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October 9, 2025 19 mins
What happens when you constantly compare yourself to others? In this episode, Aaron Buchner, from Cactus, returns after a five-month hiatus to share a deeply personal story of emotional burnout caused by the pressures of social media comparison. Initially engaging in ‘doom scrolling’ for content ideas, Aaron found himself increasingly obsessed with likes, follows, and …

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Episode Transcript

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(00:02):
This is the No Pricks Allowed podcast with
Erin Buckner from Cactus.
Let us guide you through the prickly world
of finance. Are you ready for a change
to the approach of how financial advice is
given? Wanna ditch the financial confusion and embrace
your financial freedom? Let's revolutionize how you approach
personal finance in a positive and uplifting way.
Sit back, listen in, and enjoy the show.

(00:24):
Hey, everyone. I'm back. I know it's been
a while, a little over five months since
my last podcast episode. I kinda disappeared for
a while there dealing with some issues.
I know many of you have been asking
where did I go? Would I be making
more of these podcast episodes?
Then, yes, I am gonna be restarting things
in a different format.
As you can see, I am alone this

(00:45):
time. No cohost for now. But I wanna
tell you a story.
My story about how I completely
burned myself out without realizing
it, which resulted in me going full on
Kaiser Sose for the last five months. Yeah.
Now this wasn't

(01:05):
from overworking,
not from long hours or too many clients
or a packed calendar. No.
I burnt out from thinking too damn much.
And not the useful kind of thinking, not
the I'm gonna solve a problem, build a
plan, financial stuff.
I'm talking about the constant
pointless mental chatter that comes from comparing yourself

(01:27):
to everyone else.
And here's how it began.
I needed to come up with ideas for
my podcasts.
Articles,
email marketing, social media,
It's a lot of material to create.
But with one great idea,
creating all that stuff is easy peasy.

(01:49):
So
I would turn to social media.
I figured,
let's see what is popular line and what's
getting traction.
So
every night,
I'd grab my phone,
and I would do some doom scrolling.
At first, it was research. I was just
trying to find some topics people were talking

(02:11):
about. I'd scroll through other advisors, coaches, creators,
whatever you wanna call us.
Basically, people posting about financial topics. I'd watch
the reels, read their captions, think, okay. That's
not a bad idea. Maybe I'll try something
like that.
But then
what happened is I started to look at

(02:32):
their numbers.
The hundreds of likes, dozens of comments,
shares, and reposts.
Then I'd glance back at my posts,
the ones that sometimes I spend a little
too much crafting or all I thought was
great,
and I'd have 12 likes.
Now then
my research into ideas

(02:53):
slowly but surely
transformed into
this weight.
Why am I not getting what
they're getting?
I would look at their follower numbers,
and they wouldn't have that much more
than I would have.
So
I started to think, what is

(03:14):
that person doing that I'm not?
Why are they getting traction on social media
and mine are falling flat?
And little by little,
what started out as researched
started
feeling it started feeling heavy.

(03:35):
I wasn't looking for ideas anymore. I was
looking for validation,
and I wasn't finding it.
And at first, it was subtle.
I'd scroll.
I'd feel a little sting, go,
and move on. Maybe
because what they were saying isn't something I
would say because it wasn't me and I

(03:56):
didn't believe in it. No big deal.
But the more I scrolled and I kept
seeing the same posts
generating likes, comments, and followers,
I started to question myself more.
I started to think
things like,
am I even good at this?
Maybe I'm boring.

(04:17):
Do people hate me? Am I even putting
out the right content
that people want to see?
But yet,
I could tell
people were
because other people were doing what I was
doing. They were just getting traction.
And because my brain loves a good downward
spiral,

(04:38):
it didn't stop there.
Soon, I was questioning
everything.
I was questioning my personality,
my voice,
my whole approach to life.
Some people were saying what I was saying
and getting likes.
So it became that question of what is

(04:59):
it about me that is different?
Why are they like them, but not me?
And I started to imagine this alternate version
of me, the version that I guess I
was supposed to be.
The version you ultimately think of when you
first picture a financial advisor.

(05:21):
Maybe this version of me isn't something
maybe this version of me is something
yeah. Maybe this version of me isn't something
people wanted.
Maybe
this whole creation
and branding I did was wrong.
Maybe I needed to be

(05:42):
like everyone else.
Maybe
I needed to change everything I was doing
to be better.
And that comparison
messes with your head in a weird way.
I'm literally going through it back in my
head right now.

(06:02):
It's sneaky.
It starts with
harmless thoughts.
It starts with, wow. They're doing great.
And before you know it, it's whispering you're
behind.
It made me resentful and insecure all at
once. I'd scroll and see people posting the
same ideas. I'd share week before and their
posts would blow up.

(06:24):
And I started to think I literally said
that.
Why did no one care?
When I said it,
it felt personal, Like, the world was saying,
we just don't like who you are.
That feeling is exhausting.
It's this weird cocktail
of frustration, jealousy, and self doubt. You know?

(06:48):
You know it's stupid to care,
but you just can't stop caring.
Eventually,
writing podcast summaries, articles, and emails became the
most challenging thing known to man.
I would constantly question myself.
I'd look at what I was writing,

(07:08):
and then I would turn to social media
to see,
is that what they would say?
Is that what the algorithm wants?
And it would frustrate me more
because what I would normally say
was nothing
like what it was online.

(07:29):
It just pushed me down
this doomska spiral
of I am not good enough.
But I figured maybe
maybe it was just the writing. Maybe
I am seeing it right.
I have good ideas, but I'm just not
putting it down right. So I worked with
a copywriter to help with my posts.

(07:52):
So, hopefully,
it would land with people.
And even that stung at times,
because what I would write and I felt
proud of would be rewritten.
I felt like I couldn't even express myself
in the right way,
which just added on top of this self
doubt.

(08:13):
And, eventually, my brain just tapped out.
One day,
I completely lost it. I had what I
call
a full blown
emotional meltdown.
It was me
sitting alone,
ugly crying,
like, red faced, runny nose,

(08:33):
can't breathe crying with heavy
email music playing in my ears.
And
I wish I could say it was about
something big,
like a family crisis or losing a client.
But no.
It was because I couldn't figure out why
people online didn't care about what I was
saying.

(08:54):
It was because I felt
like I wasn't good enough
to do this.
And that's how far down the rabbit hole
I'd gone.
And the worst part, I wasn't even crying
about the content.
It wasn't the fact that I couldn't create
the stuff. I was crying because I generally
thought there was something wrong with me.

(09:18):
I felt like a failure.
I even wrote my business coach, well, ugly
crying, an email apologizing for failing,
saying,
I don't think I can keep doing this.
It's all become too much, and I need
to get away from the stress.

(09:39):
I felt like a failure.
The weird thing is writing that email
felt like the weight had been lifted off
my shoulders.
I had been personally holding on to this
feeling
for months
that
telling someone, even over an email, was enough
to give me some clarity.
Looking back, I know exactly what happened.

(10:02):
I wasn't burned out from working. I was
burned out from trying to be perfect. And
someone, I wasn't.
Perfection is one of those sneaky little lies
that sounds noble. You tell yourself, I just
wanna do my best. But what you really
mean is, I want to control how people
see me.
I was caring way too much about being

(10:24):
popular.
But the more I chased it, the worst
I felt. Because every time I didn't get
it, it confirmed the story in my head,
you're not
good enough.
It's wild how fast that thought can take
over. One day you're confident in creating,
and the next you're second guessing every word,
every idea,

(10:45):
every post.
And then something strange happened. I was lucky
enough to go on a three week vacation
to Europe after this mental breakdown.
Prior to that trip, I made a point
to get away from social media, get away
from scrolling, just disconnect, and enjoy the time
with my family and exploring Europe.

(11:06):
Doing that allowed me to focus on myself,
and I started to just act like myself
again.
I wasn't worried about,
is this right?
My head was clear so I can just
focus on being me,
and I became happier again.
I wasn't stressing about what people were saying

(11:26):
online.
I wasn't thinking, am I saying this post
the right way?
Will everyone like it?
Without the noise, I can actually think. I
can remember why I started creating in the
first place.
It wasn't for the numbers, not because I
generally but because I generally love connecting with
people, telling stories, and making ideas simple and
human.

(11:50):
And
I was just focusing on being happy in
the moment and enjoying being myself.
And from all of that, it hit me.
What if you just
let yourself be you again?
What if you stop chasing
their dreams
and goals and start to focus on your
own?

(12:11):
Quit worrying about what people
want to see and just create things
that feel like you.
It was simple, but it landed like a
punch.
Because I realized that everything I've done,
chasing all the likes,
all the approvals, all the perfection,

(12:32):
none of it mattered if I hated myself
in the process.
The realization reminded me of
something from years ago.
When I was in high school,
I was a Canadian
living in an American high school who was

(12:53):
also overweight
and a little socially awkward.
Whereas one of my older brothers,
he was the funny guy.
Everyone sin seemed to love him.
He make everyone laugh,
teachers, friends, random strangers at a bus stop.
And I I wanted that. I wanted to
be the funny one too.

(13:14):
I wanted what, I guess, most people in
high school wanted. They wanted to be popular,
and that's what he was.
So I tried.
I tried.
I studied how he told jokes.
I copied his timing. I even tried some
of his lines,

(13:35):
but they would never land the same.
Every attempt
was painfully awkward.
Eventually,
I realized I wasn't the funny guy,
and that was okay.
But the lesson didn't stick.
Because here I was, years later, repeating the
same pattern,
trying to be like everyone else instead of

(13:57):
just being myself.
So coming back this time, it will be
different.
I've stopped asking, will this get likes? And
started asking,
does this feel true to me?
If the answer was yes, I hit post.
If it's no, I delete it and I
move on.
That one rule has changed everything. The the

(14:19):
funny thing, once I stop chasing perfection,
the content that came from a real place,
the unfiltered stuff,
that's what resonated.
I have a clear focus on what I
am doing with social media now.
I had been so caught up in the
idea of being the best, having a post
go viral all the time as if that

(14:41):
really happens.
I'm now focused on showing up as myself
more.
I wanna talk on social media,
and I wanna be focused less on getting
likes and followers
and more as a means to show the
world of who I really am.

(15:02):
My socials aren't gonna be all facts and
figures and numbers.
I'm gonna embrace my personality and voice more,
something no one else can be better.
They can't be a better version of me.
This change in my mindset has helped me
a lot.
I'm still slow going on building my socials
as I constantly have to remind myself to

(15:23):
just focus on myself.
I'm working on getting my mojo back when
it comes to writing content and keeping up
with social media posts.
I've been working on these last posts for
a few months now,
trying to push away the negative thoughts and
focus more on me
and what I really need to do,
which is show off who I am and

(15:45):
be authentic as possible.
Trying to be like everyone else or copy
what they are talking about isn't gonna cut
it. So here I am being as authentic
as possible, sharing you my story about how
I burnt myself out emotionally,
breaking down
all over comparing myself to others on social

(16:06):
media and thinking I needed likes and followers
to validate who I really am.
So
if you take nothing else from the story,
take this.
Comparison
will destroy you if you let it.
It'll make you forget who you are.
It'll convince you that being

(16:29):
yourself isn't enough,
but you are enough.
You don't need to perform. You don't need
to polish every rough edge. You don't need
to show
you just need to show up messy, human,
and real.
I want you to focus on what is
important to you,

(16:49):
not some metric or algorithm.
Worry less about how did your investments perform
versus your neighbor and focus more on
what do you need
to be happy in life.
And I know it hurts to hear someone
generated a higher return than you did, or

(17:10):
someone has a nicer car or went on
yet another vacation.
But if you focus on how you're comparing
to them,
you're gonna find yourself doubting your decisions
that you've made in the past and starting
to make decisions based on what you think
you should do and not what you need
to do.
Like me, I don't need more likes and

(17:32):
followers online.
I just need to show up as myself.
And you don't need to have a better
looking car.
You just need a car that works for
your lifestyle.
In the end, I don't wanna see you
burnt out and struggling like I did.
I tried to keep it all to myself
and look where it got me.

(17:54):
I don't want this to happen with your
finances.
Now
I've written an article all about the negative
emotional decisions
we can make when comparing ourselves to others
when investing.
You can check out that article on my
website,
and I'll have the link below on the
show notes. So please do check it out.

(18:17):
Until next time, like,
follow, and subscribe.
Thank you for listening to the No Pricks
Allowed podcast with Erin Buckner from Cactus.
Click the follow button to be notified when
new episodes become available. Visit our website @prickfree.com
or give us a call at (613)
876-9899.

(18:38):
And don't forget to click the follow button
to be notified when new episodes become available.
The information covered and posted represents views and
opinions of the guest, and does not necessarily
represent the views, opinions of Cactus. The content
has been made available for informational and educational
purposes only.
The content is not intended to be a
substitute for professional investing advice.

(19:00):
Always seek the advice of your financial advisor
or other qualified financial service provider with any
questions you may have regarding your investment planning.
The contents of this podcast do not constitute
an offer or solicitation for residents in any
other jurisdiction
where either Erin Buckner and or Sterling Mutuals
is not registered
or permitted to conduct business. The opinions expressed

(19:23):
are those of the authors
and do not necessarily reflect the views or
opinions of Sterling Mutuals, Inc.
Mutual funds provided through Sterling Mutuals, Inc.
Commissions, trailing commissions, management fees, and expenses.
All may be associated with mutual fund investment
that please read the prospectus carefully before investing.
Mutual funds are not guaranteed.

(19:43):
Their values fluctuate frequently and past performance may
not be repeated.
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