March 30, 2026 • 27 mins
Nat and Kristen are battling sinus colds AND the state of the world - turns out both are equally congestion-inducing. From their city's dodgy sewage situation to a looming fuel crisis, a lonely Gen Z kid, and powerful men making questionable decisions, they unpack why we've all gone a bit numb to the chaos.
They cover the spectrum of crisis responses (are you a checker, an avoider, an evangelist, or just fully paralysed?), why your amygdala was simply not built for the 24/7 news cycle, and how to take back some control without either doom-scrolling yourself into a spiral or burying your head completely in the sand. Hopeful-ish. Practical. Sniffly.
Loved it? Share it and leave us a 5-star review! Got a topic for us? Email hello@powrsuit.com. Follow Powrsuit on LinkedIn and Instagram, or join us at www.powrsuit.com for bite-sized professional development that actually fits into your week. 'Til next time, Powrsuiters!
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:38):
This session is fitting today because you will hear that Nat
and I are at the end of sinus cold.
You'll hear the congestion. So we are feeling a bit of a
mess, but we want to chat about the world is a bit of a mess.
But here's how to function anyway.
And I want to share a few thingsthis weekend that happened that
kind of tipped me over the edge,which is ironic because I've
(00:59):
become numb to every crisis that's unfolding right in front
of me every day. But I do think that that's an
important distinction and why, but not any thoughts on on
what's happening with you these days and the world.
Well, I was hoping that I would sound really like one of those
glamorous, throaty, super celebrity.
I don't think so. I think I'm still at that.
(01:19):
You sound like a very sick person.
I don't feel that sick, but I'm definitely operating at about
80%. So be worth if the brain starts
fogging over. Yeah.
I mean, I, my TV has decided that this time of all times is
the perfect time to switch to CNN being the default when you
turn it on. Used to just be like a nice
pretty scenery picture and now we're straight into whatever's
(01:41):
happening in the world and it's usually bad.
So that has been a really interesting experiment in what
happens when you sort of run on autopilot.
I left it on this morning and I am definitely turning it off.
I try and listen to my news through breakfast TV, which is
like curated happy news. And and that's not to say I
don't stay in touch. Like I do know what's happening
in the world, but I really and limit it to like, I understand
(02:03):
what's happening, but when I can't do anything about it, just
like be aware of it, but don't like be obsessed with it.
That's like my approach. I also have been spending the
last few weeks talking about howamazing it is that Wellington's
turning a corner. We've been in a bit of a slump
for the last probably couple of years.
Anyone who doesn't know much about Wellington, we are in an
earthquake area. So we had some pretty big
(02:24):
earthquakes what, maybe a decadeago.
And since then there's been a lot of buildings that have just
been permanently shut down. There's been little investment
in like cool stuff and more in just earthquake strengthening.
We've had. We're a government town, la, la,
la. Lots of redundancies.
But I feel like 2026 is turning a corner.
There's some really cool new stuff happening.
(02:45):
Everyone's feeling like really motivated.
And then everyone's like, yeah, but now we're running out of
petrol. And I'm like, Oh my goodness,
It's like the start of COVID. Like you're hearing all these
words like it's like 2020 again,which is not that long ago where
we're starting to talk about what happens at crisis level 1-2
and three. And it's just like, oh wow,
we're just going to do that again.
It's funny that you're like feeling hope because in my peer
(03:07):
group, there's half of us, sorry, there are half of them
that are feeling hope and half of us that are feeling really
sad about our little city that'sthat's fumbling at the moment.
And I say that because I love being out in the ocean and we've
had, but basically our entire septic system in Wellington be
leaking into the ocean. So it's an unsafe place to be to
(03:28):
swim. And a summer of no surfing is a
little bit distressing and disappointing, I should say, due
to the lack of investment infrastructure.
And who knows, I go on, I go on.So that's been a little bit
disappointing. And then on top of that, I saw a
stat. This is one of the things that
happened to me on the weekend that just hurt my heart.
And I heard a stat that our economic in flux of people, what
(03:51):
is it called? Like our net migration into
Wellington is 800 people in the next 5 years.
Like I'm like, Oh my gosh, we own assets.
That's the. Estimated amount I'm.
Sorry, I'm sorry. OK, this is the you can see
we're not in my brains lip, but I'm like, Oh my gosh, panic
stations 800 people were never going to be able to leave the
city anyway. I'd regress.
(04:11):
That was one of the things that I thought, Oh dear, signs are
not showing. The second thing is, yes, we
have got a looming fuel crisis, and I saw a headline yesterday
in the New York Times that said this feels like March 2020, and
I'd agree with that. We know something's coming.
We've been in the unknown before.
It just as feels like the calm before the storm.
That's the second thing. The third thing that is like
(04:33):
really rocked me is I have a, myson's friend is apparently
depressed and he's put out hundreds of job applications.
He's living on his own in the city.
He's really struggling. He's probably spending far too
much time online, which we know is really unhealthy.
And he's alone and sad. And I'm like, oh gosh.
So I'm just going to pull this kid into my house and kind of
(04:55):
care for him. And I don't know, they just they
hit really close to home. Whereas I think it's important
that to also note that the worldseems to be on fire a bunch of
powerful men, which is like my worst, you know, this is like my
kryptonite, powerful men in power making really bad
decisions. And I just like, but I've become
(05:19):
almost immune to every single time I turn on the TV, like it's
just like nothing affects me anymore.
And they call this psychic numbing, is that the more people
are suffering, the less we feel because we can't become, we kind
of adjust to a new normal, whichis actually insane.
Yeah, it's the. Do you remember back in the day,
there was famine in various countries in Africa.
(05:42):
And back then, everyone just assumed Africa was 1 country and
it would. And the ads would say the
problem's too big, what can I do?
And they were really trying to point to that feeling of like,
it just felt so insurmountable when there were these millions
of people starving in the world and you're so far away.
And yeah, so charities really kind of understood that psychic
(06:02):
numbing philosophy. Well, that's how we are
psychically numbed. And that leads to inaction, I
think. And and I think you we've talked
about this a bit before that, that they've got the big global
stuff that you do get numb to and then it kind of comes to
your doorstep and you're not numb to.
And I think that's maybe something a philosophy or maybe
it's in our wiring to stop us imploding of we actually have to
(06:25):
focus on what's in front of us and the stuff we can control.
And if we all do that, then actually we might have a little
bit of an impact. And I think when you talk about
this poor boy and I, I was thinking, well, if you're not
taking him into your home, I will.
But we both watch the Louis Theroux documentary as well on
the manosphere. And if you haven't watched it, I
highly recommend if you've seen little snippets on Instagram,
(06:47):
it'll be all the like stuff thatgets the eyeballs on Instagram.
But I thought it was a really thoughtful documentary on some
of the wider systemic issues. And we've all heard about
learning this epidemic. So we've all heard about a lot
of stuff. And I felt like it really very
thoughtfully and I would say as respect, thankfully, as you can
showcase the motivations behind this group of people who have in
(07:09):
many ways had the opposite reaction to this person you're
speaking about. But under the same situations,
feeling alone, feeling like hopeless about finding a job,
feeling like the world is going to the custard.
And some people go to feeling really sad and depressed.
And others have sort of found this way of almost faking it
(07:30):
till they make it in terms of nothing matters.
I'm just all about money and kind of nihilistic and and it's
kind of interesting that the wayI interpreted that documentary
is it's the same factors and it's the sense of hopelessness.
And like they said in that in the manosphere documentary,
fathers absent or abusive a world which there is less
(07:52):
economic opportunities than there were for everyone.
It's just that women probably feel at least because we had
none and now we're getting some.So there's there's, yeah,
there's a lot of big factors andthey play out in micro levels
all day, every day. It's interesting when you said
that I was reminded of a new term that's come out recently
and it's called collective narcissism.
(08:12):
And this is, I'm just found an article that's like the
destruction of reality, reason and society.
And I think in a world where we increasingly lack control of,
you know, it could be the way careers used to unfold and the
way we used to be able to provide for families and the
lack of toxic kind of behavior on line and all of this stuff.
(08:36):
We are now in a world that is just so uncertain and so noisy
that there's apparently this rise of collective narcissism
where masses of society are making really destructive
decisions. Yeah.
Do you know, it's interesting though, I feel like, and this is
probably where optimism and pessimism come in.
(08:56):
And I don't think I'm an optimist.
I think I'm a realist, but I skew towards optimism of human
nature has always been and will always be to find a way through.
And like, even to remember that movie Lord of the Flies?
And it was about, you know, the kids.
Yeah. That's like completely the
opposite of what actually happens when people end up in
those situations. And there have been situations
(09:17):
like that and what actually tends to happen as people come
together and they work together and they figure out how to come
through a such a really, really tough thing together.
So I think we're seeing sometimes the worst instincts of
humans and it can feel back. It's everyone, but it's actually
the 2% that are very loud and that everyone else is actually.
And even if you're talking aboutlike US politics or something
(09:39):
that feels really divisive. I reckon if you polled most
people, most people have the similar fundamental values.
If they think it's a different way of getting there, that's
fine. But we, we let the loud voices
sway how we feel about how badlythe world is going.
And yes, there are some powerfulloud voices, but over time, I
(10:01):
don't know, there's never been asituation where evil prevails or
where humans give up. And so I kind of just feel like
we will muddle our way through this the way we always have.
Hopeful, hopeful, hopeful. Thank you.
That's super encouraging. Let's bring it individual.
Don't. Believe a word of it.
I'm going to hang on to it. No, it is, I, I do in a way.
(10:23):
I, I, my brain can compute that because I have to believe that
those in positions of power and influence, sanity will prevail
and the next term or in the future, you know, sanity will
prevail. So, and I have to believe that
because, you know, hope. But I do think that our
(10:43):
amygdala, I was obviously doing a bit of research, was not built
for this 24/7 news cycle. Like you said, the CNN, like we
were not built for crises after crises, after crises that play
out right in front of us, in ourfeeds, in front of our eyes all
the time. And as a result, it is
exhausting and tiring. And as a result, anxiety goes
up. It's hard to concentrate, stay
(11:04):
motivated and feel safe. Actually, especially, you know,
not knowing if we're going to have fuel tomorrow and what that
even means. Like it's like the COVID, you
know, something's happening, butwhat does it even mean?
And AI let like let's add that on to the mix as well and like
will the next generation even beable to work?
I did see it last last doom dooms girly thing was I saw
something yesterday that talked about the weavers, which were
(11:27):
completely disrupted. You know, when the loom came
into play and fabric was mass produced and traded, there was
an entire sector of people and working people that were put out
of work like in one fell swoop. And she was likening that to
white collar jobs and AI. She's like they, the weavers
(11:47):
were no different. They had four day work weeks and
flexible work and they could come and go as they pleased.
Then they held an immense amountof power.
And yet here we are that entire,you know, And I'm like, OK.
But then you think about that. Even when you think about
typists and secretaries, that whole industry fell apart, taxi
industry fell apart, motel industry fell apart.
(12:09):
All of these industries fall apart.
And every single time they fall apart.
It's almost like, OK, here's howI put it.
When you look at Simone Biles atthe Olympics doing her
gymnastics, you look at her and you go, there is absolutely no
way humans could ever push the limits more than that because
this is the peak of human potential.
(12:30):
And then you go back 10 years and we thought the same then and
we thought the same then 20 years before.
We think it was sprinting. You're like looking at these
people run like 9 second, 100 meters going.
There is no way we can beat that.
And yet we do. And I think every time one of
these industries is disrupted, we are basing our future focus
(12:50):
on what we know to be true now. And what it actually takes is
imagining a whole world that is fundamentally different, which
is very hard for humans to do. We're not designed for that,
most of us. So I I do feel like looking back
is a nice way to look forward and just go in the past.
Every time we've hit one of these situations, things have
changed and evolved and we've ended up in a future that we
(13:12):
couldn't imagine. I I just feel like, yeah.
I love it. I, I think this is a really
appropriate time to go in spectrum of responses because
you've described, you've described your response quite
well a couple times. And I would, it's like an
informed optimist in a way. I might combine like you are
like I'm informed, but I have tostay somewhat detached, but I am
(13:32):
an optimist that I will be fine.So there's like this kind of
informed yet detached optimist, like you have to function, you
have to believe that humans willprevail and we have the ability
and the tools and the community and the ability to collaborate
to so that everything will be OK.
So I do love that there is the checker, which I've caught
(13:54):
myself at the start of. I recall the, the Israel
Palestine conflict. I was the checker.
I refreshed the news feed constantly.
I could not switch off. I found every podcast available.
I probably did the same in Trumpterm 1.
I have been better this. I mean, I've had to be better.
Like honestly, like what? What I, I can't be the checker
anymore. I cannot refresh the news
(14:15):
anymore. I've started to limit, you know,
Anyway, never mind. So there's the checker, then
there's the avoider, Then there's the avoider, the head in
the sand, Everything fine. I do think of a gorgeous.
To be like, you do know they were right, invaded Iran, right?
And she's like, what? The avoider he's.
Probably more of a detached optimist than me.
She's like, what am I going to do about them invading around?
(14:36):
Yes, OK, OK, well, there is an avoider where it's like
everything is fine and then there's the pair lies.
They know something's wrong, butbut like just are totally total
paralysis to act on anything, you know, just stuck that freeze
symptom, which again is is very common with the amygdala.
Am I missing any? Did I you know any that you
thought that others might resonate with?
(14:58):
The other one I've noticed is that what is it?
Is it the evangelist? I'm going to call it that.
And that's the people you see. And I feel like I've been
exposed to a few of these on Instagram or in at a BBQ or
wherever where they're like but.Gaza.
Why aren't you doing more? Why aren't you sharing more?
(15:18):
And they get a sense of control from sharing links and talking
about it and being like on that team of I'm doing something.
And my challenge is always like,I am up for doing something.
Like you tell me what's going tohave an impact and I will be on
that first bus there. But I, I do think awareness and
pressure does do something when especially because we're showing
(15:42):
governments what we care about. But I feel like that kind of
really confrontational style of do more without really being
clear on what to do is I find that one quite like it is
obviously solving a sense of lack of control for someone.
And, and I do think there's a bunch of people who jump to that
mode like, yeah, yeah. Have you seen anyone in that
(16:04):
position? 100% of course, because I and I
do relate to it as well. In my 20s, I was probably more
of that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I and I think you get, you know, older, wiser, tired or who
knows? But I, I do think what I do like
is when campaigns are organized.And when I think about campaigns
(16:25):
that are organized, I think of crises such as the Christchurch
mosque shooting, the Christchurch earthquake.
I mean, how ironic to, you know,to horrific things of that city.
But what I mean by organized is there was a collective response
in that here are three things you can do.
And I remember that organizations united around the
(16:48):
Muslim population in New Zealandand donated.
And, you know, there are things where it was like step 123 and
you could do one of those steps and still feel a part of the
solution. And I, I just recall those times
of being calm, collectiveness, like you said, humans coming
together and it being very clearwhat we could do.
(17:08):
And I just wonder, in a world oftotal uncertainty, maybe we just
don't have the collective. Like, here's the smartest things
to do. And often there is one like the
and I've noticed more and more so when some of these big events
happen, there are shared lists through respected news media of
here are the organizations that are on the ground, donate to one
(17:30):
of these. And like obviously do that if
there is like, like, because I feel like even things like
petitions.com or whatever it is now there's like a million
petitions everything. And I'm like, I think we need to
go back to just having one that we all sign rather than like 100
that have 10 signatures. So I do, and, and there's a
whole bigger argument as well with nonprofits and how everyone
(17:51):
starts their own versus just supporting one and like having a
centralization. But I, yeah, I feel like those
spectrum of responses, we probably like the drama
triangle, jump through them a bit and you can find yourself
easily in one and then have to sort of work through to get to
1. That's slightly healthier for
you, for each of us because it is so easy.
And like, I feel like that even now with this, like it will be
(18:13):
interesting to see in like 2 months time.
But this pending oil crisis and you're like, OK, so we may end
up with no oil. And I'm not someone who's like,
Oh, well, the government will sort it because, you know, I
don't think that I'm sort of a capitalist on that front.
Like, I don't think that's a good thing.
I'm also not someone who's racing out to fill my car up
(18:34):
because I'm like, I'll probably be the first person to just stop
driving. We're in a privileged position
to stop driving for a while. But yeah, it is sort of like,
how do you sort of work through each one of those responses to
get to 1 that you can kind of live with?
And maybe this is also in a weird way, a way to practice the
skills that we need at work these days, which has been kind
(18:57):
of somewhat uncomfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty.
Like all of these things are ambiguous and they're uncertain
and there's no clear outcome. And there's a lot of hard things
and starting to like really grapple with how do you sit in
that and take control where you can and like, face the harsh
facts head on. But hold have a plan or have a
(19:20):
idea of how it turns out? Well, it's something that works
out really nicely when it comes to redundancies and restructures
and business pivots and all of that stuff we're facing these
days as well. Absolutely.
And where we can control to control.
So let's get in. Let's just deep dive into that a
little bit and maybe just give some tips that have worked for
us. And I like how you talked about
(19:42):
this kind of sphere of control and there's so much ambiguity
and things do happen to us, but where in that environment
situation, where can you actually affect what is, what
are the things that you can control?
Just start there. So I that's the first thing I
(20:03):
want to kind of say. It's just a bit of a sphere of
control. Reset and just ask yourself
what's the smallest thing. Step I can take to take back
control of whatever the situation is going on around me.
And that could be something as simple as like going out for a
walk or turning the TV off or putting a time box on,
scrolling, because if you are ina state of panic, you are not
(20:26):
being helpful to anyone like that.
That's the reality. And what is that like?
I've been watching The News Reader, which is a really cool
Australian show in the 80s, but it also really highlights like
bad news is very good for news organizations.
Like they actually love bad newsbecause eyeballs turn to them.
These people who are glued to like figuring it out or, or
(20:49):
stuck in that state of panic. And, and there are a lot of
arguments that news has led to people being more easily
controlled because when you havea population that lives in fear,
they're looking for a solution. So like really trying to take
yourself out of that fear mode is a really good place to start
when you are thinking about whatyou can control.
(21:11):
I think you've described boundaries as well, like
boundaries that actually work for us and our families and our
friends. And if that is limiting the
scrolling, doom scrolling, online podcast, whatever it is
that's actually not taking us forward or get it or put it, if
we're in spiral, it's time to pull out the boundaries, which
feels like a very healthy response.
(21:33):
Yeah. And I think that probably covers
to how we communicate with our friends.
Like I feel like that kind of cancellation, not cancellation
of meetings, but or like ghosting.
But the idea of cancelling bad people rose probably what was
like 1020 years ago as a result of really powerful people
getting away with really terrible things.
(21:54):
And one of the things that normal people could control is
no longer supporting them. So there was a case of a couple
of musicians who had abused their wives and girlfriends and
people stopped listening to their music.
So that used to be a tool, that was a control tool, but now it's
become a weaponized tool where anyone, anyone disagree with,
they get cancelled for saying ordoing anything.
(22:15):
And I actually feel like the boundaries thing we need to all
practice now is being able to debate ideas and to disagree
with each other politely and considerately and not assuming
that someone who thinks or votesdifferently than you is bad.
Because that divisiveness is what leads bad things happening.
Whereas if we can relearn how todisagree and get along and have
(22:38):
healthy debates or keep it to the topic, not making it
personal, I actually think the rest of us will be much better
at coming together and being sort of a united front and able
to tackle these things together rather than sort of picking our
tribes and ending up with, you know, leaders who we don't
really like. I don't, I don't disagree with
(23:00):
anything you've just said. So fabulous.
I'll highlight that. So fully support that.
Like going down any red pill, blue pill is not good for anyone
really. And we actually need diverse
perspectives and healthy debate.I'm currently on red pills, just
by the way, a whole bag of red pills.
Is that in the bad one or the good one?
(23:21):
Yeah, that's, I think the red pill is, Oh my gosh, I can't
remember is in the Meadowsphere.I can't.
Remember, I think. It was red pills.
Yeah. They're like, take the red pill.
I think. I think it is.
Look, I and I just like to end on anxiety versus useful action.
And this is something that can apply to all sorts of scenarios,
is that we will feel things. I think it's very normal to feel
things when we're facing so muchchange, ambiguity and frankly,
(23:44):
crisis. And there's a point at which we
have to breathe, we have to stretch, we have to laugh, we
have to get out of our heads andout of anxiety and take useful
action. We're we're huge fans of small
steps. And so when confronted with
uncertainty around AI, get curious about AI, learn a little
bit more about it, use it, encourage your the next
(24:08):
generation to get really curiousabout that.
When we're unsure of, yeah, I don't know, any other thoughts
around other small actions that we can take instead of sitting
in anxiety. And sitting and stewing this.
And I actually need to look intothis because I've heard two
different reasons for this. But the origin of self-care
either came from or it could have been sort of a combination
(24:28):
of both the black civil rights movement back in the 60s,
fifties, sixties, 70s, and the AIDS campaign for all the people
who had been very, very much ignored and absolutely
criminally negligent health industry around them.
And so those groups both recognize that you had to
(24:51):
campaign hard all day, but in order to protect yourself, you
had to practice self-care, whichsometimes meant having a good
time, going out partying, havingfun, laughing with your friends
to replenish. And so I, like I said, I want to
dig into this more and, and findout exactly the background, but
I really love it as a philosophythat sometimes when really bad
(25:13):
things are happening and we're feeling stressed, it feels wrong
to have a good time And it feelslike we should be serious and
stressed and anxious the whole time.
But actually, that's the exact opposite thing.
Yes, you can be and time boxer and really take like like
Kristen shared those actions of what can I do to contribute?
What can I help with? What can I do to make sure that
I'm not over stressing myself, but actually pause sometimes and
(25:36):
just remember, we are alive in this world.
It is ultimately this beautiful Gaia we live in and and look
after yourself and have a littlebit of fun because it's not
hurting anyone for you to have abit of fun and to and to and to
be happy even when times enough.Well said, Well said.
Thank you for your retail. Kristen, it's the retail.
(25:58):
No, it is a hopeful message in what can be uncertain time, so
please do reach out if you're feeling like you want to chat to
someone. We've got an incredibly
supportive community of almost 800 women who are going to be in
your corner. If you are feeling a little bit
alone, just reach out to hello@powersuit.com and we'll
get you all set up and we can work in your budget too, so be
(26:19):
well everyone you. Noticed that just tangent last
week, someone came up to us and she was like, we need more in
person meet ups. We have in person power suit
meet ups by the way now and theyare the best because everyone's
joined Power Suit open to meeting people, open to, you
know, walking in, being friendly, all of the stuff that
we normally scared about. And she was just like, there was
just something so nice about walking into a Cafe, meeting up
(26:42):
with, I don't know how many 2040other power suitors.
And she was just like, it was just such a buzz to just know I
was going to be welcomed, I was going to be accepted.
I was going to meet great people.
And a few other people have saidthat too, that they're like,
gosh, power suit is interesting.And we're like, yeah, that's who
we attract. But it is if you are feeling
that, like there are places you can go and it's not just power
(27:03):
suit, but there are places you can go, that you will find
pockets of amazing people who are there to support you, who
are there to have a nice chat, who are happy to talk through
the things that are like top of mind because we all have them.
And it can help. So go find those people.
Hello at powersuit.com everyone reach out if you are in need of
a bit of support and we got yourback and we will catch everyone
(27:24):
next time. Bye for now.
Welcome to Power Up, the podcastthat uncovers the unique
challenges women leaders face today.
Join your hosts Nat and Kristen as we dive into the tough topics
and provide actionable insights you can apply right now.
Don't forget to hit subscribe soyou don't miss any episodes.
(00:38):
This session is fitting today because you will hear that Nat
and I are at the end of sinus cold.
You'll hear the congestion. So we are feeling a bit of a
mess, but we want to chat about the world is a bit of a mess.
But here's how to function anyway.
And I want to share a few thingsthis weekend that happened that
kind of tipped me over the edge,which is ironic because I've
(00:59):
become numb to every crisis that's unfolding right in front
of me every day. But I do think that that's an
important distinction and why, but not any thoughts on on
what's happening with you these days and the world.
Well, I was hoping that I would sound really like one of those
glamorous, throaty, super celebrity.
I don't think so. I think I'm still at that.
(01:19):
You sound like a very sick person.
I don't feel that sick, but I'm definitely operating at about
80%. So be worth if the brain starts
fogging over. Yeah.
I mean, I, my TV has decided that this time of all times is
the perfect time to switch to CNN being the default when you
turn it on. Used to just be like a nice
pretty scenery picture and now we're straight into whatever's
(01:41):
happening in the world and it's usually bad.
So that has been a really interesting experiment in what
happens when you sort of run on autopilot.
I left it on this morning and I am definitely turning it off.
I try and listen to my news through breakfast TV, which is
like curated happy news. And and that's not to say I
don't stay in touch. Like I do know what's happening
in the world, but I really and limit it to like, I understand
(02:03):
what's happening, but when I can't do anything about it, just
like be aware of it, but don't like be obsessed with it.
That's like my approach. I also have been spending the
last few weeks talking about howamazing it is that Wellington's
turning a corner. We've been in a bit of a slump
for the last probably couple of years.
Anyone who doesn't know much about Wellington, we are in an
earthquake area. So we had some pretty big
(02:24):
earthquakes what, maybe a decadeago.
And since then there's been a lot of buildings that have just
been permanently shut down. There's been little investment
in like cool stuff and more in just earthquake strengthening.
We've had. We're a government town, la, la,
la. Lots of redundancies.
But I feel like 2026 is turning a corner.
There's some really cool new stuff happening.
(02:45):
Everyone's feeling like really motivated.
And then everyone's like, yeah, but now we're running out of
petrol. And I'm like, Oh my goodness,
It's like the start of COVID. Like you're hearing all these
words like it's like 2020 again,which is not that long ago where
we're starting to talk about what happens at crisis level 1-2
and three. And it's just like, oh wow,
we're just going to do that again.
It's funny that you're like feeling hope because in my peer
(03:07):
group, there's half of us, sorry, there are half of them
that are feeling hope and half of us that are feeling really
sad about our little city that'sthat's fumbling at the moment.
And I say that because I love being out in the ocean and we've
had, but basically our entire septic system in Wellington be
leaking into the ocean. So it's an unsafe place to be to
(03:28):
swim. And a summer of no surfing is a
little bit distressing and disappointing, I should say, due
to the lack of investment infrastructure.
And who knows, I go on, I go on.So that's been a little bit
disappointing. And then on top of that, I saw a
stat. This is one of the things that
happened to me on the weekend that just hurt my heart.
And I heard a stat that our economic in flux of people, what
(03:51):
is it called? Like our net migration into
Wellington is 800 people in the next 5 years.
Like I'm like, Oh my gosh, we own assets.
That's the. Estimated amount I'm.
Sorry, I'm sorry. OK, this is the you can see
we're not in my brains lip, but I'm like, Oh my gosh, panic
stations 800 people were never going to be able to leave the
city anyway. I'd regress.
(04:11):
That was one of the things that I thought, Oh dear, signs are
not showing. The second thing is, yes, we
have got a looming fuel crisis, and I saw a headline yesterday
in the New York Times that said this feels like March 2020, and
I'd agree with that. We know something's coming.
We've been in the unknown before.
It just as feels like the calm before the storm.
That's the second thing. The third thing that is like
(04:33):
really rocked me is I have a, myson's friend is apparently
depressed and he's put out hundreds of job applications.
He's living on his own in the city.
He's really struggling. He's probably spending far too
much time online, which we know is really unhealthy.
And he's alone and sad. And I'm like, oh gosh.
So I'm just going to pull this kid into my house and kind of
(04:55):
care for him. And I don't know, they just they
hit really close to home. Whereas I think it's important
that to also note that the worldseems to be on fire a bunch of
powerful men, which is like my worst, you know, this is like my
kryptonite, powerful men in power making really bad
decisions. And I just like, but I've become
(05:19):
almost immune to every single time I turn on the TV, like it's
just like nothing affects me anymore.
And they call this psychic numbing, is that the more people
are suffering, the less we feel because we can't become, we kind
of adjust to a new normal, whichis actually insane.
Yeah, it's the. Do you remember back in the day,
there was famine in various countries in Africa.
(05:42):
And back then, everyone just assumed Africa was 1 country and
it would. And the ads would say the
problem's too big, what can I do?
And they were really trying to point to that feeling of like,
it just felt so insurmountable when there were these millions
of people starving in the world and you're so far away.
And yeah, so charities really kind of understood that psychic
(06:02):
numbing philosophy. Well, that's how we are
psychically numbed. And that leads to inaction, I
think. And and I think you we've talked
about this a bit before that, that they've got the big global
stuff that you do get numb to and then it kind of comes to
your doorstep and you're not numb to.
And I think that's maybe something a philosophy or maybe
it's in our wiring to stop us imploding of we actually have to
(06:25):
focus on what's in front of us and the stuff we can control.
And if we all do that, then actually we might have a little
bit of an impact. And I think when you talk about
this poor boy and I, I was thinking, well, if you're not
taking him into your home, I will.
But we both watch the Louis Theroux documentary as well on
the manosphere. And if you haven't watched it, I
highly recommend if you've seen little snippets on Instagram,
(06:47):
it'll be all the like stuff thatgets the eyeballs on Instagram.
But I thought it was a really thoughtful documentary on some
of the wider systemic issues. And we've all heard about
learning this epidemic. So we've all heard about a lot
of stuff. And I felt like it really very
thoughtfully and I would say as respect, thankfully, as you can
showcase the motivations behind this group of people who have in
(07:09):
many ways had the opposite reaction to this person you're
speaking about. But under the same situations,
feeling alone, feeling like hopeless about finding a job,
feeling like the world is going to the custard.
And some people go to feeling really sad and depressed.
And others have sort of found this way of almost faking it
(07:30):
till they make it in terms of nothing matters.
I'm just all about money and kind of nihilistic and and it's
kind of interesting that the wayI interpreted that documentary
is it's the same factors and it's the sense of hopelessness.
And like they said in that in the manosphere documentary,
fathers absent or abusive a world which there is less
(07:52):
economic opportunities than there were for everyone.
It's just that women probably feel at least because we had
none and now we're getting some.So there's there's, yeah,
there's a lot of big factors andthey play out in micro levels
all day, every day. It's interesting when you said
that I was reminded of a new term that's come out recently
and it's called collective narcissism.
(08:12):
And this is, I'm just found an article that's like the
destruction of reality, reason and society.
And I think in a world where we increasingly lack control of,
you know, it could be the way careers used to unfold and the
way we used to be able to provide for families and the
lack of toxic kind of behavior on line and all of this stuff.
(08:36):
We are now in a world that is just so uncertain and so noisy
that there's apparently this rise of collective narcissism
where masses of society are making really destructive
decisions. Yeah.
Do you know, it's interesting though, I feel like, and this is
probably where optimism and pessimism come in.
(08:56):
And I don't think I'm an optimist.
I think I'm a realist, but I skew towards optimism of human
nature has always been and will always be to find a way through.
And like, even to remember that movie Lord of the Flies?
And it was about, you know, the kids.
Yeah. That's like completely the
opposite of what actually happens when people end up in
those situations. And there have been situations
(09:17):
like that and what actually tends to happen as people come
together and they work together and they figure out how to come
through a such a really, really tough thing together.
So I think we're seeing sometimes the worst instincts of
humans and it can feel back. It's everyone, but it's actually
the 2% that are very loud and that everyone else is actually.
And even if you're talking aboutlike US politics or something
(09:39):
that feels really divisive. I reckon if you polled most
people, most people have the similar fundamental values.
If they think it's a different way of getting there, that's
fine. But we, we let the loud voices
sway how we feel about how badlythe world is going.
And yes, there are some powerfulloud voices, but over time, I
(10:01):
don't know, there's never been asituation where evil prevails or
where humans give up. And so I kind of just feel like
we will muddle our way through this the way we always have.
Hopeful, hopeful, hopeful. Thank you.
That's super encouraging. Let's bring it individual.
Don't. Believe a word of it.
I'm going to hang on to it. No, it is, I, I do in a way.
(10:23):
I, I, my brain can compute that because I have to believe that
those in positions of power and influence, sanity will prevail
and the next term or in the future, you know, sanity will
prevail. So, and I have to believe that
because, you know, hope. But I do think that our
(10:43):
amygdala, I was obviously doing a bit of research, was not built
for this 24/7 news cycle. Like you said, the CNN, like we
were not built for crises after crises, after crises that play
out right in front of us, in ourfeeds, in front of our eyes all
the time. And as a result, it is
exhausting and tiring. And as a result, anxiety goes
up. It's hard to concentrate, stay
(11:04):
motivated and feel safe. Actually, especially, you know,
not knowing if we're going to have fuel tomorrow and what that
even means. Like it's like the COVID, you
know, something's happening, butwhat does it even mean?
And AI let like let's add that on to the mix as well and like
will the next generation even beable to work?
I did see it last last doom dooms girly thing was I saw
something yesterday that talked about the weavers, which were
(11:27):
completely disrupted. You know, when the loom came
into play and fabric was mass produced and traded, there was
an entire sector of people and working people that were put out
of work like in one fell swoop. And she was likening that to
white collar jobs and AI. She's like they, the weavers
(11:47):
were no different. They had four day work weeks and
flexible work and they could come and go as they pleased.
Then they held an immense amountof power.
And yet here we are that entire,you know, And I'm like, OK.
But then you think about that. Even when you think about
typists and secretaries, that whole industry fell apart, taxi
industry fell apart, motel industry fell apart.
(12:09):
All of these industries fall apart.
And every single time they fall apart.
It's almost like, OK, here's howI put it.
When you look at Simone Biles atthe Olympics doing her
gymnastics, you look at her and you go, there is absolutely no
way humans could ever push the limits more than that because
this is the peak of human potential.
(12:30):
And then you go back 10 years and we thought the same then and
we thought the same then 20 years before.
We think it was sprinting. You're like looking at these
people run like 9 second, 100 meters going.
There is no way we can beat that.
And yet we do. And I think every time one of
these industries is disrupted, we are basing our future focus
(12:50):
on what we know to be true now. And what it actually takes is
imagining a whole world that is fundamentally different, which
is very hard for humans to do. We're not designed for that,
most of us. So I I do feel like looking back
is a nice way to look forward and just go in the past.
Every time we've hit one of these situations, things have
changed and evolved and we've ended up in a future that we
(13:12):
couldn't imagine. I I just feel like, yeah.
I love it. I, I think this is a really
appropriate time to go in spectrum of responses because
you've described, you've described your response quite
well a couple times. And I would, it's like an
informed optimist in a way. I might combine like you are
like I'm informed, but I have tostay somewhat detached, but I am
(13:32):
an optimist that I will be fine.So there's like this kind of
informed yet detached optimist, like you have to function, you
have to believe that humans willprevail and we have the ability
and the tools and the community and the ability to collaborate
to so that everything will be OK.
So I do love that there is the checker, which I've caught
(13:54):
myself at the start of. I recall the, the Israel
Palestine conflict. I was the checker.
I refreshed the news feed constantly.
I could not switch off. I found every podcast available.
I probably did the same in Trumpterm 1.
I have been better this. I mean, I've had to be better.
Like honestly, like what? What I, I can't be the checker
anymore. I cannot refresh the news
(14:15):
anymore. I've started to limit, you know,
Anyway, never mind. So there's the checker, then
there's the avoider, Then there's the avoider, the head in
the sand, Everything fine. I do think of a gorgeous.
To be like, you do know they were right, invaded Iran, right?
And she's like, what? The avoider he's.
Probably more of a detached optimist than me.
She's like, what am I going to do about them invading around?
(14:36):
Yes, OK, OK, well, there is an avoider where it's like
everything is fine and then there's the pair lies.
They know something's wrong, butbut like just are totally total
paralysis to act on anything, you know, just stuck that freeze
symptom, which again is is very common with the amygdala.
Am I missing any? Did I you know any that you
thought that others might resonate with?
(14:58):
The other one I've noticed is that what is it?
Is it the evangelist? I'm going to call it that.
And that's the people you see. And I feel like I've been
exposed to a few of these on Instagram or in at a BBQ or
wherever where they're like but.Gaza.
Why aren't you doing more? Why aren't you sharing more?
(15:18):
And they get a sense of control from sharing links and talking
about it and being like on that team of I'm doing something.
And my challenge is always like,I am up for doing something.
Like you tell me what's going tohave an impact and I will be on
that first bus there. But I, I do think awareness and
pressure does do something when especially because we're showing
(15:42):
governments what we care about. But I feel like that kind of
really confrontational style of do more without really being
clear on what to do is I find that one quite like it is
obviously solving a sense of lack of control for someone.
And, and I do think there's a bunch of people who jump to that
mode like, yeah, yeah. Have you seen anyone in that
(16:04):
position? 100% of course, because I and I
do relate to it as well. In my 20s, I was probably more
of that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I and I think you get, you know, older, wiser, tired or who
knows? But I, I do think what I do like
is when campaigns are organized.And when I think about campaigns
(16:25):
that are organized, I think of crises such as the Christchurch
mosque shooting, the Christchurch earthquake.
I mean, how ironic to, you know,to horrific things of that city.
But what I mean by organized is there was a collective response
in that here are three things you can do.
And I remember that organizations united around the
(16:48):
Muslim population in New Zealandand donated.
And, you know, there are things where it was like step 123 and
you could do one of those steps and still feel a part of the
solution. And I, I just recall those times
of being calm, collectiveness, like you said, humans coming
together and it being very clearwhat we could do.
(17:08):
And I just wonder, in a world oftotal uncertainty, maybe we just
don't have the collective. Like, here's the smartest things
to do. And often there is one like the
and I've noticed more and more so when some of these big events
happen, there are shared lists through respected news media of
here are the organizations that are on the ground, donate to one
(17:30):
of these. And like obviously do that if
there is like, like, because I feel like even things like
petitions.com or whatever it is now there's like a million
petitions everything. And I'm like, I think we need to
go back to just having one that we all sign rather than like 100
that have 10 signatures. So I do, and, and there's a
whole bigger argument as well with nonprofits and how everyone
(17:51):
starts their own versus just supporting one and like having a
centralization. But I, yeah, I feel like those
spectrum of responses, we probably like the drama
triangle, jump through them a bit and you can find yourself
easily in one and then have to sort of work through to get to
1. That's slightly healthier for
you, for each of us because it is so easy.
And like, I feel like that even now with this, like it will be
(18:13):
interesting to see in like 2 months time.
But this pending oil crisis and you're like, OK, so we may end
up with no oil. And I'm not someone who's like,
Oh, well, the government will sort it because, you know, I
don't think that I'm sort of a capitalist on that front.
Like, I don't think that's a good thing.
I'm also not someone who's racing out to fill my car up
(18:34):
because I'm like, I'll probably be the first person to just stop
driving. We're in a privileged position
to stop driving for a while. But yeah, it is sort of like,
how do you sort of work through each one of those responses to
get to 1 that you can kind of live with?
And maybe this is also in a weird way, a way to practice the
skills that we need at work these days, which has been kind
(18:57):
of somewhat uncomfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty.
Like all of these things are ambiguous and they're uncertain
and there's no clear outcome. And there's a lot of hard things
and starting to like really grapple with how do you sit in
that and take control where you can and like, face the harsh
facts head on. But hold have a plan or have a
(19:20):
idea of how it turns out? Well, it's something that works
out really nicely when it comes to redundancies and restructures
and business pivots and all of that stuff we're facing these
days as well. Absolutely.
And where we can control to control.
So let's get in. Let's just deep dive into that a
little bit and maybe just give some tips that have worked for
us. And I like how you talked about
(19:42):
this kind of sphere of control and there's so much ambiguity
and things do happen to us, but where in that environment
situation, where can you actually affect what is, what
are the things that you can control?
Just start there. So I that's the first thing I
(20:03):
want to kind of say. It's just a bit of a sphere of
control. Reset and just ask yourself
what's the smallest thing. Step I can take to take back
control of whatever the situation is going on around me.
And that could be something as simple as like going out for a
walk or turning the TV off or putting a time box on,
scrolling, because if you are ina state of panic, you are not
(20:26):
being helpful to anyone like that.
That's the reality. And what is that like?
I've been watching The News Reader, which is a really cool
Australian show in the 80s, but it also really highlights like
bad news is very good for news organizations.
Like they actually love bad newsbecause eyeballs turn to them.
These people who are glued to like figuring it out or, or
(20:49):
stuck in that state of panic. And, and there are a lot of
arguments that news has led to people being more easily
controlled because when you havea population that lives in fear,
they're looking for a solution. So like really trying to take
yourself out of that fear mode is a really good place to start
when you are thinking about whatyou can control.
(21:11):
I think you've described boundaries as well, like
boundaries that actually work for us and our families and our
friends. And if that is limiting the
scrolling, doom scrolling, online podcast, whatever it is
that's actually not taking us forward or get it or put it, if
we're in spiral, it's time to pull out the boundaries, which
feels like a very healthy response.
(21:33):
Yeah. And I think that probably covers
to how we communicate with our friends.
Like I feel like that kind of cancellation, not cancellation
of meetings, but or like ghosting.
But the idea of cancelling bad people rose probably what was
like 1020 years ago as a result of really powerful people
getting away with really terrible things.
(21:54):
And one of the things that normal people could control is
no longer supporting them. So there was a case of a couple
of musicians who had abused their wives and girlfriends and
people stopped listening to their music.
So that used to be a tool, that was a control tool, but now it's
become a weaponized tool where anyone, anyone disagree with,
they get cancelled for saying ordoing anything.
(22:15):
And I actually feel like the boundaries thing we need to all
practice now is being able to debate ideas and to disagree
with each other politely and considerately and not assuming
that someone who thinks or votesdifferently than you is bad.
Because that divisiveness is what leads bad things happening.
Whereas if we can relearn how todisagree and get along and have
(22:38):
healthy debates or keep it to the topic, not making it
personal, I actually think the rest of us will be much better
at coming together and being sort of a united front and able
to tackle these things together rather than sort of picking our
tribes and ending up with, you know, leaders who we don't
really like. I don't, I don't disagree with
(23:00):
anything you've just said. So fabulous.
I'll highlight that. So fully support that.
Like going down any red pill, blue pill is not good for anyone
really. And we actually need diverse
perspectives and healthy debate.I'm currently on red pills, just
by the way, a whole bag of red pills.
Is that in the bad one or the good one?
(23:21):
Yeah, that's, I think the red pill is, Oh my gosh, I can't
remember is in the Meadowsphere.I can't.
Remember, I think. It was red pills.
Yeah. They're like, take the red pill.
I think. I think it is.
Look, I and I just like to end on anxiety versus useful action.
And this is something that can apply to all sorts of scenarios,
is that we will feel things. I think it's very normal to feel
things when we're facing so muchchange, ambiguity and frankly,
(23:44):
crisis. And there's a point at which we
have to breathe, we have to stretch, we have to laugh, we
have to get out of our heads andout of anxiety and take useful
action. We're we're huge fans of small
steps. And so when confronted with
uncertainty around AI, get curious about AI, learn a little
bit more about it, use it, encourage your the next
(24:08):
generation to get really curiousabout that.
When we're unsure of, yeah, I don't know, any other thoughts
around other small actions that we can take instead of sitting
in anxiety. And sitting and stewing this.
And I actually need to look intothis because I've heard two
different reasons for this. But the origin of self-care
either came from or it could have been sort of a combination
(24:28):
of both the black civil rights movement back in the 60s,
fifties, sixties, 70s, and the AIDS campaign for all the people
who had been very, very much ignored and absolutely
criminally negligent health industry around them.
And so those groups both recognize that you had to
(24:51):
campaign hard all day, but in order to protect yourself, you
had to practice self-care, whichsometimes meant having a good
time, going out partying, havingfun, laughing with your friends
to replenish. And so I, like I said, I want to
dig into this more and, and findout exactly the background, but
I really love it as a philosophythat sometimes when really bad
(25:13):
things are happening and we're feeling stressed, it feels wrong
to have a good time And it feelslike we should be serious and
stressed and anxious the whole time.
But actually, that's the exact opposite thing.
Yes, you can be and time boxer and really take like like
Kristen shared those actions of what can I do to contribute?
What can I help with? What can I do to make sure that
I'm not over stressing myself, but actually pause sometimes and
(25:36):
just remember, we are alive in this world.
It is ultimately this beautiful Gaia we live in and and look
after yourself and have a littlebit of fun because it's not
hurting anyone for you to have abit of fun and to and to and to
be happy even when times enough.Well said, Well said.
Thank you for your retail. Kristen, it's the retail.
(25:58):
No, it is a hopeful message in what can be uncertain time, so
please do reach out if you're feeling like you want to chat to
someone. We've got an incredibly
supportive community of almost 800 women who are going to be in
your corner. If you are feeling a little bit
alone, just reach out to hello@powersuit.com and we'll
get you all set up and we can work in your budget too, so be
(26:19):
well everyone you. Noticed that just tangent last
week, someone came up to us and she was like, we need more in
person meet ups. We have in person power suit
meet ups by the way now and theyare the best because everyone's
joined Power Suit open to meeting people, open to, you
know, walking in, being friendly, all of the stuff that
we normally scared about. And she was just like, there was
just something so nice about walking into a Cafe, meeting up
(26:42):
with, I don't know how many 2040other power suitors.
And she was just like, it was just such a buzz to just know I
was going to be welcomed, I was going to be accepted.
I was going to meet great people.
And a few other people have saidthat too, that they're like,
gosh, power suit is interesting.And we're like, yeah, that's who
we attract. But it is if you are feeling
that, like there are places you can go and it's not just power
(27:03):
suit, but there are places you can go, that you will find
pockets of amazing people who are there to support you, who
are there to have a nice chat, who are happy to talk through
the things that are like top of mind because we all have them.
And it can help. So go find those people.
Hello at powersuit.com everyone reach out if you are in need of
a bit of support and we got yourback and we will catch everyone
(27:24):
next time. Bye for now.
Popular Podcasts
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com