Cultivate Indifference

Say Hello

 Some things are good, some are bad, and some lie in between. That’s the core of what Epictetus teaches in his Discourses—that external things like wealth, health, pleasure, and even pain are indifferent. They aren’t inherently good or bad. What matters is how we respond to them.

Lately, I’ve been grappling with this idea, and if I’m honest, I’m not doing a great job of embracing it. I know the Stoic wisdom: focus on what’s in my control, detach from what isn’t. But how do you detach from something—or someone—that matters to you? How do you call something “indifferent” when it feels like the defining struggle of your life?

The truth is, I’ve spent too much time wrestling with the past, with regrets, with what could have been. I tell myself stories—some that paint me as the victim, some that cast me as the one at fault. But in the end, none of these narratives help me move forward. If anything, they keep me stuck, reliving the same emotions, the same grief.

The Stoics would say I need to change the story I tell myself. That suffering comes not from events themselves, but from my judgments about them. Maybe I’m giving too much power to things that don’t deserve it. Maybe the real battle isn’t with the past, but with my own attachment to it.

So, what does it mean to cultivate indifference? It doesn’t mean not caring. It means accepting things for what they are. It means recognizing that I can’t control the past, or how others feel, or even how long anything lasts. But I can control my response. I can choose to focus on virtues like patience, resilience, and wisdom instead of being consumed by what’s out of reach.

I won’t pretend I have this figured out. But maybe, just maybe, I can start shifting my focus. Instead of dwelling on what I’ve lost, I can put my energy into what I still have—the chance to grow, to learn, to build something meaningful from where I stand today.

So I leave you with this: What are you giving too much power to? What story are you telling yourself that might be holding you back? And what would happen if you let it go? 

Thank you for listening and joining me on my journey of self-discovery!

Mediations and Prompts influenced from The Daily Stoic Books

Please if you enjoy this content checkout Ryan's work