings, but we find out more and more that even when
they were living in the same home, since they were being
raised by three different moms, they were being raised

(14:57):
differently and separately and not as siblings.
Nature versus nurture with this family.
It's very interesting to me. Yeah, interesting throwback.
Christine says she feels safe having all the kids around at
the cul-de-sac while they're on the couch discussing, and Kody
jokes about the block walls around their properties and how

(15:19):
it looks like a polygamist compound.
Yeah, he points out that they'rein a gated community with cinder
blocks surrounding it, and they show a clip of all of the
little kids in the middle of the cul-de-sac on rollerblades,
on Razor scooters, each doing their thing on the brand new.

(15:39):
You remember how smooth roller skates were on brand new, like
black. Asphalt.
Rolled out asphalt. Oh, that's.
A three bearing rollerblade, I'mtelling you.
Level 3 on new asphalt. Nothing smoother.
Nothing smoother than my balls, baby.
Oh, you took up landscaping all of a sudden?
I did take offense to when you said that because I do

(16:03):
landscape. Thank you very much.
I know that you do, and I know this, which is so sorry.
I'll apologize on air for makingthat joke about.
Manscape with the manosphere. You know, I just didn't want to
be too cliche blah blah blah, fill in the blanks.
So Kody makes a joke about how with the gated community and the
cinder blocks surrounding them, it looks like a plague

(16:24):
compound. Plague, Plague.
Plague. Plague.
And I think Janelle actually comes out and says compound for
the first time during. Compound Christine wishes Kody
would just keep thoughts like that in his head.
Yeah, don't say that, Kody goes it's just silly, like it's us
being silly. And Christine goes, it's not

(16:46):
silly. There's a negative connotation,
so Q the FLDS montage of the compounds.
Oh my God, Warren Jeffs photo flashes on the screen.
Oh, he's such a criminal. Well, he actually is.
I shouldn't laugh at that. He's terrible.

(17:07):
And behind locked gates is where those people were held, you
know, against their will. They were held captive well
against their will and quotes. You know, the history, the
whatever. Christine says that she does not
want to be related to any of that at all, and she says a
compound is the absolute opposite of what our homes are.

(17:28):
Yes, because the compound means fear and control and their
family and their homes are not full of fear and control.
Opposite of that and there's freedom and we can all go
wherever we want here. We get a transition to Meri's
rental where she's packing, taping up some boxes, and then
we get a shot of her mom packing up some boxes.

(17:49):
Bonnie's visiting to help with the move.
Bonnie's calling to town and I haven't watched the entirety of
this show. I have not even watched any
seasons from the episode that we're recording on.
I've just seen clips on TikTok or read the books at this point.

(18:11):
So I've never seen a shot of Meri's mother from the top of
the head. Right.
So I was a little taken aback by the fact that Fanny is
obviously losing her hair. And I just want to say to
anybody out there that is female presenting, if you are losing

(18:37):
your hair, I understand that it fucking sucks.
And I do swear by Neutrophil. I know it's super expensive.
They don't sponsor the podcast but I would recommend it.
Give yourself some fucking grace because genetics are a bitch
and we cannot help that shit. So moving on from that, just
wanted to give some tips and tricks because losing hair

(19:00):
fucking sucks. I lost it after having babies
for a while. It's a bitch.
And maybe you wouldn't expect it from this podcast, but it's a
little bit of a cheap shot to be making fun of hair loss.
And so we're going to. You know, we give Kody a lot of
guff for his hair loss, but that's because he's so fucking
vain. And obsessed with it, yeah.

(19:20):
Absolutely. I think that it depends on the
person and you need to know, like when it's like punch to the
ear or kick to the kidney or a knife to the kidney.
And I do not want anyone to ever feel like we're picking on
people for their differences. You know this show.
The thing about it is they put themselves out there.

(19:42):
Kody is what we know he is. If you have this issue,
seriously don't feel bad and go to your doctor first because
might be something wrong. Like really truly.
So take care of yourselves. Take care of yourself.
And we don't want any punching.
We don't want any kicking. We we don't want Grandma Bonnie
to get kicked in the tooth, no.We don't want Grandma Bonnie to
get kicked in the tooth. That would be terrible.

(20:04):
Oh. No, she'd have to wash her mouth
in the wet bar. Oh God, Meri gets a call from
Danny from Pinnacle Homes. I was like, oh, Danny, that must
be what they called Daniel because they're so familiar,
because Meri spent so much time with Daniel the builder.
Well, I heard Danny and I was like, did Meri just go?

(20:26):
Oh, Daddy. I was like honey, Danny.
Danny but with their accent. It was very bizarre and I had to
take a break there and it was not Daddy, it was Danny.
And I was so proud of myself because I remembered Daniel the
builder. I remembered his name and I knew
that she was saying Danny, notDaddy.

(20:47):
I was having a lot of successfulmoments during this scene.
Maybe I've been going through a dry spell, Daddy.
Oh God. Oh my.
But daddy, I mean, Danny tells them.
That daddy Danny. Calls to let Meri know that he
is ready for them to come take atour because she probably

(21:07):
pestered him enough and drove him crazy enough about.
My mom is here and she's been through so much and I've been
through so much and Leon's on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
Can you please show us the home?
And Leon hasn't even fully seen it yet.
Right. We've seen footage of Leon
seeing these houses pretty much built.

(21:28):
So, OK, Leon hasn't been able to see your uneven pendant lights
and your crooked mantle. Leon hasn't been able to put
their own fake marble on the mantle to make sure that it's a
OK. Leon pulls out a protractor and
he's like, can I do anything? Can I?
Can I solve any problems? An Abacus.
An Abacus. Perhaps to calculate the

(21:50):
velocity of the corner that needs to happen this way and
that way to make it even. Look at us saying words and
things. As they arrived to Meri's house
and they entered the home, there is sad, sad, sad music
playing. And I was just kind of
distracted by it because I thought, wow, you would think
there was a death in the family.But it's just that they haven't

(22:11):
moved into the house quite yet,and the builder is going out of
their way to give them a tour of this home that he probably
shouldn't even do. How many days before Christmas?
Thank you, Daddy.
Oh, I think this. Oh, yeah, right.
Is this before or after Christmas?
The real 10, Not the Brown Christmas after.
Betwixt the 2O Not much time. Not much time.
And so either way, Daddy Danny, hope that Robyn gave you enough

(22:37):
Bee Gees to pay for. This need a refund.
Leon compliments Meri's choices, specifically the counters and
the cabinets and the color choice.
Looks beautiful, mom. So beautiful.
I love this color. And then Leon says I don't want
to leave. Can we just stay here?
Where is Leon from all of a sudden?

(22:59):
I don't know, does this happen a lot?
Can we just stay here? I don't want to leave Mama.
It does happen. Can we?
Just stay here. It does happen, but you know,
OK. Well, remember said I was an
actress. Meri talks about how Leon has
been confused with the financing process, and Meri says she

(23:20):
can't help with any clearing up because she doesn't understand
herself. Meri says she can't explain to
Leon why Janelle and Christine are in their homes and they're
not. And I went duh, because you
didn't get your fucking shit done, lady.
Like it's not some sort of mystical thing that no one could
ever know. It's like you were behind on

(23:41):
your shit or you asked for too much stuff for the home, or
both. And now you're making it sound
like, well, who knows what Janelle and Christine, what
those people did with their paperwork to make it work.
It's like, no, those people didn't do anything wrong with
whatever. You didn't get your shit in.
Well, right, that's the most disgusting part of this clip is
that Meri says Leon doesn't understand financing.

(24:01):
But that's not even just it. Leon thinks that nobody on the
job sites or the financing is doing their jobs because, OK,
all this stuff is getting done at the other houses, why isn't
it getting done here? The people are slacking on their
jobs here. Meri kind of goes along with
this and just says, well, they don't understand how these

(24:23):
people's jobs work and neither do I.
And like Meri is putting it off on somebody else.
Yep, absolutely. Putting it off on somebody else,
as they always do. And I have a feeling that Meri
is telling Leon that they're not doing their jobs instead of
taking ownership. I think so as well.

(24:44):
I mean she says so out loud. It's literally she's blowing
smoke up everybody's skirt. That's the gist of what it's
going to come down to and that she's trying to hide She.
Didn't get her shit done and now it's all just a mystery to her
how it just isn't done. And Leon, they are doing their
jobs. And just because they're doing
them over there doesn't mean they're not doing them over
here, even though we're not over there where we want to be.

(25:07):
My God. And all of a sudden it's
nighttime and Kody pulls up to Meri's rental for a family
meeting. Oh, everyone's sitting around
the table. Another family meeting.
This family loves a family meeting.
And they start talking about Christmas and what this means
and how they're going to do their Christmas.
And they chat about putting up a tree at Janelle's house

(25:27):
because she happens to have a Christmas tree.
Of all the wives. I think that's kind of funny.
It is Christmas morning. We'll be at Janelle's as Kody is
rolling up to the house, like quite literally with his bag.
Kody says, this may be the last time I drag my luggage here.
Let's hope so. Dragging his roller bag up the

(25:51):
sidewalk and it's like boom, bouncing over each crack in the
sidewalk. And he's literally just on
camera. And they're showing that
happening. And it reminds me of middle
school when the people that would show up that like weren't
cool had roller bags instead of backpacks.
Well, you were so cool, honey. You were so popular.
No, I knew it wasn't cool because I had to hide the fact

(26:13):
that I wasn't popular. Yes, you knew to leave your
roller bag at home. I fucking knew it, but that
bitch wanted to come so bad. While they're at this family
meeting, you would think maybe they're here to discuss their
enterprise, my sister, wife's closet, or to continue Christmas
planning. But no, no details about those
things other than this special activity for Christmas.

(26:35):
He talks about how every year his mom would make caramels for
Christmas. I need to say caramels because
they say caramels, and I say caramel because I prefer the
formal. But I'll try to remember that
it's caramels. But this year, Kody's mom can't
make them. We don't know why she's just
unable to perform her duty. Probably that arthritis from

(26:56):
cooking for the family for her.
How many goddamn decades? Is the ranch mom?
Oh, but don't fear everyone, she's sending her recipes.
So Kody suggests all the wives can make her caramels and he
says if someone can make caramels better than my mom then
they are worthy of being my wife.

(27:17):
And everyone laughs and I held down the vomit.
They make a joke about how, oh, we'd be doing this the day of.
And Kody's like, well, yeah, that's what I was thinking.
And I'm like, do you even know how people make caramel?

(27:39):
Like, it is not an easy process.Plus it has to cool and harden.
Like, you might be making that
caramel in the morning and then it's like 10 hours later.
We're trying these like, oh. OK.
Kody, come on, Your mom's been making it for forever and you
don't even know how it's made. Yeah, that makes sense,

(27:59):
actually. Kody's like it's an annual
tradition. My mother, I do it every year.
I have no idea what it takes. I just eat it.
I was out with the boys chopping wood in the forest.
Yeah, burying dead animals, that's what he.
Burying dead animals and cutting firewood.
Chopping down those trees, Janelle tells us that she has a
secret weapon. Her mom, Cheryl, is visiting for

(28:22):
Christmas and Cheryl has some extra special insight into
making this caramel because, oh, Cheryl has helped make this
caramel before. Not because she's a neighbor,
not because she's a good friend, but because she is Kody's
mom's sister wife. And this is where Janelle gives
us a little bit of back story about her mom meeting Kody's dad

(28:46):
in this kind of situation that some of us are aware of.
Because if you've read their book, and if you've been in the
Sister Wives universe for a while, you kind of know the
sordid history of these people.
They bring it up when they visitthe parents ranch earlier on in
the. Series.
That's true. That's true.
And it's kind of glossed over there a bit.

(29:07):
This is like maybe the second time they're talking about it.
And we find out that Janelle's mom was worried that Janelle was
getting involved with a cult. Right when she was friends with
Kody and Meri. Just even friends they weren't
even courting yet, supposedly. So then Janelle's mom Cheryl
with an S comes to meet Kody's dad and ends up falling in love.

(29:33):
So now we have got Kody's mom's
sister. Wife is Janelle's mommy.
Mommy. Mommy had to make it creepier
than it already fucking is because.
Thank you for that. Janelle's mom is Kody's stepmom.
Yes, well, I mean, it is Christmas.
They can't just come out and say that to us, though.

(29:55):
No. But we do get a really cute
quote from Mama when she's standing by her car and she says
when in this competition, I'm not sure I'm the secret weapon,
but I can try I guess. Oh, Cheryl, you know, this is
the second time at least that they've talked about it.

(30:16):
Another opportunity for them to give us anything real.
They don't. It's very whitewashed, very
glossed over. It's like OK so we find out that
Janelle's mom fell in love with Kody's dad so.
But they say it weird so that doesn't really register they.
Say it in a way so we don't connect those dots quite
clearly, Kody says. So Cheryl is my mom's sister,
wife. Instead of saying so, Cheryl's

(30:36):
my stepmom. It's like caramel caramel,
right? The other thing that just
crossed crossed my mind, girl, girl, is that Jenelle, previous
to being married to Kody, was married to Meri's brother.
Meri comes from cult family. Jenelle was already married to a

(30:58):
member of the cult. So even the details they give
that make you go, oh, well, it seems rational and reasonable
that Jenelle's mom would say, hey, I don't want you joining a
cult. I'm here to we're going to do an
intervention. We're going to stop you.
Well, she was already married to Meri's brother before she was
married to Kody, so that it just seems weird.
Whoa. Because yeah, the timing is

(31:19):
weird and it's Criss crossing on so many directions.
And it makes even less sense because I always could
understand and rationalize that you would want to protect your
daughter from joining a cult if you were actually concerned.
Yeah, but your daughter was already married to one of these
family members, so it just, it feels like all of their stories.

(31:42):
Just lies. It's hard to believe them.
Liars, liars, liars. Meri and Robyn will be making
caramels together. Oh, excuse me, Caramels together
because Meri doesn't even have a kitchen, which of course she
lives in a rental home with a kitchen and Robyn has a kitchen,
so this is just bullshit. I'm not sure if this entire

(32:04):
thing was set up by production.
I don't know. I don't know why Meri and Robyn
had to work together on this, but.
Well, when Kody announces the competition, Robyn is just
beside herself. Oh yeah, because Robyn can't
microwave popcorn, so. Yeah, Robyn literally can't even
believe that Kody is serious and wants them to do this, and
she's sitting at the table as he talks about a perfect his

(32:27):
mama's caramels are, and she's just like, shit in her pants.
Yeah, I think that's why she waslike, oh, Meri, you don't have a
kitchen, you can use mine. Yeah, we can be together.
If you need me to boil water, you're going to have to teach me
how. Because then if we win, I get
credit for it, but if we lose, it's also a funny story and I

(32:48):
don't have to get credit for it.Robyn always comes out a winner
in Kody's eyes. Yeah, no kidding.
Even though she's a loser in everybody else's.
Yep, when talking about this competition and getting his
wives, you know, pinning his wives against each other once
again but through a playful activity ha ha lol.
We get a sound bite moment from Kody where he says you may be

(33:09):
thinking I'm a misogynist pig right now but you don't
understand my genius. It's about getting more caramels
and I'm like, my God, is thereanything this man won't say and
is there anything TLC won't puton the show?
Because using women to make you candy and manipulating them to
get more of that candy is literally the definition of

(33:31):
having your cake and eating it too.
Well, and it's and it's like a harmless example in a sense.
I mean, it's literally supposed to be a playful competition
thing. It's not like, you know,
actually underhanded in nature as far as we can see.
And so for him to be saying this, it's like, of all the shit
you've done in this show, thisis what you're going to point
out is that makes you look like a misogynist?
I don't think so. I think it's a lot of other

(33:54):
things. The other thing that I would
like to point out is that Kody says that his mom makes the best
caramels in the world. So he's already upping the
stakes. Like now you're getting compared
to my mom and every other woman out there knows how little
they ever want to be compared to their husband's mom.
Like it's, it's a little weird. It's a little Freudian.

(34:17):
One of the benefits of being single?
We transitioned to Christine's house in the AM and she tells us
it's the morning of Saint Lucia's Day, St.
Lucia's Day. Saint Lucia's.
Day, St. Lucia's Day, which is a
Scandinavian holiday. They do it every year where the
oldest daughters make breakfastfor the family.

(34:38):
And I'm putting daughters in quotes right now because not
everyone that's going to participate is a daughter today.
But also, it's a holiday where
the oldest girl of the family makes breakfast for the whole
family, not daughters. Oh, the oldest.
So this is a polygamous family, so there's four girls to help.

(34:59):
In a normal, dare I say Scandinavian family, it would be
1 eldest daughter making breakfast.
Enslaved. For who knows how many fucking
people, 7. I don't know.
How many times have you had a sibling born?
They're the oldest. I've never celebrated St.

(35:21):
Lucia's Day and I've never had, I mean, my family's only half
Scandinavian. So we're looking at this from
like the normal lens. Normal.
I say that in quotes as always.
Now they say daughters. So they're scooping 4 of them up
because you know, they would need that for how many kids they
have. But it's they're manipulating
another holiday for the fun of it.

(35:43):
But also I. Mean they're just Co opting it
in a way that works for their family.
I mean is it so bad other than the like enslaving your?
Daughter sexism times 4. I would argue it's 1000 times
worse 4. Times the sexism.
You get 4 times the stint in gelor hell.
OK they seriously why? Because.

(36:06):
They're traditional darling. Well, we come from this quote
from Kody. Don't call me a sexist pig to
this. And either the producers want
them to look bad, or they don't realize that they just naturally
look bad. I think it was the latter and
the producers just lucked out. Honey, were you ever forced to
make breakfast on Saint Lucia's Day?
It sounds like you are harboringsome previous resentments.

(36:29):
No, thank God, I'd never heard of this holiday until this
episode. And that's why I slammed the
pause button so hard with my bigtoe that it just, I don't know
it. Flew across the.
Room. That remote just shot across the
room. You know, hopefully you'll have
an opportunity to move on soon,maybe through some therapy.

(36:50):
I can understand this is one of those things where it's like,
oh, it used to be fun. We don't do it anymore.
The oldest in the family, boy orgirl, has to make breakfast for
the family. But I can't believe that anybody
would still be celebrating this and respect their
daughter's mother's, aunts, whatever.
Right. Well.

(37:10):
So we find out that there are actually going to be four
daughters joining. We kind of assumed they might
include Robyn's eldest, but they do come clean out and say it.
Aspen, Maddie, Leon and Aurora.
All four get to make breakfast like it's a gift.
They don't have to. They get to the gift to the

(37:31):
family. Labor.
So the four of them are getting to make breakfast and they're
going to make crepes. Tasty.
And the only way you could ever serve a crepe breakfast to an
entire family is buffet style with trays.
And this is where shit gets real, real quick.

(37:56):
Oh yeah, passions heat. Crepes.
Burn. Well, actually there was a lack
of heat. And no, there was heat.
It was. Too, there was direct an excess
of heat. Thank you.
Thank you. So what are these?
They're pans, the aluminum disposable.
So there's a name for it, I can't remember the name, but
essentially there's two aluminumpans.
The lowest has some water in it,the top has the food in it, and

(38:21):
then there's like a candle, like a little kerosene candle
underneath. So it heats the water, which
spreads the heat to heat the entire piece of food or whatever
is in there. Yeah, this is one of those
situations where you can't help it.
Someone's just going to look bad.
Maddie has been just ragging on everyone.

(38:43):
Hey, there needs to be water between the two layers or the
food is going to burn. I remember Christine telling me
that, and every single other daughter, Aspen, Leon, Aurora is
kind of fighting her, like we don't remember hearing water.
So they start lighting the things and then of course they

(39:03):
start to smell something burn and Maddie gets to shove it in
everyone's face. Fair enough, but who is the one
that actually lit the burners and decided that their decision,
their highway. Get off it with or without water

(39:25):
terms. Is it Aurora?
Nope. Is it Aspen?
Nope. Oh, is it the Ghost of Christmas
Present? It is Leon.
Oh, it's Leon. And they pointed out that, hey,
it was Leon that made the decision, and Leon just can't

(39:45):
handle that and yells I did it, I'm sorry guys.
And storms off. Thank you for the storm off
sound effects that sound like a horse trotting away.
Coconuts tapping together, MontyPython style.
Definitely slammed down some shit on the stove and then

(40:05):
turned around and booked it out of that room.
Like my attitude is here. Listen to it.
I'm pissed. I just don't even know how to
describe this scene because it'sso ridiculous.
Because they're like fighting over these weird giant ways that
you serve breakfast that like not many people know what the
fuck this is and they think thatit happens in cafeterias, but
this is like, this is a family cafeteria and I can't even think

(40:30):
remember what they're named because.
Warming trays. But there there's a name for
them, I. Just so it's just like so funny
because we get this weird, absurd way that they have to
serve breakfast because their family is so big.
And then they're fighting over how to serve this like weird
breakfast that it's like Leon isjust all of a sudden they're

(40:53):
making a scene Much Ado about nothing.
They're trying to get some sort of heated rivalry going on
because there's literally no fucking reason to film this.
Well, Maddie was kind of jabbingat everybody.
Maddie actually took out one of those kerosene things and was
reading the instructions, being like, you're supposed to like
this when you do the thing. Like just reiterating that she

(41:14):
was correct from the beginning and she was totally having one
of those moments of like, well, who was right?
Who was right? I guess it was me.
I guess y'all were wrong and Leon could not handle it.
But do Meri and Kody unloading some of someone's belongings
into someone's home, not into Meri's home because she doesn't
have her home friendly reminder.

(41:34):
And Meri is talking Kody's ear off about how Leon is upset.
Oh, Leon's upset. Imagine that.
So exciting and new. But sometimes Leon's not upset.
It's, you know, hot and cold up and down here and there all
around the square. And Kody says, well, sounds like
you, Meri. Sounds like you, Meri.

(41:55):
It feels like it's more about you, Meri, and how you're
reacting to Leon. And he tells Meri I'll handle
it. I can handle this.
It's a little crummy that he's like, oh, you're making this
about you instead of about your child.
Yeah, it has vibes of a little like mansplaining or a little
like, let me tell you about how it is.

(42:17):
But I hate to say it, I kind of agree with him.
It's like, Meri, you just seem to be coddling when it's not
necessary and making things worse in many ways, withholding
things and kind of ushering Leon along even in her statements.
Well, Leon's upset sometimes and sometimes not.
And I don't get it. It's like, Meri, you don't get
anything. You just pretend like you don't
understand these things when really you should very clearly

(42:40):
understand what's going on. But there are two peas in a pod,
as we said in our last episode of this pod.
I have a hard time with this because it sounds like Kody's
like, oh, you're just too emotional.
Like God forbid you a period the bears will come.
And then he sounds also like he's just being realistic and
like, hey, you're emotional too.
Quit making about yourself because it's about our child and

(43:04):
you're both emotional. Yeah, and then Meri says some
weird shit, talking about how she understands now that she has
a teenager. She's had a teenager for a
couple years, and now she knows what it must have been like for
Kody to deal with her. I see me in them so much.

(43:25):
Oh God. Meri just goes on and on about
how she's been trying to do better, trying to be better
because of how hard it is to deal with Leon and realizing it
must be just as hard to deal with her and kind of talks about
it for a bit. And then there's a 2 camera

(43:46):
where Kody says, baby, Meri's being dramatic.
You just don't know. And this is The thing is like,
you just don't know is Meri. Meri is dramatic.
She's always upset. She's always all over the place.
And so now when she's talking
about her child who's always upset and all over the place is
the story that you're both are all upset and all over the
place. What's going on here?

(44:08):
And Kody's just trying to be one of the leaders of the
manosphere and come in and say, listen, I'm going to lay down
the law. I'm going to tell Leon what
needs to happen. I'm going to give Leon some life
advice. I'm going to all talk to Leon.
Let me deal with it. So then Kody and Leon are
sitting inside in the family room or the living room or the
My Sister wife's closet world headquarters.

(44:29):
You never know where they are. And oh, he's got some things to
say to Leon. First, Kody starts out by just a
simple You feeling OK? Leon's feeling great, can't you
tell? This is not gentle parenting,
OK? This is not understanding how to

(44:51):
talk to your own child. Yeah, yeah, you.
Feeling OK? Do you get upset when I ask you
that question? Are you feeling OK, Kimber?
Are you mad at? Me are you?
Oh, I I never ask people that. I don't want to know the answer.
Oh boy.
Kody also tells Leon. Well after.
You know that ice breaker? Yeah, best ice breaker ever.

(45:14):
Tony just dives right in and tells Leon.
When you're mad about what's going on in your life, you still
need to be a sweet person. A sweet person.
You need to not wear your struggles on your sleeve so
much. Your mom is dealing with the
same thing. You'll have a better life and a

(45:34):
lot more friends if you have a chipper disposition.
Value into what you do have. Yeah, yeah.
AKA, not what you don't have, not the house that you've been
staring at longingly across the street.
That you've been yelling at from a minivan saying you're going
to slap. Why not the?
Underwriter across the face, like you've been a spoiled brat,

(45:58):
which is what we have been saying on this podcast for many
episodes. And it's unlikable.
And do I think you have to be a sweet person?
No. Do I think you always have to
have a chipper disposition? No.
But do I think Leon needs to hear this?
Fucking yes. Like it's probably just one of
those moments in life where it's like, yo, everyone's tired of
walking on egg shells around you and touching you with kid

(46:20):
gloves. Everyone's kind of over it and
you're going to. You're alienating people.
Another thing to point out with the word that he uses being
sweet, you may be struggling, but you really need to be sweet
with everybody else. It's a very odd word to pick and

(46:43):
I don't think a lot of us would use that word in a similar
situation. I think if I was saying that,
I'd be like, you may be struggling, but you really need
to be kind with everybody else.
I don't know another parent thatwould just automatically go to.
You need to be sweet.
Right. With everybody else, it's just a

(47:04):
very strange word to jump to out of all of the descriptive
words and the English language.
So yeah, he's basically Leon. Keep sweet.
Yep, little Warren Jeffs vibes in there.
It doesn't matter what you're going through.
And it's obviously a spectrum, right?
If you're upset about every single thing and everything's

(47:24):
driving you nuts, you know, takea moment and evaluate.
And he literally suggests to Leon, if you're getting upset,
it might be best to just remove yourself for a few minutes and
go do your thing. Regather your thoughts.
Come back when you're a little more able to go with the flow.
Have a more chipper disposition.Think objectively.
Yeah, which? We know they're great at.

(47:45):
So many better ways to phrase itthan keeping sweet and having a
chipper disposition. I think the suggestion and the
conversation itself holisticallyprobably wasn't bad in the sense
that, like I said, Leon needs to fucking hear this.
I probably needed to hear it at some point.
I'm sure my dad was like, you know what?
If you were just a little nicer,people would be a little nicer
to you. Like it's something you some

(48:07):
people are probably just going to have to hear in life.
Kinder to them, softer to them, nicer to them, sweet.
And he uses sweet so much. They all do in, but particularly
Kody in their book, Becoming Sister Wives.
So many uses of the word sweet. It was sweet and she was sweet

(48:27):
and everything was sweet. It's like, can't you find a
different word? It's so obnoxious.
I think that I've only describeda strawberry that way before.
Right. Like I would assume I would
describe food as sweet. Or if someone did something
really really nice for me, I might be like that's so sweet,
but I wouldn't suggest they be sweet.
Very strange. No, it's a very odd use of the

(48:47):
word. Very culty.
Well, Speaking of culty, we're going to go back to the Brown
family called a Sack Woo. And it's Christmas morning on
January 2nd. Meri is hoping that since it's a
weekday, January 2nd, they might get their Christmas
miracle and get into the home. And Meri's been sitting by that

(49:13):
pager, I mean phone, waiting for that call.
Technically, it's a business day, she says.
Technically, it's a business day, and everyone's gathering at
Janelle's family room for the Christmas celebration.
There's children, there's adults, there's presents,
presents, presents, presents. And Kody tells us that they're a

(49:33):
family of 22. So if everyone gets 3 gifts,
that's 66 presents to be all around.
And yeah, there's a lot of presents.
It didn't seem crazy to me because they are a large family.
It just looked like a lot of
presents for a lot of people. I don't really get if that was
directed by a producer director like prompted because it didn't
seem strange to me. I don't know.

(49:56):
It does look insane because they take the shot from overhead,
like from the balcony. Yeah.
So from like the top shot, it looks like a ton of presents.
It looks like Whoville people and the presents and the big
tree and yeah. And truly scrumptious is little
Cindy Lou. Little Cindy Lou Who with her
little whisper hair, our favorite of them all.

(50:19):
The kids are all opening their gifts.
There's a lot of excitement. I didn't see a lot of people
eating crepes, so unfortunately we never saw where.
Saint Lucia's Day. Oh, I guess that must have been
a different day. I don't know, I'm confused.
It's so hard with Joseph Smith's birthday right before
Christmas and Saint Lucia's Day.
There's so many. Hanukkah.
And Hanukkah that they couldn't even fit that in this year.

(50:40):
There was just so many holidays and it's tough to keep track.
One person that they show getting a gift that I thought
was adorable was Gabe. And there is like a towel or a
blanket over something. And the other kids say we've
going to we're going to reveal your gift, Gabe.
And they pull it up and it's a brand new bike.

(51:01):
And Gabe's reaction's really cute.
And it was just cute how the siblings got in on hiding the
bike without wrapping it and pulling the cloth away.
Yeah. Yeah, it was a cute moment.
And then America's favorite sister, wife Robyn, tells Kody
it's his turn to open a present from her.
The Christmas spirit is inside of her and just leaking out of

(51:25):
every pore. He opens the gift and he gets
choked up. He takes a pause and he pulls
out a piece of paper, more pieces of paper for gifts.
But this piece of paper is actually a Social Security card
that says Robyn Alice Brown. He announces to everyone the

(51:47):
gift. It's a Social Security card.
She's changed her name and here is a certificate saying she did
so. And it's so great because they
do a pan to Logan and he's slow clapping and he's not doing it,
you know, not a sarcastic, you know, asshole thing, but
literally just like, yay, slow clap.

(52:07):
And I'm like, Oh my God, so good.
And of course, Kody and Robyn hug and they kiss.
They do a little kiss in front of the other sister wives
breaking the rules. And it was quite a moment,
Christine yells from the side. That's so cool.
And I went, why? Why is everything cool?
Why is everything real and cool?It's so cool.

(52:30):
It's so real, but it's cool. Like why?
They have a little tidbit of Kody talking and he says it's
probably the biggest surprise I've ever had.
It shocked and awed me, shocked and on me.
It takes a lot to shock and awe Kody.
He's he's hard to impress. And then, like, we cannot just

(52:51):
gloss over the fact that he holds the Social Security card
up for all to see, including thecamera men.
Yeah, I didn't catch if it was blurred or not.
It'd be fun to go freeze frame it and capture that number and
get her a fifth last name. Let's just.
See this maybe? Like brand new please.
Report yourself to the FBI's Most Wanted list for most debt

(53:15):
in America. That's what it would come up as
if you tried to steal her Social Security number.
It's a little odd. They've shown large checks to
the camera, and obviously the cameras blurred them.
Now they're showing a Social Security card and it's like you
tell motherfuckers. Stop.
Stop showing your PPI or your PII or whatever.
Trying to lose your own identities.

(53:37):
We know it's been a rough go, OK, we know you've been
separated for two plus years. But please, nobody wants to be
you. Don't forget they had to go to
Nevada in the middle of the night.
They have struggled and they have had so many ups and downs
and now here's a check and here's my social.
Christ Almighty, for real. As we know, Kimber gladly

(54:00):
accepts that information. Only if you fall in love with me
and give it willingly. And then they talk about the
importance of all of them havingthe same last name, even if
they're not legally married. You know, it's to signify that
you are a kept woman, according to Kody.
A kept woman Christian says thatmost women in plural marriage do

(54:22):
not change their last name, but that was something that was
super important to her because of her children and having the
same last name as their father. Yeah, not our first time talking
about last names in the last couple episodes.
It seems to be a thing, right? Now Robyn Shit Stain Brown is

(54:43):
now dubbed Robyn Alice Brown of the Brown family, fourth wife of
the Kody Brown IW Robyn Alice Brown of Brown.
Queen of the Brown family called.
Us I'm supposed to add I'm supposed to add Queen of the

(55:03):
Browns is. There a gas leak in here?
Are we at Robyn's house? I'm.
Just acting out what I'm. Are we victims of her Munchausen
by proxy? Kody says that this is a
covenant between them, between Kody, the wives, and God.
So, you know, even though they're not legally married,
them taking his last name as a covenant between him, them and

(55:25):
God. How touching.
We see all of their gorgeous wedding photos again, and the
waterfall flowers, and Meri's wedding and the little workout
headband with the flowers on it.But mostly the waterfall of
flowers. Got to have the waterfall
flowers. Was that in the gymnasium where
they got married? Yes, the gymnasium and then over

(55:46):
all of their what beautiful wedding photos, Kody says.
It's a biblically sanctified marriage.
It was a big dull to me, a big dill.
So you know, Robyn changing her name and giving him a Social
Security card on Christmas morning was a big dill.

(56:07):
Very touching, very moving. The baby Jesus wept.
But fuck all the work that thesewomen have done to get these
homes because you know what? These homes were a gift from
God. Yes, Kody let's the whole family
know this. He stands up after their gifts
and declares, well, you know, has to talk to the family like
he always does. Being the patriarch, being the

(56:28):
man from the manosphere, I get it.
This is the biggest gift our family could ever receive
outside of our relationships with each other and of course
the testimony from God. Yeah, he's basically telling his
kids to be thankful. He says.
Always appreciate it. Always be thankful for it.

(56:48):
Like, do not forget where this comes from.
Do not forget your roots. This is the follow up from when
he started that last episode. He said you should all respect
us because we're going to provide you housing.
And so now he's just continuing the story.
You know, respect the homes, respect us that only the
testimony from God should be more than this.
Very moving. So after opening the 666 gifts

(57:12):
from the devil for the entire family, they're all exhausted.
Nobody wants to do anything, buteveryone is going to have to
stay up for this caramel competition quote.
As a man getting caramels from all of his four wives because he

(57:42):
is a genius, he devised this plan.
Wow, so make sure you add that to the Sister Wives playlist on
Spotify. Chris, Eye of the Tiger.
We hear how each of their journeys has been going in this

(58:03):
Carmel River. Christine's have all burned.
Christine has borrowed so much Karo syrup from Janelle for her
burnt batches that Janelle has noticed the syrepa missing.
Christine's first two batches were destroyed by her own
incompetence, so she's on her third batch making these

(58:24):
caramel. She's going to make these
caramel so good. Janelle's cooking with her mom,
and you know, that's that. Cooking with their mom?
Noticing or missing syrup. Pretty sure hers were the ones
that looked wet upon delivery. Yeah, Janelle caramels were.
Nice. Wet.
And Christine is focusing reallyhard on making the proper

(58:49):
caramel because Christine gets accused of cheating all the
time. Oh yeah, she's a cheetah.
And so she's kind of trying to vindicate herself.
And this is when Meri and Robyn keep going on and on about how
tired they are and how they can't imagine making caramels
right now and they talk about Christine and how Christine's a

(59:14):
cheater. Maybe we should nap instead of
making them and then just go buycaramels from some unfortunate
store. Unfortunate store.
So they go and have a nap and then they go to a store and

(59:38):
they're just like, Meri says to the clerk.
How's the dill? We have a caramel competition
going on. We have to have the best
caramels and Robyn this whole time is like chittering.
Can't stop giggling. I thought she was high.

(59:58):
I thought she was too. It's like this it.
Was weird. She throws herself on the
counter at one point, kind of half.
Like what? And Meri's describing to the
clerk how she's going to pass their caramels off as their own,
like that's OK to do in the first place.
Yeah, and as if it's even that exciting.
Or anyone. Cares.
Oh my God, It's like they're thefirst people to ever be let in

(01:00:21):
on a secret and they just can't let it go.
And they're like dying laughing.Totally.
And then Meri says lies are always OK as long as you tell
the truth later. Oh, interesting.
God Forgives all. Now, darling, you glossed over a
very important point. Oh no.
When Meri and Robyn are in the kitchen discussing how they're

(01:00:42):
going to call this unfortunate store owner to see if her
unfortunate store has some caramel caramel, Excuse me?
They joke about your husband, which I loved cause Meri's like,
well, you know, your husband wants blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then Robyn's like, Oh no, no, no, he's your husband.
And I kind of thought it was, I don't know, it stuck out to me

(01:01:03):
as a little funny bit. Flirty.
Well. Perhaps like it was a little pre
nap, wink wink. Yeah.
But yeah, it's your husband, notmine.
Oh, I don't have a husband either.
It's your husband. You know what I'm saying?
When the husband's away, the sister wives will play.
And so you know, is this significant?
No, but I just wanted to mentionit because your husband, your

(01:01:25):
husband. I actually thought it was a
little funny and kind of like, when in life are you ever going
to have the opportunity to say your husband?
It's like, no. It was kind of funny because
they were like, why did your husband make us do this?
I don't know. He's not my husband.
He's your husband. Why did your husband make us do
this? It was.
Funny. It is funny because people
always say that about the children, right?
Like, well, your child, blah blah blah.
It's like your child as well. So I thought that bit was a

(01:01:48):
little funny. Did it warrant Robyn barreling
over and losing consciousness from laughter?
No. But it was funny.
She wasn't even like cute laughing by this point.
It was like ugly laughter, like.Yeah, she was high this whole
time. It's ridiculous.
Yeah. After the store, they arrived
back at Robyn's house to try to doctor up these unfortunate
store bought caramels. Caramels to look homemade and

(01:02:11):
their approach is a little like are you effing kidding me?
I mean, it seems like they were talking about rolling them and I
don't even know. They were just going to reshape
them. And Meri says, well, they're
just like this, but they're flattened.
So they start like warming the caramels up in their hands and
then smashing them on the counter with like the palm of

(01:02:34):
their hands. Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, just imagine, like the sweaty hands, like
smashing the caramels and then everyone unrolling the caramels
and creating them. You're going to be as wet as
Janelle's caramel caramel. Nothing's wetter than that
caramel. Nothing's wetter than Janelle's
caramel, it looked. Damp.
As musty as Robyn's basement now, Robyn tells us.

(01:02:58):
I'd make a horrible shoplifter. I'm too nervous in her stupor
because she's laughing like an uncontrollable idiot.
She's like a hyena this entire. Oh, it's so disturbing.
And you know, what crossed my mind was, you know, Robyn, you
would be a horrible shoplifter. I think you'd probably be better

(01:03:20):
fit for fraud or embezzlement.You know, she's more calculated
than going into a store and just slipping something in her
pocket. She's like, I'm going to steal
the money from right from under you for years kind of vibe.
She's not smart enough to do it,so she has to do what we all
fucking hate most in the world and ask a man to embezzle and do

(01:03:41):
the work for her. Not a man and.
She just plays innocent even though she's playing the puppet
strings and she gets it all. She's got that Kody wrapped
around her little disgusting finger cut to the taste test of
these caramels. Oh, everyone's been, I know you
all have been waiting for the outcome of this competition.

(01:04:02):
Everyone's been waiting on the edge of their seat.
What's going to happen? What's going to happen?
This is where I just wrote because we're they're showing us
the tray that they're being presented on with this blind
taste test. Was it a paper plate?
It's just. A plate and all I wrote is 1 is
wet. There definitely was a wet one

(01:04:24):
there's. 3 caramels and one is showing signs of being wet.
It is glossy. It is shiny.
There might be droplets of wetness on it.
It left a snail trail on the blade.
It sure did. When Kody puts these caramels in
his mouth, one of which was wet and the other two are dry,
the first one that he tries is a bit soft and he didn't say

(01:04:47):
that it was wet and he didn't say that it slipped out of his
mouth and he had to put it back in.
But. It was soft.
It was soft #2 not to be confused with the bowel movement
was very yummy. He thought it tasted great, but
it wasn't as wet as his mom's or as dry as his mom's, not quite

(01:05:07):
sure. And it tasted different than his
mom's. When he popped that caramel in
his mouth, he said this doesn't taste like my mother's caramel.
And Kody questions them if it's either of their mom's recipes.
Robyn, is this your mom's recipe?
Meri, is this your mom's recipe?
And it's like Kody, get these women's mother's recipes out of

(01:05:28):
your mouth. Roger keeps saying because it's
walnuts, not pecans or something.
Yeah, it's these nuts, not thosenuts.
Like who gives a fuck? Puts nuts in their caramel first
of all, you psychopaths. Well, as you know, I'm allergic
to caramel so I don't know anything about this.
Chris told me a story after we met.

(01:05:48):
Betty was allergic to caramel. And then obviously I kind of
like what how can that be? And he admitted that it was a.
Lie, right? I'm kind of like Meri.
You know, you could tell the lieas long as you ask for
forgiveness. Yeah.
The true story is when I was a young child, I made-up that I
was allergic to caramel because I'm not actually that much of a
fan. Now as an adult, I'll eat some

(01:06:09):
caramel like it's fine, but whenI was a kid, I really didn't
like it. And people would always be like
pushing caramel, especially when you're a kid.
They're just. Pusher.
They are pushers. They're like pop that Werther's
in your mouth. And I'm like, it's wet and
tastes like my mother. Like I don't like it.
You know, it's it's it's I just,I made-up that I was allergic to
caramel so that especially at school, like people would be
like, you have to eat this. And I'd be like, I don't want

(01:06:31):
to. You're not.
How many times did people try toforce to do caramel the child
they felt the need to lie? It happened enough times for me
to fabricate a story that I wasallergic to caramel so people
would stop forcing it on me. It was terrible.
What's so funny is that people used to be obsessed.

(01:06:54):
With Werthers, yes, I'm telling you it's part of my childhood.
It's like a staple was my caramel lie.
It followed me for years and years because I would just tell
people I'm allergic. Of course, eventually you get
old enough for people start putting the pieces together that
it's like, isn't caramel just like sugar and flavouring?
And I'm like, I don't know, I'm allergic to it.
I I have no idea. But of course as an.

(01:07:14):
Adult. It's just kind of like some
other wet things. I just have not gone there.
I don't like it. Get it out of my face, get it
out of my mouth. But.
There's a good where there's andthere's a bad where there's the
good where there's it's a little moist has a give to it.
The bad one is like the hard square.
That's like a hard candy almost.And I'm dying because that you

(01:07:39):
used to see that shit everywhere.
Like on the counters everywhere.Your grandma had em, your mom
had em. Remember the commercials?
Like yes, the grandpa giving it to the grandson my Werther's
original. True.
Yeah. Oh my God.
Memory's unlocked. Right.
And I was going, I'm allergic tothat shit.
I'm scared. Oh my God.
Obviously as an adult I came clean and said no, I just don't

(01:08:01):
like it. Please stop putting it in my
mouth. Can you guys tell us what
happened to Werther's? Did the Browns get a hold of
their factory for these caramelsof theirs?
Yes, they actually went to the factory and Werther's is no
longer a thing. It got browned down, shut down.
Brown to the ground.
Now, according to Kody, the third caramel he tried was just

(01:08:24):
right. Just like the porridge in the
bed, in the chair. And whatever happened to, is it
Goldilocks in the Three Bears? I feel like in the last episode
I said it and I thought that I was talking about the girl that
put down the hair from the tower.
And so I was like, oh, that's not even the right one.
And it's like, no, Chris, it was the right one.
It was the right one. We were talking about the
mattresses that they were trying.

(01:08:45):
Yes. Well, was it a pee under the
mattress? The Princess and the pee
Princess. There was just so many things
happening and someone was trying to shove caramel down my
throat and I said enough, enough, enough.
I don't want your cream savers either.
I'm strictly chocolate. I like.

(01:09:06):
Milk chocolate. I like milk chocolate better
than dark chocolate, but there's a place for all the different
kinds of chocolate. Just nothing.
Strawberry. That third caramel hit Kody in
all the right places. It tasted just like his mother's
caramel. And turns out that that third
one was Christine's caramel. She got it right.

(01:09:27):
She won once, not by cheating, but by the reality of her
caramel. All she had to do was try, try,
try again. Which is how you get better,
rat. Thanks, Racine.
That's how you get better, rat.
Thanks, Racine. If she had tried as hard to be a
realtor as she did it those caramels she.

(01:09:49):
Honestly. She might be the Mauricio
Obansky of today's world, but. It is honestly, you know,
Caramel's not easy to make. Listen, I've never tried.
I was allergic. Burns.
Burns so easily. Yeah.
Like your nostrils would have just burned up inside because of
your allergic reaction. Yeah.
It's bring me the EpiPen. Very hard to make.
I'm a Baker, I love to bake. I would never attempt to make my

(01:10:13):
own caramel because it doesn'tmatter that much to me because
I'm actually allergic to. But that's for a different day
because it's like actually really traumatizing.
Right. I've never met another person
allergic to caramel. I know like I think you, I think
you might have given it to me to be honest with you.
What a magical moment for everyone listening to be able to

(01:10:34):
experience with us. It's.
Kind of a big deal. Thank you for being here on our
Christmas morning. So in this back and forth, they
do give a pan over to Janelle where she's tasting one of Robyn
and Meri's stolen caramels andshe says this tastes like a name
brand caramel. And I'm like, yes, Janelle,
taste buds of a. What true trash eater?

(01:10:57):
Because I'm like, yeah, that fakey fake taste of the fake
sugar and the fake this and fakethat.
Like yeah, you can tell. Yeah, you can tell she's been
there. She's popped that in her mouth.
Before a fellow Dorito fan.
At this point we have a couch moment where Meri and Robyn
confessed to everything that they did and when they started

(01:11:18):
talking I'm like they don't know.
They don't know like this didn't come up already.
Like how is this not a thing? But it really feels like the
other wives didn't actually know that they did this when
they're confessing or when Meri's confessing.
Robyn is laughing uncontrollably, like she is not
able to usher even a sentence fragment.
It is just. Like she was, Yeah, when they

(01:11:39):
were buying them with the clerk.
This is the funniest thing that's ever happened to Robyn in
her entire life. Insane.
Like a teenager with her best friend that's like giggling in
front of a boy and she can't stop and it's like got the
giggle fits going on. Yeah, meanwhile she's a mother
of four who's approaching middleage and looks terrible.
Yeah, and while this ridiculous exchange is happening, Kody

(01:11:59):
decides to get up and abruptly leave the couch out of fake
protest that they would even tryto pass off a store bought
Carmel for the kind his mother used to nurse him with.
This brings about a wonderful opportunity for Christine to
talk about the family mission statement.
In case you've missed it, we've been drafting this family

(01:12:22):
mission statement for a hot minute.
It's been going on and going on.Don't forget that for Joseph
Smith's birthday, Christine gavethem pieces of paper with their
name and what they, as individuals, contributed to
their first brainstorming session.
Now we're coming back for session #2 and Janelle is so
excited. She is enthused as ever.

(01:12:42):
Meanwhile, I see Robyn about to start breastfeeding Saul and
then they cut back to Christine.And so it feels very unnecessary
to have shown Robyn about to do that.
And Christine goes, what's our and goal?
What's our end goal, everybody? What's our end goal?
Well, Janelle says. I still don't see the end goal

(01:13:02):
insight. No, I'm just gonna go say that.
She does she.
Doesn't see the end. She does say that about their
activity. Not sure that anyone really
responds to that. I didn't track other than when
the kids were giving sarcastic comments and she said the kids
are being Pooh Pooh heads. Yeah, they were referring to.
The children as Pooh Pooh heads and they literally showed

(01:13:23):
Hunter on the ground being like blah blah blah blah blah like
no one cares except for Christine she really cares.
They decide that they're going to take their top like 5 traits
that they want reflected and write them on one piece of paper
and that they're going to work the mission statement from
there. And Robyn is fighting for them

(01:13:44):
not to remove the word financial to be a main point in the
mission statement. Well, we need financial and I'm
like, yeah, you do you money hungry whore.
She is adamant that they keep financial.
She doesn't want to let that go.
It's very important to her that their family is financially OK,

(01:14:05):
and it's just interesting. It's weird because financial
stability is a fundamental building block for a lot of
families. It's not that she's wrong and
not having some sort of addressing something where
you're talking about maybe success or doing your best,
because there's ways that you can talk about finances without
actually talking about the finances, right?

(01:14:25):
Like we always strive to do our best, we achieve our goals, we
maintain health when it comes toour physical, our spiritual, our
financial. But she's an idiot.
We make enough to send our kids to college.
Education is important, so we work towards finances for
education or financing education.

(01:14:45):
Hello, financing education. She doesn't even deduce it to
anything like truly integral to the family's morals.
Yeah, and their goals that they've said from the beginning
that every kid needs to go to college, and she does.
Yeah. Can't connect those dots.
No, no. I don't know that that even
wrapped anywhere. I feel like the scene just kind

(01:15:06):
of ended. Was there any tie up to all
this? No.
Yeah, it just kind of stopped and then all of a sudden we're
at Meri's rental. Yeah.
So like, OK, that was just a scene and.
We've been getting a lot of whiplash again.
Yeah, this episode. And we find out that it's
January 3rd, so it is the day after their holiday.
Excuse me, Their Christmas partyand Mona is going to meet them

(01:15:29):
after sundown to give them the keys.
So Meri finally did get some good news.
She's been approved. She's getting the keys, and it's
late at night. How exciting.
When they get to the house, they're inside and they're
signing documents on the island.And I was wondering, could they
see the paperwork with those uneven pendants?
Could they even see what they were signing?
It's all just a mystery. Oh my gosh.

(01:15:52):
And Mona sounds so excited to bedone with them.
Like she's literally like, just so glad we could get this done
today. Like, Oh my God.
Yeah, Kody's like, Mona, you're a trooper.
And it's two years into this. She's been working with them for
two years. They bring that number up again,
and it's like, God damn. Yeah, She's been working with

(01:16:13):
them for two whole years. And she looks like Mona, looks
like she's going to cry. And then she says we finally did
it, it's over and I'm going. Home and I'm going home.
This is it. It's like the end of a chapter
for Mona. I'm going.
Home, I'm going home and I if I remember correctly, Mona helped
them get into the rentals. So she did this is it.

(01:16:35):
They've been working with her since they were residents of
Utah, criminals in Utah. And then they did their what is
it called when you go across the desert, they're Exodus.
Voyage. Whatever the Jews did to get out
of Egypt, you know, the pilgrimage, pilgrimage.
They took their pilgrimage to Las Vegas to live down the
street from Robyn's bearded mother and her stepdaddy uncle.

(01:16:57):
And Mona's been there for them
the entire time. God bless Mona.
And she's finally going to be able to put down all the
disguises and just be her normal self again, because she
doesn't want to have to hide from the Browns and not let
them know who she really is. Yep, I'm going to miss her.

(01:17:17):
Because who she really is probably violates their sacred
covenants and testimonies from God.
Yeah, those crystals, those nipple tassels.
In the arms of the angels. In Memoriam In memoriam for
Mona, it's like she's still alive.
We're just mourning the loss of this fabulous character.

(01:17:37):
I am just mourning the loss of all of the characters of her.
You know, like all of the versions of her I dream of
Jeannie's mom, biker chick, Christmas.
Yes, blossom, fortune teller, Goddess nipple.
Queen nipple. Queen.

(01:18:01):
Yes, Mona. I chant in the woods and moon.
Charge. Moon Charge.
Wound Charge. I chant in the woods and moon
charge my pussy. Mona.
Yes. I'm just going to miss every
version of Mona. Mona hard hat Mona was one of my
favorites. Hard hat, Mona.
Yes. No, don't leave us.

(01:18:21):
Don't leave us with these people, Mona.
Don't leave us with the Browns.
She's like, I'm going home and we're like, we're still here.
We're at the Brown family. Cul-de-sac, help us, help us.
Our abysmal jail that we've madefor ourselves in these boots
that we record. Yes, we've built our own prison
and now we're living in. It I'm in a curtained box of
emotion. Oh God.

(01:18:41):
Oh no. Oh no.
Step Brothers. Hot off the heels of Mona
slipping a caramel in her. Oh, sorry, I'm getting my scenes
confused here. Kody and Meri go to Leon's
workplace to surprise them with the news.
Oh, those little devils. They spoke to Leon's manager
previously and worked something out so that Leon could leave

(01:19:02):
work to go see the house. There's going to be coverage for
that teenager working at that froyo shop.
The owner. Oh, the owner.
Excuse me, not manager, owner. Leon must have the wool pulled
over their eyes. What?
Does that mean? It's kind of embarrassing when
like kids, parents call their place of work.

(01:19:23):
So it's just like. Right.
Like I would have been in their juvenile and then during it been
distracted by the thing and then afterwards been like please
don't ever call my work again for anything ever.
Like seriously. Leon is probably the type of
person that has had Meri call insick for them before though.
Oh my. God totally.
That's why I'm like oh this justgives me the cringe really hard

(01:19:44):
because I feel like it seemed like Meri and Kody were friends
with said boss and owner they. Sure, Familiar enough.
Yeah, my parents wouldn't have been calling my McDonald's
manager when I was 15 to tell them they're 1617, to say, oh,
Chris needs to come because we're getting keys to a new
house. They would have been like the

(01:20:06):
you want Chris to have a job after today?
Chris needs the sticks. He's the best at getting the
fries out from under the fryer, bitch.
Exactly. I was the fry king.
They're like, we can't make those caramel sundaes without
him. I would like to let everybody in
this McDonald's know that the ice cream machine is now not
working. Christopher, what the fuck did
you have to do this talk? Blame me for all of the

(01:20:30):
McDonald's ice cream machines not working because of my lies
about a caramel allergy and. Caramel infection.
Oh, I have a caramel infection. Oh God.
Meri tells us that Leon was the happiest she's seen them in a
very long time. Oh, how touching.
I wish I was moved. And then we immediately cut to
people helping to pack up some of Meri's stuff and bring these

(01:20:53):
things from Meri's rental to her home.
They're playing dramatic, somberChristmas music, something about
a guy named Manuel. Now that they have all of the
homes, they put in a clip of Kody saying that he thinks this
was their best Christmas ever and then they show clips from

(01:21:16):
the cabin Christmas from two years ago.
Yes. And.
When they were all sick at that cabin.
They were all sick, yes, but they choose to show clip after
clip after clip of everybody crying at the cabin with like
the foggy border. So it's obviously like we're
looking into the past. Mona's nipple rings are letting

(01:21:39):
us look into the past and they're just showing crying
clips of this Cabin Christmas. And they're happy tears.
You motherfucking liars. You just expect us to forget how
wonderful that Christmas was. It was a wonderful Meri slid
into the cabin on that sled. She almost broke her leg.

(01:22:00):
She. Made everyone's PJ's still.
Yes, they set up that tree that was so tall that it was like, oh
God, is it even going to fit? They were all sick.
They had to take the snowmobilesup to the house at first.
There were so many beautiful things with that house.
The hot tub, the ice dams that Kody was breaking down.
See Fond memories, A beautiful Christmas, and they're playing

(01:22:21):
these clips with the soundtrack of like, oh man, Christmas.
Before. This this is the saddest thing
you've ever heard? Yeah.
And they're, it's just weird. It's like, this was a good time.
Like fuck you, editors.
As if they didn't fucking shoot the show and show us what they
had shot. It's just like, I don't know,

(01:22:42):
these editors are nuts. Like they must be nuts.
Well, they think we're idiots, and most people are, and we are,
but we're not that dumb. No, we remember this Christmas.
It reminds me it was better than most of my Christmases as a
child. I.
Know like I was jealous of that Christmas.
I was jealous of that Brown family Christmas I.
Was you know. Yes.
If I could just stay at a chalet for Christmas, I'd be so

(01:23:06):
happy. Oh well, one of these days,
honey, we will. We'll record an episode from a
chalet on a hillside and we willbe like we are like the Browns
in the chalet. We will.
Hold our own cult following gathering at a chalet up in the
mountains for the deadbeat loser family.
Yes. We should.

(01:23:27):
That's our goal, cult. This is a good idea.
A good goal. If you guys want us to start a
cult, please leave us a comment telling us that we should start
a cult circle. Encourage others to join our
cult once it started. Of course, now we're not going
to be like the Browns. We're actually going to be on
top of this. It's actually going to happen.
As you look me in the eye and just like, just shit yourself.

(01:23:49):
We'd have to stumble into starting a cult.
Well, never. Never say never.
I mean. I could quit all of my other
ambitions and just do the cult. There are times when I truly do
wonder why I am such great friends with the largest member
of the manosphere, and perhaps it's cult vibes.
Are you saying that I have natural leader vibes?

(01:24:09):
I think that's what I just heard.
I think I heard that I should bethe leader of A this I'm I'm I'm
getting it. This is my Christmas in July
gift to myself. I'm starting a cult.
Perfect. To wrap up this episode,
Christine tells us that plural families can't buy homes
together. It's just not done.

(01:24:29):
And Kody says we found a way. And Christine responds.
It's a miracle. Kody says we found a way to
exist in a plural family in a monogamous world.
And that's how we wrap up the Christmas in July.
I mean, excuse me, Christmas in January episode from the Browns.

(01:24:50):
But the most exciting thing of
all was the next episode. Coming up on I got.
Up on at the end. I got a little chubby you guys.
I'm really excited. I got to head some blood flowing
to my previously caramel covered body parts.
I can't remember what the first part was, but the second part

(01:25:11):
was Robyn standing in a family room wearing a dress that it
looks like a Laura Ingalls Wilder school.
Teacher a floral silkish skirt and a long sleeve black shirt
with another long sleeve sweater over it.
Yes, and when she says skirt she means like ankle length.
Ankle length skirt like. Curtains.
She is not looking like a 16 year old Aeropostale pusher.

(01:25:37):
She is looking like a purity speech busher.
Purity Pusher. Purity busher, yes.
You guys, it's an episode we've all been waiting for and we're
very excited about. I'm titillated, my caramel is
wet, and I'm ready to hear Robyn talk about her purity.

(01:26:00):
How do we go from white wedding night negligee over a long
sleeve top? This.
Yeah, she looks like a Sunday school teacher.
Well, they are in church in their, you know, family room
because there's no real church, because it's a cult.
And she's there to spread the gospel, not spread her legs.

(01:26:22):
The opposite. Get that caramel wet enough to
tack those legs together and keep your purity intact.
I am imagining Kody treating his home like a true church now
and having spotlights up top that Hunter and Logan have to
be in charge of. And he's like, when the lights
are on me, No, no, look at me, look at me, look at me.

(01:26:43):
When the lights are on me, I am a different person.
I am your prophet, Kody Brown. I am not Dad the.
Prophet from the Brown family cul-de-sac.
I mean, what else would a narcissist do?
It's really moving to me. Touching, in fact.
It mirrors. What I'm going to do is starting
a cult. Speaking of Janelle's sweet wet

(01:27:04):
caramel, it's time for mustard seed and shit stain.
And our mustard seed, rather than just being a seed put into
the ground, will be a caramel covered mustard seed this
episode. And you know, ladies first, of
course. My caramel covered mustard seed

(01:27:25):
is going to go to. I am going to give it to Kody.
Hey, hold on, brace yourself. I need something to hold on OK.
I believe Kody stepping in to speak to Leon in obviously a

(01:27:47):
time of distress for Meri and Leon was the right choice.
Yeah. And I think a dad in the similar
situation might have ignored it, might have let the mom and
child go at it when stepping in was the right decision.
And that's a little ahead of his time, honestly, Yeah.

(01:28:09):
Yeah. Because men are just not as in
tuned to their children's like micro emotions or there's this
built in innate thing. I feel like with moms that's

(01:28:29):
hard to explain. And you just kind of are attuned
to what your child needs. And it can either be super
overwhelming, like Meri was obviously overwhelmed with her
emotions for Leon and kind of feeding on it and like
replicating it because they're both in the same situation.
They're both dealing with trauma, just in a different way.

(01:28:50):
Trauma, I'm going to say as how they're viewing it.
So they're both going through a big life thing and they're, you
know, Meri doesn't have the right coping skills.
So how can Meri show Leon the right coping skills?
And Kody, I don't know if it's that he was smart enough to

(01:29:12):
recognize this or he is just used to having to deal with this
with Leon and Meri so much, which is what it seems like.
But I applaud Kody for recognizing that tumultuousness
that was like just going to get worse and worse and worse and
stepping in and actually being a dad and handling it.

(01:29:33):
Whether or not the way he handled it was particularly
great is beside like the point for what I'm.
Making. But given the religion, given
the history, given the vocabulary that the family still
uses, I think that this was a bit out there for him and I

(01:29:53):
think it was good to see it. For me, it felt a little bit
like Kody was almost reacting out of frustration.
You know what I mean? Like, I think he might have just
been because that's what I self identified with.
It's like, I've had enough. I don't want to hear this
anymore. Just let's fucking do something
other than what you're doing. And so I think there might be an
element of that, but I don't disagree with what you're

(01:30:16):
saying. I mean, it is one of the first
times we see Kody step up and actually try to handle something
with one of the kids that isn't just discipline because it's
usually the things we've seen, you know, as Dad's not around.
I need your help to discipline the kids or to keep them in
line. And while this is somewhat
keeping Leon in line, it didn't rub me the wrong way.
No, I think there's probably a few elements that are

(01:30:38):
contributing to why Kody decided to speak with Leon alone.
But I think for the most part, if it was out of anger, it would
have been handled differently because we've seen him handle
some of the other children with anger.
We saw it recently with Janelle's boys when Christine
was over there with her kids too.

(01:31:00):
And we saw him get frustrated and we saw him hit sit down and
literally like huffing and puffing about the situation.
And the way that he handled the situation with Leon and Meri
was like, a lot smoother and a lot either practiced because
he's been down that road with them before, or just calmer

(01:31:21):
because he understood what needed to be done and was
like, OK, just step back. I got this.
Yeah. So.
Listen, I mean, you're giving a mustard seed to Kody.
I know. And I'm not disagreeing so.
I am picking purely on this one instance because it stuck out
to me just because it's so different from what we know of

(01:31:43):
Kody, yeah. So I feel that.
Well, my mustard seed this episode, this Christmas episode
goes to one Janelle Brown because I enjoyed that she said
to us, you know, I'm actually surprisingly looking forward to
this caramel cook off thing. And it's because she had a
secret weapon, her mom there to help her and she had a couple

(01:32:07):
of cracks. I always love that when she's
doing the family mission statement work, she's always has
a comment like, the end is not insight or like, I'm just here
trying to make it through, you know?
And I love that because, yeah, it's it is a business thing.
It's not, you know, families have mission statements.
You know, it is what it is. How many working sessions do you

(01:32:29):
need? Clearly a lot.
And I just thought that she was funny this episode.
I enjoyed her laughter. And I just liked watching her
family continue to fill the house and whatever.
So I think that Janelle gets my mustard seed for this episode.
Janelle and Christine are a lot alike.
Can you see Christine make funny comments like, I'm not into
the my sister's closet. Oh, my God, These meetings, if I

(01:32:51):
show up and I'm not yawning, you're lucky, like.
And Janelle, when she gets out of her shell, does the same type
of humor. Yeah.
And so it's just kind of unfortunate that things had to
play out the way that they did because you can tell that they
could have been allies together.
Yeah. Yeah.
And eventually they do become that.

(01:33:13):
But yes, there's. But I I don't know that.
Well, right and Kody pens them against each other the whole 9
yards. Now it's time for our caramel
centered shit stains. That doesn't make sense.
Shit stain centered caramels, yes.
Oh, caramels with a little shit stain on the outside.
So how do you shit stain this week?

(01:33:33):
What are you going to do about that shit stain?
Can I give it to Mona for leaving us?
Oh, we can't send Mona off with a shit stain.
Fine. I know, even though we are all
collectively sad. My shit stain is going to go to
Meri. Good choice.

(01:33:54):
It's because I think Meri hides things from Leon and let's Leon
get upset about things kind of out of selfishness and to
console Leon. And on top of that, I think that
Meri's just playing this like false victim throughout the last

(01:34:17):
two episodes of not getting her house when it's a product of
her own making. I don't know what to tell you.
Like it seems like your paperwork was definitely in
late. It didn't look as good as you
made it out to be. You invited your mom here before
even having a moving date to help you move.
Inferring to Leon that it was other people's fault or no they

(01:34:39):
know how to do their job instead of correcting like.
It's not that they don't know how to do their job, like
passing the blame. Passing the blame in a very
backhanded way. Like Leon doesn't understand
their jobs, so Leon doesn't get that they're doing their jobs.
Like that's bullshit. I don't even know how else to
explain it. It's bull shirt as.
Well, it's bull shirt. Listen, Meri, that shit stain's

(01:35:01):
been building up for a hot minute.
Meri has been smearing that stain all around for episodes
now. And I almost forgot Meri and
Robyn teaming up about this caramel thing.
Oh yeah, and Meri's comment about how lying is OK as long as
you're honest later or whatever.

(01:35:24):
The gist of that comment is very Mormon.
It's very hide it until it blows up in your face.
Right. Yeah, it's almost like she lied
about having a caramel allergy or something.
It's just disturbing. That dirty whore.

(01:35:45):
Well, my should stain this episode goes to her partner in
crime, the one who could never be a shoplifter because she's
too bad at lying and she's just too giddy and she's just
laughing like an out of control schoolgirl.
And that would be Robyn Brown. Robyn should stain Brown.
The Robyn. Alice Brown.
Oh, excuse me, Alice. That's right, Her legal name is

(01:36:06):
finally there. It's finally Robyn Alice Brown
changing her last name for the 4th or 5th time.
Yeah, that's a little shit stainy to me.
That's just purely based on trying to give Robyn a shit
stain. Of course, I don't really care
about people's last names changing.
Purely based on the fact that she was probably trying to
commit fraud again and avoid credit card debt.

(01:36:27):
Well, this is it. Fraudulent, Fraudulent Robyn.
Allegedly. Allegedly, of course.
And that laughter was just unbearable.
The giddy, giddy, giddy. I'm a 13 year old having fun
with my friend. It was like, bitch, you're a
fucking grown ass woman. This is insane.
I mean, when you and I laugh like that, it's not because
we're at a store buying caramels to trick our your husband.

(01:36:50):
No your husband, no your. Husband.
And you're thinking our caramels are from his mother?
I mean, the entire thing is just not really that funny or cool
or interesting. And she made it seem like they
were having the time of their lives.
It was full of second hand embarrassment for me.
It made me think that Meri and her had had some drinks

(01:37:10):
beforehand and Meri could handle her alcohol and Robyn
couldn't. Oh yeah.
It felt like a teenage girl drinking for the first time with
her friends. Or just someone who doesn't
understand reality and thinks that stupid situations are
funny. Like the whole thing just didn't
make sense laughing that fucking hard.

(01:37:33):
It was cool and it was real and it was weird and I'm
preemptively giving her part of my should stain because of our
coming up on with her future purity speech.
Although we haven't heard it, itis definitely giving me a
sneeiry taste in my mouth. And then kissing Kody like a

(01:37:53):
wanton slut in front of her sister wives on Christmas
morning after giving him her fraudulent, I mean real Social
Security card. It just was inappropriate and I
would never do anything like that.
Obviously I am a woman of JosephSmith teachings and I would
never do anything like that. Oh my goodness.

(01:38:14):
Yep. Our Keep Sweet Moment this week
is another entry from our Season 6 Episode 1 giveaway for
some beautifully handcrafted towels that the spirit of Meri
protruded into your body to makeor entered in something.
Projected in my dreams. Projected into your dreams, This
is it. And this entry comes to us from

(01:38:37):
a YouTube submission from MagnaM2, Magna Magma Magma M21819 and
Magma Mag and Magda and Magda M 21819.
I'm just going to tell you guys to go back to.
Oh yeah, go back and look. Entries and look and you'll

(01:38:59):
obviously know who we're talkingabout and we appreciate it a
lot. Absolutely.
I'm sorry that I can't read. I'm a little like Robyn right
now. This user insert name says the
shit stain is Robyn for trying to launch their polygamous
centric business at a conventionin Saint George where even she
admits they hate polygamous. It's about as ridiculous as

(01:39:22):
trying to sell steak at a vegan convention.
Which is very true. Their mustard seed goes to
Christine for her blatant honesty and good support during
my sister wife's closet meetings.
And an honorable mention goes tothe woman at the convention that
said she was going to get money and never came back.
Oh, when she told Robyn I'm going to go to the bank to get

(01:39:43):
some cash and then never returned, that was a beautiful
moment. Absolutely thank you Magna
M21819 for your submission. We greatly appreciate it.
Thank you again to everyone who left your mustard seeds and shit
stains on our first episode ofseason 6.
We loved reading your mustard seeds and we even more enjoyed

(01:40:03):
reading your shit stains. Of course, as as the world turns
as is. How one operates as someone
allergic to caramel. It was really fun and I hope
that everybody keeps putting their shit stains and mustard
seeds on the comments of the platform that they listen on
because it makes me laugh out loud and I like to laugh out

(01:40:24):
loud. Don't like Robyn?
Don't like to laugh out loud as much as a 1 Robyn Brown does?
I love that if people just started leaving their mustard
seeds and shit stains on every episode that would be so fun to
read. It would be so fun.
That would be great. We are going to be your new
prophets. Don't worry everyone, we'll give

(01:40:45):
you future instructions. Please continue to listen.

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Sister Wives S6 E5 - Christmas Surprise

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