210. What Do You Do When Your Kid Is the Problem?

When another parent pulls you aside and says your kid is the problem… what do you actually do?

In this episode, Andrew and Caroline get real about one of the hardest parenting moments: facing the possibility that your child is the one causing harm. From playground conflicts to teen behaviour that crosses a line, they unpack why so many parents jump to defensiveness and what it costs our kids when we do.

Through honest stories including Caroline’s own “my kid would never…” moment, they walk through how to stay grounded, gather the full story, and respond in a way that actually helps your child grow.

You will hear practical ways to
Respond without escalating conflict between parents
Talk to your child without shutting them down
Separate defending your child from excusing behaviour
Reinforce values like accountability, empathy, and self awareness
Support kids who struggle with impulse control or social cues

This episode is for parents who want to raise kids others trust, respect, and want to be around and who are willing to look inward to get there.

Homework Activities for Parents
The Full Story First Conversation
Ask “Anything I should know about today?”
Let them talk without interrupting
No correcting, no lecturing
Goal is to get their version before reacting

Values Check In
Ask: “What kind of person do you want to be at school?”
         “What matters more here being right or keeping the relationship?
Goal: build internal decision making

Pre Event Reset
Quick check in before school or social situations
“What did we talk about yesterday?”
“What would a good day look like?”
Goal: to interrupt repeat behaviour

Pattern Break for Impulsive Kids
Add structure or supervision in problem situations
Reduce unstructured time temporarily
Goal: to prevent behaviour before it starts

Separate Behaviour from Identity
Say “I am on your side. We still need to fix this.”
Goal: to maintain trust while addressing behaviour

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