In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Dr. Joli Hamilton, a depth psychologist, relationship coach, and AASECT - certified sex educator whose doctoral research focuses on jealousy and consensual non monogamy. The panel explores what jealousy actually is, how it shows up in the body, and why the healthiest long-term approach is not suppression or immediate reframing, but naming it, understanding its “flavor,” and building tools for emotional regulation.
Dr. Joli introduces practical concepts like nervous system grounding, regular relationship check-ins, the power dynamic between experienced and newer partners, the difference between jealousy and envy, and the importance of a “jealousy rescue plan.” The episode also dives into the eroticization of jealousy, including why it can be powerful when done safely and why it can be dangerous without strong agreements, skills, and a rescue plan.
Alonzo Banx, Dr. Joli Hamilton, Solara, Captain Lynn, Cookie, Patty, John
All of my jealousy resources
https://www.jolihamilton.com/jealousyresource
Playing with Fire Podcast
https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/joli-hamilton/
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