Episode Transcript
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Michelle Gauthier (00:00):
Menopause
affects our entire body sleep,
memory, mood, metabolism and somany women just try to push
through like nothing's happening.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
(00:20):
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences andin each episode, you'll get a
strategy to bring more calm,ease and relaxation to your life
.
Hi friend, let me be honest.
(00:42):
I think menopause is having amoment.
I mean, a couple weeks back,Oprah had a primetime special
including Holly Berry and NaomiWatts and Mary Claire Haver,
who's the biggest doctor on thissubject right now, and I am so
happy that this is getting theattention that it deserves,
because it sucks andperimenopause and menopause are
(01:03):
completely overwhelming.
So that is why I have decidedto do an episode on this today.
There are so many symptoms.
Some of them are so weird andshow up in ways that you don't
expect.
Maybe you're just likeforgetting words mid sentence,
or snapping at everyone for noreason, or waking up at 3am
drenched in sweat or justwondering am I losing it?
Am I dying from these heartpalpitations?
(01:25):
You're not.
You're not crazy, but you maybe navigating one of the biggest
biological and emotional shiftsof your life, and no one gave
you a handbook.
Now I think the good news isour daughters will have the
handbook, but we, we did nothave the handbook, and certainly
our mothers and grandmothersdid not.
So this is what I want to talkto you about today, and if
(01:45):
you're not in perimenopause ormenopause or even close, maybe
you've got something else goingon physically.
Maybe you're just exhaustedbecause you're knee deep in
toddler chaos, or you're justfeeling off or having stomach
aches or headaches or some otherkind of illness.
This episode will help you too.
(02:05):
This is all about how we carefor ourselves when we're in a
season of overwhelm, especiallywhen it's something physical.
When you listen to this episodetoday, you're going to learn a
couple things.
Number one is how to tune intoyour body and really pay
attention to what's going on.
Number two is how to optimizethe way that you're thinking
about it, instead of havingnegative thoughts about
(02:28):
perimenopause or whatever isgoing on with you, to switch
your thoughts so that you canget to the third step, which is
taking action to make yourselffeel better.
So by the end of the episode,you'll know how to have the good
clarity of mind to take care ofyourself no matter what's going
on with you.
(02:51):
But before I jump into that, weare in the month of celebrating
Overwhelmed Working Woman'ssecond birthday.
She's a toddler and one of thethings that I'm asking of you
this month is reviews.
So if you listen to thispodcast regularly and have not
left a review, or if this isyour first episode and you
really like it, would you pleaseleave a rating and review?
Just the other day, I got amessage from someone on
Instagram who was a new podcastlistener and I asked her how she
(03:15):
heard about the podcast and shesaid she was just listening to
the podcast she normally listensto and it popped up as a
suggestion.
That is a perfect example ofwhat happens when we have a lot
of listeners and a lot ofreviews that it gets suggested
to people, and that makes me sohappy, because my goal is to
help all the women feel lessoverwhelmed, less stressed, so
(03:37):
that they can enjoy theirbeautiful lives more.
All right, now let's get back tomenopause and perimenopause.
I can think about this moment.
It was like two summers ago andI was sitting in a restaurant
with the handsome man friend.
It was summertime and we weregetting ready to go on a trip.
We were flying out that nightand the air conditioning was on
in there and I was like Are youhot in here?
(03:59):
He's like no, I mean no, I'mtotally fine.
And I literally felt like theheat was coming from inside me,
like it was coming out of mypores.
I don't know if anyone's seenthis, but lately I've been
seeing this meme of this womanand she's got a bald head and
she's having a hot flash, likesitting at a football game in
the fall when it's cold outside,and she's literally steaming.
(04:21):
And that is how I felt likethere is's got to be steam
coming off of my body.
And I was forgetting things like.
I am not a forgetful person.
If you know me personally.
People know and say to me allthe time oh my gosh, you have a
such a good memory.
I can't believe you rememberedthat I was just totally
forgetting things, obviousthings, like, for example, I
(04:41):
planned two trips on the sameweekend and never put together
that I had already planned oneStuff.
That is just not like me.
And then, despite eatinghealthy and working out, I was
like gaining fat in my belly,which is what happens when
you're low on estrogen, and thensometimes, like just recently,
I had cramps, for I think it was24 days in a row.
(05:04):
I mean, weird stuff happens andI guess the list of symptoms is
actually like 60 things Like ifyour ears itch, it could be
menopause or perimenopause.
So it's so many things and youjust feel so mentally off that
it's really hard to figure outwhat to do next.
So let's talk about the firstthing to do If you're feeling
(05:28):
physically off, if you'reexhausted.
That was the other thing.
Sometimes I would be soexhausted I felt like I couldn't
even sit up.
I was so tired.
So if you're feeling exhaustedor foggy or moody or like a
stranger in your own skin,you're looking at your body.
Like what is going on here?
It's not weakness or anything,it's just a hormones menopause
(05:48):
affects our entire body sleep,memory, mood, metabolism and so
many women just try to pushthrough like nothing's happening
.
Me, me, I was the person who wastrying to push through like
nothing was happening, and whatI was thinking is I had heard
that, like menopause, wasoptional, meaning some people
just don't really feel that manyeffects from it.
I really hope that's true and Ireally hope that's you.
(06:10):
But that was not me, but Idecided it was going to be.
So I was like this is fine,it's just, it's going to be
short lived.
This is not that big of a deal,but in trying to push through,
I think I just made it worse.
So remember that you can'tsolve what you won't see.
So the first thing to do isnotice and name what's going on
(06:32):
and tune into it.
So where am I feeling tension?
When do I feel like it's 1000degrees?
What's up with my sleep and myhunger and my energy and my
stomach aches and what is mybody trying to tell me that I
keep ignoring?
For me, it was helpful to juststart writing stuff down,
because you, first of all,literally forget and, second of
(06:54):
all, there's so much weird stuffthat it's almost hard to keep
track of what is going on.
So, after you're able to justadmit to yourself that something
is up, something is different,I think a lot of times women
don't want to admit that theyare going through this, because
it means that they're old, right, and everybody's always so
worried about getting old soit's like, no, I'm too young for
(07:16):
that.
That can't really be me.
So instead of just trying todeny it, just embrace it.
Jot down what's going on withyou.
Talk to your friends about it.
Just embrace it.
Jot down what's going on withyou, talk to your friends about
it, see if anybody else isfeeling the same way this is a
major topic of conversationamong my friend groups at the
moment and keep track of what'sgoing on in your body.
(07:36):
Once you realize what's going onin your body, then it's time to
talk about mindset.
You guys know from listening tothe podcast that the way that
we feel is always created by ourown thoughts.
So if you have a thought likeI'm falling apart, I should be
able to handle this.
What's wrong with me?
Oh my gosh, I'm getting so old,I'm disgusting.
(07:59):
Something is wrong with my body.
Okay, whatever it is, it'sgoing to create feelings of like
shame and anxiety andself-doubt.
And then when you feel that,what always happens when you
feel shame especially, is youkind of hide.
You hide how you're feeling.
Sometimes you can spiral, butdon't tell anybody about it.
You isolate yourself and youjust make yourself feel worse.
(08:22):
So already you're physicallyfeeling bad, and then your
thoughts can make you feel evenworse about it.
Instead, let's come up with athought that also feels true but
will get you into inspiredaction, trying to figure out
what you actually need or wantto do about this problem.
How about trying on?
A thought like this is a phase.
(08:44):
This is a phase that all womengo through.
This is completely normal.
I need more care right now, notto put more pressure on myself.
I'm a person who can figurethings out.
I need to figure out what'sgoing on with my body.
Any of those thoughts would begreat replacements for I'm
falling apart, or I be able tohandle this, or I'm so old, or
(09:07):
my body is disgusting, or any ofthe thoughts that your brain
might offer to you.
Once you've got a list of yoursymptoms and you kind of know
what's going on, then you tuneinto your brain and you shift
into a thought that helps you bemore proactive about the whole
thing.
The third part is to take action.
Now that you're tuned into yourbody and tuned into your
thoughts and you have created abetter thought than something is
(09:31):
wrong with me, then you canshift into taking empowered,
intentional action, even ifthat's small.
So the things that you could doare booking a doctor's
appointment to talk about yourhormone shifts or symptoms.
I would totally recommendeducating yourself.
Mary Claire Haver's book theNew Menopause is really good.
That Oprah special was reallygood.
(09:52):
Holly Berry has a communitythat she has created.
Naomi Watts has a new bookcoming out about it, and I will
link all of those things I justmentioned in the show notes.
So luckily for us now there isso much that you can read.
You can ask for help from yourpartner, your boss, your kids,
and not apologize for it.
(10:13):
This is the reason why thehandsome man friend has a
sleeping cardigan that he sleepsin at my house and he has extra
blankets and he's freezing coldand I am not freezing cold and
I have the window open I'm noteven joking even when it's 30
degrees inside.
God bless him.
But see, I just told them thatI cannot.
I mean I just couldn't possiblysleep unless it was really cold
(10:35):
in the house.
It's also really helpful,especially if you're feeling
shame or isolation, to talk to afriend or a counselor or a
coach or somebody and just tellthem how you're feeling.
I think talking among yourfriend groups this is a big
conversation among my friendgroups right now is just so
validating because you reallyrealize that you are not alone.
(10:58):
For generations, women had tojust suffer in silence like
nobody talked about this, andI'm thinking about when they
didn't have access to anything,even the knowledge about what
was going on in their body, andall of a sudden you hit a
certain age and you just feelabsolutely miserable and there's
just nothing to do about it.
We're so lucky to have thisinformation, to have hormones
(11:18):
and other medications availablethat we can take to make
ourselves feel better as wetransition, and by the one of
the things that they said abunch of times on the Oprah
special and is also what MaryClaire Haver, the doctor, says
all the time is that I've neverfelt better once people actually
get into menopause.
I think that's encouraging too,that this is a transition, kind
(11:39):
of like puberty.
It's a transition into adifferent phase of life and once
you get there, it's actuallyquite good.
We just need to take care ofpaying attention to our body,
paying attention to our thoughts, creating our community,
finding the right doctor anddoing all the right things for
(11:59):
ourselves as we transition.
So, in summary, perimenopauseand menopause are real and they
can feel overwhelming and theycan feel really powerful, but it
doesn't have to break you.
Your thoughts will shape how youmove through this transition
and you are always in charge.
You're not in charge of thethoughts that pop in your head,
but you can come up with newones and you can think them on
purpose.
(12:19):
You are also in charge of ifyou talk to other people about
it or not, so that you don'tfeel alone, and then taking
small, intentional actions sothat you can find the clarity
that you need so that you canfeel better.
Here's my do less for moresuccess tip for today.
When we allow our brain to godown the rabbit hole and spiral
(12:43):
out, we can waste so much timeworrying about something that
hasn't even happened yet.
So my challenge for you todayand my suggestion for how you
can save a lot of time is tonotice when you're doing that.
Notice when your brain is going15 steps in the direction of
something bad happening and juststop and ask yourself what
(13:05):
information do I have right nowand what do I know for sure?
Bring yourself back to thepresent moment.
If you can do that, and you cancut off all that thinking time
and worrying time, you will saveyourself so much time and you
will feel so much better.
Okay, that is a wrap for today.
If this episode gave youlanguage for what you have been
(13:27):
feeling or made you feel, seenand heard, why don't you share
it with somebody else who mightbe silently struggling or not so
silently struggling, and remindher that she's not alone, and
neither are you.
We're all in this together.
If you love this podcast andyou love this episode, would you
please leave a rating andreview?
(13:48):
Like I said at the beginning ofthe podcast, it makes such a
difference as to where it getsshown and how other people are
able to see the podcast.
It would mean a lot to me ifyou would take a second and do
that.
Thank you so much and have agreat week.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed podcast.
(14:12):
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthiercom.
See you next week.