218. Should kids always say "It's okay" after an apology?

Can the Words We Teach Our Kids Change Their Relationships?

Should children always reply "It's okay" when someone apologizes?

A conversation sparked by Brené Brown opens the door to a much bigger discussion about the language we teach children and the messages those words carry.

Andrew and Dr. Caroline explores why genuine apologies matter, why accountability should never disappear just because someone says "sorry," and how everyday interactions shape children's relationships for years to come.

They also discuss:

• why "I'm sorry" can become meaningless
• teaching children to solve problems together instead of blaming
• using I statements without creating defensiveness
• helping children feel heard during conflict
• modelling respectful communication every day
• why listening may be one of the most valuable relationship skills we can teach

Whether you're helping siblings work through conflict or supporting teens as they build friendships, this episode offers practical ideas for raising children who communicate with honesty, empathy and respect.

Homework Ideas

Homework 1: Listen Before Responding

Choose one conversation this week where your goal is simply to listen without interrupting, correcting or fixing.

Homework 2: Practise I Statements

Replace blame with ownership.

Instead of:

"You never listen."

Try:

"I'm feeling frustrated because..."

Homework 3: Brainstorm Together

The next time a family problem comes up:

• define the problem together
• write down every idea
• don't dismiss suggestions immediately
• choose one solution to test for a few days

Homework 4: Model Everyday Respect

Notice the small interactions children see:

• greeting neighbours
• thanking cashiers
• holding doors
• acknowledging others

These moments teach social skills more than formal lessons.

Homework 5: Rethink Apologies

The next time someone apologizes:

Rather than automatically saying "It's okay,"

try:

"Thank you for apologizing."

Notice how the conversation feels different.

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