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October 22, 2025 70 mins

Ryan first started experiencing a cognitive dissonance with regards to relationships pretty much from the beginning of dating in high school. In many ways, relationships just didn’t make sense to him in his twenties so he basically took a break and focused on things he did enjoy rather than trying to force his way into the dating game.

At about age 30 Ryan discovered some books and podcasts that introduced him to the idea of non-monogamy and polyamory and the rest is history… He dove right in. Over the last 14 years Ryan has been practicing non-monogamy in various configurations including a quad, a triad, and also being with his partner monogamously as life required at times.

Ryan also shares his experience in navigating relationships as someone who realized a few years ago in his late thirties that he’s autistic. As he describes it “It would be easier for me to solve a Rubik’s cube with my feet while blindfolded than to read non-verbal and social cues.” Even though he doesn’t have a medical diagnosis, his realization is helping him find tools that have made a huge difference in his life.

This is a wonderful conversation and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Check out the full show notes here.

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